Unveiling the Secrets of Writing Success with Tash Doherty

Music. Okay, what's up, everybody? It's your girl, Sequoia Blue.

We're back in here with another episode on this beautiful Thursday. And today's guest is Tosh DeHarty, and she's a writer, author, and an advocate, okay? And I'm telling you, her story seemed interesting. I didn't get a chance to read your books yet, but I definitely will get into it because I read, I'm a reader, and I read a lot of books, favorite authors like Walter Mosley.

I can't remember everybody right now Eric Jerome Dickey rest in peace and Judy Blume she she did a book call forever which made me think about you when I was when I was like looking up your stuff I was like oh that's interesting the teen the teen love vibe what made what made you want to get into writing at 14 at that yeah well thank you so much for having me Sequoia I'm super grateful to be here yeah it was been a while ago now but actually when I was in high school my English teacher told

me that this other girl who was a couple of years older than me had like written and published a novel in a single summer. You know, when kids were on summer break, this girl had like gone and written in her first novel and then gotten it published. And I was like, oh, how difficult could that be? You know, so I actually like sat down and started writing and my family and friends can tell you that I spent the next seven summers actually writing that exact same book.

So yeah, it took me a lot longer than I thought it was going to take, but I'm super grateful and glad and how everything came out in the end. I ended up publishing it when I was like 28. So it took me like 14 years on and off so much longer than just the one year that started out. But I think, you know, when you're like excited about a creative project, you need some of that naivety sometimes. Because like, I don't know if I had known that it was going to take me 14 years

if I would have gotten that stuck into writing my novels. So...

Yeah that was it really oh that's that's so interesting I mean at 14 like what gave you the confidence to even say let me write this because I know at 14 I'm like so nervous I don't know I want to hide and yeah well I'm getting this original drafts and stuff it was like I'm still learning how to type when I was 14 you know like you're not like fully literate you haven't gone to college or anything so it was like I was learning how to type as well as how

to write at the same time so yeah I wouldn't say any of my stuff when I was 14 was any good but over time I think the thing that it did teach me was discipline right and like you definitely need discipline if you're going to write a book and just enjoying it and like getting into it and stuff too so I think it's also difficult because I had so many every single year I would be like this is the year I'm going to publish it this is the year and sometimes you just have to like embrace

that creative process you know it's going to take a lot longer than you think and not beat yourself up if it takes you five years versus like you know the two years or whatever that you've planned. So yeah, I think you have to just it really taught me a lot about how to be like kind to myself during the whole process and just focus on like improving the book over time and like and writing something better every single day when you sit down.

So it's a very different, you know, idea or mindset as like freaking yourself out and being like, I need to finish this book on this day. You know, it's a it's a thing that evolves.

It's a living organism. Yeah. Oh, man, I love how you said that yes it involves I mean I think you know I wrote my first book I was like 19 years old and I'm just kind of I don't know I I wasn't a good writer neither and I had at that time I had went to college for one year and then I didn't finish that first school and I just I didn't know about editing I there's a difference between writing and just writing it out writing it out and editing and

making sure the sentences go together and they're structured properly and I just didn't i didn't know about all that so those are that's something i've learned and now i do get an editor even though because to me even if you went to school for it or whatever it's just some people are more it's just they got the ginsay or they got that vibe where they could just put things together better in a way so i was like man after that things you know it just got better and so So, yeah, I mean.

When you decided to publish your book at 28, like, did you get an editor or did you just say, you know what, I'm a gangster? I got this. Yeah, I think I spent a lot of money on my book, you know, like I had a couple of different rounds of developmental editors. So they were people who were helping me with the storyline and just, you know, my my writing style in general. I had a really great copy editor called Patricia.

Unfortunately she ended up going back to working at penguin random house so she was my like super legit like line by line line edits at the end there and that really really helped me to like really think of it as like a real book and she was like She was amazing. I really wanted to work with her again for my second book, which I'm writing right now. But yeah, then I had like the developmental editors, as I was mentioning, I also had lots of rounds of beta readers.

So this was people in my target audience, who I thought would like the book, and then I paid them to read it and critique it. And then that's how the book really got a lot better.

So I recommend like a couple rounds of beta reading, at least for any kind of like novel project, because the feedback and the insights that they'll give you will make the story so much stronger and yeah we were talking about ai art like a little bit earlier and i did actually end up using ai art for the cover because i i do feel bad about this i recently watched this tiktok where this girl was like if you use ai for your book or ai art to fit to make your book cover then like either

you clearly just wrote your book using ai or your writing is trash and it like just oh no yeah she was like so it was like such a mean kind of like i don't get the hate with ai yeah it's gonna come full speed like a train and it's not gonna go anywhere people have been stealing stuff way before ai came and i'm not saying it's right and it's right now but it's just it's still gonna be different anyway because even if it took pieces from mozart it's still yours it's still

gonna be your creation because i could go look at mozart right now and copy you could copy and like especially my mother she knows how to copy a painting she can literally copy it And so she could copy the painting and change it on hand. She can do it. And a lot of people have been doing it before time. It just doesn't look like the original because you warped it up. And that's AI art. So I don't get the hate. I think people are jealous because they don't know how to prompt.

I mean prompting and then also like she said she was like okay well if you used ai to like make your book then you're writing as trash and i was just like i've spent 14 years writing this book like i'm pretty sure i've had multiple people read it like i really tried to write the best book that i could and like i don't know even just her saying that i was like that's i really like it rubbed me the wrong way i was like oh no and then i sat there and had a big existential thought for a

second but overall it was like it was fine i was just like whatever gonna move on from that haters gonna hate you know yeah yep yep because and that's the work of an artist you know we're gonna get critiqued exactly and i think ultimately like you have to be in the arena with people who you respect you know and if somebody that i really respected was like hey this is not good or you should improve this or like this is ethical or whatever

you know i would totally i would listen to those people but this girl was like a gamer and like i don't know if she actually writes or she just reads books yeah so but it was working she got she got a lot of attention about talking about it on tiktok so yeah see and that's the thing bad attention could be good attention too and i think that's the that people forget that it's like yeah you're you're trying to bring me down but

you're getting people to want to know what's so bad about me so then they're coming to see so that that actually is sometimes a blessing in disguise because hey at least you noticeable so So yeah, it's a good thing. Exactly.

Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead. Oh, yeah. I was going to say, so you seem to have a popular newsletter called Miseducated, huh? Yes, I do. And I've recently started writing a smaller section on that. It's called the sex report. And so what I'm doing with that is I'm taking primary research studies published by different psychologists and scientists, and then applying them to my daily life. So in terms of sex specifically, and body positivity, those kinds of things.

So it's, it's fun for me, because I'm a pretty like curious person. And I like I'm quite a data nerd as well. That's what I've done in my job. So I'm basically, yeah, trying to make the science like more accessible and funny. and then relating it to personal experiences. Because, for example, in my piece, which is called How to Achieve Orgasm Equality, that's my most popular article that I've ever written. It's about how to give females more orgasms.

And basically, I quote a bunch of people in that study, and they're like, oh, you know, 65% of the time, a female will have an orgasm and a sexual encounter with a man. And I'm like, 65% of the time? Like, that sounds incredibly high. I would say that's way higher than what me and my friends are going through, right?

So it's one thing to have these scientific studies to try and understand sexuality or the human experience more, but then to really relate it to my personal experience and be like, actually, anecdotally, this is true or this isn't true and just being open about that. So that's what I'm kind of exploring and having fun with right now on my blog. And the goal of Miseducated is to help the world be shamelessly sexy. So one day at a time. All right. One day at a time. Yeah.

I like that. I always say, look, my little term now, shameless victory, because, you know, I think sometimes people are just always trying to hide and not talk about things because they're scared to talk about it. But these things is normal. We need to talk about it because sometimes somebody could get depressed and didn't know where to go to. And they're always on Reddit. I just got into Reddit maybe a year ago. All right. And that's interesting to me because they're all over the world.

They're in UK where you are all over the place. And it's very interesting to see these stories, but they want to be anonymous. You don't know who it is. I think it's cool that you're like on Substack. You're like, hey, I'm Tosh, what's up? And you're like telling these stories.

Because it just needs to be told and maybe teach women how to talk to their partners and it could give them tips and stuff because everybody might not can afford a sex consultant or whatever and you're teaching them these tips I mean yeah absolutely it's really fun thank you so much for saying that yeah and like I actually am a huge fan of Reddit as well but I think it's I would love we should definitely like try about that but yeah the goal with

the specifically I wrote an article recently called how to be shamelessly sexy and there's three different components of it is one you have to just explore and discover what it is that you like whether it's like in the bedroom or like romantically whatever then the second part is really believing you know as a female that you deserve what you want right like you are entitled to this thing which is like your desires your fantasies etc and then the third thing is asking for what you want so asking

and communicating with your partner like hey i want to try this thing and if they're not willing to you know, meet you where you are or meet your needs, then you might need to find another partner who might be more willing to do that. So that's real. And anyway, so there's a lot that we can like unpack within each of those. But those are some of my favorite parts of it. And, and one of the tools that I have in the exploring and self discovery part at the beginning is sex journaling.

So it's about using a journal, you know, that you might have in your house, your own special book, whatever that you don't have to show anyone else, you could show your partner if you want to.

But writing about all the different romantic experiences that you've had and like saying that it's not I mean especially especially for women sexuality is not just like you know the size of the d or whatever it's like there's so many different aspects that go into it right like did you have dinner before how are you feeling were you wearing a pattern that you liked you know what was the environment like had you been building up to this specific moment with a lot of anticipation so

that's what I kind of like to help people explore and I think sex journaling is a really interesting way to do that and i i like to say that my sex journal is my blog itself you know like i put my name on everything because i think it's important to have like a real human face behind all of these things um but then that's when i i developed the sex journaling tools so people can do it in the privacy of their own homes and they don't have

to like publish about it you know on the internet so yeah yeah i like that you know because there's the journal industry is getting so popular we're just talking about your feelings but we didn't we didn't add in the sex journal i I mean, I think that's amazing. And it will be different. Like, what is it that you're seeking? What are you looking for? What are you into?

You know, and like I said, I don't shame anyone. I'm someone that's like, do your thing, just protect yourself, you know, because I think that life is short and you have to figure out what's best for you. And I do think there's some people that might turn asexual or, I mean, I don't think they turn asexual. I think sometimes people get so stressed out, especially during this time, or women more so than men, where they just close up.

They don't they can't even it take a dang on champion to pull something out you know and like you said it's the it's the the the process to get to the moment you know that woman particularly likes the roses like a nice dinner and then wants her feet rubbed and then you know sensual kisses or whatever it is like those are things that that's what i think people need to talk about the first date really the reason why i say that is because.

Because if you talk about it on the first or second date, you can just cut it. Your emotions don't get attached. If you realize that you're not sexually compatible, you can just get out. Totally. And then you know what you want. So you can be like, hey, are you interested in doing XYZ? You know, like whatever it might be. And if this guy is like, oh, no, I've never do that. And you're like, okay, cool. Guess I'll find somebody else.

We have a lot of offices. So it's like, I think that's the benefit of it as well.

And I don't know. it's like maybe finding other people who also have these kings and interests and but yeah that's really what I tried I like what you said like the shameless victory aspect of it as well because also just celebrating like when you do have a positive dating experience and saying like what did you like about this person like you know was it the way that they treated you or like the text that they sent you in

the morning or whatever it was you know I think there's a whole it's such a beautiful and like complex thing when it comes to female sexuality so that's why I find it this like of, you know, never ending, interesting and curious topic for me to explore. And yeah, the goal with Miseducated now is, yeah, turning from the science to the sex. So it's bringing in like these primary research studies that I'm just, I just read and I find on the internet.

And one that I'm working on right now actually is by this, I found it on this woman, Dr. Sarah Hill's website. She's a psychology professor at the University of Texas, Texas Christian University. And basically they studied like whether people.

If you're going on a date and if this partner like tries new and exotic foods if that changes your perception of them and basically they found that people are more likely to consider that your potential mate as like adventurous like sexually open and less basically you're less likely to feel like sexual disgust if you if you're the kind of person who's into this you know because if this guy orders like something really random and weird off the menu then

maybe he would be like open to doing random weird stuff with you you know at the same time so anyway that's like that's what i'm exploring right now and i'm about to publish that newsletter tomorrow so yeah summarizing okay i'm gonna have to subscribe i mean yeah exactly have you had some experience real no i mean i know that was it the uh uh the aphrodisiac with the uh what is it the what is it called yeah the oysters yeah they say that you know it's like it gets you hot

and going to stuff and then it's also you kind of out of the box because you like to eat raw oysters and stuff like that but it does make sense because everything like matters how someone is how they eat the what what they talk about what they read about all that connects it says a lot about them and and so it like you have a very you very emotionally intelligent so that's the thing too that and and some women are still trying

to figure it out and trying to you know and that's the thing so somebody might not be able to tell like you're reading about this and I like that but some people ain't reading and then. They go out here in these streets and they just like oh cute he got money or you know whatever and then you end up and you would you would have with the right one and so I think.

I think that's interesting because that's what made me create my card game was because of that when i realized there's certain things that need to be asked it you know and then based off how they answer if they screaming and going moving all the place what's going on and so that's why i did it and because and so i'm kind of similar to you in that aspect when it comes to relationships because it's almost like a psychological thing and it works.

I mean did you you know you would think that people try to lie and stuff but you can if you are like you'll pick up on the cues but if you are someone that pays attention you'd be like oh he he's trying to lie you know he knows about that question and no one's trying to judge you we just want to know why you ain't answer it what's wrong with you because if one of the questions are you bisexual can you why can't you answer if you bisexual and i actually had one guy say on a

date that he was curious about how would it be with sleep one other men he said he was actually curious he never did it but he said was curious and i was shocked i was like oh he told the truth like but and that was just my test before the game even launched it was just me a piece of paper and i realized it works because then i'd be personally i couldn't date a bisexual guy but someone else that don't mind it at least they know at least they can move accordingly and so

those are the things and then you know some question have you ever had threesome stuff like that just gauging you and so it just reminded me of the of my game when you're seeing all this stuff and even though it could be uncomfortable I think sometimes the uncomfortable has to be said because then and it's like because you have to know if that person's on your intelligence level and not saying they can't get intelligent but you take the emotional intelligence

to know how to to satisfy someone especially you're you saying in your article that hey you know what what women when the woman tells the man what she wants this stuff. Come on now, it takes a certain type of man to understand what she's saying and to really do the work. And I think that's.

That's one of the things because there's so many blogs there's so many podcasts out now just down and women and men and nobody want to date no more I'm alone and no you just need to talk and sit down and stop being scary and tell the truth yeah and also you can find your person yeah and that's what I love about your game as well is that like if it's this offline activity that you can do together it just requires like so much vulnerability and like I also go to bars and

stuff and I'm like I'll sit there with my headphones in at the bar and be like not as approachable you know like we're all on our phones all the time we're all in our devices and stuff and like so going back to the analog of like.

Sitting down and saying hello to a person that is scary like it is you know yes i mean you just have to put yourself out in those uncomfortable positions and i've been thinking about it a lot a lot recently because i'm i've been going to bed like earlier you know so i can wake up and like play pickleball or go for a run or whatever with my friends and i think sometimes you have to just like stay out you know like you have to stay out for the night because that's

when things happen you know people have a couple of drinks like you get in the groove and I think even you know as much as I try to be shamelessly sexy in my own life I really think that a lot of the times I'm dealing with my head instead of my heart you know and I think like a lot of the times we need to get back into our emotional our feelings and our bodies and and just having fun and not thinking about like all the emails that I have to answer and all of the, you know.

You feel disconnected from that, I think sometimes. So yeah, that's another aspect of it. I totally agree with that. Yeah. Cause I mean, just getting off. Yes. Because I mean, I think that I do think about work a lot and then I'm just like off track and I'm not, I can't see that chair or I can't see that, you know, it's like, and that's why I podcast. Cause it helps me ground myself. You know, like some people were like, Oh, you know, people do it for the money or whatever.

I try to get the money, but I'm, it helps me ground myself because I I'm touching the. I'm touching something and I feel like I'm talking and it's not so much about hustle, survive do this and that and I think that that that just messes up you know like I said the the sexual side you know when when when especially for women that want to it's I think it messes it up yeah exactly I think we're just we're very complex characters and I think that's what's so.

Fun about it and and it's a landscape that can ever be changing you know and I think just focusing on that journaling aspect you know taking an experience that you had whether it was your first time or you know your best time your worst time your most fun summer loving time like there is just so much you know beautiful rich details and parts of these experiences and I've at least seen the benefits in my own life because now I can like you know hook

up with somebody and I can be like hey I like this this and this and you know I hope that you're down for that too and a lot of the times they're like also open to that as well but I think you have to also know what like pleases you both physically emotionally and all of that because otherwise you can't expect your partner that also give you what you need so it's a lot of uh yeah and I try to just be very honest about like I constantly not constantly talking about how much

like I like butt stuff but I'll mention it in my articles because I'm just like well yeah if you want if the guy wants to make me orgasm just like a little bit of butt stuff and I'm like good you know but like that's something that I mean not many people feel comfortable saying about yeah yeah because it's like that's the way that I've discovered you know with my previous partners that helps me to have pleasure and I'm very happy

to be the person who puts their name and the face of the blog and just say like, Hey. This, these are my like full human experiences. And like, I just encourage people to, like, explore, you know, as much as they can and, like, enjoy this beautiful life that we all have and finding a partner that you like. And, you know, it's a beautiful journey.

Yeah, I mean, life is short. And, you know, I was listening to Michelle Obama's podcast the other day and she mentioned that she told her daughters that some, she told them that some women will end up alone. Like, and it's a possibility that her daughter, that she told them that they could end up alone. And I found that to be interesting. I think it's some women, you know, they're always like, get married, get the dog, get the fence or whatever. I don't know.

And it's like, it's a possibility. What if it doesn't happen? You know, what if you end up alone? Can women handle that? Totally. I mean, my grandma is still alive. She's like 88 years old and she's like bedridden. But I still call her on FaceTime like a couple of times a week. And honestly, I'm really surprised that she had children. Like, I think if you look back, there's so many as recently as two, three generations ago, Like a lot of these women just wanted to be free, right?

They wanted to maybe get educated, have their own lives, have their own careers. But for a lot of societal impediments, you know, a lot of oppression, like they weren't able to do that. And so, yeah, I'm obviously grateful that she did have children because otherwise I wouldn't be alive. But looking at her personality, I'm like, goodness, woman, why did you ever get married and have children? Like you would have been so much happier, you know, if you'd just been able to be free and be alone.

So, yeah. and i think the real at least for me personally like the it really comes down to whether or not i want to have children or not like i personally have i'm 30 years old and i've spent most of my 20s out not in a relationship at all and i've been perfectly happy with that but suddenly it's like oh well if i do want to like reproduce i might need to find a partner to do that you know and that's really it at this point apart from that i'm pretty happy being alone yeah or

you can do like what this one lady did she got her eggs frozen and then she had somebody else carry the her baby and she ended up. Being okay and just being a single mom, but you know, some people don't like that, you know, but I think that, I think it's okay too. I mean, I think that, you know, if you do have a son, the son, you can put your son in camps to find a father figure or whatever the case is.

But yeah, I think those are options too, because the way the economy's going, there's less people having, I mean, less ladies having kids now. So it's, it's, it's changing.

I mean, everything so much and then like it takes a while to get to the bag you know get it the way you wanted to get it you ain't even get to live yet you want to travel you want to do all this stuff like because there's so much i want to do i said i don't think i'm gonna have kids be honest because yeah i want to i just so much i want to do i haven't done yet like i want to travel the world i want to go to brazil i want to eat great food i want to

it's just too much to do i want to read books in other countries and it's it's so it's one of those things yeah i totally agree it's it's very tempting and like you know it's it's just so expensive i don't even know how people can afford it honestly me neither i also it's just like i think i'm so grateful like you know to have enough right i think that's also the most important thing is knowing what is enough for you like again you're like you

want to be in brazil reading a book on a beach like that is it's expensive to have that kind of lifestyle but like maybe it's a few thousand bucks and then you go do that and then that's your sense of enough you know and then you can be super happy and fulfilled doing that so i think that's one of the very important thing because you know especially like being women it's like you can still we're still not like pay parity or

making as much money as men or other you know other people whatever but ultimately if you just have enough money to say like i don't need to go out with this guy i can buy my own dinner buy myself flowers miley cyrus style buy my own you know that's good. I think that's true, the defining your success, because $500,000 a year for a single person, to me, you can live that lifestyle. Like, you don't have to be a millionaire. You can make $500,000 a year and be like, yeah, and it's okay.

And that's the thing that people don't get, you know?

So, I mean, but yeah, so you have another book that you're working on. Let's talk about that. What's the title and what's it about? I actually don't have a title for it yet, but it's a summer love story.

So the the whole story is that this girl goes to a lake she's kind of been rejected by all her universities so she's gonna have to take a gap year reapply to college like it's a big it's a big thing for her while all her other fancy friends are like going to colleges that she wants to go to and she goes to this lake where she's terrible at you know cleaning the toilets and cleaning the cabins and everything but then she meets a guy there called blake who's just

a guest he's like staying at the at the hotel that she's working at this lake and they have like a beautiful summer a whirlwind love story and then the question really is like once they part ways you know she lives in she moves to america he lives in california but like they live on different sides of the country and the question that really comes up is is love enough you know so they so the second half of the book is they meet up like five years

later and then you get to see whether or not their love story lasts.

So it's uh it's a lot of spice it's a it's a strong i would say strong spicy summer romance so it's like that beautiful you know if you have any like summer memories of just like at the lake or the beach or wherever in the forest yeah it's a lot of that it's a lot again i i like to go for like really nostalgic teen romance kind of stories that are just like coming of age so yeah i'm i'm like that yeah yeah that's it sounds like it could be a netflix show or movie i mean i hope

so i mean that's what it sounds like yeah i tend to have more like feminist characters which is quite fun so like characters that really have some kind of goal either like in the business world or in the studies or something like that and then the male characters usually add something to those their lives you know that they wouldn't otherwise be able to see in the structure of like novels it's called a buddy love story so the the buddy helps

the character to kind of evolve in their transformations and yeah it's a really it's a beautiful story i'm excited to keep writing it right now it's like over 120 000 words long so i'm gonna need to cut it down quite a bit and like you know get it all together but i'm really grateful i'm in a really amazing writing community called the london writers salon so i write really regularly with my community which is super fun yeah so i just you know you need you need others

writers around you in order to like keep yourself motivated and keep going so yeah man you're right on that because i'm shit i'm definitely behind. I mean i mean i mean i got my my my short stories coming out soon like it's. A collection of short stories i wrote. It when i was 22 wow so i'm finally putting it out now this older age.

Congratulations yeah yes i'm just like okay here i go so that's gonna be soon you know and it's it's just a bunch of different things you know different little stories and it wrote you could have some romance in there too and it's just it's exciting and i think you just inspired me to just keep writing and stuff and you're right just hanging around other writers and even if it's online and stuff like that it's important yeah well you're not behind you're exactly what you need to be right now and

in your process and that's something that i always beat myself up about as well i was like i was supposed to have my draft done two months ago well you set that as an arbitrary deadline so you just need to stay motivated stay positive stay kind to yourself and keep going because you can do it for sure so yeah so do you believe do you believe everything happens for a reason or is it by choice like we we made that choice so it happened or what do you i don't believe that everything

happens for a reason and i can go into a more dark and kind of a messed up story as to why I believe that. But basically, I just have a bunch of friends that have like really intense chronic illnesses, like good people who just suffer, like because of their health issues or whatever for like their whole lives. And I think for sure, you can learn something from a chronic illness. But sometimes there's a lot of just like completely needless suffering in the world.

So that's why I'm not I do not believe actually that everything happens for a reason. But you can still I think learn a lot from all different kinds of things. And that is what the writing process is about. It's about learning about yourself over time and sticking with it and being patient with yourself, you know. So, yeah. Yeah, I totally agree with that. And I also do believe in some serendipity.

Like I do believe that if you act, yeah, I like sometime I'll say, okay, I need to answer about this, this, that. And then a stranger could say it, give me the answer. And they don't know me. Like I could either be on a podcast or I could be watching a movie. I can listen to a song. I could be at work and someone says something that I needed to answer to. And I'm like, what the heck? And it happens more often than not. And I'm like, hmm.

Yeah hmm so i think that's interesting being openness to open to those things is really fun and and interesting sometimes as well i might one of my friends gave me like a little handmade booklet and i like to use that to write questions when i go to bed so it could be like what am i doing next or like you know whatever it is and then i just put it and put it on my nightstand and then i go to bed and then i hope that that is answered you know some some way through the universe so i love it yeah

i love it so before we close out i'm gonna i haven't done this in a while i haven't done the uh would you rather yet in a while it's been a long time but i have two would you rather questions and and you just tell me which one you would rather do so the first one is would you rather have your most embarrassing teenage diary entry go viral or let your ex write the foreword to your next book oh god I mean I will say as somebody who

says it's devoting my life to helping others be shameless I think the viral teenage diary isn't it would actually work well in my favor because I mean I don't know what would be in there touch wood again we're tempting the universe but I create some pretty embarrassing stories and stuff already but maybe I should do more of that and actually make that a shtick, you know, with my TikTok content or something is writing about my most embarrassing memories.

Oh, people love that because they'll relate and won't feel alone. So I like that. Exactly. So yeah, let me answer the question. Yes. Yes. No. Oh, what would I do? Yeah. What would you do? Yeah. I would, I would let my, you know what? I'll let my ex forward the next week.

Let him do it i'll let him do it i mean because i just think that i want to see what he says because he knows i didn't do anything wrong so i think that i think it would be interesting to see what he says because i don't think i want i don't think i want people to know what i did y'all are so stupid i mean i wasn't stupid oh actually i can think of something really gross yeah and weird that i did in my teenage years that i probably wouldn't want published on the there but you know what the fact

that you would want your ex to write your forward that's a i think that's a green flag you know i think i think it's important that we speak well of our ex partners right like probably decent person you know somebody that you were aware.

Yeah he wasn't a he wasn't a good guy you know as far as you know i think he could he had it in him but he just he wasn't right he had some demons he has to work on and that's and that's something he new and and that's something he has to do but i think that if he did say something spicy about me it won't be as bad as my team it won't be as bad whatever he got to say about me it won't be in bed i'm like i don't want nobody it's funny okay here's the second one would you

rather be stuck in a rom-com set in the london underground or a steamy drama set in a mexican beach town but you have to write your way out of it to escape oh you know what like i don't really like the beach i know that sounds ridiculous but the in mexico the beaches are so humid and hot i would like definitely write my way out of there faster i think than being on the london underground but maybe mexico because i i've been living in mexico for three years now and i've been

wanting to write more about mexico so oh i think this could maybe be a good chance for me to start a new steamy whatever rom-com situation that I have to get out of on a beach. So I'll choose that one. Oh, right. Yeah, I think that I'll probably choose that too, honestly. Yeah, I would choose that because I haven't watched so many movies. But like being on the subway, it's like the London tube is a little bit stuffy sometimes.

And also if you're underground, I don't know how long I would realistically want to stay down there. You know, so yeah, that's what I was thinking anyway. But I love these questions. It's so funny. Yeah, thank you for sharing them. Yeah, I was like, I just started back. I haven't done it in a minute. And I said, you know what? I got to start these back up with, you know, because it's like you learn so much about the perspectives and it's exciting.

Thank you. So before we close out, what's the saying or quote that you go by?

Oh my God, that's a great question. Well, there's two. I have one on my laptop right here, which is by Rumi, which is, it says that what you seek is seeking you.

So that's a good one. And then another one by Annie Dillard, I think it is or I like read it on her blog or whatever and it's like how we spend our days is how we spend our lives so I really try to make every day you know something beautiful where I create something I have fun I see people that I love because yeah how we spend our days is how we spend our lives so oh I love it I love that you know that's true how we do how we do one thing is how we do everything too

because it's amazing i love that quote because yeah everything every day could be an event in a different way your way yeah and it's and again it's not saying that you're going to put off your creative goals like as you're saying like you're going to publish your short stories you're doing your podcast like you have to sit down and do those things now because like otherwise that tomorrow might never come right so you know yeah that's the point how we And I promise is how we'd spend our lives.

Yes. Especially with the, the long COVID and stuff. But anyway, that's another topic for another day. I know you probably heard about long COVID, but I'm going to have you come back on here about that one. That's going to be on that topic because that could be a good one, long COVID and how to still have a sexual life with long COVID and even have a life in general with long COVID. How can one do it? That would probably be another good topic.

Yeah, that sounds fucking amazing. Especially with a fellow researcher like me. Oh, man, we'll kill that topic. Yeah. Good for you. Well, Tasha, thank you so much for coming on here. I had so much fun speaking with you. It's been just a breath of fresh air. And just shout out your socials. And I'm going to put them in the show notes though, y'all. But you can shout them out too if you want. Thank you. Yes, I quite. No, I honestly love chatting with you.

Such a great conversation. And yeah, my socials are mostly miseducated underscore. So that's M-I-S-S-E-D-U-C-A-T-E-D underscore. Wherever you can find me on TikTok, on the Instagram, you know. And I hope everyone has a blessed day. And it was lovely talking to you. Thank you so much for having me. Yes, thanks for coming on. And thanks everybody for rocking with me.

Please subscribe and share. Don't forget to go to blueawkinspodcast.com and go to the store and get some cool merch and you can look sexy in it and rock our podcast. All right. Thanks, everybody. Be blessed. Bye. Music.