Ever go to the self help section of a bookstore and look at all the titles out. You can become a millionaire, how to be happy, how to lose weight. It's all me, mommy, mommy may me. But what if I told you that you can have everything you want in life, but simply helping others get what they want? Well, it is the absolute only way you will find true fulfillment. So let me help you. As I do this episode, let's go Ziglar used to say, to get what you want.
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You must first help others get what
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They want. Now. Zig was a successful and famous salesman author and legendary speaker on success. However, every time I heard him say this, I felt he was coming from more of a human perspective than just good business advice, because it really is true. I have friends that would drop everything and come running. If I called and asked, I also know many people that would either give me an excuse, that they were unavailable or say, well, I'm in the middle of something. I'll be there after I'm done with that, the world is full of both types, but have you ever really evaluated which type you are? It's not a trick question. And I think most of us would say, we're the type that would come running, but are we really try this hit pause for a moment and think if you woke up at 3:00 AM and found a water pipe broke in your house, you need help.
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Now, who are you going to call again? I could tell you without hesitation, who I would call and I know they would come running. They might show up in their underwear, but they would be here immediately ready to help. Okay. Now do this. How many people do you know would say your name, that they did this same exercise. If you're not confident anyone would say your name, you may want to work on being a better friend. No, I'm not a lot of things. And the Lord knows I certainly have my faults, but I would hope that I would be one of the first ones. My friends and family would think of you're in the real estate crash of 2008. I lost my job and being that it was an industry crash. I was worried that I might not be able to find another opportunity very fast. I had a guy from Arizona reach out to me because he had heard about my situation through a friend of a friend.
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This guy called me and we chatted for about an hour on the phone. He asked how he could help me. And I said, well, if you know anyone that has a job, I need a paycheck. He asked me to email him my resume. And I did that immediately. Then I began getting copied on emails with this guy, introducing me to executives across the country. He wasn't just cutting and pasting either. He wrote each of them a personal message and then introduce me as a friend of his. And in his words told them how confident he was in my abilities. But again, this guy had never met me. He only knew what his friend had told him about me and what he learned in the hour phone conversation had a few days later, he called me to check in and then copied me on a few followup emails and then continued to do the same week after week.
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I quickly had job offers coming my way and landed in a really good opportunity. Now, this guy, wasn't a recruiter and didn't get any kind of commission. In fact, he's a highly respected legend in our industry, but he took the time out of his own business in life to help a guy, 2000 miles away that he had never even met. I told this guy, I can never thank him enough. We continue to stay in touch through the years and he has become a great mentor and a great friend, not just in business, but in every aspect of our lives. A few years ago, we met at a conference in Vegas and hung out for the day. As I walked around with him, it was absolutely amazing how well known he is. But what was even more amazing is how many people would come up and hug him.
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And then tell me what a great impact he had in their lives. As a mentor, when my sons first purchased their company, he came to Cincinnati and invited them to breakfast in which he gave them great advice and encouragement. Did I mention this guy runs his own business. He has just as much, or probably more than most of us have on his daily plate, but he always keeps helping others as his priority. I said to him, once that he taught me to be a better friend and frankly, a better human being when my friends or family calls and needs something, I'm always willing to help them with whatever they ask. But if a friend calls and says, they're out of work, I'll have them send me their resume and I'll pass it along to others. However, this guy has taught me to stop what I'm doing and make their need my priority.
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That is not easy. And so many times I get so busy and wrapped up in what I'm doing. It's hard to hit the brakes when someone calls. So I have to remind myself what this man did for me and how important it made me feel. So back to Zig Ziglar's line. If we put other people first and genuinely care to make them feel important, then we've already succeeded. Problem. I see more often than not is people get so wrapped up in themselves that even when someone else has success, their first thought is not being happy for them rather. It is. How can this help me? They are more concerned about absorbing others' lights than shining their own light. And then they also complain about the others light shining too bright, maybe it's human nature, or maybe they've just read too many of those books in the self help section of the bookstore.
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Have you ever gotten a new job? And when you told a friend about it, instead of being happy for you, they immediately say, can you get me a job there too? I mean, it's really sad when we think about how self-absorbed people are. I don't think it's any worse today in the world than it has been since humans walked the earth. It's just highlighted more now because of social media and the communication resources we have today. When someone has success, it's easy for the self absorbed to start a group chat or a social media post tearing them down. Back in the day, this was just done by the old biddies at the grocery store. My point with all of this is we have to stop tearing each other down and work on lifting each other up every day. Stop complaining about or trying to absorb someone else's light and start being a light for others that may be in a dark place.
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Remember the old Sunday school song, this little light of mine, what Jesus actually wrote that song. When he was telling his disciples, what they needed to do in the world. He said, you're the light of the world. A town built on a Hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bushel. Instead they put it on a stand and it gives light to everyone in the house. We all go through dark times in our lives. It could be a job loss, the loss of a loved one or whatever, but it's in these times that our light just can't shine bright enough for us to see ourselves out. This is when we need someone else to shine a light for us. It's like one more in a dark room. We could walk around forever, stubbing her too. It goes against everything and we could continue to do this forever.
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But the absolute only thing that's going to help is for someone to flip that switch. And immediately the light destroys the darkness. One of the best people to ever walk this earth as mother Theresa, this frail little nun, dedicated her life to care for people who are unable to care for themselves, the sick, the homeless, the out cast, the forgotten over the course of her life. She worked tirelessly, helping others committed to bringing hope to the hopeless healing, to the hurting and dignity, to the dine. She dedicated her entire life to being a light in the lives of those that were experienced in the darkest moments. She wants visited this small reservation in Australia, where she saw a poor elderly man. This man suffered from mental illness and was completely ignored by the people in his village because they didn't understand what was wrong with him.
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But as mother Teresa visited with him, she quickly saw that the only thing dirtier than his clothes was this tiny house, which apparently had not been cleaned for years. She implored the man to let him clean her house and wash his clothes and make his bed. The man finally agreed. Some other Teresa went ahead and got everything all cleaned up. But in the midst of her cleaning, she discovered a beautiful old lamp covered in dust. So she asked the old man, don't you ever light this lamp? Don't you ever use it? He said, no, no one ever comes to see me. So I have no need to light it. I mean, who would I light it for? So mother Teresa asked, so you would light it every night. If someone would come to visit you, the man said, of course I would well from them that day forward mother Teresa told her sisters to go visit that man every day.
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And every day he had the lamp lit waiting on them. They would routinely clean the lamp as well as clean his house. Many years later, after he turned into India, mother Theresa received a message from the old man that simply said, thank you. The light that you brought into my life continues to still shine, you know, in a world that seems value people more for how they look or who they know or what they drive or where are they live. Many people are hungry for someone to judge less and shine, more light. Dwight moody once said, we are told to let our light shine. And if it does, we won't need to tell anyone that it does lighthouses. Don't need to fire cannons to call attention to their shining. They just shine.
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As the inspiring example from mother Teresa reminds us the most successful people in history chose to absorb the light,
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But rather to reflect it, we don't have to be saints to add value to the world. All we need to do is look for opportunities to be a light in someone else's life who may be in the darkness. I am far from perfect. And I have made many, many mistakes throughout my career in life. I do this podcast in hopes that my story can be a little light on the past to others. So they don't trip over the same stumbling blocks. I believe that success is having a meaningful life and they only way to have a meaningful life is to have helped others. So don't keep waiting for that light at the end of the tunnel, be the light in the tunnel. And when we finish our journey, let's be sure that generations to come know that we lit this place up with a meaningful light. So go out there and shine on.