Heartstopper S3E7 "Together" Recap

Hello and welcome to Big Gay Energy. I'm Caitlin. And I'm Theora. Come along with us while we dive into the fun and nuances of queer media. Representation matters, and we're. Here to talk about it. Cheers, queers. What's on the big gay agenda today, Theora? Today we are continuing our Heart Stopper Season 3 scene by scene recap. And today we're going to cover episode 7, which is together, which sounds real happy. I don't know, it sounds like kumbaya, which is. Happy compared to the the

finale. Why'd they got to? Why'd they got to slap us with the finale name? It's like the total opposite. Spoiler in case you haven't gotten there. I thought you said heavy. I was like, really heavy From together. No. Happy. Yeah, I didn't hear that part. Happy. Happy then. Yes. And of course, we have Elena joining us once again. That's the one actually me. Plot twist, I'm I'm 3 ringos in a trench coat right now actually. I would love to see that, actually.

Seriously. Oh my gosh, I'll have to get a friend of mine to draw it. She's an amazing artist. 3 ringers in a trench coat. Fingers like don't you dare, Don't you dare, Missy. All right, let's get into So we start this episode and Tara is at her dance class and she's getting lost in the world of dance. Yeah, I this what a great way to open the episode because, like, Tarm's been on a journey that's been mostly sad and stressful.

So it was really nice to see her in an environment that wasn't that because she seemed really focused and like, in, you know, in the zone. Clearly she's been dancing for a while, but like she seemed like satisfied with like what she was doing. And it's like the one scene we've gotten of her where she like wasn't stressed out by like

being in dance class. So I'm glad that like she still has, it seems like she still has an outlet of something that like De stresses her a bit because like exercising releases endorphins and stuff. And so I imagine that this, like, helps her center herself, you know, at least while she's dancing. And then, like, when she leaves dance, you know, the stress probably comes back. But I'm glad she has this because like, we just see her stressed out constantly this season.

She doesn't have to think while she's doing this. Yeah, it's all muscle memory. That's a really good point too. Yeah. And whatever thinking that she does, it's it's like it's very structured. It's like whether it's like the warm ups or the across the floor exercises or it's the combination that they're doing at this point in the scene, it's like the mental energy is going into a very controlled, very like already conceived part of her. And I really love that that's

really helping her. Also, like you look at the class and it's like this is obviously like all these dancers are very different levels of experience, just like looking at some of their turnouts and everything. Obviously, like some of them haven't been in dances many years.

And I think that that just kind of indicates that this is probably a more open class for like all ages and all levels, which kind of adds on to the idea that this is a class that Tara is doing just because she loves it. She's just having so much fun with it.

And it's wonderful. And also even looking at like the variety of outfits in like traditional ballet classes usually like depending on what studio you're at, some of them will require you to wear like very strict uniforms of like everybody wears black, everybody wears tights, everybody wears a leotard. I think, I think the leotard concept without like wearing shorts or anything is like kind of a little bit going out of style.

Just like in like gymnastics, professional gymnastics leotards are kind of going out of style because they're like letting women whatever wear whatever they want now without being revealing and all that, you know, yeah, saying fuck misogyny with right women's clothing. Hell yeah. So I know that's kind of going out of style now with those traditional ideas of dancewear and gymnastics wear. But even just like seeing everybody wear like their, it's obviously like all their own outfits.

Everybody is even wearing like different kinds of shoes. There's no set uniform. So it kind of also adds to that idea of like it's a more relaxed. It's very fun. You're not there to get into Juilliard. Well, equivalent. I'm not here. To get into NYU Tisch program by any means? Yeah. I mean it's my my guess is it might even be like given the movement it could be a lyrical ballet class. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Yeah, probably it might just. Be the song that's playing in

the background. Well, traditionally lyrical, at least the classes I've taken, the lyrical ballet style is a lot more fluid than like a more structured ballet class, like more traditional, but also, yeah, the energy and lyrical ballet, it's a kind of a newer concept than like traditional ballet. So that's more modern view of it. Also this this whole scene has just given me such a sense of nostalgia. The good old days. Dancing in my mom's ballet classes. I I used to love her lyrical

ballet classes. Like one of my favorite classes. So the glory days. I know every time I watch this scene I'm like I want to do. It I miss taking ballet classes, I literally could. I literally could, but that requires money. Yeah. Also a little detail, I love at the end of the dance combination that Tara's doing. Obviously we'll we'll get to Nick and Charlie's portion of in a second, but I love that Tara is out of breath at the end of this combination.

And I love that because obviously like she's blowing off steam in a very healthy way and she's exerting her energy in a more controlled form. But it's also a detail that I just really appreciate as someone who grew up a dancer because it's a very common misconception, which is kind of also going a lot of style. I think it's not as much of A stereotype now as it was 20 years ago. When I was growing up in middle school. I'd hear people say, like, dance is a very not dance.

Ballet is a very easy genre because it's not a fast pace. It's not an intense genre, which is, by the way, anybody who has ever danced ballet in their lives knows, yeah, knows that that is bullshit. Ballet is actually a very difficult genre. I mean, all dance can be very difficult, but ballet is very structured. It is very like, it can be very intense. Like tell me you've never taken a ballet technique class. Tell me, tell me you've never heard of the man Finest Jung who

is like one of the. Masters of ballet tell me you've never seen a ballet Dancers get their shoes ready for ballet. Oh my gosh. Like just the shoe part is intense as fuck. Like just to get it ready and then they last like 2 days. It's insane. Yeah, the point shoe thing, like, Oh my gosh, it only lasts a few hours. Yeah, it depends on how much. You slept and it's insane. I never fucked with point

honestly. Like no, at our at my mom's studio, it was like you had to at least take you had to be at least, I think 12 and you had to and you had to be 12 just to go through the year of pre point before you could actually go into point shoes because you don't fuck with point. You don't. You don't half ass point. Point can fuck you up if you don't do it safely. And your ankles aren't strong enough.

Your knees, your ankles, your hips, everything about you can get totally messed up if you aren't careful with points. So the idea that ballet is easy. Anyway, that's my little rant about growing up a ballet dancer. We're saying that Tara doesn't have to think there, but she is thinking. So she is thinking like elongate your the lines, make sure your posture is perfect.

Do the hand positions. There's so much to think about that other people don't realize, which also I would like them to go spin a few times, do some leaps and then tell me how good you are and then make sure you spot those turns as well. Make sure they don't get dizzy in the process, yeah. But it's just showing that how much like this comes naturally to Tar, that she doesn't have to think about all these things.

That or like she isn't worried about being the best here and she can just lose herself in this art form. Yeah, that that's what I meant by like she's not thinking like, I mean, it's like this is muscle memory thinking like this. It's not like Oh my God being prefect or whatever like. Yeah, she's not at all having to think about. Thinking the outside world at all like she's. In this, she's in this space. This is her, like her. I was going to say safe space, but yeah, it is.

It is kind of like a safe space. It is kind of like a safe space, yeah. Depending on your teacher, but yes that is very true. Yes. And well get well. Tara is getting lost in dance. Nick is getting lost in his lusting for Charlie. Like, very lost. He can't even think about Charlie without being completely distracted by his want to take things further. He doesn't even know what's real and what's. Not it's true and you know, you know, romance be like that sometimes.

But I did find it quite interesting that they paired these two storylines up and intercut them in the opening of this episode. And I was like, oh, there has to be a reason. And then I just kept talking, telling myself that I'm like, OK, well then figure out the

reason. So. Basically the scenes are showing what each character feels safe in right now and focused on. So Nick is all in on this relationship with Charlie and is completely in love with him, while Tara is in love with Dance because it makes her feel free and safe when everything else seems like it's falling apart or is too much. So that's kind of also the song is perfect. It's just the song tells you what's going on. Yeah, I agree with what you're saying. That's a really good point.

This is like to both of your points. This is like, this is their their version of escapism for all the things that's stressing them out because like we'll point it out in the next scene. But like, Tara and Nick have like very similar arcs this season. Like in a lot of ways, there's a lot of parallels between the two. And so this can be like their escapism from like whatever is stressing them out, like Tara

and all her school stuff. And then Nick also who's been avoiding his school stuff as well because he's been focusing on Charlie. So like and here it, hey, you know, kind of here it is. So like, I'm hoping this is a hint that Tara will continue dancing in whatever she ends up doing, like when she goes to university, because it seems like this is an important de stressor for her, you know? And and I think it's really interesting that Tara's escapism

is not her relationship. It's an activity that she cares about, which is really good because because her and Darcy don't have the same codependent type of relationship that like Nick and Charlie have developed. So that is also an interesting thing to think about with them that's different. It'd be very interesting to see heart stop her in the college years. Oh my God, yeah.

We should definitely get that. I'm just saying will Volume 6 be part of that because it's going to be like Charlie in I don't and then. I think Alice said that they're gonna that the stories ending when Nick leaves for university, OK? OK, OK, we'll. Probably get like mini comics here and there like we have been. But yeah, I think the actual heart stopper story is going to end. I mean there might be novels in the future, who knows? Who knows. OK. We'll see. We shall see.

But before we continue on this episode, we have to interrupt this video to bring you a few brief shout outs for our Patreon members. So as always, we appreciate every single person who supports us, whether it be on Patreon or any other platform. We just want you to know that we see you and love having you with us. So our chaos crew members on the big a ride or die tier and above as of filming are Angela, Natalia, Jill L, Regina B, Monet, F Shy, Isla, Madison, Amix, new Monzone, under score

multi, Kate, V&M. Thank you all so much. Thank you. And our featured Big A supporter members for this episode are Isabel, David, Jay and Saruni. Woo woo. If you want a chance at a shout out, all you have to do is join our Patreon and join on the $5 tier. If you join on any above other tier, you get a shout out automatically. And I just realized I forgot to add a person to our big gay ride or die tier and above. Also, Dana, thank you so much.

Thank you, Dana. Also special shout out to everybody on Threads and Blue Sky that's been interacting with our hard supper content. We appreciate all of you and all of your insight into specific scenes and just thank you guys keep keep on commenting and we're having fun over there. Yeah, and then join our discord if you haven't already. Yeah, it's a gay old. Time. All right, Speaking of gay old time, let's go to the park. Where Tara, Nick, Henry and Nellie are having a heart to

heart. I love the all the dogs are there. It's really cute. I assume Nick's just like I want to go to the dog park, Tara come with me. And Nick says, cuz these two characters, like I said, I've been stressed out for different reasons and kind of like trying to find stress relief. And so Nick says dog cuddles solve everything, which is true. That's true. That should just be medicine. Just pet a dog. That's why there's therapy dogs.

That's why there's therapy. Dogs Henry and Nelly definitely are. I feel like in real life Echo probably could be a therapy dog. I don't know about the pugs, they seem a little rambunctious on set but like the Nelly probably could has the temperament for a or Echo is the dog that plays. Nelly probably has the actual temperament for that. Yeah, I mean he is like a trained like show, not show dog or whatever. He's like an agility trained dog or something.

Also makes sense he does. He does have like he does. Have a lot of achievements. Yeah, let's say he is a very highly trained pup, so. It's only very calm for like a dog that like a type of breed that's like energetic like which is important with a therapy dog. Like I have a dog that is Goldendoodle, which is a breed for therapy dog. However, my dog needs therapy and can't be a therapy dog. So yes. So he doesn't need therapy, he needs therapy. He does.

That's very accurate. I love her so much. Anyway, so Tara in this conversation admits to Nick that she's been stressed all year, which we've pointed out a bunch of times and that she has a lot on her plate. But finally, she's like openly talking about this with somebody. And she mentions that. She mentions while ballet itself doesn't stress her out, which is what we just pointed out, What does stress her out is everything outside of being in the ballet room specifically.

Like it takes three buses for her to get to the class and like that commute, which probably takes a bunch of time and like mental coordination and stuff like that, that stresses her out because she's like, we've seen how busy she is outside of school. So like taking like an hour or so to get somewhere one way, like must be super stressful. So Nick, who now has his driver's license and a ride is like, Hey, how about I just drive you? And then like, let's remove that stress factor for you.

And Tara's reflex answer is no. But then Nick's like, wait, it's not a big deal. Like for real. I'm like offering. And then she says, well, maybe, OK, so I, I, I love this because again, Tara and Nick for me fulfill very similar roles. They're both like the really strong person in any relationship that they're in. They're like the person that people, other people rely on. And I think they fulfill that role in their relationships and

friendships and stuff like that. So of course, Tara's reef reflex answer is no, I don't need help because I guess I get the sense that she's the type of person that isn't used to accepting help. She's the one that helps other people because she's just very capable and she's a strong person. And that kind of comes with that. And so like, being in this position of like needing help is new for her. And I feel like that's something she doesn't like. It doesn't register with her immediately.

So she had to like, think about it when Nick was like, no, seriously. Like, think about this. And then she's like, OK, I'll let me think about it. It's not a yes, but it's not a no. She had to, like, process it for a minute. I feel like Nick's in this, Nick's kind of similar to Hat,

but in this conversation. Like from Nick's point of view, it's just like classic Nick. Like he loves his friends and he's willing to do whatever he can to support them, which is just a very Nick thing to do. Like if the roles were reversed, I feel like Tara would do the exact same thing for Nick. I know I love this trope about Nick that he he does specifically clarify and he's done in in previous season.

He goes no, I want to do it. I love that he, he specifies that it's something he wants to do because I mean, I like you said, he knows how much it matters to her. He sees this as a way that he can really support because obviously, like Nick obviously loves Tara as a friend. Like they really do love each other as friends. And I think this is like one of the ways he is able to show that he enjoys spending time with her. That's that's the thing about car rides.

It's like car rides can be like such a great way, like such a private way to like spend time with someone. That's true, yeah. Because it's just you 2 obviously like one of you has to focus on the road obviously, but it is like such a private time to like have a one-on-one conversation with somebody because obviously like no one else can hear you so. Also, what else are you going to do? Right. You have to pass the test, yeah, but that's.

Belong to music together or talk about really deep shit. Which we see them do later. So like Tara does spoiler alert, take up Nick on the software, we do get super intimate conversations to your point, Elena, that like it will get there. It does happen and it's awesome. OK, Then the conversation pivots away from Tara to how are you Nick? How are you and Charlie doing? And Nick's automatic response is to just sorry, sneeze.

Nick's automatic response is just to talk about Charlie and he's like, Charlie's doing great. Like Charlie's doing so much better, I'm so proud of him, etcetera, etcetera. And then Tara's like, OK, but what about what about Nick? There's like Nick and Charlie, there's two people in that equation and you're just focusing on 1/2 of the equation. Nick.

What about the Nick part? And Tara so rightfully points out that like Nick, because, like, again, that opening sequence, to your point, the escapism, Nick has been escaping in his relationship and he's been so focused on Charlie that he's been avoiding, like, taking care of himself in a lot of ways, Particularly when it comes to like, looking into the future of like, what do I want? Because we're at that point in time with Nick and Tara where like, they're going on to the

next step of their education. And they really need to think about like, who am I? What do I want? Where do I want to go? And Nick's been like just focused on the Charlie piece and ignoring himself in that

equation. And what I find really great to go back to what I said earlier about Tara and Nick really having these parallel arcs this season, but learning different things at different times, is that Tara points out she's like, you know, I relate to this because Tara has been got really wrapped up in Darcy's stuff at the beginning of the season. Because like Darcy went through an actual life crisis with like getting kicked out of her head, getting kicked out of their

house. And like all the stuff with the family and living with it was a huge thing that they went through and like. Tara was really the sole support. During all of that for Darcy so Tara's like I get it been there, but like you need to focus on you, Nick. And I like that she starts planting these seeds and like, kind of encouraging him to be like, you're as important as Charlie is in this relationship.

And like, Please remember that because, you know, it can be easy to escape into the relationship, but like, you have to take care of yourself too. And I think that's really important coming from Tara because she did learn that with Darcy. And we had that cold conversation with Tara and Darcy where Tara had to like set boundaries with Darcy because of this very reason. So I like that she's, she's the one giving Nick this advice

because like, she's been there. Yeah, she was just like emphasizing again that she thinks journaling is really good and very beneficial, which we we obviously saw like back in episode 4. Oh my gosh, Episode 4. And I don't know, I wonder if Nick told her about his journaling experience. But of course, naturally, she has to rope Henry into her gay agenda. The gay agenda being journaling and being Tara, being a lesbian. The gay agenda. Journaling can be part of the gay agenda. Exactly.

That's fair. I would like to think that he did tell her about the journaling, but I feel like Nick stopped the journaling once Charlie came back and I was like, maybe you should go back to the journaling because it seemed to have helped you. Yeah. Hey, man, your struggles haven't ended either. Just because he's home. Yeah. Keep doing that gay agenda, all right? There's no transition into this. So afterwards we head over to Drum where sex Ed is happening. Oh God.

The best class ever. Mean Girls flashback. Yeah. Anyone. I'm sure Mr. Lang can agree that it's the best class ever. No, literally opening in this scene. You can just hear in his voice, his tone he's not thrilled about. He's literally only doing this because it's part of the curriculum. He doesn't want to be here either. It's awkward. That sounds awful, teaching teenagers about this in a whole class format. Yeah, it does sound fucking awful.

OK, But timely. Because what's been going on with Nick and Charlie, This is all that they can think about. South Charlie is with Tao and Isaac in this class, and he's expressing his anxiety over how he wants to have sex with Nick. But he's like, in his head about it. And it's like really reasonable things that he's worried about. Like, he feels like he's like, well, I don't know what I'm doing because we haven't done this before and I'm nervous.

What if it's awkward and, and he's like, well, because I'm having this anxiety, maybe that's my intuition saying I'm not ready for this. And he's kind of just kind of spiraling and grappling with it because like, how do you know when you're ready to do something like this? Like it, Like no one teaches you any of this. So like these are very reasonable thoughts that he's having. And he's really like, he's like, help me friends. It's a good class which is.

Yeah, I think it's a really good point that he makes like saying like if I'm feeling this nervous, maybe I'm not ready and it's like, well, totally. Maybe that's the first step is maybe at this exact moment you're not ready because you're freaked out solely he they're not ready solely because he is nervous and they haven't talked about it.

Maybe part of that nerve is because they need to talk a little bit more about it. They haven't, like explicitly said, at least that we have seen yet, like that they want to have sex. They haven't had that conversation directly with each other yet. They've simply just like, like in the last episode, they were trying at some point and things got a little bit too much for Charlie. So I think that's also something that he hasn't quite tackled yet.

Obviously, he's still learning to manage his body dysmorphia, get his confidence back. So maybe at this exact moment, he isn't quite ready for it. And that's where a lot of the anxiety is coming from. So it is, it's a fairpoint like and honestly the the difference between it like literally could just be they just need to have another conversation and then he might feel ready. So those are all really good

points. The other thing too is like sometimes you're just if you haven't done something before, you're going to be nervous. Like that's just a part of like jumping into the unknown. Sometimes you'd have all the conversations in the world and like, sometimes you're just it just being nervous is just kind of part of it. And like, you don't conquer that until you do it kind of thing. But like, yeah, you're right. Talking about it and creating a safe environment, all that kind of stuff.

Yeah, super important for anything that's new. But nerves are normal because, you know, we're animals that lived in the wild at one point and were like danger. Let's not, you know, danger. And now we just have anxiety about like, I have to talk in front of a room of people and it's not going to kill me, but if my body thinks I am going to die, so. Yeah, I think they like, obviously, like in the class itself, they don't tackle how do

you know you're ready either? I think if I remember right, this might be the Mandela Effect tricking me. But I think if I remember right, in the comics, there is like somebody who says how do you know you're ready? Yeah. And naturally the question doesn't get answered because they're like this. But that's not what we're going to talk about. We're going to talk about contraceptions or whatever. And it's like, but they it's a real question.

It's a real question that they ask is how do you know you're ready? So yeah. Classes stick to facts. Don't talk about life. Yeah, or like in our. Cases it's we were taught. Just don't. You're a teenager, don't have sex. Yeah, we'll get into that. What's the difference between the US and the UK? And we'll get into that. OK, so then this scene

continues. And basically because Charlie's all anxious and Isaac's like, well, it's a good thing we're in sex Ed, maybe you'll get some good advice. And then cucumbers and condoms arrive and Isaac's like. Or not which like what's? My favorite part? It's all good. I love it. Great timing, Toby. Great job. Well. Done, Toby. Also, where the hell are they getting these cucumbers? Like I don't know. My, my question is, I don't know how it works in the UK with how they supply their lunches.

I'm assuming they kind of just have like certain, just like certain companies that supply their food like they do here in the US. But like, do do the companies know that they're supplying these cucumbers for this reason? I don't know. That's just. There's a whole company that sells sex Ed cucumbers. Wow, Wow. It's, it's what, what is it like April at this point in the show? There's like, wow, April's like our really busy month for fresh produce. What is up with that? That's so weird.

What is up with that? They're not, I don't know if they're in season. I think they're in season in summer, aren't they? Which is like what makes it funnier. It's like I don't. Know, I know zucchini or summer, I don't know, I'm sure my key covers, but in general, I I really like this scene, though, from the because you're getting this from the point of view of the students, and I like that this while like while like safe sex, learning safe sex practices is important.

There's also this like psychological and emotional component that comes to this topic that is 100% not addressed in school and is equally as important, which is the whole crux of this conversation that's happening in the middle's class. Yeah, I think, I think we had talked about this too in book club when we did volume five book club. But they they don't even talk about consent, which is like the most baffling thing on top of like how do you know you're not

ready? They don't talk about anything about consent, which I have no idea if any of that has changed in modern day. Haven't been in high school in what, 15-10, Fifteen years? I don't know. How old am I? Like 10 years. Yeah. I'm like, how old am I? I have been in high school in like 10 years. I have no freaking clue. And my sex Ed was basically nothing. It was like one day of an hour lecture and that was it. So it's like, I don't know

what's changed. So, but that was like something we never talked about at all was consent. I didn't even understand what consent was until probably college. Like understanding that concept at all, which is wild. Like it just says a lot I think, but. Yeah. So let's let's compare. That's the great, great intro

into comparing. We're all we all grew up in the United States of America, which OK, unfortunately, let's talk about real quick comparison of the USA, how they handle sex Ed versus the UK. OK, I did a little bit of research into this. So in the USA, for those that aren't from America, just remember this country was colonized by Puritans who were religious fanatics that got kicked out of England. So that's how they ended up

here. And so those puritanic values of just like sex's sin is still prevalent. So I grew up in the southern part of the United States, which is where the religious fanatics are clustered still. And so my sex education class was an taking an abstinence pledge. That's how we learned about sex. They're like, don't do it. Sign this pledge. At the time I was like, yeah, no, I never want to have sex with men. Absolutely never done that. I'm stuck to that. So like, yeah, like, it worked.

I was like, no, that sounds all sounds awful. I never want to do any of this. Thank God I'm gay. There you go. So anyway, when I stuck to it, good job, Southern school. But OK, the thing about the US is like sex, and that was my experience because I grew up in the South. But like, sex Ed in school in general is not controlled federally. There's federal funding for things which they're trying to take away right now. So who knows by the time this comes out if that would be a thing.

But the actual curriculums vary by state. So sex Ed is part of the curriculum, but how you implement that it varies state by state. So in the state of Florida, you can do religious abstinence only teaching versus in the state of California, it's more like safe sex practices is exactly what you saw in this in this scene, but it's more like here's what it is. Here's like how you prevent diseases like that kind of

stuff. It's more like biological public health type of information that you're giving them, which as a healthcare provider who deals with sex or transmitted infections is part of my job. Also, it's important to know these things for sure to keep yourself safe and other people safe too. In the United States of America in school, like, you know, for minors, parents can opt their children out. So it's not it's they have to teach something as part of the curriculum.

But like kids, if the parents are like, no, because parents rights, they can pull the kid out and then the kid doesn't learn it because the parents are like, I'll teach it at home and then they never do. So good job. I don't know what your experience was with sex Ed, Caitlin in Pennsylvania, Pennsylvania. I don't know what. It was Pennsylvania. I had some in like they kind of started in 6th grade in New

Jersey with like the anatomy. Yeah, they separate with anatomy in middle school, Yeah, but yeah, they separate you too, which is like ridiculous. It's like. High school biology, yeah, High school, we weren't separated. We did learn about sexually. We didn't do cucumbers. They sexually transmitted diseases, safe sex and all that. It's very quickly because no one, no one actually wants to talk about it. The teacher doesn't want to talk about it. We don't want to talk about it.

So we just kind of go through it. And then we used to go on field trips to get smoothies instead. Oh my God that's wild. So basically nobody learns anything in America? So what you're making my curiosity is how many people can relate to this? But like most of my actual what I when I genuinely learned what's about sex. Like everything I learned like from like high school on was all from reading fan fiction. Yes. That is, yeah. Yeah, I actually teach you about sex.

Like for real? Yes, fan fiction is the best fan. Fiction is the best. Yeah, and it's like some of it obviously was like written by people who have also like 14 year olds who have never had sex either, but. Which is also amazing. If anything that just made me more scared of it just like oh God. True. You know, you're like, OK, this sounds awful. Like, oh, wait, there's blood involved.

And I find out later, like growing up, like, no, that's, that's just called they did it wrong or whatever. Like whatever. Yeah, just when you, when you listen to or read people's stories that have obviously know nothing about it, it's really funny. But that's kind of the beauty of fanfiction is people can just write whatever the fuck they want, so. That is the beauty. I do want to say that like my high school, we did learn this stuff, but it's just so focused

on heterosexual people. Also that that. I none of it pertained to me. I didn't at the time also because I'm like just I can't. I didn't understand or I didn't accept myself yet. So but I knew that I didn't like dudes. I tried. I tried to like I just mentally sat there and like, I can't do it. I can't. I just can't. But yeah, so like, never knew what a dental dam was until ATV show, I think. Like they don't teach you anything else. It just you have to be straight, Yeah.

Because it's really about preventing babies or whatever the fuck. Yeah, yeah, that's a really good point. It doesn't take into account many, many things. It's very basic. Again, you can, parents can opt you out of it. And then what you learn in the United States varies by what school you're in, because it's up to your state. And if you have really conservative religious people in charge of your state, they could be like, no, sex is the sin.

We will not teach kids this. And then it's like garbage, which is what I learned. It's don't have sex. That's what you learn, which is not educational at all. We did not get the abstinence thing. We have a pledge too. It was ridiculous, The.

Other thing that's always been so upsetting to me, like now as an adult knowing it, the fact that I didn't know it growing up is like, because even like just like being so strict about it being purely heterosexual sex Ed there, there's only ever talk about like what the man's supposed to do for himself. That's also the other part of it that's always infuriated me is like, this is how you put a condom on.

It's like, OK, but like, how do you make sure the woman isn't hurt by this whole process as well? Like because they don't talk about how painful it can actually be if you do it wrong. Specifically for the woman, not for the man, but for the woman in a heterosexual relationship. So that's the other part that as an adult has kind of made me

kind of mad. Like just that's another implied misogynistic concept that is still prominent in even just in heterosexual sex Ed. It's like, come on, people. Yeah, from a like mechanical, like actual like sexual health point of view, that is such a good point. I will say really quickly before we move over to the UK, in my education, it was also heavily misogynistic because part of the abstinence only class was being like, it'll tarnish your

reputation as a woman. And it's like, but it was all emphasized on like how the woman's reputation is tarnished by having sex, but then the men are treated like gods for having. I'm like this. I'm like, who are they having sex with? If like the women aren't allowed to have sex, I'm like, can you guys have sex with each other and just leave us alone? And like, there you go. Like leave us alone. Like why it doesn't? I'm like, who are they having sex with then? Like this is insane.

That's our sex with class. OK, so let's go over to the UK. So the UK is very is different but there's some similarities. So I looked this up. So things have changed. I don't know from when heart from when heart supper was written it looks like, but I don't know how this went in the show. So correct me if I'm wrong if you live in the UK, but this is what I found by looking this up. In 2020 a new standard came out which makes this a mandatory

part of their curriculum. It's called the Relationship, Sex and Health Education Initiative or it's now the standard for UK schools. I will say just like in America, parents can opt their kids out of this if they don't want them to learn it. But it's mandated to be taught in schools. And I think it goes, I forgot how far back it goes, but it can start when they're younger. But like the guidelines are different from when they're

younger. I'm focusing on high school because they're in high school, but I have a link if you want to look into it. Actually no idea right now. So in primary school, when they're younger, it focuses on building healthy relationships like from among family and friends. So there you go, your boundary setting. That kind of stuff they do teach us as of 2020. I wish we'd learned that. Right in secondary school it deals more with the health focused approach to sexual relationships.

So like the cucumbers and condom demonstration we see in heart supper, but they're also taught about sexuality, gender identity, which is now illegal in American schools as of the time of this recording. So in the UK it seems to be less hetero focused and I, I appreciate the here's what a healthy relationship looks like for kids. Like that is an age appropriate thing to talk about for kids to protect themselves and like be equipped with that knowledge.

And so I do like that the secondary school, at least as of 2020, the initiative was like, hey, let's broaden the scope of this and deal with some of this more emotional, psychological stuff that has to do with the actual relationship part between humans. So that is really cool. I don't know how effective it is or what that actually looks like. If you're, if you've had experience with this, let us know what it was like. Sounds great. Their website. Yep. OK, so back to the scene.

So Tell and Isaac are in agreement that Charlie should just do it because they're tired of hearing about this. And like, clearly Charlie wants to because he wouldn't be so fixated on this if he didn't want. To Why did my brain just go? Just do it. Like, yeah, it's very Nike, Charlie. Just do it, yeah. But specifically in China, Boss boys just. Do it. Oh yeah. Make your dreams come true. I don't know. That's just remember when. That's really funny because like also courtesy of closed

captioning. I wouldn't have caught this otherwise. Again, Caitlin, thank you for introducing me to captioning and how great it is. But there's a point at the end of the scene where Mr. Lang starts scolding some of the other students because they're like, playfully like trying to whack each other on the head with their cucumbers. Boys. I'm like, I bet this was improvised if it wasn't still

like genius writing. But this is like, that is like so painfully accurate to like how high schoolers would act in a sex head class. And yes, I'm calling myself out on that because that would be me because I didn't I didn't have cucumbers in my high school class probably for that reason, because I would have done that shit. Also, again, like we just hear him say like at the end, we're here to talk about contraception. Again, I would have missed that without captions.

But it's like, yeah, apparently that's literally all we're here to talk about, not anything else that we just that we just covered. Great. Good job, Mr. Lange. I do wonder though, because like in in the United States, like back, well, like, I don't know, who knows sex that might be illegal by the time maybe this comes out. Who knows in sex in America, probably, it's probably where this is all headed.

But I know that like if the standards say you can only talk about this stuff like the the teacher legally cannot talk about anything else because then it takes one one parent to be like they were doing this and indoctrinating my kid and blah, blah, blah. And they're trying to fire the teacher for just trying to answer questions from kids. So like in the comic, like we talked about, this devolves into a whole bunch of questions from the students who are like, how

do you know when you're ready? Like they, they want to know the things that Charlie and Isaac and Tao are kind of all talking about. But like the teacher kind of doesn't really answer because I wonder legally at that time, they couldn't answer these questions. It's not what they don't want to.

It's just like, I legally cannot answer these questions because your parents will fire me. Like, because it's always like, parents should have these conversations, but then the parents don't have the conversation and the kid never learns anything so. Yeah. And also just like the question of how do you know you're ready? That's a very, there is no straightforward answer with that, with that kind of question. So that's that is another tough spot for a teacher to answer

that. But yeah, like how how do you answer that to a student? Like in a way that like makes sense to where it's like it kind of just depends. Like, I mean, what else do you say? Like it really just depends. That's what you want to talk. About what's going on with your partner. Yeah, like that's really like, it's like having to have a one-on-one conversation to really gauge properly.

But like, talk to your partner. That's like, yeah, the long and short of this, talk to your partner, but what do we talk about? I don't know. That can be. Well, Charlie in the midst of this decides to talk to his partner, so he starts texting Nick with a very playful smile on his face. And then we cut away. So let's see what they're talking about. Oh my God, yeah. So in this next scene we go to, it is Nick and his rugby friends, Cy, Otis and Christian. They're all sitting together at

this table. They're trying to fill out these charts. What they're trying to plan out their future, which, first of all, they make these poor high schoolers do this kind of shit. At 16, I'm like, I have to have, like, everything figured out about themselves. Like, at this age, it's so stressful. Like it's crazy that that has not really changed in the last 20 years. You know, like having to figure out what career do you want for the rest of your life.

Yeah, it's like. Also, you see family on here like, oh, you should be getting married and having kids, OK. That's that. Yeah, that's fun. Also, this chart for my brain. I just just a little rant about where my brain is. This chart is very visually confusing for me because it's like you look at the center box, it's like, OK, that makes sense. It's like almost like, OK, is it a web chart? Like what is this? But it goes to like the four corners and it's like, OK, but

it's corners. So like where where in the boxes do I feel? Wait, which box is assigned where? Which box is assigned to which empty space? I like it's probably not that deep. I'm probably overthinking it but for my brain that would have me sitting there just like the fuck so it. Kind of just looks like a jellyfish to me. Yeah, so that's that's the whole thing. It's like that would stress me out. But then also just like thinking about my future, like good God. So.

And of course, at the same time we hear at the other table, we hear Harry, who this is only the second time we've that I think we've heard his voice in this season and he's at the other table and he's bragging about some alleged hookup that he had Speaking of sex, some hookup that he had with some girl. And it was raising the question of did this actually happen? Did he actually hook up with her? Because he makes it sound like he did.

But but I think it definitely stopped right before and then he's just making it up. I didn't know that he got in a room with a girl. He gives me in cell energy. So I'm going with no. And this is all like, again, to go back to the misogyny, like it's like the woman is the prize in order to impress other men. So he's just trying to impress other dudes. That's the only reason he's telling those stories. So like, I guess my assumption isn't didn't happen. He's full of shit.

Yeah, it would be pretty typical of Harry, just be that kind of bullshit, wouldn't it be? Yeah, he's misogyny and a character. So like, I'm going with Insel. He's red pill boy. Yeah, you stand up for one friend for being called a bitch and suddenly you're a feminist. No. Right. Yeah. No, absolutely not. A feminist, Yeah. Yeah, right. So yeah. And then then his next slide, he's like, so I thought, why not about like hooking up with her? Like, like she was just kind of like, oh, why not?

I'm just like, first of all, my only response to this was EW, eww. No, yeah, absolutely not. No, get out of here. Throw my man away. Yeah, like I he's only been in this season twice so far for like all together like probably 10 seconds. And I think that's the biggest ick I've had this whole season

so far. And that's valid, but a moment of appreciation to the rugby lads because they start talking with Nick and basically they look really put off by Harry's display of toxic masculinity, which I appreciate about them. And then they go off in this little side conversation where they talk about like, oh, like losing your virginity and that kind of stuff. And how like they feel nervous now. Like virginity is a concept. I understand that. But like, I'm still nervous

about this. And I appreciate that, again, coming from boys because normally we only ever get hairy, the toxic masculinity point of view when it comes to sex. So I really appreciate this more realistic version of what like boys actually feel versus what they're projecting out loud. So because patriarchy, so like this type of representation to me is really, really important to show like, like it's OK boys to also be nervous. Like that's life.

Like it's OK. You're not supposed to know exactly what you're doing and be the tough guy and like you're you're allowed to not know what the hell is happening because you don't know what's happening. You're 16. Right. You go with your life. I like this friend group because like, even when Christian like openly says like I am nervous about it.

The other boys are kind of just like, yeah, yeah, they don't You you would think in like a typical, you know, toxic masculinity group, there's going to be this whole like, oh, come on, man, it's not going to be that big of a deal, right? But they're all just kind of collectively like, yeah, it is. It's a bit scary. So I appreciate that this whole group is like supporting each other with that whole idea.

And of course, while they're having this very supportive conversation, Nick gets a text from the the text that Charlie sent about him being in sex Ed. And Nick asks, what are you guys learning about? And Charlie responds, they're putting condoms on cucumbers, the same thing they did last year. That's really. Yeah. So basically haven't learned shit this year because it's the same thing they do every year, Nick. Oh Nicholas.

It's like it's like perfect timing that they're talking about it at the same time that Charlie sends this text. I wonder why cuz then Nick decides to respond. Maybe you should try it not on a cucumber sometime. OK, that response point. But then Charlie's iconic reply is gay. It's perfect.

It's so funny, yeah. I'm like Nicholas Nelson, you are bold, and you're lucky enough that the other boys are not peeping over your shoulder right now because like, Christian could easily just peek over and be like, what the hell are you saying, dude? So Oh my God it was so funny though. But Charlie's not lucky, because who's not so stealthily looking over his shoulder? Tao. Tao comes in the frame. He's like, what you doing, Charlie?

He's like, how dare you, Tao? I love, I love his response is just the way you 22 flirt is so weird. And I'm like, hey, you know what? It's just he's not wrong. But it's really funny. I think there's no. Wrong way to flirt. It's fine. I don't, I don't remember. I feel like it is in the show. Maybe I'm wrong, I don't know. But it's in the comics when Charlie says gay, Nick says, Oh no, I've been outed. Oh yeah, I can't remember. I don't. Think it's in the show? I think it's. The comics.

But it's the comics. It's so funny. Gay. Oh no, I've been outed. That's the best response. I know, it's so cute. Yeah, yeah. Oh. So then also, like in this last scene when they're talking about Christian being nervous about losing virginity there, there was a scene in the comics where Nick at this point hasn't really thought about having sex with Charlie yet in the story.

And so it kind of just all hits him all at once where he starts realizing, like, wait, he starts having like this big fantasy montage about like Charlie. And like, suddenly he's like, oh, wait, hey, I kind of like that they switched it up for this show because it feels a lot more like a natural gradual progression. I like that it's not just all at once. Suddenly Nick's having these feelings. It's like it's been a very, very gradual progression with these two.

But it could also just be because there were like like a lot of time jumps in the in the story. Like obviously we go from was like January all the way to April in the comics. I mean, it's we do also in the show, but it's a little bit more gradual. They they had a lot more to work with and trying to progress the timeline in a much more gradual pace.

Also something I forgot to talk about last episode because this is when it would have happened I guess In the comics Charlie has this dream right after the night after him and Nick. Like try to have. Try to have sex and Charlie has like his episode of like his body dysmorphia kind of freaks him out. He has this dream that night where he takes his shirt off in front of Nick and Nick just calls him disgusting. And I honestly like that they

took took it out of the show. I mean it though, it worked perfectly fine for the comics because it did show like kind of that whole idea of like progress is not linear, like healing is not linear. But it seemed to show a much more drastic backslide then I think that Alice really wanted it to, especially with the show, especially just like the the flow of the show with the limited amount of screen time

that they actually have. Obviously comics have a little bit more room, a little bit more wiggle room, but the show like there was a lot of it. There was there were some restrictions with how long they can go with this progression. So I do, I do kind of appreciate that that was cut out because it seemed like it wasn't really adding to the story in this

moment. Like it, that's like it kind of did in the comics, especially because then we transition over to Charlie's therapy session and it just makes a lot more sense in this context. Then we switch over to Mr. Lang goes, and now we're going to look at some St. is. This is great. I'm so happy they kept this, the scene in the comics, from the comics because it made me cackle in the comics and it made me cackle in the show because it's

just so freaking funny. He just like, we don't see the actual photo that he pulls up, but he pulls up some photo and the whole class just goes, oh God, yeah. It's better in the don't show kind of situation where you just get the reaction. It's just great. It's such a teenage boy thing too, to be like, Oh my God, could you imagine what they're looking at?

Oh, I'm so curious. Like I wish we could know if like in the actual filming of that scene, like did, did he actually was there an actual photo that came up? Not necessarily of like what he was supposed to show, but like did they put up something in the boys were supposed to react? Or is that just purely them acting like I? I want to know like was there an actual photo they would react? I was. Wondering that too when I was watching and I was like, yeah. I love the idea.

Like especially 'cause they would have to time it to where everybody reacted at the same time, right? It might. Be easier to like, be like now or like something where they're like, oh, like, give them a cue, some kind of cue. Yeah, or like the whatever the little gesture that Mister Lang does, like whatever it was, I'm like they had to obviously time it to where everybody reacted at the same time. So I'm like, totally. I like to think that they they put something like really funny

up on the projector. Like one of the career cast members, Like, it's like a picture of that. Yeah, that's what I'm picturing. Something like that. I'm like, oh God, yeah. I'm just like, they don't tell anybody. When did they film this? It would have had to. Yeah. OK. Oh my God, it would have had a. Picture of America. Oh God. Yeah, no, just like it just would be like some inside joke between that was my. Yeah, I like to think it's just some inside joke, for sure. Yeah.

So after that, Tao kind of openly confesses, like he he admits that his first time with Elle wasn't as cinematic as he kept saying it was. It was actually kind of kind of messy, like they were in some random person's bedroom, which is still really funny to me that people just do that in some other people's houses. Yeah.

Like, OK, yeah. So anyway, it it's really sweet, like what he actually says in this moment, he says like, maybe we get things wrong, but blah, blah, blah, we love each other. It's me and Elle. It's if it's awkward, we can just laugh about it. And I think it's really sweet. Like it's very important. Like we don't hear this enough like in media about this. Like, yeah, you can. There's no right way to do it except for whatever way that you

want to do it with your partner. That's really the message from this. And I think that that's really it's really well said for sure. But also, Tal, there's no need to wave the cucumber for emphasis, Sir. He goes. He just I don't I don't remember what he says exactly, but he like waves the cucumber in Charlie's face to emphasize his point. And I'm just like, Sir, Sir. Keep that cucumber to yourself. He. He had no consent with the cucumber being in his face. Oh my God, yeah.

And what does Mr. Lang do? He he says, and remember students most importantly points to the screen and it says chlamydia equals bad. That is, that is his final notes for this lecture. And I'm like, I mean yes but aren't all St. is technically bad? This just gave me Mean Girls reference for their like we're like the sex Ed being taught by the coach and he's just like OK, you'll get chlamydia and then you'll die and then he tries to spell it and he spells it wrong on the chalkboard.

This just gave me like a call back to that by just singling out chlamydia specifically. To have sex you'll get pregnant and die or something like that if. You get pregnant and die if. You get pregnant. That that's literally sex Ed in America. Like it's literally that. Like it's just like the South. It's just like that. It's terrible.

I know when we hear Tal say, honestly, I think I should be running the sex Ed lesson and I'm like, yeah, yeah, 'cause you probably just taught a bunch of, you probably taught Charlie way more than Mr. Lang's teaching them right now.

Like I think Tao and Isaac should Co teach it because I feel like from Isaac you'd get like more like detailed description of stuff and Tao would like romanticize a bunch of shit and it's like between the two of them they'd balance each other out and have a good lesson that's engaging and not Clemente and funny and funny. Yeah, Isaac would get. They were dicker. Isaac would be the more practical side of it, and then Tao would be the much more emotional side of it for sure. Yes, that.

'D be actually, Yeah, they they should. I want a mini comic of that now. It doesn't even have to be part of the show. Like I just want to see those. Well no because it wouldn't be Isaac in the damn. OK so I need it in the show. Just write Isaac in as like a guest character just for that. One scene Isaac transfers in. Isaac, cuz I took the chat. Oh, man. Yeah. And then at the end of this, Charlie asks about Elle's interview, which we obviously know from last episode what happened.

And we we are understand that Elle at this point hasn't told the group given that question. She hasn't told the group what happened. Tao only knows because he was there. And Tao or Elle very specifically does not want to talk about it. And you know, I definitely don't blame her, honestly. Like I don't want to talk about it and I I appreciate that Tao respects her privacy. Charlie asks how it went and Tao said I think they decided not to air it.

And it's not a lie like it, it's definitely the truth, but it's not revealing everything. It is still respecting her privacy and and all Charlie says is oh, that sucks. That's it. Yeah, I mean, this is similar to when Nick was getting the questions, where is Charlie? Why is he in school? And it's like, it's not my story to tell kind of thing. I know, romantic or not, normalizing people, not prying into people's business. Yeah, exactly. Boundaries, boundaries.

Love to see it. Yeah, Speaking of the interview, it's still getting to ELF, which fair. I mean, it just happened. That was, it's always going to be an impact in her mind. So Elle is an art class and she's scrolling through Instagram and. Basically all. She's seeing is headlines about what's happening in politics and everything is being super transphobic, and she's just getting extremely discouraged

and frustrated. And at the risk of like, saying this too much, especially in this episode, Elle is all of us in the US right now. Because this is exactly what it feels like to open your phone and just scroll. This is all you see. Yeah. And I thought, and unfortunately, like that is the reality, like trans people are being scapegoated, not just in America, like across the world with this far right extremism stuff that's taking over the world, unfortunately.

So yeah, it is. It's unfortunate to see that and. What's also interesting about this scene is that Elle is in the art class where she's doing the self-portrait And so she's the teacher comes up to her and is like, how you doing Elle, blah, blah, blah. And then Elle's like, I don't like my I don't like this anymore, like the self-portrait that she's doing. Which made me wonder if like this is Elle kind of speaking about herself or like the way the way the world sees her.

Because like you said, scrolling on the phone seeing all the transphobia and how for being just for being trans for no other reason. She's hated by many people politically, used as a political pawn, that kind of stuff that interviews fresh off her mind. Now here she is trying to do a self-portrait and she's like, I can't even look at this and say I like it because the world hates me basically.

So to me, it's almost like this experience she had with the interview hurt her so deeply that it's like making her second guess a lot about herself. Because if you think about Elle, like, yeah, Elle like it wasn't smooth, complete, smooth sailing like the her transition, things like that.

But Elle does have a really supportive friend group, parents, Tao, like a really supportive boyfriend, that kind of stuff that kind of like insulates her from a lot of like the transphobia out in the world. So then to like leave the safety bubble and then get attacked by a stranger basically in that interview, like it must be like this like regressive kind of thing in her mind that it's like not her fault whatsoever. It's just like being attacked

for no reason other than that. And like when she's usually in a safe space, like, and I feel like that's making it really did hurt her personally in such a very deep, deep way that she's like, how do I look at myself portrait and say this is beautiful anymore when the world is now? I just had this experience again where the world is telling me otherwise, which is really horrible and really sad. But especially if it's like a strong, beautiful person like Elle, it's really hard to watch or.

Go through this. And in the last episode, we said that the interview treated her like she's an object, not a person. So especially looking at this self-portrait, she's not seeing herself anymore because these people made her feel I'm not really less than, but they they took her joy away. And really, like you said, this,

this used to be her safe space. And we could have gotten L in the opening montage with the with Tara and Nick, and she would be losing herself an art to cope with everything that happened in the interview. But because this interview, it's like it stole a piece of her safety net and love of art that she doesn't even want to do it anymore.

And that's the most damaging aspect of all of this is that now, because we're not treating these people like people, we're telling them that they're less than and taking away their humanity. And it's awful. I think there's something else to be said about like the parasocialism of the fact that she got this big following on Instagram and that's kind of where this whole thing started with getting the interview and everything.

And just like the whole, I mean, it's this has been an issue like just with people on the Internet in general is like people not understanding that the people you see on your Instagram feeds, the people you see on your YouTube videos you watch, hey, they're all living people with minds of their own, with lives of their own, with feelings. And it's so interesting. Like not like this hasn't been said a million times on this platform, especially by queer people or felt.

Yeah, right. So it's interesting like this kind of this in that way kind of also like approaches this like, hey, you got famous on Instagram and you're also a human being who does this thing that is art person with feelings. What? So yeah, that's that's just been

an underlying thing for so long. But what's even more heartbreaking is L goes, I should have expected it because part, I mean, partially because of that parasocialism, but more especially because being a trans person, being a trans woman, she should expect that this is how she's going to be treated. And of course, the teacher immediately jumps in and says, no, no, you shouldn't, which absolutely the teacher is fully right. No, she shouldn't expect this.

It is unfortunate. This is the pattern, but no, you shouldn't expect it. It is it's fucked up what happened. So that is so heartbreaking. That is what what she says is I should have expected it L, And then L basically says, I don't want to talk about it anymore. She feels so stuck in this endless cycle of she's she's put in this box, she's treated like this object. She's become so resigned to this idea that she will never be accepted by the world. And that that is heartbreaking

to think about. But I get it, obviously. Like I don't empathize because I haven't. I'm not in those shoes. But like, I, I get it, girl. Justice for Elle, Yes. Justice for Elle and all of the people who identify with Elle around the world. Justice for trans, trans kid trans people. Justice for trans people? Yes, everywhere.

In the scene, I also feel for the teacher though, because the teacher did help facilitate this interview and probably feels responsible for at least a little bit of it, even though it's not the teacher's fault obviously. But they're also witnessing one of their talented students love and passion for this art fade away. The Elle is a shell of herself right now and that is heartbreaking to watch, especially when the teacher is basically else mentor in this world right now.

So I just the the teacher's going through it as well, not knowing how to help her. I don't know how to transposition to this next scene either, so. Let's go back to Nick and Charlie. Yeah. So Nick is still lost in Charlie, and Nick can't handle the electricity that's literally radiating off of them whenever they're in a scene together right now. So he basically drags Charlie back to his house and like, did he even tell Charlie like anything? Where Charlie just like, why?

Why are we doing this? Why are you so excited to get home? They both have sex on the brain so no thoughts, just hormones. That's their scenes together. So this is normal. I wonder if like they're just still have the the previous text conversation in their minds of that too. Try it on a cucumber, not on a cucumber, some type gay. I wonder if that's like because I know in the comic Charlie goes like so that text you sent, Do you know how cringe you are? And next, like what are you

going to do about it? And that kind of instigates it. So I wonder, I like to think that maybe that's the conversation that was happening while we're running home. That's fair. OK, so things do get a little heated in bed. And of course David barges in and Nick overreacts in my opinion and starts yelling at David not to come in. Not cool at all. Just like starts flipping out on him. He's like. Nothing is really happening. Like you could have played it cooler and made it look like you

were just cuddling or something. Still, David would have said something. About it. But yeah, but to be fair, in Nick's head he's already 2 steps ahead of what they're actually doing right now, which is why he freaked out. I just love the way everyone forgets about David because I forgot about him until he barged into the scene. I was like God you again.

David. Why does this fuck head never knock like first of all like that he has never knocked once, he's rude and anytime he's appeared in the show he never knocks ever. It's like, dude, like could you imagine growing up with a sibling? I don't, I don't know if anybody else has, but like growing up with a sibling who first of all comes into your room unannounced, doesn't knock. Like, first of all, that's got to take a toll on your relationship if you have one. Second of all, privacy. Who?

Absolutely not. Seriously, that would drive me insane. I'm sorry, but like that somebody who doesn't knock before entering somebody's bedroom, I think is like one of the most telling things about a person. Privacy, man, come on. But it was really funny is Charlie just says, well, I'm glad. I'm just glad it wasn't your mom. I'm like, it's OK, boys, you're safe in that department. Mom hasn't been home all season. You're fine. Because she doesn't exist at the

moment. So you're fine, woman. 'S doing things right now you're good. You wouldn't have cared. Yeah. That's like, here's some condoms to your to you. Bye. Right. She'd be like, OK, so did they do sex Ed still like how they did it before? Yeah. OK. So we have to talk a little bit 1st and then I'll let you guys do go to it. Just not when I'm home. Maybe, is what she'd probably be like. Just maybe not when I'm home.

So eventually Charlie probably leaves, like very quickly after that because, you know, they're, they're freaked out. David's home. He can't do anything now. So later that day, Nick and Charlie are texting about being nervous and not knowing what they're doing. And Nick starts this conversation. And I love that he's the one opening up here, especially because we've been so focused on Charlie and Charlie's feelings.

And now it's giving Charlie a chance to be there for Nick by telling him he isn't alone because, you know, Charlie also has no idea what he's doing. Of course, in Nick's mind is like, Charlie's been with technically Ben, but like, not like that. This is new for both of them. And again, you're teenagers. That's the point. You don't know what you're doing. I mean, you don't know what you're doing at any point of life because you know, you're all your experience at all for

the first time. Yeah, it's really true. And I love that in the scene, like, again, the two of them are going to get into their heads a little bit after they're texting each other about the things that's caused them anxiety. But I love that Nick is supported by both dogs in the scene. I didn't notice Nellie at first because Nellie kind of like blends in a bit more, but like he's got Henry, he's holding and then Nellie's next to him, which is very cute. And then Nellie's just living

well. Echo's living his best life, just being able to lay there. Laying on the bed just cuddling and then as we know from the bloopers that that pug just does not like to sit still. So how many takes did it take for them to do this? Just one shot. Seriously, this dog is such a brat. Yes, I'm. Surprised they did not. I mean, I guess they really couldn't get rid of the dog because the Henry's in the book. Well, yeah, they they had to

switch out which dog it was. I know that like mid season they had to swap out or something. Yeah, they got a new dog. Yeah, but it had to be a pug. Looks like pugs all basically look the same so. I mean, yeah. I mean, you know what I mean? If they had to like swap out Nelly, it'd be a lot harder to find like another Nelly that's exactly like echo. Like pugs all relatively look similar so it's a bit easier. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, it's like you. And my dog, they all look very

different. Yeah, their coats can really vary, like collie's. Collie's coats, like patterns can really vary for sure. Whereas like Pugs, it's pretty much like either it's like this color pug or this color pug, right? It's with the size. How many rolls do they have? Yeah, there. You go. But I do want to thank production for giving me both dogs in a scene again, because Nick definitely needs both of his motion support pups and I do too. Yeah, so very true.

So at the end of the scene, like after they they're texting for a bit about I don't know what I'm doing and sex and being vulnerable or whatever, Charlie is at his drum set. And then he looks over his shoulder and sees his reflection in the mirror, as if to hint to the audience that, like, Charlie's body dysmorphia is still one of the mental blocks that he's having when it comes to physical intimacy with Nick.

But what I found really interesting when I was watching this was that like there is a there are similar scenes that we've seen with Charlie looking his self reflection. And like you see that kind of doubt happening. I think in the prior episode or a couple episodes ago, basically we had the scene where Charlie was like looking at himself in the mirror with Tao and Isaac in the room. And the mirror at that stage was physically closer to Charlie.

This is when his body dysmorphia was really peaking versus now when he's at the drum set, the mirror's physically a lot further away. So it's kind of like, it's to Elena's point that like this recovery, this whole Charlie overcoming or dealing with his body dysmorphia, it's not linear, right? It's, you know, there's ebbs and flows to this type of like anxiety that he has about this.

But I think by physically placing the mirror and therefore his self reflection further away, it's kind of showing that like he's getting better at overcoming this. It's not as crippling as it was when it was like right up in his face and like really causing him anxiety. But like, it's still there because again, he goes to therapy, doesn't like turn off. Like it's still part of his journey. It's just not as crippling as it

was before. So I do like that little detail of like Charlie on his road to recovery still while he's just living his normal life. Like it's his mental health stuff is still there in the background like that he's dealing with. So I like that. And I also like that they show Charlie looking over the mirror but then they go to Nick and show him looking over at the UNI options and it's just showing that they both have something weighing on them at this point in the background of their

relationship. Yep. Yeah. Also just shout out to the the music in the scene, especially like the transitional music between scenes is like, again, one of my absolute favorite things about the production on the show is the music, especially Addie's car chase and the art they make. And so in this scene, the melody, it's it's the same

melody. It's part of the same melody from the theme from Nick and Charlie's first kiss in Season 1, but it's in a lower key and it's got a little bit of different background vamping mixed in. So I, I like to call it Part 1 of the kiss theme. Part 2 comes later in the episode. But I just love that they use it as a transition.

But also kind of it, it's kind of just like in the example I gave like in episode 2 when they were in Nick's bedroom or not Episode 2, sorry, episode 3 when Nick had his birthday present and that music played and it was the same music as previous season. I just, I love this repetition of the music, but with new elements added, different key added. Just it's so, so beautiful. So and it shows how far they've come in their relationship. So from their first kiss to this precious.

Everything always, utter perfection, always include. The music is always on point. Always always always. Thank you for pointing out those little details. It's just makes it more special. I forgot where my transition was, so we'll just keep going. So we shoot on over next to Tao and Elle, who are hanging out in Tao's room. And Elle's like in her head about the interview stuff and what's been bothering her. And Tao is doing art. And he's like, look, I've gotten better at drawing fish.

Maybe I can be a really specific kind of artist that specializes in goldfish. And I must say, Tao, you have gotten better at your goldfish. So wait, way to go. Tao, good for you. So important. I love it. And not only is this cute, it's really sweet because it makes Elle laugh. Because Chao should, you know, be in town. And Tao is naturally charming. And Elle is not 100% OK after

the disaster interview. And he asks her, is there, you know, is there anything I can do to make you feel better? And she nods. And then just like leans into town and how just kind of holds her. So like Elsa at the point where she wants to like talk about this, but like having his support, like physically like is

really important and does help. And so I love the scene between the two of them because really like, they have come such a long way with their communication and I just love that about them. I know another another shout out to the music team. End of this scene it's got Towanelle's theme that is vamping as we transition into the next scene and I just want to say I love that as Car Chase does this with the thing.

The great thing about Heart Stopper is it is a combination of that soundtrack and also a pre made list of other songs from other artists combined into one big musical arrangement for this show. And I love that what Addie's Car Chase does with the songs that are already pre made or I don't know how else to properly say it, but made by other artists

that are brought into the show. And they use that to their advantage by transitioning, like using their music to transition into these songs by matching the key, matching kind of the energy matching like the backgrounds, like the vamping in the background. It's, it's just so well done, like how they're able to match and flow right into it.

And I think that this is like a really good example of it in this scene, when we transition into the song that's playing in the next scene, it matches the key, it kind of matches the energy, but it still fits what is happening in the moment. It's like there has to be a different a better way to explain this that makes more sense for non music people. But yeah, that's that's the. It definitely makes sense for sure. And So what is the next scene?

So the next scene we cut over to Darcy and Tara aggressively making out in Darcy's room. And Tara is like, look, I'm going through some shit, but I'm going to do what I want, including Darcy, which I love. You know Darcy's Darcy's line that includes doing me. It's such a Darcy line, but like Darcy line and where they are in this relationship. But it's so it's honestly just funny. It really is. Yep. We go from that into the next. I presume it's the next day or

something like that at school. The The boys are in their form. It's apparently Charlie's last day in form before he has to go into study hall, which if I remember, we remember Nick having to do that last season with sitting next to Ben. So Charlie seems like his is going to be a lot less miserable, thankfully for him. I hope so. I'm sitting next to some asshole like that. So yeah, we see it seems like for what it looks like.

Obviously this is like the same as the comics, but it seems like it's a tradition to have like them all signed the year Elevens shirts. I guess I I tried to look a little bit closer and I couldn't really see very well if any of the other year Elevens or any of the other boys in this class had also signed shirts. It was just kind of hard to tell because they were obviously focusing purely on Nick and

Charlie in the scene. So everybody else was very out of focus and a lot of them were like throwing their Blazers on. So it was kind of hard to tell. So I was like, maybe it is, maybe it's a tradition, I don't know. But we didn't see it with Nick getting his shirt signed last season. So I'm like, Boo, time constraints, I guess. But I will say, can we just take a second to appreciate the fact that Charlie isn't wearing the jumper or the blazer on top of his shirt.

He is just in the button up, which we have literally never seen. Never. Aside from like in a moment where he's like changing into something else, like we never have seen him in just the button up shirt. He is always wearing something to cover himself up more. We've never seen him like this. Our quietly confident boy. So proud of him. Yeah, that was a. That struck me too. I was like, oh, look at Charlie being more exposed physically.

Like that's, that's really huge. Again, his mental health journey like he came a long way. Yeah, so it's really funny. When I saw his scene the first time, I was like, something fell off. Something felt like different. And I was like, Joe looks different. And it took me a second to like, realize I was like, Oh my God, duh. Boy's not. Wearing a stutter. Oh yeah, yeah. So that was, that was really neat to have that little detail.

And then we have Mr. Ajayi when they're like all getting ready to leave class, Mr. Ajayi asked Charlie to stay behind and he gives him an application to potentially apply to be head boy next year. And he tells him he's like, I think you could do a lot of good for the kids at this school. Now that's a powerful thing for one to tell someone like Charlie who has spent so long thinking that they're they're just a burden to everyone around them. They're no good.

They're useless. Hearing that from your teacher saying you could do a you could do a lot of good, you could really impact these kids. So that's like a big thing. But I appreciate that Mister Joey just says it's something to think about over the summer. Doesn't push it any further than that. Doesn't like try to pressure Charlie. He just puts it in his ear. He just puts that bug in his ear. He's just like, just a thought. I personally believe you would

do great, but it's up to you. And as Charlie's, like, about to leave, Mr. Farooq says there are a lot of younger students who would find it inspiring to see him as head boy. We can trust that this probably means specifically queer slash closeted students and even even teens who don't understand themselves at all yet. I mean, they're teenagers. How how can they have themselves figured out entirely? I mean, I don't, as somebody who's almost in my 30s, I don't

know anything. So like, how can you expect a teenager to know everything about themselves? Like. And then of course, we see a brief moment of a young Mr. Farooq sitting in the char in in Charlie's old chair, like sitting in that same chair. We see a little flashback of him, this little little. Yousef, it's all by himself. He's all by himself and he gets the leaves and I'm not crying. You're crying. This is so cute. You're right there, or I am indeed crying. I know.

It's such a I love that they included it because they had to cast this character just for this, like, brief few seconds. Yes. But it's so powerful to show. And I love, I love Farooq's storyline because it's it's subtle, too, but it just shows how much that he does relate to Charlie. Yeah. And it's very sweet to see. Yeah. I really appreciate what the execution of what how Alice did Mr. Farooq's story. Like we don't obviously know every single nitty gritty detail.

We don't know everything. If anything, we know very vague. Like OK, he didn't figure out he was gay till he was older. Didn't realize it in high school. We kind of can gauge from this scene alone. Like OK, yeah, he probably was felt very lost as a young kid, but but she tells us just enough.

And then obviously through Nima's acting as Mr. Farooq, like we're able to just know from what little information we're given that this is a very big journey that this this person has gone on. And it's it just yeah, like what you said, the OR I am crying. It's just so perfect, Like it's so perfect. Yeah, it's just, it's so well executed. It's so beautiful. I know. And then he gets the leaf. What was that about Does How dare you attack me with that

Alice and the animators? And through and through. How dare you all. Yeah, and Mr. Jai Nathan to him, I guess comes up and asks if they should end to lunch, which is really sweet. It's a very sweet transition because like, you see Yousef all like looking at himself and little this little Yousef all alone, feeling very lost.

And then we cut right back to him present day pondering this and is like brought out of this thought by his kind supportive boyfriend who likes to have lunch with him every day and now where he is now in his life. You know, it'd be really cute if they hired a little Nathan to come sit down and just like, hold his hand and look. In that way, it's showing that he's hearing he's healing Farouk's inner child. Oh my God, Caitlin, why do you have to make it? Worse. Make it cry worse.

I know. I guess that'd be really cute. Too cute. I'm going to send all my therapy bills to you now, Caitlin, obviously. I can't afford my. Own. Oh my God. Oh man. So this is a really sweet little scene. And then we cut to back, back to the sadness of Elle. Elle and her slump that she's in now with this whole situation. But now she's got Felix and Naomi who are her her two also

trans friends. They are all staring at L's self-portrait and from what I can tell it doesn't look like she's done too much in like changing the portrait since we last saw it in the previous scene. Isn't like much has changed, but Naomi thought said she's like, I think you might be finished, babe. And Felix says something about posting it to Instagram. And the blank kind of blank looking expression that Elle has

in this moment. You could just kind of tell like what she's probably got going on in her mind. Most likely. She's definitely not wanting to post it to Insta because that fame that she has is what got her into this mess in the 1st place or something along those lines of like this parasocial concept that she got roped into with this interview. And then she says everything that like, we what we talked about in the last episode, I was there to talk about my art. Yes, you were, Elle.

That is literally what they invited you to do. And I'm so sorry that this happened to you. Yeah. So Felix even asks if she has talked to anybody about this, which from what we can tell, no, she really has not because she has made every effort to avoid it. She doesn't want to talk about it because it's just too painful for her. It's just so heartbreaking. And when they suggest have you talked to Tao, you know, makes makes sense.

Like Tao is her partner. Tao is like the most probably if like alongside her parents, they're probably the most support or supportive person in her life, but openly says like she doesn't think that Tao would get it. Always say makes sense, Tao is not transgender. Chao has not been through that specific experience. So Chao would not understand in that sense. And however, he would definitely fight like hell for her. But that is an aspect where she feels very alone is she is

transgender. And that is something that he cannot fully empathize with because he has not had that experience. Just like no, no one can really empathize fully having not gone through that experience. And it's nothing against him. It's just like, that is how it is. And I think it's really sweet that Naomi and Felix both are just like, well, we're here, we might understand because we have been through it. And so I think that's really sweet.

And then they both take your hands and we have this like that little shot. We're like, Elle isn't very responsive when they take your hands, but she's still like, let's them take her hands. So she's still letting them be there for support. So I do appreciate that. Yeah, Yeah, I had a similar take away message from this, the scene that you did. I think it's important, It's an important message like because it really boils down to like the

conversation they're having. Emphasize emphasizes that empathy is important, but it is impossible to fully understand what other people go through just in general. And Elle's life experience is is going to be different from Tao's for a multitude of reasons. And her trans experience is one

of those components. And I feel like that for her, it feels like it's making it hard for her to open up about something that's so specific like to the trans experience that he cannot relate to at all or really like, yeah, I guess related to is the best part because I think he can empathize, but not like, like you said, fully empathize because like he has no baseline experience with what she's going

through. And like, but I think with Tao as that, you know, as the CIS head partner when he was at the interview, like really was so shocking to him to like watch Al go through this. Like he didn't have second hand experience. It's second hand because like to him, he's like, the fact that you're trans is just part of Elle. Like, and I love Elle. I love everything about Elle. Like it doesn't it it, it's not a separate thing about her. It's just her to him.

So like to watch somebody else, some stranger pick apart like little things about Elle, like was so jarring to tell. But like, unfortunately, I think Elle has had experience, some experiences with this during her transition. I think this is just triggering all of that in her again. And for her, like it was like, I think part of her thought I was finally passed all of this and I'm just being seen as Elle. Because the premise of the whole interview was let's talk about

your art. And then they they asked one question and then moved on. They're like, OK, let's talk. Let's focus on your identity now. And she's like, but we're here. I'm here to talk about art like any normal artist, not normal artist or artist, like any artist. Like, why are you picking apart this one piece of me to put under a microscope when like I'm here to talk about art? You know what I mean?

So thing for Elle, I wonder if in art class she's like, will I ever be taken seriously as an artist? Because people are just going to like be like, oh, you're trans, Let's talk about that instead. And she's like, I'm here talking about art, like what the hell? And like part of me an artist is like marketing your art. And she's like, how am I going

to be successful? If like, they're just going to pick apart my identity because it's a new shiny toy for them to get click rage bait ratings, you know what I mean? You know, I think also to your point of how it's so jarring for Tao in the interview is I think it definitely like to your point is something that he isn't used to other people seeing.

And I think like, especially along the lines of like when you look at bullies like Harry, who is, it's very easy to simplify, like minimize them to just their bullies because he, because Harry was always very outspoken about how much he was like transphobic, homophobic was very vocal about like it being a negative thing. Whereas this is kind of the other side of homophobia slash transphobia where people are ignorant. People aren't, aren't just outwardly being assholes and being mean.

They're actually very ignorant in like thinking that they're doing the right thing or that they're trying to be a good like the better person, but they're actually making things worse. They're actually still being very hurtful and then still refusing to acknowledge that what they're doing is hurtful. And so I think that that is the part that Tao is seeing in this

moment. He's just like, oh, and doesn't hadn't realized like this is this is the other part that trans people and queer people and everybody like marginalized people go through. So. Yeah. Yeah, a lot more complicated than he realizes. And I think Elle even says like in this, in this last scene, it's not like the interviewer was a bigot. She probably thinks she's an ally. Yeah. So yeah, like it's, it's just the whole ignorance thing.

That's true, but from sadness we go back to lustfulness. Yes, with Nick and Charlie in the locker room and basically I, they're both checking each other out right now because they're getting changed and they don't even care about hiding anything at this point. To me, the scene was more like Charlie was just changing in front of Nick and was like, OK with it. And then Nick was more checking

out Charlie in my mind. And like he did catch Charlie looking at one point and like you get the huge smile over Nick's face. Which photographic evidence that Nick does like it when Charlie's peeping. He likes it. Yeah, I do think it's interesting. I might be totally reading into this way too far, but it was an interesting choice in this scene compared to the last scene where we see Charlie and just the

button up shirt. And in this scene, he doesn't just put the polo on because that's kind of what I was expecting is Oh well, since he's that confident now, maybe he'll just put the polo on. But he actually puts the sweater back on on top after he takes a moment to look at himself in the mirror and has like that moment of. What do I do? And then puts the sweater on. So it's like either either I'm reading much way too far into this entirely. You know, being the boy that he

is always cold. It's probably, I don't know, it could be just a very chilly day because there are some other boys on the pitch who do put on sweaters as well. So he's not the only one. Again, I'm probably reading way to it far into this. He could just be wanting an extra layer because it's a chilly day. But I was like, is he? Is he having a MO enough taking a step back? Who knows? I mean, it does. Change the minute of the day too. Yeah, true.

Yeah, confidence can be fickle. But when they're heading outside to the rugby field, Nick gets an overwhelming urge to kiss Charlie. So that's what he does while walking to the rugby field. And this, This is why Charlie is playing rugby, for this reason alone. And Nick then asked Charlie to stay over one night and then he. Yes. Do you think your parents would be OK with that? I know my mom would allow it because yes, Nick, your mom, your mom is Olivia Coleman.

Duh. And we were robbed of the condom scene in the car. I'm just I still want it. I know. Yeah, that's one of those. That's one of those things that he couldn't he couldn't do with Haley Atwell because it wouldn't have. Been had to be hers. Yeah, it has to be the mom in that sense. So I I get why they didn't take it, but it's like, leave me a call and please come back so we can have it next season. Do it. Over FaceTime, I know anything. I will take anything.

Just it has to be next season if it's if, if, if anything has to be next season for some reason. But when Charlie gets home, and probably as they're walking home from the bus, Tori bursts his bubble and says there's no way Mom would allow it. I mean, yes, yeah, she's not wrong. And then Michael also speaks facts. Oh my God. He says that there's no point in their mom banning sleepovers because if Nick and Charlie want to have sex, they're going to have sex.

And I would just like to first say I love you, Michael. I love you and all of your lines. You're the best. But second, yes, yes. Because if you're determined to do something, you're gonna figure it out. And that's literally what they do in the show. I mean, you just. Like, OK, And that's the same reality of like the parents were like, I don't want my kids learning about sex in school. And it's like your kid is going to do it either way. Either they do it unsafely or they do it safely.

Like they're going to figure it out either way. Like it's the same time. They're going to start reading fan fiction and get wrong information. That's what I mean. And then it's like, OK. No, I can't. I said that I learned from it too it. Could be the right information, it depends on the fanfic. Don't think you're going to get accurate sex advice. Oh my gosh, that that that tag.

The fact that there are some published books out there that that have like that level of not correct information in the stories, Yikes. Yes, Yikes indeed. There's a whole another topic. That is the outside the scope of this podcast. True, but good point. But Charlie's like, well, if you guys don't have any good advice, I'm gonna go upstairs. This is. And Toy's like, my advice is to sneak out, which I love you, Tori. I love you as well.

And Michael says my advice is that a sleepover is unnecessary for the activity in question. And just the way that this line is just said though, I, I just Michael's the best. Michael is but if you. Yes, Michael. But in this scene, you see Tori kind of leaning against the wall and she kind of looks a little more relaxed in her home. And it's just nice to see her be able to connect with someone like she finally Michael and Tori. Just even just friends, they're the best.

I love friendship. I need to see more. We've been saying this, give it to me. Speaking of thinking of giving things, I'm giving my big gay energy award right now to Michael's line when Charlie's leaving, which is good luck. Hope you get to have your sex sleepover king Michael Holden every time that line the enthusiasm with which it was delivered shouting it in the middle of the spring. Hell also. Everything about this they did not.

Check that if any parents were home, they did not got on a ride home. If the cars weren't there, Nope, they were just shouting this in the hallway. I love it. Thank you, Michael. I was going to say the mom, but I kind of want the dad to walk in and he he'd be like and just walk out because that's what she does. He doesn't do anything, he's avoidance, but yes. No, he would have been like, there's no hanky panky in this house. And Mike will be like, you don't need to do it in this house.

Checkmate anyway. This is just Charlie's, Charlie's facial expression as he's leaving. He's like, yeah, thanks. OK. She's like, you guys are weird, but they're right. So he's just like, can you, can you please stop talking about my brother having sex? Yeah, that's hilarious. Charlie's like Tori, your friends weird by your. Yeah, exactly. I was like. You're he's really wonderful. You're not. Boyfriend is weird. But he's right. But he's right. Alright.

Speaking of boyfriends. So we shoot on over to TA, who's in his room by himself at hard work editing up a bunch of footage of Elle that he has. When he decides to like, take all this footage and create what he's titling. L short film is what he names the the file. And as mentioned previously, like TA would literally fight the entire world for L. And truly his best weapon is his cinematography skills and the power of romance. So he's combining those two things to make a little project

for L, which is super sweet. And I love this scene of just him by himself working on this because he's like smiling and you can see how genuinely happy he is putting this together because it's like his two major passions are converging. It's like L and then movies, making movies, which he gets a lot, you know, he seems and his element in and I also find it incredibly sweet when we get the shot of him at his desk at the computer, like working on this. Is that in the background?

It's the little sunflower that Elle got him and it's just like it's right by his desk. So he's like it's just so cute. It's like the equivalent of like having a photo of like you and your significant other. Like he's just he's got the little Elle reminder right there for like inspiration. It's so cute. He has it on display like how is the cutest. We love, we love a man who shows off what is the gifts from his girlfriend. Yes, sweet, we do. It's sweet.

I also love that Tao has upgraded from beanies to scarves cuz he's a filmmaker now. Yes, Oh my God, it did give me like pair of sophistication. I have an artiste. France putting things together. Yeah, I got that vibe from him. I love, I do love that. Yeah, but also just the the continuous heart stopper theme of having any excuse to add anything rainbow into this without being like over the top. And in this, in this scene, it is the adorable keyboard the Tao

uses. It's got ramming keys on it, which I'm like, where can I buy this? It's really cute. It's so cute. I do love that he has that. I'm like, you're not a gamer Tao. So it's really interesting that he has like this like gaming keyboard, but it's very cute. Maybe he is a gamer, he just only ever plays Stardew Valley. You know what? You know I would in the middle of the night, can't sleep. That could be a whole different conversation of which which which characters play starting

valley and who would they marry? That's a whole different video

that. 'D be a fun one though OK so unfortunately we're going to leave Tao alone while he's being super cute and working and we're going to shoot a number to Tara taking Nick up on the offer to drive her to dance class and during the car ride this is when they have their intimate conversation and they talk about sex so Nick mentions that so Tara's basically like listen she's like here's all the things me and Darcy have done we wait for a house to be empty like all

these things she's like this is our strategy for like being alone to have sex because you don't need a sleepover to have sex like Michael said and then she meant as well sorry. I said including school. I was just getting there. And she's like, well, Nick also school exists. And Nick is like the audacity of you to even do that. Like the way he looked like, Oh my God, I can't believe you too.

But like, can't you though? Didn't they say they locked themselves in like the music room, like the music closet one time? So how else would you pass the time? And like Tara's like low key proud of herself, which I fucking love. But Nick mentions he's like, I don't think this is going to work for me and Charlie because we have a history of being walked in on. Constantly. So that was probably a bad idea school with our karma. I don't think so. And then Tara gets more serious

about the conversation. He's like, well, you and Charlie seem to have waited quite a while before you, like, even got to the stage of, like, thinking about it or trying to plan for it. And that's not a bad thing. She says people should do things at their own pace, which really is the advice of how do you know when you're ready? It's like, everyone's ready at their own time. Some people never want to do it. Look at Isaac. Sometimes you're never ready or you just don't want to.

Or like, everyone's hearing is different. So I like this advice she gives them. Yeah, I like, I like that, she says. There's a lot of pressure at our age to have sex. And I think, and I think honestly like to her point, like that's kind of the age when that pressure kind of starts. And then it kind of just like doesn't end until you hit like a certain, until you hit a certain age.

And like being being older where it's like, I think more commonly, like when you're a teenager, there's the pressure to have sex by your peers. Whereas when you're an adult, the pressure to have sex is bought more by society, especially like the in the more traditional, more misogynistic mindset of like women who need to have children, but they should be married first. Like the whole that whole nonsense. But I feel like it's not talked

about enough in adult shows too. It's like there is that pressure. And again, people should take it at their own pace because I feel like once you're an adult, people kind of just like forget that you are somebody with emotions. And for some people, sex is still scary when they're an adult. And that's OK. So I don't know if I, I don't know if any, but I can speak for anybody else on that.

But like, I've definitely been around that where it's like like growing up as a person who's like more on the asexual spectrum, but not like fully asexual, but like being around people and just hearing all about it and like the expectation of, well, you're, you're already 25. So like this should be like how, how you function. This should be your life now. It should be your relationships now. It's like for you baby, that's great. That's perfect. Like teach their own, but that's not mine.

That's not my life. So so. I've I've been I recently got told you're how old are you? You're 27. How have you not been in a relationship? I'm like thanks for the question that I don't know how to answer. Yeah, I remember this is a friend of mine. So this is, this is kind of a different subject for like a friend of mine. She physically like has an inability, like she has a health thing. She cannot have kids physically

on her own. She can like through IVF and stuff, but like it's a whole different thing. And she went to the doctor and they asked her like, she's like, she's my age. She's 2029. And they asked her like what birth control she's on. And she's like, I'm not on birth control. And they're just like, first of all, they just assumed that she was having sex because she's 29. And then they're just like, well, you need to be on birth control. She's like, I don't need birth control.

And they're just like, why are you Are you not having sex? And she's like, well, no. But it was kind of wild that their first assumption is like, what are you on? It's like, I'm not, well, you should be because surely you're having sex, right? It's like she's married. So it's like it made sense. But like it was the immediate assumption is what's kind of, I think people don't talk about it

enough. Like with adults, it's like that's always the assumption is everybody wants it, everybody's having it, everybody needs it now. I don't know. Yeah, for something that's seen as like forbidden in like this weird puritanical society we're in, there's so much emphasis on it. It's almost like when you make something illegal or like off limits, people hyperfixate on it more than if you just treat it as it's a biological thing that creatures do.

Get over it, right? Anyway, we are where we are. OK? So they're talking about, yeah, having sex, doing things at your own pace. And Nick immediately pivots into Charlie because he's like, well, you know, Charlie's been through a lot. That's why we haven't, you know, done what we, you know, he immediately is like Charlie. It's CCC. But once again, Tara reminds Nick that, like, your feelings matter to Nick because you have also been through a lot.

And I get where Nick is coming from because he saw secondhand how bad things got for Charlie and how hard Charlie struggled to get through his mental health crisis and all the things he was dealing with. And Nick feels like his stress in his life is nothing compared to what Charlie went through. And Tara basically tells Nick, like, if you get fixated on the struggle Olympics, then all you're going to do is be unhappy because that was literally Tara's journey with Darcy.

And she's like, I've been through this with Darcy. Like, don't fixate on that. Like, remember, you matter. And I, I mentioned earlier, like Nick and Tara really did have a lot of parallels through their journeys this this season, just kind of in general, but really this season. And therefore, like she is to Nick what Naomi and Felix are to Elle in the prior scene when they were in The Art Room,

right? Like Elle was going through that thing where she's like, Tao's not going to understand, even though he's the one I want to talk to or I'm, I'm used to confiding in. And her two like gender non conforming trans friends are like, Hey, we understand. We've been through similar things. Like that's what Tara is to Nick in this scene. She's like, I've been through this in my relationship. Let me tell you, learn from my mistake.

Like if you put off, you know, dealing with your own emotions and feelings and the struggles that you're going through, it's only going to get worse. And like, look how it manifested with Tara. All he did was 'cause her panic attacks because she wasn't giving herself the space to like deal with what she needed. Like she was trying to like please everybody else. Darcy, the teachers who are like, be a prefix, go to Oxford. Like you're trying to please all

these other people. But like, and then puts off how she really like really reflecting on, well, do I want this? How do I feel? Do I want to be doing all these things like? And so she's like trying to warn Nick. She's like, hey, learn from my mistake. Basically. Don't neglect yourself as her parting advice, which is really important. But the end of this conversation very sweetly pivots out of shared experience territory when Nick asks Tara for sex advice.

And Tara very gently reminds Nick, I am a lesbian. I don't think I can help you with dude sex. And it's funny, but honestly, it's so very sweet that Nick felt so comfortable to ask her for advice because like, it's hard to talk about that, let alone like ask for like any kind of sex advice. Like the fact that he said that says a lot about their relationship that he even asked. But it's it's very cute and funny.

OK, so then he drops her off at dance class and we have time jump to Dara. Dara. I combine their dance, Tara dancing and then Darcy shows up and it's like, hey, girlfriend, I'm here to support you. So Darcy took three buses to just come watch Tara dance because, quote, you always look so happy when you're dancing. And that's love, bitch. I'm just saying, and Darcy acknowledges basically all the support that Tara has been giving them after, you know, the mom incident and thanks Tara for

all of that. And thanks Tara for giving them the courage to explore their gender expression, which was a really personal vulnerable journey for Darcy to go through. And like, having that support to like just do it meant the world so. Also Darcy like just coming and supporting their partner like they've always been so supportive of Tara in in her dance. We saw it in season 2 that little brief once. It's like the flashback at Tara's recital.

So cute. Darcy has been there since day one of their relationship and Tara's like dancing days like they've they've always like said, you're amazing. I'm so proud of you. Even if like I think they'd even say in like season 2, they're like, even if you fall and ruin the whole show, I'm still going to clap for you or whatever she said or they say it was really sweet. Like they've they've been Tara's number one supporter in dance

since day one. And I love that this is kind of just like, like nodding back to that and coming full circle with it. Because here they are at her actual dance class. That's so true. It's really, really cute. And another important thing in this conversation is that Darcy comes out to Tara as non binary. And I assume we from the conversation, basically Tara has Tara. Darcy has come to this conclusion earlier but hasn't really vocalized this to Tara

yet. And Darcy says it's because they didn't they didn't quote bomb drop this information earlier because Tara seems so stressed out and like Darcy didn't want to like 'cause you know, Darcy's like this is a big deal and it changes a lot of things and blah, blah, blah. And like, I didn't want to like throw that on you. And Tara's response is utter perfection where Tara says it's not a big deal unless you want it to be. It's just you. It's just me and you.

So similar to like Tao, where Tao's like being trans is part of who you are. Alan, I just love you. I don't see those separate things. Same thing with the Tara. She's like you're just you. It's not a big deal unless you really want this to be a big deal, unless it's some big life changing thing that really means a lot to you. Like I will treat it that way. But like it's just you being you. Like I don't see the big deal. Like you're still Darcy.

Yeah, I imagine it probably doesn't feel like a big. It probably doesn't feel like a bomb drop to Tara necessarily, because Tara's like Tara has witnessed Darcy go through this transition, Darcy exploring their identity. Tara's Tara has seen it through the whole thing. And I think for Darcy, it feels like a bomb drop because this is probably the first time they've said it out loud.

So it's probably like a big, it's A, and it is obviously a, it's a very big deal to them, but it also feels like it's the first time that they're really obviously coming out about it. And so for them it probably feels like a big bomb drop. Whereas Tara just kind of like, not probably not surprised, but like very, very proud that they are proud to say it so.

Yeah. And then quick shout out to, of course, the crew and the lighting department, because when they're sitting on the bench in the studio, the colors on the window panes are the trans flag colors. So yay for the scene. That's really cool. I didn't notice that. I also did not catch that either, which I think you even mentioned in episode 2 or three. It was when Darcy comes in wearing trousers and it was the non binary study. Yeah, the non binary flag in the

windows. It's like it's Darcy's thing. It's Darcy's theme. Darcy brings the colors of the rainbow, is what I'm what we're saying. Oh, yeah, yeah. Also just want to on, on top of that appreciation, I want to just point out the fact that I don't see a single mirror in the studio, which I, I found so refreshing to see because that's kind of like that's like a common design in a dance studio is there's mirrors everywhere so you can see yourself, so you can see the teacher, so the teacher

can see the students. That's I think the biggest thing is like so the teacher can see the students while they're still demonstrating, but. Also so the students can see their lines. Yeah, exactly. So, but I kind of appreciate that. It kind of adds to the whole this this, this class is purely for fun. It's for enjoyment. And Tara is not under pressure to be perfect in this class because she can't even look at her own reflection.

So it doesn't even matter how good she's been, how good she's being. So I appreciate, I, I thought found that very refreshing and it's very, very nice to see, honestly. Yeah, it's a really, really good point. Thank you for pointing that out, which, yeah, everybody needs a break from their their stuff. And like you put it so perfectly, it's a she's not. There's no pressure to be perfect in this in her dance studio, which that's what she needs.

Yeah, yeah. And then we move on to kind of a nice, a nice scene. Charlie and his mom are making dinner and they they're prepping something off of Charlie's meal plan, we assume, just given the booklet that we're looking at. And the, the only thing we really get to see is that there's carrots, broccoli and potatoes that they make. So we're not really I I don't want to know what they were making because sounds delicious, whatever it was.

But this, this little transition scene where they're talking through it, they're prepping the dinner. It feels very heavily ad libbed slash improv improvised. It's kind of just the energy I'm getting. But even if it wasn't still very well done. But I got to say, I love that Alice, and in this season, Alice, Andy and the whole team, they have such a trust in their actors to just kind of let them loose in these settings and just say like, be your characters do thing.

I don't care how you do it, just do it. They just let them freely be their characters in these little moments. And it kind of adds like just this fresh, like this fresh take on this kind of moment. And I really love if they have like that kind of faith in their actors. So like there's that trust there that they know that they're going to get the job done and they're going to do it well. So I really love that.

Yeah, I definitely felt like a very natural scene and it was just nice to see them smiling together and like, working together without, like, it blowing up. I mean, we'll get there later. But like, them making the food, it seems like they've come a long way. Like with the food topic, you know what I mean? To be able to like do this and make an entire meal and eat

without any issues. And I don't know if that's like because they have purely gone on the journey and got to a good place or because Charlie had ulterior motives in this scene to like put mom in a good mood. I I think it's both, yeah. I think it's, it's a combination of the both. Because in the comics that is what it is too. Like he's purposely getting his mom in a good mood.

But yeah, so I, I'm also curious just in these shots, I, I counted and I might be under counting, but I counted at least six. There's at least six cacti on that window sill. Oh. My God, yes. Who is obsessed with cacti? I don't know. Harley has a cacti, a cactus. I think one, at least one in his room too. So somebody is super obsessed with cacti in this house. I don't know if it's Charlie or if it's a family thing, but yeah, there's so many on this window so.

My theory is there. The mom, yeah, my theory was it was the mom, but I'm just like, I didn't think about that. But yeah, Charlie has one in his room, so I'm like. Maybe it's Dad's secret obsession because he's quiet. I feel like growing plants would be something he'd be into. Julio Cato. Dad gives that as gifts to for every occasion. Actress and Tori's like, what am I going to do with this? So she gave it to Charlie. Oh my gosh, they're they're going to be a.

Whole a whole thing. No, all the ones in the kitchen are Tori's because she's like, I don't. Want that to. Put it in the kitchen. That's so funny. You're better off here, buddy. Yeah, just like where are there 6? There's six of them. And then there's like all the other plans and everything. So I'm like, well, somebody likes decorating. Now I have to go back and look at the other seasons and be like where all these plants are already here because I just now noticed all these plants.

I'm pretty. Confident they were, but yeah I'd have to rewatch too. Yeah, also just a little cute thing. I you hear Charlie at some point he's holding like a jar of something that says is this Rosemary? And it makes Jane laugh, and it's really cute. I take it that jar wasn't labeled and that's why he had to ask. Is this Rosemary? We all know that. Next, the cook in their relationship. So it's fine. Yes, Yes. Yeah. The the family cleans up after

dinner, after the scene. And this is when Charlie thinks, OK, she's in a good mood, so I'm going to ask about having the sleepover with my boyfriend. And her answer simply at first is, well, yes, at some point, which is a very honestly and by by that was a very reasonable answer. She wasn't saying no, but she wasn't saying like, yeah, you can do it right now. Absolutely. And I really feel for her in the seat because like she like she knows like her reasoning for not right now.

Like at some point she says like you do have your exams coming up, which exams can be very stressful naturally. Like that's a very understandable thing. And Charlie can get very stressed out with schoolwork just like any other teenager. Whereas Charlie on the other hand, takes this As for saying no because he's he's mentally ill, which I get, I get it from both sides.

That's kind of where CC has felt like she's been walking on egg shells with him this whole time, which is still something that they're they're both healing from in their in their relationship as mother and son. But that's also where this family still has a lot of room to grow in their communication

for sure. But also, Tori comes over and chimes in and she asks what Mom is so worried about, which I can imagine Jane in her mind probably feels very cornered by that and that she's losing control of the situation. She probably, she kind of feels like her kids are ganging up on her a little bit, probably in that moment. So yeah. Probably.

I mean, I again, I don't, I don't think she's in the wrong in this conversation at all because again, Charlie's a minor like, you know, and like he's asking to sleep over at his boyfriend's house and like she points out, she's like, you have exams coming up and stuff. And I'm just like, I'm worried about this, like the time. I'm not saying no, never. I'm just saying the timing. Can we please revisit this after your big exams are over? Like because like she knows what

he's asking. He's like, what you're asking is a big deal. And like, can you, can we meet? Can you meet me halfway? And he just blows up on her. And it's like, is she wrong? She's your mom? Like, she's not being malicious and dismissive in this. She's trying to talk to Charlie, and he just blows up on her. So I, like, feel very bad for Jane in this situation.

And like, yeah, you can definitely read it as, like, Tori's trying to support Charlie, but she's like, Jane could easily feel like, OK, why are you ganging up on me? I'm not being unreasonable in this conversation. Yeah, I have to wonder if part of that's like she's It reminds of her parents, too. Yeah, she feels triggered to me in this scene, especially the end where like they go by the door and like the dad's there and he's like, are you OK?

I feel like she's triggered in this conversation as well. And like she's fighting her getting triggered with trying to communicate with Charlie. And it's like, Mom is the evil one in Charlie's eyes always. And it's like. Yeah, I think, I think part of it could like on Charlie's side, it could stem from like we had this happen last year where?

Literally. Last year when she told him you can't hang out with your boyfriend because you need to get your schoolwork done, you're behind which at the time also she wasn't wrong he was behind in school work he needed to get wrong. But obviously, like, it was she was taking a lot of extremes with like, you cannot see your boyfriend ever, which it did seem like it was a lot at the time. But again, she wasn't wrong.

He was behind in school. So I think maybe that's part of where he's thinking like, God, we're just having a repeat of what happened last year. You're going to try to keep me from my boyfriend. It's kind of where his mind is. But it is it is kind of heartbreaking because you can kind of see when he storms out. Like you can just see, like there she is trying not to cry because she's getting very

emotional. And I, I got like weirdly choked up from the moment that, that the dad that Julia comes over and he says, are you OK? Because I just like, I don't know, I got into like this, this lot of like, first of all, it's kind of a shame that we I get why we don't see it, but it is kind of a shame that we don't see the flashbacks that were in the comics of Jane with her mom and how her mom was her mom was

very abusive when she was a kid. And that's part of what Jane is trying to not be. But it also helps us understand that this is the person that Jane grew into and it's part of how that happened. But I get like why for the second story, why we didn't see it because like, obviously this isn't her story. It's a lot easier to tell it in the comic form, all that stuff. But also just. Got a baby for root for three seconds. We could have gotten that. That is true.

That's fair. Maybe next season. Maybe next season we get a Baby Jane. That'd be great. But yeah, I do. I do understand why we didn't cut away, yeah, or anything. I think so it was, it was, it got me emotional seeing him come up to her and ask if she's OK. And I think just because like, I, so I've read like the story of how those two met and like how they fell in love and everything like, and it's a really, it's a really sweet story that Alice wrote about

them. But also knowing that probably over time, over the course of their marriage, he has learned more and more about her past and probably has witnessed a lot of it first hand, like at the beginning of their marriage, like with having to deal with the in laws and becoming, becoming the in law and everything. Like he probably, he's probably had some of that experience first hand. So he he's probably the only person that really understands his wife.

Especially in this household because, like, the kids have no idea. Then they treat mom like they have no idea. Like what she's been through us for real. Yeah, because. You probably didn't tell them anything about it. I mean, they could, yeah, You can kind of see it when the mom's over, but they have their own shit going on. Yeah, they don't really see it from your mom kind of treats you like shit. They kind of see it as like

grandma's treating me like shit. It's like the thing when you're a teenager, like the world still revolves around you, so you don't see your parents as people yet. Like perhaps when they get out of the house and like in 10 years and they'll be like, OK, mom, what the hell? Like they'll see mom as a human being and then maybe this relationship will change. But like, right now they're kids. They don't see mom and dad as

people. They're just like someone who looks out for me or somebody who's in my way when I want something. And it's like, cuz again, Charlie's motivation is me, me, me, me, me, me. He's not thinking about mom, he's thinking about me. And so and which is a very, you know, adolescent mindset. Like that's how your world operates. It's I want this, you're in the way kind of thing. So OK, so over to the next scene with Tao and Elle.

Tao has set up a whole movie, Protection Protection projection to show Elle the film he made her. And before they start watching it, he explains that he knows that she's been feeling uninspired by her art lately, which we've already said. It's very, very sad. And he goes on to explain to her that it reminded him of when he cheered Charlie up with the film that he made while Charlie was

in treatment. And this whole thing is just really cute because you see the passion behind his art and like, this is him getting lost in his art form. And it shows how similar L and Tao really are. It may be two medium, two different mediums, but they both have a love of art. And we saw that in Season 2 at the Art Museum that they went to alone. But Tao says, it was the first time that I felt like I could create something that put joy into the world.

And that's probably how L felt about her art too, until the world had to mess it up for her. So there's just a lot going on and I just, I do love that they can bond over this and how passionate Tao is about making this film to hopefully have Elsie herself in a different light. Also, the fact that tell Tao set has a tell that Tao set all of this up in Elle's bedroom. This is in Elle's room that this

is all happening. So it's like he had to basically have her leave the room and have her be like in the rest of the house while he's setting this up and then bring her back in, which I thought was really sweet. It's so cute. He's like. Again, Tao would do anything for Elle. It's so cute and I, what I love about this movie is that cause again, what where we started Elle's journey in this episode.

So it's her looking at her own portrait and being and having a bunch of self doubt because of the event that happened at the recording studio for the podcast. And then here's Tao basically showing Elle like, is this a self-portrait in video format? And he's like, this is how I see

you. This is how we all see you because the self-portrait is how Elle sees herself and this is she's like, this is how other people see you that aren't this like homophobic, weird person that was asking you really

weird, inappropriate questions. And I think to her, it's reassuring that while Tao can't doesn't know what it's like to walk in her shoes, he, you know, despite the differences he does on there is understanding and love there despite their life experiences not being 100% the same or like him not being able to like truly step by step understand her true experience being trans and having these weird interactions with people because, you know, they're fixated on that part of her, not

her as a whole. So I do like the way this kind of restores her faith in in herself by seeing this other form of a self-portrait, basically. That's a good point, and it's not just how he sees her, it's showing that he does see her. For her. And not an object like she was treated. So he's just. Trying to repair all of that for her. Yeah. Because like, if you look at it, it's not her being. It's not like her being. It's her just living her life. Like, there's parts of her doing art.

There's parts of her just having fun with her friends, supporting her friends. Like just existing at a party. It's just like you take up space in the world everywhere, just not in this little box of you're a trans person and a political pawn. So I like that.

That and then like it's very easy to like not for for any person to not realize just like to see this how they're special to see how they're beautiful because they just they see themselves and they, they don't see themselves the way that everybody else sees them because it's been possible to because the only perspective you have is from inside your own head and from the mirror, which mirror mirror can't tell you anything really compared to what other people see from the outside

perspective. And it's, it's hard to think that you're special. It's hard to think that you're unique or that you're beautiful because you see yourself in the mirror every single day of your life. You live with yourself in the bad times and the good times when you have the dark thoughts, when you have anything, you live with that part of yourself every single second of every day.

And so that's, that's where like I put this on here when when Tao says that's how I see you, I was like, OK, I guess I'm just going to keep crying. It's fine. It's so sweet because it's like, yeah, like it's. Impossible for her to see herself as that, I mean given just because that's the natural human thing, but also because of what she's just experienced. And Tao has to remind her, like, this is what you look like from my perspective, and This is why

I love you. Why I adore you is because I see this and I see this. This is simply you existing and it's beautiful. Best. Partner ever award goes to Tau. Let's just leave it at that. Maybe he's so sweet. She's like I, I always thought you wouldn't get it. And he's like, but I'll try and I'm like, I'll try. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. And trying is all you can ask for. I know. Yeah, because not everybody will

do that. Next we shoot on over to Nick, who is in his room taking some me time to look into universities because this is something he's been kind of putting off like researching rather than just being like this one next to Charlie. So it's pretty clear from like the websites alone which one Nick feels more affinity towards because the Leeds website is colorful and it's got a rugby

page. And if you look at which is Nick's interest and if you look at the photo like it's a very dynamic, natural looking photo, it's almost like somebody took a picture of people at Leeds actually playing rugby. Compared to the Kent website, the website, first of all, it's black and white. All the, all the tabs he goes through multiple tabs, they're all black and white. And then the people in it look like Adobe be stock photos.

Like it's like actors who are posing and they're not really at. There's nothing defining about the College in the background. It's just like people in a room smiling at each other. Like everything just seems really dull and generic. And so it's like not speaking to Nick on a personal level where like by web design alone, you can see where Nick's headspace actually is. It looks like it should be a tutoring center.

Right. It's like there's nothing like defining about leads in the photo from the description. It's very just like, come here to get an education. Yeah. Like to your point, I like, I like that they like put it like the photos themselves. They don't have any color in them and it looks very it does look very like stock photo lead to your point. And I like that it's it does show like it's a university. It's probably it's probably a solid college.

It's probably a great university, but in this scene we see this is not going to be the place for Nick because we are seeing it from Nick's perspective. And I like that that is the the choice, the artistic choice they made to say like, it's probably a great university because like in the photos, people are smiling. They look like they're very determined to have a good education, whatever It seems like it could be a good university, but it's not, It's not Nick's vibe.

And that's kind of that's how colleges are. It's a college can be great, but it might not be for you. So, yeah, exactly. This is not a kind of like to your point, this is not a comment on either of these schools. This is how Nick feels. And like you said, this set, you know, whatever intern put this together for the show is showing you this one is speaking to Nick and this one isn't. That's all it's saying.

And so Nick is frustrated by this, and he talks to the computer, grabs his phone and goes to his happy place, which is Charlie's Instagram or photos of Aunt Charlie just in his phone. Why? Because Charlie is the reason he's considering Kent. Like the school that's not speaking to him on a personal

level. The motivation there is it is physically close to Charlie. And he's like, while he's looking at the photos of Charlie, it's like he's trying to convince himself that this motivation is all he needs. But you can see that like he tries to smile, but he can't hold the smile. So it's really clear, like from this little scene with Nick not speaking that like leads us the university that fits him, her like him alone the best.

It's the best fit for him. But choosing himself in this scenario would mean not choosing Charlie. I think this is how he's thinking about it. And again, university, like there's a, there's a many factors that go into choosing, you know, schools, secondary schools, jobs and like your personal fit is part of the equation. But like family could be another. Like if you're a caregiver, like you have location might just be a big factor.

Money might be a big factor. I'm just engineering in general, not talking about next circumstance, but part of the decision is figuring out which factors do you prioritize when you're coming up with your narrowing down your list of schools to think what fits best for you. And yes, Charlie is a part of the equation, but making Charlie the whole equation will potentially make, you know, make Nick miserable in the long run because he might pick a school

that's not the best fit. So like in this scene, Nick's trying to figure out, do I decenter Charlie from this and like put my other wants and needs into the equation versus making Charlie the equation. And I think part of that is that Nick is scared of what will happen to Charlie because every scene we've seen in this episode, whenever Nick is asked a question, the first response is Charlie this, Charlie that,

Charlie this, Charlie that. So I think his brain first goes to, well, how's Charlie going to react to this? Will he relapse? And is it going to be my fault? Then how do I get to him? What if he ends up back in a rehab? Like I feel like his brain goes down that road first because in his brain he's centering Charlie and he doesn't know how to like decenter and if that's OK for him to do because like he's still in the struggle Olympics where he's like, Charlie has it worse than me.

Is it really so bad if I'm not 100% happy? Like he's starting to spiral, which understandable, right? And as Nick's full on panicking, Charlie shows up unannounced and he vents to Nick about what happened with mom and is saying I wish everyone stop walking on egg shells around me.

And ironically, this is what Nick is actually doing by not being super honest about wanting to go to Leeds or like not wanting to go to Kent, rather by entertaining the idea of another school because he probably told Charlie, this is what I'm going to do. And I was like, great, you're not leaving me. Great. And then now Nick's thinking about leaving and he's like, I'm not. He's not telling Charlie because he's worried about his reaction, that which is walking on egg

shells. Run Charlie. But like, I don't think Nick is conscious of that's what he's doing. He's just like I was spiraling. So in this conversation, Nick admits that he thinks Charlie is the strong and self assured one in their relationship and that he thinks he's the fragile one. Because we've been saying this

and we all can see this. Like Nick and Charlie do have a codependent relationship, but here Nick feels like he doesn't know who he is without Charlie. And like, we've seen him go on this journey since season 1 to now where like he became, and he says it in this conversation, he became more aware of himself, parts of himself that he, you know, he'd never thought of or like, never acknowledged and probably was a safe space for him to like, explore who he is. So I think what he's starting to

realize as well is that while he's afraid of like what will happen to Charlie if he leaves, Nick is more afraid of like what who am I without Charlie? I don't even know who that is. And he remembers who he was before Charlie. He's like, I was a superficial person. Like I was barely. I was AI performed. I like hung out with people and I said stuff, but it was never deep. It was never me like my true

self talking to them. So I think he's like, how do I go into a brand new environment and quote, be me without Charlie. I'm only me with you know what I mean? I think he's like having a little bit of a cry, a personal crisis about this, like who am I, which is normal at this stage of life. So like, this is all normal stuff for him to be thinking about because really like Nick and Charlie are best friends.

Like really, if you look examine their relationship, at least from like Nick's point of view, he's like, Charlie is my best friend basically. And you know, Charlie's been that safe space for him to like express himself. And I think Nick is terrified of losing that, especially going into a brand new environment with brand new people. Like that can be scary. I mean, Charlie's the first person to actually see him because you see the rugby lads

in the beginning of the show. It the relationship's very superficial this is and the whole friend group really. This is the first time people see him. Like before that, it's just he at least he had Love you Coleman, but he had David and then the rugby lads and just. A lot of. Toxicity, do you? I forgot they are. Really. So yeah, they did. It developed as he and and Charlie's relationship developed. Those kind of happened at the same time because yeah, but

Tara's been a good friend now. But yeah. Yeah, and then like, but. Before all of it, yeah, Yeah. They get into like the conversation where Nick openly like says he feels kind of lost without Charlie. And I think it's it's fair and it's perfectly OK for him to say like Charlie coming into his life is one of the best things ever happened to him. It's perfectly fair to say because it really was, because it opened up this whole new

world of who he was to him. And obviously, like he probably would have, he would have gotten there eventually without Charlie, probably. But Charlie walking into his life and making him fall in love, making him find this part of himself by realizing he had feelings for Charlie that he never felt for a boy before, definitely opened up this whole

new world to him. And definitely and and in the long run brought him this group of friends that he had never experienced before, as far as we understand. And Charlie just being the forever supportive partner who loves him and supports him and everything. So I think that's definitely it's fair enough to say that Nick doesn't want to lose that Nick or Charlie being one of the best things in his life. Like, and, and the whole idea that he's going to lose him when he goes off to school.

It's it's that fear of like, you know, like we, we know as adults, like you can make it work. Like you leaving and the Talanelle went through this. It's like you leaving doesn't mean we're going to stop being together. You being gone doesn't mean it's forever. And I think that is the thing that it's hard to understand as a teenager is it's it's not forever. It doesn't have to be forever. It is temporary and you have to make it work, but it's not

forever. Long distance doesn't have to be. But the thing I do appreciate is when Nick tries to kind of backtrack and he goes, Oh, it's just it's stupid. Charlie says no, what did what do you what do you mean? And this is the thing that I have forever loved about their relationship is that they, they

always hear each other out. Like when one of them is feeling certain things, they're upset, they're stressed or just having any kind of strong feelings, the other person like gives them that space to open up. And even when they try to say like it's stupid or it doesn't make sense or it doesn't matter, they're like, no, no, no, I'm listening. What is it? It's not stupid. Whatever you're feeling, I'm listening. So I always, that's one of my favorite things about them.

And that's part of where that communication always comes from with them is just like, no, it doesn't matter. Even if it is stupid. Tell me. I want to hear it so. Yeah, yeah, they're just, they're naked Charlie. Yeah. So I like the because again, like this goes back to like the Tara and Nick stuff at the beginning. Like Nick is the strong person. He's not used to, like accepting help. So it takes Charlie pushing to

be like, no, seriously. Like tell me for him to like accept the help that Charlie's offering by like being the one to comfort him. Same thing with Tara. Tara, it's kind of the same with Nick in the beginning. So again, they're parallels with families do the whole time. So yeah, I like to think it to this part because why is Charlie here? Charlie came here to vent about his problems and he's like, oh, wait, Nick is going through something. Let's focus on it because Nick,

your feelings matter too. So I'm glad that Charlie validated that for him because I feel like he's been bottling it up. I think him going away to college or university would actually be good for him to to explore life in general more because like when he's with Charlie, it's all in on the relationship. So I think maybe for both of them, yeah, it'll be hard. We see that with Tao and L, right?

Well Tao, right now Tao is a lovesick puppy when L is away, but it would really let them explore themselves as people more. Yeah, for sure. All right, so Charlie comforts Nick, and then we transition into Nick and Charlie's first time together. Yeah, and right when they start kissing another another nod to the music. Here we go with Part 2 of Nick

and Charlie's kiss theme. Right as they start kissing the Part 2 of the theme song from season 1 that when they have their first kiss comes back in, it is now in a higher key and it's a faster tempo and it's helping demonstrate the how much more intense. Cuz in in season 1 it's a very slow. It's very like there's some tone, like some vamping in the background, some like chords that come in that there there's a background melody that's kind

of in a lower range. I don't know if I'd consider in the bass Clef cuz it's not quite that low, but it's like a background melody that plays along with the the main melody and we get to that part. And then when it actually gets to their first kiss, the tempo doesn't speed up but it does kind of start to crescendo. The music gets a little bit higher and notes, but in this scene it does, it goes, it goes even higher and it goes faster. Kind of just demonstrating this

is a much more intense kiss. This isn't just some sweet tender, this is intense. There's a lot of emotion going on behind this. There's a lot of feelings going on. There's a lot of passion going on behind this scene. So I just love how this this show is just so exceptional in how it's able to show progression of time and relationships just by the music by itself. So yes, yes, it's what they deserve. Also. It's what they deserve. OK.

So yeah, I like, I like that all that you're saying about the music. And it kind of adds to the fact that this is like a spontaneous, heightened, emotional, passionate kind of moment that just kind of ignites and sparks and goes. So like the music does kind of support that or adds to it. And something that I like during this scene with the two of them is that Charlie, it removes his card again, but it keeps his shirt on.

So I like that he again, it's demonstrating that he's more comfortable being more like physically exposed around Nick. He's not 100% there. And that's totally fine. It's, it's back to the the lesson of like, do things at your own pace. And Charlie is doing things at his own pace and what he is comfortable with. So I appreciate that detail in this scene because that's important for Charlie and where he's at with his body dysmorphia and being vulnerable in that way around Nick.

I do like that during this whole thing, they both check in with each other, like, are you OK with this? That kind of stuff. They do keep communicating, which is really good. And overall, like they're just smiling and giggling and having fun just figuring things out together, which is like how this should be. So I like that they're first time together is like really what it should be. It's just them doing what they're comfortable with, doing it together.

Like in all in like the physical and emotional way because those things can be intertwined for people. Like they're those type of people where the physicality and the emotionalness of sex goes together. It's not the case for everybody, but it is for them. And I like that they're expressing this, you know, the way that feels right for them. And that's, that's what's important. So, like, good job, Nick and Charlie, you did it. This was really gay. Good job. Yay.

Way to be gay. It was very gay, I was. So gay, love it. And again, props to Heart Stopper. They didn't immediately know what to do like the American shows. Exactly. Well done. This is for the target. This is perfect for the target audience. We love it. So that wraps up three O 7. I gave out my big gay energy award. How about you guys? I was thinking about it and I was going to go with Michael and no, that's what the aura just did. So mine is for Darcy showing up to.

Dang it, you stole mine, No 1. Can go with baby Farooq that was also good. Oh shit, I'm like what? What do we do here? OK. You can still say. I mean, I could say. Sorry, I'll say I'll say big gay energy to Nick for trying to flirt awkwardly over text. Oh. My God, that was good. Yeah. Charlie shouldn't use a cucumber for condoms. And Charlie's immediate response? Just gay. OK, yeah, that conversation. That whole conversation, big energy.

In school with Tao looking over Charlie's shoulder. Oh, that never. Went Oh no, I've been outed. Honorary big gay energy to them communicating during everything and like consenting. Throughout exactly. I mean, if Mr. Wings don't do it then it might as well have hard stopper itself do it. Exactly. So if you made it this far in this episode, we want to know. Use this today. It's going to be a word in a comment or review on whatever platform you can.

Today's word is crescendo because I was trying to figure out something and Elena kept saying the word crescendo. So that's where it came from. Perfect. Love to see it nod to the music that Elena's like, no, the music, everyone. It's like you're right. So looking forward to seeing that in some comments. And so that concludes the ultimate episode. We'll be back next time for the Season 3 finale. And until next time, hydrate for lesbian Jesus. And get up all over the place. Bye.

And with that, we've been big gay energy. Thank you for listening. We'd really appreciate it if you downloaded this episode and left us a review. No matter how brief, your contribution will help us reach a wider audience. We would love to hear from you about everything and anything. You can find us on all social media platforms at Big Gay Energy Pod or e-mail us at Big Gay Energy [email protected]. Join our Discord server to connect with us and our friends who also love queer media.

The link to join is in our episode description below if you'd like to support us. Check out our merch store on big gayenergypod.com or join our Patreon for early. Access to episodes. Exclusive content and so much more. Until next time, hydrate for lesbian Jesus. And get it. Up all over the place.