Start up the music, it's time for the biggest space-captain fight since Kirk took on that lizard-man! River must survive an attempt on his life while he and Max grapple with an unexpectedly zealous foe--and the GURPS grappling rules. Will The Girls get there in time to help? And will this spell disaster for the Melchior's maiden voyage? Listen and learn! Content warning for light body horror, threat of gun violence, assassination attempt. Music is "Whistling Winds" by Peritune www.youtube.com/wa...
Jun 12, 2025•1 hr 43 min
The Melchior's officers keep looking for answers to the mysterious death, but the more information they unearth, the less sure they are of anything, including the victim's own identity! With a ticking clock hanging over them, the expedition itself could be in jeopardy--and might their own lives also be in danger? Content warning for discussion of imperialism, surveillance and espionage, autopsy, and possible body horror. Music is "Whistling Winds" by Peritune www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVjSLiLF0RY ...
May 28, 2025•1 hr 30 min
GASP! There's been a murder upon the Melchior! Unless her blood just Did That somehow. But just in case it IS murder, we'd better lock down the ship and look for suspects! The officers scramble to unravel this shocking mystery; will all their technology and training be enough to keep the maiden voyage on schedule? Content warning for discussion of imperialism, surveillance, corpses, and blood. Music is "Whistling Winds" by Peritune www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVjSLiLF0RY under the Creative Commons A...
May 09, 2025•1 hr 31 min
It's time to get our most ambitious campaign yet underway! In the wake of brutal oppression and bloody rebellion, a coalition of different species and cultures attempts to repurpose the tools of violence for discovery and diplomacy. One such tool, Captain River La Rosa, is being led to his first command under the Alliance's peacetime navy, and he's about to find that just being a former Hegemony soldier isn't enough to make him the oddest officer aboard. But the whole motley crew will soon have ...
Apr 21, 2025•1 hr 51 min
Take a glimpse of the future's past. A fungal acolyte examines an alien specimen. A weary turncoat recounts a brutal war. A soldier of fortune leaves his fortune behind. A captive outlaw takes some time to reflect. An uplifted entertainer sets foot among the stars. They do not know it, but their fates are intertwined...
Apr 04, 2025•34 min
It's the finale of our first Kids on Bikes episode! The kids (sans bikes) literally descend once more into the strange conspiracy beneath Davis, risking their own hides for the good of their new weird little friend. Can they free Duende's "parent," and when they do, could some kind of complication somehow arise from freeing a giant tentacled memory-eating alien? Listen and find out! Content warning for underground facilities, tentacles, strangulation, accelerated time, and winged monsters. Intro...
Feb 16, 2025•1 hr 46 min
Having escaped the secret underground bunker with their new friend, the kids (sans bikes) need to come up with a plan for what to do next. Obviously Ryder's plan to jump the northern border and become itinerant highwaymen is GREAT, but we could at least use a Plan B. After splitting up for some side missions, the gang must break into somewhere even riskier: Ryder and Fiona's house. Will they get what they need without a confrontation with their increasingly mysterious mother? Is Duende more of a...
Jan 29, 2025•1 hr 37 min
Twist after twist! Our young heroes have discovered a strange series of hallways under the woods, of all places, and who do they find there but Ryder and Fiona's mother! Surely she'll have an explanation for all of this and we can trust her to be up-front about everything that's going on AND react calmly to a bunch of kids breaking into the secret base. I'm also sure that we won't encounter some manner of fucking Thing. Content warning for imprisonment, child endangerment and parental abuse, ten...
Jan 07, 2025•1 hr 21 min
The meddling kids of Davis, WA are hot on the trail of a mysterious winged creature that may or may not have a sinister power over memory! But will their trusty bicycles be enough to help them when they're drawn into the woods and unsure of their own minds? Also what if one of them goes over a tree root and wipes out? There's so much at stake, and things are only going to get stranger, right up to the CLIFFHANGER TWIST ENDING! Content warning for memory alteration, humanoid monsters, getting los...
Dec 17, 2024•1 hr 24 min
It's time for a good old-fashioned autumnal street fair in Davis, Washington! While Shelly works a fortune-telling side hustle and Terry tries to sniff out a case for Knife Money, the Whitehurst sisters literally stumble into a seemingly mundane incident that will lead all four of them down an unexpected path... Surely there isn't anything mysterious or sinister happening in this quiet Pacific Northwest town? Also, stay tuned 'til the end for a preview of Issues, Elliot's upcoming Masks AP! Cont...
Dec 05, 2024•1 hr 28 min
Back in the 90s, we were in a whole new tabletop campaign led by returning cast member Elliot! Genny, Elly, Sara, and Saturn are gearing up to play Kids on Bikes Second Edition, a game about strange goings-on in small-town America. This episode is mostly about designing the quirks of the specific small town we'll be playing in, and then working out our (possibly quirkier) cast of unattended minors. We end up with a former uranium-mining hub inhabited by two diametrically opposed sisters, a boy d...
Nov 30, 2024•2 hr 11 min
For our three hundredth episode, we have almost three hours of intrigue and conflict both supernatural and interpersonal! There's almost too much to really summarize it, just rest assured that this really is one of our biggest, gayest, and nerdiest episodes yet. And this is coming from the person who ran MASKS, so the bar is pretty high. Content warning for character death, toxic gas, gun violence, explosives, sinking ship, paralyzation, surgical scars, cut throat, bodily control, rats, maybe so...
Nov 12, 2024•2 hr 52 min
As the clandestine cruise gets underway, the ninja of the Shadow War begin to clash, with tenuous alliances and deadly rivalries forming in instants. Blood will be drawn, secrets will be revealed, and the phrase "platonically cucked" will be uttered. Listen, things take a turn, I don't really know how to explain it without context, you'll just have to listen. Content warning for body disposal, toxic gas, gun violence, and surveillance. Music is "Cyber_Noir" by Peritune www.youtube.com/watch?v=_v...
Oct 30, 2024•1 hr 18 min
We return to the Shadow War of modern Japan, where rival factions of ninja struggle for control of temporal and supernatural power. A symbol of both these things has fallen into the hands of an unscrupulous foreign businessman, and he wants to auction it to the highest bidder... on his personal cruise ship! Now, alongside countless criminals, mystics, and general-purpose freaks, our two familiar ninja rivals converge and cross paths with a third! That's right, Saturn's joining Genny and Jonix as...
Oct 21, 2024•1 hr 21 min
Our Masks campaign may have reached its conclusion, but the stories of our four young heroes have only just begun! For this episode we're squarely in Freeform Mode as we explore the immediate and long-term futures of our cast. What kind of hero will Pate become with her newfound powers? Will Luka be able to have some normality? Which ties will Juno cut, and which will she cherish? Who's going to stop Pipa from recruiting every quirky robot they meet for a workplace sitcom? Where will any of them...
Aug 28, 2024•2 hr 1 min
It's time for the final episode of Masks: a New Generation! At least for now. Just how big of a bang will it go out with? Will the New Wave become ascendant torch-bearers for superheroism or a bunch of vilified outlaws? What move will Agent Tan pull next? And what about that freaky robot? Forget all that, what the hell is a skrull? Listen on to find out, dear big gay nerds! Content warning for police and gun violence, stabbing, and melting humanoid figures. Music by Perennial Sounds LLC
Aug 22, 2024•1 hr 43 min
The dust has barely begun to settle after the New Wave's averted implosion when their reaffirmed comradery is threatened by an outside force: AEGIS! Did you really expect this campaign to end without us picking another fight with the cops? In this thrilling throw-down of an episode, Pate flexes her timeskip development, Juno is a friend 'til the end, Pipa shows off yet another cool bike trick, and Luke crosses a point of no return. Content warning for threats of police and gun violence, helicopt...
Aug 08, 2024•1 hr 16 min
Now I know what you're wondering: is the title referencing the Offspring song, or the Fall Out Boy song? The answer is both, really. Unfortunately that's all I can say about this episode without spoiling things, but if you guessed you were in for some PVP you were right! Content warning for discussion of parental death, death threats, suicidal language, and multiple personalities. Music by Perennial Sounds LLC
Aug 01, 2024•1 hr 22 min
Well, things are looking pretty shaky over in Halcyon City. Juno is flickering on the edge of a meltdown and ready to go on the warpath, Pipa is struggling just to get back in the loop, Pate realizes just how many loose ends she has to tie, and Luke is... mostly okay, but confronting a lot about where his(?) principals have led him(?). But hey, don't worry, because Your New New Favorite Character is here to fill the Briar-shaped hole in your hearts. Content warning for discussion of parental dea...
Jul 27, 2024•1 hr 34 min
Hooboy, things sure are messy for our rookie heroes! Luke has blood(?) on his(?) hands for the first time, Pate has to deal with an overbearing patriarch she thought she'd left behind, Pipa is fighting for her life with her cyber-assassin sibling, and Juno... Juno's got a lot on her shoulders and there's about to be a LOT more. Listen on for one of the biggest twists in Masks! Content warning for sci-fi gun violence, fantastical dismemberment, paralyzing injury, building collapse, and discussion...
Jul 18, 2024•1 hr 37 min
Things are getting increasingly dire with our split narrative! In Halcyon City, the confrontation of Lady Photon gets hairy as Le Chat enters the arena; can Juno prevent more harm than she causes, and just what does Pipa have up her sleeves? Meanwhile, Under the Hill, Pate devises a cunning plan to foil Prince Briar's wedding plans, and Luke is the key component; will it buy their freedom or just get them both in deeper trouble? It's a messy situation, and folks, it's going to end messier than o...
Jul 11, 2024•1 hr 36 min
In this episode, the New Wave's two couples find themselves in surprisingly similar situations despite being in other dimensions; both are facing down an antagonistic force in said force's home turf, and are doing their damnedest to Diplomacy and Deception their respective ways out of the problem. The difference is that Juno and Pipa are high-stakes urban exploring while Pate and Luke are getting Disney Princessed. Content warning for imprisonment and arranged engagement. Music by Perennial Soun...
Jul 04, 2024•1 hr 3 min
The party is more split than ever before, in terms of both geography and individual goals! Pipa and Juno find themselves inside AEGIS HQ yet again, but this time there's more to contend with than simple threats; what comes first, team loyalty or not wanting your girlfriend to get assassinated? Meanwhile, Luke and Pate find themselves in Prince Briar's domain and in his debt; can they tolerate his arrogant affections long enough to find a way back? Stakes and tensions are high on both sides of th...
Jun 13, 2024•1 hr 10 min
The chaos of Burnheart's Day comes to a head as Pate and Luke try to find a way to get out of all this without anyone getting thrown into superprison. Is Luke willing to put himself on the line for Luka's sake, and just how far will Pate go to protect her Love? And will Pipa answer her damn phone already?!? Content warning for state surveillance, arrest at gunpoint, and fantastical bodily destruction. Music by Perennial Sounds LLC
Jun 07, 2024•1 hr 12 min
As the Burnheart's Day Saga continues, Luke confronts Lady Photon about her origins and plans for the future while Pate stands guard, both keenly aware that they have stepped into a carefully-constructed trap... meanwhile, Pipa and Juno have some tasty street food! Content warning for state surveillance, discussion of transphobia Music by Perennial Sounds LLC
May 30, 2024•1 hr 7 min
Look, stuff like corporate partnerships, faerie curses, revolutionary praxis, and shadowy deals are important, I guess, but that's nothing compared to trying to have a nice date in your city's weird regional Valentine's Day variant! Which is what this episode is about. I'd blabber more but I wouldn't want to spoil all the romantic surprises, or the fact that Pate is goth now. Wait forget that last part. Music by Perennial Sounds LLC
May 23, 2024•1 hr 32 min
As we jump from one out-of-date holiday season to another, it's time for some more Love Letters to see how everyone fares with their personal goals! Juno wins hearts and minds at the cost of her sanity, Pate does some research for one, Luke learns some more about Luka's role model, and Pipa makes a deal of the most devilish kind! Content warning for arranged marriage proposal. Music by Perennial Sounds LLC
May 14, 2024•1 hr 22 min
Hey look, our episodes have titles now! And that's not the only thing that's new: it's time to introduce your new favorite Masks character! He sucks really bad. Content warning for arranged marriage engagement. Music by Perennial Sounds LLC
May 01, 2024•1 hr 20 min
If you wanted an easy way to pitch Big Gay Nerds to friends and/or family, we've got just the thing for you! Our founder/editor gives you an overview of what BGN is all about, and backs it up with two prime examples of the kind of stuff we get up to. Clips are taken from Big Gay Nerds Episodes 255 and 260. Content warning for brief drugging mention and alcohol.
Apr 24, 2024•36 min
Three big fights come to a head! Luke is doing his damnedest to foil his father-figure's assassination, but is Le Chat just too much robot catboy to handle? Meanwhile, Juno's on the scene with Pipa and Luca, but the situation's only going to get messier, especially for Pipa. And of course, what will happen when Pate finds herself locked in combat with someone who's just plain stronger than her? In this episode, things are going to change... Content warning for prisons, bullet wounds, urban colla...
Feb 29, 2024•1 hr 19 min
