Wherever there are shadows, there are people ready to kick at the darkness until it bleeds daylight. This is Bleeding Daylight with your host, Rodney Olsen. Welcome, thanks for listening. You can connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok and other social media platforms. Links are at bleedingdaylight.net. Did you know that there are dozens of other amazing guests waiting for you at bleedingdaylight.net? Don't miss the opportunity to hear more inspirational stories.
Are there lies that we believe about ourselves, about others, about God? How do we determine what is truth and then ensure it drops from our head to our heart? Today's guest will open up that conversation. Today, I'm pleased to welcome Corinne Keith, who has a remarkable story of resilience, faith and the transformative power of forgiveness. Corinne's life has been profoundly impacted by two traumatic events.
Both experiences, though vastly different, are intricately linked by the thread of forgiveness. Her story is a testament to living a victorious life in Christ, no matter the circumstances. Corinne, welcome to Bleeding Daylight. Thanks so much for the invite, Rodney. I look forward to it. The paths that we walk during our earliest years often set our directions for many years to come. Can you tell me a little about your growing up years?
Well, my growing up years were mostly based on negativity, criticism and performance. I did not know God in a personal way. He was very distant and not someone that was personally involved with me or my life. I was molested at about five years old. I did not even realize that truth until my wedding night 55 years ago. And I saw my brand new husband naked in the bathroom and I ran out and I did nothing but bawl.
I went on the bed and wept and I had no idea what was going on. 20 years later, I discovered it through counseling what had happened. Help me understand that. Was that something that you had forgotten what had gone on all those years before? Or was it you just thought that this was a normal part of growing up? What was the situation there? Well, I knew it wasn't normal. I knew my behavior on my wedding night was not normal, but I had no idea why. The trauma was so deep and so intense.
I had buried it in order to survive. So it was a survival mechanism for me. We know that the things that happen in our childhood are the things that really dictate what goes on from there. So there was this underlying issue that obviously would have touched every part of your life without you knowing.
And I'm wondering for how many people that is the case where there have been things that have gone on, maybe not to the same extent of what happened to you, but there have been things in their childhood that continue to mark their life going forward. When you're talking with people, when you're helping people toward healing and forgiveness, is that often what you find in their lives that there are things that suddenly it's, aha, I now remember that. And that may be the key towards going forward.
Let me put it this way. My tagline for LinkedIn is I'm your stinking, thinking buster. And the reason for that is it's because of lies that we have believed because of that trauma. Lies that I believed about myself, lies that I believed about men, lies that I believed about God. All of those things impacted and I had no idea where the roots were. But that's where I absolutely love Holy Spirit because Holy Spirit brings us truth. He is the spirit of truth. He walks right along beside us.
He's our comforter. It's him who brings us that awareness and that insight when we're ready to handle it. And I will tell you with forgiveness, the healing needs to be as deep as the wound. Oftentimes we say, well, I forgave them. But something comes back. It's like an onion. So we handle one layer at a time. And then Holy Spirit takes us a little bit deeper until that healing reaches the point of the depth of the trauma. Obviously, faith is a very important part of your life.
And you did mention that when you were growing up, you did not know God personally. You did not have that personal relationship. But was there a relationship at all? Was your family a church going family? Was there some sort of faith in those early years? We did. I was raised as a Catholic. So most of that was head knowledge and performance oriented. Nothing with relationship. So going forward, when was it?
What part of your journey was it where you actually started to realize that Jesus was real and desired relationship? We were what I call double dipping, if you will. We attended the Catholic Church at Mass in the morning. And then we went to a different church in the evening. And it was there where I was introduced to Jesus. It was there that I was introduced to his love.
It was there that I received salvation and accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior as a person, not as an entity that was way out there. Was that when you were still young? Or what part of life was that for you? At that point in time, we were married about nine years. So I was in my early 30s. Take me back to those early years of marriage. Because as you say, suddenly there was something going on for you that you didn't understand. You knew was not normal.
You knew this was not the wedding night that you had expected or your husband expected. How did you start to walk through that? I think for me, again, it was the love of God. Him drawing me. Him saying, I want you free. I want you whole. And he took me step by step at a degree that I could handle. That's who God is. He's loving. He's gracious. He's kind. And he waits for us. And how was your husband at this stage?
Of course, he's suddenly encountering something that he doesn't quite understand as well. And obviously, you cannot speak for another person. But as you remember back, what was his attitude? Was he just wanting to say, I don't understand, but I want to support you in this? He waited three days for us to be able to consummate our marriage. That is true love. And that's part of why we've been married for 55 years. That certainly helps.
As you continue to journey forward, tell me how life went for you. I was blessed to have a mentor who took me step by step through the healing process, through the forgiveness process. And the thing that I had to understand with forgiveness was twofold. Number one, you cannot rationalize the person's sinful behavior. And I did that with my dad. And that prevented me from healing until I recognized, no, that was sin.
And there were impacts and complications that I had to deal with because of that. So that was number one. And the second part is I had to deal with the heart issue. I had to deal with the emotional aspect and say, I forgive you for. So it wasn't just head knowledge, even though it made me feel. And I always use that when I take people through the forgiveness process, because we have to deal with the emotions. It made me feel rejected. It made me feel dirty. I felt shame. I felt guilt, whatever.
It doesn't matter what those emotions are. We have to acknowledge them and then choose to release those emotions to God and say, I forgive you, even though it caused those feelings. Now, I mentioned that there were two traumatic events that have colored your life. Correct. Tell me what was that second one and how did that come about? The second one was any parent's worst nightmare.
It's getting your doorbell ringing in the middle of the night with two police officers telling you that your son had been in a car accident and that his fiancé was killed and that Paul was hospitalized. At that point in time, they didn't know the status. He wound up being brain dead and he never did regain consciousness. He was hit by a drunk driver traveling on the wrong side of the road, both vehicles traveling at 70 miles an hour.
It's interesting when we hear a story like that, as well as the obvious grief that you go through. There are so many what-ifs. What if he wasn't out that night? What if that driver wasn't drunk? What if, what if, what if? Is that the path that you went down? Was that the natural thing that started to occupy your mind? It would have been, except God loved us enough to send our pastor to us. He left a guest speaker that we had at our church.
He did the biblical thing where he left 99 in search of the one, and we were the one. He took a plane, flew out to be with us. After we left Paul's body, and I'll get to that because Paul was an organ donor, he said, don't ever ask why. He said, that will take you down a rabbit hole that will be almost impossible to get out of. He said, don't go down there. We took it to heart, but normally that would have been the normal path to follow. Paul was 22 years old.
He and his fiance were traveling home for spring break from college. They had both been ordained and licensed as pastors. Paul was airlifted, was brain dead, but Paul was always about life. That's just who the kid was. He spent his summers as a lifeguard, always about life. And then you know what he did at college? He organized blood drives. He was O positive, which is the universal donor. He gave all the time. So he was always about life.
And so I remember a conversation that we had at the dinner table when he got his license, mentioned to everybody that he was going to be an organ donor. And his sister didn't want any part of it. And she was older than him. And he says, give it up, sis. What good is it going to do you? You might as well bless somebody else. Typical brother-sister relationship, right? When he was brain dead, that is the time that the organs are best harvested to be able to give to somebody else.
So we went through the process. God says he works all things together for good. We are blessed. This happened 24 years ago. Over that time, we have been able to watch his heart recipient raise her five children. Her youngest was five at the time. Her oldest was 13. Over those 24 years, we've watched them grow into adulthood and still have a relationship with her. That is huge. It's an amazing legacy, isn't it? Obviously, out of a very bad situation, you're seeing something come.
But you're still left with the fact that you've lost your son and his fiancée. Tell me a little about the grieving process in those early days. Okay. Primarily, I had to learn to forgive again. So who did I have to forgive? Let's start with me. I had to forgive myself because I was an intercessor and I didn't wake up. And so I took the guilt and the condemnation and the shame for not waking up and praying that protection over my child.
Then you have to forgive the drunk driver who was also killed at the time. And then you forgive God. Now, God doesn't do anything that needs forgiving, but it's our perception of his goodness that I needed to forgive him for. My perception to say he was not. Why did you do this? Those were the forgiveness issues that I had to deal with. But you see, I always knew where Paul was because he had that deep personal relationship. I don't know where the man who killed him is for eternity.
So I had that assurance that I don't know that that man's mother ever had. Where did it go from there? As you're beginning that journey for yourself, there's obviously others around you. There's Amy's parents. There's your husband. We all go on that forgiveness journey at our own pace. So how was it as you're walking that forgiveness journey? How was it for the people around you at that time?
I learned early on that you have to give permission for everyone to grieve in their own way and in their own time. So that's something Gil and I and our other children did. Everybody grieved differently, and we gave each other permission to do that. And everybody will have different triggers. I have Paul's Christmas ornament. When they were born, they each got their birth year. And that was very, very difficult for me when I put his ornament on the tree every year.
That did not have the same trigger for my husband or my children. But for me, that one was huge. I was the kind who absolutely hated the question, how are you? Because I did not like, good, okay, fine, all right. I go, not my thing. So I said to the Lord, I said, give me something that I can tell people that's truth but isn't this pat answer stuff. And you know what he gave me? Three words. He said, you're victorious, you're an overcomer, and you're more than a conqueror.
God gave me those words four months prior to Paul's death. When people tried to place the victim mentality on me, I had been speaking truth out of my own mouth because God gave me those. And I didn't get sucked in to that victim mindset of the poor you. You mentioned that different things trigger you to triggering other people. And in this world today, we hear so much about things that trigger others and how we need to ensure that we're not triggering other people.
And yet, as we walk through life, as you say, there are different things that will trigger different people. How much responsibility do we need to put in our souls and realize that is something that will affect me and I need to deal with it? How much do we need to take our own responsibility for those things that can be a trigger? And how much do we need to be sensitive to others and whatever it may be that triggers them? Well, I have a phrase that I use with my coaching clients all the time.
And that is, if my reaction is more intense than what the situation calls for, there's a need for healing in me. So I take a look and let's say somebody says something to you and you fly off the handle because it taps into an old wound. So it really isn't the person you're reacting to. You're reacting to previous memories. That's where we dig in and that's where we go and say, OK, where's the root? Where did this start? Why this reaction?
And usually it's because we believed a lie about ourselves or about somebody else. No one wants to be insensitive to someone else and we shouldn't be doing that. But so often people will want to put the blame on that other person rather than saying, uh-huh, that's touched something inside me. I need to do business with God on this one. Do you find that that is a difficulty for some people in overturning the culture and saying, no, no, this one sits with me? Absolutely, without a doubt.
Personal responsibility is not something that people jump in and say, yeah, let's go. Let's take care of the business and deal with this because it's painful. We try to blame others as a means of self-protection. Tell me a little about how you came to helping others through that forgiveness journey and coaching other people to live that victorious life. When did you decide, I've discovered something, God has given me a particular path, and I need to share that with others?
I was a homemaker for over 50 years. I was unpaid, but I did mentor a lot of people. I described the difference between mentoring and coaching like this. Mentoring is from the outside trying to get in to somebody else, a teaching, a skill, something like that. Whereas coaching, the answer is on the inside of the person. And it's my responsibility to draw out the answers from them because they have the answers within them. My job as a coach is not to tell them things.
It's to draw out the truth and to help them align with their inner self and with God, working through those things, coming to their own conclusions and solutions. And when they do that, they're committed because it didn't come from me. It came from within them. And then they want to go after it. They're embracing it because they recognized and realized it for themselves. And I love coaching. As a matter of fact, if I had to give my superpower, it's asking questions.
And I think you're a pretty good superpower as well with asking the right questions there. Tell me about turning that into what it has now become. You've got your website where you're inviting people in. You're offering people the opportunity to be coached. When did you decide to actually say, I need this to go even further and to create those pathways for more people to be coached, more people to be mentored? Two things. Number one is I'm not a sit on your hands kind of gal.
COVID was a kick in the butt I needed. That's when I got certified to be a life coach. Number two, I always ask God for a word for the year. This year, he said, stop playing small. That was my word for the year. And I went, huh? I said, okay, God, what does that mean? He said, for you playing small is one-on-one coaching. I had a stroke last September. And God told me at that time, I'm not taking you home. I have put too much in you. I have brought you through too much. This needs to go out.
That's when I started doing podcasts and going back to speaking. I had dropped that for a while. I find it interesting that as you mentioned, you've become a certified life coach. And yet we see so many people that take on that mantle. I've seen people in their early 20s who become certified as a life coach. And I wouldn't want to minimize what they're able to do and the processes they take people through. But it's almost like, well, they haven't really had much of an opportunity to live a life.
How powerful is it when you're actually coaching someone, when you're taking them on that journey, for them to realize that actually you have lived experience? When you're talking about forgiveness, in a number of ways, you have lived experience that will help them in their journey. That is true. But again, like I said, with coaching, your primary responsibility is drawing the answers from within them. And so you're not necessarily telling them anything, but your stories do encourage them.
They do tell them that there is hope, there is light at the end of the tunnel, and it is possible. You don't only get to draw from your experience, and you have a wealth of experience in that area of forgiveness, of victory. Being a follower of Jesus, you have thousands of years of experience to draw on. You can go back to the scriptures and show again and again God's faithfulness through the scriptures, and then right throughout history. How powerful is that when you're coaching someone?
Oh, it's phenomenal. And it's so much fun to see people set free. When we get to the root of their lies, and they tell me what they believe, and I say, okay, can you give me a scripture that confirms that? And they look at me and go, no. And I say, well, how about this one? Well, yeah, but that's the opposite of what I just said. And I said, precisely, which means that you're believing something other than truth. Because if it doesn't line up with the word, then it isn't truth.
And we're certainly told to lean not on our own understanding, and yet that seems to be something that has infiltrated not just society in general, but has even infiltrated the church. How concerning is that, that so many people want to claim a relationship with Jesus and yet at the same time lean on their own understanding of what seems right to them? Some people love the idea of a Savior, but they're not real thrilled about a Lord. And Jesus is both Savior and Lord.
And so that means obedience. Tell me about some of the people that you've been able to coach, some of the stories. And I know that privacy is a big issue, so you're not wanting to give away anyone's private details, but where you've seen a breakthrough. Are there one or two people that you've seen a real transformation in as you've taken them through this process? I had one in particular who had an ex that was very, very critical, very, very negative, especially with regards to finances.
And after she was divorced, she had to earn her own money. But all of the lies that had been repeated to her over and over, she bought into. She didn't think she was capable. And seeing the breakthrough of what God said about her being her provider, showing her that he is the one that leads and guides and orders her steps, you watch the breakthrough, you watch the freedom and go, Wow, everything he told me wasn't who I am.
And that is just so freeing and a delight and joy to be able to witness God's work in their life. There is no greater joy than being a coach and seeing how God will work and do that in them. Or somebody else who had issues with the Father, the change that made in their understanding of who Father God was because it was not who the earthly Father had been. And you're dealing with a number of issues here. One of them is that we don't know what normal is.
If we've lived a certain way, we assume that that's normal until we find out, hey, no, it's not. And the same with those lies. You're uncovering all these lies, and yet so often we don't believe that they're lies. We believe that they're truth because that's all we've ever known. How difficult is it for some people to actually realise that what they've believed all the way along has been a lie and that there is a truth that will set them free?
That's why I ask them to show me a scripture, showing what they think is truth in the Word, and they can't find it. And sometimes I help them, and other times I'll have them go to a concordance or things like that as well. Then I start having them make declarations, and there is nothing more powerful than taking the Word of God, speaking it over yourself, and doing it in a mirror, telling yourself, this is truth, and making those.
And so that's what I have them do, and that's how that becomes real on the inside of them and moves from just head knowledge to experiential knowledge. What we say, we believe more than what anybody else tells us. So that's why it's important that we speak those truths out loud so we hear that truth with our own ears. And I imagine for some people on that journey, the first few times that they start to do that feels a little awkward. It feels wrong.
They don't actually believe that until God actually starts to plant it, as you say, not just in the head but in the heart. And that would be the aha moment for so many people, wouldn't it? I will tell you, I had a coach. She wanted me to say in the mirror, I love you, Corinne. Do you know I couldn't do it? I bawled, booger cried. No other way to put it. I had to do that for months before I could look myself in the mirror and I say, Corinne, listen up. I love you. You are lovable. That's truth.
And I would do it with conviction. But it took me months to get there. If people want to get in touch with you, obviously the best place is at your website, and I will leave links to websites in the show notes at bleedingdaylight.net. But, Corinne, I just want to say thank you for sharing your story and thank you for the work that you're doing in helping to uncover lies, in helping to release people into the freedom that only Christ can give.
And thank you for spending time with me today on Bleeding Daylight. Thanks so much, Rodney. Thank you for listening to Bleeding Daylight. Please help us to shine more light into the darkness by sharing this episode with others. For further details and more episodes, please visit bleedingdaylight.net.