Hello and welcome to Big Gay Energy. I'm Caitlin. And I'm Fiora. Come along with us while we dive into the fun and nuances of queer media. Representation matters, and we're. Here to talk about it. Cheers, queers. What's on the big agenda today, Theora? Today we will be wrapping up our scene by scene breakdown of Heart Stopper Season 3. Today we'll be doing episode 8, which is the final episode of season 3. We made it to the finale, Woo.
And oh, it's called a part, which is not inspiring. No, I I have this later. That's the worst title that you want to see for a finale episode, unless it was Heart Stopper 'cause then you're like, oh OK, it's fine. But like there's still is it fine? Is it? Fine. Is it fine the end? If it is the end, end. I know we're still in limbo at the time of this recording. Oh my God, yeah, for real. OK. And of course, joining us once again is Elena. And maybe Ringo. We'll see.
We hope. Ringo graces us with his presence for the final episode of Season 3, and that'd be nice. Yeah, he's currently running around the living room. OK, bye. So. Thanks for the Ringo update. It's very important to tell this podcast so we know what he's doing. I feel like Ringo needs his own like news intro like the Ringo update this minute. Yes, here's the regular column. Before we jump into the episode, just a quick announcement.
No matter what happens, this will not be our last Heart Stopper episode on our podcast because we still have Volume 6 which the webtoons been releasing, so it's going to be good. But once that's officially published, we will be covering Volume 6 of Heart Stopper. If Alice decides to continue the Heart Suffer universe in any format, we'll be back to do that too, for sure.
Yeah. So just FY, this will not be our last Heart Suffer content and we're holding out hope for Season 4. So like we'll see, but OK. Yes. Let's get into. A. Part, shall we? OK, so a part starts very shortly after together, which was the previous episode where Nick and Charlie are basking in the afterglow of their first time together, which like, good
on you boys, I'm glad. And overall, it's a very sweet scene where they're just like, checking in with each other and just executing those really good communication skills. And Charlie asks Nick if he was bothered by the fact that he kept his shirt on. And Nick replies, I loved every
second of what just happened. So like, I feel like Charlie really needed to be validated by Nick, You know, despite like the fact that everything went well seemingly from what we, you know, understand from their their first time. But like, to have the validation there from Nick verbally, I think was really good for Charlie. Oh, definitely. Yeah. He's probably bothered by the fact that he had to keep his
shirt on, right. I think it's more so he was in his head than like, obviously Nick was like, I didn't even notice. I was just so happy with what? Was. Happening. I don't even know. Your shirt's still on. Really. Yeah, Nick was not thinking about that at all. But. Like Nick is. No thoughts, just gay. He was just gay and he was here for it. Yeah, exactly. That's going to be your new T-shirt, guys. No thoughts, Just gay no. Thoughts. Just gay. I'm sure like we've said it enough to.
All right, Elena, keep that in your head. Let me know at the end of this episode. I have no pen near me. New merch, no art. OK anyway, so then they kind of talk about like a little bit about one, what went down? And based on their conversation, they did quote touching, but no penetrative anything. OK, which OK. And then the question comes up, did that count as sex? What we just did? And the conclusion from Charlie is that sex can mean a lot of
things. And truly, I love this response because we kind of talked about this in the previous episode where a lot of sex Ed is heterosexual focused. And and when we talk about like relationships in general, and that includes sex. So like you're you're taught to be like, that's what sex is, OK, just what the heterosexuals do. So by Charlie saying this, he it validates so many experiences that are not within this narrow definition of like what is sex
kind of thing? Because there there is this freedom in being able to define your relationship however you want. And that's basically what Charlie's saying. He's like, well, if we think it was sex, then it was sex. Like that's all. It's our relationship. Why, like, why bring other people and other like, you know, things into this? This is between US and like, it means what we want it to mean.
So I like that. I like that they're having this conversation because it like collectively empowers the two of them to just view this as whatever they want because it's their relationship. And I do love it. I think that's really important. OK so then they keep talking, talking about sex and naturally Nick lets it slit that he was researching other things they could do because teenage boy and
like Google, right? To continue the conversation with the last episode, do you think Nick was reading fan fiction? I hope. So I hope so. And what would the fan fiction be about? Probably Marvel fan fiction going Nick. He's probably like reading, like Bucky and like Captain America fan. Fiction. I, you know, I wasn't gonna, I actually, no, I wasn't gonna say that. It depends. It does Agatha all along already exist at this point in the universe.
Shit. So. At this point I I. Mean it was airing when this came out. That's true. Right, because I know dropped around the same time as Hard Stopper season 3. Yeah, I mean, were were we far? And I think we we're probably far enough into the gay shit in the show. I mean episode episode 1 was already pretty gay. Right, there's already like new stuff. But would really, I don't know that would that have been beneficial for Nick? That's the real question. I mean, OK, that could have
sparked the fanfic journey. If he's like, oh, boy's kissing, that could have led into AO3 because like, the minute there's an episode of anything of gay stuff on television, there's got to be a fanfic immediately about that that goes off the rail. So I'm sure Nick, maybe that's how he got there. Anytime two people look at each other for more than a second fanfic, immediate. That's true. They're definitely I mean, I there's. Just scrolling through Tumblr the the fan base for Stephen
Bucky just like is insane. Even like when you don't follow the tags just like following random people just post everywhere. Listen, I've been involved with so many ships on Tumblr against my will just because it shows up by like mutuals that are obsessed. So like I get it like you just. Oh my God. I know too many things about Critical Role because of people on Tumblr and I'm like, I don't know what this is but I know too much about it against my will because you guys keep posting.
About it Also it probably shows up in your four year page cuz you hear me talk about DND and shit so that probably doesn't help. It's all good, okay? At this point, it's just like the news, the queer news are like, okay, that's happening. Great. Yeah, I mean, it's fair, man. So Nick was reading Captain America and Bucky Fanfare. I'm pretty sure that's what he was doing. But Charlie's like, let me read
this fan fiction. So he lunges for Nick's laptop, and then he finds that Nick's search history unfortunately isn't AO3, it's universities that he has a bunch of tabs open for. Which based on Charlie's reaction, worse than finding actual porn on Nick's computer the way he reacts to it. But also, never look at someone's search history unless you're ready to learn something that you probably don't want to know. Also like, never read search histories of authors because
you'll be like. That's like what I'm going to say. Something something something. Research. Research got to do. How to do anything. It's like, I promise this was for research, for my, for my book. I promise. Yeah, it's like how? Long I'm like. Dead body I feel like. I'm on some government list at this point. Authors are all like government lists. How long does it take somebody to suffocate Which? Literally. Anyway, why do you? Need to know this for for science science science.
I'm asking for a. Friend, if you're not an author and you're somebody who's just a genuinely curious person about that kind of stuff. Which is also. Valid. I'm not saying it's not valid to ask questions. It just but again. I mean there's random questions that pop in your head like I one time googled do plant sleep or no yeah, do plant sleep. They do like make me sleep. Anyway, continue. OK, anyway, so during this conversation, they both are the
scene. They both Nick and Charlie both look really uncomfortable because it's that this is 1 of this is the elephant in the room. The inevitability of Nick going to university is going to change their relationship one way or another because it's like I saw you. I used to see you every single day at school. Now I don't like it's a change either way, just just the way like their first time is something that changes the relationship.
It doesn't mean change is bad or good necessarily, just means things are going to be different one way or another. But this particular change can be really scary because basically they're they're on the cusp of their relationship morphing because they're becoming more physical, more intimate than they were before. So like, it, it change, you know, can be really kind of scary.
So Nick reassures Charlie he's like, look, I'm going on a road trip with the girls to like visit different campuses. That's why I was researching. But he very quickly reassures Charlie that like, Hey, my top choice is the ones that are closest to you and that seems to please. CC doesn't really say anything. He just gets really quiet and like, like he's thinking and like getting into his head. But when Nick says this, it seems to like appease him a
little bit. But the look on Nick's face shows that he's not 100% happy with the local choices, which is something we've been speculating all season based on, like Nick's reaction to, like his brief research that he's done or whenever he gets asked about it, he very quickly evades the question and makes it about Charlie. I feel like Charlie should have been able to see that Nick isn't 100% about what he's saying, but Charlie just wants it to be true so badly that he won't question it.
And like like the Charlie at the beginning of the season would be just overthinking it. Like oh is he choosing me? Is he going to regret this? Is this going to be terrible? Am I holding him back? But now he's just trying to hold on to the good things because he's had so many bad days that he doesn't see what's going on. And it's kind of like how Darcy had was going through so much and is trying to hold on to their relationship with Tara that they're not seeing Tara's
issues. So they're just trying to hold on to the good things. And but like that poor kid, like look at him, he's not happy. No, Nick's been not happy about this the whole time and that's why he's been avoiding it really and just sticking with, well, you know, this plan, even though it clearly doesn't make him fully happy. So Charlie just tries to distract Nick from spiraling and things start getting heated again. And then the arrival of Livia Olivia Coleman off screen breaks
this up from going any further. I mean, for Olivia Coleman not being in the season, she sure is in the season a lot. You know we did our best. But Charlie starts immediately freaking out about this. And I love that Nick isn't. He's just laughing at Charlie in like a sweet way, not like a ha ha, you're freaked out about this. That's funny. It's just like all you're adorable. Like it's just for mom.
And it just shows how much Olivia Coleman has created such a safe space for Nick at home that he doesn't have to, like, sneak around and like, hide things from her. He can be open with her and that's amazing. Yeah, I will say, her not being here, it definitely robs us of the really hilariously awkward encounter that happens after the scene in the comics where Sarah's like, Olivia Coleman's like, oh, hi, Charlie, I didn't know you were here.
He's like, hi, Sarah. Hi. And then like when they're in the car, he's like, Oh my God, Nick, she totally knew what we were doing. We she totally knew. And Nick's like Charlie. She doesn't care. No, she's like, I'll talk to her about it. Later. Yeah, it's all good. It was such a, it's such a funny scene. I know you're robbed.
From so many scenes. I wish if there's another season and Olivia Coleman come back, they need to just like film, like these special scenes like extended extended season 3 that they just like put on YouTube or something. It's deleted scenes but it's not deleted cuz it was right re added back in special retroactive scenes. Yeah, non deleted scenes. Yeah, so if we're just we're robbed of all the Olivia Coleman fund us and Nick just draw.
He takes Charlie home and we get this really sweet I love you before the rude title card jumps in, which is the animation. It's animated hand holding. And then they let go. And in the absence of as the hands are separating, the word apart appears and it's giving like my first impression of this is giving very much like to love is to let go basically like the symbolism of that cause like a little heart comes in into also.
But like it's already sad because it's the last episode of the season, but then you had to make this the title card. Like, it's just rude, you know? You really want seven and eight titles to be swapped. For real, I get it. But I'm still sad. I honestly, I think I I love that the I'm pretty sure this is right. I might be totally wrong on this, but the the hands holding is also a nod to the comics. The drawings of the hands. I think that's actually supposed to be Alice's drawings, like in
the. I think it's in the chapter card of Together, like this chapter, it's the picture of Nick and Charlie holding hands, and it's really cute. So I was like, that's really cute. I love that. Yeah. And of course, after that, Charlie very awkwardly comes home and immediately, who is there at the stairs but his own beloved sister Tori. But like how? She greets him is so fun. She like stalks down the stairs, stares at him and then noisily drinks her diet lemonade out of
her straw. Like most judge. Mentally, it's the most Tory entrance of any scene in the whole show. I I just love it. I love how Jenny is able to show Tori through her motions of sipping her lemonade, but it's always got such a different context. In this moment she is as mug as hell yes yeah, she we've had we've had angsty sips, we've had angry sips. We've had sadness yeah. We've had sad sips we've had like in season 1 when she was appraising her brother for breaking up with a toxic
boyfriend. We had a well done sip we've. Had. Yeah, we've had, yeah, exactly. We've had ones where she's annoyed, where she's like, I just get out of here, don't talk to me. But now she is smug. Also, Tori in the scene is wearing black Bunny slippers. When you can see when she's walking down the stairs, you see her feet first as she's coming down and she's got black Bunny slippers on, which I think is.
Adorable. Adorable. Like I wonder, I wonder who made the choice in the costume department on that one, because that's really cute. And it also just like shows. At first I thought she was wearing shoes and I was like, oh, she was in the house. Oh, but they're slippers. I thought that was really cute. So. So yeah, Tori, via the the smug sip of her lemonade, is silently teasing Charlie because of course he comes home wearing X clothes, which he has done many
times before. However, I think part of where her smugness is, is in episode 2, which is obviously at this point many, many months ago now, probably getting close to a year ago. Jane basically is like assuming that Charlie, Nick and Charlie are already having sex at that point because he's coming home in Nick's clothes. And in this context, the whole point of Charlie going over to Nick's house is because that's what they want. And now here he is coming home again in Nick's clothes.
What is what is Tori supposed to think? Obviously. And so Charlie immediately bites back and he says, like, hey, you come home in Michael's clothes all the time. And Tori immediately insists, like, she's gets all defensive. She's like, that's different. And Charlie's like, you can just tell me if you're dating. It's kind of obvious. And Tori's like, you wouldn't understand. Of course, like those of us who have read Solitaire, we know the context.
We know that it's not as simple as that for Nick or for Michael and Tori. But Charlie has no freaking clue what's going on, so. He doesn't, and that's the issue. Also, I know that this is Charlie's story, OK? And I know we've talked about this before, but there really, really needs to be a scene where nothing's happening and Charlie just goes into Tori's room, is like, sits down and is like, hey, how are you doing? What's going on? Anyone.
Yeah, I agree. Like a lot of their dynamic that we see is Tori checking up on Charlie and it's never reciprocated or rarely reciprocated. Finally, we get a reciprocation in this episode at the very end, kind of where they're on the Ferris wheel. But like, Charlie makes a lot of assumptions about Tori and like, doesn't seem to like, try to get to know her, which is kind of
weird. But I don't know if that's reinforced by the fact that Tori's the little black cat in the house where she's like lady a little like she's she's a solitary creature. So like maybe that's just been reinforced by Tori being like, no, like being closed off.
But yeah. I think it also goes to show that even like despite Charlie being an openly gay person, like he even as a member of the LGBTQ plus community and being like the inclusive and understanding and accepting person that he is just at heart, he even is guilty of kind of the heteronormative, I guess would be the most proper way to explain it. Like of like Tori and Michael. Oh well, they spend all this time together, they must be dating.
Right, boy and girl. Yeah. And also then of course, functions in the end of the episode, he said something about a straight couple, calls him a straight couple. It's like, again, assuming they're both straight, blah, blah. We'll get into that some more later. We will get into that. Yeah. But yeah, it's. It's so easy to fall into that thinking because that's what you're surrounded with. Yeah. And like even even since he is part of the queer community, he is also guilty of that.
And it does go to show that just because you are identifying as something doesn't mean that you know everything there is to know about it or and you know, you're you're one part of an entire community. So I really like that it does address that. Yeah, true. And even with with Charlie in particular, who went on this exact journey with Nick where like people assume Nick is gay or straight and there's the constant reinforcement of he's
bisexual. Like he literally went on this campaign with Nick. And so, yeah, it just goes to, yeah, to your exact point, like even when you have similar experiences, sometimes, like you just fall back into that pattern of like, we've been indoctrinated in as a society that like boy plus girl equals dating. Yeah, just assumptions. Just assumptions. Yeah. Boy plus girl. Boy and girl spend so much time together all the time, right?
Neither of them have expressed that they are gay, so they must be together. So yeah, it's kind of that whole thing, which obviously in Charlie's mind, there's no. Like there's no hostility. There's no. Right. It's not malicious, Yeah. I guess you'd even call it no ignorance even behind it. He just is simply, for lack of a better word, naive to it. And it kind of just goes to show again that it is a spectrum.
It's all it's all a spectrum. So after that, Charlie is called into the kitchen to have a chat with his mom. So this very first moment, I appreciate that. We see Jane and Julio, the mom and dad, They're sitting at the kitchen table and Julio leans over and he whispers, you got this? And gives her a little kiss on the cheek. And I thought that was incredibly sweet and just another example of like what we
saw at the end of last episode. He is his wife's support system and from what we can tell from the rest of the family that we saw in episode 5, he is probably like her only support system. So it is it is really sweet to see like he is there and he says you got this. But then he leaves her the room, like he leaves the room to give her the space to talk to her son. So And after he leaves, they sit down and the mom Jane actually apologizes for.
She says she snapped at Charlie and she insists she's always going to worry about him because she's his mom naturally so and he's been through a lot, so understandably. But then she does go on to say she does understand that she can't be overbearing. And her mom was kind of the same way. She puts it very simply. She says she was never very nice to me, which we we know what that insinuates, obviously. And again, I don't know.
I guess it doesn't seem like Charlie really knows like any of her story of like when she was a teenager, what her family was really like. She he just knows like how they are now. Doesn't sound like something that she really talks about from her past. I mean, I don't blame her So. But yeah, she says she is genuinely afraid that she's become like her mother.
And Charlie, of course, reassures her that she's not like her mother, which kind of makes me wonder if he he at least has some inkling, especially because of what he sees at Christmas every year with the family. So. But then Jane acknowledges she is quick, quick to anger, which is not fair to to Charlie, not fair to her children. But Charlie comes around and he even says like he knows he's been ill and he just wants to live his life as a normal teenager, especially after
everything he's been through. And she agrees. She says, I know you're sensible. I know you're not a troublemaker. I know you're not going to get in trouble. You're, you know, you don't do stupid things. You're, you're sensible. You know how to take care of yourself. And I and I know that, so I appreciate, I really appreciate hearing her acknowledge that, that he is a sensible kid. So.
Yeah, I agree. And I appreciate from Charlie too that he also apologizes to his mom and acknowledges that he also is quick to anger like these. Like we've said it before, these two are very similar and that's partially why they butt heads because they both have problems with regulating their emotions because of their separate traumas. And they anger immediately.
They both go to anger. So then when they're trying to have a conversation or where they don't agree, it just blows up. So I appreciate that they took the time to be like, I'm like that too. I'm also sorry because you know, in, in this conversation, Jane is admitting like, listen, I wasn't coming from a like a malicious place with you. I was trying to express what I was seeing in like have this discussion and then it blew up
like, so I like that. Charlie also acknowledged his role in like the blow up as well. So it's good that they're just straight up communicating about their own behaviors and not just talking about situational stuff like they've been doing. So I thought this was really important for their mother's son relationship in general, this conversation. This is.
The conversation that they needed to have because like they needed to sit down, talk calmly, not just anger each other, but also listen because that was the one thing they both were not doing. But they were also both not able to communicate why they were doing things. And that was the biggest thing that needed to do come across to both of them. Why are you doing this? Like there has to be a reason and maybe that person doesn't even know why yet, but they need to.
OK, so let me just back up. It's kind of like it's not so much about what you say, but like why you say it. And I made me think of a kid asking their parent for something and they say no. And then the kids like, well, why? And the parents like because I said so. And that's just supposed to be an answer. But the then the parents not thinking, OK, why am I saying no? Is it an actual reasonable request that they're asking me? And I'm just in my head, I think, oh, no, they shouldn't do
that. So now the kids like, oh, well, they're just trying to control me. The parents like, oh, this kid is now just trying to defy me and they're not communicating why they both feel like that. So that's Jane and Charlie's biggest issue is that they don't know where each other is coming from. They all they know is that they're not able to get the other person to do what they think they should do. So listening, we've been listening in the scene and great
steps for them. Yeah, communication, which we had talked about last episode, was something they still were struggling with. But hey, it's a process they're taking. They're taking the first step they need, which is great. Yeah. And then like I like that they wrap up this conversation with like both Charlie, even him apologizing, saying I am sorry that I also got angry. But they make a compromise. Jane says, look, I just I am worried about your exams.
I just want to make sure that you don't have to stress about your exams. Those are only three weeks away. That gives you 3 weeks to wait. Can you wait three weeks? Can we can we work with that? And Charlie's like, like, obviously he's not excited about it, but he's like, fine, OK. Like he he meets his mom where she is. He's like, yeah, OK, that's fine. And she says thank you. She says thank you, Charlie, which I love. And then because when he apologizes, she puts her hand on his cheek.
And I think it's really sweet she does that. And she said, you don't need to be sorry. But then she takes his hand. And I swear this is like the first time that isn't like a like, like I think we just saw in episode 5 in winter when she gives him a hug for when she apologizes, but the dad's also there. I think this is like the first moment that we really see her reach out to one of her kids and show like genuine physical affection by taking his hand or just like holding it.
So I thought that was a really big step for her too. And I thought it was really sweet. I, I love this whole interaction because it just really wraps up. I mean, obviously, like they have a long journey ahead of them, but like for the story sake and for this season, it really wraps up that storyline very nicely. So I loved it so much. Yeah, 'cause like they're miscommunication or inability to listen or express themselves, regulate their emotions has been an issue since the first season.
So I agree this is as because this is the point where Charlie's like transitioning from really like adolescence to he's and going to enter his last year of like basically high school soon. He's going to go to college. So this is a very much like he's maturing. And then so I like that they had this in here with his mom because like their mother son relationship will also mature as he matures. So like this is a good thing.
Hint at that to be like they're going to have more of an adult relationship versus like God, mom never gives me what I want. I hate her kind of like adolescent relationship. This is more like see me as a person. Listen to me, mutual respect, which is like the adult, like parent child, not child, but like offspring relationship. So I thought that was really important in general. And it's really sad that you pointed out this the first time.
She's like affectionate torture, like poor Jay, like just like it just Jay breaks. Yeah. I mean, you know that she didn't get that, so she she. Yes. It doesn't come natural to her to do that, so that is a huge growth for her. No, the only form of touch she probably like physical touch she got from her parents was being abused. So I think Julia was probably the only one that she's ever gotten like affection from. And we we don't see it very much
in the show. It's if anything, we've seen it only like so much recent, like in this episode, we see like them hold hands later, we see him kiss her on the cheek that I think that's the most we've seen of them be affectionate with each other even and even then, like trying to separate like this is the physical affection I have for my husband, but still being able to have physical affection in a different way for your kids, for parents, for anything.
So that's like just one specific, I don't even know how to what to call that one specific alleyway of affection. That's a terrible way to describe it, but but you get what I'm saying. Yeah, shit. I. Forgot. What I was saying, I had a whole complete thought in my head. It's not there. It was something about how oh like Jane was trying to be more reserved towards her kids because that fear of being her mom and having it come naturally to her. She didn't want to hurt her
children. So she pulled back more. And now that caused more of the rift in their relationship and not the understanding. And the kids probably don't know the full understanding. They just know that mom and grandma are just. They don't match well together. It just never ends well. Grandma's always on mom's case. She can never do anything right. That's what they see. They don't see the actual abusive part of that relationship and nor should they.
But that is what the moms try to protect them from and unfortunately it affected them also in a negative way. The other thing that I appreciate about this conversation from Jane's side is that she doesn't turn it into a guilt session for Charlie. She, I mean, she brings up that her mother was not nice to her. She doesn't go into this whole spiel about my mother abused me, blah, blah blah. She doesn't try to guilt Charlie into feeling bad for her and try
to make excuses. She just simply says this is what I'm worried that I'm becoming and I'm sorry and I don't want to be that for you and I I appreciate that that's that is where the turn that she took. That is the route she went with this instead of trying to make her son feel bad or whatever people do when. They feel bad for me so you can like see my point of view better. Yeah, I'm just a really broken person, so I'm going to be the way I am instead of change.
Like that's that's kind of what that always that approach always seems to take and and depending on how you approach it, of course, But like, I love that she takes that route of I don't want to be that person. I want to change for you because you deserve better. You deserve to be treated with respect. You deserve to be loved. And yeah, I love, I love that is the route that it took on this because it it could always easily turn into the other way.
So just all around a very, very well written scene, very well executed scene. Just it's very beautifully done, very, very healing for people who have this issue like or struggle with this with their parents. I think so. I think the compromise in the scene is very ironic the timing wise, because for Jane, she's like, can you just wait three weeks to have a sleepover in her head? You know, she's thinking like, I know there's some more and this, this kids like, yeah, I guess I
can wait three weeks. Meanwhile, you literally just did, like, the biggest emotional thing with him, what, an hour beforehand? And you're telling her, I guess I can wait three weeks? Yes, Charlie, you can wait three weeks. I just realized what is up with this theme with three weeks. We had this in episode 1 with Tao and Elle. We have thing three weeks of the summer. We had this with Nick being away. It's usually 2. Yeah, it's usually 2. What the?
Hell, it's usually 2 in this show, because this show is where we got the two, the multiples of two. So it used to be two days, two weeks. Yeah, Season 3 it turned into 3. God, was this on purpose? I wonder if this is on purpose? You know what? Knowing them, I don't. I don't. I don't even. Everything's on purpose. I don't want to say no, it wasn't on purpose, because it might have been. With that, all right.
But before we continue this episode, we have to interrupt you this to bring you a few brief shout outs from our Chaos crew over on Patreon. So before we get into that, we want you all to know how much we love and appreciate you theor's
hearts. When immediately this time, that's how much we love you yes, so our chaos crew members on the big Gay writer died here and above as of filming are Angela, Natalia, Jill L, Regina B, Monet F, Shy, Isla, Madison, Amex, Newmanzone, under score multi, Kate VM and Dana W. Thank you for supporting us and making this list longer so I don't get to breathe in between. Thanks for trying to kill Caitlyn with your support everyone. Not your intention, we assume. Oh my gosh.
Anyway, I'm not even going to go there. And our featured Big Gay supporter members for this episode are Vicki, Rachel C, and SLS. Thank you that all of you love each and everyone of you, whether you're a Patreon member or just listening to us, supporting us in any way possible. Come join our Discord, talk to all of us. We enjoy talking to you so much. There's so many people in our Discord who love having conversations about all the
different types of media. It's a great time, but thank you for being here. Yes, thank you. All right, so then we're back at school and Charlie, oh, we're getting back into the episode by the way, we're done with the shout outs. OK, so now we're back at school and Charlie gets to study hall and sits at a table with Isaac and Tao because they're allowed to sit anywhere finally. And he has this big ass grin on his face.
And like, if you look at Tao and Isaac, Tao is just like sizing up Charlie. Like what what is going on with you? Like something, something's weird here. You're too happy. This isn't you right now. There's there's been a lot of sadness, but we're very happy right now. Meanwhile, Isaac's like they had sex. Got it. Like, immediately. Isaac's like, got it. Yeah. Mm, hmm. Yeah, That's the power of reading novels. And he's like, I see all the subtext. That's what happened.
But it I love that the irony that it takes Tau the boy has already had sex a while to figure out what happened, but. Isaac immediately just that and that shows that experience isn't everything right? That's great. But then it's really cute because they both start freaking out that it finally happened and they're just being typical teenagers and it's really cute and I love them.
I love the friendship. And then there is a montage of life continuing, Charlie studying hard and taking the GCS ES. He's also practicing with Sahara's band so that's that's exciting for him. Meanwhile, Nick is still pondering his uni choices. Unfortunately, it's a it's a long process. It's really annoying. Nick and Charlie and are still almost getting caught by Olivia Coleman.
I mean, she would have in on them if she was in the season and she was like, it's their thing of being walked in on so. Only a matter of time. Yeah. Oh yeah, It would have been so much worse if it was like or no, not worse, but like funnier if like one of these, one of those scenes if she just walked in and just like was like surprise and like, like they were going to have her come in just for one second. Yes. Yeah, no one was going to know that'd.
Be amazing what happened. Was that's Pete 'cause she comes in with a laundry basket and just like, oh, here's Nick, here's your clothes. I'm not fun. You too. Bye. Imagine if they did that. This is all hypothetical and this is just a scenario. That'd be really funny. Somebody write this fan fiction for me. Please. Imagine if they did that and they didn't tell Joe and Ken it was happening. Oh my God, that would be so. Funny, OK, else that would be
oh, that'd be so damn fun. I love that. I just I love the idea of just like because I think it happened in the comics too, where they're like being all lovey dovey and she walks in. She's like, Nick, can I do anything with your laundry? She he's like, no mom, get out. I don't think he actually tells her to get. Out. OK boys, stay safe. Love you. Oh my God, love you both. I miss you, Olivia Cole. I. Do miss you, legend that you are?
Please come back I want to see him with her and tell me the at will so. OK, Yeah, no, again, those two. And then they need to, they need to talk to Jane. They need a conversation. Yes, they need a ladies lunch like a day out. Yeah, where they can, like, ease Jane's fears and worries and trauma. Haley probably could do that a lot more.
OK, so then Tara and Imogen are packing up Nick's car to go on the road trip to visit universities, while Nick is saying goodbye to Charlie. Of course, Imogen packed way too much, because that's just her thing at this point. She brings the fun, and by fun it means trying to fit in more luggage in the car than actually can fit. And she's like, hey, I did ditch one bag at late, like for makeup or whatever. So like, this was one bag less than what she wanted. Skin care routine.
Yeah. She's like I had to sacrifice my skin care routine. Oh no. The heart image and the heart. Explains a lot of how flawless her skin is, but OK she doesn't even. Just that's naturally, she just pretends to use it all anyway. So Charlie wants to make sure that Nick is going to be back in time. So he's like, we go on here. Are you going to be back in time? And Nick's like I, we will be there.
We will be there, but in a way, this is going to be in the back of Nick's mind now because if he does decide to attend a different school, he's like, Oh well, can I get to Charlie in time? If there is an event like this? And now especially that, you know what happens later in the episode? He's like, like, there's no way I have to be as close as possible because traffic. Yeah, and I think Charlie is doing sub subtext subliminal messaging with his wardrobe because he's wearing the
University of Kent colors. So I think he's trying to plant seeds subconsciously to Nick. I never would have, is Charlie. That manipulative. I never would have caught that and now it makes me need to go back and rewatch the entirety of this show and just focus on the costuming. That is the Auras trademark, because I don't do that. I don't even know what they're wearing. Dior will point it out, though. So that's why.
Yeah. Thank you, C. Gonna have to make a note of that for future things too for sure. All right, Speaking of the future, so we go on the Tour de la campuses or whatever, and the first stop is the University of Kent, because it is, it is the actual closes. And they comment it's 50 minutes from Nick's house. So it's like they're like, bye, Charlie, and we're here. So we get to actually see it. Yeah. So honestly, like, it's a cute
looking school. I mean, the website does not actually do it justice because again, the websites we saw were Nick's feelings, not the actual school. So the school's actually pretty cute, but it doesn't seem to click with anybody on tour, including Nick. Also none of these schools websites were real or the colors apparently. I was looking them up. I'm like. It's made-up. Listen to their. Colors. It's made-up anyway. It's for the show.
Yeah. When they get there and they're just staring at the school, none of them look excited. It's like they were visiting. Here for Nick and they're like, it's 15 minutes away. Yeah, you could have done this at any point. Yeah, exactly. And then they in the car ride to the next school, they literally have this conversation to your point where it's not what anybody wanted. Imogen's like, I want to get out of room and experience something new.
And I was like, yeah, I need something with more of a queer scene because I need to be with my people and I'm not going to find that 15 minutes from my parents house, basically. And when she makes that comment, Imogen's like happiness kind of like goes away and she gets all offensive and shit.
So Imogen's a thinking. About that one, it's very likely that a lot of the people that they went to school with are going to go to that university too, because that that does happen a lot where a lot of your high school classmates go to the same, like more local college. I mean, it makes sense. It's like usually it's much more affordable, especially for housing. It's so much more affordable because college is expensive. We would, we all would know.
The three of us would know, especially if you're right. Yeah, and like Nick comments that too. When I go to the dorms, he's like, no, I'm going to be living at home. This is 15 minutes. So like that's I got another experience that like is robbed from you if like you can't live on campus or if you choose not to. So like already like the experiences like are limited by going to the school with the one perk being as close to Charlie. So it's anyway, it's not
clicking with anybody. And as they're driving, like the girls comment why they don't want to go. But then Tara's like, Hey, Nick, what? What did you like about that school? Like what about Kent? And his answers immediately are all about other people. He's like, well, it's good for mom because I'll be home and good for Charlie. Nothing about Nick. There's other people immediately. And then Elle asks, OK, Nick, that's great for one year, but what happens when Charlie goes
to university in a year? What if he decides to go to Oxford or some shit? Now you're at Kent because why? And it's just crickets. Nick has no answer for that whatsoever. Yeah, I mean, I don't even think Nick has thought of hold on. Like, OK, so with their their relationship, I don't even think Charlie has even thought about like what would happen next year because he's just focusing on trying to get through each day. It they definitely should have
both had a conversation. Just sit down and be like, Hey, where do we want to go? If we want to stay together? Where would we? Because like, now, if Nick's going to stay at Kent doesn't isn't Charlie obligated to then or is Charlie just going to be selfish and then leave and then Nick's going to be like, well, what the hell? So like, that's a whole big thing that people do face when they have relationships from high school going into college.
But they really, they really should have been like, all right, So what are your future goals? What are my future goals? But they're just so focused on that we can be together forever. Everything's going to be perfect. Everything will work out that they don't actually have to think about what the hell do you actually want. Yeah, I feel like if Charlie didn't have this huge mental health crisis that where like he could fall apart at any moment, then I think they would have had
these conversations. Like, to your point, I think it's Nick's afraid to bring this up because he's like, what if this sends Charlie into a mental health spiral? I think he's worried about that, too. And then also, like, we'll get into Nick later, but Nick doesn't know who he is, and he's freaking out and doesn't know how to communicate it is the other problem.
And remember, Nick's the guy who's like, he's the strong one everybody leans on. So it's hard for Nick to like, I think be vulnerable about this stuff because he's the, you know, the glue in a lot of ways, that kind of person. But yeah, you're right. Like, they, they should have this conversation, but I think they're too scared because when, when Nick brings up the universities in the other scene with Nick and Charlie, did Charlie comment at all?
Charlie didn't say anything. He just got really quiet. So it's kind of on both of them because they're not, neither of them are talking about the elephant in the room, which is that Nick is going to university and that's going to change their relationship regardless of where Nick goes. Like it's going to change things. And I, I don't think they're both, either of them are really ready to talk about that. But it's like the clock is
ticking, you know? I could see Nick kind of going into a spiral, especially when Imogen's like, well, but then Charlie's going to go off to university. Nick, in his mind, be like, well, maybe Charlie will just go to Kent, then we'll be together. But then in his mind, he goes, well, but then I'm holding Charlie back because then Charlie's going to stay there and not go somewhere he wants to go. And then maybe after that, that's when something switches in his mind.
He's like, but then what if that's what I'm doing? Wait, that's like the writer in my brain just thinking like this whole sequence of spiral of whereas brain probably could definitely could go with all of that. So. Oh yeah, for sure, I agree with that. Yeah, to your point of them not having a conversation, it is, it does really, it does make it
harder. And they don't have a conversation this season, which no, definitely leaves such a loose end, which I, I, I'll, I'll get into more when we get closer to the other episode. But like, it's why we need a season 4 in my, in my personal mind, like above all else, us like us wanting a season 4 because, you know, it's hard to stop where we want more. And also just to wrap up the
story that currently exists. It's like it because of this loose end, it there needs to be a new season for that reason specifically in my, in my opinion. So yeah, I agree. There is no resolution for these two right now. Yeah. So ideally that'll get wrapped up when the show, when the show gets renewed, better get renewed. And some people get off their asses and actually do something. Well, hopefully, Hopefully we'll know more when there's an announcement date for Volume 6 publication.
Hopefully we'll know more by then. Yeah, we still don't have that either. Yeah, it's still in progress, so. Yeah, so Speaking of in progress, we're still on our Tour de campuses, so Next up is Oxford. But before we actually check out the school, it's night time by the time they get there. So the gang is kind of like resting for the evening in their little rooms. And Imogen and Nick are sharing a room and they have a heart to heart where Imogen explains the comp head of it all basically.
And in the summer of their conversation is that she, quote, liked Nick in the past because she felt pressured basically into having a boyfriend because she, quote, wanted to be a cool girl. So it's like that whole like, oh, you're a girl. You should have what? You can't be friends with boys. You have to want to date them. And so like Imogen, I was trying to be friends with Nick. And then I was like, what? All the girls pair off with boys. I should like him.
I'll force myself to like him. And I think specifically, if you notice the boy she picked at least in season 1 to like quote, date and was never happy with, she picked like Nick and Ben. And if you think about them, they're visually the apex of masculinity at that school. And they're perceived as these
masculine men by their peers. So like, by attaching yourself to them, it's like the most compact pairing you could hide behind basically is by picking somebody like Ben or Nick, Nick the rugby star, you know what I mean? Like they're very like perceived as masculine. And she mentions that like the IT wasn't that she liked the
boys like that. It was that it was the attention, that male attention that was giving her validation as a woman because a quote made her feel important, which again, that's the the comp had indoctrination of women is that your only value is male attention. Male. You're striving to get their approval, right? And like she very much was.
We don't know her background, but just seems like she was raised to believe this and it was reinforced perhaps by the quote, cool girl she was hanging out with. And usually quote, the cool girls are the ones upholding this misogynistic structure we live in. And so because she was conditioned to behave this way, she even says like, quote, by doing this, I was doing life right, which again, that's the indoctrination speaking.
But despite all of that, Imogen expresses to Nick that she couldn't force herself to like any of this stuff that she was doing. She's like, I never liked them, these boys, despite pretending like I did. And she admits like she hasn't liked any boys, which like is probably the first time she's ever vocalized really any of
this to anybody. And like I'm proud of her for coming to that conclusion and being like when I really ref she like she clearly really reflected on her life and was like, wow, if I'm really looking at all this stuff, like I didn't want any of this. I never had feelings for any of these boys. I was just taking the script of life that I was supposed to live to quote, do it right? And I was doing it and it's not me. Like basically she comes to that conclusion.
But like this is part especially the I've never liked a boy with the line delivery of this was just absolutely perfect. Just this whole scene is amazing and so much growth and just like the perfect arc for her. The line delivery of this like her voice is like so breathy and it's the first time in this conversation that it becomes like that. Like you can tell that there's so much weight on it and that this is so she is taking off so much off her shoulders just by
saying this line. Like now someone knows it's not, it's not just her sitting on these thoughts like she can finally tell someone else and have them know her truth. And she's not even like knowing how she feels in the beginning. I think she's processing a lot of this as she's talking to Nick because Nick has been a safe person for her this whole time
in multiple ways. Like, so for her to be able to just keep talking and like, Oh my gosh, wait a minute, I don't think I actually liked any of you. And she's just feeling lost. And I just, I'm so glad we got more of the I'm an Ally Imogen arc. Yeah, I think this was important because, again, I've seen, you know, people talk about Imogen on social media and they're like, wow, Imogen's really annoying and I don't like Imogen. And it's like, well, here's why.
Her life was fake. She was living. She was trying to be so hard, trying to be something she's not because she was indoctrinated to do so. And like, here she is having this this very real conversation where she's like, my life's been a lie and I've been performing and I don't want to perform. It doesn't make me happy. I just thought this was quote, how you do life. So yeah, of course she's going to come off as annoying. She's trying too hard to put herself in this box.
She doesn't. Fit in and she makes a comment that her year 10 boyfriend too so she's had someone every single year but she can't she doesn't keep that because she's like I don't like you. There's something. Well, first of all, she doesn't pick the right one is either, but she doesn't like them so yeah, there's a new one. Just someone else to make her look normal. Well, she's chasing the attention and from the boy and then she's like, but even that has its limits to how happy
that. And that's that is the cycle of this indoctrination that women are taught to believe that it's like chase male attention. But it's like that's never going to make you like fulfill you for it's it's fleeting. It's not going to sustain your happiness for the long run. So like, yeah, Imogen keeps jumping to new boys that show her attention, that validate what she's doing. But like, did you see Ben? Ben was dismissed.
He was like, I don't really. He didn't like her either because he was doing the same thing. He's like, you're my beard. Like this was mutual. And like Imogen didn't realize that's why she was with him, but he knew that's why he was with her. And like, he was just like, I don't actually like you as a person. I just like the comp pet bearding that we're doing. And so when his attention wasn't positive, that's when she's like, I don't think I like this.
It's just all about the attention, you know? So, and it's really sad because this is how a lot of women and behave because they're taught this is the way you're supposed to behave. And it just, it shows that it's just like this is miserable, Like you're not trying to like connect with the person you're trying to like fulfill this check this box off that. And she's like the checking the box mate didn't never made me happy.
I don't even want this box now that I'm thinking about it and really throughout this whole speech. Sorry. Go ahead. Sorry. I was just to add on to what you're saying, like I think just to keep going with the whole compact concept of that fact that Imogen obviously has always been so fond of Nick as a person cuz Nick's just, he's a wonderful person. And who wouldn't want to be
friends with Nick, obviously. But like, she genuinely has, like she understands now it's a very platonic love that she has her Nick and Nick obviously has like that very same platonic love for Imogen. But I think the whole comp ET ideas, she thinks that that she had thought all this time that that that fondness meant, oh, I like you because he's a boy. She's a girl. As far as she knows, she's straight. So I think it kind of adds on to that whole idea. So yeah.
Yeah, that's a really good point because it's like, yeah, that happens too. It's like the conflating of platonic friendship with romantic love. And sometimes like that, you know, you have to sort that out if it's one sided or free. And that's a very real human experience. So that is also a really, really good point because yeah, and this is Imogen being like all these feelings I thought were romantic were not romantic.
Now that I'm thinking about it, which that happens a lot, you know, when you're young and you're first having these, these feelings like your hormones are going crazy and it's really hard to sort it through when you it's you're experiencing it for the first time. So like this is a really relatable teenage kind of like thing to be like, was that love or like, was it a really intended friendship? Like, or was it something else? You know?
So throughout this speech, though, to back to your point, Caitlyn, you really see this war waging on Imogen's face and not just like you can hear it in her voice, but like the whole time she's like kind of like fighting with herself to like get this through. And it's really evident how she felt on some level force to live this life that just didn't feel right for her. And it never truly made her happy, despite society saying, quote, find the right boy and
then you'll be happy. That's why like she one boyfriend after another and like still the happiness never came. So it's almost like that's not what she needs. And at the end she asks Nick, who even am I? And really, I think this is the scariest part of deconstructing long held beliefs in general. It's The Who am I without these rules that I'm supposed to follow?
Who am I? And Nick responds, you're my friend, which reinsures an imaging that she's not alone while she goes on this journey of figuring out who she is and what she wants, which is so important because I feel like she felt alone for a really long time. Hence, like we had the scene of her in the closet by herself and like performing. And I think this is a good reminder to Imogen. Like, like that it's OK. Like Nick went through this when he's like, am I gay 62%?
What does that mean? And you know, he had his friends to get him through that. And it's like, Hey, Imogen, like that's what being a friend is, is like holding your hand or being a shoulder to Leonard, whatever you want or need while you figure this out, because it's, it's normal not to know who you are, but it is really scary when you're like, I thought I had this plan. I thought I knew I and then you don't. It does that.
It feels like free falling. So kudos to this performance because it, this was one of my favorite performances in in the in the season. Just I needed this from Imogen and it was so. Because Imogen is not a character from the books. The novels like Imogen is a purely show character and just wow the depth we got with Imogen, incredible. So basically, Ria Norwood needs all the Emmys this season. Oh my God. Oh, you're muted, Caitlin. That's bullshit.
I don't remember what I said. Now, Oh my God, all I. Know is she's amazing. We really don't, but sorry. Who cares anymore? No. Can I give my big energy award now? Oh yeah, do it, do it. Imogen, I mean, she just, she just gets it because she's grown so much. She's realized so much. She's told somebody. She's living her truth. Soon, she's acknowledging her truth. Yeah, Season 4 Season 4 season. Four or Emma Jean, Emma Jean in college. Could you imagine she would score so hard?
Anyway, Speaking of colleges. So the gang the next day goes on the Oxford tour and now I'm having residual feelings from RF Kwong's Babble. And if you've never read that, you should read it. But just be prepared to have your heart ripped out because it takes place at Oxford and just Oh my God. Anyway, the summary of this tour is that Oxford is tatara what Kent is to Nick. Great school, looks cool, not what she wants. Yeah, probably great for somebody, but right.
Not what she wanted. I love how brutally honest she is when Nick asks what she thinks. She's just, I kind of hate it. So it's like that line by itself is funny. Like just on its own, but like when you just look at the context of every, everything that we've seen Tara deal with mentally, just like the pressure of everything, she's come so full circle just to be able to say, I don't like this, I don't want it.
You know what? Because obviously the idea is, Oh my God, you got into Oxford. Oh my God, you're going to Oxford. That's so amazing. That's so like you're so successful, which for some people like absolutely, more power to you. If that is like your success story, more power to you. Absolutely. But again, it's a great school, but it doesn't have to be great. For Tara. So yeah, precisely. So after after the tour of Oxford, the gang takes a little break to debrief and I assume
have lunch or something. Oh, they're like picnicking by a lake. And it's really cute. And Tara explains that like, she's like, look, I just don't want to be in heavy academia, which is basically what Oxford is, hence babbled by RF Quad. And she's basically at a loss of like, what to do because it seems like, you know, that was the trajectory she was on and what people wanted for her. This is like Imogen, people were like, hey, you're a prefect.
You're all these things. You're the person that would get into Oxford. You should probably keep going because you've got all the grades. And she's like, I don't want this, but I don't know what I want. And so then the conversation transitions to like, well, what about a gap year? Like, just take a break because I feel like Tara's on the road to burnout. So, like, not a bad suggestion. And that's what Darcy's doing. Because Darcy's like, fuck school. Darcy's the free spirit.
She's got to go figure out her carpentry or whatever the hell that niche thing is that she's good at, according to Kizzy. So. Oh, yeah. By the way, we interviewed Kizzy. Check out that interview to learn more about Darcy. And Tara's like kind of considers the gap here. Honestly, I think she needs a break. But then they're like, Nick, what about you? And, and for the first time in all of this season, Nick actually expresses what he wants from school.
And he's like, no, I really, I really want the full uni experience. And that's the strongest opinion we've ever gotten from Nick about university. That's about Nick. So finally he's like got opinions and he's expressing them, which is so good. But then of course we don't stay in uni land and L completely one 80's. The conversation is like, hey Nick, I found out from Tao that you and Charlie have been doing it. And the girls are like, wait a
minute Nick, what the hell? And everything's like every detail, all of it. Tell me the step by step, the play by play. But Nick is a gentleman and does not kiss and tell, so he refuses to indulge them on this. But it's but they're like, listen, Nick, you're not off the hook. We have to be good friends. And instead of talking about every sort of detail, they take him to the pharmacy as a rite of passage to buy condoms and Lube.
Because safe sets practices are important, just like supportive friends. So I, I watched somebody YouTube react to this and he made a comment about what does this look like to anybody on the outside? What on earth does this look like to this poor pharmacist just trying to do his job? Think about it. This this one teenage boy comes in and purchases condoms and Lube with three girls who are all grinning and smirking and they're like forceful forcing him to buy this stuff.
Like what? Is that? Thing that comes to your head with this. It didn't come to my head until. No, said this, every time I watch it, I always think of this, but then the best part is when he's like, I hate you guys. So like, you know, like seriously, what did the pharmacist think was happening? Because like, the first assumption is like, orgy, and then Nick's like, I hate all of you. And it's like prank. Like, who is this for?
Like yeah, that's really weird. After he says that the wild guess is probably oh OK this is just them being like trying to embarrass their friend whatever and all just being funny. But then I don't know how much does this pharmacist hear? But also like this is this pharmacist job. He probably has encountered this so many times. It's, you know, he probably is like, whatever, they're teenagers, whatever. Whatever. Yeah, exactly. You're the right age for this area. Get on my.
If anything, he's probably like, well, at least you're buying the stuff for it to be safe. You know what? That's fine. As a pharmacist, that is exactly. My thought process? At least you're buying this. At least you're being careful. Good for you. Yes, but. Yeah, just like. Oh God. Yeah. Anyway, moving on, we go back to Charlie and and the rest of the, well, most of the rest of the gang. We've got Charlie and Queer Intentions is the band name, by the way, Love that band name.
Amazing. They're having a practice session, a jam session for the summer Fate, and yeah, they kind of run through one of their songs and then they have like a little break where they chat about it and then, yeah, it's really, it's a really cute little scene. It is, and I love the way it's like the classic teenagers with a band playing in the basement. The way it like, it's just like,
you know. What I mean, where it's like go in the garage and like play, it's kind of what they're doing, which is I love the how cute that is. They're in somebody's house just doing their little band practice. It's adorable. Yeah, kind of reminded me of Freaky Friday a little bit. That's what I was to say. That's the only reference they have right now. Or on the top of my head. Yeah. I'm like, that's the only thing I remember that's has stuck with me this long.
It's Freaky Friday. I mean, just because Take Me Away is a. It fucking slaps. It's such a good slap. Yeah. So. Yeah. And then in typical Charlie fashion, when they finish the song, he's like, was that OK? I think I messed up the chorus or whatever he says and saw me. It was just like, it was great. It was great, Charlie. Like, almost like in a very kind way. Shut up, Charlie. You're good. Yeah. Yeah, she's like, it was great. It was fine.
And I love. So Charlie goes over and sits with Isaac, and Isaac's like giving him a pep talk, like, you're going to be great. Charlie goes over and gives him a hug. And this whole exchange, this whole little exchange between them, Tao's like, excuse me, where's my hug? And Charlie, come here then you idiot, like you want to hug, Come, come hug me. And just this whole little silly exchange they have.
It's it's just so sweet because once again, it's like completely saying fuck toxic masculinity, like the whole just them loving each other so openly and freely. Charlie Tau Tau. Lunging on top, like laying on top of them. Not just like hugging them. He's like laying on them. Yeah, like it's. It's so Tau, but it's still like so, so like, I love you. My love language is tackling my friends Indeed. I mean, same.
I love Charlie saying I just don't think I tell you enough how important you are to me. And I think that that that's so wonderful to hear, especially from Charlie, because Charlie's been so stuck in his own head, understandably, from the stuff that he's been struggling with, his mental health, everything. And I'm so proud of him that he he is acknowledging the people
around him. And he addresses it later in his session with Jeff again, like he understands that he does need other people, not just Nick. And he is saying here like he acknowledges everything that Isaac and Tal have done. He even says, like to Tao about the short film he made. Tao, of course, is like, oh, it wasn't my best work. Tao, it was your very first thing, your very first project. Cut yourself a break. Oh my God. But like he says, yeah, I still watch it sometimes because Tao's
thinking it's not that good. But Charlie's like, well, but it means so much to me. So I think that that's really sweet, that the whole exchange is just really sweet and friends just being like friends, just loving each other, like genuinely just my favorite thing. And and Charlie just coming full circle and acknowledging the people who have helped him so that we see more later. Yeah. And so moving on, we go to they start to practice again. And Tao's like, so Sahar, what
is this song about? And I think is it? Is it? He's the one who says like, oh, I thought this song was about Imogen. So her gets like initially she dodges the question and she gets like really defensive. She says, look, just because we kissed doesn't mean we found the one. I mean, that's fair. That is that is valid. But eventually she does in fact confess it is about Imogen, but it doesn't mean anything about her and Imogen getting together, which again, fair. You can.
You can take real life and create art with it. It it can be inspiration. It's fine. Maybe this is her outlet. For. Exactly, Tara. Tara would have proved that she would. Yeah. It's a perfect example of like art can come art. Art imitates life. I mean, that's the whole thing. Art imitates life and and you can use experiences that maybe didn't go anywhere in the end. Obviously, we would love for this to actually go somewhere with these two, you know?
But Sahara's using it as an outlet, her creative outlet to kind of unpack whatever emotional confusion she's dealing with with all this. Like, does Imogen like me? Are we actually supposed to be a thing? I don't know, man. Imogen's figuring her own shit out. I have no idea. So Yep, and then they go back to practicing and we go back to the UNI squad. We kind of are alternating in between Charlie's life and the universities.
So now we're on to the honorary leads and I immediately the not that any of the other universities weren't like welcoming, but Will, who is the name? That's the name of the student ambassador who comes up and is giving them the tour full of enthusiasm, so warm and welcoming, obviously like so proud of the university that they're a part of. So and the other is like as they're walking, they I think it's imagery that makes the comment that it's too Gray, but I think it's Elle.
It's like, but I think Nick's loving it. So. And you can see like as you're walking, as they're walking, there's like Pride flags. There's like even think, I think Will's even wearing a like the pride. Yeah, the lanyard's like a pride flag. So obviously he either, he's either like an ally, which we find out later, like he is part of the LGBTQ plus community. Assuming he's pronounced he, we
don't even know their pronouns. So Tara, when they go into the gym, she's actually the one who mentions that Nick plays rugby, which I thought was a very interesting choice writer wise to have Tara be the one to bring it up. It makes perfect sense. Honestly, Nick is probably so
overwhelmed by everything. I think I can kind of understand this because I'm like this sometimes when I'm, I don't know if you guys can relate, but like being in a new environment, there's like this whole I get very quiet and like I always got this comment when I would start a new grade or when I first went off to college. People said I was so quiet all the time, which if you know me, I'm not a quiet bitch. I'm a loud ass bitch so. No, I get that. I get that way too. I'm observing.
I got to observe and figure out what's going on. But also like your surroundings. You take it in the surroundings, which totally Nick is absolutely doing that. But I wonder if there's a small part of him who's like, I shouldn't like this as much as I do. Yeah, that too. Honestly, he's like, Oh no, because obviously he has an inkling for how far this place is away from home because he had to do all the driving. So he knows. Oh no, this is this is not Kent.
This is somewhere I I wonder if in his mind he was like, what, what was his thought process when they were picking these universities like Oxford? Obviously they were thinking this is for Tara because everybody is going to go to Oxford. But I say where, where do we see? We see Kent, we see Oxford and we see Leeds. We don't really know if there's
other universities. I don't remember if there's more in the comics, but I know it's like the three that we see in the show that they really tackle. I assumed there was more because Eugene doesn't seem into any of these and the other does. Elle so I. Feel like Elle just went along because she's also looking at unis but like she knew that she already wanted to go somewhere else. Yeah, I could see Elle finding
finding. I could see Elle getting good references via Lambert, like via her professor, like getting really good references to other places that are really good with like a focus in art. I could see that being her, her, her deal. But yeah, Imogen, I don't know. Imogen did go for the the road trip and to not be left out. Yeah, FOMO of it all. That's also fair. I mean Rd. trips. I mean, this is me Speaking of the Midwesterner. Rd. trips can be really fun,
which I don't. I forgot to write this down. Originally they were talking about the snacks and I'm like, like road trip snacks. When they were leaving for university, the university trip, I think I saw in the captions they're like, all right, is it too early to break open the snacks? No, it's never too early to break open snacks. I was like, that was me. And every road trip was like snacks. I brought snacks, I want snacks now. We've been in this car for 5 minutes and I want snacks.
But anyway. But yeah, so, Oh my gosh, where the hell was I going with this spiel anyway? The fact that Nick obviously like is going through this whole internal like war with himself of like, I shouldn't to your point, Theora, I should not like this because this is not KED. This is not close to home. So and when they, I think it just keeps doubling down when they go out to the rugby pitch.
And here's where we see, we we hear Nick say he'd like to continue on with rugby at uni, which I think this is probably one of the first points that we really hear Nick say what he wants to do at the other universities. He couldn't even figure out what he wanted to do for his major. And now he like Will was asking him what do you want to do here? And he's like, I think I might want to study. What is it, psychology and, like, physical education or something? Something like that.
Yeah. Yeah. Sports. Oh, my God. Nick would be so good at sports medicine. Holy cow. He was a perfect sports medicine instructor, especially for young kids. Oh, man. Yeah. And Tara would be like, the dance instructor who would work alongside him with the physical therapy. Oh, my God. I could see it. Somebody write that anyway, so you can see. Yeah. You could see Nick, like, really starting to get an idea of what he wants to do.
And I think a lot of it is just clicking because he's here and I think that it's always a good sign. It's obviously not like the end all be all, what is your university to go to, But like it is a good sign that you go to a place and you feel inspired. That's always like a really good first impression of a place is when it makes you feel inspired. So yeah, they go out to the rugby pitch and he immediately feels, you could tell he feels at home so.
Yeah, and then his big light bulb moment is when Wills like, oh, my partner plays rugby and then like waves to his boy or their boyfriend and the boyfriend waves back and that's Nicks light bulb moment. Like the camera just like zooms in and lingers on Nicks face. That's when it clicks. He's like, I think that's when he's really like, I actually can see myself here because I do see people just like me because it goes back to what Elle said. I need my people.
And like Nick's people are here and he's seeing himself in the people that attend the school, which I think is the biggest. Like this is where this is for me a moment for Nick. It's just that's why like representation matters. He sees himself at the school literally because there's people like him here. The community's there, Yeah. Just also just a little detail at the very end of this little sequence, the moment where the partner, we find out his name is
Josh, Josh waves back. The other boys come over and tackle them, like start teasing them, you know, kind of like typical boyish energy. And it reminded me so heavily of the rugby boys at Truom that Nick deals with specifically like Harry's troupe. And this is kind of like the energy that I think I would feel like Nick would wish. That he had. Because obviously like there's no like with Harry homophobia, there's no like making fun of him because oh, he's gay or whatever, like that.
This is like pure teasing of like, hey, it's your boyfriend, hey man, or whatever, his partner. And it's just really sweet and party wonders if that's just like, it's like to see that and think this is what Charlie and I should have been experiencing with rugby, but this is, this is real, this is happening here. I wonder if that is a little healing for Nick after everything he and Charlie went through, especially in Season 1 with the rugby boys.
So. I. Wonder if that's a little a little bit of a healing moment for him, even just for a fleeting moment. So. I like to think so. OK, so while there's a road trip happening, Charlie is meeting with Jeff again. And Charlie's going through some growth now, like he's he's having more good days than bad days. And he asked Jeff if they could make his their sessions bi weekly or fortnightly I guess in this case. And Jeff looks so impressed and
proud of him for asking this. Like, it's like watching his baby birds start to be ready to leave the nest. It's just he's so sweet and supportive. But this is such a huge step for Charlie because it means that he doesn't feel like he needs that constant guidance to be able to make it through the day. Yeah. So good job, Charlie. It may not always seem like that, which he does say. He says that there are days where he still has bad days, but they're they're less than they
were. And then Charlie asked Jeff a question that probably goes through everyone's head who has to do with mental issues or struggling mentally. That's probably the better way to put it. And he asked, do you think I will ever get to the point where I don't have any intrusive thoughts or anything? And this, this whole scene is quite interesting. All the scenes in Jeff's office are interesting. It has it's because of the light.
So the main light source is the natural light coming in through the windows on the one side. And it makes it so when there's close up shots, the the face, the faces are lit more so you can see all of them and where the wider shots have more shadows to them. And it's feels like a darker room, a dark, darker atmosphere. And usually when you cut close to the subject in editing, you're trying to connect with the subject more and really feel what they're feeling.
But in this scene, they use the wider shots when like making you connect with Charlie because those that's him voicing his darker thoughts and feelings. Like I still have these, this darkness inside of me that like, will it ever go away? And that's when they're using this wide shot to show the shadow that is still creeping in on him and it is there.
But then they go back to the closer up shots to show that there is the light, there is the hope still inside of him that balances out that darkness because he does explain to Jeff what he's learned and like what he knows that he's doing that he needs to change or work on to continue to get better. And that's showing so much growth in his progress of learning how to cope from day-to-day. And yeah, so that's all I have for that scene. But it's a it's very interesting the way.
And I just, I'm very proud of him. And then I'm sorry, my dog is, I'm sorry. Fucking why? That's a trash can. Yeah, my favorite thing I think I love about this scene with Charlie's whole like, I don't know if I want to call his whole monologue that he has, for lack of a better term, as like writing terms. The whole monologue he has about like, just because I have discovered I really need people other than Nick, it does not mean I don't need Nick.
It doesn't mean that Nick and I are not strong in our relationship. It just shows how community is so important to me. And in fact, it makes my relationship with Nick stronger. And I think that that's such a beautiful statement. And I love that that that is like taken from the comics, but it's from a different part of the story. And I love that they have incorporated it here into Charlie actually saying it out
loud. I think it was just so beautifully done so. This whole show is beautifully done, everything is just so tasteful. Yeah, I love some of the patterns that they have with being able to incorporate parts of the comics that you wouldn't. It's it's so subtle sometimes you wouldn't know those from the comics if you never read them. Like you would have no idea. You just think it's oh, it's part of the show. It's very well done. So I love, I love how smoothly
incorporated they are. So they just do really good with the show. That's basically what I'm saying. What I what I keep saying every single second is it's just so well.
Done every episode that's that's because it has to be said because so much work is put into it and it can you can tell the passion behind it. Speaking of passion, Nick is now in his hotel room alone looking going from looking at Elise brochure to a photo of Charlie and Nelly on his phone lock screen and you can see that both of these things are making Nick happy until he decides to spoil it all and look up how far Leeds is from Charlie. So it's 4 hours and 27 minutes,
which, OK, granted that length of time you're not going to be able to see each other every week, but it's not terrible. That could be so much worse. Like that's that's a normal driving trip. In America, in America, that's the key. In America, that's like forever away to somebody who lives in England. Yeah, that's literally across the country for the Yeah, yeah, so. Apparently 1/2 hours is long. That's a long drive for me. I don't want to be in the car
for 4 1/2 hours either. Yeah, that's just one way too. Like that's a long. Time one way, yeah. You have to be like at least staying for a few days if not more if I'm if you want me to want me to go that far. I'm not saying do it for one day, hell no I won't do that. I don't know. Won't even drive to Jersey to stay for unless it's like a whole weekend. Yeah, but not just valid. Yeah. But like, technology exists too, it's. True, it really does. But I mean.
I wonder if, OK, so Nick's whole thing is like, what if Charlie needs me and I have to get there? How would I get there? I wonder if like him and Minorca is on his brain where like, yeah, technology existed and they were like communicating and stuff when he had cell phone service, but like he couldn't get the Charlie. He could only call him. And it when Charlie was having his mental health spiral, it wasn't sufficient position for Nick to be on the phone with him.
So I wonder if like, that's on his mind. Cuz your points are back. With. Caitlin, like, probably, yeah, at least it's definitely at least part of it. Yeah. You know, the other thing is like, apparently it's shorter by train to get there, which I just like to be a little. Yeah, the detail on the Google Maps that I saw or whatever maps they're using, apparently there's there's no way of flying there. I saw there's no flight, it's three days to walk, which I thought was funny, but just
noticed that. Cool. All right, You want to take a three day hike? Hell yeah. It is like 3 hours and 48 minutes I think is what it said via train, which I was like train ride wouldn't be terrible. I think even in like later in the comics there is like the whole Oh yeah, they do take a train at some point. But I mean, you could just play on your Switch for 3 1/2 hours or watch or whatever, something, Yeah, do something. You wouldn't have to drive, do you? Have photos of Charlie the whole
time. Exactly. I mean, there there is. The downside is you don't have like you have to be there at a certain time. You have to catch your train, You have to like buy tickets, but like you don't have to pay for gas. However, you will not have a car when you get to your destination necessarily. So like there, there is that control of how to get places that you would lose by not driving. I I mean, I get it as somebody who no longer has a car. I get that that is a stress
factor. And like I have to think whenever I travel anywhere now, I have to think about that as how do I get around if I'm going to just be flying or taking the subway? Like if I'm taking the subway somewhere, how do I have to walk the rest of the way? Like that's something I have to take into account now without having a vehicle. So I get it. So that's that's kind of the here there are like decisions you'd have to make with the taking a train. Hi, Brooklyn. Yeah, Brooklyn.
She's sorry. She's she's a pirate. Are you her captain? Everybody listening, Brooklyn's on my shoulder. Oh. For now, Kayla, don't drop the dog. She's jumped off the balcony before. OK, yeah, but. Still. She's OK, she's fine, she's fine. She's a resilient old lady. She is anyway, not Speaking of resilient old ladies. Nick has a lot of thinking to do. That's what this boils down to. Yes, inside he's a resilient old lady. Yeah. That's the way Olivia Coleman raised him. That's true.
Even though she's not an old lady either. She's just no and a lady no. No, that's just how she raised him to be. In all forms except physical, I am richly and old lady. I mean goals. Back in the car with the girls, Tara brings up that Nick liked leads more than Kent and offers to talk about it with him. Which car rides are their thing now? That's where they can have their conversations. But the difference being now is that other people are in the
car. And when Nick starts saying if I move away it'll hurt Charlie, Elle groans and is like, you're a bit of a people pleaser and you put everyone's feelings above yours. You need to start thinking about you. And like, honestly, he needs to hear this. And Elle might just be the best person to do that because she has been going after what she wants. She is doing this right now with Tao. Like it's OK to think of
yourself. But Nick continues by saying that he's afraid to be away from Charlie because he doesn't know who he is without him. And again, just like the image, and it's a horror thing, Charlie made him realize something pretty big about himself and then has been together with him every day since and has only focused on that. And we've talked about that before.
But that's exactly why he needs to go to Leeds because like, he needs, he needs that separation again, there's other things they could do, like he could go to Kent for a year and then transfer and like make work on that. But have that be the plan so he can make sure that things transfer right or talk to Charlie and all that stuff.
But I think he needs to be away from him or else there will probably come a time where they're just so codependent that they never have experienced life without each other and it leads to resentment and it's just it's not going to be healthy. So they need to, they need some time before to both figure out who they are. Because even beforehand Charlie was in Ben's shadow basically having to hide. So he doesn't really know who he is in life either I feel like.
Charlie kind of went on this journey of figuring out who am I through his like mental health recovery because a lot of when he was really spiraling, even in season 2, the thing that was keeping him together like his Band-Aid was Nick. Like anytime he started to spiral mentally, he's like, I got to go see Nick because Nick makes me feel happy.
Nick is my endorphins. And so like Charlie, I think went through that a little bit like leaning on Nick a little bit too much to like be his source of happiness. And then when he was isolated from everybody and had his phone taken away in like the mental rehab place, he was really forced to go on this journey of like, who am I through that whole recovery process, which we see the result of that in this
episode. Like when Elena pointed out the way Charlie specifically made time to be like, Tao Isaac, my friends, I love you. I don't tell you that enough. That's Charlie being Charlie. That has nothing to do with Nick. That is Charlie being Charlie. And like it took his mental health recovery for him to get here and recognize that his friend. He said it in with Jeff in one of his therapy sessions. He's like, my friendships are just as important.
So like Charlie kind of already went on this journey of like, who is Charlie? And it's Nick that needs to go on the journey of like, who am I now that I know that I'm bisexual, that I figured this stuff out about myself that I have a boyfriend. Like who is Nick? This new version of Nick because it's been Nick and Charlie, not like Nick, you know, and it's Nick is the people pleaser and like he was the supportive boyfriend.
So I feel like it's harder for him to take the step away than it was for Charlie because when he was in the mental hospital, he he had to do it because that was part of the recovery. You know, I'm sure he didn't want to separate himself from Nick. And if he had the choice, he probably wouldn't have. But like, that choice was made for him through that program he was in so. Yeah, we know that that was hard on Nick when Charlie was gone, so. Yeah, that was the first Nick.
Nick being like, who am I without Charlie? Like who do I call? What do I do? Yeah, it was hard. For him, that was like the taster that he got of all of that was like Charlie was gone for what, 3-2 months, right? Two months or something like that? It was it was a few months for sure. Yeah. And he leaned on their now their friends to be like his community while Charlie was gone. But he still felt so lost. And so I wonder part of that that's part of like where he's
scared is he hated. And obviously like a part of that pain that he was feeling was because he was so worried about Charlie because Charlie was having a hard time. But is that where he's worried about feeling that way again because he hated that feeling because he even says being without you was not fun. In that context, it makes sense. But is he going to in his mind, is he going to end up feeling like that all over again when they're.
Separate, it's like Nick also went through a traumatic experience with Charlie and it's like Nick never dealt with the trauma he went through. So it's almost like what Elle saying, the tough love approach that Elle takes in the car, she's like, you got to think about you, Nick, because he hasn't. And I feel like maybe that's
part of the problem. Maybe he does have all this residual like PTSD perhaps in the back of his mind because of what he went through with Charlie and how he felt personally while it was happening. But I don't think Nick ever really acknowledged what he went through. And even Tara was like in that. I think the last episode was like, Nick, you went through stuff too, like, you need to. I don't think he sees that or has dealt with his feelings and what he went through during that
traumatic event. And perhaps that's like haunting him. Maybe in this decision that would cause a separation. That would be his choice. And I feel like that he's just a little haunted by the whole thing. Yeah, and of course he's afraid of talking to Charlie about it because of this whole feeling of Charlie like would at least obviously like season 1 Charlie 100% would be like this. He would say like, Oh my God, it's it's all my fault that you're going through this.
I if I hadn't had this happen, then you wouldn't be dealing with this. And yeah, Charlie would have 100% spiraled. Season 1 Charlie definitely would have, season 2 Charlie probably 2 like and but season 3 Charlie here is like growing a lot. So it it's hard to say. It depends on the situation, depends on the conversation. But yeah, I think that's also part of where he's like, I can't even talk to Charlie about this because what if this happens because he has a history of
thinking everything's my fault. All I do is work people's lives because of just my existence. So and Nick never wants to be the reason for Charlie feeling that. Absolutely. Understandably so. Yeah, it's just really hard to navigate from both of their perspectives. But we can kind of, we got to get the hint already that like Charlie, to your point, Charlie is in a better place now to have this kind of conversation that he would have been previously. But it's like Nick has to also
be ready for the conversation. And so through this journey with the the girls, I think he's he's getting there to the point where like it's the fact that he, you know, his light bulb moment, it leaves, it's it's really hard for him to be in denial about his decision when he was like, wow, I see myself here. You know, it's going to get harder to be in that position. OK, so that's next. So we're going to shoot on back to Charlie, who is in the process of filling out his head
student application. And his reason for why he wants he thinks he would be a good head student is really adorable. He says. I am a hard working and high
achiever. Despite many personal setbacks, I care deeply about the students of Truman want to make the school safer for them, which is and then his response, it's very quickly in the montage, but his response for the one thing he could change is to prevent people from being bullied, which like Charlie would make a really good like head student because of his personal experiences and the strong person he is now that he has all this like life experience.
So it's really cute that those are his, they're very honest responses that he's he's giving. And in the after we kind of get the montage of his application, Charlie starts changing because he's getting ready to go to the carnival or festival and he's in front of the mirror and his anxiety spikes after he takes off his shirt. And we see like the animation of his anxiety, like the big dark cloud that like engulfs him. But Charlie takes a few deep breaths and as he's breathing,
the anxiety starts going away. And like that black cloud starts lightning, it becomes Gray and then it's just some squiggles and then it like goes away. The way he was able to get his anxiety under control so quickly is huge. Like, wow, he just did it while staring at his reflection. That thing he's like that gives him anxiety and just. Wow. Like, that was really, really
amazing. And the fact that he was able to conquer that anxiety before it turned into a panic attack, before it turns into spiraling, it gives him the courage to actually pick out a short sleeve shirt and wear it not just outside, but like to a festival where he's going to get on stage in front of a bunch of strangers. Like, wow, the growth of Charlie when it came to his mental health and his like, body dysmorphia.
Amazing. Especially the fact that Charlie never wear short sleeves because like when the sleeves are short enough, the scar, like his scars are in full view. You can see them very clearly. And I know that's like that's something that he has always. I don't know if I'd say he's been there, he's been ashamed of, but maybe that's part of it is he's ashamed, but also just like it is something that just
reminds him of his past. So it's it's amazing to see that that is now just it's a part of him now, Like his scars are part of him. They are. They don't define him, but they do tell a story of. I've been through this, I've been through hell, but you know what? I'm still here. So the fact that he he opens the door and Tori like Tori's like, are you coming? And he opens the door and he's
like, I'm ready. I don't I don't know if Tori like catches the fact that he he has like his choice of wardrobe. I don't know if she has caught that like his clothes choice or if it's just the the expression on his face, the confidence yes, if it's both, but like you could just see the smile that she has. She looks so proud of him. Which it whichever one it is that she clocks or if it's both things, she she definitely can tell there's a change so Oh yeah, and she's so.
Proud outside of that room and she's like, oh damn, OK. Yep. He's like, I'm about to go on stage. Let's he. It's not. It's not Let's Go Lesbians, but it is. What? It is, it's let's fucking go. That's, that's really he. He is let's fucking go right now. And she's so proud, as she should. Be so yeah, it's really, really sweet. It's a good scene. So Tori, Charlie and their parents go over to the festival and they arrive and this whole
place is so adorable. I I want to go to this festival and so cute looking and true and true to form. Charlie enters and like immediately finds his friends. So he finds Tao, Isaac, Darcy and Zahar. The college crew has not yet arrived yet. So and the clock is ticking for them to get here because again, at minimum it's like 4 1/2 hour drive. So Charlie's like, I'll just text Nick and say it words. He's the driver. I feel you should be texting.
You should probably take somebody else in that car, but they send a text message off to them. Yeah, definitely. It wasn't much smarter idea to have a group chat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think Tara sends. It in the group chat later. When she sends the text. Yeah, yeah, but he he asks the group chat how far away they are, and then Tara responds in the group chat. He says I'm going to text Nick. That's why I was like, oh shit, Charlie, what are you doing? Yeah, it's like, no, no, careful also.
So it's so Nick for Nick to be the one that's driving and not having first of all, like to not have anybody else drive. Like it's such a Nick thing to be like, no, no, I'll do it. It is. I wonder if maybe none of them have their license yet. Who knows? Tara definitely does not does not have a car yet, as far as we know, because she doesn't drive herself to ballet. So yeah, that's part of it is because he's the only one that
can drive. But on that note, we hear Tao like as they're sitting at the table. He says like, you know, I'm actually fine with the fact that Elle is has I haven't seen her in four days because they're giving him shit about like, oh, she's been gone looking at unis for four days. And he's like, I'm actually OK with it. You know, I don't need to be with her every single second. I'm a grown man. Like, you know. You have grown, Tao Tao, I will give you that. You have grown so good for you.
That's. So true. What are they gonna give him shit about now? Like he's conquered his L codependency? What the hell are they gonna tell shit about now? If you where are your scarves and your beanies, that's true. Give. Us, there's a lot of material, your goldfish drawings anyway. Oh my God, the goldfish drawings. I love him so much. Okay, so this group is like sitting down at a picnic table just chilling. And then Michael Holden crashes this gathering by not saying anything.
He just rushes up to them and wedges his way in between Charlie and Isaac on the bench without saying anything. And he call and then he looks at Charlie and goes Charles, which I find really amusing because nobody first names Charlie. But based on Michael's behavior, this is a serious moment and it requires full naming Charlie for some reason. And so we find we find that Michael's upset because he asked Tori to be his girlfriend and now she's avoiding him.
So he's like upset. And then he goes on this whole pirate of just like, fuck society, which is why I love Michael. And he's like, labels are made-up words to describe experiences. And like, I just thought I'd bring it up because I felt like we should have the conversation, but I don't really care about the label. And it's like, yes, Michael, good for you. This is a good man right here. And Charlie's like, OK, OK, OK. This is a lot. He's like, and like, he's teased Tori.
So he's like, I can see that you mean something to Tori because Tori never hangs out with people and wears their clothes. And he's like, OK, hold on, calm down, Sir. I'll go find Tori and talk to her. So Charlie leaves to go find Tori. So Michael has been notorious for being like somebody who does like word vomit when he spirals like this. This is like, this is the second time where he starts like spiraling while he's talking. And I love him for it.
For that too. He's OK, Michael, let me just give that man a hug. Give him all a hug. Seriously. Even if he doesn't need comfort, he's just, he's so precious. He needs a hug. He deserves a hug. So Charlie naturally goes to find his sister and very easily manages to track her down because it's hard to miss her. I know. Because she's the only one at this bright ass colorful festival that's wearing black. Yeah, black. And so it's like, naturally, he finds her, goes up to her, says,
hey, Michael's looking for you. And her expression, you can tell she's like, yeah, I know. That's why I'm hiding. But. Then the timing of Michael, he's like Charlie's like, I'll, I'll handle this. And Michael follows him and then is like 30 yards away and they see him and he just waves. And I'm like, Sir, like he's so cute. I can't even with him. But like poor Tory. She's like, yes, I'm avoiding him. I need to think. And then here he is like, hey. Hello, Michael. Hello. Michael.
I just, I love that it's not a trope, but it's like that bit, the comedy bit of like you're two people obviously talking about somebody and then looking over at them and they just wave. Hey. That's like a comedy bit and I love it. That's true. That's true. Yeah, Tori, of course, seeing Michael kind of freaks out. She goes to grab Charlie, drags
him away. They go over to the Ferris wheel and just kind of cut the casually, if you will, go into this Ferris wheel, have a sit down, go on this ride and Charlie asks Tori about being Michael's girlfriend. She says like, you know, like so you don't want to be Michael's girlfriend. Like I'm confused. And she pretty much just does the same thing that Michael said about labels, like kind of the same tangent of like what? What does girlfriend even mean? And Charlie, we, we we've talked
about this earlier. He says you 2 are having a weird amount of trouble with labels for a straight couple. And Tori's response to this is very different than it was in the comics. And I'm I'm very this is part of why I will write if I don't get a season 4 because we need Tori's full circle story. Just saying, she just says we're
not, we are not a couple. Obviously, those of us who have read Solitaire, first of all, and those of us who have read the comics, we know what's probably in Tory's head right now. Whole different situation than what is on the surface here that Charlie is seeing with her. So yeah, he says a straight couple. And I just go, oh, Charlie, you have no idea. You have no idea what's going on.
I'm so sorry. My favorite part in the comic though, spoiler is when cause like Michael found a straight man and I like when Tori's like Charlie. I'm surprised it took you this long to figure it out. And then we get these little flashbacks of like Michael being like, oh, he's hot. Like Oh my, like that. Just. Like Paul Mescal. Yeah, I wanted those like so funny flashes of scenes with that too. No, I I know. I wish they did get closer to the comics with this. Oh my God. Well.
Yeah, I wanted it too. But I'm pretty sure Alice has said in like interviews that like this, the arc with Tori is what was supposed to be is is supposed to be season 4.
And so this was purposely left open-ended to explore Tori Moore in Season 4. But I was, darn it, I. Wanted it here because it was such a good scene in the comic book with Tori and because it's Tori and Charlie having a conversation about Tori and like to what we said earlier like we need Charlie to be like Tori, what about you?
And it was very much that scene in the in the novel here, it was kind of like clipped to make it open-ended for Season 4, which I do understand from like a writing point of view, but. Like for sure, yeah. But like Charlie and and Tori having a heart to heart about Tori's just very long overdue in my opinion in the show. And so like, I was just like, come on, I really wanted it here. But I understand the decision, like truly I do.
Yeah. I think for Season 4, especially now that we've kind of, I don't want to say full circle, but we've come far enough in Isaac's story of realizing he is asexual and a romantic. Yeah. I really want to see his story tied into Tori's and I think agreed. I, this might be me overthinking it, but later on in the episode, I'll. I can get into it later when we actually get to it, but I feel like there is like a hint insinuating that that might be,
but we'll see. But we'll get into that later. So, yeah, so I'm trying to think what line triggers it, but Tori basically says like, I don't feel anything in like, like kind of regards to like, do you even have feelings for Michael? Oh, because he says he obviously Michael obviously likes you, Tori. He's like, yeah, I know. And he's like, well, how do you feel?
And Tori literally just says I don't feel anything, which is like her trying to dodge the whole like she doesn't know really the answer of like, how do I feel about him? Do I feel romantically? Do I feel this? So it kind of, it kind of makes me wonder where is like in the comics, we know where Tori's at because she says it explicitly, but where is she at in the show with her journey? Because like we're we're hearing her say one thing and we know another thing given what we've read.
But do we know if Tori knows where she's at in this script? Do we know? Does has she figured out that she's asexual or does she even know much about being asexual? Does she know? Like, obviously she knows something's off. She knows something is different about her than what she sees with Nick and Charlie, what people are assuming of her, her and Michael.
Something is different. Something is in in potentially in her mind that there's something's wrong with her, which obviously we know that's not true. But in her mind, she thinks she's like, she's broken. There's something wrong with her. So is it that she's figured out by now that she's asexual? Or is she just to that point where she's like something, there's something about me. I am broken.
I don't feel anything. I, I wish I was more like you, She said she, she wishes she was more like Charlie because he's hopeful, because he tries what she means, tries to love people. And he's like you've been trying like forever for the last year with helping me. He also at some point I just little as I know. I love that she says when he starts like trying to get all like psychological on her, she's like don't use your Jeff crap on me.
Like don't. Use. Your therapy talk on me Sir. I know that's your therapist talking. Nice to know the therapy works. I do like, so that's a really interesting point that you're bringing up is like, where is Tori? Because again, this is Charlie's story.
It's not solitaire, but the line where she's like, you know, where she basically says, I don't feel anything that is very much open to interpretation and knowing that, you know, at this point in the novel, like you said, or the graphic novel spoiler, like Tori straight up says, I am asexual in this
scene. And so that line could be that she's running away from Michael because she doesn't feel what she's supposed to kind of like imaging the story where it's like, I've, I don't feel what I'm supposed to be feeling right now. What? And she's just she's freaking out. So she runs away from my well, so when he asks her, do you want to be my girlfriend? Like she's like, Oh my God. And she runs away because she's like, I don't feel what I'm
supposed to feel. All those, all the songs on the radio lied to me. I'm not feeling this stuff. What is wrong with me? Yeah. So like, does she recognize her own feelings or, you know, is she still deflecting? Or is she just in that phase like Imogen was this season, where Imogen's like, something's wrong, but I don't know what it is and hasn't reflected on it enough. So we're like, This is why I want Season 4 because I need Tori's plot line.
And if we're going to get more of Tori exploring this on screen, I want that because in the comics, again, it was very like a tertiary plot point to Charlie where Tori figured all the stuff out off screen and just has this conversation with Charlie about it. So if we got to like, see her journey a bit more, that would be incredible, especially to have Charlie being interwoven into that more than he was in
the book. Because if she's going to go on that journey, like, it's still Hardsopper, still Charlie's story. So I would assume he would be more involved than he was in the comics. And that could be really interesting to have, like him support her through something like this. And I feel like that's the next step of like growth for Charlie when it comes to like strengthening his family relationships. It's like Tori's the big one
that's like left unresolved. Like you saw, we saw a resolution with Jane. But like, what about Tori? Tori's the bigger fixture in his life. And like, I want to see him be more supportive to her while she goes through something. Yeah. And like, obviously we're not, not at least in this universe, in the Heart Stopper universe, we're not going to get like the solitaire story of like, yeah, literally the Higgs burning down. We're not going to get that in this. I know.
I mean, if only, but no. Do we want the school to burn down? No, but we're not. We're not going to be. Getting I kind of do. I want to figure out what happens afterwards. That's. Valid. That's forever salty about that I. Mean that that's how I feel about this whole Nick and Charlie talking about university. It hasn't been resolved in the show. I need to know next season even though I've read the the pad,
the OR the later books. I know what actually happens, but like I need to the in between. Come on. So a girl, I feel you. Could you imagine if they ended this show with the school burning down? And I would just be the same exact way? I would be pissed. I'd be like, Alice, you better come on this podcast. You better tell me what happened. That would be really. I need to.
Know imagine if Alice wrote more books and just never addressed ever happens just like just like just a thing that never happened. Oh my God yeah. But anyway, assuming that we're never getting that story in this in this show, we're not getting like Tori's whole big story of solitaire and everything solitaire is not going to be introduced in the show, which even if it was, I would love to see how it could be executed. I would love to see how they
could tie that into this. But I but to this to the point of like this is hard stopper. No idea how they would be able to do that in the amount of time that they would have with just a single season. And also just with the contents of what solitaire was and like the actual group solitaire and
what they were doing. How would you be able to wrap that up so quickly in a, in a very short amount of time that the show is so and still be in the style of Heart Stopper, which while things can get dark, it's still very hopeful. I don't know. That would be a very interesting thing to try, But I my assumption is we're not getting any of that in this season or in that we would did season 4.
So the point I was getting to before I went on a tangent is Tori. We don't get to see that part of Tori. So then the question becomes, what do we actually get to see of Tori and Michael's story? And also, at what point in their relationship are they in this story where they are now in the show?
Because like it's in the same vein of like Tori has already in the graphic novels figured out that she's asexual because her and Michael have already been intimate at this point and they've already been to the point like the the actual contents of Solitaire has already happened. It's already long over by this point in the show, like in the story. So what has happened in the show at this point? We have no idea. So has have they sat at their place and watch Beauty and the
Beast? Have they have they gone for pizza? Like has did Michael follow Tori to the pizza place? Did what always happened? We know that Oliver has his tractors. It's all we. It was all we really know. So that's the real question. So yeah, that's stuff that we we really need to see in season 4. Just that just those questions answered would be great. So I love that Charlie, basically she says to Tori she's wrong, that she's not. She doesn't not. She doesn't feel nothing.
She has so much love to give. And she has just been spending the last year giving him all of her love in his, supporting him, helping him. And he tries to reassure her that she can let go of some of that love for him and give it elsewhere. He's OK. He's doing much better. He's going to be OK. He has a whole community. He has a whole group of his friends. He has, obviously he has Nick, but he has his friends. And to some extent now they are slowly, gradually having their parents.
So he he is OK. And she can take some of that weight off of herself. She can take some of that love and channel it to another person. And Tori, of course, immediately turns around and she says, like, I wanted to, I wanted to give you all my love. She'd do it all again. She makes a point to remind Charlie that she is supporting him and putting all of her love into him because she does love him. It's none of that obligation bullshit that he has struggled with believing for so many years.
Feeling like everybody's obligated or people are just trying to be nice. People just feel like they need to take care of him. Like she feels like she needs to take care of him because she's the older sister. Absolutely not. She loves him, Charlie. She loves you. That's why she looks out for you. Same thing with Nick. Nick loves you. That's why he looks out for you. Not because he feels like he needs to or because whatever
reason. So Yep. And then their hug is just really, really sweet. So if we if we could just get a Charlie and Tori hug every, every episode, I would probably actually just cry the whole season. Yeah. So when they get off the Ferris wheel, there's Michael once again, just hi, I'm here. And a gentle head jerk from Charlie is just like, go, go get your go get your whatever He is your man, your friend, whatever the hell he is. I don't know. Go get him.
And so Tori goes over to talk to Michael, and her body language at first is very stiff. It's very rigid. She's just kind of like shoulders, like, OK, here we go. Like, you know, she's really anticipating what that's this conversation is about to be. And we do, obviously, we don't hear anything. We don't get any inkling. We don't see their. We don't really see their lips
move. We can't really tell what was exchanged between them, but within a few seconds it cuts away to Charlie for a second, smiling and watching them. And then you see them walk away and everything seemingly is OK. Everything seems fine. Because then you see Tori lean over and gently like she shoves like with her shoulder. She like, bumps into Michael to like, shove him. And then they walk away and it's like, OK.
And it's just that little unspoken everything's going to be OK. So I thought that was really. Yeah, these can't. Be too tense with the two of them together. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the the playful nudge was probably my favorite part cuz it was just like for some people that's their love language for. Them it definitely. Yeah. And violence. Yeah. Right. Exactly, you know attracts. Go get her a diet lemonade, Michael. With the straw, With the straw, with the straw.
Everything's going down on. Yeah, exactly. Get better. And I love a new straw. Right now. Bonus points if it's a purple straw though, or a black straw if it's a black straw. Yeah. Like her soul colors. Yeah, yes, any of the asexual colors, if you get, if you even find it as asexual pride. Flag black and white, Yeah. Oh my God, she'd be. She'd be very happy. And then from there, Charlie gets an Instagram message back from Tara letting him know that they're stuck in traffic and are
probably going to be late. And panic is setting in for everyone because Charlie's like, oh shit, Nick's not going to be here. How am I supposed to do this? The girls are like, get there. We have to make it. And they're not saying anything that's helpful because they're like, what time are we supposed to get there? Court. Oh, whatever. It's supposed to be like 415, I think.
And I'm like, this is not helping Nick, who, you know, is behind the wheel driving when he's already thinking about how he's going to miss this for Charlie. But anyway, as the band's getting ready to go on, Charlie looks out to everyone in the audience, and we keep cutting in between both of them. So Nick is driving, and now Ellen Imogen are yelling at him to drive faster.
And, like, at first you think he's driving really fast because he's like, the only one on the road for a few, right? And then you see that he's like, I'm driving the speed limit. So cute. He's an old. What was it? What did he say earlier? He's an old lady and soul and the soul. So he's like. Driving an old lady. So he's driving the speed limit as one. Yeah, never really. Only. Because he knows that if he gets pulled over, it would take more time than actually doing. Exactly.
But most of the time you don't and then you get there quicker. So, like just saying Nick Ball. Anyway, Nick. Nick does follow the rules, and that's because he wasn't restricted growing up. Well, I learned this recently, but the the UK driving school, like the driving school is actually a lot more strict in certain parts of the UK than it would be here in America. Like some of them, if you make one mistake, like a certain certain level of mistake, you're
done. Like you have to retake the test entirely. You fail automatically. So well. We have that. Yeah, I don't. At least I did. I say my driving. Test I didn't fail but. We had like a certain number of like if you have to hit the brakes for whatever reason, or if the instructor has to hit the brakes for you. I don't remember how many it was, but I know I had it happen at least once where my instructor had to hit the brakes and I still pass.
So I was like, I don't know if it's different for states, but yeah. They had brakes too. I mean, I didn't go to a class. Oh, I don't know. Yeah, mine, the instructor like had their own set of brakes that they had. They were able to hit at any time if they needed to. So that's. Interesting, I learned at 12 in a school parking lot anyway. My school didn't offer that. It's crazy. Different parts of the country, man. Oh no, my mom taught me in a school parking lot.
Wow, that's very. Yeah, no, that's crazy. I didn't have anyone teach me, just my mom. Anyway, the yelling seems to be giving Taurus some anxiety at least. I think it's anxiety because she's like can you just please stop shouting? First of all, yes just shouting is probably annoying too. But like. Also, if the yelling is not going to help you get anywhere. No. They all want control right now and the only person in control is Nick and Nick is trying to be good and follow the rules.
But I have anxiety for all of them right now because I hate being late. Like I would start crying at this point. So while this is happening, Sahar starts working the crowd and as as everyone gets set up, like the band gets set up behind her and we get shots of Charlie's support system that is there in the audience right now. And it's just, it's so sweet because it's showing that Nick isn't the only person who can be there for Charlie.
He has so many people who are still there even though Nick is stuck in traffic. Well, he's not stuck in traffic now. He's just got the speed limit. And if you look at Jane, Jane looks so proud of her baby boy. And it's the sweetest thing because we always see her being like, oh, don't do this, don't do that. But like, this is just full on. I love that what you're doing right now. And she's full fully supportive
of what he's doing. And you see Charlie slowly become more comfortable and start smiling. So he's like starting to accept, OK, I could do this. There are people out there for me, people rooting for me. Nick isn't the only person. Now, we go back on all of that in a little bit, but give me a second. And then I think it could also be because Tao's doing his signature dance in the audience. Yep. That thing that loop the hands. So of course he's going to smile
at that. It's Tao being Tao, and they're having fun. They're supporting him. What more could he want? Oh yeah, lesbian Jesus knows, because it's a lesbian Jesus miracle that Nick and the girls make it as the band is playing and. They're they're. They literally run for their lives, OK, Not literally because, you know, we're chasing them. Anyway, that's another show.
They're running as fast as they can and it seems like images the least 40 out of all of them because there's like quite a big gap between her and the rest. And same girl but I just I love it cuz like you see her like slowly keeping up, but then you like the the shot gets wider and you see this big gap between them and it's. Adorable. This would have been the perfect moment for Nick to go what's called lesbians. I mean, yeah, actually it would
have been. Except for ELF, but say no because, well, no, Imogen didn't. Say well, also, I was gonna yell that. It would have been funny. I think anyone could have at this point because it's just, it's just like a common thing now. It's just you don't have to be a lesbian. Just let's go lesbian. It's. Just an honorary lesbian in this moment. I know Nick has third wheel enough lesbians in his life that he's an honorary 1 so it would
have made sense. And when Nick gets to the front of the stage, Charlie's smile grows even more. And now his world is complete because his entire support system is there. And that's what growth looks like. Bitch, he's got on this stage. He is now performing in front of people. I mean, minus that codependency thing that we have to work on with the two of them because, you know, but we got there. He was performing without Nick being there. Yeah, on stage in a short sleeve shirt.
That's a lot for Charlie. I do love though. When they do arrive, the the College gang shows up. And what's Nick's first response? Ace Gay staring and smiling. But then he's like. Photos like he's such the documentarian of the relationship where he's always like capturing all the moments and they just. I love the shot of Nick and the crabby like that's my boyfriend. So cute. So Nick. He's going to be the dad that takes the not annoying pictures of all their kids so.
Yes. No, that's 100% Nick. Yeah. I mean, Speaking of being a supportive friend, friend Imogen is enjoying watching her just a friend Sahar kill it on stage. And it's full circle from the prom episode where she's watching Sahar and there's literally electricity going off because that's when she realizes, oh shit, what's happening to me. So it's just really cute that we got that shot of her basically watching the same thing. And. Yeah, I didn't even notice that. That is a direct parallel to
prom. Good catch, Galen. I paid attention to that scene. Can you tell? Yes, yes, I yeah, I knew that. We know you're the number one so hard. I shouldn't shipper in this whole endeavor. So yeah, it's OK. But like in the crowd, even Tori is smiling and getting into it. Like she's not just there with her lemonade and a straw. No, she's there. She's up and around and it's
just, it's so sweet. It's just really cute to see her having fun supporting Charlie, but also being there for herself too, because, like, she's going through a lot. Yeah, but I want to know when we're getting Sahara's album because. Queer Intentions, the album where is that? This is really good the song and they let them play the whole song which is awesome. Who wrote this? I know this song is on Spotify, but I don't know if I don't know. We should have more. Agreed.
Speaking of more than we get Nick and Charlie reuniting and parallel of things that always happen. Which is, is it hard stopper if Nick is not hugging Charlie while lifting him in the air and twirling? Because that's another love language of theirs. And I have to point out in the scene once again, kudos, props, set design. The amount of rainbow shit in the background in this festival is glorious.
So thank you for that. Especially the way it's framing Nick and Charlie in the scene with our hugging Jess guess. And it's so fitting. It still makes so much sense that it's there. It's not like jarringly like, why is this here? Because it's a festival. It makes so much sense. It's beautiful. It is beautiful, it's very lively and fun and festive and just gay and like, that's what it should be. All festivals should be like this. All right. And then. OK. So then he put Nick, puts
Charlie down. And then Nick's like, oh, arms. There's arms on display. Oh, my God, Charlie's arms. And like, Nick is like, thoughts. No thoughts, just gay. When he realizes that. So good. Good for you, Nick. He's still a thirsty boyfriend, and we love to see it. And after the flirting and reuniting with Nick, Charlie then practices what he preaches and what he was telling Jeff at
their last therapy session. So he breaks away for he notices his friends, like kind of like off to the side kind of group together. And he leaves Nick to go to them and like celebrate with them and hug with them, which I love because that's Charlie acknowledging that yes, Nick is important. Nick drove all the way here from like across the country to just come see this performance he was in. And that means a lot.
But also his friends did it too. And they were here to support him and they mean something to him too. So I like that Charlie does take the time to like, we're not really saying anything. Acknowledge like, yes, my, my friends are just as meaningful to me. So growth for Charlie yet again with his relationships in general. Then we cut over to night time as the festivities are, you know, they're there until night time. So everybody's like having fun,
I assume off screen. And then we get to this the part of the evening where the parents are like, fuck this shit. I'm out like I'm tired because I, I get it, I get it I get it. It's just like it's night time. I want to go to sleep, love sleep or whatever. So parents say goodbye to Charlie and Nick, and then they're walking away and Jane looks. Back at Charlie and Charlie is. Just like Nick's got his arm around him and they're just like
having fun or whatever. And it seems like she's finally at peace with Charlie and is a way and is like able to like step away from him and let him live his life and and she can go live hers because husband's like, hey, the house is free because Tori's still here. So we can have our lives without children for like a brief hour or so before we pass out.
Let's be honest. That does raise the question, is Tori going to stay over at Michael's place tonight if they're having a free house tonight, what is happening? That is a good question. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It also just really or did they? Forget about Tori, their little house ghost. Yeah, they're like what? That's a good point. Probably wouldn't be the first time. I don't know unfortunately.
Yeah, but also just super cute that he's just like, and we have a free house, which means I can actually get to spend time with my wife and just my wife, I think is really whatever, whatever that insinuates for their marriage. Whatever it insinuates, I think it's just cute. Good for that board game, just good for them. Hell yeah. Betrayal of House on the Hill? Oh wait, you can't play that with your players? Never mind, I don't know you're. Going to play Parcheesi.
I was going to say monopoly, but I'm like Oh my God. That's not relaxing. No, I'm just gonna find. Something else that would. End their marriage. Yes. So the spring parents go off to do whatever and the rest of the kids are just kind of hanging out and have fun at the festival. So we can like cut, have some cuts of like the Paris squad having fun, like playing games, riding all the rides until they break for food because night time.
And I like that Charlie, like Nick, Nick gets in a burger or whatever and he hands it to him. And like Charlie hesitates for literally a fraction of a second before he takes the food. And he's totally fine. And he's OK eating the food with his friends, which is really, really awesome. Again, this is like the growth of Charlie, like this whole sequence of the festival from start to finish.
And I do love that during this, Isaac goes to read and Charlie's like, no, no books, you're not allowed to read. Like he's, I love like he's bossing around his friends, like he's clearly doing great. This is like his night. And I just love that he's like, fuck that Isaac, like no, get out of your comfort zone for a hot minute. Have fun. Be present with us.
Then we have this little side conversation with Elle and Tao where Elle tells him that she's like, after all this like campus shopping that we just did today, I'm more convinced that I want to go to art school outside of on the continent, like not in England, like Paris or something. And Tao's face is the definition of pure joy while she's telling him this. And he's immediately like, yes, that makes sense. So you can be a great artist.
It means I have to get a job now because like trains ain't cheap and shit. Like it's like he's thought about this already. He's like as a possibility and was like, yes, if that's what's best for you, that's fine. I'll figure our shit out. I'll get a job, whatever. My mom's not going to pay for this. So it's really cute the way he didn't spiral.
Like he's already supportive again there, Tao, he's a grown man, He's grown up. I think his brain must have gone to like the Paris trip, especially when they were talking about Europe. He's probably just like, aw man, Paris. And that's where we got together and we had so much fun. And he probably maybe he's maybe he's fantasizing a little bit about them being back in Paris together. He's just like, yes, I would
love that. So that would be great if that's like I. Could see him in like a French film school. Yes, maybe he that's what he's thinking too. He's just like, Oh yeah, maybe that's what I could. Do it later too. Yeah, and he comes in trying to be too French, and everyone's just looking at him like, what the hell. Are you always French? People are like just get the fuck out of here man. No, shut up, Tao. Yeah. But then he wins them all over.
Over Tao. And then he likes oh wait, you're actually a really good filmmaker. Oh no. Oops. Though that would be so Tao. I really would be. That'd be cute. So naturally, they weren't just having this conversation by themselves. Nick was third Wheeling the conversation because that's what he does. And he starts to think about, I think. I think he's thinking about, oh, well, how do I tell Charlie I want to go to Leeds, basically?
And when I was taking the screenshot of Nick contemplating those, that's what I noticed that Charlie's like basically sitting on Nick's lap in public. Which bold of you boys love that for you. OK. Then then we cut to the very end of the festival where people are starting to leave, like the friends are breaking apart and 1st Michael and Tori leave because they're the oldest of the group and they're like, we're tired, we're going to go
and this is Elena's scene. So then I think asks Charlie are those two dating because they seem super close or whatever. And Charlie responds, I don't really know. So big, big. I guess we've come from Charlie just making assumptions to being like, I have no idea based on actually talking to my sister what's going on here. Then he cuts. Then the camera lingers on Isaac
for like a hot 2nd. And he has this like, contemplative look on his face while he's staring in the direction of like where Tori and Michael went. So it makes me wonder if he senses something that's going on with Tori. Or to your point, Elena, is this a hint that their plot lines will be intertwined? Because we know what's going on with Tory. Obviously Isaac wasn't there in the.
Book So yeah, obviously this was this was like a purposeful choice that was made to have first of all, Isaac be the one to ask the question, which makes sense because Isaac wasn't there the first time when Charlie's birthday TA and L were there, but Isaac was not in the room. So it makes sense that Isaac would be like asking the question, but also just the choice of like it being Isaac because of his whole freaking
being asexual and everything. Like it's just as like the the the shot afterwards where he is looking. It's like that was that had to have been on purpose. They made a choice there that is, that is like a 2 second shot that otherwise didn't need to be there except for knowing the context that we have like that was intentional. So I'm like if that is not a hint for Isaac to be like like the asexual. I doesn't say asexual. Jesus, that's Alice the asexual. What'd you say?
Like guardian for Tori, like guardian Angel through it, yeah. Yes, there you go, the asexual Angel. Mentor the mentor. The Angel of Ace, Sure. Yeah, I could see Isaac showing up out of nowhere at Charlie's house. Charlie opens his door and he's like, what are you doing here? I was like, I didn't hear her come over here. He'd be like, don't worry about it, I'm not here for you. Give these to your sister and
it's just a pile of books. I I could see Isaac doing a Tori doing older sister magic on Tori and Tori being like hey that's my bit. Yeah, that'd. Be really funny. Isaac becomes an honorary diet lemonade drinker. Tori Tori gets him in a diet lemonade and he's just going to be sipping it with his with his book. Oh, they're both reading. I I need the Tory and Isaac friendship. That's basically that's. What I'm saying?
That's what we need in season. Four, I want, yeah, I want them reading together and then her putting the book down and just be like Isaac and then asking a question about the book because of course he's read it three times already. Yeah, would love that. Yeah, but I also think the whole thing was intentional too, because it started earlier.
Remember when Episode 3 where Isaac comes over to the house because Charlie's acting weird and Tori's like, your friend's here and Charlie's like, which one? She's like the one that reads like she doesn't even know Isaac's name, but like, oh, he's she's noticed him of all the friend group. So I think, I don't know. I think they're making connections between Isaac and Tori. And I would like to see that interview. Yes. Absolutely. Yeah, All right. Speaking of things, I want to continue.
The world's best brand shows up to take away Darcy and Tara. And, like, it's really cute the way Gran hugs both of them individually, and they're just like, they're like one big happy family and I love them. And they just, like, wander off into the night, then Nick. And that leaves Nick and Charlie. So they share a heated moment of gay staring before they leave to go be alone for their evening
together. Alone. You know, I just realized who the real resilient old lady is in this aspect is Gran is literally Gran. She is the resilient old lady. Oh my gosh. But yes, Nick and Charlie go back to Nick's house and have their boyfriend sleepover as they've been calling it, and immediately go upstairs to Nick's room. And Nick doesn't even think twice about like his shirts off, but Charlie's is on. And Nick doesn't even think twice about this because this is kind of just where they've
always been. And so when he, like, tries to, like, he takes Charlie's hand and like, tries to pull him towards the bed, Charlie stops him. And he's like, kind of caught off guard by that. So yeah. Yeah, just the moment where Charlie has the courage to ask Nick to take his shirt off was amazing. Like, I know, I love that he asked. He asked Nick specifically. Yeah, I thought that was just, it was just beautifully done.
It's huge. The fact that I, I just noticed this immediately, like watching this, there is no sound effects, there's no music. There is just like the very subtle creaking up the floor under their feet and like the subtle like rustling of the shirt and everything. That is the only sound in the room during this whole moment. And it really showcases it. This is a very private moment between these two boys. So just just beautifully done.
Like knowing this show that is like constantly has like some kind of soundtrack in the background and or has like, you know, their their whole playlist of like different songs that they've put in between like certain scenes, like to transition in this moment to be complete silence. It's just so such a beautiful choice, I think. Yeah, you're right. It it definitely does heighten the intimacy and the fact that, like, the world does not exist outside this room for them in this moment.
Absolutely. It does heighten everything. And in that, because there's no like, music to kind of like distract you or like invoke emotion, you just have the actors doing that for you. And, and I think that's really important because while Nick takes Charlie's shirt off, you can see the way Charlie is doing his best. Like he's just like focused. He's kind of like rigid, like he's like summoning every ounce of bravery he has to, to go through with this because he does want to.
And but he's still, you know, afraid. But he's, you know, and he's still doing it. And I think part of it is he just doesn't know what's going to happen next. It's him going into the unknown really. With Nick, this is a next step in their relationship because yes, they've been physically intimate, but like Charlie hasn't been fully vulnerable during the intimate moment. And that's really what this is
symbolizing. And Charlie doesn't like he's as brave as he possibly can be. And Nick's reaction is the most validating reaction period where Nick is just smiling and just says I love you. Like wow, I just anxiety gone like all the deep breaths in the world will not like validate you the way that what Nick Nick's reaction validates Charlie.
Yeah, Where was I? Yeah. So when the music actually does like kind of kind of in the typical heart stopper fashion and like kind of starts to play, just signify like we're going to either like transition into the next scene or we're going to transition kind of slowly ease into the end of the episode. Like that's kind of the typical like transitional thing that Harsh opera does with his music. This song choice is such a beautiful one because first of
all, the lyrics are beautiful. It's a song called Million Little Reasons by Oscar Lang. It is literally like the only two instruments that I can hear in it at least are piano. It just starts with piano. And then as it kind of starts to not even crescendo, it crescendos a little bit. But when it starts to kind of swell a little bit in the chorus, there's an electric guitar, but there is never percussion. There is never a drum. There's never any form of percussion that plays.
It is just those two instruments. And it just kind of really continues on with this whole gentle nature, this whole tender nature that is this whole scene that is their first time having sex, like fully having sex. And it's so, so beautifully done, especially because the lyrics that that play during this whole thing is he sings. There's a million little reasons why I like your smile, million little reasons why I like your style. If I tried to write them down, I'd run out of ink.
First of all, from a writer's perspective, it's just a beautiful line. Like just I could never write them all down because, I mean, first of all, yeah, no, it's impossible. But that's kind of that's the whole point of what this whole scene is. It's like obviously like they both just love each other and every part of each other. So it just shows that and it's golly. I I did in fact start crying when I saw this scene the first time.
Like I I hadn't cried for a while, like for the last couple episodes, I don't think I've like cried, but this like I just lost it. This. Scene. It's just there's so much to it and it's not like a very long. Scene. It's just there's just so much to. This just this part, just this lead up part and the part that I really loved from this part, this moment in this in the scene is when Charlie and Nick hug. So it's after Nick says I love
you. And then they just hug for a minute and like the look on Charlie's face, like again, that validation, like he really, really needed that. And this is like a skin to skin hug too. So it's like more intimate than like a normal hug that they would do. And like Charlie just kind of like clings to Nick for a bit after he just did this really brave thing, you know, and it just the all the intimacy in this in this just beginning piece.
Are really fantastic yeah that that's actually like literally where I started crying was during the hug is it's just like kind of going back to like I talked about this in episode 5 with Tau and Elle and Elle dealing with her body her dysphoria, her gender dysphoria and like feeling like her body
wasn't her body. Charlie not obviously in the same way, but like kind of in the same mindset of like struggling with his body image struggling with not feeling like he could show himself to Nick this way and so like for Nick to just take him and love him and love him for all he is like in the same way like like Tao had chosen when he said I love all of you didn't kiss her. He hugged her and it's kind of
in this same moment. Obviously Nick kisses him later, but this is all it all starts with a hug in like he literally they wrap each other like wrap themselves around each other like enveloping each other like I love all of you and this is how I love all of me. It's it's the John Legend song. All of me loves all of you. Yeah. And like, seriously, and in going with that theme, then we get like these shots of them, like being intimate and stuff.
We kind of transition into it. And all those shots in the sequence, like after the hug are really intimate and beautiful. But my absolute favorite that goes along with the theme of what we're talking about is when they're in the bed and Nick is kissing Charlie kind of like it's over the shoulder a little bit, and Nick is holding Charlie's holding Nick with his arm. And you see in the middle of the frame, basically the scars on Charlie's arms are like very,
very visible and prominent. And to me, this really shows to what you kind of said earlier is that the scars are part of Charlie but don't define him. They have nothing to do with this moment that they're having together. And here's Nick loving every piece of Charlie, like scars included, because that's just part of who Charlie is. And I like that that's visually represented in this particular shot when they're having this very intimate moment together.
I just love it. And I love that Charlie was able to get to this place by the end of the season. That's really, really huge that he was able to get this vulnerable. Foot thick. Yeah, it's it's just so such a beautifully done. I think I would honestly like, and this is me not just talking from a bias standpoint of somebody who just loves heart stopper period, but like I'd rank it as like one of my absolute favorite like intimate scenes ever, just because of how
it is done. Because you know, a lot of a lot of movies, a lot of shows really try to capture that tenderness, that gentleness of love, But there's always a level of intensity to it that I just can't really relate to when I watch it or just like some angsty emotion that I'm kind of just like, no, that's that's just not the vibe that I'm looking for here, man. So like just to see these two and there there's no like rush to it.
There's No Fear. There's no, I mean, there's Charlie's nerves, the nerves for both of them really. There's nerves naturally, but there is this level of trust. They trust each other, they love each other and they know at the end of the day, if if one of them changes their mind, they can back out and everything's fine. Nothing's going to change between them. But it's just so, it's just so beautiful.
It's one of my absolute favorite kind of next to like I'd almost say red, white and royal blue is probably out there with. Them it's very red, white and royal blue. The difference is though, though, I mean the way it's shot, it's very like intimate and like slow paced and like fits the characters and the way in in red, white and royal blue. Also, it was like they they both felt that this was a big step for both of them. So do these two and it's it's more emotion. They were very emotionally
connected couples. So is Nick and Charlie like Alex
and Henry comparing those two. Something else I love about this particular, the whole sequence, not just like each scene, is that it's at the end of the day, even though they're doing this big thing right, this taking the next step in their relationship, they're still Nick and Charlie. And the director or writer show us that by having cuts of like them just laying in bed talking, because that's how their relationship always was like it's just them enjoying each other's company.
It's not just just about the act of having sex. It's like it's still Nick and Charlie. And they show us that when they have the moments of them just giggling in bed and then like sleeping and you know, it's it's still them just being them. They just added this new level of connection basically to their relationship. But they are still Nick and Charlie. And I like that. It really makes that point with
this whole, the whole. Sequence Oh my God, even the the nod back to season 2 when they're like the the shots between them sleeping like the different positions they're sleeping in and just like nod back to the end of episode 6 of season 2 is like when they're when they're in the hotel room and they're just like they're yeah, they're sleeping and they're cuddling and everything and it's just like, it's the
same thing. And it's, like, kind of helps add to that your point there at the OR is like, it is a whole new time of their lives, but it's still Nick and Charlie. It is still them. Yeah. And we get to the end of the season. We basically get to the credits as Nick is or Charlie. Nick is sleeping on Charlie's chest. Charlie gives him a little kiss on his head. And then it goes to black. And the final lyrics of the song
finish and we have the credits. And I personally was like, there better be a season 4 or there's hell to pay personally, because they, I know they, they purposely left the ending very open-ended for the reason of like, we don't know if there's a season 4, but there, but there needs to be like, I think that's really what they're trying to stress is there needs to be a season 4 for this show, for this story, because practically speaking, there's no way with this story that they could wrap
it up at this point because there's still so much story to tell. So for me personally, it's like, if this season, if this show does not get a season 4, there is not a satisfactory ending for me personally. So because there's still so many loose ends, Nick and Charlie still to have this conversation about university, like Nick going to or. That's the biggest one in my head right now. Like they didn't actually talk
about any of this. Yeah. And I and I like to believe that that was intentional to save all that for Season 4. But it and it is, it is a risky take with with TV shows, with anything that's like, yeah, trying to risk a company wanting to renew it or even just somebody wanting to pick anything up ever, like any projects ever. It's it is a risky take with something that is not a one and done kind of project.
So that is that is kind of part of it is they really are trying to make that push of like we need the season 4. But Alice has also been saying it since the beginning. Like they firmly believe they can tell the story in Four Seasons and then be satisfied. And yeah, so that's where I'm like, Season 4, come on. So I'm, I'm just waiting anxiously with bated breath, at least until Volume 6 is finished to be like, OK, I'm. I'm patiently waiting.
Where is it, Netflix? Yeah, cuz like what's left to tell is really Volume 6 once that's out and then Nick and Charlie, the novella, cuz that if you've never read it, not to spoil anything, that deals with the whole Nick and Charlie talking about Nick going to university. Like that was the whole novella was about that. Yeah, literally. And it wraps.
It doesn't wrap it up very nicely for them given the story so. So there is plenty of material like to wrap fully wrap up the Heart Stopper universe in its current existence with the anticipation of volume six. Yeah, I agree. And I want justice for Tori and her, her, you know, journey. We need to get more of Image. Image and Sahar, whatever. Yeah, we need more of Tori. We need more Michael. Anyway. We need Olivia Coleman back. We need, we need the ladies
having lunch together. We need more of Grant. Olivia. Coleman. We need Olivia Coleman back. We need Haley and Olivia and Georgina I think is her name. The actress is named Georgina Rich. We need we need Jane, Sarah and Diane. I was like, Oh my God, I'm forgetting names now. Who? Am I? Who am I? Diane. Auntie Diane. We need these three in a room together. And Gran, we need. Gran. We need. Oh my. God no. Gran and Darcy on their gadgets. Oh yeah, that's what. I want.
Yeah, Kizzy's on board. Is on board for that movie? Let's do it. We also need Isaac and Tori. I will. I will. Gladly. I will. Gladly. Actually, no, that's that'd be a disservice to Alice. Never mind. I wouldn't do that. No. Unless Alice was OK. Unless Alice was OK with it. I'll do a collaborative effort with Alice. Alice, hit me up. Alice, if you're listening, e-mail is a big gay. I'm on the podcast.
Gmail.com anyway, so yeah, that was the finale of Heartstopper for Season 3. We are hopeful for Season 4 and like I said at the beginning, this isn't our last episode covering Heartstopper or the Heartstopper universe. We will be back to cover Volume 6 when it's out. We are going to do an episode of Agatha all along, so I know there's some crossover and Elena will be back for that.
Yes. So we're going to talk to the guest, Gucci. And we'll be back to talk about season 4 when it inevitably happens. So I'm just throwing that out into the universe. And who knows, maybe we'll start on Isaac Book Club where we read Isaac's books or other Alice books. We should. We'll see. Yeah. So OK, now, Big Energy award, because Caitlyn already gave yours out. I want to give mine out to Tori on the steps with with the judge mental sip that she did. That's my big energy award where
she's like, uh huh. Charlie, where you been? Sip. I'm going to give mine to, I think, to Will, who is the the student ambassador at Leeds. What do you have to? Oh yeah. Yeah. Because of just how like if if he was at any university that was like, do anybody with that level of energy would make any student want to go there because Oh yeah, that's just so welcoming. Like, that would make anybody want to go to that college just because he just changed Nick's life. How? Long you realized.
It and also I would love to see just a little miniature series on him and Josh because they both. Yes, that too. Even it was just a simple little wave, but I would love to see more of them and their stories because they just seem so cute. Basically every character who's ever seen in the the show needs to get their own spin off Alice. You'll be busy for the rest of your life. I mean absolutely. I think they're they would be OK with that though. That's the hope, yeah.
Let's keep Alice busy. OK, but if you made it this far in this episode, we want to know. Use this in this episode. It's gonna be a phrase. Use this phrase in a comment or review to let us know that you're still listening. So there's 2 for this time cuz I couldn't choose. So there's two phrases today. The first one is no thoughts, just gay. I almost said no gay just thoughts. That makes sense. Better don't. Tired. I'm sorry, it's been a long life. The second phrase is resilient
old. Lady, I wondered if that was me. We said it enough times because at first I wasn't sure, so I didn't know if the first instance of it was going to make it in. But we've said it enough times. Oh, it's. There, it's part of the lore now so anyway, thank you all for listening. I hope you enjoyed our Heart Stopper breakdown. Like we said, we'll be back to cover Agatha and then our next big deep dive is going to be a Pluto the series.
I'm not sure there's any crossover between Heart Stopper and Pluto, but. Well, it's not. Go watch it. Oh, it's. Pluto it's on YouTube. It's amazing actually. If you enjoyed heart stopper, you should watch. If you don't mind subtitles, you should watch 23.5 the series and bad buddy. That's another one. It's GMMTV. Some other boy love one. That's cute. It was the birth of the milk
love ship. Was that Anyway, they're both like heart stopper vibey and they're on YouTube and you can watch the whole thing, so you're welcome. So until next time, hydrate for lesbian Jesus. And get up all over the place. Bye. And with that, we've been big gay energy. Thank you for listening. We'd really appreciate it if you downloaded this episode and left us a review. No matter how brief, your contribution will help us reach a wider audience. We would love to hear from you
about everything and anything. You can find us on all social media platforms at BIG Gay Energy Pod or e-mail us at BIG [email protected]. Join our Discord server to connect with us and our friends who also love queer media. The link to join us in our episode description below if you'd like to support us. Check out our merch store on big gayenergypod.com or join our Patreon for early access to episodes, exclusive content, and so much more. Until next time, hydrate from lesbian Jesus.
And get it. Up all over the place.