Ep 253: Bathed in Borax

Bodega Boys. Hey, everybody. Hey, what's up? Welcome to Drink Champs. We got Joe Rogan in the house today because we did so well off the Kanye interview. We just got to keep it going. You know, just be revolutionary and luminary. Just have things for the coach. Do things for the coach. You know, give it up for my man Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan in this building, y'all. Thank you, man. Noriega? Joe, Joe. I listen to a little bit of hip-hop, you know like

Give it up for hip hop. Give it up for hip hop right there. Give it up for hip hop. All right, I'll give it up. All right, so Joe Rogan, you ever did Heroin with Future? Actually, you know, I never did Heroin with Future, but I did do Ayahuasca with Will Smith one time.

Uh, you know. Oh, shit. Ayahuasca. Give it up for Ayahuasca. Give it up for Ayahuasca. Yeah, mix it up. Ayahuasca, yeah. And Will Smith. Yeah, he's a cool guy. You know, we did Ayahuasca. We tripped out. I threw up on him. You know? Wait.

Will Smith from Fresh Prince? Yeah, yeah. The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Oh, shit. Give it up for Uncle Phil. Give it up for Uncle Phil. Give it up for Jamie Smith, too. He made water. He's making water. You fucking water, Joe? Actually, you know what? I do love water. Let me explain something.

Give it up for love and water. Give it up for love and water. Thank you. Let me tell you something about water. Water is really important because when I got COVID, I realized that the only thing I needed to do was splash water on my face and I would be better.

That's right. Give it up for COVID. Give it up for COVID out there. Let me ask you, did you just jump into COVID at 19 or did you see the 18 ones before it? Because a lot of people didn't know the back story. So I just wanted to know what you do. So, you know, as you know, you have a very popular podcast. I have a very popular podcast as well. So what I do is I smoke a cigar in front of an American flag, and I just...

Give it up for the American flag. Give it up for Betsy Ross, y'all. Give it up for Betsy Ross, y'all. Real bitch right there. Real bitch right there. Yeah, she was a real bitch, yeah. And then I spread misinformation with C-level comedians. So that's what I do.

And, you know, it's kind of like your show, except your show actually adds to, you know, what do black guys call it? The culture? Yeah, we add to the culture. Give it up for me adding to the culture. Give it up for me adding to the culture. Also give it up for culture.

I want to give it up for yoga, because yoga is starting with culture. That's true, yeah. You enjoy it? What's your favorite yoga? My own, actually. Actually, you know, somebody asked me. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up. Can you explain that, Joe? Yeah, yeah.

What do you mean your own yogurt champagne? So, you know, I like to, um, uh, what's the, uh, well, this is drink, this is drink champs, right? I guess I can, can I curse? This is drink champs, you can curse, you can get drugs, you can shoot. All right, well, you know, um. I like to suck my own cock. I'm able to suck my own cock. So when I suck my own cock, that's where I get my protein from. A lot of people don't know that. It's better than ivermectin for COVID.

And if you suck your own cock and you ejaculate into your own mouth and it hits the palate of your mouth, the roof of your mouth, now you're immune to every novel virus for the next 25 years. I know that because I'm a scientist. Also, I know karate.

Okay. I'm being told by the con people at Revolt that we're going to have to end this episode early. Why? Apparently there's something in the contract about... I'm going to keep it funky. I'm going to keep it for crazy, brazy, brother. Okay? You're going to be on Drink Traps talking about sucking on cock. Oh. Oh. Well, I mean, you know, I mean, like, I... It's...

you know, it's part of my regimen. It saved me from COVID. So what I'm trying to, all I'm trying to explain to you guys is that... My brother, my brother, my brother, I'm gonna need you. So you're telling me you wouldn't suck your own cock? Stop, I'm gonna need you. You know what? This, uh, you know what? DJ, do the drop. You're listening to The Audio Art, the most dangerous podcast in the universe. Do the drop.

Most illustrious podcast in the world. We took a little break, but we're back. You know what I'm saying? It wasn't our fault. It was because of the supply chain. The new podcast got stuck in the docks in LA. They don't have enough freight workers and trucks to offload it. It's the same places where your PS5 is at. I mean, unless you don't have a PS5 at this point, which means you're just broke, which is just sad.

If you don't have a PS5 at this point, that means whatever person you're fucking, you ain't doing it right. You're not hitting the bottom, bro. You're not hitting the bottom. They're not trying to reward them. You're not hitting the bottom. You're not getting a PlayStation. If you're not getting a PS5 and you're getting... use PS4 games, you're definitely not hitting the bottom, bro. You're not hitting the bottom. This nigga got Dreamcast dick. Wow. Niggas out here slinging GameCube dick, bro.

Sad state of affairs. All right. You get in the bedroom. You about to tear up them guts. Your girl's all hopped up. She came back from brunch and she wants you to eat it from the back. You pull off your boxers and what's there? The rest. We all call Bill Gates. It's all right. I'm just going to wrap a towel around it. It's going to go away. It's fine. It's fine. I'm going to play Modern Warfare again.

they gotta yo they got a gucci xbox out there for 10 racks bro i saw that shit i was just like damn would this would this be the stupidest purchase i have ever made in my life if i were to make this purchase you you dirty ass Bronx nigga you know there's a guy right now on like fucking I want to say 163rd and he has like four he had them from Xbox One

He has a private Instagram page and in Spanish it says, I make you custom Xboxes. Okay? Also, if you want to flex, don't show me a Gucci Xbox. Show me a Burberry Xbox. Yeah. Show me the baby shower Xbox. Yo, I got a disc drive. Oh, shit.

As always, Bodega Boys is sponsored by K-K-K-K-Kasha. K-K-K-Kasha. You know what I'm saying? And of course, Hannah Rubenstein and viewers like you. Thank you for listening. to user-supported podcasts. And instead of getting the podcast for 20 minutes, we're going to talk about why you should donate money and why you should feel guilty because you're watching this channel. And as a child, I'm like, I don't have any money. Can you show me my show? Please. I just want to watch nature. Right? Okay.

Show me these old episodes of Square One that were made before I was born. 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12. Come on. See, that's why kids nowadays are getting robbed because, not robbed really, but I mean schools because when was the last time they came out with a new number? Yo.

Facts. Kids ain't even going up. They just gave up. Kids count up to 20. They just popped up to nine. My kids ain't even going into double digits. They're in school. My kid is in fifth grade and he's just like, yo. I'm like, yo, count to 15. He's like, yo, dad, we don't do that.

It's not in the curriculum. We don't do that. We off that. We only go one through nine. We off that. I was like, wow, really? I fucked him up the other day. I was like, yo, what's zero plus zero? He was like, yo, you don't do that. That's racist. I was like, how? Had no answer for me, but. That's where we're headed, bro. I mean...

I mean, no, he is right. That's right. That's a little wokey little brother because he says zero plus zero is racist because zero is how much financial gains the average black family has inside USA, or as I like to call it, America. Three Ks in it, my brother, because who made it? Now the other zero, the other zero, you know what that is? That's net zero.

They used to provide internet in the hood for us, and then they took it away. Why? Because we didn't want to pay. We was only watching ads in the browser, and that's how it was supposed to support itself. And apparently, when they try to do an IPO, you can't make enough money off branded ads to keep a- building going. So they had to shut down. So that's how, you know, zero to zero is racist, black man. All right? Also, you seen that Joe Rogan drink chat? Yo, they were sparing facts.

I mean, not facts, but you know, they were spitting something. Yeah, it was just a lot of spit. It was kind of thick and it was like... You know what? We might have to remove that. Oh, yikes, yikes, yikes. Yikes. Yikes. Goddamn.

Yo, you know, rest in peace to all the people that anyone, you know, that was affected by the Astero tragedy. Because when I heard it, I remember I was on Twitter and they were talking about it.

And there were two stories going on. One was like people was getting crushed, which reminded me of the CCNY thing with Diddy back in 1991 where the eight kids died trying to get into his concert. But then, because the cops were trying to cover their ass, they made up some story about someone was running around injecting niggas. with a needle and that's what I heard that shit I was like wait a minute like I don't know about this cause Twitter doesn't

Because Twitter doesn't know how drugs work. People were running with it. And it was like, people were overdosing on crack and they had to get Narcanned. And that's what people were dying. No, no, that's not crack. It's heroin that you use Narcan for. Yes. Child. But damn, all those people.

You know, it's about crowd control and stuff. Listen, low-key, we've been saying it. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, motherfuckers are so thirsty to come out that when they go out, they don't know how to act. You know what I'm saying? Like... Yeah. Also, when you go to a Travis Scott concert, you're going there knowing you don't know how to act. That's where you go to rage. I think the album is called I Don't Know How to Act.

Okay, you're not going there on your best behavior. You're going there to rage. Come on. This is a New York City ballet, dog. You're not going there with a cup of M&Ms and some champagne. Like, yo, we're going to hang out? Nah, bro. You go in there with some dirty vans to kick a white woman in the face. You know what I'm saying? And she has dirty white Air Force Ones on. See, the only place I rage at? New Orleans Jazz Fest. That's right, baby. Yeah!

Fuck him up, Wilson Marsalis. Yo, shout him to Marsalis. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Yo. I know that run. That's Duke Ellington. He's playing some Duke Ellington, bro. A lot of people don't know this. William Tisdale used to play in the NBA, yo. Oh, shit. Yo, factoid. You know what I'm saying? Get into a wild fist fight outside the arena. How dare you talk about Miles Davis, motherfucker? What? Fuck you stupid? Yo, John Coltrane's the GOAT. You're wildin'.

Fighting in a wild linen suit. I got on gators. I'm sliding around. Jazz stands? I think it's jazz stands. Listen, I'm like, listen, little nigga. Take the A train was wild overrated. They're like, oh, what? Oh, what? Oh, okay. Say that again, nigga. Oh, shit. No, no, no. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. He's the goal. He's the goal. He's the goal. He's the goal.

All right. That's from our new show, Law & Order Jazz Unit. Okay. Listen, we got to get in good with Dick Wolf.

so we can be like by his side so if he ever starts getting like all time we can start feeding him like terrible ideas for shows and he'll just bankroll them or just give him papers like yo sign this sign this sign this i'm like yo dick yo dick wolf well imagine like if there was a nyp unit that you know they arrested people for counterfeiting furbies he's like sign the check i'm like yeah

that's a tremendous you guys are great idea guys i love you guys dick wolf okay so me and mero we're cops right and we've got to arrest people who uh right click and save nfts Come on. Come on. Oh, that's amazing. It's Law and Order NFT right there. The acronym is already built in. Right there. Also, Dick Wolf, I don't know what you've heard. Stay away from Joe Rogan. Yeah, I mean, I heard he sucks his own cock. I wouldn't, I mean, couldn't be me. I'm out here making propaganda.

Copaganda. Copaganda sounds like a fire 1996 rap track that is full of misinformation. There's probably some light homophobia in it and an Illuminati reference. Yeah, J.R. wrote that shit. shit in 1993, bruh. Like, it just never got released. Cop again, dog. The wildest part, if you watch the music video for it, they definitely wanted it played in clubs. And you're just like, why? Why? Why would you use a fucking disco beat for this shit?

yo we shooting motherfuckers in the street hey stop and frisk y'all hey hey stop and frisk y'all Also, stop and frisk sounds like the name of a fire 1996 male hip hop dance group. They're like behind Big Daddy Kane. It's like, oh, give it up for my dancers. Stop and frisk, y'all. You're like, oh, shit. Oh, oh. It's like doing the whop and shit. Like, yo, fam. Like, no. This is... In the future, you will regret this. That's what...

That's what they do need to bring back though. I'm tired of going to rap concerts, not Travis Scott concerts, but concerts and- You know, the rapper be having dancers or some shit or the rapper just freestyle. I want to be at a concert and the rapper be like, yo, hold up. Let me show him one time. Puts the mic on the stand and just does the wild choreography. I mean like the running man doing some spins and shit. Imagine you at a Benny the Butcher concert and your man just does the wild hammer.

You're like, go Banny. Go Banny. Go Banny. Go Banny. Fuck it up. Go Banny. Fuck it up. Ah, ah, ah. Go bad, friend. Yo, no. Yo. I would literally die. Yo. I was like, yo, y'all niggas all look like goons who ripped up jeans and match hands on and shit, and you're over here doing a turn. on stage that's wild it's just it's Benny and Westside Gunn on stage just doing a walk like oh shit oh yeah fuck it fuck it up Buffalo and Diddy comes out like out of nowhere like like goddamn dog

This is real hip-hop, bro. I heard this was dancing. I had to show up. her niggas dancing. And you know, if you do that, if three niggas start dancing anywhere, Chris Brown, we all know that. He does a triple front flip into the shit, like, bam! Niggas lands with a thud, like, poof!

Like, earth shake it. He was going to do the triple front flip through your wall like Kool-Aid. He's like, oh, shit. He's like, oh, yeah. Girl, do not say Chris Brown. Don't say Chris Brown's name three times in the mirror. No, they're like, Breezy, Breezy, Breezy. Stop it. Stop, stop, stop. What are you doing? I just said stop it real loud and my pets just looked at me like, we ain't even doing that. Fuck, we chilling, bro. We're in our heat reflecting beds. Chill.

They're like, you still recording that podcast? For real? That's right. Podcaster we're here, niggas. Motherfucker, how dare you? Okay. We back like the nicks, nigga. What's up? Okay. We are back like the Knicks, who are literally playing right now. And since I'm coming to you live from the remains of Milk Studio, aka Myra, apartment, the score right now is 95-103 in the fourth. Damn, you're going to lose. But on the flip side...

They came out with a, they're coming out with an oral, not a vaccine, but actual oral treatment, oral treatment for COVID. Something you can take after you get it.

So we might actually be at the end of a pandemic. There might be an actual end to this at some point coming up, which is kind of wild. But to get even wilder, because, you know, this podcast, we only talk about wild stuff and stuff that you might not have seen in the news.

people, anti-vaxxers are starting to realize they're losing. Like there's not that many anti-vaxxers left. Like the vaccination rates because of mandates, everyone's met. So the new thing anti-vaxxers are doing now, they go, they get vaccinated. They drive home as fast as they can and they get into a bathtub full of Borac. That cleanser. What? And they scrub themselves. And there's TikTok groups.

And the people are doing things like they're burning the injection site with a cigarette lighter or a cigarette to try to burn out the vaccine. They're like they're drinking bleach to try to. like get the vaccine from out of them or they just keep like taking showers and they're scrubbing themselves with detergent. Oh my God, bro.

Like, do you not understand how the body works at all? I was waiting for you to be like, yo, people suck it. Like, suck on the injection site. Like a snake bite. Like, to try to suck the... Bro, bro. Like, spit it out like... Yo, nah. Bro, if you go on Amazon and you search, they're using the snake bite kits to try to get it out there. Oh, no!

I kid you not, yo. It makes me like, you got to think about it like this. If you, there's going to, the population of America going forward is going to look much different because if you didn't believe in COVID, someone, like if your family didn't believe in COVID, probably. Part of your family died. And then the people left, I don't think they know how to have proper sex to have another baby. No, they don't. They're homesucking their own cocks because Joe Rogan told them to do this. Exactly.

Just spit it in the air fryer when you're done. Spit it in the air fryer. Yeah. Oh. So ridiculous. COVID. COVID. Yo, so wait. You know, shout out to. So wait, so it's just like Tylenol? Like you just take like a spoonful of some medicine and you're good? Wow. Okay, if you don't get your big immigrant island ass out of here, you may think it's collard oil. A little collard oil? That's it? A little, uh, what's it called? A little, uh...

What was that shit that they used to make us drink, bro? It was like fake soda, but it was like a laxative? I know you know what I'm talking about. Yeah, I forgot the name of it, but yeah.

Listen, no, they said, but it's going to be, I mean, it's the hospital. So, you know, they're not going to give it away for free. You still got to, like, probably go to the hospital. Pay $8,000. Get the shit, but. Yeah. But, you know, like, not for nothing. Give it up for Kobe. Give it up for Kobe. Give it up for Kobe.

It really came through and crushed the buildings. Because I remember when they first announced it, I was like, oh, it ain't going to be shit. And it was like, oh, you think? Oh, okay. Sam. Okay. Looking back, like, and it's wild because it's been years. Now it's been a couple, you can say like, you can say it and be.

factually correct it's been a couple of years and if you look at shit like during the beginning it's like bruh this shit was like we were really spraying boxes dog we were spraying boxes And leaving them outside. Niggas was leaving shit outside. Niggas was putting duct tape underneath their door to keep stuff. And then I remember there was one article that really started a shitstorm on Twitter.

And it was like about a person who was just minding their business. And because their roommate got fecal matter on their sleeve, but it was microscopic, like they developed COVID and they ended up dying in two days, which wasn't how it was going.

That shit was wild. That shit was wild. I'll say that shit was wild. Other countries are like, excuse me, Americans, we still don't do that. Say it, guys. Say it. Yeah. And you know what? I say, guess what? Other countries, maybe if you had a strong leader like Joe, I love Negro Bidens. You know what I'm saying? You'd be out the problem.

Yo, every time Joe Biden talks on me, I'm just like, yo, somebody's about to dunk on you, dog. Like, somebody is about to fucking dunk on you. Like, I don't know who, but somebody. Because you're going to say something. Every time he talks, I feel bad because either he don't know what's going on or he's about to fall asleep in the middle of a sentence.

You know, it's an old man Joe with the candies down the street. He's mad nice. He lets you pet his old dog and shit. He's nice, but every now and then he says something problematic. He's like, oh.

it's such a good thing your family lives here because before you was a family of eight orientals and let me tell you the amount of rice that they had going on they always sounded upset with each other when they talked i don't understand always high-pitched i don't know and don't even get me started with them They say they're Cuban, but I know a Mexican. I see one. You know how I know they're Mexican? They work a lot. What is that? What is that?

It's not a bad thing, but you know, work a lot means a lot of Corona a lot at night. And I don't mean the disease. I mean the beer. Hey, you know, don't get me wrong. I enjoy a cerveza por favor every now and then too. But come on, every evening can't be Day of the Dead. Come on, do some work here. Come on, come fix my roof. Exactly. It's November 12th, not Cinco de Mayo. Put down the beer, Gabrielle.

Imagine if someone went up there and said some shit like that, like just went straight off prompter and was just like, yo, he was mad tight because his plumber was like fucking Puerto Rican and he showed up half an hour late. The thing is, if he did go up there and say that, like people...

The thing, even with Biden, Biden saying Negro, everyone's like, oh my God, he's out of control. Can't believe he said that. I'm just like, guys, do you guys remember anything about Donald Trump? No, anything. Like the littlest, like anything, anything. Think about the most fucked up thing you think Donald Trump said, and I guarantee you, with two Google searches, you can find something more fucked up. 100%.

Because he was wilding. 100%. That man was wilding. He did not give a fuck. He was pulling him from 80. He was just like, yo, give me the fucking rock. Like, yo, fuck this prompter. I do what I want. He was like, they can't hold me. Nigga, even like the simplest shit. Like, I feel like his whole like reason for being, he was just like, yo, I'm not going to do like, like the bad kid on Maury. I do what I want. I do what I want. Like.

When they were like, yo, when the sun, when they had the eclipse, and they were like, yo, don't look directly in the sun. Of course. This motherfucker. Yo, he gotta be the one to take the shit off and be like, fuck that. I look directly in the sun. I'm Donald Trump. I do what I want. I called my brother's son because he shined like one. That's right. Look at him in the eyes. Like, dog. I remember when he, um, because even like, because he was like, oh,

Saying wild shit. I was like, yo, bro, remember when he was like Megyn Kelly? She just has blood coming from everywhere down there or something like that. And I was like, sir. I was like, regular people can't even say that. How you make a motherfucker be like, yo, Meghan McCain raises some points. Yes. That's where he was at. You know what? The Ayatollah is right. Yo, you know shit is fucked up when you're like, yo, goddamn. Like, yo, you know what?

They right you know I'm saying they beheaded 20 people, but you know I'm saying they got a point about this guy Also, shout out to our new homie, Eric Adams. We were just hanging him the other night. He was making us vegan raps. In New York. In his house. In New York City. Oh, that's going to be a wild four years. It's going to be a wild four years. I'll let you know everything that's going on with Eric Adams. I think he moved in across the street.

He had to move from his other jersey. He's like, I'm just here in the borough of Bergen. I mean, in Brooklyn. Is Bergen in the house alive? Without a doubt. Oh, shit. Not Eric Adams. Oh, man. fam yo he's yo oh man listen i don't know what he's gonna do but i know it's not gonna be good that's all i know

I would be very surprised. What would be one thing that Eric Adams could do that you would be like, oh, shit. Like, I'm surprised. That he could do that would make New York a better place and the city desperately needs? Let me see.

What's something the city needs? There should be different time on the subway for how attractive you are. Because, like, there's no reason for ugly people to be on the train at the same time as beautiful people. And some people are saying this is not fair. And if you're saying that, that means you're probably ugly.

So, sorry. Okay. Instead of, on Metro North and like the LIRR, they have peak time. And what we're going to have is pretty time. And see, that's when attractive. If you are seven, you know what? I said it. I said seven. Because some people would be like, geez, this should be like a nine and ten. Listen, ain't nobody taking a morning shift. So you got to let the sevens and eights get into the city, okay? You got to let them go. You know.

You know that girl, she's kind of hot at Starbucks, but she got the... Yeah, she got a scar. You know what I mean? Like she burned herself with a frying pan and shit when she was like a kid. So, you know, we get the... We get the pretty people in first, and then the Uggmugs, you can come in between 10 and 12, where no one has to see you. And because of daylight savings time, ugly people are not allowed to leave their jobs until it's dark outside. Sorry.

Sorry. That's what daylight savings time is for. A lot of people don't know that. That's the original purpose of it. It has nothing to do with the clock or the day or the seasons. It's like, yo, ugly people, we had enough of you. You know what I'm saying? We've had enough. We had to look at you all summer. It's in the Bible. Now, in the wintertime, go into hiding, please. It's the holidays. It was the, you look in the Bible, and God looked at people and was just like, oh, man.

But then he got a good look and he was like, ugly people. And we're gonna use the same pretty. principal thing for like schools and hospitals and welfare. So yeah, you just go, you know, vote for DC. Just be a baddie. Vote. We just, yeah, that's, that's our, that's our style. Be a baddie. Don't be a baddie. No ugly chicks. No ugly chicks. And I'm like, gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen, women, and gentle thems. It's not no ugly chicks.

is no bricks whatsoever, okay? We don't want no ugly men, ugly women, ugly thems, nothing. Remember, Martin Luther King had a dream, and I had a dream too. And the dream was when I opened my eyes, there's nothing but beauty. That's right. Not any of your gargamelos out here looking like a bag of toenails. Nobody want to see you. You're ugly. Get out of here. You're your mama's kid. Shit. You got pock marks on your goddamn face.

God damn it. What'd they use? They used forceps on you when you was... Why your head creves in like that? They used a speculum, didn't they?

Also, Speculum was the name of one of my favorite dance house mix in like 2008. Oh, shit. Yo, that was my shit. Yes. Yo, listen. Speculum. Speculum. I like the Masters of Work remix of that. It was fire. It was 28 minutes long, but it was fire. You are now being grabbed by the Spectrum. Dance to the dance. Dance to the drop of the bass. Listen to the speculum. It commands you. In this room, only one speculum. The speculum of house. House. Music. The mic okay, alright. Yo.

I'm like, yo, I'm like, bro, it's like 5 a.m. Like, oh, shit, is that his only bass? I'm like, bro, it's it. I'm like, bro, it's 5 a.m., but this isn't really after. You guys are just still partying. I don't like this at all. I was like, yo, that girl is hot, but oh, my God, does she have a tote bag? Wait, is she taking out sneakers from the tote bag? Oh, God.

She's dancing in the middle of the dance floor. She came here just to dance. Oh, no. Gross. She didn't come here to get arrested. Nobody likes that. Oh, nobody likes that. Come on.

Oh, my God. So the Knicks lost. Yeah, well, you know, it happens. Campbell had a good game, though. It happens. Yeah, he was hitting some... some shots earlier on he can maintain it we're settling into into real realism nick mode like the knicks are gonna be good they're not gonna be astonishing you know i'm saying true but they're gonna be all right I feel. You know what I'm saying? So let's enjoy it. And anything they do is like acceptable. Because that's, you know, like...

Last year, they got to the Atlanta, stopped them in the playoffs. But the fact they even made it to the playoffs was good. And now we're just like, yo, you could do that at the least again. So we have expectations. The bar is off the floor now. It is two centimeters off the floor. And, you know what I'm saying? But we raised the ball.

Also shout out to Rockstar with the GTA remaster in the building. Yo, that shit is crucial. All our favorites is out. That shit is crucial. Shout out to people that go on GTA and just cause havoc and don't actually do anything. Like... there's people out like building businesses and shit and then there's just motherfuckers that just get on there get three of their dudes and be like yo let's just rob everybody it's like are you that guy or are you the mission guy um I don't

I've never played it online. I've only played the offline modes. Rockstar Online doesn't seem like fun to me, except for the time we played it that time at Rockstar. But I might check it out. I really want to do, I just want to go back to San Andreas, go visit the house with my mom. That's right. You know, big things like that. Get a yee-yee ass haircut. Do it for Grove Street. Do it for Grove Street, baby. Do it for Grove, okay?

Okay. He got a yee yee ass haircut. I was like, what does that even mean? It was a yee yee ass haircut, man. Should I have to say the truth? It was like a... What do you call it? What? Oh, no. They call it Cuomo. And he's got making out with one of his married aides. Oh, wow. Hey, hey. He can't help it. I tell you, he can't help what happens. It's tradition. It's a cultural thing.

I like to touch the broads, you know? They enjoy it. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with that. Come on. Listen, guys. If you were on a bunch of smoke shows all day, how would you feel, huh? He thinks that's like a valid defense, too. He's like, what do you want me to do? They're all tense, bro. They're phenomenal. Look at the kids, bro. They're sitting up like it was 1996. Come on.

Also, as Deezus and Mero were saying in the Mero platform, you know, she was outside when it was dimes o'clock, okay? When she was out timing the dime time, all right? So clearly, she's not ugly. So why am I being prosecuted for, you know, realizing a lady's beautiful?

And expressing that I enjoy that she's pretty. And then, you know, just putting my face between the breasts. Come on. Yeah, like, you know, the guy, the guy, wedding crash, the guy did it. Vince Vaughn. Nobody. Hey, did he get canceled? No. Hey, listen. That's all right. Vince Vaughn and Mel Gibson. Uncancellable. Uncancellable. Yo, Mel Gibson did some shit.

that's like if you look at his like resume he did some shit like he did he said some anti-submitted shit he also didn't he smash a bank window and like try to use the atm or some wild shit like that or some drunk shit like The thing, it's not just he did some, he's still doing shit. He just made a movie about being a crooked cop. He's like, he's wild anti-Semitic.

And then I had to stop and think, I was like, what is the movie that made everyone fucking fall in love with Mel Gibson? It couldn't have been Lethal Weapon. Like, that shit was not that good. So what movie has everyone on Mel Gibson's dick like that? To me, it gotta be, I think it's Braveheart.

Because, yeah. Braveheart or Passion of the Christ or something? Yeah. I think it's, yeah, because you know Braveheart, he got the stupid face paint and shit, and he's on a horse, and it's like, you know, an iconic scene.

Or whatever. He's like, don't never take our freedom. And you know, that's all the fucking Oath Keepers got that shit tattered on their nutsack and shit. You know what I'm saying? I've actually never seen Braveheart, so. I mean, I give it to Jess. It's like three hours. Yeah, it sucks. Don't even watch it.

He's got a blue face, they're like fighting over Lucky Charms in Ireland or some shit. It's like the UK, Scotland, I don't know. Oh, they're after me, they're after me, Lucky Charms. Oh, they're magically delicious. They're gonna shoot us with arrows, eh? Like, I'm like, this is boring. Oh, arrows at me. Pink horse shoes at you. Low key, this shit was boring. I'm trying to remember like.

If there was anything cool about that movie, there's nothing. There was one battle scene that was kind of lit. There was Tasteful Nudity. It's probably the Guinness Book of World Records for bare-ass men in a movie. You don't remember? Right before the battle, they all moon. Oh, yeah. That's right. Yeah. They showed the ass cheeks. Yeah.

But you see, you said it's tasteful nudity, and we don't do that on this show. We don't do tasteful nudity. If they would have spread their cheeks and farted, then that shit would have rang bells. Nah, bro. This was medieval times. They didn't even have toilet paper.

I'm not trying to see all that. Shout out to all my real sucios, all my young people out there reading National Geographic. You don't really know what's going on with this issue, why they got titties out, but you're putting it to the side for later. I feel you, bro. I feel you. We've all been there. We've all been there. Yeah, I saw this question float across the TL, and I want to ask Olia. You're down there. You're eating butt. And you get a little taste of something.

Do you stop immediately or do you keep going? Taste of what? Like shit? You should hear one thing. You don't know what it is. You know how when you put your tongue on the tip of a battery? It's like something, but it's not like a flavor. That. Something like that. Not doo-doo.

Cause like, if it's doodle, you're like, yo, I'm out of here. I'm like, I'm not, I'm, you know, most people. Well, if it's not doodle, what would, it's either a hair or a maggot. There's not too many. A maggot? You never got, uh, you never got a little, a little tight ass, like. It's like, yo, it's mad hard. You think it's like a seat or something, but it's just toilet paper? Because they were wiping mad hard? Yo, what kind of nasty bitches y'all are fucking crazy? What the fuck?

Oh, I'm sorry. I thought we was eating ass out here. We are, but respectfully, brother. Respectfully, black man. Okay? Respectfully. Before I have sex, I make my women wash up like Israelites, okay? They wash it up to their elbows. Yo, man. I'm like, sorry, my sister, you were riding the A train. That is haram. Get in the shower. Nah, but I mean, you know.

In the heat of the night. You might be in the back. You know, open bar at Levine. Who knows what I'm saying? A couple cocktails. You know, you get back home. You're in the Uber. You know what I mean? You get hot and heavy. You know, a couple of glizzies after a Nick game. Now you got the door locked on the L.A. Sorry, Mac.

Sorry, Mac was just like, he's like chewing on like a dog toy on my leg and it slipped and he just bit me. He did that thing where your dog bites you accidentally and it's not like maliciously and then they look at you like, why are you being angry? I'm a dog, B. I chew shit. Yeah. That's what I do. You fucking on my flow right now. I'm just like, you don't have to chew on me, brother. You can rely on me, but you don't have to chew on me.

Actually, he does rely on me because certain people in this house don't have jobs. So, you know. Just gonna throw that out there. Listen. They're going to get... That Okanuba don't pay for itself. He's going to grow up to... He's going to feel like he's entitled to shit. I feel like... Brody's just sitting at my feet right now. Nigga, do your little podcast. You know what I'm saying? Wrap it up.

Let me outside so I can do my thing. And then pick me up and take me upstairs. Like, now she's like, yo. She'll sit there and be like, cross her little paws, like, yo. Sir? Sir?

Do you carry her? Yeah. It's my little bitch. You know what I'm saying? She's 13. She's a senior citizen. You know what I'm saying? I do what I can. Even though she's like... I don't know if this is a real thing, but... she my neighbor has dogs so she'll like run up she seems more energetic now you know what i'm saying even though she was like she's she's all in because the neighbor got like dogs and they be running like and barking at each other through the fence and shit

I'm like, is that like a thing? Like, do dogs get, like, more energized, like, around other dogs? Like, get a little pep in this step? Yeah. Because it's like, uh, something about being around other, I guess they love it. That makes sense.

Because I know some people, when they adopt older dogs, when they're inside the pound, they're very lethargic. But now when they go to their new home, they have a second life. Because they're mad hype. So maybe. Maybe she just likes around being around niggas. Maybe she's like that coach.

She's like that coach who said, you know, sometimes niggas need a nigga. Niggas need a nigga. I love my bitches, but where's my niggas? They're like, sir, this is your graduation. Sir, sir, please. Class of 2022, y'all. You know what I'm saying? Make some noise. Make some noise. Make some noise. Make some noise. Make some noise for people with that sort of thing. Also, shout out to the homie Dylan, who just dropped the short film with Taylor Swift.

That's good acting. I don't know where they cut my scene out where I was like, yo, that's that bitch Taylor Swift. They say it doesn't really fit into the narrative of the film. Nah, that's bullshit, bro. That's bullshit. They should just put us in every film and have it be like, yo, that's that motherfucker. Yo, that's that bitch so-so.

Like, randomly. Like how Stan Lee had cameos in every Marvel movie. Like, we just pop up and be like, yo. We could do that for every, like, we just pop up at, I'll be like, yo. And Moonlight, I'll be like, yo, that's some Moonlight niggas. That's it. Brokeback man. Yo, that's some brokeback cowboy niggas right there. Oh, shit. That's Thanos. Oh, that nigga be snapping. Not like that. Like, literally snapping. Yo.

Yo, that's Spider-Man. Yo, they killed your uncle. Yo, that's foul. Yo, by the way, let's have a talk about your uncle's name, dog. It's low-key racist. You know what I'm saying? Let's talk about that. Unless he was eating rice. What's going on with that? Spider-Man. Huh? They're like, you're not adding anything to the movie or distracting? People pay good money to see this. They're like, this movie takes...

This movie takes place in Wakanda. Is there a Bronx in Wakanda? I'm like, why wouldn't there be a Bronx in Wakanda? They have everything else in Wakanda. Are you trying to say we don't deserve to be in Wakanda? What does that mean? The Bronx and Wakanda, like your Timbs, they laced themselves up already for you. And it's like 3D fucking Yankee fitted. Wild heavy jackets, but they're made of nano technology. So they're super light.

Yo, your Timbs and your Pele leather absorb kinetic energy and you can just use it to deflect projectiles that are thrown at you? There's a fucking, the two train goes 150 miles per hour from 241st all the way to 34th Street. You're like, oh shit. You're like, wow, Siri did her thing, but then it's not.

Because Siri's anti. Oh, damn, Siri. Hate to see it. What happens if you have Siri? Like, yo, should I get the vaccine? Should I get the vaccine? Then she go, me no one, no vaccine. She's going to be like, just pray. Just pray on it. Just pray on it. Pray. That's why we pray. Pray. That's why we pray. Just to make it today. Oh, man. All right. I hate those. I'm kind of dying from this, but you know. Yo, just pray on it. You hate what? No. Stupid. I want medicine.

I mean, you can pray also, but also give me medicine. What the fuck? God damn it. It's wild. preying on stuff. Also, if you rich and you anti-vax, you kind of got that option. That's kind of cool. Because you know, words come to words. You be like, ah, I was just bullshitting. But if you're not rich... You can't be like, ah. Because if I was anti-vax and I got it, I'd be at the hospital like, ah, I have my fingers crossed. Ah. Hope for the best, yo. You know what I'm saying? Ah. Ah.

Ah, nah, when I say all that anti-vaxxers, you didn't hear, but I said, psych. So you gotta help me. I have my fingers crossed. You didn't see it. I was off camera. Exactly, bro. Bro, I put a backslash in the S, so I was being sarcastic. Come on, come on. Give me that. You know what that means. Give me that sweet vaccine, daddy. Yeah, come on, bro. Come on, bro.

Why are you holding up? Why are you showing me old posts from last week? Yeah, I said Dr. Fauci needs to be killed, but I mean, that's bullshit, bro. Come on. Yo, shout out to the Bodega Hive, though, because they have been... Yo, fam, ever since we said it, like...

Damn, I'm putting myself on blast. Last time I saw Spank Bang, Finn, like the entire front page was like Bodega Boys, Bodega Boys, like tags in the fucking Pinot. I'm like, yo, are y'all brigading fucking Spank Bang? Like, what the fuck? Yo, I respect it, I guess. Yeah, just the Sucio boys running the Sucio Tube site.

God respect it. Shout out to everyone that does not appreciate it because you're throwing off the results. You'll be all right. It's a free site. You got time to dig. Don't complain. Yeah. When you're on page 40 and you haven't found what you wanted. That's your problem. That sounds like a you problem. You have 40 pages of excellence.

No one told you to be on a tube site acting like fucking Goldilocks. Oh, I don't like this. I don't like the angle on this. Or I don't like her tits after she has surgery. Or this is not 720. Take it easy, pals. All right? Okay. All right. Some of us are veterans. Some of us have enjoyed reverse porn. Oh, man. Porn with a logo as backwards. Oh, God. You don't even mind. Okay? And you're such a savage. You're just like, I can't jerk.

off to us because I know she's left-handed. You're like, you know which porn stars are left-handed? They're like, yeah, bro, who doesn't? Yeah.

yeah love to see it bro i've been like oh my god hold on a second no this is out of control i'm like yo i'll be oh nah yeah no what happened i was just like you know what let me just let's just read some comments let me look at some comments and i'm like no no never mind forget it because the best bimbo tits on the internet i hope those tits don't explode while she's fucking she's so fine nice period okay oh also best of the best forex courses for sale for cheap just to name a few

I don't even know what that means. What the fuck is Forex courses? Scamming. Scams? Scams love scams love scams. Let me close this shit. You know they love scamming. Because it's not an incognito.

Do people still use the incognito at this moment? I think after pandemic, people just... Yeah, I don't care. They're like, we were all watching porn during the lockdown. Let's be real. I'm not sure. Yeah, everybody keep it funky. Like, everybody... Like, fam. Like, motherfuckers were posting their dicks. Like, and they're... genitals like you know i'm saying like that's true you know i'm saying also if you want to get freaked out if you have a spank bank account

log in and go all the way to the bottom of the page and click on recommended videos for you and it will show you just how nasty it thinks you are because any fucking video if you watch one of one specific type problematic porn is going to suggest all of them for you. So if you wanted to watch people, I don't know, stepping on balloons or crushing worms or that kind of stuff, there's going to be a lot of that.

And that's when you close your MacBook and you get right with God. You're just like, you know what? I can't live like this. Yes. You know what? I'm going to the morning mass tomorrow. I'm watching 700 Club all day.

That's where you don't even like go to the church. You go to the church when the session already started. You walk directly up to the pulpit and you're just like, father, I need help. And you just collapse. I'm delivered. He's gonna be like, I've seen this before. Those are the eyes of someone who's reached page 70 on Spank Bank. I'm like, bro, none of the videos will do anything for me, bro. Bro, I almost watched a five-minute clip.

a five minute i understand my son i understand my son i understand my son but you you god will take you in his mantle and show you the light You will become a Sarah J soldier and you will fear no more. You will not freely. Just go into the loving arms of Sarah J. Brother, I don't want no more porn.

Niggas just sitting on the floor crying and rocking back and forth like intervention. I'm in the crowd. I'm like, I mean, bro, if you need someone to take those hard drives off. I mean, you know, I got space. You know, I got a storage unit I could use. That's a new show that if the cowards at Showtime would listen, we would bankroll this show. Because they did Wife Swap. We've done House Swap. We're going to do Penal Swap. Where you...

Switch your porn collection with another person at your job. And afterwards you talk about it. No, even better. You switch porn collections with your boss. Yo. Let's go. Yes.

I was about to say, I was about to name some, like, Viacom executives by name, but I will refrain from doing that. But you also got to remember, like, we have employees. Oh. People are going to bring you your lunch to feed someone to find a way. Like, here's your lunch, you nasty motherfucker. Oh, you like oily ass, huh, nigga? Are you one of them motherfuckers that jerks off to PMVs? Nah. Nah. Wow. Wow. Wow.

that's the worst kind of that's yo i wanna i want that shit stricken from the internet fucking pmv i'm like what the fuck does this mean i'm like is this some type of special and then i turned it on it's like you're my butterfly sugar baby like overlaid over like pinot i'm like i don't want i don't want this

I don't want this at all. Poor music video. Every now and then, you have to be careful because sometimes it'll be like a song that you're like, oh, this is a cool song. And they'll be just showing regular scenes and out of nowhere. the volume jumps up and this person's like you're like oh god all the music is wild made

Like, you know what I'm saying? That's the other shit. Like, I don't want to be beating my meter and hear satellite. Like, damn, dog. Like, I'm triggered off to POD? What the fuck is going on here? Like, let me. I mean, that's when you're no longer... At that point, you're not even watching Pinot. You're just killing time. You're exploiting options. You're turning the true sight into dark mode. Come on. I just want to see J.D. Stephens with Corn Rose. Get her backbone out. Okay.

Now you're looking for a profile picture. You're adding a whimsical name. You're adding flair to your account. That's wild. Bro, you're following and you're communicating with other people on the site? Like, it's a networking site and shit? Like, it's LinkedIn? Like, you start talking to people about specific sites you want. You're like, bro. I'll trade you this scene for that. Yo, damn. Bro, it's not crypto. That's the original NFT.

We all know what fungible means. Listen, in 1990, I was fungible. Bitch from Mitchell Project. Yeah. Hey, I got an NFT, so I'm not fucking token. So I'm about to use this scene because I'm not fucking. Yeah. See? Now I had an NFT. You know what it was? It was nasty fungus. I told you. Oh, come on. See? Yo. can't even get a nice chick on arthur avenue anymore they all got the gobble down there oh god i never thought i'd see it a day it's the worst it's the worst

All right. Oh. It's now Christmas season coming up. Damn, they skipped Thanksgiving. They were like, fuck Thanksgiving, dog. We're going straight into Christmas. Eat a dick. Supply chain. Did you see that fucking meme where it's like, yo, a turkey under Joe Biden is now $20 more than it was under Trump. And I'm just like, does Joe Biden set the market price for turkeys?

Is that his job? He's personally, he's personally like collecting the turkeys. Joe Biden got a big old turkey ranch on the back of the White House. He got the stupid little price gun and shit. He's like, every super market. Like, yo, what the fuck?

It's just, it's him and Kamala, they're remaking Simple Life. They're like, I don't know how to, Joe, I don't know how to handle these turkeys. What's going on? Hey, Joe, we did it, Joe. We did it. We got the turkeys to the market, Joe. We got them in the coop, Joe.

I was like, oh, there's so many turkeys. I don't know how to tell them apart. So what I started doing, I put one turkey over there. Because that turkey right there, that's friendly turkey. I call him Charlie. Now that turkey over there... I call that turkey Negro Jamal. Come here, Papa. Come here, Papa. Come, Papa. It's time for your tea.

Negro Jamal. Okay, let's stop talking, Pop. Let's go. Let's go. Come on. I made you a nice hot cocoa. You love hot cocoa, right? Obama was the first black president, but I also meant he was the first president to steal. Grandpa, come on, come on, come on. I mean, look, I put some jelly on your corn muffin. I toasted it just like you like it. Yeah. just come and sit in here get some chamomile tea in you all right just take a nice little nap anybody see my cotton grandpa grandpa

Joe with the gin. Joe with the gin. Joe with the... Gin and Joe? I ain't been on that Jen and Joe. Lay back. Lay back. Put my mind on my mind and my mind, what did I say? I forgot what I said. Who said that? Who said that? Close the door. It's drafty in here. With my mind on my money and my money ketchup sandwich. Like, what? It's like, oh. Hey, where's the fire? By the way, that's why I can never be a firefighter because I'm not going to go put out a fire on a Friday night at 10 p.m. What?

Like, sir, I have three episodes of Succession to binge watch to catch up. So you're going to have to throw some water. I'd be a comedian slash firefighter. I'd get there and I'd be like, hey, guys, the roof. The roof is on fire. They're like, sir. They're like, sir, my children are up there. I was like, no. Oh, God. Oh, God.

I was like, oh, so your kids are afraid of a little fire? I got burnt one time. Even worse, I'm also like, I used to work at Pitchfork before I worked at becoming a firefighter. So I'm like, you know what was good fire? Dragon, opposite of H2O. That was a good album. It was underrated. A lot of people don't remember. I was in the tunnel. It was me, Dragon, and Piggy. Yeah, I taught Biggie everything. I gave Biggie his first koozie sweater. It's true. I saw it. Sex Boogie can attest to that.

Also, shout out to everyone that be lying on Twitter about shit that we can't verify if you're lying about it or not. Because like even with the Travis Scott concert shit, people were just like, I've been to so many concerts. And when I go in like, well, you go in a mosh pit, here are the rules. And then you look, you see the tweet, and you go look at the picture on the Twitter.

And you look at a tweet. And you go look at the picture of the person on Twitter. And you're like, motherfucker, you have never been. Mosh pit? You've never been in a mosh? You've never been in a pit? You've never been in a mosh pit? You've never been in a peach pit? You've never smelt your own armpit? You've never been in no pits. You've never even passed Masha Lou on a train. Stop. You've never did none of that.

None of that. Cut it out. None of that. To say what the, as the kids say, you know what they're doing? Cap it. Hmm? Hmm? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. The Capricarius. The Capricorn. Capricorn. That's what it is. They're Capricorns, okay? Don't get it twisted, because y'all be like, oh, Jesus and Mero are old. They don't know. Listen, you young bucks, we up. We up on your slangs and all that right there. We up and it's stuck. This is no...

Okay. This is a no Capricorn zone. So don't you come out. Don't you be coming here fitting. No, not fitting. Nope. Cut that shit up. Okay. Listen, me and Mero, we fresh to death. All right. You see us out here. We, we, we, we. I was on a... You was on a Tic Tac. I made a Tic Tac dance on Roblox. Roblox. Roblox. He did it.

For a fortnight, I was on Instagram. So, you know, anyway, I got to go. I got to go. My good friend, Alpo, he died last week. I don't know where he died from, but hopefully it's just like some cancer condition for him. Here's what blows my mind. There were people just kind of chilling with alcohol. How does that work? Yeah. You know what's funny? Like...

Alpo is like wild. Alpo is like, for Dominicans, it's like when A-Rod went to play for the US team instead of the Dominican team, and they were like, nah, we don't bang on you no more. That's like Alpo to Dominicans. They're like... No, we don't claim you. Like, you're a snitch. You're Puerto Rican. Y'all niggas was just chilling with... Imagine you're chilling with Alpo. You're just like, yo.

I mean, he killed a couple people and he betrayed their friendship and he robbed people. He's a cool guy. Yeah, he just put niggas away in jail and got motherfuckers killed. But, you know, it's all good. Every time I leave the room, I'm just running back. He's like, ah, just checking. Just checking. Just getting what you up to. Uh-uh. Who you talking to? You just like a jealous boyfriend, like, hovering over him. Like, who you talking to? Who you texting? Who's that?

Bro, bro. Chill, bro. Bro, bro. I mean, I'm running late, Alpo. Don't kill me. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Nah, I ain't gonna kill you, but you know what I'm saying? I might. And then also, it's just like... You're like, yo, that's Alpo. And kids are like, who the fuck is that old man? You're like, yo, he used to run. Nobody wants to do that. That's basically what this generation is going to do with... What's his name?

What's his name? A Boogie with a Hooey. They're going to be like he was one of the scariest rappers at the time. And I'm going to be there. I'm going to help lie too. I'd be like, he ran across. Yo, fam, y'all don't even know, B. He wore the hoodie to conceal his identity because he was running wild on these streets, B. You know what I'm saying? He was catching bodies left and right. You know what I'm saying? He had work coming into Port of Miami.

You know what I'm saying? The long island sound. You know what I'm saying? Like, all that. He had motherfuckers coming in rowboats from Queens, bro. With bricks. You know what I'm saying? Wildin'. I wasn't there. The A Boogie's like, I never did that. Also, you know, if you know, if you realize his name was A Boogie, that means there was a B Boogie and a C Boogie, but we're not against that. They were even more wild. That's for Disney.

That's for Disney Plus. That's coming out next year. So you got to watch out for that. Disney Plus. Yeah, next loss. All right. Well, we'll be all right. We'll bounce back. Yeah, it's fine. Just like New York after 9-11. Just like New York after Hurricane Sandy. Just like New York after Hurricane Ida. Just like New York after the transit strike. Just like New York after... Blackout, Giuliani, 9-11, you name it. We still here. Just like New York after...

Cameron nearly murdered Jay-Z for pointing out the head of New York was wearing chancletas with jeans on the beach. You got chancletas and you got sandals with jeans on and you the king of New York? Wow. Right? Wow. Just like when Jadakiss single-handedly murdered Dipset on stage. That image. That image should haunt every member of Dipset. Like that gif of him going...

It's good, but it's not enough. And he said that shit with conviction, B. And then he took his hat off, and he's like, my headline is still strong. Y'all thought I had a baldy? Nah. I came back. I know. I was like, damn, bro. He came out with the waves and just sunned the entire gypsum. Fuck, bro. And Jim Jones had a leather outfit. And it hasn't really been another really big versus since then.

Like when I was like, yo, what's shaking? What's going on? I was going to say, I was like, is it, is it, is it like, not is it done, but like, is it who, like who else? you know what i'm saying i feel like they did everything they did like the old head verses they did like the real hip-hop you know versus they did the dance hall verses they did the the yo south versus like what's like

You know, what else is there to do? Fucking... Well, they switched it to like a membership thing now where you got to, you pay for, you get, there's like a member, you pay, I think it's $3 for the month and you get to watch all the verses they have, but...

There's not that many people who are interesting enough to have versus. Like, I mean, listen, I, like everyone else, I want the Nina Sky versus Lloyd versus, but I might be the only person I want. So I'm like, yo. Hit him with it. Hit me. Come on, Shorty. Do that Shorty song. Yeah, yeah. Come on, Lloyd. Yeah. Get it, Shorty. Yeah, do that. Do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, Nina. Nina Sky, listen. They got you on the ropes.

I wanted to do this later on in the hour, but you might have to play Move Your Body Now as the first song. And the second song. And maybe the third song, yeah. And if you have a remix, just throw that in there too. This whole verse is only going to be like 10 minutes, I'll be honest. I mean, oh.

jadecus is in the foyer if you want to bring him in to dubai side i think that might work maybe that might work but i mean you weren't even on that oh i'm sorry loy do the song do the song find two or five yeah i love that And when you get on stage, say that part out loud. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool. Cool. He was... Nina Sky, bring out your third sister and blow everyone's minds and tell them you were triplets. Yeah, yeah. It was a way for that. Yeah.

This one has half of a head shave, then long hair on the other half. Whoa! It's like a combination. And I'm ready for that. Yo, damn. Oh, there's a concert that in Florida and the head performer brings a guy on stage and just peed on his face. Wow. Wow. gushing it out and it's like cold so there's like steam coming off the piss wow wow right click save yeah i was like uh can you upload that to spank bank please

We're on Zoom. Everyone's like, Jesus, can you share your screen? I was like, I already was, bro. Yo, he said you can see piss coming. It's Steve coming off the piss. What kind of show? Is this a hip-hop show? Is this one of the city girls peeing on somebody's face? No. It's a rock show. Of course, yes. it's a rock show but you know it's uh be sure to look out for that and uh when we start touring again we're gonna pee on your face

Actually, you know, the last person to pee on their fans. Oh, yes, that's true. Let's not. Let's not pee on our fans.

We're not going to pee on people. We're going to piss on other podcasts because another illustrious episode 253 of the legendary Blue Digga Boys podcast. It's your boy Deezus Nice, AKA Young Chipotle, AKA Pockets, they fat like Tyrio, AKA Pockets, they fat like, here we go. Shout out to Tyrio. He's everywhere because he got healthy, he lost weight, and he's rapping. But...

It's also still a cautionary tale because everyone's like, oh, he got better. He's like healthier now. But what if like being a chubby little meme was the high point for his life? You never know. Like what if... What if he never accomplished this thing after this anymore? And he just gets a regular job at Mining Key. And then he's like, he's all diesel now. And he's like, yo, I remember Little Terrio? That's me. And they're like...

Get the fuck out of here, bro. You, like, 250, like... You got A-Pack. Cheerio died, bro. What are you talking about? Oh. Listen, I don't know how to tell you this, but please don't talk to me in an overkill. Because they don't exist. But also, they don't. And I might have to retire that because... No, actually no, because they might bring it back one day. And if they do...

We'll feel weird, but it'd be worth it. And also, you know, we're still not talking to people. No, we don't do that. We don't fucking know you. We don't do that. You know what I'm saying? What's that? Not making friends? It's a post-pandemic. Making friends post-pandemic with people? Nah. Nah, we're not doing that. Just because you survived doesn't mean I want to talk to you. No! I don't want to talk to you, dawg. Okay. I don't know what the fuck you were doing this whole time, you bozo.

Get your shit together, bro. You know what I'm saying?

Tufon Jones, DSX Machina, Jay Chuckle, Stanley Cups, the human Dr. Bonner's label, Daloo, Daloo, Daloo. Dianardo the Trappio. Shit. You know what I'm saying? Because I like my pinot blurry. It's Mr. 240p. And listen, it's DJ Woolite. You're listening to Watch The Fam. And you know what? I feel like we haven't been playing enough for the classics. That's right.

I feel like we've been kind of backspotted. Yeah, through that classic shit. Not giving you that real hip-hop. We haven't been giving you that shit. You know what I'm saying? That stand on the corner. Real shit. Let's go, baby. Drop that shit. One of the ghosts. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. I'm a cold piece of work. When she see me, she hurt. I attract like magnets when I get it. Give it up for God. Give it up for Bob. He's a guy. He's a pussiologist.

Yeah, he also said he attracts shit like a magnet. Get out of here. The Curry Goat, the Spicer, Javon Ashburn. The Broxelene Dion, Ray Nephew's nephew, the Moreno you can't contain-o, the human memory, where'd the job? Young Aaron, the racist provocateur, Henry Budcoast, Nelson Mandela, Sergio Can't See Me, Vladimir Bufin, the human worth is melting in your mouth.

Mr. Becks on Decatur, Ricky Tiki Squabby, Greg Popovich, Morrissey Chestnut, Mahatma Gombe, not Magabee, but I got your cucumber, not Magabee, but I got a cucumber, not Magabee, but I got a cucumber, Ola in the morning. The juices are pressed, but your boy never is. I am the art, damn it. The Dun Dotted Ganoush, normal cup of noodles, the Prince of Pekka. The Fashion Nova Casanova, we made cents, five cents, ten cents, dollar. Forget the small change, give me big money wine.

The only anthem, my salute is Dipset. Mississauga, catch me at square one. Top left, cause man's his marv. Chills with a holy cow. Mississauga, all I do is count checks and jerk off. We got OJ, purple stuff, soda, and it's me, Sonny D.

David Yer, man. These are expensive. These are red bottoms. These are bloody shoes. Smokey Noah, Andrew Cunanan, a.k.a. the Junior Energy God Junior. Couldn't sit down, palmy charger. Call me Petco because I got your bitch on freeze. To talk about gossip and siosset, shout out to the 11791. Ah, ah, ah. Okay, Grandpa Joker, when you see Charlie, you see me, don't touch that green ticket.

It's your man Dead Eye Deezus. Mourning the sheriff be a real shame if I stole some more NFTs and put them on the fly. I'm out of here. and a cold demeanor. The sheet mask killer. The blacks like Morris, the poor Morris, young KPI. It's your personal Jesus, aka the Pele in Peloton, J.P.I. Cueso.

Inspector Teradek, Nickelback Sarkozy, James Vaxxin, Broxiana Bayou, aka Problematic Babe. Remember, it's not a secret family if you don't really get them vaxxed, but you told them they got vaxxed. I'm saying it. And you're just using their deaths to fund you. Am I wrong for that? Or am I an entrepreneur? Listen. Judge me. Smart. Don't judge me. That's called business acumen. Exactly. It's called ROI.

All right, pal. It's your motherfucking boy. The Kid Merrill, a.k.a. The Human Durag, a.k.a. Donovan McDapp, a.k.a. Curve Gotti, a.k.a. Dries Khalifa. You okay? That's right, baby. A.K.A. skirt-loader. Jump the curb at your fucking dog and keep it moving. Ask me if I give a fuck. I'm sorry. The leash was not six feet long. We're still in a pandemic. Okay?

all right i don't fucking baby i'm fucking man you know what i'm saying don't need to check the guest list because we are at capacity and i'm getting it first because i got the juice baby aka cc dad bathia you know saying catch me in my uh chamber Doing highly concentrated hits at THC. You know what I'm saying? A.K.A. Tiger Backwood. Smoking three grand blunt. And hit you with this nine iron. You dig? A.K.A. Getting to the shmoney in the smoke. It's your boy, Goldman Schmack.

you know what i'm saying aka mesh montana hey i went from uh rodent cd my cookies to a toto that cleans my tookie yeah so i think i'm doing pretty well for myself i think thank you uh listen I got my kids. You know what I'm saying? Coming off the bench for the Knicks. You know what I'm saying? Just in case. You know what I mean? Because we're going to the playoffs this year. Eastern Conference Finals.

and I am the dad of the year. You know what I'm saying? Got them in there on 10-day contracts. You dig? A.K.A. Bench Smack Viumbo. A.K.A. D.A.O. Metadonna. A.K.A. Dick in the Bay Mutombo. You don't call me this pussy no more. This pussy belong to me.

You know, actually, let me walk that back. Pussy belongs to you and you alone. Therefore, I must ask permission and receive enthusiastic consent before we engage in court as my queen. Thank you. Thank you. You know what I'm saying? Respect that. I respect that. aka barlow's antenna so smooth i fall asleep at the wheel and crash the zip card and i jump out and book it you know what i'm saying because it's a honda civic b

She had like 100,000 miles on her already. You know what I'm saying? A.K.A. the Dominican Dottie with Daddy. A.K.A. Romeo Santos. Tu favorito, mami. So sanny. Let me black out. Wow. What happened last night? I don't care. But I know. My mustache looks like your D.D. You know what I'm saying? A.K.A. I'm gonna swipe my card again. There's definitely money on that shit. Stop trying to play me before I call you a manager that DVRs the show and embarrass you, B.

Don't worry about how high I am. Just put the motherfucking Reese's in the bag, dawg. And keep it moving. Yes, I'm glad you enjoyed the interview with The Rock. It was stellar. You're welcome. You know what I'm saying? A.K.A. Letting El Dutchie. Hello. Is it weed you're looking for? I can see you in your eye That you've been coronified So I cannot share this blunt

With you. You know what I'm saying? We're smoking personals. You dig? A.K.A. Professor Hornel West. Professor of black dot com studies. You know what I'm saying? At the Institute of Horny Niggas. You know what I mean? A.K.A. Feel the ass tights and I won't exploit your casuals, man. Especially that milky cow. That milky way of discharge. Because I'm a sushi boy certified.

You know what I'm saying? A.K.A. right now I'm the MVP of Gelato. A.K.A. Lil Snoozy Vert. First thing I'm going to tap out on live. Been social distancing before Rona. A.K.A. Joe Hookah. I dare you to smoke with me. At Mama Sushi, you know what I'm saying? We had 150% capacity. You know what I'm saying? We don't care. We are soft. You know what I mean? AK, I'll open your medicine cabinet. You know who the fuck it is, baby. It's the Zen Man.

A.K.A. Baby Newport 2. Five Nicks Got Garbage Down The Way. A.K.A. Rico Sabroso. A.K.A. Nino Brown Sugar Carter Down. For one hour. Just saying it's high school purposes. You know what I'm saying? A.K.A. Live from the Cross Bronx Expressway, graciously accepting your donations of a granola bar, is the E-Stream on Stevie B doing all his greatest hits like, I want to be the one your titi is fucking. Sing it! And don't sing like...

Don't let me leave. You know what I'm saying? A.K.A. I met my princess. I'm never going to fail. You know what I'm saying? A.K.A. Back out today. Outed in Cali. So Cal. It's the God. Parmellos Anthony.

He got the straight backs and he's going straight back to shooting threes in ISO. He's pulling up for 40. Goddamn. Bang. LeBron watches from the bench and his hairline just fell off. Holy moly guacamole. Melo's back. That's right, baby. A.K.A. Listen, mate. Uh. it's been a while but i have to inform you lot that there continues to only be two rock stars left in the podcast game of which i am one The plant is souping over in the sky One day you will find me Smoking weed or dreamer

Stitching on you via the Citizen app. You know what I'm saying? Cause you know what I mean? I made a little money and shit and I'm like looking out my window like trying to clean up the neighborhood. You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying? Actually, no, I'm not. I'm letting motherfuckers run wild. That's what we do. You know what I'm saying? We'll take it once forever. You know what I'm saying? AKA, if you see me, a target higher than Bull Bull helping Anthony Davis put in a light bulb.

in a museum approach me like a motherfucking earth sign mammal dog because i mean react erratically and take a swipe at you especially if i move on motherfucking cubs you know i'm saying aka Oh, hey kids, it's Fento the Clown. I'm here for your kid's birthday party. There's no more social distancing, which is great. Because I can go and Captain's Deposit and Mr. Fun Fun can get close to your kids.

Hey, kids. Hey, kids. Like, you guys play Fortnite? You guys want to? You know what? I'm not going to do that joke. I'm not going to do that joke. We're going to. I don't know. I knew where I was going with that, and I'm not proud of myself, so let's keep the credits going. For me to be like, yo, this is too far. For a Mr. Fun. I don't even want to hear it. Tell me after. Tell me after all the recording devices are turned off. Jesus. Jesus. He might be cranking 90s, bro.

I sold fake lead to your favorite SoundCloud rapper. I have given up on recipes altogether and I am just pouring the garbage juice out of my recyclables bin every week and collecting it. So I don't even know what the fuck is in this shit. So enjoy. Lil' pump when you make your next album. You know what I'm saying? And now it is the time for me to go in ESL language and say...

Asentínimelo, fucking Vista, coño. Ay, chiquiando qué bobo. Llegó el hijo de Chitty Fifa, coño. El malo que estoy bajando con la pampa, aprendí el modo Chuquetibau. No me decotora, coño, que el palo que tiene el distrito del tumbar. Coco, caco y niema. X mero, pero los capos, los chiperos y los cueros. Estamos fríos en todos los bloques, you know what I'm saying? En todos los barrios. Yo. Tengo un punto 40. Tengo un punto 40. You know what I'm saying? Y te sazono plomo.

You know what I'm saying? Shout out Kasha Showtime Shout out El Patrocinador Kasha You know what I'm saying? Shout out Hassan Insane Que pone la fucking nota Shout out This is bueno La nota jamakina You know what I'm saying? Victor Martel Papa de la Lady You know what I'm saying? I love you. you I don't know what to say. I say that to say this. Get the facts.

Wear your mask so you can see your boys live, B. You know what I'm saying? We thirsty. We want to get out there. Let's make it happen. You know what I'm saying? Then episode 253. Make it there. Yeah. You know, the vibes. They just announced the next Versus is Bone Thugs-N-Harmony versus Triple... Oh! That could be a new one. That could be a new one. Okay. That could be a banger.

But sadly, the only verses that you really care about is the verses where Satan and Jesus are fighting for your soul. You sinners, open your Bible. Good night. We out. Just want to say one last thing.