Today on bold steps with Mark job. We're learning to obey authority.
The way that your children learn to submit and obey and follow rules will affect every area of their life, and ultimately, they will also respond to God. Unless they learn how to receive authority, they will spend the rest of their life rebelling and fighting and never submitting and usually spiraling out of control.
Welcome to Bold Steps with Mark Jobe, president of Moody Bible Institute and the senior pastor, New Life Community Church in Chicago. I'm Wayne Shepherd. We've been working our way through the book of Ephesians with our series Mark, and today we arrive at chapter six.
Yeah, in chapter six is just a powerful reminder both to children and to parents that your children need boundaries. And it's early on in life that they start learning some of the big lessons that carry over into our adult life, like how to respond to God's authority, how to come under authority, how to lead. Uh, these are crucial, formative years. And God has a lot to say about parenting.
Yeah, we're going to get into it today here again, Ephesians chapter six. Let's get started. Our message from Mark the power of role parenting on bold steps.
You know, it's challenging to be a parent, isn't it? When my daughter was born, the thing about it is she did not come with an instruction manual. I mean, or if she did, I missed it. I was there at the birth, and when she came out, it was like, I have a daughter, I have a daughter. I thought she was a boy. First of all, she was going to be a boy. And so when they said, it's a girl, I said, it's a girl. My wife was kind of under drugs. Uh, you know that they give
at birth. Not regular drugs, just birth drugs.
And she says a girl.
And I'm like a girl. Okay. And there was, like, a switch of gears, like, you know, I had spent the entire pregnancy saying, hey, champion. Hey, buddy. How you doing? I'm going to come out and we're going to pal around together. When was a girl that just changed gears? It was like, hey, don't look at my girl. I know it was real protective, but there was no instruction manual. And I remember feeling this feeling of, wow, I hope I don't mess her up. I mean, I hope I
know how to be a good parent. I hope that when they first gave her to me, they said, you may cut the umbilical cord. I'm like, uh, okay, I'll cut it. But, you know, I don't want to cut too close. I may cut something off that I shouldn't cut off. And so and then they said, okay, you can hold her now. And I remember saying, well, how do I hold her, though? I don't want to hold her the wrong way. Just because I was a new parent,
I didn't know. It only took me a few months and I was holding her this way, this way, this way. I mean, I got used to it, became an expert. When you're a new parent, by the way, you're really insecure about how you're going to raise your kids and your real protective of them, right? I remember our first child. We had a monitor beside their crib. We wanted to make sure that if she woke up or anything happened, we could hear. How many of you had baby monitors
besides the crib. Okay. So you'd turn up the volume. But my wife wanted it so high. I would wake up thinking there was a dragon in the room, because I'd hear it was just my baby sleeping. The volume was so high. By the time our third one came around, we turned it off. He can cry what he wants. He needs to get used to sleeping on his own. You know, you kind of. You become a little bit more used to. You're not as protective as like, he'll
make it. He can cry himself to sleep. But children aren't always easy to raise, in part because we're imperfect people. So therefore imperfect people trying to raise little lives. Sometimes we have our challenges. I heard of one father who was scolding his young son for not doing his homework, and his nine year old son said, well, if I just had a computer, it would be much easier. The father said, you don't need a computer when Abraham Lincoln
was your age. He studied by candlelight in a log cabin. This was a smart boy. So he responded. And when he when and when he was your age, he was the president of the United States. So you gotta you gotta watch it. Because these kids are pretty smart these days. But today I want to begin reading in verse six of Ephesians chapter six, it says, children, obey your parents
in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment, with a promise that it may go well with you, and that you may enjoy long life on earth. Fathers, do not exasperate your children. Instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. There's only four verses here this morning, but these are power packed verses that I want to focus on for the remaining time that we have. I
want to start out just by. If you're taking notes, write this down understanding the power of your rule number one. A son or daughter's attitudes towards parents will affect the quality and the longevity of their life. It says children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. I looked up the word children there because I wanted to make sure what we were talking about, what age group we were talking about. And I discovered that this really is not talking to small children. It really the
translation says offspring obey your parents in the Lord. And so I started to think, well, how old does someone have to be to continue to fall under the category of having to obey your parents? Now we understand that a four year old is supposed to obey their parents. We understand that a 12 year old is supposed to obey their parents. What about an 18 year old? 21 year old. What about a 25 year old? What about a 40 year old? I mean, when does it stop?
Is this only for children under the age of 12, or does this go all the way up into your 50, 60, 70? Okay. Good question. It refers to offspring and so it's not age related. However, the latter part of this verse helps explain the first part of this verse, because the first part of this verse says, children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. And then it goes on to say, honor your father and mother. So there is a point of transition that we go from merely
obeying to honoring. The word honor means that we give weight. The literal word in the Greek means that we give weight to something. In other words, we give value to something. The opposite of honor is to take lightly. Someone says something and you just kind of dismiss it. You take it lightly. Honor means you take it seriously, that you give value to something. That when someone gives you their opinion, you, you, you really value it. And it's an important weight in you.
You you add value to the way you treat them. you take them seriously and the way you approach them and talk to them and deal with them, that's what it means. To honor those is a point in our life where we transition from obedience to honoring. What is that point? Well, the Bible's not very clear and specific about that point. However, I think there are some principles found in Scripture that can help us there. It refers to offspring. So therefore, here's how I would break it down.
As long as you are living in your parents household and financially dependent upon your parents, you live under their household and you are financially dependent upon your parents, then probably you fall into the category of obeying your parents. Once you become independent and out of the household, financially independent, living on your own, then you transition to the Into the category of honoring your parents, which means you no longer have to obey them, but you have to honor them.
So yeah, some of you are thinking through that right now. So exactly. So if you are 18 years old right now and you couldn't wait to turn 18 so you could tell your mom and dad, hey, I'm 18 now. I have no curfew. I can kind of do. I'm not a kid anymore. Then I'm going to ask you to pause and think a second. As long as you're under your parents roof, as long as they're paying the bills. As long as you're financially dependent upon them. Whose household
is that? That's Mom and Dad's household. And as long as you're in Mom and Dad's household and dependent on them and financially dependent on them, then you follow their rules because it's their household. You say, well, pastor, I'm 40 years old. I'm still living at home, still depend on my parents. Well, then you need to get a job and get a life, sir, because it's about time you start supporting your parents and not living off your parents. Okay.
So as long as you're there now, if you want independence, I run into this all the time. I run into a 21 year old that's living at their household and is at odds with their parents because they're saying, hey, I'm 21, I can drink, I can do whatever I can, you know, go in the basement, I can smoke a little whatever I want to smoke, I can drink, have my friends over party because I'm 21. You can't tell me anything. And I'm saying, listen, as long as you're
part of your parents household, you're under their roof. You're financially dependent upon them. Then you are still under the obligation to obey them because it is their house, their rules, their household. If you're grown up enough to live on your own, then go live on your own. You know how many kids have gone on to live on their own, and in four months they're back knocking at their the door. Mom, can I move in? Uh, why are you back? I couldn't pay my rent, and I realized I had a
lot better at home than it had over here. And life's expensive. And my. My laundry's piled up. I've lost £10 because there's no food in the refrigerator, and they're back at home. Listen, parents, if it's your household, you set the rules in your household and listen. The directive here is towards the children. He's not addressing parents. Paul is actually addressing children or young adults. And he's saying, listen, you are to obey your parents. That means you may
feel like I have an opinion of my own. My parents aren't always right. And it's true. Your parents aren't always right. You say, well, I'm smarter than my parents. It may be true. Maybe you're smarter. Maybe you think you're smarter. You may say, well, my parent doesn't even come to church, doesn't even read the Bible, doesn't even follow God. The Bible is clear about that. It's not a conditional if you have great, perfect parents, then obey them.
The Bible simply says, children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. In essence, what you're doing is God is calling you as a child. As a young adult, God is saying, I've put an authority over you. The authority of your household is your parents. This is not a democracy. This is not a let's all vote on it and see what we want. This is actually yeah, this is actually some authority placed over your life. Why? Because in the realm of there being authority, there is
also order. The time will come when you can lead, but there's a season in which you submit and obey. And unless you can learn to submit and obey, you will never learn to lead. How many of you know that?
You're listening to Bold Steps with pastor Mark Jobe. We're pausing our message for just a moment to talk a little bit about our Bold Partner program. Mark, let's explain what a bold partner accomplishes here.
Yeah. So our bold partners are people that choose to support this program on a monthly basis. It's that simple. So any dollar amount. But as people that say I'm committed enough to every month give a donation and you can automate that so you don't have to worry about sending it every month. But we're very, very grateful for bold partners. And we offer special things for our bold partners, just as incentives to say thank you.
One of those things is your book, unstuck, which you're you're signing those books right now, aren't you?
I'm in the studio signing these books right now, my hands a little tired.
But.
We continue to.
Go forward. May your hand get more tired because we need more bold partners. Yes we do. Well, Judy Krohn has joined us in the studio because, Judy, I want our listeners to understand what is accomplished when our bold partners get behind this ministry.
Well, one of the things that is accomplished are life impact through our listeners. So your gift to bold steps is really making a difference in the lives of listeners. And we're hearing back from people. We are all around the United States.
Here's Mary, for example, in Florida. My bold step is to keep reaching out to my friend in need, no matter how much she pushes away.
I love that. And here's one from Adam in Cleveland, Ohio. He said I hadn't been to church or read the Bible regularly for the last 30 years. That changed a little over a month ago. I was in a dark, deep hole spiritually, and even though I am struggling, I realize I need Jesus. God bless all of you at Moody, Adam. That is so encouraging.
Thank you Adam.
And may God bring you completely out of that dark hole.
And here's one from Cathy in Boca Raton, Florida. She says after moving to South Florida, I found myself surrounded by people of the Jewish faith and culture. I learned of their religious practices and even attended a neighborly Seder. Today I find myself working for Jewish people, planning holiday dinners for them. I have the chance to be bold by telling them about Jesus being the Passover Lamb, and how I am an adopted Jew grafted in by the
blood of Jesus. And that really resonates with me. Thank you Kathy.
Yeah, it's hard to know where to stop in sharing these, Mark, but maybe a couple of more. Do you want to read that next one? It's in front of us here.
Sure. We have another one from Pamela in Illinois. And she says, my be bold moment came in the form of saying no to my best friend from childhood. We both had moved into a rural community and started first grade together in a country school. We had sleepovers, birthday parties, bike rides, and just fun times. It all changed once we reached our junior high high school years. She opened her purse one day and offered me some marijuana. That was a defining moment. I chose to stand for my
beliefs and love for Jesus Christ. I can honestly say that I have never regretted my decision to follow Christ, rather than to give in to peer pressure. Wow, that is powerful, Pamela, and may your children, if you have them and other kids, hear this testimony as well.
And then another one here, just quickly from Linda in Hebron, Indiana. My be bold step is trying to apply the 30 days of Love to my husband during a difficult time in our marriage.
Wow. Well, this is a sample of the Ministry of Bold Steps in People's Lives, Mark, and we're so grateful for those who make it possible.
Yeah, we are so grateful for our bold partners. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And again, if you want to join our bold partner team, all you have to do, Wayne, help us out.
Go to Bold Steps radio.org, and we'd love to have you sign up as a bold partner, giving a gift of any amount to bold steps. And also, if you have a testimony, we'd love to hear that testimony that your bold testimony. Go to npr.org and click on Bold Testimonies and share your story with us. Judy. Mark, thank you very much.
You're welcome.
This timeout, a very encouraging timeout. Let's get back into Mark's message now.
I really believe unless you learn to submit and obey. And that's why the Bible is so strong about it when talking to children. Because the way that your children learn to submit and obey and follow rules will affect every area of their life. One day they will go to school and have to submit to rules of the school. One day they will have a job and being under an employer, they will have to pay taxes. They will be in some system of authority all of their lives.
And ultimately they will also respond to God unless they learn how to obey, unless they learn how to receive authority, unless they learn, they will they will spend the rest of their life rebelling and fighting and never submitting and usually spiraling out of control. Jesus, by the way, the Bible tells us was in perfect submission to the father. And Jesus said, not my will, but yours be done. When he faced the crucifixion, he didn't say, well, father,
let's negotiate here. I mean, I just don't think it's fair that I go to the cross while you're in glory. And plus, I live perfect. I mean, I have no sin. I mean, this just doesn't make sense to me. Why should I pay for someone else's sin and suffer and die? Because it's. You know, the Bible says that in Gethsemane, Jesus struggled and he said, let this cup pass from me, but not my will, but yours be done. And because Jesus was in perfect submission to the father, Jesus had
perfect authority. Jesus authority came through the submission to his God given authority. And because he was in submission to his authority, he had perfect authority. There was never a time where Jesus prayed for a person that was sick that he did not get healed. There was never a time where he touched a deaf man that did not receive his hearing. There's not a time where he touched a leper and the leopard wasn't clean. There's not a time when he expelled the demon that a demon didn't go.
Jesus had perfect authority, but he had perfect authority because he was in perfect submission to the authority of his of his father here on earth. Therefore, because he learned perfect submission, he also had perfect authority. You will never learn to lead, unless, first of all, you learn to follow. You will never have authority unless, first of all, you place yourself under authority. That's why the Bible talks so strongly about the need to obey and be under the
authority of those that God has placed over us. I started pastoring this church when I was 21 years old. That's way too young. But I believe that there's some lessons God had to teach me before I started pastoring that I needed to learn about submission and authority. And unless I had learned those lessons, I don't believe I would ever have had the authority to lead. I was 21 and leading and leading people that were double my age.
I was counseling marriages and I wasn't even married. But but, but part of the lessons that I had to learn was the lesson of submission being under authority. Listen, young men, if you're a teenager right now and you're 18 years old, listen, you will never be able to lead your household unless, first of all, you learn to submit to the leader of your household. One day you will have a family. One day you will have kids, one day you will lead a household. And you're never going to learn to lead.
Unless first of all, you learn to submit.
This is bold steps and you're listening to the Bible teaching of Mark Jobe. We'll continue this message titled The Power of Royal Parenting when we come back tomorrow. If you've missed any of the messages in this series, remember you can catch up online when you go to Bold steps.org. On our website, you can also request our current Bold Step gift and to tell you more about this month's special book. Here again is Mark with author and pastor Mike Fabares.
Well, you know, there's some sins that are easy to spot in our lives, but others, they're like hidden snipers taking shots at our spiritual health, and we don't even notice it. Right?
That's right. Yeah.
And, uh, pastor Mike Fabares, your book, envy, tackles one of these stealth sins. You call it actually a diabolical sin that's at the root of many of our problems. Tell me, pastor Mike, why this is so dangerous?
Well, it's dangerous because it can do a lot of damage. If you think about the church, I'm not the first in church history to call it a diabolical sin. It has been a foundational sin, a cardinal sin, a, you know, a root of all kinds of other sins. And yet in our generation, I just I had never read a book on it. I had never heard a sermon on it. And I realized as I went through my ministry, I see this problem springing up with a ton of different symptoms.
But the core problem is that we are envious of other people's success.
The subtitle of the book is A Big Problem You Didn't Know You Had, and I was thinking about that. Most people that I talked to, I don't know if I've ever heard of someone say, you know, my problem is I'm envious. No one ever says that. That I remember. Like, my problem is I have envy. Tell us why it's hard to self-diagnose.
Well, because I think we often justify the fact that, uh, you know, I'm just trying to move forward in life, and I'd sure like to have what he has or some gal saying, I'd like to look like she looks, or I'd like to have the influence that he has. And we think, okay, well, that's just part of our ambitious desire to do well in life. And we don't realize that it's starting to color the way we make decisions, how we view other people, how we talk about other
people behind their backs. And it really starts to just disrupt our relationships. It can ruin a small group and it can split churches. It is really an explosive sin, and we don't often identify it like we ought to.
Mike, you know, when you read scripture with this in mind, suddenly it pops up everywhere, doesn't it?
Yeah. It does. Yeah. From the very beginning in Genesis, we don't get out of the first family until we see Cain rising up to kill Abel, because he was envious of him all the way to the New Testament Gospels. It's interesting that Pilate immediately looks at this scene of the Sanhedrin and the Pharisees delivering Jesus over to be crucified. And he diagnoses the problem and he says, you guys
are envious of this man. It really is true that it's everywhere, and it is the fountainhead of all kinds of problems in our lives.
Well, let's talk more about that in the days to come. As we continue to talk with pastor Mike Fabares about his book, envy a Big problem you didn't know you had. Our bold step gift. Mike, thank you so much. And the book is yours with a gift of any amount to support this ministry. Just call us at 800 Moody. That's (800) 356-6639. Or give online at Bold Steps. And then don't forget here at Bold Steps. We love getting letters
from listeners like the one we heard earlier. And if you'd like to connect with us, be sure to write to us at Bold Steps. 820 North LaSalle Boulevard, Chicago, Illinois 606 ten. But you can also send us a message online, through our website, or through email at Bold Steps. Well, give us a call and leave your message on a recorded line by dialing (312) 329-2011. That's 312329 2011. You can also stay connected to Mark and the team throughout the
week by going to your favorite social media platform. You'll find us listed as Bold Steps Radio on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube. Full of fresh content and special video lessons you don't want to miss. And that's our time for today, but be sure to join us again tomorrow when Mark continues this message on the power of royal parenting. Learn more about the promise that comes with honoring your parents. The message comes from our series titled When You Believe
Everything Changes. So be listening Thursday to Bold Steps with Mark Jobe. Bold steps is a production of Moody Radio, a ministry of Moody Bible Institute.