Wherever there are shadows, there are people ready to kick out the darkness until it bleeds daylight. This is Bleeding Daylight with your host Rodney Olsen.
Welcome and thanks for listening. As you enjoy this episode of Bleeding Daylight, please remember there are many more episodes at bleedingdaylight.net or wherever you listen to podcasts. Please connect with Bleeding Daylight on social media. By her own admission, today's guest is a true airhead. She has an incredible story of survival against enormous odds. I'll introduce you in a moment.
Today's guest is a wife, a mother of four and grandmother of seven. Brenda Nearpass is also a writer, a survivor of a brain tumor, and an advocate for the National Brain Tumor Society. She tells her story in the book, Memoir of a True Airhead, a powerful true story of love, hope, and miracles. It's such a pleasure to welcome her to Bleeding Daylight. Brenda, thank you so much for your time today.
Thank you,
I'm sure that the diagnosis of a brain tumor would have been a major shock. But I know that you had quite a lead up to that diagnosis. Tell me about the first signs that something wasn't quite right.
I had headaches most of my life. So headaches were not assigned to me. About a week prior to my surgery, I started doing weird things. When I was I went to a client's house, I'm a real estate agent. I took the wrong signs. I had the key on my hand and lost the key as I was putting the lockbox on their house could not find the key anywhere. And I never had done that before. So I laughed it off thinking
it was menopause because I was at the age where that was about to start and apologize to clients. While the next day I went to pick up my daughter from school, which I did daily. And it's sitting in the parking lot. I looked around and I just knew that something was not right. I couldn't figure it out at first, but it took several minutes of looking around. And then it was like the curtains being drawn back
at a theater. I realized I was sitting in at the wrong school. This was a private school, very small parking lot smaller building and completely different architecture and on a different street than the street where my daughter school is. So little strange things like that was happening. I lost my keys and my own pocket of my shorts. That was because the brain tumor, the location of where it was, was
causing the left side of my body to not function properly anymore, and the feeling had kind of gone. I spent about half an hour looking for my keys when they were in my pocket the whole time. So I laughed that off again, as this must be menopause because what else could have been done on a Friday morning, I woke up at 4am and with such massive pain and my head it felt like somebody had taken an axe and split my head
open. So my husband got me some pain reliever. I was able to go back to sleep, but I don't remember the rest of that day. And then Saturday morning I woke up with massive pressure and my face and lots of pain. And I was like I must have a sinus infection. My husband took me to a walk in clinic the doctor there agreed with me that it was a sinus infection, gave me antibiotics and sent me on my way home. The next
day, there was no relief. The pain and pressure was even more intense. So my husband took me back to that walk in clinic again. That doctor told me I just hadn't given the antibiotics enough time to work. And so he gave me a shot of pain medicine. Then he sent me home with more pain medicine that I could take during the nighttime if I needed it. When we arrived to our house, I knew I was gonna get sick and headed for
the bathroom and just started violently vomiting. I just figured it was a reaction to the shot that the doctor had given me. On Monday, my husband went to work and my mom was with me, and she would get me ice packs and heat packs, and nothing was helping with the pain. And the pressure that was on my face. I got to the point where I just knew something was terribly wrong. And I called my dad and had
him come over and pray for me, which was something I had never asked him to do. When he arrived. When I his best friends was with him. My mom and the two of them, they placed their hands on me and prayed. After they were done praying, I felt some relief and was able to be comfortable. For the first time and days. When my husband got home that evening, he figured he needed to take me back to the clinic because I
hadn't been drinking anything or eating anything for several days at that point. He had me go with him to the clinic, the doctor there said there's nothing more that they could do for us and sent us to the hospital. When my husband said, Come on, Brenda, let's go. I could no longer move. So he picked me up and carried me to the car. The next thing I remember was hearing a gentleman's voice saying we found
blood on her brain and she needs to be admitted immediately. That was one I am on Tuesday morning. Few hours later, they did an MRI. And those machines are very loud with beeps, and buzzes and all different sorts of sounds. I didn't remember that at all. But I do remember two neurosurgeons coming in and telling me that they had found this brain tumor. I didn't believe them and told them no, it's not a brain
tumor, the problems I'm having as because of my knee. I tore my ACL a while ago. I'm just having problems because of my knee. And they assured me No, you, you really do have a brain tumor. And then they showed us the scan of this massive tumor that was in my head. They told me I had two options. My first option was to not have surgery, and I would die within a couple of days. The second option was to have surgery,
hopefully make it through the surgery. If I did make it through the surgery, more than likely I would never talk normal or walk normal. And I would never drive again. But am I walking talking God miracle.
It's rather amazing when you hear someone finds a diagnosis to something that has been troubling them for a time, oftentimes, that's a relief, because finally we can do something about it. But in this case, the options Either way, you got your diagnosis. But the options either way, didn't sound promising at all. So how do you make your decision when you're faced with that, that, hey, this could go badly this way? Or it could go badly this way? How did you come to that decision?
I asked my son what his thoughts on it were. He's a very intelligent, young man, and knows way more than I ever will. He started talking and giving his opinion. I sat there thinking to myself, This can't be real. Why is this happening now? My husband and I, we had been married for less than two years, things were finally starting to be good in my life. I wasn't ready to give up on that. And
my youngest child was 13 at the time. She needed me to be there for her and I wanted to you know, be around so that I could see her graduate from high school, see her get married. And so I just decided at that point. I was like, Well, the first choice wasn't good. And so the second choice was a little bit better. So we'll just do that. And I told the doctor I said just take it out.
It must have been a very difficult decision but once it's made they take you off for the surgery. What are your first memories after the surgery?
When I woke up, I was so happy to be alive. When they asked how I was feeling I actually started singing. I sang I lost that tumor feeling, whoa, that tumor feeling. I lost that tumor feeling now it's gone long gone, and I was cracking jokes about being a airhead. Now I truly was a true airhead, because where this massive tumor was, all of that was now air and my brain had been exposed to the world.
It's rather remarkable to find that this tumor that has been growing over time is finally gone. Because there were signs of it for quite some time. Did you get any understanding from the doctors actually how far back this went, how long you're suffering from this tumor without knowing it.
The type of brain tumor, I have is a meningioma grade two Meningiomas are very slow growing tumor. They figured it probably started back when I was a teenager.
Wow, that's a long time to have something like that growing. And finally, you've come to have this removed. And I suppose there's the rehabilitation after that, how quickly did you start to respond to that rehabilitation and get to so called normal?
Well, I'm still not normal and the surgery was five years ago, they're in the hospital, they told me that I would have to be in the hospital for two weeks. And then I would have to go to a rehabilitation center for probably two weeks because I was going to have to learn how to walk again, I was determined not to have to do any of that. When I tore my ACL a year prior, I had to relearn how to walk
three times with that. Now, I look back on it. And I feel God was preparing me for the moment in the hospital, when they gave me the chance to get up. The first thing they asked me to do was to brush my teeth. So I started getting out of bed on my own. And the physical therapists stopped me and they had to put this belt around me so that they could be holding on to that belt in case I fell, they would be
able to lift me because they of course didn't want my head to like hit anything. I had a walker, but I was walking on my own. It was just all of that training that I had gone through with the ACL that prepared me for that moment in the hospital that I could prove to them that I could walk. God laid everything out perfectly for me.
When we start to add God into the equation, when we start to talk about faith. There would be some people who would say, Well, it's great that God was there along with you, and helping you during this process and even pre preparing you with with the work that you had done earlier. But they might say, Well, if God is God, why did you get the brain tumor in the first place? So these are some of the questions that you've asked.
Over the years, I've asked questions like that. I look at it as a parent, I want to protect my children the best that I possibly can. But because they have freedom of choice, which God gives us, sometimes I cannot protect them and things just happen. Sometimes they get hurt. But I'm there to help them after they're hurt and to be able to heal. That's how God is with us.
What was the feeling within your family once you had come through that surgery? I guess there was great relief, but also knowing that there was a long road ahead. How did family rally around you at that stage?
They came to the hospital and were there of course my dad prayed for the neurosurgeons hands and ability to remove the tumor. Then after the surgery once I got home, my family was here. My oldest daughter lived with us during the summer so that she could take care of me when my husband wasn't able to be here. At first, they pretty much had to do everything for me. I wasn't supposed to walk very
much because I had to keep my heart rate down so that the swelling and my head would stay low. So they would walk me to the bathroom. They would take me up to the shower. My oldest daughter had to bathe me That's something that I never thought any of my children would have to do for me. That's something that's very hard for an adult. But I was so grateful that she was willing to step up and do that, when I didn't have the ability to.
There's a real dependency upon others when you go through something like this. And I imagine being a realtor or a real estate agent, very successful mum and all the rest, you probably had grown very used to being dependent on yourself, because you're a very capable woman. So how was it to actually come into that place where you had to be dependent on others?
it was very difficult. If I was left in a room by myself, I would get up and move around a little bit, I guess, kind of being a cheeky little child or something. Just wanting to prove that I still had the ability to be on my own. But I was so grateful that my family was willing to show up every day to help me not only my eldest daughter, but my middle daughter, and my youngest one, I
have four children, and they all helped when my husband wasn't here. That was good for him too, because he was able to leave the situation, take him self out of all the stress that was going on, then he could come back, also with my children, they would be able to leave them too. So I was grateful that all of my family was here to help with that
Tell me about some of the lessons that God taught you along that way.
Some of the lessons I've learned to be patient, to think about others, I just kept putting myself in other people's shoes, who I know who have gone through harder situations. And so I was grateful for the situation I was in, and that it wasn't worse than it could have been. It could have been way worse. I have learned to trust in God more. I've learned that God does listen to our prayers. I didn't think God was
listening to my prayers, because there were many times I would pray for something. And my prayers weren't answered. And I had done many bad things through my lifetime. And I just thought, well, maybe God has just kind of set me to side because I did do all those wrong, bad things. But God showed me that he does hear all the prayers, and that he listens to them. But just like us as parents, we don't give
our kids absolutely everything that they asked for. God doesn't give us everything that we asked for to.
When was it that you decided, with all the lessons that you'd learned about going through that surgery, but also what God was doing in your life? When did you decide that you needed to write that down and turn that into a book?
I started writing down what happened fairly shortly after the surgery, because there were so many blank spots, I didn't know what happened. I needed to fill in all those blank spots as best as I could. I asked my husband and my daughters multiple times. And I kept asking the same questions over. And I could tell that they were starting to get a little impatient with me. And so I decided to start writing it
down for myself to help me be able to remember and try to figure out just how everything came into play. So then after I wrote everything down, I started reading it to my husband. And then I thought, well, maybe somebody else might benefit from the experience I had gone through.
And you've been able to put this book together which has given other people hope, I'm sure what has been the response of those who have read the book.
The response has been good. I have talked with a couple of people, one who has a brain tumor, and she will be going
it must be incredibly powerful for you to know that it's having that effect, you're also having an effect. Being an advocate into surgery in a couple of weeks. And it gave her hope and it's made it not so scary for her to go through the surgery. Another person lost her daughter a year ago. She said that my book reminded her that God wants us to be happy. God wants us to live happy lives. It helped her through the mourning process of her daughter,
for the National Brain Tumor Society. Tell me what that involves.
With the National Brain Tumor Society, it was started by a person who lost a relative to a brain tumor. They have been working on raising awareness, raising funds. There are many charity events throughout the year, where the money goes to funding for the National Brain tumor Society. What I have done is meetings with our state senator and legislators, sharing my story and asking them to sponsor a
different legislature. It's good to share our stories with them, we need more funding for brain tumor research and to find a cure, we've found that there's a high percentage of US veterans that served in Afghanistan, they have brain cancer and brain tumors, and their children are at a higher risk of having brain cancer. So they're doing research to find why that is, and then to, you know, help them with their
treatments. To this day, there has not been a actual treatment for children that have brain tumors and brain cancer, they go through the same type of treatment that an adult does. We all know that children's brains are not the same as adult brains, yet, they're still being treated the same. So we're really trying to find a treatment for children. And
I'm sure that the advocacy is going to make a difference there, as you meet with various people who have the say is, especially within your country. I'm just wondering about the book, I'm sure that not everyone is going to be going through the same sorts of things that you went through through that brain tumor and and the surgery. But do you think that your book is going to be helpful for people that are going through their own difficult time?
I believe so. I talk a little bit more than just the brain tumor. And my book, it's a lot about hope, just hope in general, and God answers our prayers, and that there are miracles that happen around us every day. And sometimes a miracle is like when my oldest daughter flew up here, the day of my surgery, the pilot asked everybody on the plane to stay seated so that she could get off the plane first.
And actually everybody did. And to me, that is a miracle for something like that to happen. So if we just open our eyes, we can see that there are miracles that happen every day.
Absolutely, it's a great encouragement. Brenda, if people are wanting to hear a bit more of your story or to find your book, where is the easiest place for people to find you.
My website is BrendaNearpass.com. and they can also find my book on Amazon and Barnes and Noble.
And I will put links in the show notes at bleeding daylight.net so that people can find that easily. It's an amazing story and an amazing recovery and lots more detail in that book memoir of a true airhead. Brenda, I want to say thank you so much for sharing your story today Bleeding Daylight.
Thank you very much.
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