You're listening to a mom and mer podcast.
Hello, and welcome to biz Inbox. I'm m Vernum and I'm so fast and so we are recording this on a Friday morning. And I don't want to say this is me, but let's pretend I have a friend who's extremely hungover and they still have to do a full days of work.
What should they do to quickly get out of it?
This makes me respect you more if you are this together. I mean, if your friend is this together and they hungover. No, it's Friday, the sun's out, everyone can chill. I think it's fine. You do your best for half the day and then you leave.
Okay, thank you.
Drink my mum, you saw say if I had to go into what kind of she's just like, put heaps of blush on.
Okay, good strategy.
Strategy.
I will tell my friend that exactly. So this week in bus in Box, we are getting into a whole lot of juicy questions. We're talking about micromanagers, we're talking about calendar etiquette, and we're also talking about how to actually stay motivated at work. So hit me with the first question.
So this question actually came to me through Instagram and it's like top three questions that I get asked.
So I actually wanted to talk about it on This is Today. Oh I love that. Yeah. So the question is my boss is.
Such a micromanager. They're constantly checking in to see if I've done tasks, they nitpick all my work, they make me see them in all of my emails.
Is this said them problem or do they just hate me? So let's unpack this. First of all, I've sam has this ever happened to you? Like, have you ever worked with a micromanager type person?
Yes? All my micromanagy persons have been the managers I've had in between my two permanent managers, so they'd be like kind of like a stand in manager. And for me, I think it wasn't really them micromanaging me, but it was more them trying to understand my whole role and then me being super egotistical in my early twenties going just let me do my thing, like I know what I'm doing, I.
Don't need you. Yeah, don't you know who I am?
Do you not know? And it doesn't even have to be a manager. I think I've experienced micromanaging from like different people, even colleagues who are just like managing a project that I'm working on, and it is one of my biggest pet peet's Like I can't stand.
Yeah, it makes it really hard. So I love what you just said because you actually just set up the first point, which is it can be a personality thing and a style thing with the manager, or it can actually be situational. So just to kind of go back to the question, you know, first, for all, your boss doesn't hate you. It's probably more them than it is
your performance. But micromanaging is essentially it's a trust issue, so they don't fully trust that you are able to do your work independently, so they're like all up in your shit. And the trust thing, it can either be a them problem or it can be a U problem, and most common is it's a them problem.
So often the best.
Individual contributors, like, if you're really good at your job going through, you're like a real high achiever, and then you get your first manager your role, often you will be a micromanager at the start because like you're letting go of control.
It's actually quite hard.
And so a lot of the best managers that I talk to, they're like, yeah, I used to be a micromanager.
It's also just a star thing for some people.
So first of all, know that your manager's probably not doing it intentionally, but they do need to change if they're doing it, because it can just like completely undermine your work and your confidence and things like that, and
it just makes things way slower. So first of all, just in terms of like recognizing signs with your manager, and then we'll talk about what you can do first, Like is it situational, So is this a new manager, like new to the company, new to the role, need to the team, or is there like something going on in that manner life that has fully rocked their confidence and is like making them really nervous, Or is like the project that you're working on with them so big
and important that so many senior ladies in involved that they're really just like wanting to hold on to all the details. So look at this situation first. It can also just be down to their style, So it can be their like anxious type of person. They're just like that kind of controlling personality where they just really want to be across everything. So first, while I would look at that, also reflect on yourself. So sometimes as well,
it's an issue of reliability on your side. So the best way that you can gain trust with your manager, the fastest way is to tell them what you're going to do, do the thing, and then tell them that you did the thing. And if you do that consistently and over communicate, they're going to start to have trust in you. So just kind of reflect on yourself and just say, like, am I doing anything that kind of makes them not trusting and make them think that I'm
not reliable? Probably not, Like most of the time it is a manager situation. So what I would do is I like to do a little thought experiment first, and I just put myself in their shoes. I always love to start with empathy if it is like their personality or their situation, just for like ten seconds, just feel a little bit sorry for them because it is hard being a manager, and like they probably don't want a micromanager if they know they're doing it.
That said, they do need to change.
So what you do first is you really over communicate, and so just like do not give them a reason to have to ask you for things. So over communicate, be super proactive about everything and just like keep them updated on stuff. And then you'll notice that they will start to trust you more and hopefully they'll start to micromanage you less and you can pull back. If that doesn't work, then you do need to start setting some boundaries.
So say, for example, it's like five o'clock and you just shut your laptop and they're like, can you walk me through this whatever? They start asking you heaps of questions about something that they just emailed you about. You do need to start practicing saying can we talk about this at nine o'clock tomorrow kind of thing if they keep doing it consistently, because some managers don't change if they keep doing it consistently, you do need to start looking at some boundaries to put in place.
Boundaries. I feel like boundaries with managers are such a scary area.
It's also very controversial right now because the main thing that people when I tell people that I have my company is a coaching company for gen Z, the one thing that they always bring up is this like issue of boundaries. So I do want to say that you do have to be careful with having these really firm boundaries that aren't flexible. So I'm not saying that I'm not saying every time you ask your manager asks you
to stay back. You're like, no, I'm leaving. But I do think that if you've got a micromanager type manager, and you've tried other things, and you've done the whole over communicating thing, then the next thing that I would start to look at is just some kind of healthy boundary setting.
Oh that's so good, okay. Our next question came to our instagram. Via our Instagram dms, you can follow us beers by Mom and mea and also dm us if you want one of your questions answered on the podcast, and it said, what's the deal with making calendars hidden? I see a lot of the senior people in my company have all their blocks set to quote busy, so you can't see what meetings they're actually in. It's making me spiral because I think they're hiding something.
Oh man, I know, it's so annoying.
Right, it is annoying.
First of all, m what's your calendar situation? Do you have all your blocks visible?
Yeah?
Mine's completely visible. I feel like if you have, and this might be an unpopular opinion, but if you have your calendar blocked from people seeing what actual meetings you're in, it makes me think that you think you're really important, so jope when I it's.
Really funny when you see someone who like early career, mid career, and then they get promoted and then maybe they're like a manager for the first time, and then all of a sudden they just change everything to be busy because they think it's a flex There is obviously reasons and there's like valid reasons that people say their calendar to that.
But first of all, just think like, if.
This is you, I don't want to offend anyone, but just think about it is actually really hard for people to schedule stuff when all of your things are set to busy, right, especially if you don't have administrative busy as partner or PA.
So just think about that.
I mean, the valid reasons are that a lot of the time with senior leaders, they really are getting pulled in all the time to the types of meetings where it's not appropriate for everyone in the company to know. And also there is some pretty hard course calendar stalking that can go on, and you can piece together things that are happening at your company, who's getting promoted, who's getting which job, who's getting fired by the types of
meetings that different managers are having. So I do know that there's like fully valid reasons that very smulators or just like other people need to set them to busy or at certain periods if they're working on sort of a particular type of project, you need.
To set it to that. But yeah, I mean do people do it in your office?
In Yeah, a few people. There's no hard rules about it, like you can choose whether to have it hidden or not, and it's like different people. But what I struggle with is that sometimes people like do time blocking in their calendar, which actually learned from you and Mesh how to like even like putting like for example, like on Fridays, I have like a part of my calendar that's for like my task pebbles that you suggested in their previous episode that will link in the show notes that has blocked
out my calendar. And I think there are other people in the business who have their calendars hidden from everyone, but they'll have like little tasks blocked in. So then I have to if I need an urgent meeting with them, and even if it's a meeting that they've asked me to put in and it's really urgent, and I see like just a full block in their whole calendar. I have to then do an extra task on top of that, which is like approach them and be like, hey, are
you able to check your calendar for me? Can I fit in this meeting that you've requested, that you said is urgent anywhere in here? And that's what kind of annoys me about the whole hidden calendar thing.
You hit the nail on the head. I totally agree, Am.
It makes it really hard for everyone else in the company. A lot of very senior leaders will have it if they've also got an assistance, So like yees set everything to busy, but then there's always an assistant that you can get in touch with to like schedule things. Anyway, what people should be doing is it's like a tiny bit of extra work for them. But you can set individual meetings as private. Obviously, it's not that hard. It's
like one extra click. So like, in general, try to keep your calendar open, and then for those private meetings, you just have to get into the habit of setting those to private. Oh yeah, but no, I tell them, I think you're right. I agree with you, and I think you're right. Back to this person's question, like it's making me spiral. I think generally, try to adopt the mindset at work that nothing is really about you.
And it's just business man.
Don't worry.
Everyone loves you, You're doing great and things are going to be fine.
Yeah, and maybe hide your calendar in spite. Yeah, no one could see anyone's calendar's anymore. So after the break, we are going to be talking about a question on how to stay motivated at a job you don't really like. So so this next question came via our email and it says, I've been in a role for a six months. I know it's not for me the job and the company, but I don't want a job hunt right now because I have so much other stuff going on in my life.
How can I stay motivated when I'm just really not into my job?
Motivation is a funny thing, like motivation and passion and purpose at work. It's such a funny thing, isn't it. How do you feel about motivation at work?
It's really tricky because I feel like my motivation like spikes, and it's so dependent on so many variables, Like it's spikes depending on what projects I'm working on. Because I do a lot of different things. It spikes, like depending on my hormones, Like literally my periods like will dictate
how I'm motivated at work. And just like exactly what I guess a non said in this question, everything else that's going on in your life, Like sometimes you just have so much going on that pushing yourself to be motivated is like the only kind of I guess glimmer of hope to actually enjoy your lifestyle outside of your personal lifestyle. So I kind of feel for this person and who submitted, because sometimes you just have to do
the job and it really sucks. And I think if you're constantly feeling so unmotivated and you're not enjoying your work, then even like regardless of your lifestyle. And I know this is probably a privileged answer to say, but I would just try to get out of there or just try to like maybe do a different role in the same company and just be honest about how you're feeling.
Yeah, I love this advice. I think you're right look at it short term and long term.
So sometimes like short term periods of being unmotivated is totally fun and normal. If that's going to turn into a long term thing, then like you're wasting your own time, and it's going to affect a lot. So you know, they've done so many studies into what actually makes you happy at work, right, and like different studies show different things, but there's a few things that always get in the
top five. One of them is always like your core working groups, your manager and your immediate team, and like do you like the people that you work with in that core working group. The other one that I think is fascinating that relates to this is the thing that makes you happy at work and makes you feel like you've had a good day at work is a sense
of progress. And I think the thing with motivation sometimes it's like if you're going into work every day and you're like, nothing that I do actually even matters, Like I could work really hard and do my job really well, or I could just be phoning it in. No one's really noticing, it doesn't really change the results for the company. I don't even know why I'm working on these things, Like no one's actually explaining to me why this stuff
is important. You just have this feeling like I'm making no progress towards anything, and so that can actually make you demotivated, and it can make.
You really unhappy.
So it sounds like with this question that it's a short term thing. So let's see, I've been in my row for six months. I know it's not the job for me. So the first thing I would always say is like ask your off why you're not motivated, and then.
Try and change your situation.
But if this person sort of decided like I'm just going to do this job for a little bit, there's other stuff going on, I don't want to change my situation right now, I would say, mentally, decide how long you're going to stay that job, So say I'm going to do another six months or I'm going to do another twelve months, and then create a sense of.
Progress for yourself.
So what I would do is I would pick one person in the company or one skill. So for a person, try and find one person in the company who's like a high quality person that you might want to learn from or like get closer to start by just kind of learning more about them, knowing what they're up to, you kind of thing. Try and take them for coffee if you can, and just figure out a way, like is there a way that you can work on something
with this person? Like Google, we had things like twenty percent projects and job shadowing and things like that.
But you can just figure out, like, is there sort.
Of something that you could work on with this person so you can learn from them and create a relationship. So that's the person one or I would pick one skill. So what is one skill that you can totally master in the next twelve months or the next six months is going to be a skill that you're then going to take with you for the rest of your career and then talk to your manager and really say, like, I really want to work on this skill, make it
your focus, and see how they can support you in that. So, whether that's doing a course, whether that's getting yourself onto a different project where.
You're able to develop that skill.
And what you're going to find is because you've set yourself this goal of like either developing a relationship with that person or that skill, you're going to take that with you when you leave that job, Like that goes with you for the rest of your career. Instead of this being you know, twelve months wasted in a job you're not motivated about, you're actually flipping it and you're like, I'm gaining this and that's going to come with me in my next role.
That is excellent advice, Like yay, I've never heard advice like that before. Oh my god, I wish I had a pen and paper on me right now. Yeah, so I to listen back on this episode.
I'll send you the link. Yeah. That is actually a good call out to a newsletter. So thank you for helping you clear the busy your box.
If you want to subscribe to you our newsletter, the link to that is in the show notes. And I actually subscribe myself and I really like it, so shout out to Katie who writes it.
It's awesome.
Katie is absolutely brilliant. And if you miss any of our episodes, please go back in your podcast feed to see what else we put out there. We'll also link a few in our show notes. We will be back here in your busy in box next week.
Bye bye, Mamma.
Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters that this podcast is recorded on