Re-Release: Independence is Key

Hi, I'm Kezia. I'm a stroke survivor and a member of BIND. And as we continue to do Brain Injury Awareness Month for the whole month of March, we continue to re release episodes that are the most watched and listened to on your social media platforms. On this episode, you're going to be listening to Livia for Independence is Key. You're going to be listening to her story where she faces difficulties, and you're going to be listening to her journey for, uh, triumphs.

Hi, I'm Carrie, Stroke Survivor and BIND member.

And I'm Kezia, Brain Injury Survivor and a member of BIND as well. And today, we have our guest, named Livia, who is very confident, a rock climber, and an award winner member of BIND as a Wonder Woman. She will be sharing her process towards becoming very independent. Thank you. Welcome, Livia.

Welcome to BIND Waves, the official podcast of the Brain Injury Network of Dallas. I'm Brian White, BIND's Executive Director. On each episode, we'll be providing insight into the brain injury community. We'll be talking to members and professionals regarding their stories and the important role of BIND's Clubhouse. We work as a team to inspire hope, community, and a sense of purpose to survivors, caregivers, and the public. Brian White, BIND. Thank you for tuning in to BINDWAVES.

Okay, we're so happy to have you here, Olivia. So I think like the first thing that a lot of us would want to know is kind of like, tell us a little bit about yourself and your experience and how you've become so independent now. Okay.

Um, I had a brain injury in 2017. And I've been on my I've been on my way to recovery for five years now, and I live, I've been living independently for about a year now.

That's really good. So I know you were with your parents before, um, so what, what were the steps that you had to take to be, to be able to move out and live independently, like?

Yeah, I mean, I'd actually been looking to live by myself for a while. I even asked Kezia if she wanted to be my roommate and I felt hopeless until I stumbled upon this place and it helps me. Be more independent like I'd have to do my own laundry and make my own meals.

So, what is that place called or how did you find them?

Well, it's called Becca's House and they had an open house during COVID and my mom dropped by. And told the lady in charge about me, and she told me, I was like, well those people sound whack. And then I went over, and I met the other girls, and I actually liked them a lot.

That's great, so is it like a group house, where you all each have your own room?

Um, yeah, I mean kind of, it's not. Like run by the state. But yeah, there's two other disabled girls and then like a house bomb.

Interesting. Okay. And one of the things that I think um, was a lot of questions about is People were wondering is like how exactly like without having a caregiver like your parents How do you manage your schedule like and especially like a lot of people that are in medications? And like how to take care of yourself and like the best way. How do you deal with that?

Yeah, I mean, I've always been pretty independent about taking care of myself And I only take one medication. Lucky you. I know. And sometimes I do forget to take it. But it's usually not that big of a problem. Like, I can trust myself and brush my teeth and feed myself. So it's not too bad.

Yeah, I know you mentioned you're responsible for your own laundry and I'm sure keeping your room clean and that kind of stuff. What other What other, well, I mean, we all try. I think we all try the best that we can. Yeah, I mean, I may still live at home, but my mom doesn't clean my room. Nope. Um, but were there, like, any challenges that were unexpected that came up when you went from, I mean, it's probably not that much different.

Just I mean, the biggest challenge was emotionally, and like living with other people, cause I've never done that before, and then I had a brain injury, and like sometimes you just, like I'm gonna explode and I'm like, oh no, I can't do that. Yeah.

Well, that's good that you're aware and you know and can keep that in, because I believe me, I understand. Yeah. I wanna explode sometimes too.

Yeah, and I think so too, like, how did you, um, like, you just said that you had never lived on your own before, even before having a, um, you know, the brain injury. How was it like, connecting with other people? Like your roommates, I know you like them, but how was it at first?

Yeah, I mean, no, actually, we got along really well. Well, if I'm being honest, one of my roommates is mentally handicapped and I've never been around someone like that. And, of course, I love her, but sometimes Frustrating living with her

Yeah, I think that's something that always happens like even before like before I had the stroke It's difficult finding a roommate that matches like you perfectly. Yeah, right Right. So I think that's really interesting One of the questions that a lot of people ask to like part of our subscribers It's like what? They were like, really wondering about like, shopping. Like, um, how do you get your, the things that you need, uh, without like, having a caregiver?

Um, my house mom or like, the lady in charge, she does the grocery shopping every Sunday. And then like, close her. Personal hygiene. I can buy online and have it shipped to the house. That's good. Yeah.

Yeah. I think after COVID, that's something that we all would do. Like, yeah, we're not going shopping anymore. We can online shop. Yeah, that's pretty cool. Do you use like a specific app that you would recommend that's pretty good to use? Yeah.

Okay, well I'm not promoting, well, yes I am. I use this app called T pop, can I say that? Yeah, you can say it. Okay, yes. And it's like a thrifting app where people sell their used clothes. And that's like my whole wardrobe, to be honest. Oh, that's very cool. Yeah.

Oh, that's cool. I hadn't heard about that one. I had heard about other ones. Like Poshmark.

Yeah. Yeah. I had that too.

Okay. Well, that's a good, uh, That is. Yes. Especially if you're a thrifter.

I didn't know about those. Yeah.

I might have to check that out. Now, I have a question going back to when you were talking about the house mom and that she does the grocery shopping every week. So, I guess, do y'all put in like your orders of what you want? Are y'all responsible for making all your own meals? Or does the house, do y'all have like a menu that y'all know y'all are going to all eat together and what you're going to eat? Or is it more she just buys the groceries and y'all cook what you want to cook? How does that

work? I mean, usually I'm the one. That writes the grocery list, and I ask everyone what they want, because I mainly eat plant based, and they don't, so like, we often have to make separate meals. But then she'll put them away and label them in the fridge. That's nice. That's helpful.

Yeah, that's really good. Um, I had like a random question too. Um, from moving from your parents to like now living on your own, how do you think your parents are feeling?

I think they're I think in the beginning they wanted to hang out a lot. And I was like You need to get a life. But then now, I think they enjoy the space. And I definitely do.

Yeah, being empty nesters for real.

Yeah. And I think the transformation of like living with your parents to now like you have roommates and all that, did you end up having some kind of like um, some people had questions about like, Feeling lonely or like away from, from home or having any issues like socially?

Um Yeah, I mean my parents live ten minutes away, so I Can't really say that I get homesick. Yeah, but I also go to college so I interact with people there.

Oh, cool. I mean, even when I met you, I just had met you in the very beginning of both of our, um, recovery. Yeah. Like, we both met each other a while back, I think now four years ago? Yeah. Five years ago? So, yeah, I definitely, I definitely see, like, even back then, you were pretty social, so that's pretty awesome that you do that. Um, and then going to college. Taking really good classes. I think you were taking, what class were you taking this year?

I just passed philosophy and next semester, I'm taking government.

Government? Nice, that's pretty cool. That's really cool.

Okay, well we'd like to take a moment just to remind our subscribers to go ahead and click that like button, click the notify on YouTube, and continue watching and listening, and let us know if you have any questions. And back to Olivia. So, I kind of have a question. I know we had a little bit of an issue this morning, and I know this isn't unique to your situation living independently. It's an issue I have, too. You know, I live with my parents, but travel, like, transportation.

Well, I usually use hard paratransit, but sometimes they're not that reliable. So I've been working on driving on my own again. Oh, that's great. Yeah, I'm thinking I'm gonna get my license in the next year.

Oh, that's pretty cool. You did tell me that earlier. Oh, so What are you working on towards driving? Like, do you have to take classes, or

Um, no, I mean, I remember everything. It's just practice and the other weekend I drove in my neighborhood and I was so worried about hitting other cars.

Yeah, it is scary. I know I remember when I decided to go back to driving I didn't want, I was like, I remembered driving, you know, being taught how to drive. I was hired by my dad when I was 15, 16, and didn't do that very long. I found a guy friend to help me learn how to drive a stick shift because I was like, nope, I'm dead.

Uh, yeah, that's me. Thank you for calling me out in public. Yeah, I need to get to that. Like, so proud of you for doing that. Cause I, like, my hand is sweating just hearing it. It really is. So, so yeah, I think that's awesome. Like, are you driving with your dad? Or, like, do you have someone, like, carried, carried in?

Yeah, no, I'm driving with my dad. Thankfully he is calm enough. I think if I drove with mama, she would have a heart attack.

Yeah, I tried driving with my mom. I don't know what it is about mommies, like they, my mom went crazy.

They always freak out so much.

Yeah. So I get that but thank you for bringing that up. Sorry, sorry, not sorry. It's okay, it's okay. Um, uh, what is something that like you really think that like through the trans, like the transition and like through journey of recovery like you have been like feeling like a lot more confident in yourself and independent and not having to like depending a lot on your, on your parents or your caregivers or anyone around you? Yeah.

I'm a well in the beginning. I couldn't even feed myself or shower myself, so my parents had to help me and that was, I guess, humiliating because, you know, you want to be able to do that yourself and you're a grown woman. So when I could finally do everything on my own, I got out of the house as fast as I could.

Yeah, and I think that's awesome. I really do.

So I have a question. How has BIND kind of helped you? And that journey towards getting independent. I know there's a lot that goes on at BIND. That's our whole goal is we want everyone to feel comfortable enough that they can get back out there on their own. In whatever capacity it is.

Oh yeah, definitely. I remember when I was in the hospital. And some lady came and talked to me about BIND. And I was like, BIND, what is that? And I'm like After the hospital discharged me, I was like, oh well, what do I do now? Then I came to BIND, and it was my socialization and a way to get back, you know, into work and community. And I feel like it gave me a lot of life skills.

Yeah, yeah, for sure. I definitely feel like in the last years that we've known each other, there's been so much progress. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, I think it's been awesome to see you go through so much, and then also you feel quite connected, like, through all the, like, everything that both you and I carry, like, you've been here for a long, long time.

Um, I think maybe the most important thing isn't physically but emotionally. It's so important. To be patient and even if they yell at you, they don't mean it. They just have scrambled eggs.

Okay. Yeah. That's true. I know it's a big difference, but we are so proud of you, Livia, that you've taken that step to move on out and Get on your own with some new friends and going back to school. You've got so much going on. I can't wait to see you with that driver's license and driving up here on your own. That'll be exciting. But we thank you so much for joining us on this podcast and we want to thank everyone for listening.

And always do not forget to like, share, and subscribe to BINDWAVES. And also if you can find us on your favorite channel, uh, including YouTube, you can subscribe to us, like us, and continue to comment on our, on our episodes. So stay tuned for the next time.

Yep. Thanks again, Livia, and until next time.

Until next time.

We hope you've enjoyed listening to BINDWAVES and continue to support BIND and our nonprofit mission.

We support brain injury survivors as they reconnect into the life, the community, and their workplace.

And we couldn't do that without great listeners like you. We appreciate each and every one of you. Continue watching. Until next time.

Until next time.