Today on Bold Steps, Mark Jobe concludes a powerful message on healing from father wounds and finding your true identity in God's eyes.
A bold step is I know I've done it or I haven't done it, and it was difficult and hard. So I take a step that's difficult for me to take. But the step of obedience is in line with God, and it sets in course in motion, something that could be transformative. That's what a bold step is.
Welcome to Bold Steps with Mark Jobe. Mark is the president of Moody Bible Institute and senior pastor of New Life Community Church in Chicago. And I'm Wayne Shepherd. Today we're wrapping up our three part message called The Daughter Factor, where we've been exploring how our relationship with our earthly father shapes how we see our Heavenly Father. Even though Mark first shared this at a women's retreat, these truths really apply to anyone who struggled with father wounds or rejection.
And today, we'll discover how to break free from those harmful patterns and start seeing ourselves the way God sees us. If you missed either of the previous programs, feel free to catch up anytime at Bold steps.org. Now let's join Mark for the conclusion of The Daughter Factor.
Listen, some of you have gone to abusive relationships because you learn from your father that it was okay. You saw it in your household with your mother, and you grew up expecting. That's how a woman should be treated. And you didn't understand. No, no, that's not how a woman should be treated. If you grew up in a household where you were taught respect and and hey, you don't talk to a woman that way. You don't. You raise your hand when you were taught that you have
dignity and value. Then you know what? When you see toxicity, when you see abuse, when you see someone treat, you walk away from it. Because I'm not going to I'm not going to allow you to treat me that way because you've been taught there's a standard. That's not how you treat a woman. And so you're able to walk away from broken, toxic, toxic, abusive relationships because you have
been taught a standard of what that's like. The greatest protection for daughters to not be in abusive relationships and to be able to stand up for it, is a loving father that speaks dignity, value and worth into the heart of their daughters. I used to tell my daughter when I dropped her off in high school. She. Pretty girl, pretty cheerleader, pretty girl. Everybody was talking. Hey, your daughter is so cute. She's so pretty. And I. And she was, and she is. But I was always tell her I said,
you know. Hey, Marissa, look at me. She says, I know, I know, I'm more than a pretty face. Because I would tell her that you're more than a pretty face. You got intelligent, you got a personality, you got brains. You got there's much more than just a pretty face. You're much more than that. And I believe that when we do not fully grasp. When we have a father vacuum, there's a tendency to feel inadequate, inability to express love
to others freely and unexplained feelings. Here you go of rejection. Why do I feel when I walk into a room like the first thing that comes to my mind? Do people like me? Do I fit in? Am I dressed right? Do I talk right? Are people going to look? Some of you coming to this conference that's been your biggest issue. Do I fit in? When you're secure in who you are, you're not asking those questions as much. You're able to say, this is who I am and I know who I am and I love who I am. This is the
way God made me. And it's not about what do people think about me. Because you've already been established in your worth and your value that's been given to you by your earthly father and by your heavenly father who's spoken into your life, that you are a daughter of the Most High God. Ephesians chapter three. The Apostle Paul is telling to believers and he he's talking to people that are struggling with understanding who they are in God. And he says, and I pray that you, being rooted
and established in love may have the power. The Greek word is dunamis, which where we get the word dynamite from. That's explosive power together with all the believers to grasp how wide, how long, how high, how deep is the love of Christ. And to know this love that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled to the fullness of the measure of God. You know what he's saying? He's saying, I want you to experience not just head knowledge about
the love of God. I want you to. I want it to so saturate you that you can't explain it, but you know you're walking in it. The height, the depth, the love of God that you can't explain. But you know it's yours. There's something transformative about the love of God. It it speaks to your identity. It shapes your heart. It allows you to worship. It means that a word of. It means that someone's, uh, insensitive word doesn't send you in a spiral for a week. I'm talking to someone.
All it takes is one insensitive conversation. And you have to go to two therapy groups. Because one insensitive conversation just knocks you over so badly because you don't know who you are. Yet in God, you haven't perceived how loved you are, how solid you are, how forgiving you are, what it means to be a daughter of the Most High God, because when you walk in that someone can give you a insensitive comment and you say, I know who I am, I'm loved, I'm cherished, I'm valued, I
have dignity, worth. I have the name of Christ sealed upon me. I have a destiny and a future, and it's determined by my God, not by what someone else says to me. In the Apostle Paul is praying that they would understand the power of the love of God that's been lavished upon them. And he says, you know. And he explains that to them. And why can't women
experience the love of the father? Well, oftentimes it's the same reason that men can't experience the love of the father because we haven't fully understood the father and that we are his children. And so there's several things that affect us. One, if fill in the blank here Your experiences that have allowed lies to be planted. Experiences that have allowed lies to be planted. I'll never forget early in my pastorate, I started pastoring when I was 21 years old 21. I had to go back and apologize
to everybody that I pastored when I was 21. Say sorry. I didn't know what I was doing. Sorry. Forgive me. I was just a kid. But I'll never forget early on talking to a girl that was inconsolable because her boyfriend had broken up with her. Inconsolable. And I started talking to her about her boyfriend. And I found out he was abusive. Physically, verbally. He was no good. And I said, hey, I'm so glad you broke up. And she says, you should be jumping for joy right now. Seriously,
I'm so glad you broke up. And this is what she taught. I never forgot she was 19 or 20 years old and she said, I'm going to be alone all my life. I said, you're 19. Can I tell you something? There's something deeper there. And as I started talking to her, I realized there was a deeper. It was an abandonment. I don't I don't I'm not worthy to be loved. There's something wrong with me. If someone really got to know me, they would reject me. That's
not something you make up in your mind. That's something that traumatic abandonment creates in your persona. And that's what she was wrestling with. The lies of abandonment of her father that made her feel like there's something wrong with me that my father would leave me. And every man that gets to know me will also walk away when they get to know me. That was a lie from
the pit of hell. And that kind of lie causes you out of desperation to get into relationships that are toxic, abusive, that are unhealthy and cause us to tolerate, embrace, and live with them as though they were normal. Experiences that have allowed lies to be planted. Rejection, abuse or neglect that has opened up the doors to lies. Number three spiritual oppression that is created strongholds of lies. You know, the Bible tells us that the language of God is truth.
The language of the enemy is lies. He's the accuser of the brethren. And I believe that there are strongholds, sometimes spiritual strongholds, that are created within our being because of these lies. And number four, a father or husband, male authority figure that has already betrayed, disappointed, thereby creating the lie of distrust. You know, Romans chapter eight says this. It says, because those who are led by the Spirit
of God are sons and daughters of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave to fear, but you received the spirit of sonship, and by him you cry, ABBA, father. The spirit of a daughter is the spirit of slavery, is shame based, fear driven, and fear empowered. That's how that's how slaves operate. The spirit of a daughter is grace based, love driven, Holy Spirit and power.
You're listening to Bold Steps with Marc Job. We'll continue today's message in a moment. But first, Marc, I want to talk about something that's become a growing concern within Christian leadership circles. Our world is going through a whirlwind, pretty dramatic developments and changes, not just here in America but around the globe. And we need to remind ourselves, as Christians, we have a much higher calling than any political movement, don't we.
Wayne? Turn on the news. And there is drama all over the place.
From rumors of wars to economic crisis to actualization to actual wars that are happening to bombings, and it is easy to get distracted by all this, worried by it, anxious by it, sort of sucked into it. But here's what I want to say. This is a great time for the good news of Jesus Christ and the hope of the gospel. Amen. There are a lot of people coming to Christ throughout the world, and you may not hear about it because there's other news That is prominent
and is taking people's attention. But there is an undercurrent of a harvest evangelism, and that's what we're all about right now, is a moment where people are shaken, where there's concern. But there are so many people that are turning to the heavens, and we at Bold Steps have determined we will not miss that moment. And so we are asking you to partner with us, help us out, because right now is a great time to be calling people to Jesus.
We urge you to give online at Bold Steps. Org or you can call us. The number is 800. D.L. Moody and that works out to be (800) 356-6639. And when you do give, we'll be sure to send you a special gift which will tell you more about later in the program today. Well, thank you for that, Mark. But let's get back to our message now here on bold steps, the daughter factor.
You know, I have on stage a mirror. For some of you. It's your enemy. For others, it's your obsession. But here's what I want to tell you. When. When you don't walk in the love of the father. On your worst days. On your bad days. When you look at the mirror. You see rejected. Fill in the words. Unworthy, fat, ugly, old. Too young. When you look at the mirror, you see something that you don't like. Labels all over you. But
I want you to know that. when you look through the father's eyes and he sees it, he sees you, he says. He says, daughter forgiven dignity. Worth called, filled with me. Look like me, destined with me, washed, cleansed. Loved. Obsessively. Chased by the father. No one could take away the value. You see, that's what the father sees. And he speaks it over you. And it's going to take a while for you, some of you to see yourself like the
father sees you in Jesus. But my prayer is that the father vacuum or the mother vacuum that you experience that's created so many lies will start to be changed by the renewing of your mind. I want you to ask yourself this question. What is the cycle that I need to break for me? If you're a parent or maybe going to be a parent for my kids, what is the unhealthy way of thinking behavior cycle pattern that
I've accepted as normal? But God is telling me, like Megan said, you're in the freefall and say, no, stop. It's not normal. The lady that was bent over for many years, 18 years, she learned to accept in the Bible. She learned to accept living like that until she encountered Jesus. And Jesus said, that's not the way I created you. Stand up. About three months ago, uh, who's here from Little Village? Anybody here from little village? Little village. Okay.
A few of you. It's mainly Spanish, and so not a lot, but But but several months ago, Little Village was having a gathering and a joint gathering, and they went. They couldn't fit everybody in one place. So they rented a nightclub called Los Lobos. Somebody's like, oh, pastor, I know that place. It's like a pretty seedy nightclub, actually. Like a nightclub. Nightclub? Pastor Paco actually asked me to come and speak there. So I preached in Spanish and
he translated in English. And I felt like at the end, I needed to call couples forward. That had gotten used to living in a way that wasn't with God, that I said, you know, if you're living together and you're not married and you've just gotten used to it, or if you're sleeping every weekend with your boyfriend or girlfriend and gotten used to it, God's calling you to live a different way. He's teaching you a different way and saying,
you know, get that right. And so I so I said, I'm going to call you forward if if you know that it's wrong and you want to change it, take a bold step. And so there were, I think, 11 couples that came forward. And the crazy thing is they they looked at the crowd like this instead of going like this, they all looked. And I said, some of you have been living this way for such a long time. You've just gotten used to it. It's your way of life. And one lady was going like this. I said, how
long are you living with your boyfriend? Are you standing next to her? She said mm. I said, how long? She said 17 years. And I said, are you ready to take a bold step? They said, yes, we're starting pre-marital counseling classes next week. Guess what we're doing. Hold on. I love this. Guess what we're doing? Pastor Paco invited me to come, and we're doing a wedding for seven of those couples. That's happening tomorrow. Seven of those couples
are getting married tomorrow. You know why? Because they. They got used to a certain way of living, and they had to be awakened by an encounter with Jesus to say, you know, we're used to this way, but it's not God's way. Some of you came to this encounter retreat, and you're used to living the way you're living. You're used to it. And God is saying, that's not how I created you. That's not who you are. Wake up
and start living a different way. You got to take a step, a bold step, to live as women of the Most High God. And so I want you to identify what is the cycle that you're breaking. But listen, it's not going to break by itself. You have to determine what is the bold step of obedience that you're going to take. What's the bold step God's asking you to take? Listen, if it were easy, you would have done it a long time ago. I don't know what your bold step is. It may be finally writing a
letter to your dad. You say, well, pastor, he passed away. It doesn't matter. And saying I release you. Hey, can we get real here? It may be going back to your boyfriend that you're living with and saying. You know what? I discovered at this retreat? I'm a woman of God. My body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. And so I'm not going to live anymore like this. I'm going to it's either a ring on my finger or I'm out of here. Even though it's difficult and you
just make a decision. Hey, it may be joining a Celebrate Recovery group because you know what? You've tried to so, so deaden the pain of this for so long that now you can't get rid of the cannabis that you do every other day. And you, when you go to church, you try to. I love my wife. We keep driving through places and she says, it smells like skunk. I'm like. There's not that many skunks around. Honey, this is like, straight up. She's always like, it smells like skunk. I
said no, no, no, not skunk. Sorry. So some of you, when you come to church, you smell like skunk, you know? But hey, hey, it's time to stop smelling like skunk and just say, you know what? I'm going to Jesus with this. I'm not going to go to addictions. I'm not going to overeat. I'm not going to over drink. I'm not. Listen, some of you, for the first time in your life, need to say I am complete as a single woman in Jesus. I don't have to have
a man to make me feel valuable. If God leads me to a relationship, it'll be a healthy one, but not driven out of panic or the sense that I'm not complete and full as a woman because God loves me. And standing in that is going to be a new step for you. Listen, some of you need to get baptized. You felt so unworthy. Even you gave your life to Christ, but you've never gotten baptized because you feel like I'm unworthy. Some of you need to give your life to Jesus.
Some of you need to say, I'm going to be used of God. I don't know what your bold step is, but let me tell you what a bold step is not. I'm going to become a better person. That's a wish, not a bold step. I'm going to get up. Think better thoughts about the universe. That's a wish, not a bold step. A bold step is. I know I've done it or I haven't done it. And it was difficult and hard. So I take a step that's difficult for
me to take. But this step of obedience is in line with God, and it sets in course, in motion, something that could be transformative. That's what a bold step is. So you're going to break up into your small groups, and you're going to determine what is the cycle that I'm breaking, what is the bold step that I'm taking, and what is the legacy that I'm starting to make? How am I going to change my destiny instead of living?
Living how I've lived, thinking it's normal. Awakening to a new God, normal in my life.
That's smart job on bold steps, a message titled The Daughter Factor and Mark. I know just as that audience. Many listeners today have been touched by these truths about seeing themselves through God's eyes rather than through that lens of past hurts.
And I have to tell you, at the end of that message, there were so many women that took bold steps and responded, and just an amazing time. And maybe God is speaking to your life as well through this. I want you to pause and ask yourself, is there a bold step that you need to take? Is there a cycle that you've been repeating over and over that you need to break? And what is the legacy that God is asking you to make or create? This will
be powerful. And by the way, if you're struggling to just try to live in the identity that God has called you to. We have just put out a devotional booklet based off of some of the messages that I've done, called More Than a Label Discovering Who You Are in Christ. It's a 15 day devotional that helps you start to tackle identity issues in a God given way.
Get your own copy of this new resource. It is brand new. More than a label discovering who you are in Christ. You can go through this no matter your age and whether you're a teen, a parent, or a grandparent. This study will help you embrace your true identity in Christ and understand the purpose God has given you for your life. So don't miss out on this devotional. More than a Label discovering who you are in Christ. It's
available at Bold Steps now. Mark, before we go today, I want to take a look at where we're going tomorrow. You're beginning a timely new message called attitudes That Divide Us.
And I don't think that needs a lot of explanation, but we live in a time that we are super divided politically, economically, racially. And, um, this will address that issue as believers in Jesus Christ, even though people around us in the body of Christ may have some differing opinions. We need to make sure that the Kingdom of God is what unites us, and deal with the attitudes that divide us.
Well, that is coming up on tomorrow's bold steps. But in case you can't join us, then let me remind you you can always revisit these messages online at Bold steps.org, or by listening to the Bold Steps app or even our Bold Steps podcast on our website, you'll also find a powerful resource that perfectly complements today's message about father daughter relationships and identity. Our current Bold Step gift addresses
the critical foundation years for young girls. It's a book called Lies Girls Believe by Dana Gresh, and it tackles the harmful misconceptions that can shape a girl's identity during her formative years from I need to Be Perfect, to be loved to My worth is based on what others think of me. Dana exposes 12 dangerous lies and replaces them with God's truth. This beautifully designed book speaks directly to girls ages 7 to 12, in a way that they can understand and embrace. What better way to equip
young girls in your life? Develop a healthy identity based on who God says they are? Get your copy of Lies Girls Believe when you support bold steps with a gift of any amount. It's our way of partnering with you to invest in the next generation. Just go online to Bold steps.org or call us at 800. That's (800) 356-6639. You can also send your gift and request the book in the mail by writing to us at bold steps.
820 North LaSalle Boulevard, Chicago, Illinois 60,006 ten. I'm Wayne Shepherd, reminding you to join us again tomorrow for Mark's new message called Attitudes That Divide Us. Listen Tuesday to Bold Steps with Mark Jobe. Bold steps is a production of Moody Radio, a ministry of Moody Bible Institute.