Today on Bold Steps, Mark Jobe shows us how to protect the heart of our relationships.
And the Bible says when you take a step, then God will draw near to you. He's waiting for you to draw near to him and God will meet you where you are at. That's the promise of God. As soon as you step near, God says, here I am.
Welcome to the Friday edition of Bold Steps with Mark Jobe. Mark is the senior pastor of New Life Community Church in Chicago and president of Moody Bible Institute. I'm Wayne Shepherd here at Bold Steps. We have a growing number of messages archived online, along with a variety of resources designed to help you walk on the path to freedom and authenticity in Christ. Please go online and start exploring.
You'll find us at Bold Steps. Well, today we'll continue a message Mark started yesterday called you shall not commit adultery. It's part of our series on the Ten Commandments called Rock Solid Living. And to introduce us to today's study on these ancient words for new life, here's our teacher, Mark Jobe.
And so God is speaking to the people of Israel in Jeremiah chapter three, verse six, during the king of the reign, Josiah, the Lord said to me, have you seen what faithless Israel has done? She has gone up to every hill and under every spreading tree, and has committed adultery there. God is looking at Israel and he's saying, listen, Israel claims that I'm their God, but they chase after every other God. They're pursuing every other God. I'm really
not their God. They're committing spiritual adultery, breaking the promises. I wish I had more time, but I'm going to talk to you about if your heart has committed spiritual adultery or physical adultery, what needs to happen? Listen what it says in Proverbs chapter six, verse 32 and 33. A man who commits adultery lacks judgment. Whoever does so destroys himself and disgrace are his lot, and his shame will never be wiped away. I want to talk to
you today. If you are here and you say, pastor, I gave my life to Jesus Christ, but I'm in spiritual adultery because I'm not living for God. I'm not walking for God. I am not in the middle of God's will right now. Or maybe you're here and you're you've been married, or you're getting married, or you've been married for a long time and maybe you've crossed lines
in your life. I, I want to two things I want to say, first of all, thank God that I've seen the restoring power of God move in many marriages. And I know that there is life after adultery, and God can heal and God can restore, and God can bring life back again if both parties are willing to pursue it, I believe it, I've seen it, and we have couples here that testify to that fact. But I'm convinced that a couple of things need to happen. Number one,
the journey back from adultery. There's four things that need to happen. If there has been physical or even emotional adultery that's happened in your marriage. Number one, you need to acknowledge the sin is against God and your spouse, like King David did in Psalms chapter 51. You need to acknowledge I've sinned against God and I've sinned against my spouse. Don't make excuses. Don't say why it was
his or her fault. Say I have sinned. You cannot be restored unless, first of all, you acknowledge that you've sinned and take responsibility for it. And by the way, can I just pause and say, I know I go against what some counselors would say in the secular world, but I'm going to be honest with you. Listen, if you are a married person and you have been unfaithful to your spouse, I believe in total honesty. You say, well,
pastor was ten years ago. They'll never know. I don't want to bring it up, drag it through, drag them into it. The shame, the embarrassment, the hurt. I mean, I'm embarrassed that it happened. And now you want me to drag me them through the pain and the hurt of it all? Listen, I want to tell you that I believe that God wants you to have a relationship
of intimacy with your spouse. And as long as there's dirty secrets there, as long as there is stuff in your heart that you hold and you haven't been honest about, I think it affects your current relationship. I believe that you need to confess it to God, but because you've sinned against your spouse that you need to be honest with your spouse. You say, well, pastor, I don't even
know how to do that. Well, you know, I would, I would, I would talk to someone in our ministry and have them talk you through that, because I think that you're in a covenant relationship and you cannot be right with your spouse and right with God. Some people think, well, I'm just going to confess it to God. I believe God is the start, but unless you confess it with your spouse, it hasn't gone far enough. You say, well, pastor, I don't know what's wrong. I had a conversation with
a man years ago. He said, I don't know what's wrong. I feel like I've been in the desert spiritually. He told me. I've been walking and he was a leader and elder in the church, not this church, but another church. And, and and I had known him for a long time. And then he went on to tell me what happened.
He went on to tell me that that several years back that he had been driving down the street and he'd been stopped by a prostitute and and his whole life involved in that, and he didn't know what got into him. He let the prostitute in the car, and he had a one night stand with that prostitute. And he said, I cried out to God. And I said, God forgive me, God. I don't want that to be a part of my life. I he said, I confessed it,
I cried out to God. He said, but I feel like I've been living in a desert for the last ten years. I said, did you ever confess it to your spouse? He said, I couldn't do that. She doesn't deserve that. I said she doesn't deserve to live with a man that's living in a spiritual desert. She deserves life. She deserves a spiritual man to rise up. He said it would hurt her so much. It would. It would
devastate her. I would rather her go through the devastation of honesty than the years of apathy and spiritual dryness in your own life. Get it right with God. He called me up. He said, pastor, I did it. I said, how do you feel? He said, I've never felt more relieved. He said, I'm sleeping on the couch and I don't know how long I'm going to be sleeping on the couch. It may be a long time, but I tell you what, I feel like a new man, and that man right
now has been fully restored. His energy, his spiritual life. He's a leader now. His wife got through the process of forgiving and releasing and restoration in his life and I and and and I that is a different person. It could be a whole different story if he would not have been honest before God. Acknowledge your sin against God and your spouse in the relationship immediately, immediately. Listen, you have not you have not repented unless you've ended
that relationship. You say, pastor, well, we're no longer involved. We're just going to be friends. Not or we're just going to be buddies, but it's all clean now. No, you need to end and cut off that relationship immediately.
Avoid contact with that person. And then fourthly, you need to work through the journey of restoration and healing, because it will take time to be restored and the trust to be rebuilt and all that God wants your marriage to be, to be that as you work through the journey of restoration and listen to me, men or women, listen to me Just because you cry and break and ask for forgiveness. Don't think that a week later she's going to be back to normal. A huge violation of trust.
There's a journey of recovery, a journey of restoration. But I'm convinced that if you are sincere, if your life has really changed, if you show the love and you're humble there, that you can reach a point where your marriage will be better than the way it was before with full honesty there. I believe that.
You're listening to Bold Steps with Mark Jobe and stay right where you are. We'll return with the rest of today's message in just a moment. Has our programming touched your life in a meaningful way? We'd be delighted to hear your story. Your testimony may be a question. A prayer request means the world to us, and we sometimes
feature them right here during our broadcast. Mark, I'd like to share a voice message that recently came in from our listener Edward, who experienced an unexpected divine encounter when dealing with a flat tire.
Hey, my name is Edward. I was just on my way home in the morning. I had a tire pop and I drove into the nearest parking lot. Yeah, the parking lot ended up to be the parking lot of a state park that's, um, has a really, really cool view of the river. And, um. But anyways, I went to go look for my spare, and I realized I don't even have a spare. So I just had my Bible with me from yesterday's Sunday service. I realized I'm here for a reason. I got stopped for a reason.
I choose not to believe that things don't happen for a reason I just seen too many times in my life. But the Lord led me here and I turned on the radio and it was a preset function. This is a new car to 107.9 to where I hear your guys's radio talking about no condemnation for those who are in Christ and those who are living by the spirit and not by the flesh And and the consequences of living in the lifestyle that comes with living by the
flesh and the whole. Just fighting against this religious idea of being raised up in a very religious church and just looking for, you know, things of the Holy Spirit. And this was just speaking straight to me. And I just want to say how much I appreciate this. That word of encouragement was literally for me. And the Lord had to, you know, stop me with a pop tire for me to hear this message. So I really appreciate it. And it's a good reminder and keep doing what you
guys are doing. Thank you so much.
Mark. What a great perspective, huh?
Edward, I love your story. And you know, we pray, uh, before our recordings, that God would take the right message at the right time to speak to people when they need to hear it. And so, Edward, I love your story of looking for, uh, God's divine appointments.
In the middle of a setback. And so, hey, next time you're out there, you have a flat tire or you're stuck in a waiting place, just remember, God is at work. No matter what's happening in our lives, bold.
Step service will come along. All right. Thank you. Edward, if you haven't reached out to us yet, take that step today. We'd be thrilled to receive your personal story. Maybe a Bible question you have or a prayer need. It's easy to connect with us. Just visit our website bold steps org or if you prefer like Edward did, call and leave your message on our dedicated recording line at (312) 329-2011. Again (312) 329-2011. And of course, you're always welcome
to drop us an email. Bold steps at Moody's. All right. That was fun. Let's get back to our message. Now. Here again is Mark Jobe.
In James, as I read before to you, James says, you adulterous generation, you're more friends with the world than you are with God. You've fallen in love with the world and the ways of the world. You satisfy yourself in the world rather than in me. You're not filled with the spirit. You're filled with carnality. You don't run to me to hear words. You run to your friends to to to find your satisfaction. Your joy doesn't come from spending time with me. It comes from watching the
latest movie that came out. You're no longer passionate about my things. You no longer want to spend time with me. You no longer have a heart for me. You no longer weep at the thought of the cross and your sins forgiven. You no longer rejoice when someone gets baptized and to see them turn around. You no longer have the faith that you had. You belong to me, but you are friends with the world. Their spiritual adultery in your heart. And God says, listen to me. God gives
a pathway back. In James chapter four, verse six through ten he says, But God gives more grace. That's why Scripture says that God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. And then he tells us six things to do. First of all, he says, submit yourself, then to God. If you're making your way back to God, listen, if you have a heart of spiritual adultery right now, listen. The first thing is choose to submit to God and
His authority. Listen. As long as you're running your life, you will continue to do what you want to do. If you if you say that you're a Christian, if you say that the Spirit of Jesus is inside of you, if you say that you belong to God, then make him Lord of your life and say, God, I submit every area to my life. It's not my way, but your way. God, it's not what I want, but it's what you want. God, it's not my desires, but your desires. God, I put myself in submission to you. That's what it
means to submit yourselves, then to God. Most of us have gotten in the trouble that we've gotten because we've allowed ourselves to dictate what we want. Instead of saying, God, what's your way? What do you want? God? Not what are my needs? And how do I fulfill them? But God, what do you want me to do? How do you want me to live? God, I submit, even though it's hard and my flesh wants this, I submit to your way, God,
because your way is higher than my way. The Bible says the first step to return to God is to be willing to submit to his authority, to his obedience to his leadership. Secondly. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. You'll have no power over your temptation until first of all, you've submitted to God. Some of you have been struggling with the same temptation over and over, and seem like you have no power because you have no power to resist the devil, because you have no
submission to God. You're going up trying to fight your desire, and you fall and fall and fall and you've been falling for ten years, three years, two years. And God says, submit yourself first to him. Say not my will, God. Not what I want, but you want. You are Lord God. And I bow my knee again. Then the Bible says, rise up. And now you can resist temptation and resist the devil, and he will flee from you, but only if you've submitted yourself to God. Thirdly, draw near to God. Listen,
I love this about this. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Don't you love that about the heart of God? But God is saying, I want to have a relationship with you. If you're far from me, take a step towards me. And God says, God is waiting. Waiting for you to take a step of submission. Waiting you for you to say, God, I'm tired of this. I want to live your way. I want it to be you, God. God is saying, take a step. And the Bible says when you take a step,
then God will draw near to you. He's waiting for you to draw near to him, waiting for you to take that step. You say, well, how do I do it, pastor? Whatever way you can. You come to the altar, you pray, you get on your knees, you tell God, God, I need you. Whatever step you have to take, whatever God is asking you to take, you take that step and God will meet you where you are at. That's the promise of God. As soon as you step near, God says, here I am. I love that about the heart of God.
He's just waiting for some of you, waiting for some of you to take that step saying, I Saying, I want to see that you want me. God is saying, I want to see that you're serious. I want to see that you have any inclination to get right with me. And I will meet you right where you're at. I'm not going to stand there with my arms crossed, saying grovel a little bit more. God is not that way.
He says, take a step and I will meet you right where you're at, and I'll put my arm around you and help you on through the journey of restoration. But show me that you want me. Show me that you want to get right. Show me that you have a desire for me. That's the heart of God. And then the Bible says, number four repent from your actions and your attitudes. Listen what it says. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double minded. It's
the actions on the outside and the attitudes on the inside. Listen, if there's stuff that you've done that sinned against God, you have to say, God, I've sinned against you. This is it. And even the attitudes of your heart. What you've done on the outside and the attitudes that you've said. Cleanse your heart. How do you how do you cleanse yourself? You confess and you repent. And confession is different than just admitting you confess to God. You say, God, I've
sinned against you. I and I know it's wrong, and I know that's not the way I need to live God, and I'm willing to leave it behind. I repent of it. I put it behind me. And the Bible says, when you confess and repent that God is faithful and just to forgive you and to cleanse you from all unrighteousness, but you have to come to him and be willing to confess and repent. Choose to submit to God. Then you can resist giving into temptation. Take a step towards God,
repent of your actions and your attitudes. Then feel the grief over your sin. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. What does that mean? Listen, when you truly know how much we've hurt God. It's like when someone sinned and committed adultery against their spouse. We would say that it's just wrong if you say, well, honey, I cheated against you. Sorry. That's not true repentance, man. If you really know what
you've done to your spouse, you will be broken. You will be grieved. You will be so saddened of your heart that you cannot speak. The Bible says, grieve, mourn, wail. Let your emotions catch up. Realize what you've done to God, how we've let our heart go astray. Feel the grief over your sin. And lastly, number six, humble yourselves. It says this listen. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. Listen, as long as you walk in pride, you can never be restored from a heart
of adultery. As long as you walk in pride and you blame other people. Oh, it's him. It was her. He did this. He did that. I'm this way because of that person. Listen. That's pride. Humility says I take responsibility for it. I humble myself before God, whatever it takes, I don't care who knows. I don't care who sees. I'm not doing image management here. I'm not trying to protect myself. I'm not saying, well, don't let anybody know. I don't care who knows. I want to be right
with God. That makes that's the biggest priority of my life, to be right with Almighty God. And the promise is this. And then he listen, and then he will lift you up. Listen. You may feel like you've hit the bottom of the barrel, but when you take these steps, God will restore you. God will restore your influence. God will restore your name. God will restore your spiritual power. God will restore your position.
God will restore your marriage. God will begin to restore you, but only when you humble yourselves and let God lift you up, not you. Lift yourself up. Listen, there is restoration at the end of the journey of those who seek it.
A convicting and important message today from Mark Jobe. And you're listening to Bold Steps. Did you know there are a variety of ways you can catch this daily program? Whether you're on your computer, at home, or in your office, you can always listen 24 over seven on our website or catch the program while you're on the go by downloading the Moody Radio app, or even streaming on most
podcast platforms. To learn more, visit Bold Steps. Org. Well, Mark, let me take you back to today's message a message of hope. It does require some serious things from us.
Wayne.
There's a lot of people that, as they listen to this message, feel convicted about.
Chapters of failure.
In their life. And if you're listening to me.
Today and adultery is part of your story, whether you have been on the receiving side of it or you have been the committer of adultery, I want to say that it is painful, difficult, a journey of restoration. But I also want to tell you that it's not hopeless. And I have talked to so many couples that have chosen to embrace the journey of healing and restoration.
Not easy, is it? It takes a lot of work.
It takes a lot of work. It's a very difficult process. There has to be openness, honesty and time to make this work well. So if spiritually you have committed adultery like we talked in this message, or if it's been in your marriage, I just want to pray for you right now and ask that God would give you the power to embrace a heart of repentance that allows healing to happen. Father, I pray right now for that marriage
that is struggling. I pray right now for that wife that is in pain right now and questioning, or that husband that is so desperate. I pray in Jesus name that you would speak hope into their marriage. Father, I pray for repentance where it's needed. I pray for grace where it's appropriate. Father. And I pray, father, that you would take out of that which is broken out of the ashes, and that you would create something new, healthy, whole,
something that honors you, father, so I pray. I pray, father, that you would infuse hope, God, for the future in those that are struggling right now. I ask this in Jesus name, Amen and amen.
Thank you Mark. We're wrapping up today's program. But before we close, I want to invite you to secure your copy of this month's exclusive bold Step gift. In today's complex cultural environment, young girls navigate unprecedented pressures from social media, peer groups and entertainment before they even hit their teen years. They're flooded with messages that can warp their perception of themselves, their relationships, and, most importantly, their value in God's eyes.
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Don't forget to join our online community, find daily inspiration, and connect with fellow believers by following bold steps on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube channel. Just search for Bold Steps Radio and become part of the conversation. I'm Wayne Shepard, that's all the time we have today. Join us again Friday when Mark discusses giving, taking, and stealing. The message comes from our series on Rock Solid Living, and you'll hear
it next time on Bold Steps with Mark Jobe. Bold steps is a production of Moody Radio, a ministry of Moody Bible Institute.