When life gets messy in our relationships seem all tangled up. How do we get untangled? That's the message today on bold steps.
We have issues because we're human. We have issues because we're falling. We have issues because God is still working in our life. And when you put a bunch of people with issues together in the same place, our issues are going to splash over to other people's issues. We are entangled in ways that do not allow us to fulfill the purpose that God has for our life.
And welcome to Bold Steps with Mark job. Mark is president of Moody Bible Institute and senior pastor of New Life Community Church in Chicago. I'm Wayne Shepherd. Well, we've all had the frustration of dealing with things that are tangled in a mess just like that, caught in your backpack that always finds a way to get tangled up. But when it comes to our relationships, entanglement can cause frustration. There's pain, even a losing of our joy. And Mark.
You're going to help us face our issues today and take some steps to untangle them.
Yeah. We're going to look at two women in the Bible that are both mentioned just one time. But how would you like your name to be mentioned in the Bible? Because you're not getting along. So but the Apostle Paul speaks to them about untangling the relationship and kind of guides them through this process. And so if you're listening right now and you say, you know, I'm not talking to this person or I'm at odds with this person, and maybe they're a family member, a believer that you
are just not getting along with. Hey, God wants you to hear this message today.
Well, let's go ahead and get started now with this brand new lesson. It's titled Untangling Life Without Losing Your Peace. Here's Mark.
It happened to me this past weekend. My wife and I were getting ready for Graduation and she comes up to me. This is my job. I know it. No one gave me this job description when we got married, but I know it's my job now. I'm the untangler of necklaces. We got a couple minutes to go. We're in a hurry. And invariably she says to me. Can you untangle my necklace? And she hands it to me. And so I grab it, and it's knotted up and tangled with a bunch of. And I just realized I
have big hands when it comes untangling necklaces. These are small. And I'm trying to pull it apart. And this. And she says, is it done? Not yet. Honey, how did this. I'm wondering, how did these necklaces get so entangled? But, you know, you throw a bunch of necklaces together. Ladies, are you looking at me like. Yeah, you throw. How many of you spend 15 minutes doing it this morning? You throw a bunch of necklaces together and somehow they
get entangled. It's the very same thing with people. You throw a bunch of people together in a family, in a community, at a job, in a neighborhood, and invariably those relationships get entangled. Some of it's good entanglement. Some of it's very toxic, unhealthy, bad conflictive relationships. We as people are complicated. The truth of it is that you have issues and I have issues. I like to do this once in a while. Can you tell the person beside you? Just look at the person beside you and
say you have issues. Hey, are you happy that you're in a church full of people that have issues? And some of them looked at you and said, you have more issues than I have. I could tell right away by that conversation. But here's the thing. I just want you to be clear. This is not a church for perfect people, or it would be empty. This is a church with people that have issues. We have issues because we're human. We have issues because we're fallen. We have
issues because God is still working in our life. And when you put a bunch of people with issues together in the same place, our issues are going to splash over to other people's issues. We have insecurities, we have trust issues, we have brokenness from our past. We have scars from relationships that maybe disappointed us. We have authority issues of people that should have been there and were not there. And so when we get together and try to work it out in community, we end up with
a lot of entangled messes, whether we are Christian or not. Christian, we have relationship issues. It was true of us. It was true of the New Testament as well. It was true of Jesus and his disciples. Sometimes we I hear people say, I just wish I could have been with Jesus and the disciples. They were so spiritual. Yeah, but they had issues too. The disciples argued about who was going to be greatest in the kingdom. Judas betrayed Jesus for 30 pieces of silver. Peter denied Jesus a few times.
They argued about who was going to sit at his right hand, or who was not going to do it. Jesus had to rebuke them. Sometimes he had to encourage them, sometimes because they had issues as well. So to be human and to be in relationship means that we have issues and entanglement. And so I want to talk to you about that, those issues and entanglement today, because I do believe that sometimes we are entangled in ways that do not allow us to fulfill the purpose that God
has for our life. Some of you today are stressed out, are frustrated, are joyless because of your relationship issues. And I want to talk to you about how to manage those, how to step into them, how to not avoid them, but how to step right into them through the principles given to us in the Word of God. So I'm going to talk to you about untangling life without losing your peace. I want to read to you out of Philippians chapter four. I'm going to begin in verse one
and read to verse three. It says, therefore the apostle Paul, by the way, is writing to a group of people in the city of Philippi. If you read acts chapter 16, it was on Paul's second missionary journey that out of a prayer meeting of women, they birthed the church. So this is a young church, uh, full of issues. They're figuring out what it means to be followers of Jesus, figuring out what it means to walk in a Christ like way. Like many of us are in this church
as well. And the Apostle Paul is writing a letter inspired by the Holy Spirit. By the way, the Apostle Paul wrote many of the books in the New Testament. These letters are to churches, often of people that are coming out of non-Christian lifestyles and trying to figure out what it means to live for Christ. And so he's writing to them, and he says in Philippians chapter four verse one, therefore, my beloved brothers and sisters, whom I love and long for, he was in prison writing to them,
hadn't seen them in a while. My joy and my crown stand firm in the Lord in this way, dear friends. He says, I plead with you and Senshi to be of the same mind in the Lord. Yes, I ask you, my true companion, help these women since they have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel, along with Clement and the rest of my co-workers whose names are in the book of life. Rejoice in the Lord always. And again I say, rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident
to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. If you're taking notes, write this down. Number one, I'm going to talk to you about four ways of untangling your relationships without losing your peace. Number one, resolve relational conflict quickly. The apostle
Paul says, I plead with you, Utopia. And some people say, well, how do you say the second name? Literally the right right wording of it is soon to gay, soon to gay. We say sin to chi or however you want to pronounce it. These are the only times that these ladies names are mentioned in scripture. This is how not to be mentioned in the Bible. The only thing we know is that these two ladies were at odds with each other. They were fighting with each other. We also know that
they were Christians. We know that they helped start the church with Paul. We know that they were strongly involved in ministry with Paul, probably inviting people, opening up their house, witnessing to people, gathering people, leading Bible studies, doing all the things that hard workers do that love Jesus. But yet they had a problem. They just couldn't stand each other. Yet they love God and their names. It's clearly it says your names are written in the Lamb's Book of Life.
We don't know what they were arguing about, but I've been around enough people long enough to know that usually it's petty issues. It doesn't tell us that there were big theological doctrines. It doesn't tell us that this was about some interpretation of eschatology, the end times. It tells us that they just couldn't get along. But my experience with people leads me to believe that it was probably
over something petty. You said you were going to bring the guacamole to the woman's gathering, and you know what? You didn't. You brought the chips instead. And I really wanted you to do that. I brought the chips and you didn't do that. You are so irresponsible. Oh I'm irresponsible. You don't know the amount of work that I've put in and the things that I do and sacrifice. Are you undermining me? You do work. I do a lot more work than you do. Last week, we showed up,
and I expected you to be there. And you were just out praying with someone while I was doing all the work. Oh, really? So you think all I do is pray and don't enter the word? Let me tell you what you do. And they have this conflict. They have this battle, and suddenly they're not talking to each other. They're talking to other people about each other. And now you have a big rift. Does that sound familiar to anybody? Well, the apostle Paul is saying, hey, these are two great women,
and I want you to understand what he encourages. A fellow worker. He calls him Yokefellow, but was actually translated as it's actually his name. He says yes. And I ask you, loyal You'll yell, follow! Help these women who have contended at my side for the cause of the gospel. So basically, what the Apostle Paul says is these women cannot figure out their relational conflict. So please get a mediator.
Get a mediator. Can I say this? Obviously, these women had probably tried to talk with each other, solve it on their own, but they were unable to solve and resolve their own issues. And so the Apostle Paul, inspired by the spirit led by the Holy Spirit, says, get a mediator. There are some of you in this auditorium today that you have conflict with people that you love. But you have been unable to resolve the conflict, and you have too much pride to try to get a mediator.
I believe that your relationship is worth mediation.
You're listening to Bold Steps with Marc Job. We'll continue today's message in a moment. Marc, there's something I've been noticing lately that I think many of our listeners are thinking about with so many voices competing for our attention. There's social media news cycles, workplace demands. It's easy to lose sight of what matters eternally. And I find myself wondering how many Christians today are investing their best resources in things that won't ultimately last.
You know, Wayne, I remember when my youngest son was playing football in high school. It was a big game and I went there. I was cheering him on, and I got a phone call and I thought, well, let me pick up this phone call just for a moment. So I went down and I got on the phone call, and it was right at that time that my son, he intercepted a pass. And afterwards he said, dad, did you see that? And I had to say I missed miss the moment I was distracted by something and in
the end, it wasn't an urgent phone call. Listen, right now there's a lot of distraction. The political environment in our country, there's a drama every day. There's a lot that's happening internationally. There's wars, there's natural disasters. It feels like we are just sucked into it. But I want to say, don't miss the moment. I believe that we are seeing more people come to Christ at this season of time, especially under the age of 35, than I
have ever seen in our lifetime. It's happening in Africa and Europe. It's happening in the United States of America. We have bold steps, are committed to not get distracted, but to make sure that we are proclaiming the gospel of Jesus at a time of uncertainty so that people can come to know him in this window of opportunity that we have. So we want to encourage you. Pray. Don't miss the moment.
Such an important word, Mark. Thank you. And if you would like to become part of this eternal work today by visiting us, you can do that at Bold steps.org and make a gift or call us at 800 Moody. That's (800) 356-6639. And when you do, we'll send you a special gift as a way of saying thanks for partnering with us and sharing God's truth that will last eternally. More on that later. But let's get back to the message now. Again, here's Mark Jobe.
Look at me. Married couples. I believe that your marriage is worth mediation. Look up at me. Men, especially husbands. Because normally when I talk to married couples. I've had this conversation dozens and dozens of times. A couple can't get along. There's barriers that have been lifted up. There's Disagreement. They've been sleeping as far as they can on the same bed to the edges. They're not talking to each other.
They're not getting along well. And so they just start to accept a dysfunctional relationship because they've tried to talk about it. And when they talk about it, someone clamps down, someone gets aggressive, someone argues, so they shut down, they stop talking, and then they say, well, this is just how we're supposed to live. I guess. She doesn't listen. He doesn't listen. So we're just going to, I guess,
accept that this is the way it is. And anytime that they are encouraged to get help, I've had a lot of conversations with men like this, especially not exclusively. But I'll say, what about counseling, pastor? We don't need counseling. She just needs to get her act together. Look up at me. It is the ultimate arrogance when you can't solve your issues to believe that no one else can help you. There are some of you in this auditorium that need to just humble yourselves a little bit and say,
we need a counselor. We need a mediator. We need someone to help us navigate this. Just like the Apostle Paul was telling these women who are good women who love Jesus, whose names were written in the Lamb's Book of Life, but they were unwilling to get help. And he has to include a mediator in there to get their problems solved. I believe, by the way, that one of the great challenges that we face is that when we accept relational contention without trying to get it solved
as quickly as possible. Many of you know that I grew up in a small town in northern Spain called Rubina. Everybody in the town knew each other, but I'll never forget that there was a brother and sister in their 70s who had not talked to each other for 20 years. 20 years. Not spoken. Not said hi. Not been eating each other's birthday parties. Not helped each other out. Not come together during Mother's Day. Not celebrated Christmas together in a town of 220 years. Refused to say a word
to each other. Why? At the death of their mother, there was some argument over inheritance, petty issues, and for 20 years had refused to speak a word to one another. You know what? I've been at the funeral of way too many people. Where someone has their hand on the casket, they're looking at the body that's laid out, and they are crying and saying, I wish we would have got things right. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you. I don't know why we fought about this. It was just
so dumb that we didn't talk. And I'm saying, why are you waiting for the funeral? There are some of you here right now that don't talk to people that you should be talking to, that you have no relationship with, people that you should have relationship with because it's over something petty. And at the funeral, you will be decrying the fact that you haven't conversed. I think God is telling you it's time to deal with it now. Not at the funeral.
You're listening to Bold Steps with Mark Jobe. A message titled Untangling Life Without Losing Your Peace. We'll continue our lesson at this time tomorrow. So join us again right here. But in case you ever want to revisit a previous message from Mark, or want to share one of these Bible teachings with a friend, just go to our website. Bold steps dot on our home page. You'll also see that we're offering a brand new bold step gift, one that really speaks to the moms and dads of young boys.
And Mark, let me hand it back to you.
Wayne. We have Jason and Aaron, their authors. They are married couple and they have written a book called Lies Boys Believe and the Epic Quest for truth. And great to have you in the studio with us. And one of the lies you address in this book is that following Jesus is boring. And I think that's, well, that's an important lie. Jesus is anything but boring, isn't it? Uh, so tell me why you think boys are susceptible to this particular deception?
Well, a lot of times when boys are introduced to to faith and to Jesus, it involves a lot of sitting still, listening to a Bible story. If there is an activity, a lot of times, at least me growing up, it was like a flannel board with the story up there. And, uh.
And Moses kept falling off the flannel board in my life. Yeah.
That's right. And, uh, if if our modern boys are anything like I was, I had a real hard time appreciating, um, the stories when I had to sit still and be forced to hold my hands in my lap and, um, be super well behaved. But what we what we find in Scripture is that the life of Jesus was anything but boring. Uh, the things that boys yearn for in their innermost parts is the adventure of following a leader
and leading other men. And that's exactly what we see in in the True Stories of Jesus, where he, uh, he went fishing. And when he was on adventure all the time, he was, uh, challenging people and encouraging them and healing them. And, uh, the people who follow Jesus, the disciples were anything but boring men. Um, they were very real, very active, very engaged. There were arguments, there
were lots of challenges in their lives. And that's really part of the adventure that we kind of, I don't know, whitewash out of Jesus. A lot of times when we're telling Bible stories to our young men, following him is anything but boring.
Aaron, I don't know about your four boys, but sometimes it can be hard to get boys to read. And I know this book is for parents to use with their boys. You had that in mind as you wrote and designed this book, right?
Yeah. It's different. There's actually several books in the live series. Lies. Women believe lies, men believe lies, Girls believe, which you mentioned. And this book is very different from the format of those. And yeah, our boys did not love to read. I remember being a little girl, and if I had a free afternoon, I would spend it with a book. That's not how my boys operate. They want to be outside playing swords with sticks. So how do we get them
in the content? So we were really intentional. It's a fiction book. The others are not. They're just straight trade books. And it follows a dad and his sons on this big adventure. It actually models a trip that Jason and our boys have taken. They go out west and they encounter all kinds of excitement. Um, and there's also things that happen in the book. They're going to turn the book all different ways as they're reading it. They're going to there's things they're supposed to do with the corners
of the book. There's quests they do within the book. There's cryptograms where they're trying to solve riddles, and none of that is an attempt to bait and switch them into the Bible. As Jason said, we think the Bible is the most exciting book in the world. And so this is to be in parallel with the Bible. And what we've heard from parents and boys over and over again is my boy couldn't put it down, and he
hasn't done that with any other book. And that's because we intentionally invite him into this story with these other men and boys that are people they're going to want to be like, and they're encountering truth all along the way. And I actually think that models life pretty well. Life is an adventure, and we are encountering challenges, and Jesus is with us every step. And so, um, we we were excited to give it to boys in a format that we thought they would love, and our boys loved it.
They're fiction readers. Our boys are. We toss a nonfiction book at them. They might roll their eyes and they might or might not read it, but a great fiction story with an epic adventure, they're going to read it. So we hope this book is that. Yeah.
That's great. Well, there you have it. Jason and Aaron have written this book specifically for 6 to 12 year old boys. So if you are a grandparent, a parent, if you know someone that's raising boys in that category, listen, this is the book to get into their hands as soon as possible.
And we'll be happy to send you a copy of this bold step gift by Jason and Aaron Davis today. When you give a gift of any amount to support bold steps. Just give us a call at 800 Moody or give online at Bold Steps. You can also send your gift and request the book Lies Boys Believe by
writing to us in the mail. Address your letter to Bold Steps, 820 North LaSalle Boulevard, Chicago, Illinois. 606 ten and if you've come to value the bold, Bible based teaching of this program, but you're not yet part of the team, I want to invite you to become a bold partner today. It's easy to sign up and become an official bold partner. By joining, you'll gain access to exclusive content from pastor Mark everything from sermon materials to
special videos. Simply go online to become a partner today and start receiving these valuable resources. Go to Bold Steps org or give us a call at 800 Moody. Well, I'm Wayne Shepherd inviting you to listen again tomorrow. And Mark continues this lesson titled Untangling Life Without Losing Your Peace. It's coming up Friday on Bold Steps with Mark Jobe. Bold steps is a production of Moody Radio, a ministry of Moody Bible Institute.