#112 - Jillian Jacqueline (Part 2)

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the Italian style shrimp and sweet peppers. Over for goal less arta pasta, you can make that the Parmesan crusted steaks and mash. But I feel like there's a big build up to me the food I don't hear, Yeah, are the quick bout yeah yeah? Or listen, there's a lot just go look at it. Blue Apron dot Com slash Bobby Cast a great sponsor of the Bobby Cast. As we get into part two of this, Blue Apron is a better way to cook. Thank you for listening. I use it. I think it's really fantastic. So as

we're here, here were you? We are the second part of this with Jillian Jacqueline and it was going so well the first time, I thought, let's just break it up into two, So the first time I've ever done a part two with an artist. If you listen to this now, check out part one with Jillian because some of this may not make sense if you don't hear

part one, so check that out. In part two, there's a whole story that coming up about a monk I'll just leave it there, or how she met a monk and it changed her course of her life, and it's pretty wildly. Let me recommend to you the Red Aikins episode and the Morgan Number two episode and the Bobby Cast as well. Jake Owen has a good podcast called Good Company with Jake Owen. The guys at Whiskey Riff have a very fan oriented podcast called Whiskey Riff Raff,

so check that out. And then new one from Velvet's Edge, which is Style Fashion that starts April fourth. So I don't know when you hear this, but thank you very much. Let's get into episode part number two. There we go, Thank you very much. Is episode one last twelve Holy keep all right, Jillian Jacqueline, here you go. All right, back part two of the Jillian Jacqueline Bobby Cast. You like the chairs, I really like them. It's sort of

one of those chairs where you can't sit up. You have to sit back and relax, so you just kind of feel like you're doing like an awkward lean back and your neck feels weird. But and then all of a sudden you've become still relaxed. You just still like crying and talking about your mom. People have cried in

here before. Yeah, yeah, well we talked about this. Um let me say this because the last one we left off on was I got the weirdest text from Jillian before you get to my house, Because first of all, I said, hey, if you want to bring your fiance, bring them because I like them most of the time people to come do this, they may bring somebody if I know that very well. Um so a lot of times they won't. Sometimes they won't. It just depends. But I was like, hey, I like your fiance. If you

guys are just tell him to come over. I'm cool, like I'm going out, yeah, and you're like, no, now coming alone. So I said, okay, cool, cool, cool, And then you said yeah, but give me water. And I was like, you know, this is a newer model home, like we have an icebox. That was just me being weird, but I just I was really thirsty and I didn't know if I should stop at a gas station for some water. We had water like bottles water, it's drinks in smart water. Yeah I did. I don't I have to.

I have to peel a lot, usually too much information, but I don't want to have to get up. I have a whole peeing thing where I try to hydrate myself because we're always dehydrated, always humans, always dehydrated, and if we don't, even if we don't feel it, we're still dehydrated. But if you drink the right amount of water, you have to pee all the time, which it keeps you up at night and you're not giving the right sleep.

It's just a mess. I know on plane, this mess as you would say that I just made on the floor, because yeah, on trains, train, on planes, um and plays, you know, you gotta keep drinking water for your skin to stay hydrated. But then you have to get up. I am always the person on planes who's like everyone's like she's walking back there again, like constantly just going

back to go pe. So do you eyele it? Then if you have to be all the time, because if you don't aiel it in your windowing it, you have to make people move. Yeah, I always try to eyeland. Well. The good thing with me and Brian, my fiance, we he travels with me because he plays guitar for me, so I always have a guaranteed like seat holder. And he is one of those people that he goes on the app for the UM airline like two days before

to make sure he has the right seat. I'm not that kind of person, but he always makes sure he will never sit at the window. That would make him panic. So I only said at the window, what if you have to climb over? What if they fall asleep? That's my worst nightmare. Well, so that happens, and I will if I don't know the person, I won't. I'll just hold it internally injured myself. I know, well, but most

of the time I'm not. Might Be always travels with me because he produces the radio show on the road or he didn't really does that. He does ten minutes stand up before I go out, He sell merch, he does everything, so he rides and he either was sitting aisle or he also knows if I don't want to sit by anyone, so he just eliminates the person syndrome. He's always feel like somebody's sitting next to me and they're sick, and I mean it's sick, I can't do

the show. Yeah, you wear those little masks, ever I don't, Yes, if I think they scare people, So I don't want to wear one if I'm sick because I'm worried about other people, because I wish they would be worried about me, which they're not. I'll cover my mouth. Yeah. When I was in Japan, everybody wore them, everybody, and I said, this is the greatest culture ever. There's no litter. People have on masks. They're kind. I was like an NBA player. I was walking around having a duct was on that.

And I've never been anywhere in my life. I go up in Arkansas until I was twenty seven. Any vacation, right and ever? Anywhere? Yeah? What did Japan? I was like, what, it's a different world. I've never been there. My mom's been. She said it was very clean. She said, what you said, and she said on like the public transportation. Everyone sits like not. They don't touch each other like in New York City. They don't get close, and they if they cough,

you know, the coffer quiet the Yeah, it's amazing. It's pretty cool. And I'm tall, Yeah you'd be you'd be average. Yeah that's awesome. Oh well, so I went to Thailand after college for three months and I was like a giant white Wow, just went to Thailand for three months. Yeah. Well, I went to Thailand and then Vietnam and Cambodia with my mom. She lives in Thailand, so I went with her right like literally the day after I graduated college, I flew to Bangkok and I lived there. I taught

English at a school. Yeah, what is happening here? Yeah, tell me about this and what's that. What's that experience? Like, Um, it's incredible. It was. I got restless after a while because I needed something to do. But I randomly met this monk when I was like at a temple walking around just as a tourist. Yeah, and I it is such a weird story. But you know the monks, they wear orange robes, but they also carry cellphones like in their robes today. This was, I mean how many years ago?

Seven years ago? So anyway, I this monk came up to me and he was like, I had this cell phone. He was talking to someone on the phone and he handed it to me and this woman he knew I was American obviously, and so this woman was on the other end of the line and she was like, Hello, do you speak English? And I said yes, and she said hi, I'm so and so, um, he handed me the phone because he knows you can speak English. Um, our English teacher just broke her leg. She like tripped

on the street. Um do you want to teach English at our school? I'm not kidding? And I was like, um sure, And I actually had wanted to get my teaching certificate to teach English. So I was like, the gods have like shined down on me, and I just did it. I taught these kids at this school at the temple for about a month and I had no idea what he was doing, but I just kind of like so I didn't speak high so all they wanted

me to do was read them English words. They wanted me to read to these kids in English and explain like, you know, show a picture of a ug and say bug, show a picture of fork and say fork, like that kind of thing. They were like six and seven years old. So a monk with a cell phone got you a job teaching English in Thailand? Is that the greatest story you've ever heard in the podcast? But this is the point of the story, is he knew I was American because I I was massive compared to all these tiny

Thai people. And I was like sweating all the time because I wasn't used to the heat, and you know, I yeah, I just like stood out like a sore thumb. So I did that, and then um, you know, we went to Vietnam and Cambodi and just kind of explored and then I honestly I had one of my crying on the bathroom floor moments there and I was like what am I doing. I have to go back to start my life because I just graduated, and I I

really wanted to get to Nashville. So I I left and flew back, and then I was at my dad's house for like a couple of weeks, and then he flew me down in Nashville with I had like one bag, and my sisters already lived here. They were signed to Sony Bobby shaming me my mouth noises, That's just how I cleared my throat to go before the podcast said, Hey, you're popping a bit like the first time. All right,

all right, I'm very conscious of it now. Um So, anyway, my sisters were already living in Nashville, signed to Sony as the Luna Bells, and so I moved in with them. I like slept on a foodton in my sister's room. No. Two older and one younger. So they were a band, all of them without you. Um, we grew up in a family band to the four of us. Now I knew you did that. I knew there was a group, a sister dynamic. What are you called, like the Little Women or something? Okay, yeah, but wait, how did you

get disconnected from them? Though? When I was sixteen and when our parents around the time that our parents were getting divorced. It took a couple of years. I decided to leave the band. I wanted to go back to high school for two years, and I wanted to do my own thing creatively as an artist. So I was working with my own producer and um, going to high school and yeah, I just kind of exited the family group.

You left, the group of sisters. Yeah, and then they moved to Nashville without me and they got a deal. Are you like, what was that thinking? Yeah, for a minute, I was pretty like, Wow, would they have let you back in? I don't think so. My sister took over lead singing and so I band. Yeah, dah yeah, but it's all it worked out the way. What are they doing now? Um, they're in New York City in l A and one of them is a mom. Yeah, oh my gosh. My youngest sister, Gaby is an incredible artist.

She just randomly started painting and she's incredible. I'm not kidding. Like, she has an Instagram. It's Gabrielle Luccia. It's Gabriella Luccia, Gabriella, Gabriella with one ELM, Gabriella Lucci l u c I A and I think it's Gabrielle Lucia Arts. That's her Instagram. She's so great, she's she's so good. She was the drummer and she's a really good drummer. And honestly, when I can, I want to bring her on the road with me. I want her to be my drummer. Yeah,

that would be really cool. But right now she's in New York City and she loves it there. And then my other sister, Dominique, is in l A. She actually dates Shawn Watkins from Nickel Creek and they tour together. She plays piano. They make records and they're happy and in love and they have chickens and silver Lake very l A. That's cool. Yeah, wow, look at you. You You leave the sister band where you're the lead singer. What balls? Yeah? Yeah,

it was time. They were pissed, and my mom was pretty upset too because she had sort of been our manager for most of our childhood and she didn't want us to be broken up. But it started happening more so when I was young, because I was with Kenny Rogers and his management company only wanted to sign me when I was because you were the singer. Yeah, because I was the singer and and uh, you know, I

had started sort of the whole thing. So that sort of became an issue because I was getting opportunities on my own without them, and I kind of liked that. But they were still good enough without you to get a record deal. They were great. You guys must have been phenomenon. The lead singer and the group. Well, we're all very driven, passionate people, and nothing was going to stop them. And they were very talented. They are very talented, so and they wanted it, you know. So you come,

first of all, where are you born? Chester Springs, Pennsylvania. Okay, so what's Chester Springs, Pensylvania Like. It's a boring suburb outside of Philadelphia. It's got a couple of high schools. It's like it kind of looks like Franklin, Tennessee when you drive out too. So how did you get into country music? My mom is from Charleston, South Carolina, and she just only ever listened to country, and so from the time I was a baby, I mean, we only

listen to country. Patsy Klein was the first thing I heard and then you know, all the nineties country. I really didn't grow up with the super traditional, like I didn't listen to a lot of Whalen Jennings or Merle Haggard or Johnny Cash. I got into that stuff later. It was more so nineties like whatever was on the radio on like the popular country radio station. So you know, Tricia Yearwood and Patty Lovelace and um. I was a huge fan of just you know, all of them. I mean,

Garth Brooks, Trace Adkins, whatever, Dwight Yoakum. You know. So you go and you're playing music with your sisters, you're being schooled, I'm assuming on the road, yeah, but out I mean homeschool feels like you're in the only in the house, but you're traveling, right. Yeah. Yeah, we did a lot of road tripping. We actually had laptops and there was a curriculum on the laptop that we would all learn from. Drink water. I think you pulled it up.

Have a drinking yeah so much. Yeah. No, we were all sort of taught to gravitate towards the things that we really enjoyed, and we had to obviously do all the subjects. But like I loved history and language arts, and I wanted to write and read books all day. So that's what I did most of the time. Yes, I have, I want to. Yeah I will eventually, at some point we'll hold up somewhere and start writing everything

down because my childhood was was pretty insane. So you want to write a nonfiction Oh yeah, I want to write like my the story. Yeah yeah, it's interesting. I mean, maybe not like for anyone else to read, but I just want to write. I want to process it though.

I was talking about this with Brian the other day, Sorry, my fiance, and I was saying how I read books when I was younger, these autobiographical books by incredible authors, and they would describe to me their lives and when when they were kids and their parents, and they would do it with such reality that I would relate my own life to them, and and it would make me think about my parents the way they thought about theirs.

And so I think there's like power to sort of telling your story because it encourages other people to think about there's that way too. I think you bring up a good point and something I didn't learn until I actually wrote a book. And I never planned to write a book, like a book that adults would read. I wanted to write a kid's book, and I put out a kid's record and the record was actually pretty good for a kid's record. I thought it was, and it

sold well. Cracker Barrel bought it and they just sold it. Cracker Barrel was like it was it was a good enough kids record to like matter, and I said, okay, Like, I want to provide an influence for children because I didn't have many positive influences. And so I started shopping this kid's book idea. Nobody wants it. No one knows who I am. You're not supposed to. I'm going to New York in la office. They don't have think about contry music. I don't think about my radio show, nor

should they. But nope, nope, nope, over and over nope, no no, so n no. I'm in the office and they say, hey, the idea of the kids book idea. There's there's a lot of kids books and they're expensive, but you should hire an illustrator. And but your life story, we were wicked pitting you tell us about your life story. I said, okay, here's what happened. To tell my story. So when you write a book about that, And I thought,

I'll try, but I don't think anybody can relate. And I don't think anyone wants to hear my story because who cares? That's what I really what I thought, like, who's gonna care what I have to say? And so I write this book and I'm miserable the whole time. No I'm telling you that to me because I haven't reliving it sucks, but I you know, I go to a therapist for that, and sometimes I just hide it

and stuff in the hole and doesn't come out. But I just felt embarrassed because I thought, here's this book that I put a lot of me into that nobody's gonna care about because no one's gonna understand that. No one's gonna read it. But I would go out too shows and listeners will go, hey, you know what, it really resonant and it was one of the small details. And I thought, knowing what every even, it has to be like with music, when you put a song out and someone goes, oh that song, I get, this is

how it relates. And that's what happened to me with my book. Did I I just thought it was the most uninteresting self and all get times the piece of garbage. But it was honest, interesting and I felt horribly embarrassed. Well, you're so right, though, Like I don't think we all realize how alike we are in our stories, you know. I think when we all really start looking at like the intricacies of our lives, we all have really weird

ship going on, and we don't talk about it. We don't talk about it, which is but it's not it's normal for all of us if we were honest. You know that. My second book it's really about that. It's about how we don't talk about all the crappy stuff we go through, the failures because it's not cool to share it, so then we feel like we're doing it alone. Totally. Yeah. I talked to Lori McKenna about this, because you know, I've always looked at her songs as these like microscopes

on life and on marriage and family. And she puts in all the details like the color of the dress and the water coming from the kitchen sink and the where where the sun was and whatever the dirt on the floor, and it's so specific. That's why it resonates, because she's actually painting the picture for you and you

can see yourself in that story. And um, you know, I think sometimes what frustrates me about popular music is the lack of color, the lack of truth, Like I want to know what you were doing in that moment, you know, not just what like anyone can relate to. And I'm sorry, I'm trying. I'm pulling this over into songwriting.

But for me, yeah, I mean for me, that's like, you know, that's what I'm always trying to figure out how to do better in songs, is to like tell people something that no one else could tell them except me, but that they will understand. Yeah, that feels hard to do. Yeah, I think that's why a few people can do it. AT's just such a high level. Yeah, that's why Laurie is fantastic at what she does. You know, you hear

a humbling kind Laura. That's prob girl. I meant, just google Laura McKenna and you'll see all the big songs she's written. But I think the simplicity yet the depth of humble and kind if you can nail them both, and she did in that song. She did. She's one of the few that her natural instincts have turned into hit songs like that. She writes them all by herself, and uh, you know it's yeah, that's that's rare because that's just what she does, like as an artist herself.

But when Tim mcgrassings it actually works too, So you know, that's an incredible accomplishment. I'm still learning from her all the time. Could I Do It? Commercial? The I R S released their annual Dirty Dozen list of tax scams, and phone scams top the list. In the most common scam, callers pose as I r S representatives. They tell taxpayers they owe money and they have to pay promptly or be punished. Some people do and then they're out money.

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song here, You've got all of this is reasons. This is the one that's making a big play at the radio chart right now. So how did you guys decide on this song? You have? You know, you go, you have this whole packet of songs because you didn't just make one and go this is the one. Get a whole handful of songs. This was the song I was most excited about. Honestly, this song felt really brave and bold and production wise, it really excited I did me. I felt like tofer and I kind of did something

that we hadn't done before and it felt like really new. Um, it felt like me like I haven't heard I don't want to be a quit or. I don't want to have to day answer, Like everybody asked me, why what do you think hearing this song now? For the time, Like what's going through your head? Right? Then it can be maybe just want to get out of here? But what's going Uh? It feels weird that that's like that

actually happened to me. What happened to you? Um that after being with someone for that long, like it completely just like fell apart and then I wrote songs about it. I've never been that person. So when I like really started writing songs in Nashville, I was dating that person, so and I was writing pretty um songs that had nothing to do with love. I actually was like, adamantly, I don't want to write about relationships. I have other things to say. I put out an entire EP that

was not about love and relationships at all. I was like, I'm bored. I don't want I don't want to be a female talking about that stuff. So I avoided it at all costs. And also, I don't know how to say this, but I really didn't have the inspiration to write love songs in the relationship that I was in. And that sounds harsh, but it's kind of true. I

just I wasn't there in my heart. So now hearing this back and realizing that I literally that happened, and that happening to me became the the moment that my entire perspective as a songwriter shifted. It was almost like it had to happen. It had to happen for me to get to where I am now, because I mean, those songs wouldn't exist, obviously, and that level of transparency in me as an artist wouldn't exist. I mean, I put my story into these songs, and he was a

real person. He is a real person, you know, we had a real life together. And oh now it's sad, I guess, but it also feels weird that, like all these wonderful things have happened in my career because of that honesty. Do you feel that your pain has has been what's been the catapult of your creativity, so therefore you must suffer more pain to create more? Are you one of those Well, I agree with the first half. I'm still struggling with the second half of what you

said of I need to suffer more. I think I believe that for a long time, I think part of me still feels like art is suffering, and um, life isn't supposed to be happy, you know. I think life is supposed to be interesting. Um, they're supposed to be happy moments. But I think I've always sort of found this beauty in like the very dark stuff. And uh, I'm trying to figure out if if I know how to be an artist without without the heavy stuff. You know, I'm a big believer that pain is the only reason

that I'm able to do anything creative. And it's a bad place, and I'm told I have to get out of the Yeah, I probably do too, But again, Adele is Adele for a reason. I mean, we love listening to her sing about her heartbreak because it feels so raw and real when she does it. So I I have argued that for a long time that all of the greatest people in the world were so tortured, I mean,

the greatest of anything that they could do. The artists, you know, the painters, the singers, the writers were i mean alcoholics and just completely miserable for most of their existence. Why maybe, because that level of suffering allows you to tap into like the most real form of being a human. I have this argument with one of my friends. All the time that I think to be truly different and creative, something has to be off about you or you're not

able to produce something that's off. What do your friends say? No, no, no, he's he says, no, man, you can just be really good at something. So yeah, there's a difference. Yeah. I think in order to do something that's off, you have to kind of be off someone from a well adjusted with no sign of mental illness. Because I think I have a bit of that, like I really do. And I don't say it's a stigma because I I what do you mean? I think that you have to produce

something that's different. You have to be different, and something has to be affecting that different. It could be how you're going up, It could be something chemically, it could be something you put in yourself with chemicals. But I think that to put out different, you have to be different. And he just doesn't agree. No, No, a lot of well adjusted Uh you know, yeah, I would agree with

you on that. I think that people people that have something a little bit off or unique, or they just seem sort of like hell bent to make their life really difficult. Those are the people that are crazy enough to really sit in like the ship of life. Like they will sit there and they will think about it, and they will write about it, and they will cry about it, and I will feel it or they'll like do something to know how much they feel it. But it has to be an extreme one way or the other. Yeah.

I think it's hard to produce something different if you're not different. And I think that it's hard to actually talk about the difficulties without having been in them. You know. I if I go, let's say I'm getting married, I'm not gonna go to a priest. It's never been married. And I have this problem with therapist. If they haven't been through some real garbage times, how are they going

to understand what I've been through? And I don't think I've been to the worst, but I need someone that can only understand which So do you like vet them sit down? So what's your childhood? Like you can laugh at that's exactly where. Yeah, And they don't want to share a lot of times, but that's okay. I can feel them out because I need to know how they grew up, because how are they going to understand me if they don't understand what I've come from? Again, not

the best not the worst. So you don't think like a healthy objective viewpoint is necessary. I think healthy is relative. Yeah, I guess you're right. I think healthy is completely relative. And I don't think anyone really has a healthy viewpoint an objective, yes, and that's why I go. But I don't think anyone's healthy. I don't think that exists. Well, I think a good therapist should be able to tell you about their stuff, like I think they should divulge

and not make you feel so alone. So with me, now, I'm have a guy, I'm not I can't stay with a guy and he's fantastic. I just I grew up with a mom. Then I was adopting my grandma for a bit, and my mom left and my mom, uh my grandma had me, and then I had a bunch of sisters. So only I'm comfortable with women. So to talk to a dude is so uncomfortable for me, and it's not fair to him. But if I can't feel like in a safe spot, yeah, you're gonna have a break up coming, I know, but I don't. I just

don't feel comfortable. It's and I have trouble anyway connecting. Yeah, Well, I lie in my song last night, This song I played, um tragic. You know, it says I found a cheap therapist. I haven't. I don't. I went to someone like two times and she's awesome, but I have yet to find like an actual therapist that I want. Though, until you

spend five times with them, you just didn't go enough. Yeah, you just, I mean really well, I'm the kind of person I walk in there and I'm like, okay, beyond your best behavior, just say all the right things, like I try to win them over. Like that's so counterproductive to what's happening here. It's like dating or a reality show, meaning eventually the cameras are just there at first, like cameras there. We gotta be act a certain ways that eventually you're just on the real world and the cameras

are there and it's just a part of life. Yeah. I found that if I don't invest time and dating them, how am I going to marry them? So I have to date. And it's what's the longest relationship you've had with a therapist? Probably four years? And I moved from all and I still would FaceTime and then it was just like a long distance relationship with face and then I just so you know, you needed the physical concept. I needed to be held accountable and on FaceTime, you're

not held accountable. And this other guy went too, was younger. He's like a fe years younger than Yeah. I was like, you're talking about you younger than I felt like going, hey, dude, I'll call the shots here. I'm a few years older. Yeah, this session is over. Well. I kind of always feel like I have the worst, darkest thoughts that I could tell no one, and I don't. I don't want to be sitting across from this person thinking, oh my god, if they knew that what I've thought, like, that would

be horrible. Like I I need to be with someone that can get in the trenches with me, which they need to understand. She's back to my point. Yeah, you don't want someone that has never been in the trenches to get in the trenches, right, Yeah, that's true. But

you know, I don't listen. I don't know you're meant I have to go to someone sometimes just no, I should probably going regularly with the way my life is right now, there's a lot of things changing and happening, and you know, I'm one of those people where I will go until I break, like until I have to be in bed for a full day because I can't function, Like I will do that just because have you done the angiogram? No, but everybody talks about it, right, Well,

you're definitely a three, So I'm a three anyway. I we are the achiever, but I'm pretty sure you're three. But like the three is so good at when everything's busy and there's chaos and lots going on, we're like, yes, like coasting, so happy, functional, yes, But the minute that something changes from that, we panic and we like spiral so fast and we just crave like busy, busy, busy, always busy. And so to actually have to look ourselves in the mirror and like think about ourselves and our

lives is so painful. Like I can't meditate to save my life. I have tried and tried. You it's so hard for me. Yeah, I just ended turning TV LAMB back on, and I'm like a screw it, turned mom or friends back on because I've tried. It's really hard. I had a terrible PTSD. I've been robbed and jumped a few times, and so just in different places with work, people have put guns to my head and you know, just a man, I've had some crazy experience and it

really eff me up. Yeah, I've never had that, and so I couldn't sleep for years, and now I got addicted sleeping bills because it's the only way I was sleeping. And so I was like, okay, I'm just gonna meditate. I'm gonna turn everything off. I'm gonna set like Buddha does.

And I tried. I like I swear to god, I tried. Yeah, I tried as hard as I effort, and I would go okay, and I would try to find my place and just center on it, and then all of a sudden, well, I stick fifteen tomorrow, I gonna do this, and I okay, stop it, stop, push everything back away, and then all of a sudden, what a my friends, my dogs up on Twitter. I couldn't focus. I know, I feel you. I'm the same way. I don't know what it's going

to take, but someday I will crack that meditation. I just don't think you are, because because we're about the rays on the idio idiot scam what's it called. That's amazing? No, I say that too, but you've already shown with your lack of commitment to a therapist. That chaos. You're like me, you chase chaos. I do sort of believe that if I get like healthy, like whatever healthy is, I won't have Yeah, I like won't know who I am any

This is what I just asked you do. You have to be in a bad place and that doesn't mean relationship. But you're answering all the questions like five paragraphs later. I can't help it. I'm a rambler. No, it's not fashion radio talk. You're talking yourself into answers. You just said way later that you need this crap and if you don't have it, yes, you have to go find it. So what you just said, like the way you just described how I answer things is the way I live

my life. I think I have it all figured out, but I'm going through it and then years later it's like late Lumor times a thousand, I'm like, oh, oh, I get it now. Okay, that's embarrassing that that took me that long. Like, I don't my processing is it's very meandering, But you know I get there eventually. Isn't that all the matters that you get there eventually? I need to do a commercial anything quickly? No good, Okay, this is bleacher. This one feels I've been different than

the rest of the record. Would you agree with that than the rest of the the body of music? Yeah, and maybe just because it feels super happy. Yeah, this is probably maybe like alter ego song, But that part of me exists, you know, I have that, and there are a lot of songs coming on the rest of the album that I feel like that. Uh, you know, because there's songs like Holier than Thou too that sort of have a sense of humor. But um, yeah, that's

that's part of me. There's a I mean I've always argued this about artists because it wasn't a bad thing. I was making an observation when I listened to the record, It's like, because I love sad music too, It's all I listened to. If I'm picking the music, it's all sad music. So I think that's why. I also was like down with your sound, was like this is it? I love it, and then Bleachers comes on. I'm like

next time. I think it's a great song. But it was just different than the risk, Like sonically it is different. We had fun with it. Yeah, how I got funky. I like it. You made me feel like I said I I never said anything about it. I don't know how to do whatever it's Yeah, I'm glad you like it. I do like I do. Know that song is sort of um one of those we do. Yeah, we play it love with the full band. We really can't do it like any other way. Maybe that's why, because I

haven't heard you play it. Yeah, we can't do it with just guitar guitarists. We need rhythm, so don't we all? Don't we all need rhythm? Speaking of I don't have any, but no, somehow I make it. Can't dance it all. It's weird. You know that only a few what dancing is considered in society. I can't do. You don't have rhythm? You can dance? Do you dance in public? Yeah? If I've had like a few, that's all the matters really at this point in our lives. Who cares? So you'll dance? Oh? Yeah? Good? Yeah?

I mean I used to be really good dancing. Yeah yeah, yeah, Like what do you mean I have decent rhythm? Like hip hop moves? Or I mean, aren't they all the same? No, I don't have I did take countryline dancing to meet girls, and then it was all I was what kind of girls? First of all, I was twenty one years old, right. Second of all, I thought it would be it was a college class. I was in college. And then it turns out they were all non traditional students that came back,

so they were all like forty year olds. They would come. I didn't meet. It was all moms. So I lined dance with with Yeah, it was not, but I gotta a. I was good. I gotta a for effort. That's awesome. Yeah, but I'll dance a little bit. But I grew up. I went to h Yeah, I went to score. We dance a lot. Wow. Yeah, I mean like the hip thing, like you know when people can do stuff with their hips. I can't do that. I've lost a bit of I lost half step. But yeah, I think if I got

back into it, i'd be pretty good. Yeah. I should probably take some like salsa lessons or something. But you won't you go want to be like, yeah, I'm good. Something I would do? Yeah, you got me figured out. Yeah, I'm probably go to the next thing. What about this? If I played this song here? So game I figured out, Wait, and where's to change and catch my next hard like mine? Do you know what you do? So I will like it. There's one move in there that so signats are like

of that person. I feel like, okay, so too good. I mean if it's hard to hear it with you, but it sounds like yes, okay, yeah, So what's up that song? Yeah? So that was the first song I released as an artist after moving to Nashville. And this was like at the beginning of like Spotify and everything.

So I just randomly put it out and didn't have any I didn't have publishing, I didn't have anything, and I just I wrote it with tofur and I was working with Richard Marx at the time, like yeah, yeah, he was doing some stuff here in town, and so I was introduced to him through a mutual friend and he heard me, and I guess he was looking for a project to produce, and so he was like, hey, do you want to do something? So we did five songs.

That was one of them, and the intent was to like pitch two labels and get me a record deal, which never happened. But um, he was friends with Vince and so he asked Vince if he would sing backgroundvocason and Vince said yes, and then we got to write

together and that was amazing. Yeah, but that song is just really special to me because I mean, obviously Vince is on it, but that song was very true at the time, and um, you know, I really I have to say I appreciate about that song that we were talking earlier about the pain with my breakup inspiring all these songs on Sidday. That song right there proved to me that the narrative you know, already existed before all

that happened. Because that song feels like me still, like if I play it at a show, like and people asked me to play it, yeah, and you're not too cool to play it's cool. So I did want to bring this up. By the way, stream Jillian music, download of music, go to a show, who you're out with that you have a cool tour Hull this year. Yeah,

Well next we can we go out with Thomas Rhetts time. Yeah, and then we do the Brett Eldridge tour with Devin Dawson, which is like going to be my first actual tour like night after night playing cities and with my band. So I'm very very excited. That's cool. Yeah, especially with with Tom's Rhett, like he's notoriously good to his opening acts really like super Yeah, that's he's a good dude though, And I feel like he's a good dude. We haven't met yet because I know you a bit and I

know him. He's a good dude. That's awesome. And this comes off all the bad people, but some people everybody just so worried about themselves. Yeah, that he's he takes care of others. That's really cool. Yeah, he's a good one. Yeah. He seems like he's been able to keep his perspective on on everything, on his life and his family everything, even as his career is kind of just blown up. Like he seems like a really a down to earth,

awesome guy. You know, it was funny last night we were doing the show you were playing and I was hosting it, and you said, hey, I want to show you my engagement video. And you remember the first thing I said back to you was I said how long is it? Oh? No? And you looked at it. You kind of had like it shouldn't matter how long I watched my video. But I like to explain why I said that, because I haven't I haven't shaken this because I saw like a grandmace on your face that I

even asked I should just watch the video. No, I that wasn't like I didn't take that personally. I thought it was funny. Well have you ever I was just being honest too, Yeah, for sure. Have you ever had someone go how you should check this out in this show? And it's like they're like, hey, look at this YouTube. It's like seven minutes long, and then it's like seven minutes.

So I wanted to ask ahead of time because I was going to be completely honest to go, if it's like three and a half minute, I' probably gonna check out a minute one through two fifty. I appreciate that. I mean I still would have tried to make you watch and I would have watched it, but I wanted, you know, ahead of time, and I'm probably gonna be wandering in my head. But it wasn't. It was really beautiful. Sure,

it was seconds kissing parts. Yeah, it is the favorite length I've ever seen to a video, in all lengths of video. So it was you and your fiance and you were in Paris in front of the Apple Tower, and what did he say to you? He said, just look at the Yeah, he said, we should take a video for our family back home of when the Eiffel Tower sparkles, because it sparkles on the hour every hour. And it was almost one am, and so we walked up there and he's like, all right, get your phone out,

we'll take a video. I was like, all right, cool. So we're standing there the Apple towers behind us, and mid video, you know, we're kissing and talking whatever. And then he pulled out the ring, you know, from the left side, and so he sort of brings the ring up into the frame of the video. So I'm watching us on the video screen and it takes me a second to focus my eyes onto the actual real life ring, and then I go through about six different facial expressions

before I just started crying. But it was really awesome. It was really great because it's genuine confusion, happiness, and again the perfect length of expressions, like I really enjoyed. But but they did hang with me because I thought, oh, at this point, you and I've had conversations where I'm like, oh, some of people think I'm a date because I'm just a very matter of fact like, Hi, this is how I feel I hope it's cool. If not, that's cool too.

But let's let's move on with our lives, good or bad. But I felt I was like, oh, maybe I should have before she asked me, just taken the video ten minutes, just watched it all, okay, because that home with me a little bit. Really? Yeah, man, I didn't even think about it. Good. Um, how long is this one? Okay? Well we'll kind of call it here, but check out Side A from Jelly and Jacqueline with such song and

just side it. Now. These podcasts live forever. Next year, you could be a huge star and you're on side F at this point. Yeah, you know, I mean, I hope I didn't say anything I shouldn't have said. Probably you'll get home and go. Man, that hour and a half I said so many things. Has anybody called you and been like, can you please not put that part in? Okay? So I won't do that. Well it goes up quick. Yeah. So but also, if you said something I didn't defamatory, yeah,

I don't think I'd say, let's let's probably beat that. Yeah. So anyway, you've got reasons. I just play some here, what a good one or my favorite? Hate me? Relate to that song. I talked it out and realized why I liked that song. Podcast yea god, bless this mess, this mass this as good as sugar and salt. That's a jam, dude, I love it. It's good. Sometimes it's a I'm spit when it cost to you, when it cost some me loving lizard. Same enough. Most of time

the artist things with them. It's kind of cool, but I like to say no, no, no, I like to sing with them because I really like the song. I know. I'm just playing songs also without me from the little one go ahead, you know I had that ready? Oh my god, good that? No, please don't play that again? Are you kidding me? Where did you find? What? You? What do you mean? Why don't you like that? Where did you find that? Oh? Man? That is like massive

levels of embarrassment. Um. I was probably like thirteen years old when that song was written and recorded. Then why are you? I don't know, I don't know what you're gonna do? Can I see what is? Where did you even get that? Don't worry about how you guys? That is impressive? Yeah, did you find a to grow? Don't worry about we found there's some dark stuff in there.

I actually just found out that that that that album is out on Spotify as somewhere the Little Women band exists, and I don't know none of us put it up, so I don't know who put it up. But I think it's just embarrassing because I those songs are like we were thirteen and had no idea what we were singing about, and we just that's okay, what are those lyrics without me? Got her hands on her head and shame it's like kids. Yeah, definitely, that's horrible. No, I said,

who that was embarrassing? Thank you? Yeah, so side and then there's the other songs. I was just setting you up for that final thank you. But no, that was blasphem in the past that I didn't want. Okay, um to your producer, I've talked about doing some hip hop stuff together. He wanted to say, Hi, I don't I can't believe you guys haven't met yet. Now he came on the studio, but we didn't really he played with you in the studio, right, No, that was briant. No,

I thought you had two players. Maybe I've just seen him on TV with you and Go when you played. Yeah, he played on that he always comes to just the fun stuff. Okay, that's where I've seen in this. Yeah, he was on TV with us, but we have, we've texted a bunch of times. He is one of the greatest humans on the planet. Very lucky. I do like great humans. Yeah, yeah, that's it. That's cool about like you know, you guys would get along very well. He's

he's awesome tober. If you're listening, I got it. I got a little special song for you, Rexes. We should put this on the album, I think, yeah on side we should do an E D M remix. Yeah, well listen pretty much and everything we said, everything we can say. Do you think that Ryan Adams will listen to this podcast? I think if he's a fan of you and he stumbles across it, I don't think this will come up in his feed, his R feed or whatever. But no, I don't think so. Okay, that would be cool if

he did. He may he may be a Jillian. Have you spoken to him since you Yeah, oh yeah, we talk on Twitter a lot. Doesn't sell him by the way you watch Wildhall Country, Yes I did. I'm not done yet. I'm not done yet. Episode on We are on work how many isn't there like one season? Six episodes? Okay, so we're I think we're on the fourth, two more to go. So what's her name? Just left? Sheila left, which I thought was so kind of abrupt and weird.

I was like, where are you going? Why? Which is why I liked it because very Game of Thrones where you don't know what's going to happen, and then you go, oh, I can expect anything because it's not falling into the timeline of what normally happens. Right, Is there like something mass suicidal going to have And I'm not going to tell you about it, but what was craziest to me? By the way, Wild Wild Country, the show on Netflix

is a documentary series. Yes it happened. Or again with this cult, they bought eighty tho acres of land, a hundred square miles. When you start to wrap your hand, run that that's driving two hours. I own all of that. The airport. Yeah, so, and they put a call up there and I can't believe I didn't know the story, Like I'm really interested. Have you read the book Sapiens? No? Oh man, it's not about cults, but it's about humans, and read it I'm meant to it, and I think

you'd really like it. Yeah, I'll read it. Yeah. No, this is the best documentary I've seen it along. But it's great. Yeah, yeah, it's great because and also I didn't know that I knew everything about like big crazy things in our history. It almost seems like someone like got it massively covered up after the fact. It's like they did it without me. It just got getting clear everything. I'm bright red and I wish he would stop playing the song. Um, well, listen to this has been a

good talk. I like to end it. I hate that you that, but really it's kind of fun, right, okay, cool? Have have you had fun? I have had so much fun. Yeah, I could do this for ten more hours, but then you'd be like, get out of my house. That's true. You can do on all the water and then you've taken all the water. Jillian Jacqueline, listen to side A or if it's you know, months months later. Just check her out so you wish you to get up see her live. I watch her live many times. Fantastic artists.

And thanks for coming over the house. Pretty thanks for having me about it. Yeah all right, Jillian Jacqueline and we'll see you next time. Everybody