Today on Bold steps, Mark Jobe concludes his powerful message about breaking free from the prison of unforgiveness.
When I forgive someone, I'm not saying you deserve to be forgiven. I'm not saying you've earned your forgiveness. I'm simply saying I refuse to live with unforgiveness in my heart because it's poison to my soul. I'm forgiving you because I need to walk in cleansing of my soul before God.
Welcome to Bold Steps with Mark Jobe. Mark is president of Moody Bible Institute and the senior pastor of New Life Community Church in Chicago. I'm Wayne Shepherd. We're continuing our series called Untangled Relationships, and today we reach the conclusion of Mark's three part message on the trap of unforgiveness. In the first two segments, Mark explained how unforgiveness works like a prison that we built for others, but end
up living in ourselves. He showed us how unresolved anger creates footholds for the enemy in our lives, and why genuine forgiveness is the only path to freedom. If you missed either of those messages, I encourage you to visit Bold Steps org to catch up when you can. Now let's join Mark Jobe for the powerful conclusion of his message titled The Trap of Unforgiveness.
In the city of Chicago, we hear about these crazy acts of violence. And one more time we'll hear on I-55, someone honked at someone. Someone gave him a dirty look. And before we know it, someone shot and killed on the expressway. And we say, wow, traffic is terrible in Chicago. Can I tell you it has nothing to do with traffic? This is not about the honk. This is not about the driving. This is about the guy that at five years old was physically abused, beaten up and abandoned by
a stepfather, and they haven't processed it. And they're full of anger and they're full of issues in their life that they haven't dealt with. And when you when you tip it, it spills out. If I had an opaque glass here, you wouldn't be able to tell what's inside of it. But if someone bumps me, whatever's inside is going to spill out. If I'm full of anger, rage, brawling, unforgiveness, then it takes a honk on the expressway and it
spills out. And everything that's directed towards that stepfather that abused me now becomes the rage against the person that just honked at me. And people say, I don't know why I'm like this. I love my girlfriend or I love my wife and but I explode and I just call her things. I don't know what's wrong. I know what's wrong. What's wrong is you haven't dealt with your issues. What's wrong is you haven't gone to those hard places.
What's wrong is you haven't processed your hurt, you haven't forgiven, you haven't gone to those places that are causing you to be an angry person. And until you deal with it, you may deal with the emotions. And you say, well, pastor, I know what I'm going to do. I'm just going to count to ten. When I'm angry. That's good. Ten, nine, eight. Seven, six. I'm just going to go for a jog. Some of you are really good shape because you're angry so often you're going for a jog, or I'm going to just
breathe deeply. And you know what? I'm happy you're doing that because I don't want people around you to get hurt. But that will not deal with the core issue. The pressure cooker will still have pressure unless the flame is turned off, unless you deal with the root of your hurt, unless you deal with that unforgiveness, unless you deal with the pain, unless you confront it and process it before God and deal with it, it will continue to surface, it will continue to boil up. So there are some
people that are believers in this auditorium today. And you come to me, I know because you talk to me about it and you say, pastor, I don't know what happened. I was doing so good for three months, and then I fell, and then I did so good for five months, and then I fell again. And then I was doing really good for another four months. And then I fell again. Let me tell you what's happening. What's happening to a lot of people is that you do well until you
get angry. And when you get angry, then suddenly all the old stuff, you you go immediately back to whatever made you feel good in your old life. That's what it tells us earlier in this chapter, in Ephesians chapter four, verse 26 through 27, it says, be angry and do not sin. Listen. Do not let the sun go down while you are angry. Do not give the devil a foothold. When you become angry, you give the devil an opportunity
and a foothold. You're doing really well fighting pornography. But when you got angry, you wanted something to make you feel better. And so you. You opened up that old pornography page that you go to, and you fell. You called up that old girlfriend and fell sexually. You went out and over drank. You lit up one more time that cannabis just to calm your nerves down. And you were doing so well. You know why? Anger. And so what the Apostle Paul is telling us is he's telling
us that we have to deal with our anger. We have to get rid of this bitterness and rage and brawling and slander. It tells us in Matthew chapter six verse 14, Jesus was teaching his disciples to pray. And at the end of the prayer he says, if you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your heavenly father will not forgive you your sins. And what
does this mean? It simply means that when you have unforgiveness in your heart, you're living in sin and God cannot release you from what you're continuing to do. You have to choose to get rid of it so God can release you from it. So the Apostle Paul is talking to these believers about walking in victory, and he's describing to them how they can overcome. And he ends up this passage with this last exhortation. Which leads me to my third point. Unforgiveness can only be overcome with
genuine forgiveness. So the Apostle Paul says in verse 32, be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ, God forgave you. So the Apostle Paul really gets to the root of the solution when he says, hey, you can't grieve the spirit by having unforgiveness that leads to the fruit of unforgiveness. Until you get to the point of saying, I gotta release, I
gotta forgive, I gotta let go. It's interesting that he says, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you. In other words, that we have to forgive each other like God forgives us. Now, there's a lot of misunderstanding around forgiveness, what it means and what it doesn't mean. Look up at me. I think this is really important. Forgiveness does not mean excusing what was done to you, minimizing that? What was done to you? Blame shifting someone
else about it? It. Forgiveness does not mean it's okay that it happened to you. That's not forgiveness. So I never want you to misunderstand what forgiveness is or what it's not. Sometimes people act like, well, I can't forgive the person because in their mind, they think forgiveness is just saying it's okay. And they say it wasn't okay. There was a lot of hurt and pain there. Forgiveness is, according to the Bible, a biblical definition of forgiveness. It's
to clear the record of the wrongdoing and sin. In other words, when I forgive someone, I'm simply saying, I'm not saying you deserve to be forgiven. I'm not saying you've earned your forgiveness. I'm simply saying I refuse to live with unforgiveness in my heart because it's poison to my soul, whether you deserve it or don't deserve it. I'm forgiving you because I need to walk in cleansing of my soul before God. Do you remember when they were crucifying Jesus on the cross and the soldiers were.
They were, uh, playing a game to see who got his tunic? Jesus is in the cross, and he says, forgive them, for they know not what they do. They weren't repentant. They weren't asking for forgiveness. They weren't saying, oh, Lord, we're doing such a wrong thing. Jesus was forgiving. Forgive them, for they know not what they do. Now there's a difference between God's forgiveness and our forgiveness. You need the forgiveness of God by embracing his gift through repentance, turning
around and accepting his gift. The forgiveness of God relieves you from your past. You need you. And I need to forgive. Not because it excuses or takes away the sin of the other person, but because you and I need to be cleansed from the stain and grip of unforgiveness. Does that make sense? So what does it mean to forgive? God's way? Well, I think first of all, it means that you need to receive God's forgiveness in your life.
It's hard to forgive if you haven't received forgiveness. Some of us have been forgiven, but we haven't fully, fully allowed that forgiveness to penetrate our hearts.
You're listening to Bold Steps with Mark job, and we'll return to our message shortly. Mark, do you know what I've been reflecting on lately? The incredible privilege we have as believers living in this particular moment in history. I love to study history, but never before have we had such powerful tools for sharing the gospel globally. Instantly reaching people in remote villages. That happens through bold steps, doesn't it?
Or in close countries, in crowded cities alike. But we have this unprecedented opportunity and it comes with a tremendous responsibility, doesn't it?
You know, I heard recently that moody radio programming is heard in 190 countries is what someone said. Wow. And, um, technology has allowed us to do that. And I'm amazed when suddenly we get a email from Eastern Europe of someone saying, hey, I haven't found a church yet, but I listen to bold steps. Recently, someone told me that a doctor in Mexico had joined their church and they got saved through bold steps. And I'm like, wow, this is amazing how seeds are just being shot throughout all
the world. We know specifically that there are people in closed countries right now that listen in secret because it's dangerous for them to be caught listening to Christian radio. This is an amazing time to get the gospel out there. There are close to 9 billion people in the world, and there are millions and millions of people that have
very little gospel presence in their world. They are saturated with false religion, with heresies, with a lot of different ideology that does not allow Jesus Christ to come to the forefront. And so radio, podcasting, our technology is people can live stream. This is one of the ways that we get past the guards at the borders and we
through the airwaves. God has given us a beautiful gift to go past the guards, into the houses, into the homes, and right to into the bedrooms and kitchens where people live so that they are hearing the good message of Jesus like never before. And we are passionate about this. We know that there's a lot of other believers that are passionate as well. And we're saying, join us, please.
This is a powerful moment for us to proclaim the gospel of Jesus Christ, especially as the world is being shaken in so many ways.
I believe there are some listening right now who are not just hearers of the word, but want to be active participants in spreading that word. So today could be your day to step into that calling by giving to bold steps. Just go to Bold Steps org to make a gift or call 800 D.L. Moody. That's (800) 356-6639. Remember, your gift of any amount helps share God's Word with
those who need it most. Really, around the world, when you give any amount, we'll send you a special gift as our thanks and we'll take time to tell you about that just a little bit later here in the program today. But let's get back to the message now. Here again is Mark.
Some of us have been forgiven, but we still act like we are under guilt and condemnation. Can I just tell you what it means to be forgiven by God? Psalms chapter 32 and verse one and two says, blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord does not count against him, in whose spirit is no deceit. Can I tell you, when Jesus Christ has forgiven you, you?
It doesn't matter how long you've been there, what you've done, how grievous it's been, how deep and dark it's been, how nasty and dirty it has been. Your past is absolutely 100% expunged legally, spiritually before God. Your past is wiped clean not because you deserve it, but because Jesus paid the price. That means that whatever you've done is washed before God. Now, there may be consequences for what
you've done. God can forgive a murder, but you may still go to jail and have to serve a sentence here on earth. But God forgives. So you walk before God and it's covered. It's blotted. And so some of you have been cleansed, but you still walk as though your past condemns you. The Bible tells us that God listen. What? What else? It says in Isaiah chapter 38 verse 17. In your love you keep me from the pit of destruction. You have put all my sins behind your back so
God does not look back at our sins. It tells us in Isaiah chapter 43 verse 25, I love this. God is speaking. He says, I, even I am, who blots your transgressions for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more. Listen, I love the fact that God chooses not to remember our sins anymore. God doesn't have amnesia. He's omniscient. He knows all things, but he chooses not to remember our sins. Unlike your spouse. Or boyfriend or girlfriend, sometimes you get in an argument and we have our
mental filing cabinet. Oh, yeah. Remember what you said five years ago when you were mad at me and you said this? I can't believe you did that. Babe, I never I barely remembered that. Oh, yeah. Here's another one. I remember when you just left. You forgot my birthday. I can't believe you. I babe, you know, I had a lot going on. No, no, you forgot my birthday. Oh, you want to say that? And you have a whole
filing cabinet that you pull out during argument times. Let me tell you, God, He has an even more in-depth filing cabinet, but he's closed it. He locks it and he chooses not to remember it anymore. It's wiped. It's clean. It's done. And I want you to remember that because, man, I run into some some guys here that I, I mean, I met him before. They were believers before their BC days. And so when they introduced me, they, you know, I
know them with their street name. And then after a while, what I've discovered is they, they change their name because they don't want to be associated with the street name anymore. And so I still remember I still call them by their street name when I pastor. It's not that anymore. Now I'm. And they gave me their new name, their new identity. And I think that's so cool because it's they're they're saying that's who I was, but but that's not who I am anymore. I have a new identity.
I have a new calling. I have a new sense of who I am. That's the old. Here's the new. And so I believe that some of us have been cleansed, washed, forgiven, but we still act as though we're under condemnation. We still act as though we're guilty. We still act as though our sin is still condemning us. And I want to say, take on your new identity. You're a son or daughter of the Most High God, and when you
come before God, you're not who you were. When God looks at you, he sees you through Jesus Christ, and you have the righteousness of Jesus imputed upon you. And so when God sees you, he sees son. He sees daughter. He doesn't see alcoholic, divorced, liar, cheater, failure. That's not who God sees. God sees clean son, daughter of the Most High God. That is your identity in God. So
how do we release people? So if you know that today there's unforgiveness in your heart, if you sense that as I've been speaking, there's a name or 2 or 3 that pop up. If you've diagnosed yourself and realized, I don't have joy because I'm grieving the spirit, and I'm tired of having my head trapped between the bars of unforgiveness. Then here's your action. Step number one you need to confess and repent. Confess means that I agree with God about the fact that there is unforgiveness in
my heart. I have to tell God God I have unforgiveness, bitterness, resentment. It's there. It's in the crevice of my heart. It's poison in my soul. And I have to acknowledge and admit before you, God, that it's there. Secondly, it's not enough to confess it. You have to repent of it. Repentance means that I'm willing to deal with it, that I don't want it there anymore. I'm willing to go to the hard places and say, God, take it out of my heart because I don't want to. I'm turning
away from it. This is not what I want within my soul. It means that you recognize the unforgiveness. You stop excusing it. You agree with God that that's not what you want. And then secondly, and lastly, you need to choose the action of forgiving and releasing the person that is hurt or offended you. You say, well, pastor, I want to. I just don't feel it. You don't have to feel anything. Obedience isn't driven by feeling. Obedience
is driven by obedience. The feelings come afterwards. And so some of you are confusing a feeling of forgiveness with the act of forgiveness. I need to take the action of saying, God, I have held this person in debtors prison. They have hurt me. And so I felt like you owed me this. I'm angry, resentful, bitter against what you've done because it it hurt me so bad. Forgiveness is saying it did hurt me. It was bad. I've had to overcome it. It's taken a long time. But I
no longer hold you in debtors prison. I open up the door, debtor's prison and I release you from it. I release you from the payment that I felt like you owed me. And I'll say you owe me nothing, I release you. Not because you deserve it, but because God has forgiven me. I want nothing in my soul that contaminates my heart. And so I set you free. You now owe me nothing, and I. I demand no emotional payment or suffering on my part from you. I've
released you and there is a declaration. There is a verbal. I release this person from what they've done. You. You say it before God. You say, God, help me to walk in that forgiveness. Because oftentimes if you still have a relationship with that person, every time they say something or something else comes up, it feels like you have to release them again and again and again. Some of you, these people are dead and gone, and you may need
to release them even though they're dead and gone. But there is a necessity if you're going to move forward in the joy of God, that you forgive those that have hurt you.
You're listening to Bold Steps with our Bible teacher, Mark Jobe. Today's message on the trap of unforgiveness can be found in shared any time by going to our website, Bold Steps. Now Mark, next time we'll hear a message titled The Power of the blessing as we head into Father's Day weekend.
Yeah, Father's Day weekend is right around the corner, and I have a little tradition at our church. We've been doing it for probably the last five years or so. We actually I preach with my son Josiah. Some of our listeners know that my son is graduate from Moody Bible Institute, by the way, and him and I preach together on this topic of Father's Day. That's great. And
it's great to have a multi-generational perspective. And when I first started to do this, he was not a father, but now he has three boys.
Oh, he's so much wiser now. Oh, yeah. Three under.
Three. So now it's not just theory. Now it's reality.
Well, the message is called The Power of the blessing. And, uh, team taught by Mark and Josiah Jobe. So that'll be fun to hear on bold steps. Uh, Mark, while you're here, something else I'd like to share with our listeners is how this month, only when they give to bold steps, we'll be happy to send a copy of our bold step gift. Lies, boys. Believe.
Yes. So if you're raising boys right now, especially between the ages of 8 to 12, you have the great responsibility and privilege to speak into their life and identity. A lot of boys these days are being pumped with a lot of lies, and so lies. Boys believe. I think if you're a parent raising boys right now, this would be a great book.
Or a grandparent.
Yes, or a grandparent as well.
And unlike traditional books that may not hold a boy's attention, Lies, Boys believe, is specifically designed with young men in mind, filled with engaging illustrations. And there are some fun puzzles, interactive challenges, and graphic elements that appeal to boys visual learning style. This book makes discovering truth and adventure rather than a chore. This thoughtfully crafted, bold step gift will
keep boys engaged while imparting life changing biblical wisdom. And today, we'd love to send you a copy when you give a gift to support this ministry. Just go to Bold Steps org or call us at 800. That's (800) 356-6639. You can also send your gift in the mail and request the book. Write to us at bold steps. 820 North LaSalle Boulevard, Chicago, Illinois 606 ten. I'm Wayne Shepherd, inviting you to join us again tomorrow for the beginning of
Mark's lesson called The Power of the blessing. Don't miss this special Father's Day message coming up Thursday on Bold Steps with Mark John. Bold steps is a production of Moody Radio, a ministry of Moody Bible Institute.