ep 335 - r/uglycocks and a double bondi burger - podcast episode cover

ep 335 - r/uglycocks and a double bondi burger

May 28, 20251 hr 14 min
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Summary

Demi and Tom kick off with a spirited discussion about fast food, particularly Oporto's chicken and the contentious texture of their chips, which leads to a comedic argument. They share quirky personal stories, including a detailed critique of the Hamilton musical and the horrors of an overpriced organic supermarket. The episode culminates in a deep dive into the r/uglycocks subreddit, where they humorously analyze user posts, exotic genital comparisons, and a truly perplexing 'pretzel twist' penis, all while enjoying their Oporto delivery.

Episode description

Check out the patreon for more eps and no ads!

The profane and the divine live alongside each other, they feed from one another. Can something be truly ugly without beauty alongside it? Anyway there's some interesting dicks in this one and we talk about a yummy burger.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript

Intro / Opening

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Opening Banter: Mouth Stinks

There's a stink. There's a stink in my ass. There's a stink. And I'm feeling high class about my stink. It's a stink for your... mouth? I'll tell you what that was. I'd love to hear it. I was trying to think of whether there's a word, like, you know, in German when they're like, a friend you're mean to. Oh, okay.

So you weren't thinking, is there a word in German for a person who wants a stink in their mouth? No, I was thinking about, you know when sometimes when you have like a blocked nose, but you can tell something smells a certain way through the way it goes into your mouth. But it's not taste. It's a mouth smell. Do you know what I mean? Yes, but I do resent you for making me say that.

But yes, I have been in situations where I've been both sick and stink. Yeah. Yeah. Stinky. So that was you trying to work out if that had a word for it. I was like, I'm sure there's a word. For, like, I guess it's just, like, snake smelling, you know? Yeah.

Smelling something through your mouth suddenly. It's olfactory enough that it bypasses the regular thing. And it's not a taste. Your mouth bursts in and is like, no, for real, guys. I know we're ignoring the nose right now, but you've got to see this.

Doughboys and Fast Food Talk

I don't know how to see this. Sorry, I was masking a yawn. The mouth is one of the most spectacular parts of the face. I'm going to try and do a Doughboys thing. In minus one BC. One year before the birth of Christ. One year before the common era, a guy wanted something. A guy had a dream. So you've heard it. About making Jesus and Jesus making mouths. No, no, they're the same guy. Fuck!

You had, you've listened to enough Doughboys that you have identified that they often start off with an intro that, you know, dips into history. And then your first history you could think of is one year before.

Oporto Love and Chip Debate

Before zero BC. All right. What do you think is your – what do you think you – the type of fast food – you know so much about that you would go into an episode of Doughboys fucking blazing. What would I? Oh man. So you know enough about it and you have a strong opinion about it. Okay. For one thing, I'm worried that we're becoming too, uh, we're almost bringing ourselves down to our hated listeners level by revealing that we're big time podcast freaks. But I will say, I think that's chill.

I think that my... I've listened to like a couple of it. Oh, I'm a big time fucking freak. Yep. Okay. So I think for me, the place I have fast food opinions, I think are... Salad places where you make your own salad and they're predicated around mainly like sushi, like raw fish being added to it. Like fish bowl, predominantly. Or...

And this is something I feel quite strongly about indeed. El Janna and other adjacent like Middle Eastern chicken rat places. But, saving the best for last, I think the place that I could truly... Hold court on. Holy shit. I'm watching you draft divorce papers behind your eyes. The place I can truly hold court on. And I think you join me here as being the, this is where we've sunk our 10,000 hours.

Demi, the Australian Portuguese chicken chain Oporto. Oporto! Just got to go. Oporto! I fucking love that goddamn place. God, you're a good voice actor. Thank you. No worries. Oporto. I'm actually not even going to hear arguments about this. Like, even if you're subscribed to the Patreon, I don't give a fuck about your feelings about this, so don't even try and engage me on it. Oporto has the best chips.

In Australia. And I'm not hearing and I'm not going to have someone say, yeah, but why don't you try this place that you haven't tried before? I don't care. A porto has the best chips in Australia. They're amazing. When I've ordered a porto. I am so happy to have the Apollo chip, which is, for context, a slightly saggy. It's almost, it's not, it's not bringing a crunch to every single bite.

It's bringing a gentle potato experience. It's a salt vehicle. Okay. Like it's not a... Go ahead. You're veering into maybe getting on my nerves with the way that you're speaking about the chips. Well, why don't you put up... the fucking safety bumpers on the conversation so I know how to not press your pressure points by trying to describe a chip. No, you're right. I'm just saying, like, don't say saggy. I mean, it is.

It's not saggy. It's a softer chip. It's not saggy. They're not going to be able to hold their shape if you hold a Neporto chip up by like the last quarter of its length. Yes, you will. I'm ordering it now, and now this is what the episode's fucking about. Yeah, fine. Go fuck yourself. No, you go fuck myself. Okay. Well, I guess I'll be making love to Madam. Oh, and I suppose I'll be having a big...

Not if I have my way. Is this a normal episode? Yeah. Oh, no. Yep. But I believe that Oporto chips are... Saggy. They are saggy, dude. No, they're not saggy. No. Do you agree when I say that the Oporto chip brings a gentler potato experience? Yes, but that doesn't mean that it's saggy. It's not a saggy chip. KFC has saggy chips. I was just fucking up so bad. I was trying to... Okay, two things. For one...

Oporto Order Mishaps and Chips

I'm a big enough fat guy that one of the suggested orders on the delivery app I'm using was Antacid for two. Antacid for two? Are we on a cruise? I'm being spoiled. For two. It's embarrassing enough. I was, I'd accidentally opened this wrong and I was trying to type in a porto and it wasn't coming up, you know, as like a place that I could order from. And I was like, huh? And then I realized I was trying to...

I was putting it in as a delivery address. So I was trying to get, I was like, hey, you know what? Let's just give these guys a little bit of walking around chicken. Yeah. You're trying to do it for everybody else. You're trying to do. Like Uber Eats, but using it as Uber, being like, deliver me to a porto. Oh. Please. Finally. The in-restaurant experience for me, thank you. And then you eat your meal.

You put yourself into the box the meal came in. In I go. And then you do Uber Eats to our house and say, one serving of Tom, please. Just one. If there's enough there for one whole serving, if you guys don't think he's widow, if you guys don't think he's widow and small. If you guys don't think he's too small. Tom Walker, you are one quarter portion. And I can't stress this enough.

Please don't fuck the Tom in the box. That'd be horrible. Okay, I'm ordering a double Bondi burger. Okay. With large chips. So you wanted a Bondi burger, I guess. You said you wanted one. No. No. You requested it. I'm not. I'm full. Okay. Well. So you're going to eat a Bondi burger then? I think someone wanted one. And a Pepsi Max? Is that like what's?

What's good to get drink-wise? I guess a Pepsi. If they don't have Coke Zero, I guess get a Pepsi Max. But I'm going to go get a Slumpo after this anyway. We have to change our whole life. Why? Hearing it said out loud that I'm getting this burger and chips delivered because...

I don't know why. I guess because I just need something to talk about. They're not saggy. They are a gentle potato experience. Don't say I just need something to talk about. We got into this organically. We're not bringing it up for any other. reason like we don't have anything to talk about I feel strongly about it it's not a saggy chip experience you're out of your mind I'm not out of my mind

I fucking mind. Demi, and I genuinely, I wouldn't say this unless I meant it, you're embarrassing yourself. And I'm helping you. It's not a saggy chip. Oh, honey. Don't you. Stop. Oh, honey. No, stop it. No. Oh, babe. Oh, no. Stop making that face. I'm going to throw something really hardly at you. Yeah, you're going to. Reach around for something. It'll be something soft so it's annoying but it doesn't hurt you. Maybe an aporto chip would be there.

You can say gentle potato experience as many times as you want. And I will because I'm quite taken with it, obviously. Yeah, obviously. You love the sound of your own voice when you're saying those specific words. Otherwise, it's tremendous.

Pop Culture and Personal Stories

Not any other time. I hate it so much. I'm doing the start of Stan. I'm saying, can we turn me down in my headphones? Actually, wait, no, that's not the song he does that on. It's cleaning up my closet. Eminem says, I got no snare in my headphones. Fuck, is it 8 Mile? It's not 8 Mile. Fuck. What's the name of that song? You better lose yourself. Lose yourself. Is it cleaning out my closet?

Where he says, I've got no, what song? Grok, help me out. Grok, Grok and Mr. Chat. What the fuck is Grok? Grok is the Twitter AI. Oh, kill yourself. Grog is the Twitter AI that they keep fucking around with. Yeah, something is beeping. I think you'll have to slow click them maybe. No. Yes. It's cleaning out my closet. Okay, good. Well, I'm thrilled to hear that. He goes, where's my snare? I have no snare on my headphones. There you go. Yo.

Yo. Listening to that as a kid. Have you ever been hated or discriminated against? I have. I've been protested and demonstrated against. Are you ready to have your feelings very hurt? Yeah, what? You're bringing that Hamilton flow. That sounded like it was about balancing a budget through your fucking lips. I just had to run my... I just had to run my face ID for the order twice because I was smiling too hard. Call me a tightrope walking budgie the way I balance this budget. Is that part of it?

Did it sound like it was? It really did. Really, no, it wasn't. Okay. I guess the budgie wouldn't balance the budget. No, but he's a tightrope walking budgie, so he's balancing. And it's a budget. Maybe he's a small... I just came up with it just now. Like, that's not bad. It's not bad. Nobody said it was bad. You're embarrassing yourself again. Fuck. Yeah, pretty bad.

I think Oporto is the place that I would gladly talk about the most. Because I feel it's the place that I have the most passion for. And also, I feel like... I don't know. I don't feel like, apart from Nando's in the UK, I don't feel like Portuguese chicken is taking the rest of the world by storm. Well, there's a place in Newtown that closed down, that did Portuguese chicken burgers.

are like not better than a Porto because I will stand by a Porto forever till I die. But they had really, really good chicken burgers and they were very spicy. Don't. Whatever you're going to say, I'm just like sick of you already. I'm just like sick. I'm not going to talk to you for the rest of the night after this episode because I can't deal with you. Do you know what I mean? I think they call her two-story Demi. One, there was a place that sold chicken burgers and it's closed now. And two...

Hamilton's Duel: History and Critique

A year before the birth of Christ. Man thought of mouth. Anyways Call me Mel B the way my burgers are spicy Oh God I don't think he knew about Mel B Alexander Hamilton. I think he was busy with other stuff. Was he? From my understanding of the play. Do you know even one thing that he did? Got shot, bitch. Fuck him. He died. Should have dodged, motherfucker. Activate which time, loser? Idiot. You should have done a backward ban. Yeah, parry that shit. You should have done a backward ban.

And your gun was stupid also. That was like the kind of time where he should have been like walking around with a buckler to deflect any shot from a duel that came his way. Should have had a Bible. Got him lacking. Yep. Yeah, I'm carrying around a Bible in the hope that a... Big bullet hits it. Yeah, I hate this Bible. So I'm pissing people off till they shoot me. I need to get rid of this fucking Bible. I hate my Bible.

That would have been the time where the bullets were just like ball bearings too, right? Yeah, because don't... Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. They... They invented, please, they invented like rifling on barrels, I think, after that. Rifling on barrels. Which is when they, I think that was a... That was just an anonymous thing. No, rifling is the thing where it's like, you know how James Bond you're looking through? James Bond, you know how James Bond you're looking through?

I know about looking through a James Bond, yeah. Right. The thing you're looking through when James Bond walks up and goes bang and he kills you before you even get the chance to watch the freaking movie, by the way, and then everything turns red and you sway down. The reason that that thing has like squirrel, like squirrely lines on it. It has a squirrel in there. Spirally lines on it. Because he'll rub your shoulders while you're aiming. Anyway, that's rifling.

It has, like, the spiraling lines in the thing, so it makes the bullets spin as it travels through, which makes it more accurate. Kind of cool. Don't you silently nod at me. Yeah. Don't you fucking. That's kind of cool, I guess. It is. Okay. I didn't ask about it, though. I said. Was that when they used ball bearings? And you said, Milady!

Let me explain the term. Sir cracked open the I watched an eight minute YouTube video several years ago. And I believe I'll be picking that up from here, Ed, and depositing over here. Conversation with the Clang. Yeah. Great. No, it wasn't great. And there was a squirrel for some reason. What did he get shot by? You know what? I'm going to look that up. Gun. Oh, my. And Aaron Burr. Oh, right.

Did Aaron Burr have like, what, a glock or something? Aaron Burr gun. His name was Aaron Burr. Oh, really? He brapped him. Yeah. Hey, here's one for you. Why does the National Postal Museum have a... Oh, okay, that's the Smithsonian. I thought that was a different thing. I thought that was just a place that was the Museum of Post Offices, and then also they had the original pistols from the... from when...

Aaron Burr shot Alexander Hamilton. The man of two stories. There's a swirl on a bullet, my dear, I know you didn't ask. And I can think of two place, hold on, one place. Demi? Yeah? I've got to be honest with you. Before you were embarrassing yourself. And now you're doing yourself really proud. That was awesome. Cool. They were manufactured in England by the celebrated gunsmith Robert... Robert Wogden.

And owned by Hamilton's brother-in-law, John Barker Church, who had himself dueled with Aaron Burr in 1799 over a different matter. Huh. I think you guys just didn't like him. Aaron Burr seems like he was a real shithead. He seems like he was a little bitch. He was just trying to shoot at everybody. All right, well, fucking I'll duel you. And I was like, oh, fucking, you already dueled my, scrolling up, brother-in-law.

So he was related to the Schuyler sisters. Don't... Don't you know that stuff? Anyway, the vice president killed the former secretary of the treasury. That's funny. There's a really great bit. This is why I thought Hamilton was like... You genuinely thought it was like a bit. I thought it was a silly bit. Yeah, I think that's reasonable to do.

One of the parts of it that made me think that quite strongly was this saying, like, me, I died for him. Me, I loved him. And me, I'm the damn dude that shot him. It's Erica. And I remember saying that and being like, why would you speak like that, you fucking weirdo? What's going on? Changing the trajectory of like our century in art forever by walking up to Lin-Manuel Miranda after he like stages it for the first time and going like, man, that was incredible.

And be like, oh, thank you. Yeah, that was so funny how you like talked like that. Like the character thought he was really cool. Huh?

Chicken Burger Terminology & Quirks

Hey, man, that was really gay. Demi, we were talking about a porter. Yes. Chicken burger chain. And if I remember correctly, your last Sally into the fray was there was a chicken burger place and it's closed. I want to... I want to... circle back and let you finish that thought. Because I know there was more, you know. Or would you like to word it in a different way? I'm going to give you the opportunity. That's all I'm saying.

You have the opportunity to say something else right now. Me say something else. If you need to. Okay. Go ahead. My last. Okay. The last thing you brought up was about a porto. And maybe we could return to the subject of a porto and talk about it some more now. Great. Great. Well, the thing about it is it's... Yes, dear. Well, it's such a singular concept, the spicy Portuguese chicken burger.

You know what? Well, people are going to be coming for your fucking neck by saying chicken burger. It is a chicken burger, though. Over here, we believe... And we believe that the chicken sandwich is served on flatbread in a sandwich style. That is a sandwich. And the chicken burger is a... something made within the confines of a burger bun. It's a shapular concept. We do not honour the meat concept, hamburger. And so...

When I was like listening to Doughboys and they kept talking about the Popeye's chicken sandwich. And when I Googled that, all I could see was a chicken burger. I was like. That's not right. There must be another secret item. Well, then I need to find the secret menu. Yes. But no, it's chicken burgers in Australia. It's a shape style thing because it is pieces of chicken at a porto. It's still a chicken burger. It's not a chicken sandwich.

It's not the ground hamburger chicken that would lead a... And obviously, because that's a crazy idea. Did you order the chips? Yes. Good. Looks like the order's wrapping up, my dear. Wonderful. Oh, we're ready for a treetular intermission. I really... I really, really love when something incredibly stupid that I do in my everyday speech infects...

both you and our closest friends. Yes, you've really got me. Because I really think that the blankula is going to make you seem so fucking stupid in a really... non-stupid guy being there situation. You know what I mean? I think eventually you're going to say. Happy to field that one. Oh. No. No. Because guess what? One day your dad. is going to introduce you to, like, some of his colleagues. Uh-huh. And you're going to be like, mm, yes. And you'll be paying for this meal in a financial.

type of situationally way. I see. Sir? Yeah, I think... One question. You're using all of my words. No, I never. You would say question. For one thing, I'm not speaking because they're eating the sushi off my body and when I speak, it makes my belly move. Aren't you painted under that as well, though? You do too many sexy lady things. You're painting.

and then the paint gets all over the sushi because you also put the sushi on. I was trying to be two types of sexy ladies. I got my stuff mixed up. Yeah, whoops. Whoops. And it's lead paint. Oh, boy. Damn it. Oh, Don. Shit. This is the worst my birthday ever. But thank you, fellas, for making my dream come true. If you want to lick the sushi off, you can. Getting sushi. Doing it like a cat. Debbie's making a bowl out of her tongue and lifting it off entirely. Holy shit. That was...

I think the first day that I was like, hmm, I'm in love with Tom was when you poured milk into my tongue and it was a bowl. That was, yeah, that was a breakfast over in the Andalite Fringe, right? That was a nice thing to do. Yes. And look where it got us now. Yeah. As I understand it, we're very much in love. Yes, as far as you know. Quite pleasant, isn't it? As long as nothing's.

Oporto and Supermarket Oddities

Lurking beneath the surface. As long as there's no horrid surprise right around the corner, this all seems to be going to plan. But anyway, the Oporto mission is to provide people of all ages with delicious food. And I'd say they're... Doing a bang-up job. A 120-year-old could have a nice time at a porto. I do believe that. A one-year-old maybe.

could if it was like one of our friends who have a gigantic Muslim family where the mothers of them are like, feed the baby spices now. The baby could like suck on a chip. Yeah. You know? Yeah. I'm sure that would. be in keeping with the baby's enjoyments. The baby would enjoy that. Shut it. Why are you doing that? I don't know. I'm not sure what you're doing.

But, of course, it's such a singular place. I mean, I remember there was a place in Newtown that tried to do a similar thing, but then... It shut. And that's kind of the end of the thought, of course. Well, the thing that I really, really loved about that place. I can't remember the place. Would you say the name? I will tell you exactly where it was. Yes. The very overpriced.

organic supermarket. Yes. Most familiar with it indeed. Yes. Why am I speaking like that? I don't know. But next to that intersection, right? Across from that, it was a burger place. It was a Portuguese burger place. Right outside of it was a set of benches where a man who looked...

spectacularly like his French bulldog would sit every day. Yes. Yes. I loved that guy. Yeah, he was awesome and he had a little hat. But the place that he would sit outside of was a Portuguese chicken burger place. Yes. And it was really good because it was really spicy. This is what people say when they say construct a mind palace, a memory palace, so you can walk through and remember all the separate little things. It's like being able to place this...

one Portuguese chicken shop in reference to the man and the dog and the, I mean, truly one of the world's most expensive supermarkets that also sells stuff that sucks. And most, and like... It's just so much terrible, terrible chocolate. They're, oh my God, the worst shit you've ever seen. You ever wanted to pay $15 for carob? Good news. Making that sound until you leave. No. You mean carrot? Because they also cost $15 from that place. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, no. Well, I would only ever go to that place if I needed, like, fenugreek because a lot of, like, when we used to live near there, I was like, well, unless I order bulk fenugreek. I have to go to the fucking Miracle Supermarket. It wasn't Miracle Supermarket. That's a different supermarket. Miracle Supermarket rocks, but everything you buy from there is going off or has already gone off several weeks ago.

Because, of course, the things we get from there are like the fried tofu puffs. Exactly. And the fried tofu puffs, they overfill the fridges and they don't check the fried tofu puffs. I once opened up a fridge there and I swear to God. God, it was warmer than outside. Yeah. It was crazy. I think because the bacteria had like... I was going to say, I once opened up a fridge in there and it looked like The Last of Us mold. And I was like, hmm.

Maybe we'll go without the tofu today. Picking up just a big bag of, I don't know, comic books. Ellie will like these. I guess they're in the fridge. Hey, don't talk to my fridge anymore. Hey, you got it. Okay. Okay, sorry. All right, don't worry. I think she's gone. Wasabi beef turtle chips.

Oh, those are good. They're so fucking good. But that fucking, the other place, or I feel like the experience of going into, like coming into a small amount of money, getting like a regular job and thinking to yourself, maybe I'm ready to. Just take a walk on nice street. Maybe I'm ready for the... I know, but what I'm saying is you get that opportunity to like...

You're making a bit more money and you're like, maybe I like this. Maybe it's time for me to spend a bit more money on food and reap the rewards. No. And it's a learning experience to... buy a more expensive grocery from a more expensive grocery store and be like, oh, this is actively worse. Yes. And I don't think it's better in literally any way. Well. Including for the environment and people. Harris Farms, though. That's the good one.

Lollies, Socials, and Delivery Prep

Yes. That's the good one. The place I'm talking about, I can't remember the name of it. I can't remember the name of it either. It's called Something Organic. Yeah. It's like... Sucks shit. They're selling stuff at like Jack and the Beanstalk prices. You were getting five beans for a cow. Sometimes they would give me a free lolly though. What? When? Did you...

Did you not get the free lolly? No? What kind? The little chocolate. It was a nice one too. What? Yeah, I got a nice little... Like a single little chocolate? A single chocolate, yeah. When? Like half the times I was in there. What were you getting? What do you mean? Just groceries. Is it like a minimum amount? Oh, honey. It just sucks. I'll get you one. Fake friends. No, I don't want one. No, but I love you more. Listen. I want several. Multiple years ago. Babe.

Spread out. I'm always getting you treats. I know, but I want other people like me. Oh, baby. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's just that I have the... Of the two of us, yeah, no. Of the two of us, here's the difference. Listen, the way that I interact with people, you interact with people in a fun way as well, but sometimes when it's like, hey, chug-a-dug-dug, mister.

They're like, what? Just to be clear, Demi's not drawing that from a specific moment. I haven't pointed at someone at checkout and said, hey, chug-a-dug-a-dug, mister. I did once while we were... on a road trip, drink something from a bottle and say, chug-a-dug-a-dug. No, I was drinking from a bottle and you pointed at me and said, chug-a-dug-a-dug. And then you went, why did I say that?

That's right. I think that was the one where I like spewed. Yeah. And then you had to start driving because I was moving from Melbourne to go live with you. And I spewed. And you had to drive. Don't lean into it. Don't. Don't fucking try to be more of you than you are already. You had to drive instead. Babe, you're you plenty. Don't you worry about that. Oh, boy.

The Aporto order is heading our way. Oh, my God. Now, Tom. I'm going to give a fucking... Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom. Tom, Tom, Tom. Listen, Tom. Yes. Let's put a break here. so that people can't calculate our location. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For the delivery. I'm going to go ahead and tip like fucking crazy right now because it's... Yeah, it's naughty. All right. And then we'll do the chip challenge. Oh, yum-shus.

We have to go right now. Yeah. All right. After this, we'll be back with some Porto, which again is a Portuguese chicken restaurant in Sydney. And maybe after that, if we have time, we'll have a Tom's deep dive. All right. Oh. Not allowed. Not fucking allowed. He's making me cough on myself.

Not allowed. All right, shall we? Just because it's not gargoyles. I love gargoyles. I know. Yeah. All right, well, see you later, everybody. Be back right after this break. Please enjoy the programmatically inserted ad. I think on the podcast I was listening to earlier, I think I got one of the fucking AI voiced inserted ads for a bank, but I can't tell if it was like actually, but it sounded like AI TTS. Yeah.

But some voice actors just fucking sound like that and it sucks. Yeah. I'm in my fucking head about it. Anyways, we'll see you. I can sound like I'm AI if I need to. Me too. Making no changes to my voice. That's how you sound. Hey, it's gotten a little bit better and I've stayed the same amount of bad. I think AI is pretty much on par with me. Yup.

It's probably a bit more convincing. At least AI knows how to smile when you tell it to. Sorry, we told you to smile on that take and it sounded like you were just baring your teeth a little bit. Huh? Huh? And that's not making people want to sign up with GAO insurance. All right. Bye, everybody. Bye. Hey, Ryan Reynolds here, wishing you a very happy half-off holiday, because right now Mint Mobile is offering you the gift of 50% off unlimited. To be clear, that's half...

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Paige DeSorbo, they are Tommy John. And yes, I'm stocking up because they make the best holiday gifts. So generous. Well, I'm a generous girly, especially when it comes to me. So I'm grabbing the softest sleepwear, comfiest underwear, and best fitting loungewear. So nothing for your bestie. Of course I'm getting my dad, Tom John. Oh, and you, of course.

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The Oporto Meal Arrives

Welcome back, everyone, to BigSoftTitty.png. Demi, why? The bag. The Oporto bag is here. The Oporto bag is here and... Brendan, don't fret. I ripped the receipt with our address on it off. I'm simply enthralled by the bag. I know you are because you walked over and you started touching it and I said, stop. Stop, Tom. I ported it like a cat. It was really embarrassing. Actually, when I realized what I'd done, I felt really bad. Your wife going, no. Hey.

I can see what you're doing here. Okay. Okay, I won't do it anymore. I'm going away then. Yeah. This sucks. All right, do you want to give the folks at home a rundown of what we ordered? Demi, in that bag I believe there is a... Double Bondi burger. Which, you know what? I've just realised that some people out there don't have the good luck to know what a double Bondi burger entails. And you got it Tom-style, not Demi-style, right?

I made no modifications to it because I was ordering in a rush. When I get a Bondi burger, I get a big fucking slice of pineapple on it. There is no pineapple added. Right. The Bondi burger is a two fresh grilled 100% chicken breast fillets. Demi just ate a chip and I noticed. Crisp lettuce, cheese, creamy mayo.

and a Porto's legendary original chili sauce. It's a really good sauce too. Yes. So yeah. How are we going to test this? Because the thing that I took umbrage with was that you said it was a saggy chip. Yes. And I'm willing now to say that I think... You are just hungry? I remember someone saying... someone using the phrase gentle potato experience. And I think that's perhaps more accurate. Honestly, perhaps it may well be the Bon Moe of the year.

Could this be the inaugural Big Soft Titty Bon Moe of the Year? Is it the Bon Moe of the Year? Oh, I guess we'll find out. It's too soon to say, too soon to say. Alright, so what are we going to do? How are we going to test this then? So I said... First of all, you're insane. Like, look at that. That's a strong chip. You're right. But another thing that... And let's be careful about the amount of eating on mic we do.

I think that they are not a crunchy chip. The saggy chip of legend! It's not saggy. It's not saggy. It's a gentle potato experience. The saggy chip. It's still good, but I think it's notable in- Like part of the Iporto experience is picking a chip up, it's sagging in your fingers and still looking forward to biting into it. It's not sagging, it's drooping. It's a droopy chip. Whereas if that were to happen...

with a McDonald's chip. Stop typing and express yourself to me, your wife, and stop looking up things on the computer when you're trying to express yourself because it makes you very stunted. Well, first off... I'm stunting on your ass because I just looked up SAG synonyms and one of them is Droop. Droop made the first round cutoff. Synonym doesn't mean it means the exact same thing. Otherwise, we wouldn't have another word. Okay?

Yes, we would. No, we wouldn't. What do you mean? No, here's what it is. I'll show you. Sag is this. Droop is this. Okay, now what if you drooped to the side instead of straight down? And what if you sagged vertically instead of... No, that's what I'm saying. Sagging is going straight down. Drooping is going... Like that.

I think that maybe you're dealing with, if you look at something in profile, you view it as drooping. You're talking a lot of shit for someone who's not holding the chips or the burger. I want to have them very much. I'll bet you do. How are those chips going over there, Demi? I love these. They're good, aren't they? These chips. They're amazing. Yeah. And they're not saggy. Some of them are. No, they're not. Some of them are. And some of them are.

Doesn't mean what you said it was. You said that the Aporto chips were a saggy chip. That's not true. I think that they are saggy enough that on balance, they are a saggy chip. Especially given how much other chains strive to avoid that. There's another thing in this bag. What else did you get, my dear? Did you think I wouldn't notice? No, I'd forgotten that...

I ordered the chicken burger. And then, because I was like, Demi probably didn't mean it when she said she was full. Or she might want something after. I got some chicken tenders. Aw. Thank you, honey. So they're in there as well. Do you want this bag? The bag of delicious chicken. Damn, okay, I can see my way to having some of these. I do want some of the chip. Holy, this week...

Swiftly becoming transparent plastic is holding up. Plastic? Cardboard. I meant paper. I'm sorry. That's all right. Just don't do it again. Yeah. It's not saggy. Beautiful. It's not a sag. It broke, but it wasn't saggy. I would say there's like three droopy chips. in a serving of a Porto's chips. Well, then we must have gotten like four to five servings of a Porto's chips. That's not droopy. It's broken. You can't break something saggy. That's... No, wrong. You're wrong. No, no, no.

Don't do that. Well, you were eating chips. I mean, how was I to know you weren't enjoying it? Fucking hell. We need to get you back to wearing the headphones during the record again. So, the Aporto chip, I think, is notable in the fast food landscape in that it's not scared to be soft, to be gentle. Other chains will avoid that like the plague. They'll view any kind of...

Admission of sensitivity or weakness as failure. Whereas the Aporto chip... Stop being... Stop looking over the roof. I'm going to fucking bring a broom in here to knock back at them. Demi. Do you think you have any leg to stand on when it comes to vertical noise complaints? To that I'd have to say, no, no, no, no, no, no. Stop it. Stop. Stop.

They've already complained. Well, we have the burger in the bag. The burger is in the bag. The fries are also in the bag. How do we engage with this? Maybe. I don't know. This is just a pitch. Maybe we can work around whatever, but just blue skying here. And since no other ideas have been floated, maybe I could have a bite of the hamburger. Maybe I could bite the burger. Okay. Just to kind of break the tension. The burger in the buns? Yes. I think that might be something everyone likes.

is if I have a bite of the burger. Or it's in paper. Well, I'll make quick work of that. You sure that's paper? Could be plastic. I mean... Oh, God, what am I? At the freaking expensive grocery store? No, they would never offer you plastic over there. No, they wouldn't. Just carry it in your hands. Okay. Oh, and have a chocolate, slut. Apparently. Slut.

Eating the Bondi Burger

I assume they were mean to you. Dude, hurry up. We have to get through like 20 more minutes. I mean, slow down. Okay. Hamburger. It's not a hamburger, Tom. It's a chicken burger. You're going to make them even angrier than they are already. But when I'm looking at the burger and I want to eat it, I just think hamburger. Hamburger. And you've fucked up as well because, first of all, you've...

You've put the wrapping right on your laptop. And second of all, you should have just left it as a little carrier for the burger because it's going to come out the fucking other end. Oh, no. Maybe I can recoup some losses by...

Alright, please don't do the pathetic voice because you're going to make me cry. I love you too much. I really can't have you do that. I'm holding it like this. There you go. That's better. And now, when the burger loses parts of itself, well, I'll be all the richer. Yeah. But you're wearing a black shirt, so do it over your shirt, okay? Just in case something does drop. Okay. And it's fine. Yummy. Oh, my God. I just had a little bit of the sauce. Fuck, it's good. All right, Demi. I'm...

About ready to bite into the Porto Double Bondi Burger. Beautiful. That's so good. Just like Doughboys. They don't do this on Doughboys. That's so good. I need a bite. Go on. Yeah, have a bite of it. God, chicken burger is so good. Right? Fuck. On Dobez, they have the smart thing to, for one... Have employees. I think I said on Doughboys. I think is what I said. On Doughboys, they make the smart decision to eat.

Before they turn up for the record. So then the only thing you're dealing with is going, oh. Yeah. Oh, my belly. Dude, this food is so good. And I keep seeing hamburger on there because I view it very positively. Hamburger as compliment rather than categorization. Hamburger brackets complimentary, yeah. Yes. Oh, it's so yummy. Yeah, it's unbelievable. It's truly a triumph. It's so good. I don't know how they do it.

I really don't. I mean, the sauce has to come into it in some way. The classic Aporto chili sauce, yes. Yes. The Bondi burger's signature chili sauce is, it must make up some part of it. You did fuck up by not putting the slice of pineapple on there, though. I continue to not get it. I know you don't like it, but you need to have it because it's so good. Well, then I didn't fuck up because I wanted it for me. Okay. Well, I had a bite, so.

Tom's Deep Dive: r/uglycocks

You did. Oh, it's yummy. Well, Demi, it's time for a segment. Yay. Yes. You have a burger in your hands. I'm holding it. Do you want me to put it downstairs? No. Don't. Please don't. Okay. Time for a segment. Okay. Tom deep dive. Internet deep dive. Tom deep dive. Internet deep dive. Tom went on the internet. Tom deep dive. I thought I'd be able to get through more before I... I forgot how short the theme was. Alright. I guess in conclusion, the Porto Challenge was won by me and Demi.

But I do believe that the Aporto chip is softer than its competitors. But in embracing that, it's carved out an interesting niche for itself. And it's avoided that being a downfall of the chain. I had to blow my nose. I see. Because there were a bunch of boogers coming out of it. So I blew my nose. Then I took just a little sip of cordial.

And then I got my other cup, which has a little bit of gin in it, and brought it up here. Welcome back, Demi. Thank you. And after this, I'll be getting a slumpo. They call her Mrs. Drinks. Slumpo, of course. Being Demi for Slurpee. Yeah. I've found, oh, for one thing, I do want to say the other thing that I could talk about for essentially forever is shitty Australian Mexican food.

Was that you trying to fart? Yeah, it went... I heard that. Yeah, that was my fart. Shitty Australian Mexican food like Guzmini Gomez. It's not Mexican food. It's goo. Yeah. It's not goo. Zambrero is good. But it's not Mexican food. Certainly not. It's bull crap, but it's good. It's yummy. Anyway, Demi, it's time for a Tom Deep Dive. Are you not going to ask me what I think that I could comment on?

I would love to. What do you think you could comment on, Demi? Boost bar. Yeah, it's a yummy chocolate. Yum. Five stars. And Slopey. And Slurpee, of course. Okay, Demi, today I bring to you a very interesting little world. I've been browsing the subreddit for r slash ugly cocks for a while now. This is a subreddit where people go to post their ugly cocks. Yeah. And some of them are clearly going on there being like, my cock's really ugly.

Some fellas are compliment fishing. They see a subreddit called Ugly Cocks and they're like, oh, well, my cock is so unsightly with how it blots out the sky and the head is so thick. Aw. It's got zero turning radius. Who could ever love this beast of a penis? It's not curly at all. And then there are some other cocks where it's like, oh, okay, no, you actually do have a really ugly penis. Yes.

There are some that go through several different hues in a way where I'm like, so did you go to the nudist beach soft? And now you're hard? And that's why there are different shades of penis? Yeah. Did the wrinkling give different tan line to your... All right. Here we have the description of r slash ugly cocks. Think you have an ugly... Really tiny, weird, or interesting looking cock? Tom, can I just see how broken the Y-E-S keys are on your computer?

This is what I was up late typing last night. Yeah, I heard what I thought was three gunshots. Yes, yes. We show ugly cock appreciation in this group. Or if you don't have an ugly cock and just need a confidence boost. feel free. So they do welcome, hey, if you need either the plausible deniability of being like, well, my cock's not ugly, but if these guys say they're like ugly, my cock's not ugly.

You're going to love me. Embrace and show off what you got. No negativity, no bullying, and no toxicity. And then the emojis that are eggplant, peeled banana, half-peeled banana, cucumber. Mushroom and the love heart. Well, I really think that you... I mean, no shade to the ugly cock community, but I do think that you...

I'm sorry. I do think you should have to have an ugly cock if you're posting on there. Like I know that they're like, well, even if your shit isn't ugly, you can post in here. But then so what are we doing? Yeah.

Ugly Cocks: Community & Call

What kind of a community is it then? It's just cocks. Maybe they're being a little too open to prospective people who are just like, I think I have an ugly cock and maybe I'm coming on here. But the thing they do is they flare their posts. Like, you know, you can have like a little thing that pops up alongside the post that says confidence boost. So it might be if someone posts like a picture of a...

Cock, the discourse that they're inviting is like, hey, just so you know, for this one, I just want to hear that you like it. Because regardless of whether this dick is fucked up or whatever. I would actually really appreciate if you just say nice things about it. And then some other ones aren't tagged that, and it's like, no, okay, you can be scared of this one. But then...

Okay, I'm willing to be open to this because I feel like the people who have the confidence to be posting in r slash ugly cocks would be more positive. than the average Reddit user. So I can understand why the crinkling, the crinkling and the chewing. I can understand why...

people might look for a confidence boost from these people because it's like, well, you love your ugly cock and other people's ugly cock. These people are connoisseurs. So then even if I don't have an ugly cock, then I know you're going to be kind to me. And it's not like you're going to a place that's like R slash compliment my dick. It's more like an organic version of that, which is I know that you all have love in your heart. The island, the, the.

R slash Uglycocks can almost be an island of misfit toys where maybe all these people who aren't able to find stuff in other subreddits can maybe come together and be like, hey, you know what? There's one place I belong. Yeah. I find, honestly, some of the penises very noteworthy. I'll get to one in particular later on. But I just kind of want to enjoy the descriptions and the language of these things. First off. Oh. Your mom calling? Hi, mommy. Oh.

I'm all right. Me and Tom are just recording our podcast and he's reading out some posts to me about men who post their tremendously ugly penises online to see whether other people think they're ugly as well. Oscar's with first. Oh, shit. Is there anyone else in the car? No, no, no. Oh, okay. Excellent. Sounds good. Sounds good.

You're working at the moment. Yeah, we're just doing the podcast. I'll text you after when we're done to see whether you want to have a chat. All right, no worries. All right. Bye. Love you.

Ugly Cocks: Posts and Comparisons

All right. Here we have some post titles from r slash ugly cocks. Ugly penis, by the way, is banned for being unmoderated. So there was a separate community. There was R slash Ugly Penis, but everyone who moderated that got like banned or whatever. And so it fell into disrepair and has disappeared. All right. I understand. I think.

All right. Anyway, here we have, I'm just going to read off some of these post titles. Please rate honestly and be very specific about your dislikes. Exclamation mark. Is my penis ugly? I'm only 18, but it already looks like it's so old. 5.5 inches and one of a kind. Yeah, fuck yeah, dude. Hell yeah, brother. Hey. I'm new here, but this is my hubby's tiny little cock. Here's mine. And then the emoji that like is melting into the floor, but smiling.

I never know what to think of when I see the melting smiley face because I always thought that it was a smiley face doing this. Oh. And then I looked at, which is like, you know, the cutesy pie, like head on the side, hands underneath the head. Yeah. And then I looked closer and was like, oh, it's dying. I've been like misreading the tone on a lot of messages. It's melting into a pool. Yeah. It's saying like.

Oh well Things are going bad But I'm putting on a brave face It's kind of the This is fine dog Yeah Sort of vibe I would say that's close to it Yeah Okay My German cock Oh Yeah That's a guy in a bath posting that one. Have you ever seen a cock like this before? Have you? Honestly, no. It's news to me. Is it really crazy? It's just very interesting. I'm actually proud of how much bigger it looks than normal here. It looks like, you know when E.T.'s almost dead in the ditch? Yeah, like that.

Kind of like gray, like limp. Good Lord! Demi, you are on the money. So, on the money, you could be Alexander Hamilton. I guess. You could be on the 520 or 10. I don't know if he's on any. Oh, okay. Sometimes I look down and it looks ugly after my morning workout and changing into work clothes. And then it's a photo of a penis poking out.

I think he's wearing a seatbelt and he's unzipped his jeans and it's just poking out through his jeans in a way that's really reminiscent of like, uh, like, you know, the slug lady from Monsters Inc. Her name is Roz. You know Roz from Monsters, Inc.? Wow, that really is very Roz-like. Right? Yeah, and oh my God, Tom. Yeah. Okay, look at it like the zip. is teeth and mouth. Okay. I'm doing that. And then the peeper is the big tongue that's about to lick you. Yeah. Here comes the excited doggy.

Stop. This one I really like because it ends in an exclamation mark. This is by, it's, I hate my small, ugly cock. And it's posted by a user, a real nice guy 1978. My wife says my cock is ugly. What do you think? This guy posts his cock with just the word thoughts. Okay. No question mark or whatever. Can I see it? Yeah, it looks like a witch's finger. Oh, that is quite, I mean, it's, yeah, that is ugly. Right? Yeah.

It legitimately kind of like it's thin and it's long, which is like, I mean, some people might. You're right. It's got its all. It's got it all. It's got its all. Why does it look like this? What do y'all think about this little thing? This is really, I can't believe you're not showing me every single one of these penises. Do you want to see every single one of them? I want to see, because hearing the, all right, I'll tell you when I need to see the penis. Okay.

What do you all think about this little thing is not particularly remarkable? That looks like somebody's very large facial pore. Yes. And then that they've... That they've squeezed it and the thing's come out and it's come out in a line. To misquote our friend Yoda. The foreskin is strong with this one. Oh, my God, to fuck it up, to fuck up in the Yoda impression is so much worse than to do it as a beard. Like, it's so fucked up and annoying. We'll be moving on.

25, this penis is an ugly one for sure and odd. Okay, do you think I want to see that one? It's not... Not remarkable? It's not particularly remarkable, but here you go. It's just got a couple. I... It's fine. I'm obsessed with this. Okay. Because this person has done some manscaping. Yes. They're also... Can I just... Yeah.

I'm assuming their penis usually leans to the left because they've got a very gentle hand gesture. It's kind of like this. And it's like they're not like holding their dick straight, but they've got their fingers there in a way that I'm like, oh, they're trying to look like.

They're trying to look casual about how they're holding their dick straight. Yeah. They're just kind of being chill with it. They've got the hand from Little Shop of Horrors when Audrey is singing out her window and she does this like a crab claw. They've got a little gentle crab claw at the top of their penis. It looks like they're about to peck their penis or maybe talk to it with a sock puppet. And then next up, this one I really like.

Some people like it and some people don't. Oh. You know what, buddy? I like it. Do you have balls? He does. They're just underneath it, I think. And then I just wanted to go ahead and show you this one for sure. Imagine sucking on one of these wieners and being like, I feel like I'm eating a peanut M&M.

Yeah, I mean like... And kind of just like rolling it around your mouth. If you've got a small cock, I've got to say, nothing but support for you. No, of course. It's a rough fucking time out there for people with body image issues of all sorts and kinds. I think if we're able to laugh at and enjoy our bodies in whatever way, that's great. It's also certainly not the sum total of who you are as a human being. And sometimes it's really funny.

The Alien Xenomorph Cock

Yeah. This is posted by SatisfactionOver3768. Alien... Sorry. Alien Xenomorphcock. Okay, so this is very related to my interests. Yes. I'll just go ahead and hand you. Yeah, just let me. Yeah. Wait, you want me to hold it? I think this is one you'll want to stare at. All right. Alien Xenomorph God. I won't look until I turn it around. Sure, it's three images, just so you know. All right. So... First damage. Oh! I mean... Wait. So what's...

What you've got there is one picture is the guy's erect cock and another picture is a still he's taken from... The movie Alien. That is not a still from Alien. That is a model that they have in probably, I would guess, a prop museum or potentially like a prop example museum. Like this is a replica that is not from the movie. Gotcha. So that's...

a replica of the prop in Alien that is the chestburster right after it's like scurrying away. Very clearly on wheels, yes, across the floor. Yes, wonderfully on a remote control car. And then in the third image... He's put it there to compare the two because he thinks they're very physically alike. And in the third image, he's photoshopped it onto his penis and it pretty much...

perfectly matches the outline. It really, really does. It's like the bend even of it is perfect. The bend? Jesus, I didn't even take in. Like, that dick is really big. It's humongous. I didn't even, I was looking. Like how much I was like ready to judge about. It's the size of a face hugger. What is going on. Yeah. But also just satisfaction over 3768.

It's supposed to look like that. The alien is. The alien in alien is supposed to look like a Peter and two grapes. Yeah, so he's being like, hmm, actually, my penis kind of looks like this. It's like, no, the... The alien is supposed to... Actually... They actually... H.R. Giger...

was asked to tone down the penisness of his design. That guy looking at the movie Alien and being like, I must be the first guy ever to see some kind of similarities between my ding-a-ling and that thingy thing. And that thingy thing, yeah. Yeah. Because... Yeah, it was a lot more penis-y and they were like, hey, we really like you as an artist.

Initially, there were several aliens and they came in varying sizes and efficiencies. And actually, the big one was the softest and the most efficient alien was... And the big one didn't get much bigger than it was initially, but the smaller one... Got rather large. Yes, and it was also going down on the spaceship more. That's right, yeah. And it was really spiky. Not really understanding. Not understanding what's good to have.

Pretzel Twist Penis Enigma

That is, I think, all I have for this little tour of... I'd love to keep up with r slash ugly cocks, though. Yes, and actually, sorry, the one thing that I wanted to... dwell on before we move along was there is a guy who posts to r slash ugly cox um who something is up and if you are a medical doctor I think maybe I'll make this post on like Blue Sky as well. And be like, hey, you need to opt into seeing this. Yeah. Can anyone help? Because I can't work out what is up with this guy.

I genuinely don't know what is going on to make some genitals look like this. Do you want to show me? Would you like to see? Yes. Enthusiastic yes. This is the guy who's been posting. I posted some screenshots of him, of his comments on other stuff in our group chat. where he was responding to people who say, he posted a picture of his penis on r slash ugly cocks and the first person who responded said, what happened to it?

Where he says, nothing all dot good thanks. Just a bit different from the rest of the cocks here. Lol, XX. What do you think? And she said, it's hot. He said, thanks for your compliment, XX. What would you do to it, XX? How does it work? Where is your urethra? All dot good, thanks. and then replies separate comment on the head I need to see it here is please let me see it I really I really can't tell what is going on. Demi's mouth is open. Her eyebrows are up. Oh my god.

I don't know. Oh my God. It looks like it's twisting in on itself. Yeah. It's posted by the Reddit user performancehot4717. No. Punctuation, no nothing. But it looks like it's like a pretzel twist. Whoa. That's so interesting. So careful with your screen. I will be, yeah. Also, he posts it like everywhere. He posts it in... He keeps posting it in UK Bullfinder.

and just like he posted in r slash ugly cox that's where i found him but he also posted in other cox subreddits where it's not about a penis that's ugly but then he posted here and i just don't think this is the kind of content that people who look for a monster cock are looking for, though it technically fits the bill. I just... Yeah, I think he's thinking, what, like, are real monsters? I don't... Like terrifying cocks? He seems to be posting...

He's also posting an r slash huge cock club, cock compare request, r slash old cocks, r slash bigger than your BFs. He's posting his stuff just about everywhere he can. I don't really know what to say. That's, um, I've never seen anything like that. Right? And like, it seems like it just sort of curls up to go to sleep. And then like when he pulls it straight, it's like, well, you shouldn't do that. It looks like the kind of penis that a super mutant from Fallout would have.

Yeah. Yeah. There's one shot of it from front on. And in this one, it looks like the head of his penis has another much smaller head of the penis coming out of it. Like that's literally. How is this? How? I really don't understand. I'm stumped. I'm complete. He is too. Well. He's fucking tree-drunked is what he is. Yeah. That is so fascinating, and I'm not mucking about. Like, I mean that. Yeah.

Well, what do you know? It really gave me pause. I'm just... And it can look like so many different things. Like... It's got so many shapes. In one, he's turned it around, so it's almost sitting there like a horseshoe. Well, I was going to say that in one of them, it looks like it's asleep, like it's curled up and its nose is cold. Yes. You know?

It's like curled in on itself. Like, you know, when you look at your cat and they're doing nothing and you're like... Because they're like... Yeah, it reminds one of nothing so much as... things that are not a penis. Yeah. It is the most. It doesn't remind me of a penis. It's completely without comparison in terms of genitals. But in terms of like other stuff, I look at it and I'm like.

Oh yeah, like a loofah. Or like maybe you break into an abandoned building and someone's left like a draft blocker under the door for like several years. Yes. You know? Yes. Precisely. Like one that somebody messed up. Maybe someone on like the Great British Bake Off fucked up the most anyone has ever done. Like didn't even turn the oven on. Yeah. And then served a croissant. It kind of looks like, you know, have you ever seen like a sausage making machine?

Where it like pukes all of the sausage meat into the sheep intestines? I was advised not to see how the sausage gets made if I wanted to keep my sausage intake at a healthy level. Did they tell you not to hear how it gets made? Oh, no, no, no. I can hear all I want. So right at the start of it when they have the sheep intestines and stuff there and they kind of like pull the intestines onto the nozzle of it. Mm-hmm.

And when the meat starts going in, it goes kind of crazy with it at the start. Yeah, like how it would be like water running through a hose, like a fire hose. Yeah. But then like the first little bit, so it was like all lumpy until it like gets a steady stream of sausage meat going into the cheap intestines. Yeah. And then it's like, now it looks like sausages. They twist it and then there's a sausage and sausage links and stuff.

I see where you're coming at this from. It looks like if you did that, but you just put all of the limp intestines on there and went, just for a second. Can I? I think you've inspired me with one. His penis kind of looks like an ill-prepared clown tried to make a balloon animal snake out of sausages. Yes. Yes. Or like it's a doggy and then it like thump. Yeah. It's a dead worm. Yeah. It's a dead fat worm. Sure is. I mean, it kind of is. That's tremendous. I mean.

And it's gigantic. Again, well done. Again, it's... I mean, not well done, but, like, good on you. It's really, and this is clear from his posts... It's problematically large. Yeah. Again, the user you can check out here is performancehot4717. Yeah. Numerals and all spaces. He's posting in a bunch of places. Seems to be UK-based, which is... Just a wonderful little flavour ad to know he's like, hey, love. What do you think of this? It's big, innit? It doesn't look nice.

Episode Wrap-up and Promotions

Yeah, it's a real, oh, I want a big cock and then, you know, the finger on the monkey's paw curls. Yeah. Well. That's been a good episode, I think, of Big Soft Titty Dot PNG. I agree, Demi. I've had a wonderful time. I had a lot of fun. And now we get to go eat the burger. Well, you're going to eat the burger, babe.

I had my bite and that's my fill. I love the burger and I love the flavour. I want you to have the rest of the burger and enjoy it. Alright, well here at the end of the episode I want to say everybody should check out The podcast Dragon Friends. Yeah. You're about to look at your pod finder and queue up a next episode of something. Yeah. More than likely. Go ahead and check out Dragon Friends because that is a podcast that where Demi. Hi.

And friends who have been on the podcast previously play Dungeons and Dragons. And the most recent season has Michael Hing DMing and he is fantastic at it. He's very, very good at it. And it's like, look, we... We play Dungeons and Dragons, and we do pay attention to the rules, but...

It's fucked. It's a funny show. It's a great show done in front of a live audience. You'll like it if you like Demi. Recent guests as well. Guy Montgomery, Olga Koch, Carla Ritchie. Just really good people. Hell yeah. Yep. All right. Thank you, everybody. We will see you later. That podcast again is Dragon Friends. It's available wherever you get your podcasts. Wherever you giggity get your podcasts.

You can giggity get dragon friends. I'm not in a position to receive this criticism. All right. Bye, everybody. Bye. Love you. Bye. Bye. Love you. Bye. Bye. Take control of the numbers and supercharge your small business with Xero. That's X-E-R-O. With our easy-to-use accounting software with automation and reporting features.

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ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. fantasy reader looking to cure your book hangover, then welcome, welcome, welcome to the Fantasy Fangirls Podcast. I'm Lexi, older sister and fantasy lore nerd. And I'm Nicole, younger sister and romantic at heart. And we love exploring these stories, worlds, and characters.

well beyond the last page. Fantasy Fangirls is not your typical book deep dive podcast. When we say deep dive, we mean deep dive, where every episode covers a stretch of chapters and is structured with five segments to easily follow along. We are currently deep diving Quicksilver

by Callie Hart in the lead up to its highly anticipated sequel, Brimstone. We're so excited. We hope you join us as we travel through the Quicksilver to dive deep into literary and character analysis, theories, lore, themes, and so much more. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere.

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