Today on Bold Steps with Mark Jobe. We're learning to step up and into our calling.
And what God is saying is that nothing can make you happy besides me. So if you pray with the wrong motives, then God's not going to answer your prayer because you're substituting your answer for prayer as your fulfillment for God.
And welcome to Bold Steps with Mark Jobe, president of Moody Bible Institute and the senior pastor of New Life Community Church in Chicago. Well, Mark, you've said before that most of us live well below our calling from God and that the impact most of us could have on others really should be much greater.
Yes, absolutely. And oftentimes the main issue is our attitude. Our attitude has to do with our mindset towards life, towards others and towards God. As we jump into this passage, there's three main questions that we're answering. What is the real source of our bad attitude? Why do spiritual people get stuck in negative cycles of bad attitudes? And how do we step up to our new attitude?
All right, well, this begins a new series today entitled Step Up Living Higher. Here's Mark Jobe with today's bold steps.
I believe that attitude is one of the key factors that determine how we live our life, and how we see our world. I believe that attitude can literally make you or break you. Your attitude has to do with the way you perceive the world and how you choose to see your world. Attitude affects everything. How about it? Have you ever run into a person with a bad attitude? Come on, we all have. I'm not going to ask you to raise your hand if you're one of those
people with a bad attitude. Maybe you wake up in the morning, look at yourself in the mirror, and you know you have a bad attitude. Most of us, if we have a bad attitude and we all do have days where we have a bad attitude. And so I wanted to say, why do you have a bad attitude? Most of us tend to blame our bad attitude on someone else, on our circumstances, on on some other person, on some other thing. You say, well, why do you have a bad attitude? Well, you know, you know my husband,
he's just aggravating me lately. Why do you have a bad attitude? My boss boy, he's just on me, and I just. Why do you have a bad attitude? You know, the economy, the bills. I just we tend to blame our attitude On other people and on other things. But here's what I want you to to understand today, and I want you to debunk the myth of your attitude is a result of somewhere else. I want you to hear me well. Your attitude is absolutely, 100% unequivocally your choice.
You are the determining factor of what attitudes you have or don't have. No one can dictate your attitude but you. You are responsible for your attitude. I love what, um. Victor Frank, a concentration camp survivor, said everything can be taken from a man. But one thing to choose one's attitude in any given set of Circumstances and he was a concentration camp survivor. You determine your attitude. So I want you to turn in your Bibles to James chapter four.
I'm going to begin reading in verse four of James chapter four, and I'm going to ask you to stand briefly with me as I read the word. James asked this question. What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something, but you don't get it. You kill, you covet. But you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and you fight and do not have because you do not
ask God. He goes on to tell us when you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with the wrong motives That you may spend what you get on your pleasures, you adulterous people. Don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred towards God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. Or do you think that scripture says without reason, that the spirit he caused to live, live in us envies
intently the Word of God? You may be seated. So as we talk about attitudes, I want to answer three questions. The first question I want to answer is what is the real source of our bad attitudes? The second question is, why do spiritual people get stuck in negative cycles of bad attitudes? And the third question is this how do I step up to my new attitude? So let's start with the first question what is the real source of bad attitudes? James says, what causes fights and quarrels among you.
What causes you to fight and quarrel? What causes the conflicts that are among you? He says, don't they come from the desires that battle within you? You see, the real source of bad attitudes is not the people around us. It's not our boss, our spouse, our parents. It's not the system. The real source of our bad attitude is what? What James tells us is this. That you and I have desires in our heart. We want things. We have dreams. We have desires. We have areas that we want fulfilled
in our lives. And so we have desires that we're pursuing. And when someone comes into our life that makes it feel like they're keeping us from what we want or what we need. Then we become angry at the person that we feel is keeping us from the desires that we really want. For example, you could be a have a 11 or 12 year old son or daughter at home and they want to grow up. They want to feel free. They want to feel like I'm no longer
a little kid. I'm a grown up little adult. And so when their parent says, no, you can't do this, and no, you can't watch Rated-r movies. And no, you can't spend six hours on your Xbox every day. And no, you can't be unsupervised out there. Then they start getting angry at their parents because what they want is freedom and liberty, and they feel like Mom and dad are saying, no, no, no,
you can't. So then they cop an attitude towards their parents because they feel like all I want to do is feel free and you're keeping me from that freedom. How many parents know what I'm talking about? How many of you have 12 or 13 year olds that have perfected the rolling of the eyes? How many of you want to say, is there something wrong with your eyes? Why? Because they perceive that I want to grow up and you're not letting me grow up. So since you're not
letting me grow up, I'm angry towards you. I have an attitude towards you. And how many parents have come to me and say, I don't know what's happening with my teen? They always have an attitude. Or maybe you're a married woman, and all your life you've felt like what you want to be is you just want to feel loved, appreciated, value. And when you were single, you finally found that man that you thought would meet your dreams.
That man that would treat you like a lady. That man that cared about how you were feeling, that man that protected you and watched over you. And you remember how you felt in the early days. You felt so special and loved and cared for and valued, and you thought, finally, I'm going to be happy. And then somewhere down the road of marriage, it seemed like that man that was watching out and taking care and looking out and made
you feel special, that they got distracted. And now they were into their jobs and other things, and suddenly you started feeling like, hey, I'm here still. You know what's going on? And kids came and payments and car payments and mortgage payments and responsibilities, and then suddenly all you want is to be happy, feel loved, and that person that was making you feel loved no longer is making you feel loved. And so then suddenly you feel like you are keeping me from what I want. I want
to feel loved. I want to feel valued. But you're no longer valuing me. So there's an attitude, an anger or resentment. You are no longer making me feel valued. So I'm angry at you because I want something. And you are standing in the way of me getting the one thing that I want. James says that quarrels and fights.
Are birthed out of unfulfilled desires. The real problem is unfulfilled desires that cause frustration and anger towards those things, or people that you believe are holding you back from your fulfillment. Persistent bad attitudes are nurtured in the cradle of filth, of filling our life outside of God. James goes on to say that you want something, but you don't get it. How many of you know that you don't? You don't always get what you always want when you
want it. Just a big life lesson. You don't always get everything you want right when you want it. Just part of life. Life is not that way. It doesn't always happen. James says you want something, but you don't get it. And so he says, you kill and you covet. You say, well, I'm not a murderer, but how many
of you know there's different ways of killing? That Jesus said, if you hate someone, that you have already become a murderer in your own heart because you you hate that person and want damage, you've killed them in your heart. And sometimes we become so angry at people and things, and we can't compartmentalize our anger. If you get angry at your husband and you're resentful and full of anger at him, your bad attitude is going to splash over to your children and in your job and in your
other relationships. Because you cannot contain a bad attitude towards one person, your bad attitude will spill over into other areas of your life as well.
This is Bold Steps with pastor Mark Jobe reported in our message for just a moment to talk a little bit about our Bold Partner program. Mark, we're so appreciative of listeners who give faithfully to bold steps. It really does help a great deal in the production and distribution of this program. I want to especially thank those listeners who give at a level of $30 or more each month. We're grateful for every gift, but for those who give $30 or more each month, there's some great benefits.
Yeah. If you give $30 or more to. Bold steps, then you get a significant discount. I believe it's.
50%.
50%. That's a huge discount. And we have some just great books coming out every single month.
I'm astounded at the productivity of Moody Publishers, and the titles they release every month are incredible.
They really are. And I'm holding some books in my hand right now that I'm thinking, man, I want to read these. For example, Becky Harling has a six week study for The Anxious Heart called The Extraordinary Power of Praise. A lot of people could read that, or the four Habits of Raising joy filled kids. A lot of parents want to get that one. Here's another interesting one. It's called the visual word. And this is illustrated outlines of
New Testament books. And this is a big one with a lot of photos and pictures.
Fantastic. Yeah.
Or Sky gilani's. What if Jesus was serious about prayer or questioning Christianity. Is there more to the story? I mean, these are some phenomenal books that you get at 50% discount.
The entire catalog is available to our listeners at a 50% discount. If you become a monthly donor to Bold steps at $30 a month or more, and it's easy to do that. Sign up online at Bold Steps. Org right there on the homepage you'll see the Become a Bold Partner Today link. Click on that and we'd love to have you join this team of bold partners who listen to this program. All right Mark, thank you. Let's return to your message. Step up to a higher attitude.
So he says you kill and you covet, but you cannot have what you want. Listen, you quarrel and you fight. Most tension that exists in marriages that I've talked to are because the spouse is looking for something and feeling like their spouse is holding them back from it. Oftentimes what a woman is looking for is love and a sense of value and worth. And when she doesn't get
it from her husband, then she resents it. Oftentimes, a man is looking for respect, and when he doesn't get it from his wife, then he begins to resist it as well. And many of the fights in that, that are in marriages revolve around those things. So he says, you quarrel and you fight. Listen, you do not have because you do not ask God. James is saying that you have a bad attitude because you can't get what
you want. And when you can't get what you want, you start getting angry that you don't have what you want because you need it. You want it, and you feel like if I don't have this in my life, I can't be happy. And so you get angry at people and angry at circumstances, and you carry that anger around with you, and it creates a bad attitude in
your life. And so you're you're slamming doors and kicking the dog, and you just you're cranky and crabby and people are saying, what's wrong with you because you want something and you can't have it. And so you're unhappy and you're angry at different people. And James says, you don't have this in your life because you're not coming to God. You're trying to get it from other people, but you're not asking God. You're not going to God and saying, God, I need this and you are the
one that needs to fill me. Here's what he says. I want you to understand that persistent bad attitude is nurtured in the cradle of filling our lives outside of God. We quarrel and fight, but don't come to God, our true source, and humbly ask him. I want you to know this today. If you have a bad attitude, you're grumpy, you're grouchy, you're negative, you're critical. You just have this bad attitude towards life. You can blame other people and
blame your circumstances. Blame your mother, father, your husband, your wife, your kids, your boss. The economy, the government, city hall, the IRS. There's a lot of people to blame. But ultimately, you are the one responsible for your attitude. And when you don't have what you want and can't get what you want, God says, have you tried looking to me?
Look to the source of what you really need. I believe that God, that most people are looking to fill their lives with something that only God can give them. I believe that there's many people in life that are trying to get something from someone, but haven't realized that only God can fill the vacuum of their heart. Plato said, there's a God shaped vacuum in every person's life. There's
a part of you that only God can fill. And maybe your husband, he could be the perfect husband and give you flowers often, and write you notes and encourage you and try to value you and try to appreciate you. But ultimately, that would never fill a vacuum that only God can fill. There's a part of your heart that no man, no woman, no job, no promotion, no finances, nothing can fill but God himself. And God says you want, but you don't have. But you never you have not
asked me. And some may say, well, pastor, I did ask God, and I have come to God. And so James answers that question, why do spiritual people get stuck in negative cycles. Look at what he says in verse three. When you ask, when you ask God, you do not receive because you ask with the wrong motives. So some of you are asking God. He says, but you're coming to God with the wrong motives when you ask. That you may spend what you get on your own pleasures.
He says, some of you feel like you're being held back from what you want, and so you come to God and you say, God, please give me what I want. Please, Lord, give me what I want. Please, I need it. Please, Lord, open up the door. And he says, and you're not receiving. And God's not answering your prayer, partly because you're asking for the wrong motives. You're saying, oh, Lord, I really
need this job promotion. Oh, God, I really need it. Oh, Lord, if you would open those doors, First of all, you got angry because you felt people were keeping you back. Then you came to God and you said God opened the doors. If I could only get that $20,000 raise, Lord. If that could get that, then all my problems would be solved. Oh, God. Please. But God is saying you ask and you do not receive because your motives are wrong.
You're not asking to get that raise and to get those so that you can pay your bills and be generous and live in a place you're asking so that you can get it, so that you can get that extra money just to spend on yourself and just to to satisfy yourself, thinking that that's going to fill you, but it never will. How many of you know you can ask even pray with wrong motives? God doesn't always answer our prayer because sometimes our prayers the worst thing.
If God were to answer, it would be the worst thing for you. I've had people come up to me and say, look, pastor, I'm praying that that that girl over there would be my wife And I know the girl. I'm thinking, oh boy, if you only knew you'd be thanking God for not answering your prayer. Sometimes what we pray for would be the worst thing for us because we're really not asking, oh, God, is this what you
want for me? Is this the best for me? Can I serve you better, glorify you better, follow you better. We're asking. I want it because I think it'll make me happy. And what God is saying is that nothing can make you happy besides me. So if you pray with the wrong motives, if you pray with the wrong motives, then God's not going to answer your prayer because you're substituting your answer for prayer as your fulfillment for God.
And so he says, you pray and you don't get an answer to your prayer because you ask with the wrong motives so that you could spend on your pleasures, he says to. These people, you adulterous people. And here's what I want you to understand. Spiritual adultery is the pursuit of fulfillment and happiness outside of God's plan and covenant. He says, you adulterous people, do you not know that friendship with the world is hatred towards God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an
enemy of God. What does this mean? Well, he's not talking about not having friends in the world. He's not talking about you can't have friends outside of the church. That's not what this verse says. Jesus tells us we are to be in the world, but not of the world. He's saying friendship with the world system. When you try to get your happiness from other things instead of pursuing God, God says you're committing spiritual adultery.
This is bold steps. You're listening to the Bible teaching of Mark job, and today's message is titled Stepping up to a Higher Attitude. We'll continue with part two of this lesson when we come back tomorrow. If you missed any portion today, or if you'd like to catch up on a previous message from Mark, you can do that online at Bold Steps. Org. There you'll also discover a wide variety of other faith building resources, including this month's Bold Step gift. In times like these, it's natural to
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And that's the end of today's program. But join us again tomorrow when we'll discover why trying to fulfill life outside of God's will just doesn't work. Our message comes from our series titled Step Up Living Higher. I'm Wayne Shepherd. Be listening Wednesday to Bold Steps with Mark Jobe. Bold steps is a production of Moody Radio, a ministry of Moody Bible Institute.