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Hi, I'm Kezia, a stroke survivor and a member of BIND.
And Hi, I'm Carrie, a stroke survivor and a member of BIND as well. And today we'd like to welcome Silas Allen to be our guest. He is an education reporter with the Fort Worth Star Telegram and prior to that he worked with the Dallas Observer. Silas is also a graduate of the University of Missouri. So welcome Silas.
Thanks.
Welcome to BINDWAVES, the official podcast of the Brain Injury Network of Dallas. I'm Brian White, BIND's Executive Director. On each episode, we'll be providing insight into the brain injury community. We'll be talking to members and professionals regarding their stories and the important role of BIND's Clubhouse. We work as a team to inspire hope, community, and a sense of purpose to survivors, caregivers, and the public. Thank you for tuning into BINDWAVES. Let's get on with the show.
So, kind of to get us started, before we get into all the big questions we have for you, we understand that you are also a stroke survivor. Can you tell us a little bit about that? And just you in general. Yeah,
um, so my stroke was on November 1st of 2021, and, like, I had actually kind of a lot going on that week before I had a stroke. Uh, that was a Monday, and I, during that week, was planning on, I had been working on a project at work, Kind of a story about, um, reading scores in Fort Worth, Fort Worth ISD specifically. And I was planning on bringing that project kind of in for a landing that, that by the end of that week.
And also, I'm, besides being a reporter at the Fort Worth Star Telegram, I'm a tenor in the Dallas Symphony Chorus, which is the choir that performs with the Dallas Symphony Orchestra. And that week we were opening with, um, the Mozart Requiem. So it was actually going to be my first concert with the DSC because they'd been on hiatus, hiatus for COVID. And then that Monday I had a stroke and all of that got, you know, got canceled basically.
Oh, wow. Well, that's so interesting. I actually think it's interesting that we're like, it was a Monday because I had a stroke too on a Monday and I don't know why it seems so important to be like, it's a Monday, a normal day of work and it just totally changed. But you had a stroke very early, like pretty recently.
Yeah, I had a stroke in 2017, December, um, and it's been taking a very long time to recover and it's looking awesome that you're being a reporter and getting back to where you were at before. Um, because of the stroke and, um, how did that make it a change or affect your abilities?
Um, for for reporting, where I was actually really fortunate is that it was on the right side, which means it didn't affect my communication at all. It affected everything on my left side. I was totally paralyzed on the left side. Couldn't walk, couldn't use my left arm, but I could still talk. I could still, you know, it didn't affect me cognitively that much. So when I came back to work, The only accommodations I needed had to do with typing, really.
And also the fact that I couldn't drive at first. My car is stick shift, so you use all, you know, both hands, both legs to drive it. And it took me a little while before I could do that again. Um, so
Wait, wait, wait. So you still drive a stick?
I still drive a stick.
Oh, wow.
Yep.
Okay, that's impressive.
Very impressive.
I guess I'd drive a stick again, because there were like, you know, five months in there where I couldn't drive anything. Right. Um, but One thing that helped me a lot was that we had already kind of, you know, through COVID, we all learned how to work from home. And I couldn't drive, but I can do my job from home. I've been doing it that way anyway. Um, most of it, you know, most of what I was doing at the time was over the phone, so it actually worked pretty well.
Yeah, that's pretty amazing and yeah, and you're right like it didn't really the stroke didn't affect your what you do for work Because it was on the different side of the brain. That's pretty cool. Uh, the stroke that I had was on the left side of my brain so yeah, my cognitive issues, reading, writing, even texting. I text better just speaking to my phone because my phone will text for me.
Um, but even before we started talking, being recorded, you were mentioning about an application that you use. And I think it's so interesting that you were able to like figure out how to adapt for yourself and for your job. Can you tell us a little bit about that?
Yeah, there's an AI application. app that a lot of reporters use just because it's easier than transcribing your notes called Otter and it, you know, you can have a conversation, like we could be having this conversation now and it would transcribe both sides of it.
I, the way I use that is I have a, you know, my phone, my phone call running through my laptop speakers and then I'll have Otter running in the background and it will transcribe both sides and it's not perfect but it's pretty good and where it's not perfect you can go back and listen to the recording and, you know, make any corrections you need to make yourself.
Yeah, that's cool. So, we're talking about this, so, now I'm, now I have to go back and look because y'all both said, you know, you had a stroke on a Monday. I don't know what day of the week mine was. I don't, I have no clue. So, now I'm going to have to go back and look. But mine was 15 years ago, so I'm going to have to do a little research. Go back way back. Um, but I, my stroke was on the same side as you, so I understand that.
Um, but so my question is, um, so how long after your stroke did you decide you were ready Because I know for me, it was a long time.
Yeah, it was, um, I had my stroke November 1st, like I said, and it was like mid March, the following March, when I went back. And I went back, like, very, very part time.
Um, we had, you know, through that few months in between, I had a lot of conversations with my editor about kind of how, you know, what a return to work would look like, and when I would be ready to do that, and kind of what, you know, Because I was still in day neuro at the time, so there was still, we still had to kind of find a balance that would allow me to work some and still do that, still get the therapy I needed.
Um, and what that ended up being, if I remember correctly, it's been about a year and a half now, but if I remember correctly, it was at first 10, 20 hours a week, something like that. Just kind of broken up however I needed around my rehab schedule.
Yeah, that's, that's a lot because rehab, day neuro is tiring.
Yes, it is.
Where did you go to day neuro?
Uh, CNS, Center for Neuroskills. I went to the location in Las Colinas. Okay,
yeah. I, that's where I went, too. Interesting. Uh, that's interesting. And then like, when you were at CNS and then went back to work, what, what is the big challenges that you had to go through between going from like before a stroke and then recovery and then now you're placing yourself back to work.
Yeah, well, we're like the big challenges like for me in all honesty It was just like keeping myself organized because I had the stroke on the left side of my brain being able to speak with people comfortably. I had aphasia. So like I had yeah, I Speaking was very difficult. I don't think people understand because I'm on a podcast The only thing that fixed it is me talking You know, talking and then realizing if I talk too fast, I'll say the wrong words, I'll slow down.
But, like, what were your challenges?
Typing was the big one. Because I'm a writer, I had to figure out another way. I still don't type very well. I, you know, try to type with my left hand where I can, but it doesn't go that well. I don't have finger isolation. I don't have dexterity in my left hand. So I, mostly I use, there's a speech to text function in Google Docs, and I'll use that. And that works. for a free, you know, a free program.
There are, I, I understand better programs out there, but they're, they're paid versions and I'll, you know, between that and typing with my right hand, I'll, you know, I do okay, but that took a lot of adjustment. And also I think the, The fatigue was a big issue because, like you said, day neuro was exhausting. Yeah. You're doing a lot of stuff in there.
It doesn't, I mean, if, if you, if somebody who doesn't know anything about brain injury walked in there and looked at what they were doing, I don't think it looks exhausting because a lot of it's, you know, sitting and doing little things here. But it's mentally exhausting. And they're asking you to do a lot of really taxing stuff. And then coming home after that and trying to make myself work for a few more hours. That was, that was a lot.
Yeah. I can imagine because like when Kezia and I first started this podcast, I mean, I, again, I was, you know, my stroke was a lot longer ago than hers, but we, the way we did it, we ended up doing eight episodes in one day, because we were gifted this by professionals, and so they came in here and set up, and so we did eight episodes. in the, or five episodes the first day and so we were talking the whole time and then you know the extras at the end You're like all the little extra stuff.
They wanted to cut in that we had to do We both at the end of the day were like, oh my god, but you're right I mean people don't get like people that like I'm giving my mom a hard time right now because she's having problems with her arms So she's going to PT and I'm like your PT is not like my PT Because it doesn't people don't understand that when we're all the therapy that we're doing. It's not just It's working the body parts. It's working the brain.
And the brain is working overtime because the brain is what's been affected the most. So I'm impressed. I mean, we had to go home and take a nap that day.
I still take naps.
I try. I don't really nap as much. I do, I lay down maybe for about 30 minutes, but I don't really take a nap.
I also remember just like scheduling being an issue because like people need, you know, a big part of my job is just scheduling. I was asking people to talk to me to find, you know, make a block in their schedule to talk to me and they can do that when they can do that. And some, if, if that, you know, there were several times where like I was in rehab at the, the only time that week where they could talk to me. And my case manager at CNS was great about just like, okay, you can't come in.
Then we'll find another time for you this week for you to come in and do, you know, get that the, those same hours.
Yeah, I think that's great too that you're basically working with work and your recovery with basically trying to fit both things at the same time. Like that's, you know, and I think it's great like right now that you're saying your case manager like was able to adapt your day to day like or not day to day but your week to week schedule with recovery. What was your conversation with like?
With your boss, like with your employer, like how did that work and how are you able to ask for your accommodations and the modifications that you needed?
Yeah, I should say also like my editor could not have been better about all of this, um, from like the very beginning. When I was still, you know, nominally conscious, my wife emailed him and told him what had happened, and he was in my hospital room like the minute my wife would let him in the door, I think. And he was, I mean, he was really supportive and assured me very early on that I still had a job when I was able to come back to it, which is not something that everybody has.
Um, but he was, you know, because they, frankly, they really wanted me back. He was willing to kind of be flexible around, like, what would this return to work look like? And, didn't, I mean, didn't push me past kind of exactly how that, and even after the point where, like, because of, um, short term disability, because that expired, I had 40 hours a week, still found a way to kind of work that around a rehab schedule.
Yeah, and that
was really helpful.
That's great. Now. I'm curious to you that we talked a little bit in the very beginning about you driving And we just finished up a little mini series about returning to driving. So how long did it take you? To get back to driving. And I'm still really curious about it. Cause like when I'm here again, I said the same as you, when I went back in through my DPS, they put a little limitation on my driver's license that says I can only drive an automatic.
Yeah.
But you have, I think you have more mobility on your left side than I do.
I think so. That was a very long, very frustrating story. Um, the short version is I think I got, I started driving again the following May. Okay. And that was after like a lot of conversations with my, OT about kind of what that looked like and a lot of using a driving simulator, which is not perfect, and they will tell you it's not perfect, but it's, you know, it does a pretty good job.
Um, then I went to, because I was trying to do everything above board, and I didn't, you know, I didn't want to just go, just decide, well, probably I can drive again and start driving. Um, I went to a state, uh, You know, uh, state driving, like, license center and walked in and said, my name is Silas Allen. I've had a stroke. I would like to take the driving test. And they said, we, your license is still valid though.
And I said, yes, but I had a stroke and I would like to take the driving test. And they said, we don't really know what to do with you. Just go home. You're probably good to drive. And I said, I don't think that should be the answer to that question, but okay. So I went home and later on, sure enough, I got a letter from the state saying, we need some documentation because we understand that you've had a stroke. We need some documentation around this.
Longer story than that, but fast forward about a year, they finally decide to ask me to retake the test. So I practiced parallel parking, which I hadn't done in years, um, took the test, passed it and now I'm totally good to drive.
Great. That's awesome.
Yeah. Um, like Carrie said, we just finished like a little mini series about everything is about driving, driving, driving. And it's so interesting to hear this like same Kind of like, um, experience. We had, like, another brain injury survivor tell us about his experience going back into driving. He's like, that's what I was demanding. I want to know that I make sure that I'm okay. But there's nothing that covers that, like, here. I,
I feel like, I remember thinking at the time, it feels like the system is set up for people who never, who either never lose that ability or lose that ability and never get it back. Right. Um, it's not set up that way. It's like the law doesn't make that many allowances for like you can get better from a thing like a stroke. Sure.
Yeah, yeah, but I like that persistence that you had to make sure to cover yourself to make sure that you're, you're good. So I think that's great. I think that's basically the point that we were trying to do in the last couple series. It's just that. We're brain injury survivors and we're gonna be okay. Yeah, and you just take these extra steps and it's okay
Yeah,
I'm in that step right now
We're still we're still pushing Kezia along. She's got her permit now.
Yeah, I have my permit.
She's from Chicago. So she didn't have to drive Oh, yeah.
Yeah,
but yeah,
but I'm in that same step They gave me the permit but then they didn't really test me to drive And, but now I still feel like I need somebody that's not my parents that believe in me. I need someone to really know that I could park, which I don't think I can park but that's at the step that I'm in. But I think listening to you, it's like, okay. Motivating me. Yeah. Okay. I got it.
That's great. Yeah. Um, I'm trying to think if there's any other stroke related questions I wanna ask, but I think we pretty, they'll probably come up more because brain injury will be like, oh wait, by the way. Mm-Hmm. Um, but so I'm curious, um. What does an education, educational reporter, because like, I'm sorry, I, I stalked you a little bit and Googled you to find out. little bit about you so I can properly introduce you.
Um, so, but I'm going to take a quick break right before we do that and remind our listeners to go ahead and click that like button, that subscribe button, and if you're on YouTube, that notify button. Just remember, click all the buttons. And now back to Silas. So, again, yeah, if you could just kind of explain for us and for our listeners what an educational reporter is, what you do, because it sounds exciting. Just every being a reporter sounds exciting.
Yeah. Uh, so I cover K 12 education, which means, um, for me, that means kind of every school district in Tarrant County, theoretically. I'm not going to say I regularly get to every district in Tarrant County, because there's a lot. Sure. Um, so we'll do that. I'm, I'm what they call an education enterprise reporter, which is kind of a new thing. And that means I don't cover a lot of like day to day. You know, rewriting a press release from an ISD kind of, um, coverage.
I'll, I do a lot of, kind of like, here's a larger trend, how does it affect schools, districts in our area? How does it affect kids in our area? Um, right now, that's a lot of, like, we're looking at kind of like how the end of federal COVID emergency funding is affecting school districts around here. So it's a lot of that kind of thing. Broader trend stories.
Yeah, yeah, and then like that's a lot of information and I know we've talked about this a little bit through your recovery and how things can be exhausting all of that do you think that after you had the stroke like your styling and how you're writing and all the information that you're receiving change your change the way you write.
I I do remember feeling like when I started dictating my stories instead of You know It felt, I don't know that the, the, the voice of the story changed that much, but it did feel very strange because you write differently than you talk. It felt very strange, like, saying out loud the kinds of sentences that I write. I don't know that, like I said, I don't know that that actually changed my writing style that much, but
But you do feel different, right? Yeah.
But it changed how you had to do it. Mm hmm.
Yeah, I, I I'm currently going back to school too, so I definitely feel like when I read, um, my, you know, essays that I wrote years ago, I'm like, wow, I was so smart, but like now it's very difficult to get, like, gather all the right, like, words together. I feel like my vocabulary is a lot different than what I was before when I'm, when I know what I'm going to talk about, my words come out. fluently, but when I'm writing I get stuck.
So I feel like it's very cool that you're able to, you know, like just go back into your writing and what you like to do and try to gather all this information and like put it out. Like I think that's pretty cool.
Yeah, I mean, one thing that helps me kind of as a reporter is that if you get stuck writing is because you didn't do enough reporting and you need to go back and do more of that, which is, I mean, that's not great if your stories due today, but. Like if I get, there's not really such a thing as writer's block for reporters because we have, you know, all this body of reporting that we theoretically have done.
Yeah. Right, so you just know I need to go do a little more homework.
Yeah, exactly. Basically, yeah.
Okay. Well, and we've kind of asked this question, but I'm going to ask it a little bit differently because one of our members asked it, so I'm going to read it.
So, through your recovery, getting ready to drive again, getting ready to go back to work, Was there one moment that sticks out in your mind that you're like, I know I'm going to be okay and this is all going to work out and I know I'm good and I mean, we know recovery is lifelong, but you have that one aha moment that you went, yeah, I can go back to work. Yeah. I can drive. Yeah. Life is good. There were, or as good as,
yeah, there were, I mean, there were a few along the way. I can tell you there was one like very early on. When I was in, when I was still in the hospital, that, I, I, I was at UT Southwestern and transferred to Zale Lipshy, which is the, the rehab a lot of people probably know that. Um, About four in the morning, I was lying in my hospital bed, totally immobile on my left side, and Just thought to myself, I wonder maybe if I could lift my left leg. Let me give that a try. And I did.
And that was the first time I'd been able to move anything on that side. And it was just like, through a huge amount of effort, I could lift it that much. And, like I said, it was four in the morning. My wife was asleep on like the, in the recliner next to my bed. And I yelled and woke her up and said, Hey, look what I can do. And it was just like, If that was a turning point in my recovery, because at that point it was like, Okay, this is gonna get better.
That what all these people, all these therapists have been telling me is true, is actually true. Here it's working. Right. This is not much yet, but it's the beginning. First of things to come, you know?
I'm great. That also reminds me of the Kill Bill, the first episode when she's Sorry, man. Wiggle my toe. Wiggle my toe.
It's a lot like that. Yeah. There was another moment where, um, like I said, I'm also a tenor in the Dallas Symphony Chorus, and I had been knocked out of like most of that season. The first thing I was able to come back on, the first piece of music I was able to come back and perform with them was Beethoven's ninth Symphony, which if you know, that is the, the Ode to Joy. Mm-Hmm. The fourth movement is the Ode to Joy and what a thing to come back on.
I af when I was coming back, when I was come getting ready to come back, I realized that I had been knocked out. of performing on a requiem, which is a funeral mass. So it's music for the dead. And then I came back on the Ode to Joy.
Oh wow.
Yeah.
So that, I'm gonna ask, sorry Kezia, um, so how did they work? And I'm gonna get it wrong, the orchestra, I mean the choir. Yeah. They worked with you, they were good, you know, like you just talked about your work. I kind of forgot about that part, but yeah.
Yeah, they were, they were also great. They, um, I mean they put me on a leave of absence basically, and that's, you know, not a paid job. Right. It's a volunteer thing, so it wasn't. You know, like I was missing income from that.
Sure.
Um, they put me on a, on a leave of absence and said, just let us know when you're ready to come back. And when I, the first rehearsal for Beethoven 9, I came back and I was, I, The way it usually works when we start rehearsing a new piece of music is everybody goes into the choral library and picks up the music. And I got there and looked in my box, and it wasn't there. And I stopped the um, choral librarian, the lady named Melanie, and said, hey, my music's not in here.
And she went, oh my god. She said, I didn't know you were coming back for this one. Like, that memo had not gotten to her. And, uh, She stopped everybody who, everybody else who was in the, in the library picking up their music and said, this is Silas. He had a stroke and he's back. And when we all went up to rehearsal, she stood up. I think she was the choral president still at the time.
She stood up and said, everybody, there's a guy, there's a tenor over here who during performance week for Mozart Requiem had a massive stroke and he is here and he is singing. And there was a round of applause and I got very bashful for a minute and then that was it. Yeah.
I love your stories. They're very positive and I, that just makes me feel like, yeah, like it's hard to believe when something terrible and dramatically happens and then you just, it's like a little hiccup. On the road. Like that's it. That's it because your story sounds great. Um, I wanted to see if you had like any advice that you would like to give our listeners I mean your stories are really positive and we really enjoy them.
So thank you so much for sharing them But uh, yeah, do you have your last little advice to give to our listeners? I
think the best advice I can think of is two and one of the first part is never never never give up and the second is understand that your life's never going to be like it was, but just, you know, that doesn't mean it's going to be worse than it was. It doesn't mean it's going to be less happy than it was. At the beginning, what I kept saying was, I wanted to make it like this had never happened. And as, you know, recovery went along, I realized how unrealistic that was.
Like, that was never, even if I get every single thing back that I ever had. I know now what I know. I know what a devastating thing this was. So your life's never going to be the same again, but find ways to be happy within your new reality.
Yeah, I love it.
I do too. Yeah. Perfect.
Thank you so much, Silas, for coming to the podcast and for being here. Uh, we definitely appreciate your story and your ability to share it and to make it very, um, public for everyone in our listeners. I hope they enjoyed it as much as I did.
Well, thanks for having me.
Me too. Thank you. It was awesome. So again, if you'd like to contact us, you can email us at bindwaves@thebind.org um, or you can visit our website. thebind.org/bindwaves. We also have Instagram, guess what, @bindwaves. You can find us everywhere. Um, if you're looking, if you're interested in becoming a member of BIND or a volunteer of BIND, again, you'll go to theBIND. org and there are forms there for you to fill out.
And don't forget to like and share and, uh, subscribe, especially on YouTube so you can continue seeing us every Thursday.
Yep, and again, every Thursday you will find all of our new episodes on all your favorite platforms. Can't miss us, we're all there. And again, like Kezia always says, YouTube's the best if you want to see all our pretty faces and get to visit our guests and get to know them a little better too. So again, every Thursday, all the platforms. Until next time.
Until next time.
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