Heartstopper S3E3 "Talk" Recap

Hello and welcome to Big GAY Energy. I'm Caitlin and I'm Fiora. Come along with us while we dive into the fun and nuances of queer media. Representation matters, and we're here to talk about it. Cheers queers. What's on the big? Gay agenda today, Fiora. Today we are continuing our scene by scene breakdown of Heart Stopper season 3. And today we'll be talking about Season 3 Episode 3 talk.

This is a episode. This is where we pivot from like warm fuzziness into the heart of mental illness and why we're all here. And like really the heart of Volume 4 of Heart Stopper and it's got everything. And Speaking of having everything, we have Elena here with us today. I guess we do again to. Talk about heart stopper. Because we're not enough on ourselves. We need Elena for herself. We do, we do. I'm here. I'm. I'm Elena's roommate accompanied

with a cat. I don't know if he'll make an appearance. He did a little bit ago, but he is currently perched right against my thigh, so he is cozy. We're all reading on Ringo to show up. And so you can all see him because he's majestic. Cameo. All right, Any announcements, Caitlin? Or should we just jump into this? You know, follow us on social media, subscribe to the channel, leave a review, join the Discord. Just read the description. Yeah, let's get into it. Let's get into it.

Yeah. This is episode 3. All right, so let's jump into this. So the beginning of this episode basically like holiday is over and we're back in the swing of things, school starting up again. And we start with Nick, who's getting up and getting ready for school. And he wakes up to many needy texts from Charlie. Because it's been 3 weeks. That's a lifetime.

Hurry up and get to school. But he wakes up and then Nick wakes up, checks his phone, and just as he's checking the phone, Charlie's texts come in. And I was thought that was very convenient that he texted right as Nick's alarm went off. So it made me think, does Charlie have an alarm to let him know when Nick wakes up? Probably what if they like coordinated their alarms so they can wake up together? That'd be so cute. That would be really cute.

I, I mean, OK, I love that. But also like Charlie would know when Nick's alarm is, so he would set his alarm to Nick's alarm. So he's like as he wakes up and he probably is like I'm sure Nick like snoozes it for a hot 2nd or whatever. So he like probably knows Nick's routine enough to be like, you're going to read this right now. Well, I'm just like because he either has to wake up really fast and be in the mood to text or he sets his alarm like 5 minutes beforehand.

So he'll be awake to text right at the time that Nick gets up. The other thing is like at this point, Charlie's not really sleeping. So I sure he has been awake. I'm probably waiting for Nick to wake up and then like was ready to text him. That's fair. OK, so Charlie keeps texting Nick all the way to school 'cause he's anxious to kiss his boyfriend. It's been 3 weeks, which is basically six years in gay time.

And while Nick's like making his way to find Charlie, we kind of like montage style ish catch up with everybody else, like getting ready to go to school. And so we go to Tara next, who's arriving at the sixth form common room. So like, this is something she's been anxious about starting sixth form. And like we really see that in the establishing chat where she's just like in front of this room room, like just dreading walking into the space.

Like there's so much anxiety just like wafting off of her. And she does do it. She walks in because like, what choice does she have? And immediately upon entering, she's bombarded by a teacher who's like, Oh my God, Tara, our star student of the entire school, a great job on GCSE is do you want to be a prefect? Like immediately somebody starts throwing more responsibilities onto her.

And the second, the second she enters this space and her response is so sad because she, like, puts on this performative smile, like, you know, the golden girl kind of thing where she's like, yeah, sure, I'll think about it. But it's really sad for Tara because a lot of her arc so far has been this like the way her scholastic success is just like causing her more anxiety or like making her life miserable.

It's so sad. It's like every time she achieves something, it like ratchets up this pressure she's feeling instead of like alleviating it. Because usually when you achieve something, you're like, whoo, that's done sigh of relief. But with Tara, it's like it makes it adds more pressure and it doesn't like solve her problems. It like makes them worse, like in her mind. And it just like shows in the scene. It's so sad. I know. And the teachers say it like you

hear it from her teacher. And then like, I think in the future episode, you hear her mom say it and it's like, they mean it like genuinely as a compliment. Like you're so smart, you're so, you're so great. And all she feels is the pressure. And it's so heartbreaking how that's like twisted in her mind just from her anxiety. And it's like, no, Tara, you are great, but it's OK if you struggle.

Yeah. And I feel like the other thing too is like, a lot of this is like, OK, so where all these, you know, the characters are at, they're kind of like in that transition period from like, truly going from adolescence to adulthood, like going from like, dependent to an independent person. And it's like that time where you like, they're trying to figure out how that works for you. And then also like, who am I? And Portara, I feel like she doesn't have time to ever think

about like, who am I? It's more like all these people are like, Hey, I see something and you be this. And then she's like, well, I don't know what I want. And then you're throwing me more options. And I feel like that's like also overwhelming to be like, oh, these options I, you know, so it's really sad. And like the way I would sum up her storyline, it's very much like the perfection is an Asmotote struggle.

And what I mean by that is if you don't remember from math class what an Asmotote is, but it's basically like it's that curved line that like approaches the X axis or Y axis, but never all the way to Infinity, but never touches it. It just keeps getting closer and closer and closer. And I'm in a professional fraternity and the way we explain perfection is we say perfection is an asboto.

And the the way it was explained to me was like, OK, your goal is to constantly work each and every day to achieving it, right? So each day is a day of self improvement, supposed to be motivating, but ultimately the message is that perfection's impossible because you can never actually achieve it. You can only get close to it, but you can never actually achieve perfection. And that's kind of like the road she's on.

Like on paper, Tara keeps achieving all these things that make her look perfect, but she doesn't feel that way. She's like, you know, who am I am? It's this thing. But it's like people keep going great, you've achieved this success. Here's the next step to achieving true perfection. And she's like, I don't even know if I want this. So that's how I kind of would explain her arc for Tara. But this is growing up. Growing up is kind of like this.

It's filled with many different emotions, and you just navigate the best you can while figuring out who you are. But OK. So while Tara's in this room, she reunites with all of her Higgs friends and who are now on the sixth form common room. And Darcy is there too.

And Darcy's wearing trousers, which is against not technically against, but not the norm of the dress code for the female presenting students at Higgs. And so this is like a hint that like Darcy on her own off screen is like doing all these like gender exploration things. And it's kind of like Tara's like kind of noticing it. And I love that Tara comments on the trousers and her what she says to to Darcy is you look so you, which is the perfect statement to say.

And like 10 out of 10 Tara. No, no, it's on being a supportive girlfriend. Like that was a great thing to say. I definitely love that part Like. Yeah, because. She can see there's something going on with Darcy, and I love that she lets them go through their journey not on their own, but lets them figure it out for themselves.

I don't know if she fully knows what's going on, but she's just there every step of the way, which it also just adds to the perfectionism thing, the achieving perfection because like not only is she has to worry about school, but she's also like the person with the most responsibility for the group. Even because she's I feel like she, the way she carries herself, she's like the mature one. I mean, who would you go to over between Tara and Tau? Yes. It depends on what it is. Yeah.

Yeah. But Tao just plays around more where Tara is just like, gets things done, I feel like. Yeah. And I think the other thing is like, OK for Tara, if Tara was to comment flat out and, like, grill Darcy on the gender expression thing, that's a way of like, doing exactly what was just done to her 5 seconds ago, where she's like, oh, you're doing this.

Here's the next step. It'd be like putting pressure on Darcy. Whereas Tara's just like, great, this, this looks like you figured your shit out great and leaves it at that. No added pressure because like I think that's the way she wants to be treated. It's the treat others the way you want to be treated, right? No, exactly. I like you know, Tara's a good

'cause she's a good egg anyway. So OK, in the scene I want to say shout out to lighting and props for the way they did this room because Heartstopper is the show of Easter eggs for pride flags because they put them constantly in with the lighting and the props. And in this scene, the minute from the minute Tara walks in to the minute it ends, it's littered in the colors of the non vine flag. So if you notice, like the windows, there's two colors

going with the windows. There's the light purple, then there's the yellow coming out of the windows. And then the characters themselves with their Higgs uniforms give off this like black dark kind of look and there's white kind of scattered about. And those are the colors of the non binary flag. So in this situation where Darcy is doing the gender expression stuff, there's a subtle hint in the background.

Pride, non binary pride, which chefs gets well done everyone in the previous photo you have of Tara to you can really see all the purple that's in the room. Oh yeah, it's everywhere. But I just you don't see the black as much as when like the you know, the kids are in it. But yeah, just watch the whole scene. It's the whole scene. OK, so after you catch up with Higgs, everybody in Higgs, we shoot over to Tau and L So they're on the they're starting their long distance relationship.

They're, you know, it's mostly text based. So that's how that's going to go. And Elle arrives at Lambert, finally, finally starting Lambert and she reunites with her queer besties that she made with like recruitment, orientation, that kind of stuff. And she just looks really happy and like relieved to be in this space that she's been like, I guess looking forward to dreaming about, thinking about. So her, her journey as an artist is finally beginning, which is really exciting.

I know, I love that there's like separate shots while they're doing their little transition between Elle and Tao's like school life. And there's both, they both have signs that say welcome back to like the students. And I think it, it, it says a lot The so the Truman sign, it's like pretty basic. It's like a yellow background with the blue logo, like the blue and yellow theme. And it's got just like straight, like black text.

And it's like very simple. Meanwhile, in the shot with Elle School at Lambert, it's on a very light colored background with the colorful assortment of these symbols. It's like full of life. It really symbolizes like the creative community there. And it just, I love the contrast between the two. So yeah. Oh, it's it's beautiful. Yeah. I feel like it says a lot about the energy in the different

spaces. And also just like, excuse me, Sir, Ringo Ringo is cleaning himself and also putting his paw on me. Hey, Sir, stop distracting me. It's this PG13 Stop distracting me.

And I love just this the contrast of like the energies that it symbolizes there, like Elle's Elle's community at Lambert, obviously like it's an art school, but just I think it symbolizes just how much more welcoming the school is just like right off the get go because I mean, that's the whole point of the school is it's very accepting. It's very the whole, the whole school is meant to be like welcoming to queer kids who would just want to be frame of expression. Yeah.

That's like more colors. Yeah. And Trum is like one of those schools that's very kind of just straightforward, like all boys school, grammar school. I don't really know a lot about grammar schools in the UK, but like any, any school that requires you to wear a uniform, you know, there's kind of a certain standard with those kinds of high schools. So there's like a conformity element to a uniform basically versus like a come as you are.

We, we are celebrating that, which is what Lambert is doing. So that's a really good, good point about just like the welcome signs and everything too to make drill that point on. So I'm very happy for Elle to start to start this journey. And Elle already has friends like off the bat, which is also amazing and huge. So that's how that's going for her. Then we catch up with our favorite, our favorite teachers, Mr. Farooq and Nathan.

They're officially dating, which they find out in the car when they park and they're like, oh, this is great. We should probably keep this on the down low and then immediately out themselves to the lesbian rugby coach who's like you guys should probably cooler to cancer. No way to be gay, everyone. Good job. I know Coach Singh like pulls like one of those older sister magic moments that Tori does because in the first shot, you know, her car is not right there next to them.

So it's like at some point she has like pulled her car up next to them and suddenly it's like, hello, hi, guys. They were too busy being gay. Anyway. I know. I love that they included this. I we need more scenes with her too. I know. It's really funny because wasn't it like her smugness is even funnier because like she was the one at the end of season 2 that was like, Nathan, you should, you should text him. You should invite him to prom.

So she's like in the know. So now she knows, Hey, I'm a good wing man, right? She's been the wing woman. Exactly. She's so proud of herself. She's like, I called that shit last season. She did. She did. She can see clearly now the rainbows here. Yes, All right, Speaking of rainbows. So Nick and Charlie finally reunite. Nick finds Charlie by his locker and the first thing he does is pulls Charlie into the biggest hug on planet Earth.

And Charlie seems so genuinely happy that we get the leaves. Cartoons floating around during this hug. And my favorite part of this is when it cuts to like, their feet and Charlie's on his little tippy toes to hug Nick and we just get the leaves swirlingly. It's just so. Cute. You know, is it, is it even a season of heart stopper if there isn't a moment where Charlie's on his tip toes? No, something's wrong. If you don't see that something's wrong.

I think he randomly grew a really weird girl spur, like I'm trying to even happen. That would be really funny. But it's still possible. I mean, they're still young enough. It's possible. But I thought it's so funny. Like as they like break out of their hug, you hear like the boys comment, like I think they're going out. I heard they're going out. Like they're still like chuckling about it.

And I think it's so funny because I'm just over here like these sad teenage boys in this all boys school, these straight teenage boys. We'll never get to experience the public school life of making out with your partner in the hallway before class 'cause that was, I don't, I'd say I don't know if everybody's had this experience, but I sure as hell did in high school. Can't relate.

But like, I sure as hell had like friends who were like, yeah, like kissing all over their partners before they went to class, where they then persuaded to text their partner throughout the whole class. So it's just like, we had this, this whole locker section. We had like different locker groups. And there was like there's like a. Square and like that's that's where you went. Don't know why it was contained to that square. That's the make out square. Oh, no. Ours were.

What was this time? You would go buy it. It was so annoying. That's so weird. No, ours was literally just like, they'd be like at the classroom door and they'd be like, kissing their partner goodbye. But it's like a make out session. I'm like, you're gonna see them in an hour. Calm down. I know. It's like. And also texting during class. How do you even make things to talk about? Like you just saw them. Oh, my God, It's so weird. Yeah, but yeah, these these

boys, it's just they're jealous. That's they're so jealous. They're jealous. You you don't you'll never experience it. Not in school, No, no, they have to go outside like the walls will treat Higgs and shroomed in the cold, in the rain. OK. So, yeah, other advantage of being queer in an all boys school is that Nick and Charlie are together.

And so they find an so like Nick and gets the sense that, like, Charlie's uncomfortable by the comments that you just mentioned or later by these, like, a jealous boys. So Nick's like, OK, Charlie's anxious. Let's go somewhere private. So he finds an empty storage room and then aggressively starts making out with Charlie because, like, they have to make up for their three weeks of lost time, obviously. And side note, these teachers really should lock rooms in the school.

Like, why was nothing locked? Everything is open there. What are you just doing? There's like free supplies in there. People can steal shit. What do you in America? That would never happen. That would be double locked because there's property in there you can steal. But also like, if there's if it's like a janitor's closet, just in case there could be cleaning fluid or cleaning liquid safety hazards.

Yeah, exactly. And then a student does something, eats it, and then there's a whole thing because it's America. It's America. But anyway, we're not in America. So instead, this is just a really sweet, wholesome moment of them just like existing, being cute and then saying I miss you. Because like it has been three weeks. And in those three weeks, it wasn't just like a chill three weeks.

Like we were dealing with Charlie's mental health stuff, Nick freaking out about it. And like after everything that went down, it's really nice that they have this moment to breathe together. And like the two of them just look really relieved that like, it's like he's OK, he's in front of me, I can touch him, that kind of thing. Like it must be a big moment of relief after like those particular three weeks that they just went through.

Yeah. And not immediately after that, we cut to their their first form group of the new school year. And of course, Nick and Charlie are still sitting together. Mr. Farooq runs the class now, which I I thought was interesting. I didn't know that. I don't know how it works in the UK, but like, I guess they changed teachers. Mr. Lang still works there because obviously we see him later. But Mr. Farooq runs this forum group this year. So I wonder. I don't know if that's

interesting. Yeah. And I think I think that is the same as it is in the comics too. I think. I think Mr. Ferg takes over then too. So I'm like, I don't know if that's just like a thing. Or what? Yeah, maybe they rotate or something like who does next form. Yeah, because my high school, it was the same teacher throughout my entire high school years. So I don't know. I never had AI had a different like this or a home room. So like, I can't relate to this

at all. I was just like whoever taught you first period had like the announcements and those kind of things. And that was kind of you were just that was it. We ours was in the middle of the day and you had to go to this room for 10 minutes. It was so stupid. That's really, really weird when everybody's like checked out of school. Also in the middle of the day. Also, I'm just dumb. So ours is like in the beginning when you're awake.

Yeah, that was my middle school. Yeah, we did that, Theora, same thing. My middle school did that. But high school, it was like, I think it was technically like after first period and it was a 30 minute, like, yes, 30 minute study hall. It was always the same teacher for all four years. I don't know how interesting. High schools do things differently. It's weird. Not happy Farooq's here, though. Our high schools are weird. I mean, I had lunch at 10:40

sometimes. That is very weird and like, ha. Anyway, high schools are weird. Yeah, I like that Mister Farooq's doing it now, and I think it's so funny. Nick and Charlie are, of course, sitting together still. So, because I think Farooq knows. Well, I guess Farooq probably knows they're together. So it's pretty obvious at this point. But now they're so-called the museum stuff. Yeah. You know, in Paris.

Yeah, Yeah. And it's of course, Nick and Charlie are comfortable enough now that in their relationship and Nick being out and proud, they're holding hands under the desk. Scandalous premarital hand holding. How dare. Oh, my God. On the church. I think it's and I think it's still so funny. I think people want Tumblr, like, to comment about this. Like, why is there still no one sitting across from them?

Is it like that's a good point. Like I think I think for like cinematography reasons, it's because it's easier to like put the camera there and like the close up shots of them. But it's still really funny. Just like it's funny if you think like story wise. Is it just like cuz other students just are gonna hardcore third wheel them? Is that why no one's sitting there? No one. Wants to catch the gay Alena. The jealousy. That's true.

That might have been what's it say like that because that's what Mr. Lang assigned them to. So I'm like, is Mr. Lang a homophobe? And he didn't want anybody sent next to Charlie except Nick. I don't know, like, or does Mr. Lang just know like you 2 are meant to be all the teachers know. It's just like a pool in the theora. We can't hear you. There's a buddy pool in the teacher's lounge where they're like, all right, which students are going to get together?

Which who do we like? What can we do ship them? Who do we think is queer and needs to get paired with this? OK. So obviously that involved the rugby coach and Nathan were involved in this conversation. They're like put together. I mean, Troop just happened to walk in and he's like, what is this? I was like low key listening. He's like, I don't know. No, OK, so he was sitting in there and like listening to him

talk. And then randomly he just starts, he turns his head and he's like, oh, they would never work out. No, I wasn't listening. No, Nicholas Nelson's the straightest person I've ever seen in my life. There's no way. It's either. That or he or they're, like, fighting about whether a student is queer or like, they both agree that a student isn't queer and he goes, oh, no, they definitely are. I know what it looks like to be in the closet in your teen years because that was me.

Exactly. That would be him. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. I think it's so funny that no one sits at their table. It's still really funny, but OK. So then Charlie brings up Nick's birthday that's coming up on Saturday, which, again, such teenagers last minute planning for things that have been, you know, known about all year, which I love. It's so funny, such a high school thing. And he asked Nick if he wants to do anything. Nick says, I don't know, I don't

really want to party. Which completely valid parties can be a lot even when you're 17 and Farooq immediately says to keep it down. Quick nod back to Season 1 when Mr. Lang did the same thing. Because these two just talk constantly. Really, they shouldn't pair them up anymore because like, didn't Mr. Lang be like Farooq break these two up? Yeah. I mean, would they have gotten anything done though? Or would have they just been, like, throwing each other next

the whole. That's the real question. Yeah, yeah, we're just texting the whole time. And what's more chaos? And then Farooq proceeds to, like, tell another student to shut up and says this isn't Mr. Ajai's hippie class. Love that line, bro. Bro got exposed so hard for dating his boyfriend that he had to, like, go backwards and, like, fully try to hide it. That's how bad it is. Still doing a terrible job living in the closet. Reflexes. He's like, I'm not gay. You're gay.

You know what I mean? That was such a funny line. He's like, you're off for rooks time. Oh, my God. He's like, this is Mr. Giant's hippie class. Yeah, because he's. He's weird. I would never date him. No, I don't think he's hot or anything. No, of course not. No, we didn't make out in Paris and then do other things. No, totally not. Maybe out in the parking lot earlier. What? No. So then Charlie proceeds to say he's going to play on something. Nick. Nick immediately does the.

You don't have to, as one does, but Charlie insists he wants to because it'll distract him from his brain. Which Nick knows immediately what that means, of course. And then the bell rings signalling that the forum is over and Nick asks if they want to meet for lunch at the picnic benches, which is like pretty much their normal go to like with Tao and Isaac. That's where they sit for lunch.

Which I think is also really sweet that the idea now is that Nick eats with the boys fully fully accepted into the friend group, which I think is cute. And their Charlie gets like this look on his face when he mentions lunch and immediately flashback to Nick talking with his aunt Diane. Olivia Coleman, 2 point O as we call her, and she basically is saying I'm giving him advice. We presume this is like pretty much right after the end of episode 2, like what happened at

the end at the beach. She's kind of coax or coaching him through how he can support Charlie and be there for him without being overbearing and potentially making things worse, like which is what he's so worried about doing. And Nick, I think it's really sweet that he, he has a postcard cuz it's probably like the only form of paper that he actually has on him. Yeah, and totally a pen. And he's writing probably. I was like, I don't, I don't know. Was it a fountain pen that he

was using? Cuz that's like his thing is he uses fountain pens I think. So I need to look back at it. But it's like if it is a fountain pen, that's just the Nick Nelson way. Then he writes all of her advice down and he uses like A1 like one or two words for each thing.

And it's nice that he's got, like, keywords that he's using that will probably help him remember later without being overwhelmed with the information because obviously, like, if you tried to write all of that, every word that she said down, that'd be a lot. And also he'd be reading it later. And imagine if Charlie, like, found that and he's just like, yeah, is this about me? But yeah. Who did you tell her?

Well, yeah, I will say at the very end, she says it's going to be OK, he's fortunate to have you. And I deeply appreciate the word choice there. She says fortunate and not lucky because a lot of people would say, oh, he's so lucky to have you, which I know, like Nick's mom did it in season 2, but it was a very different context. And it was very like when she, yeah, when Nick was not feeling

well and Charlie brings him tea. It was a very different context and it had a very different sense of what she was trying to say. Mostly just in the saying of I'm very glad that you're his boyfriend. I really love having you here. But in this moment, I love that she because this is something that Charlie is really dealing with. She says he is fortunate to have you because Charlie is not lucky to have Nick being a supportive partner because that's something you shouldn't be lucky to have.

You should. It's fortunate. It's a very fortunate thing when it does happen. But it shouldn't be because of luck, right? Luck complies that it's random and it's not. It's like you guys are working at this. Yeah. So you're right. The word choice is good luck. Insinuates almost that it wasn't deserved automatically. That too. Yeah. So it's like, I love. I love that that was the choice. So, like, kudos to Alice, and then kudos to Haley for the delivery of that line.

Yeah. So then we cut back to present day. After the flashback, Nick ends up suggesting that they eat in The Art Room instead, just the two of them. And Charlie's expression immediately shifts. He goes back to smiling a little bit more and agrees, like, yeah, sounds great.

And then he leaves. And Nick, the whole time you can see in the background, it kind of blurs out, but you can see that he's watching Charlie the whole time as he's leaving and he can't, he kind of like disappears from shot because the static starts to come back and starts to buzz around Charlie. It gets very dark on the outside and you see him start to clutch

his arm. And there's a moment where you see like this, like when he's clutching it, that you see like this jolt of static come, some kind of static that shoots out from where is he's grabbing his arm. And it's amazing, like just the whole show don't tell aspect of that because we know like we can only like assume why he's grabbing his arm and what that symbolizes.

Obviously, we don't know all the details yet compared to what we'll know later, but it's a very solid foreshadowing of all of it, especially for next episode. Yeah. And like the arm grabbing is in my mind as a signifier of just like how bad the mental health is because he only does that when he's really truly like in the dark thoughts. Like his darkest, darkest thoughts because we haven't seen him do that yet. We've just seen like an escalation of his mental health.

And this is like the darkest when he starts grabbing the arm, that's when he's like, really at his darkest. So he's doing all this performative stuff for Nick again to be like, I'm fine, I'm going to plan your birthday party. Some boyfriends do That's normal. Let's be normal. And then the minute he turns away from Nick, you just see that he's not fine. He's performing. And like his mental health is really still bad even though he can still perform in front of people and appear OK.

It's. His way of like kind of grounding himself also while also trying to get his brain to focus on something else rather than his own thoughts. And like, it's not conscious, it's just the only thing that he can think of to help, right? It's just an outlet when his, like, thoughts get really bad, basically. But you'll notice in the scenes where he's doing that, it's when he's like, really peeking in terms of like the bad thoughts.

Yeah. And meanwhile, on the other side of it, Tao is completely unaware of what's going on with Charlie and Isaac. Isaac has been aware of something being strange, but Tao is still completely oblivious because he is profusely obsessing over his now long distant girlfriend. Even though they were kind of long distance anyway because she was at Higgs, but now she's at Lambert. But now they're dating.

So it's different. But you're like obsessively is checking her Instagram story every time she posts, which is, I mean, that's valid. Like as a new relationship, that's valid to like obsess over checking your partner's like socials and everything. I mean, they're putting it out into the world. That's valid. So in the first shot, it looks like they're in like some sort of assembly possibly, but Tao is.

From what we could see, Tao is the only one on his phone, which that doesn't seem possible in a high school assembly, unless that's just how that's how strict the school is. But then like, why is Tao not getting in trouble for having his phone out? Because it's so obvious too, especially he's showing other people too. Like it's not like he's like keeping it to himself and being discreet. He's like, Oh my God.

Look. It has to be like such an engaging assembly for all of these boys to be paying attention. It has to be like something really interesting. They're probably talking about video games or something. I don't know. I was gonna say, or like rugby or something, or sports. Yeah, something sport related or about girls or something, who knows? Something that all like straight teenage boys are invested in. I don't know.

And then Charlie's just there. Charlie just listens cuz it's Charlie. I don't know he's a good student. And then Isaac is of course reading, right? He's not listening. I, I also noticed in the scene after I was doing this, this last rewatch, apparently it's raining outside in the scene. And I was like, oh, oh shit. I just, I just yeah, I caught it and I was like, oh, I guess it's raining Cool.

Just a little detail I didn't notice, but yeah, they he shows Charlie and Isaac the 1st post of her at her new school and they both share annoying look as he looks away like, oh boy, here we go. I do think it's really cute that Tao he's still wearing the bracelets that the bracelet that he got that hit matches Ells, which I think is really sweet. Like we, we love a man that's proud to flaunt how much he adores his girlfriend even if it does annoy his friends, you

know? I mean I'm daring about Tao. I would much prefer him adore her and be open about it than him try to talk shit and like try to be tough cuz no absolutely. So we support it, even if it's a little annoying. It's so cute. It is really sweet, Yeah. Also, I need, I want to read that book that Isaac is reading. It's called This is How You Lose the Time War, which apparently is a sci-fi, sci-fi fantasy book about time, time travelling lesbians. So yes, I know it's been on my TBR forever.

I need to read this book. I heard it's really good. I know apparently it's not super long. It's like 200 pages or something. Yeah, it's short like a Nobel, trippy and good. So the club I'm down, I've been wanting to read those books. Isaac Book Club. That'd be awesome. I mean, I think most of these books are supposed to be queer. So yeah, yeah. No, I mean, I I've read a couple

of books that Isaac has read. And like, I, I remember reading like a BTS post somewhere of like the creators who were like one of the most fun parts of like putting the show together is like picking the books for Isaac. Like that was a whole thing. Was just picking what books he was going to be reading. Cute. What a cool job to, like, pick his books. That'd be awesome. Yeah. I'd love to be Toby and just get to like as part of like your,

What is that called in between? Like when you're trying to just do like the transitory transition scenes where you're just kind of being your character but like improvising. He's just reading. That's what he's doing. That's it. Yeah. It's great. It's like, OK, just like, hold

it so they can see the cover. And that's like, I would love to get to be that character that just like while I'm just doing my improv scenes for the transitions, just like just reading like the general Kobe actually read the. Yeah, just read this, like here, you know, Yeah. He's like, oh, wait, this is good. Hey, I'm gonna actually do this to read your leg. Is it one more? Hold on. Wait, wait. Yeah, that also. I feel like that would also be a good way to cheat.

If you can't remember your lines, just have like a slip of your of your lines. I'm sure some actor has done that somewhere. I and I would not blame them. Just like how to slip all the time. Yeah. I mean, like, it's film. It's tough. It's real life, man. Yeah. So I saw friends bloopers where they hid it under the fruit bowl. That's funny. Oh, my God, That's really funny. I know. I've heard of such weird places that people hide their scripts in film.

Just like, yeah, in the kitchen scenes, I hide it in the oven. I'm like what? It's really funny, actually. I hope that oven doesn't work because I've been doing nothing. All of them script. OK, cool. But but yeah. So the next scene we assume this is all like in the same day. It is the next class they're in math class Gross. It looks like it's either algebra, geometry, I can't remember.

I haven't taken math in like 8 years, so I don't remember anything, but they're doing like the, it's not the, no, it's not the Pythagorean theorem, is it? A ^2 + a ^2 + b ^2 = C ^2 except for his a ^2 = b ^2 plus. I don't know, I'm confused, but I'm just like, OK, cool, that looks so fun. So they're already having a great time. And then we the same thing happens. He's like, look, Elle did this thing in town.

It's like or no, Charlie and Isaac are just kind of like, OK, here we go. And then we cut to, which I think is science class is the next one. I think so. And they're doing some experiment of some sort, could be like engineering class or they're doing, they're building something. Yeah, they're is definitely. No, it's definitely history. They're definitely learning history. Yeah. They're building like AI don't know, a little Coliseum, I think.

I think it ends up being that they're trying to use electricity to like make a little bulb building physics. Yeah, something like that. And Isaac finally is just like Tao. I love Elle because yes, they're friends, but I don't need a minute by minute update on what she's doing. Tao is like, I'm sad, I miss her. Charlie's like Tao. It's been a day, which Charlie was away from from his boyfriend

for three weeks. So I mean, he kind of gets a pass on saying that, but also like, I mean, how obsessive were you with Nick when you guys were away from each other? So like, hey, thank you. But it is it is. Come on, Charlie, tell us. Like I'm so alone. Oh my gosh. I think it's what is it Charlie? Is it Charlie that says Charlie, what are we your imaginary friend? Imaginary friends?

It's just so funny, which I'm like, I part of me wanted, really wanted Charlie at some point to be like you'd you got mad at me for doing the same thing like what L does later. But I'm like, yeah, I feel like that's something maybe Charlie would never actually do that cuz that's just not in his nature. Maybe that's true. But L super would and L super Yeah, exactly. Here's your bullshit. Yeah, but this whole thing is like. Thus begins the arc of this episode where Tao's friends get

sick of his lovesick shit. Yeah, for real. Especially Isaac Tow makes this jab at Charlie. He's like saying, like when Charlie says he can't make his relationship his whole life, Towel's like, oh, yeah, who are you eating lunch with too? Or who are you eating lunch with today? And it's like, oh, towel, you really don't know what is going on, you poor fool. Because it's like we know the whole context of why Charlie's eating lunch with Nick specifically that.

One got me. How like I just wanna I I wanna hug him, but I also just wanna shake him. Like my guy, pay attention in your. Eyes. You just made things worse and you didn't even realize it. Yeah. But he's also like, to your point, like he's operating off of the fact that, like, last year, Charlie was obsessed with Nick. And he's like, he's like, you literally did this. It's his way of saying Charlie.

You did the same thing with Nick when you first started dating him and, like, hot calling kettle kind of thing. But without realizing it, he's, like, harming Charlie's mental health because, like you said, Charlie's got more going on than just. He's with Nick because, like, he's spiraling, not because he's, like, code. I mean, he is kind of codependent, but like, codependent from a romantic perspective. Like, how kind of this. Yeah.

And like last season or first season, it was like they were spending time together because they were secretly a thing and Nick wasn't out yet. And that was a lot more complicated. And we're kind of kind of back to the same thing where in a way that Tao is kind of just assuming things and isn't trying to hear like what's actually happening. But in this case, Charlie, like in the first case, it was Charlie couldn't tell Tao because he didn't want to out Nick.

But in this case, Charlie is not going to tell Tao because Charlie doesn't want to tell anybody because it's so hard. It's already hard enough for Nick to know what's going on. He can't even like, he's not even. I mean, he's not even telling Tori what's going on, if that, if that says anything. I know. I know. So that. Yeah, yeah, Tori's like the one person besides Tao and Isaac

that he would tell anything. He's not even telling Isaac when Isaac asked if he was OK. So it's like he's not going to tell Tao, especially when he's so deep in this whole thing with his girlfriend. Also, the end of the scene, there's a moment I didn't catch it. I turned on in closed captioning. There's this little bit while Tao's looking at his phone that you hear Charlie and Isaac. So they light up the light bulb and you just hear Charlie go. We La La la bulb.

I catch that. That's so cute. It's like the music kind of overpowers it because it's like the transit, like a little transit into the next scene. So I wouldn't have caught it without the closed captions, but it's so cute. I feel like that was it addition by Joe. I hope that was improvised by Joe because that'd be really cute. That's so cute. So now I'm just like, I have to go back and watch all these scenes now with closed captioning, like what Caitlyn does just to see if I've missed

any of those little lines. And then when Tao's looking at Elle's Instagram, which is this next little part before we go into the next into the next scene, Tao is like flipping between Elle's bio and then he goes to hit or to her Instagram. And then he goes to his Instagram and you look at Elle's Instagram and there's so many pictures of there's like a couple like pictures of her. There's like one picture of her and Tao and then the rest are like her art.

It's all like beautiful things that she's done, which there's also there's a cute little painting. I think it's like on the top middle of the Instagram grid and it's a it's a painting of Charlie and Isaac on the beach and it's like taken from behind them and it's really cute. Like you can see them and it's them reading where they're sitting together. And then you can kind of see like what looks like probably a silhouette of a gang playing volleyball in like the background.

And it's so sweet. I never noticed it until this last watch that that painting's there. So the fact that she paints her friends like that's what she does is she paints the people she loves. That makes me so happy. I wonder if that was a teamwork thing where like because Tao was taking a million pictures at the beach, I wonder if he took a million pictures and then like she used some of them to like create art to capture the

memory. Like I wonder if they that was a team approach between that would be so sweet. Oh my gosh. Right, because we saw him taking a ton of pictures like during that that like beach was true. That would be really cute. Yeah. In the meanwhile, we cut to Tao's Instagram and it's full of pretty much just pictures of him and L and some pictures of just L And it's like, you can tell, like, the difference between, like, L is like, very much doing her own thing.

She's very independent. She is thriving because she is doing her art. She's getting to do her passion. And Tao's current passion is L so it just kind of says a lot about where he is versus where she is.

And that probably definitely I, I feel like that definitely like is not helping his insecurity in this relationship and feeling like he's not good enough for her because she's not as obsessed with him as he is of her, which I get I totally get the feeling of not matching my energy means you don't like me, like I like you. It's very scary. But it's like how no, he she loves you. She loves you. She really does. She just also really loves other things.

That's OK. Yeah. That's how like, her loving her art does not make her love you less. No. But it does go to show that, like, Elle has found a way to balance having this intense relationship with Tao and having her own life. That's like why she wanted to go to Lambert. She's like, you're important to me, Tao, but also like me doing what I want is also important. Like, I found balance. Whereas like just looking at the Instagram, like Tao's entire life is L and it's like, where

is Tao in that? Like who is Tao? It's like Tao. I don't know that he's conscious of the fact that like he's like kind of losing himself in the relationship. He's like he is becoming the relationship and not being his own person and like he's kind of a stubborn person. Like we've kind of seen him, he gets kind of stuck in his ways sometimes and he's stubborn.

Like he is willing to change and apologize once he like comes to terms with the fact that he's like doing these things, but he's not like super conscious of it. And it's like becoming more apparent to him that, like, Tau is getting lost in the relationship. And like, Elle is present in the relationship, but like, where is Tau? So like, he has to figure out how to balance this. And it's like, you know, it's his first relationship. It's very intense.

And it's like, that happens. It's not like he's a bad person or anything like that. It's like this happens. Like, you just get so lost in the relationship that like, you do lose who you are. And it's like you have to like, take a step back and be like, OK, like, how do we Like, how do I do both right? Yeah. Especially I feel like at this point Tau doesn't quite, he hasn't quite established a passion like Al has.

Al knows her passion as her art. Whereas Tao, like obviously we know he loves films, he loves like studying them, he loves learning about them. But obviously like at this point in the season, he hasn't discovered that passion for his passion for the future episodes. So that definitely probably is part of it. And I think that also shows like the start of his journey of finding himself a little bit more as a person by discovering that passion.

So, yeah, good point, yeah. Also, the last thing I I noticed in the scene, Tao's insta bio, it says was shorter in my previous life, which I wonder, is that supposed to be a reference to his character in the comics? Because Tao in the comics is actually way shorter than the rest of the group, and Elle constantly teases him for how short he is. Because I'm going to believe that it is. And that's hilarious.

I love that. Yeah, I think you're right, because I think that was one of the jokes in like the fan base when they first announced the cast. It was just like, he's so tall, he's tall, he's so tall. I'm like, I think the cast because of how good of a character he is. He's he's a perfect Tao. But yeah, he is taller. I like, I I like to think that that was them being self aware and making fun of that fact because that's that's so funny. I love that so much.

Oh. Before we get to the rest of Heart Stoppers Season 3 Episode 3, let's take a break for a few brief shout outs from Patreon. So as always, we really appreciate everyone who supports us, whether it's on Patreon or somewhere else. Come on, Cameron. Yay. Great job. Theor's hearts went off if you're listening, so let's get on to shouting out our Chaos Crew members on the big Gay Ride or die tier and above. So we have Angela, Rin, T, Natalia, Ina, Jill L, Regina, B Monet, F, Dana and DG.

Thank you for supporting. Us and our featured big Gay supporter members for this episode are Aika F Jenny Charles. Can you cut that out? Sorry, we have IKA, F Jenny, C&V. Thank you again. Thank you guys. We appreciate your support. Hope you're enjoying these episodes. And yeah, if you want to be a chaos crew members, for $5.00 a month, you get access to these episodes early. No ads and a bunch of other stuff. We just don't have time and the energy to edit to put on other platforms.

So go have fun over there. It's a great time, all right. Back to heart stopper. So we are now where Charlie walks into Mr. Ajayi's. Is that how I say Elena? It's Mr. Ajayi. Ajayi. Oh man, Ajayi's classroom and he sees that he and Mr. Farooq are being gay. So the faces on these teachers, if you just stop on their faces when he walks in.

They look like they got. Caught after curfew, they look like children, to the point where when I was writing this note, I wrote the faces on these kids instead of teachers. The tables have turned. Charlie's the adult. It's so cute. It is. I love. First of all, where did Nathan get a ring? And second of all, why are they playing with it like a couple of children? Because you see, he's literally like, the ring is like, I don't remember his. Like his, his.

It was one of his fingers that you don't put it on. And he's like, not a ring finger. Yeah. He's just like trying to fit it on the finger. And I think that's like, why they're giggling is because it's like too tight or whatever. And then these two are letting themselves be young and in love, which I think is really cute. Like how childish this moment

sees. Because you heard in like last season, Mr. Farouk say that he was never going to get to experience those beautiful teenage moments of like, being like being able to be yourself because he didn't realize he was gay until he was in his 20s. So he never got to have those moments as a teenager running around with his boy, his partner or whatever, just getting to live that that young life. So now he gets to do it now with Nathan, which is really cute.

I love that Nathan. Brings that out in him, though. He needed that. It's so sweet. Yeah. I also love that Charlie's like, do you mind if I ate lunch in here? And Nathan's like, Oh yeah, we were just clearing out and Yousef literally still had Mr. Fruit, literally still has food on his fork. But they're, yeah, they're just clearing out. Sure, sure.

Mr. Jai, that's great. So I love, I love that Nathan had no faith in them to not act gay in front of Charlie, that they couldn't just still finish lunch in there all together. Too gay to function to get a function. Charlie probably would have. I was like, would Charlie have asked questions though? They might have been worried that Charlie would ask questions, but would he? I don't know. Probably no. I feel like he would have just watched.

Yeah, I feel like. And then told Nick later, yeah, Charlie's kind of like one of those. It's not in my business. I'm not gonna prod kind of guys. So yeah, cuz he gets that enough, probably. So I feel like like this was swish and it was Tori. She would have just she would just be gay and then sip her lemonade. She would and then they'd be like, well now we're leaving. OK, Like story. Jeez. Meanwhile, Darcy would have been in there and she'd be like, or they would be just like, oh hell

yeah. Downtime. Yeah, so. Funny. OK, so once Farook leaves, Charlie opens up to Nathan about his brain not being good at the moment, And he initially tells Nathan that it's less stressful eating in The Art Room. And like, this is where you see Nathan's face. Like, really understand, like, what's going on? He's like, oh, something's not right. And it's just so nice to see the bond between this teacher and

student. And it shows how much teachers like students impact teachers, and teachers impact students because they're able to see when something's wrong quicker than a parent, even because they also spend more time together. Especially when you're younger and you have 1 teacher all day.

Yeah. Especially because Mr. Jai was like the teacher that Charlie went to like before the events of Season 1 when Charlie was getting bullied, he would go into The Art Room and Mr. Jolly, I think he says in season 1, Mr. Jolly was the only teacher that cared. So Mr. Jolly was like his go to support system through all of that. And then was in season 1, any time he'd go into the The Art Room, especially like at the end

of the season. And then he was there when Charlie passed out in the museum in season 2. So I wonder if some of that is all just like clicking in this moment of like, oh, oh, well, so this is this is still a thing that's happening with you. OK. OK. Yeah, that's a really good point. And I think to Charlie's point, like the reason he can open up so easily is that this is his safe space, like The Art Room and Nathan.

So it's easier for him to, like, say these things than it was necessarily to, like talk to Tori in like their house, the oppressive house with his oppressive mother kind of thing. So I just, I feel, I feel like he's just like, unburdened. And it's easier to say the hard thing out loud, basically, or at least try to. Oh, man, if only we got Tori in The Art Room with him, that would have been a whole, a whole heart pouring out kind of situation, right?

Yeah, I agree with that. I want that Now. I don't know how that would happen, but I want that. Yeah. Yeah. I don't. I don't know if she's allowed to go into. Well, as I say, I don't know. I don't know whatever she wants. I don't know what the wheels are with those schools. Like, is she even allowed to enter the school? That's, I don't know. That's like unsanctioned or whatever.

I have no idea. Anyway, Charlie starts to tell Nathan that he has a lot of rules and right as he says that, he stops and looks at his food because that's not telling at all. But this is when everything starts to go dark and fuzzy and the scribbles are all over his lunch. And this intensifies and covers more the screen as the music intensifies until it does this sort of like explosion thing and you see it still like the end, very end of it when you cut, we cut back to Charlie.

And it's almost as if this. Anxiety and issues are like blowing up in his face now and like, he cannot hide from what is going on because they're just getting so bad. It's like it's swallowing him whole, basically. Yeah. And OK, like you said earlier, the dart room is his safe place. It's he finds solace there and it's been there for him longer than he has known Nick. So this this is even safer because he also doesn't have to worry about the room's fear feelings.

And now the room isn't even enough to protect him from the eating disorder, so he has to face this. And Nathan seems to understand what is happening with Charlie, which again, I love, and he doesn't want him to shut down. He's been through a lot of things with Charlie, as you said. So he cooks us in to continue talking by asking him what happens when he breaks the rules or if he breaks the rules. And Charlie says that he doesn't know, but it feels like something bad is going to

happen. And then he. Immediately dismisses it by saying that he knows it's silly. And. Again, the show is just so relatable because I do the same thing and. It's just the. Anxiety and fear of burdening someone else so you want to keep it in and hope it goes away on its own. It won't, but you want it to. And This is why he needs someone like Nathan to keep him talking about it and not and know it's OK to share because if he does shut down it, this is going to get even worse.

And he cannot even he can't afford to have it get worse. So if Nick didn't interrupt him, I think he would have been able to get Charlie to open up more and like really talk through things. But Nick's here, and Nathan basically knows his place, like, knows that when Nick's here, he's takes over. So before walking out of the classroom, he does take a quick look back at Charlie because he doesn't really want to leave him, but he's letting the boys

have time together. So once Nick sits down, Charlie tries to keep the conversation on the teachers because that's safer. He's like, so there's something going on there. There's something gay. But Nick is like, this is not what we need to talk about right now. But that will come back to that gayness. Nick brings it back to their phone call. And we get throughout this part, we get multiple close-ups of Charlie ripping apart his sandwich. So I don't know if that's a

rule. Pieces have to be small so it doesn't seem like you're eating as much. And I believe we see one from like Nick's point of view as well, like from where he's sitting. So he's noticing this and Charlie starts to Charlie like

to try. Charlie starts to shut down kind of or withdraw himself because of Nick's questions until Nick changes the subject to his birthday and then immediately Charlie pops up and becomes his old self because this gives Charlie something to look forward to and distract him with. It's it Like it's basically night and day with how he was in a split second all depending on what the conversation was. He also just doesn't want to talk about himself because that would be burdening someone.

Else. So then we head to Nick, Charlie, and Tao sitting in the library. All right, sitting. Tao is laying on the couch, kind of just like, all sprawled out, you know, checking the phone for Elle as usual for this day. And Charlie fell asleep on Nick again. No anyway, Charlie.

Falls asleep. On Nick but doesn't realize it and he tells Nick that he just has no energy which means that this eating disorder is getting worse and it's really affecting him in all aspects of life because he's just not getting enough food. And this really needs to be addressed. And Tao is his usual oblivious self while he's texting with L. And he then says LS in for Sunday or I believe it's Sunday and gives away the surprise that everyone will be at the birthday surprise.

So all of this is showing that Tao is still very unaware of what is going on outside of him and L because L again is his obsession. So we shall obsess until we have no idea what's going on in life. And then a different part of the library. James and Isaac are at a book display, because of course they are. And James makes a comment saying that he wishes he had a boyfriend. And Isaac's reaction is just like, no, you cannot because he needs at least one single

friend. And this poor guy is feeling so neglected and uncomfortable being a third wheel and you, you can't blame him. I feel so bad for him because especially for someone who just not that he doesn't understand but like just doesn't care or like feel the need for this type of relationship. It's kind of annoying when everyone around you is obsessed with that. And you're like, no. Let's let's talk about a book or you know what? I'll talk about anything else

except your love life. There is more to life. Yeah. It's like, OK, so this happens with friend groups just in general, regardless of like sexual orientation at this age because that's when people are coming into their sexuality and starting to explore that and like couple off and pair off. And that impacts the friend group that you've had that predates puberty, basically. And so some friends get kind of left behind in that.

And they're like, what the hell? I thought we were friends, but you guys are like prioritizing your romantic relationship over our friendship. And so then Isaac ends up just being neglected and nobody seems to realize that because like, well, this is what happens, right? Like you just romantically pair off and like prepare for like the future, which is like marriage, kids, blah, blah, blah, or whatever. And then Isaac's like, well,

what the hell. So it kind of goes to show you like how friendships get de prioritized sometimes and people start prioritizing romantic friendships. And like, that's not always a good thing because friendships are important support groups And like, you end up like hurting people and you don't realize it. Kind of like, that's like Isaac's part of Isaac's journey. Like, he didn't have to be an asexual character for this to kind of like, play out.

But like, it's good that he is because we need that representation. And that adds a whole other layer to all of this. That's like more complicated. But like, this just happens in friends groups and it's like, really sad. Like, you know, and it can hurt just as much as like any other, like, relationship that's fracturing. It's harder to join conversations too, because you don't have anything to add to it. Like, Oh yeah. I, I can relate to that date or something.

And like, I, we, we weren't at the date. Like it like romance and like coupling by definition is exclusionary because it's just between the two people. Everybody else is excluded from that because they're not alone with the two of you. And when they are, you don't want to be. So like Isaac learns, like he's like, I don't want to be. Why didn't watch a movie with you too? It's so annoying. So like, yeah, they are. And like that's Tao's problem.

Like he spent his entire summer coupling with Elle and now he has nothing to talk about with his friends other than Elle. Like because he made his entire life his relationship. And like the other friends are like, what the hell? We've been your friends the whole time you've been ignoring us because you were prioritizing your relationship, the romantic one and de prioritizing your friendships.

And we've been together longer than you have been a romantic couple with Elle. Like, so it's just amazing the way that kind of like, switch goes off and it's supposed to be normal, right? And I was like, this is supposed to be normal. I'm supposed to prioritize romance. And then he comes to realize that like, oh, no, like, my friendships are important. What am I doing? Like, by the end of this episode. So like, yeah, it's just interesting that this happens. Like, this just happens.

By the way, we're like, indoctrinated to like, prioritize Disney. You've got to prioritize romance because that solves all your problems. But like does it sometimes it creates more problems like you're seeing here in your friend group.

I hope James is a little bit more prominent in Season 4, especially like as a friend for Isaac, because like especially now, like everybody like especially like now Isaac being out like at the end of the season and James like being aware of like, oh, OK, you're you're ace. So OK, OK, that makes sense. That probably is like for him a little bit more, especially after the whole if there's nothing wrong with you, you probably just haven't found the

right person. Now he's just kind of like, oh, got. It. My. Bad, my bad. But yeah, now he's he gets it. He like really gets it. I feel like he would be such a great friend, like just for Isaac to lean on to just understands. I mean, from 1, he reads they have things in common just as friends, you know? Yeah. So I would love to see more of him in the next season. Just, like, being around, honestly, just being around more the friend group, but just like, also being a friend for Isaac.

Like, that doesn't have to be romantic at all. So I think it would actually be kind of special if it's only Isaac's friend, if he's sorry, not it. If he's. Only Isaac's friend because that does give Isaac a special person and allows him to basically have like separation between the group because, you know, sometimes they're too much for him. Because I feel like Isaac's more introverted, so he'll need time away. And that way maybe James and him can go to a bookstore and just read.

They don't even have to talk. They just read next to each other. And I bet that they would love that. That's true. Because like we, I mean, we learned in like season 2, like obviously Isaac has like a genuine fondness for James because like at some point when he says like, I thought that I would feel romantically about you probably in the sense of like, I do really like you as a person.

So I thought that that was going to be romantic, but it's just not like it. So like he he definitely like really likes James, like as a friend, like genuinely to the point that they could be like really close friends. So I agree. Yeah. And during the scene, they keep talking and they get into a conversation where Isaac says he doesn't know if being with someone is right for him. And this is when James asks if

he's aromantic. And the expression on Isaac's face is the cutest thing because this is the first time anyone has ever understood him without him having to say anything. And he is so impressed. And it's because James read a book with an aromantic character because #representation matters. And this is just playing it out in front of us right now. It's not just for you, it's so you understand others. It's power of reading too. Side note, after they graduate, who's going to upkeep this table?

They're always making gay as fuck in the middle of this library. They'll find baby gate here's right there. They cast the torch and be like, listen, this is the representation table. You're being tasked with that. I mean, once Charlie is like running the school, you know, that's true. That's true. He probably signed into law. Could put that like, yeah, the the the gay table, the gay book table must be. No, there's not going to be a whole section. There you go.

There's like there's like multiple tables, a blow up inflatable. That's how's doing he he fundraised for that thing. It was like a big rainbow. Oh my God, just has to be inflated at all times, always. God. I can see that. All right, So after the library, we shoot on over to the Spring household and we're in Charlie's room where Charlie is wrapping Nick's birthday present and Tori's chilling on his bed. And Tori comments that Charlie has rewrapped this gift at least

three times. And Charlie's like, whoa, Tori, I want it to be perfect. And I kind of noticed something because like we we'd make the joke that Charlie says, oh, it's going to be perfect over and over again. And like in this moment, it kind of clicked to me like why he

keeps doing that. I think this is another manifestation of Charlie's currently undiagnosed OCD or obsessive compulsive disorder, like the fact that he is rewrapping this gift three times and Tory's like, it can look like tissue paper and he wouldn't care. Like Nick would not care the part. The fact is that Charlie's giving him a gift, not what the gift is wrapped like, but in Charlie's brain, it has to be

perfect, right? So I'm starting to wonder if like every time he labels something as quote perfect, this is a hint that his OCD is fixating on like whatever this thing is that he's talking about. All right, All right. So in the scene, it becomes kind of apparent that Tori seems to be just like hovering near Charlie just as he exists because like, she's worried. I mean, she's seeing all the signs. She notices his his lack of eating at dinner tables, his

recent behaviors. And so I think she's just kind of hovering because she's worried and like, maybe hoping he'll open up to her or like, I don't know. She's also lost in this moment too because she doesn't know what to do, kind of like Nick. So she's just like, I want to be there and do what I can, but I don't know what that is. The later Nick comes to collect Charlie for the big birthday

surprise thing. And Corey and Nick share a moment alone where they basically thank each other for trying to help Charlie because like, they're the two that like, notice what's going on with him. They're his closest confidants, like we've been saying. And they're just they're kids trying to figure out what to do in this very scary situation. And so they're like mutually grateful for the other.

And so I think it's really sweet that they're bonding over this mutual love for Charlie, but also really sad that like they're bondering bonding other such like dire circumstances versus like forming a normal like brother-in-law, sister-in-law kind of relationship deal. It's more like they're trauma bonding unfortunately over this like bad thing that's happening to somebody they both love, you

know? The fact that so Tory like asks like if like if Nick had talked to Charlie about her texts and he says, yeah, I'm, I'm trying to help him, trying to get him to talk to your parents. I appreciate that Nick does this. He doesn't elaborate necessarily. He doesn't like expose like he doesn't disrespect Charlie's privacy because, you know, Nick is like the one person he trusts with all this.

And so the fact that Nick doesn't divulge that information, he says just enough that Tori knows that something really is going on and he does. He is trying to help. And that Nick, Nick is aware and that he genuinely cares and that he's trying to do something about it. And and also Tori now knows that she's not alone in her worry about her brother. Like if anything, it's got to be a little bit. Like obviously she wouldn't want anything to actually be wrong. It'd be better if there wasn't

actually anything wrong. But at least she's validating to her knowing that she isn't imagining this. Like there is something to be worried about and she's not alone in caring. Because that's got to be hard, feeling like you're the only person that cares. I mean, she's just isolated in so many ways. This is just another example to your point that Tori's, like, feels very alone and is seems very alone, you know? Yeah, she's she's alone for a good portion of the show, it

seems like. Oh, yeah. Like, even like the. Well, in the beginning of the season, like we see her completely alone. And she, instead of going out with her friends like Charlie does all the time, she stays home. She does her own thing, obviously, like she says, like she she would rather do that than go out. She doesn't really care to go out too much. She's very introverted. But sometimes it does get lonely even when you choose to be alone.

For sure. Yeah, Yeah. And of course, after this is when there's the montage of everybody surprising Nick at the birthday or for his birthday at the zoo, which as somebody who grew up going to zoos, I grew up with a brother who is very passionate about zoos, zoology, zoo sciences and conservation and everything. That's what my brother does for his passion. So grew up going to zoos all the time.

Great choice for group outing. It's always fun, especially because Charlie had to plan it last minute. I may or may not have gone down a rabbit hole learning about where they filmed. So apparently it's like it's either the Whipsnade or Whipsnade. I think it's the Whipsnade Zoo. It's apparently the largest zoo in the UK and it is one of two zoos run by the Zoological Society of London, which is an organization that focuses solely on conservation of wildlife and wildlife habitats.

I will say on the Wikipedia page, it's a shame Heart Stopper hasn't put been put under the filming at the zoo section of that page yet. It looks like it hasn't been updated in a long time. Also, I think I said that admission tickets are like $34 a person. So I'm like, who is paying for this admission? Like 40? Like, I don't know if it was like 30 four U.S. dollars or if it was like British pounds or something, but I was like, who is paying that?

I mean, I don't have that money as a kid, so. All right now. But yeah. So the group begins to pair off and everybody else, well, everybody else begins to pair off at least including Sahar and Imogen. Even though they aren't a couple, they do pair off and go do their own thing. And Isaac has this moment where he's very frustrated because this is what he's been doing this whole time.

He literally just said in one of the last scenes, he's been third Wheeling so hard and so immediately goes to his bag, brings out his book. And it's crazy because this is one of one of the first few times we've seen in just in the season that he's actually has a book instead of like being engaged with his friends. And in this moment, it's because he tried, but everybody else left.

So that's kind of sad. And during this montage, Charlie gets to feed a lemur, which is really cute, which is one of the, I guess one of the things that that zoo actually does IRL. They do a lemur experience there. We can feed them, which is really cute. Nick watches and he says it's like a mini Charlie which I'm I'm very confused like how? I guess it's just like he's cute. Like you like you. Yeah, exactly. That's sort of the thoughts ended. I'm like, but yeah, it's it's a

cute thought anyway. So Nick is like taking a video and he's like, smile. We don't see Charlie actually look at the camera at all during this or in like certain shots even there's like a selfie that they take at some point, like a big group selfie and Charlie is like very mostly hidden behind Nick for that selfie. So there's this is like the first part of like Charlie not liking being in pictures and all

that. So I think also it's Charlie's again, his OCD because the, the goal is to make this perfect and he feels like he's not perfect. So I think his OCD is like, well, you can't be in the photo because if you're in it, it won't be perfect. You're going to ruin Nick's birthday. So I think that's partially why he keeps hiding himself because he doesn't, he will ruin it by not being perfect. And he wants the day to be perfect for Nick because I think his OCD is demanding that of him

at this moment. So it's really sad, Yeah. So then after. That we get this like weird scene of. Like, I guess like goat feeding, like, you know, petting zoo, a part of the zoo. And like Sahara and Imogene are like Co parenting a goat. And then Tara and Darcy see this and Darcy's like this seems pretty gay to me. It's like another iconic Darcy line. And I love that Tara looks and she's like, yeah, like something's going on there. Like what are they doing? They're Co parenting a goat.

Yeah, especially when you remember. Season 2 in. Episode 7, when I think Imogen calls Sahar an ally, she's like, I'm not the only ally here. And Sahar is like, I'm bisexual what are you talking about? And just like how stunned Imogen is and as she walks away, you just hear Tar go interesting right? This is Part 2 of that, huh? Huh. Too gay to me. Yeah, and then we cut over to the baby. Elephants, they're so cute. I love baby elephants just rolling around in the mud.

I have to wonder how they got those shots of those baby elephants. Like, did they just, like, hang out there and wait for the elephants to do it? Or did they, like, did they have like, the zookeepers, like, coax them or something like, or do they like, time it where the zookeepers are like, oh, yeah, this is like the time of day when they go to their mud bath or something. I don't know, they probably got the zookeepers very involved in that, but I thought that was really funny.

Imagine. Yeah, yeah. Cuz it was like perfect shots of like, cuz usually when you go to the zoos, like animals aren't always lively and doing stuff cuz they're animals. They're just like, today's not the day for my friend. And so like, yeah, it's cute that they got a lot of action shots of the animals, like doing stuff. There was multiple days, I imagine at the zoo and they were filming to get shots like that. Cuz like, you know, they're wild animals. They they do them. Yeah, yeah.

So then the gang. Wants to take a selfie or Tara? Says we should take a selfie with this elephant and Charlie immediately is insisting he'll just take the picture, not with him in it. It seems like Charlie has definitely hit a point for the day at least where he just doesn't want to be in pictures at all anymore, which could be a combination of like his OCD and also just like feeling fatigued by it. I've definitely been there before where like I've gone to like a family thing and

everybody's taking pictures. And at first I'm kind of just like, yeah, sure. And then I get to a point during the day where I'm just like, can we please stop? I'm done. I'm done taking pictures. I've been, I've been to like bachelor Bachelorette parties where there were just like endless pictures. And I'm just like, can we just, OK, I'm just trying to have fun here, please. I want to look at them again, right? Not this many, not. When it's hundreds of photos. Good God.

And apparently this is when Tao finally seems to pick up that something is weird about Charlie because Charlie is insisting not being in the picture. He insists on taking the photo. And Tao even like I think says something about like, you know, it's not really a selfie if you're not in it because that's. Kind of the point of. Selfie. Or I think he says we can all be in the selfie, and Charlie's like, no, it's fine. So I wonder if that's what he finally he's like, huh. That's really.

That's weird. OK. Yeah. Weird that Charlie doesn't want to be in the picture of his boyfriend's birthday party. Yeah. Especially when Tao, like, being the tallest one with, like, probably the longest arms, is fully able to, like, take the selfie, like, everything. It's totally doable. Charlie's like, no, it's fine. I can just do it. And then in the next scene. Is when we. See another moment, this is when the guys are in like, I think it's like the rainforest is what

it looks like. They're like the rainforest area and it is the girls and. Darcy. Darcy. Tara. Imogen Sahar, there's like a lady who's just like walking past them who's another guest. There she goes. Excuse me, ladies, very, very polite. Like just I'm getting past. Excuse me, but this immediately. Darcy is just kind of like ladies. They get the ick. From the lady, from being. Called a lady and Tara immediately picks up on this and

she. Goes. Does it bother you because the other girls are just like, it doesn't bother me? And it's like. I've always been called a lady. It's fine. And Tara's like, does does it bother you? And Tara, she's like, yeah, I'm not a lady. And Tara. Like she. Obviously picks up. On it, but she doesn't. Try to press Darcy on it. She's kind of just like, OK, OK, Which I feel like I wonder. If like if they were.

Alone, maybe she would have asked, but since they were like with their friends, obviously she didn't want to make Darcy uncomfortable. Which I really another thing I love about Tara, she just is very, very respectful of Darcy's like journey. She doesn't try to make Darcy admit to anything or anything. She just keeps her like she's just continues being the supportive partner for her in whatever way Tara is really. She's really emotionally

intelligent. Like she, you know, she picks up on like a lot of like not only she's like book smart, but she's like got that body language reading emotional like street smart kind of thing too, where she like I think is good at reading people and good at knowing when to push things and when not to. And anytime they have difficult conversations, like Tara's really good at navigating those conversations, especially when they're like emotionally charged

ones potentially like just like this where she's like, OK, she's just very mature in. An emotional. State which is not always the. I mean, like a Tao Tao Tao doesn't have that. He's he's on a journey. He's developing. But like Tara is like the peak spectrum of like emotional maturity. And it is a good example of like her displaying those skills with society. We want to label everything. And I feel like. Tara isn't like that.

Like she doesn't need. To know fully what to label Darcy right now, she wants to let Darcy figure out what's going on, and if Darcy has a label later, that's fine. But this is just Darcy and I feel like that's how Tara's treating them. Yeah, yeah, I also remember in. Season 2. I think it was Tara. Literally says when they're talking about prom, she's like,

you could wear a suit. So I feel like this has been a thing for a while now, where Darcy does not like dresses, Darla Darcy does not like dressing up feminine. So this has been going on for a while and Tara's just kind of gone with it. She's like, whatever, you know, this is you, this is who you are. So I and that's something I've always appreciated about her.

She just kind of doesn't even at first she didn't even think about it. She's just kind of like, Oh yeah, Darcy doesn't like feminine stuff. Cool. Whatever. Right? That's just Darcy. Yeah, great. Moving on. So the fact that she's been so, so supportive, if anything, just like, if anything, enabling Darcy in the best way from day one. It's like we love it. And then of course, followed by Tao and Isaac, these boys.

They butt heads. There's a little bit of an argument that happens in this rainforest. Oh boy. And of course it it escalates to the point that everybody can hear them. So it's very awkward. Tao calls Isaac bitter for being single. And Isaac says Tao just hasn't been a very good friend lately because he's been only focusing on his relationship. And Tao is a last jab. But Isaac's asks, well, if you're, if you're so upset about being single, what happened to James? Oh. And so that makes.

Isaac walk away. He's like, Nope, we're not talking about this because first of all, Isaac knows why it didn't work out with James, but he doesn't told the group except for Charlie and he's like this is not the time for me to divulge this information. This is not the time for me to come out to these people not in this setting.

So he just he walks away and of course everybody stares at towel and I and I freeze framed on it and Darcy is just giving like the most uncomfortable stare at towel and then like looking from side to side like. And Nick? Nick is like. Nick's got his arms crossed. Like in a very nick pose and he's just looking at Tao like what the hell dude. More. Tao like we're just trying to have a nice day at the zoo. Like on my birthday, man. Come on.

Right, these boys. But The thing is, like, they're both defensive and like. The things they said. Weren't untrue like Isaac there is bitterness and Isaac at this moment Tao doesn't know why and Isaac doesn't want to communicate it right now. But and also, like, Tao is obsessed with his, like, they're both saying true things.

It's just it's coming out in an argument versus like, a calm conversation, like, And like, there's been tension brewing between not necessarily between the two of them, between the two of them. Yeah. But like Tao and the front group and then Isaac and the front group because of these, like, the secret Isaac's keeping about himself that he's processing and figuring out. And then Tao, like, is completely blinded by his relationship. So like, unfortunately, like,

they're boys, I guess. And this is kind of how it came to a head in an argument. Like this happens sometimes and just when people are avoiding talking about stuff. But like, there was truth to what they were both saying, you know, Unfortunately. OK, so Tao and Isaac's beef continues and all the way to lunch. Where they're not. Eating beef so I just chips. Out not. Talking to each other and they look like little children because they.

Huff and turn. Away from each other, so they know that they are both still upset with each other and the rest of the group. And I thought. It was the rest of the group, but really it's. Just Tara and Sahar. Try to go back to a normal conversation and Tara. Asks what animal? Would you be out of the? Ones that they saw today, but like. First, Imogen, it's like. Into the drama, but also like trying to stay out of the drama. But she's, she's here for it. She is.

She's the drama queen and stuff. And then Tara and Sahara, actually. Trying to have a conversation so. Sahara says that she would be a zebra, and now this is where I went down a rabbit. Hole. And I'm like the. Animals have to. Mean something and. You should also know that Theora. Gets a text. That my notes are going off. Track. And she's like, Oh yeah, this is a. Really rough episode. Meant for mental health. I'm like, Oh no, I'm researching

animals. Of course you are, because it's me. OK, so A. Zebra. And it's symbolism. And what it means in media, so one, it's has unique identity so. Zebras, no. Two zebras have the same stripes. And just like zebras, Sahar is one-of-a-kind. Because I mean, look at her like she came in confidence, knows who she is, puts Imogen in her place. So funny. Love her, she's an. Individual. And all the confidence and black the with the. Black and white stripes.

The most? Basic of this that I got from it is this. Is so hard as bisexuality both you can't just pick one color and how. They blend opposites. Too, because Imogen and her are. Opposite in. A way because like they, they tend the butt heads, but in a good way. And they do balance each other out despite those differences. And so it's like a zebra, and then zebras have confidence. And. Strength today defend

themselves. When? Needed and Sahar does that as well and it wasn't really her defending herself but when Imogen says that they're both allies and Sahar is like I'm bisexual like it was just so matter of fact and being like she was defending who? She. Is and is. She's unafraid to speak her. Mind. So that's she is a zebra and what I find really interesting. Is that at this particular zoo? Trip Imogen. Her purse is zebra striped. That's what she brought. To this. Equation.

And so it was really funny. I was like, yeah, that's amazing. There's a screenshot. Of her holding her purse. It is zebra striped. What could that possibly mean? I don't know about Imogen. They this is totally a coincidence. No, they don't. They don't plan anything on this show. They don't do anything. The props department never does anything on purpose. No, they've been sleeping on the job. Just to be clear, that was fully sarcastic for anybody listening.

Like, no, the props department, phenomenal. Literally just went off on a tirade how they purposely put flag colors in the rooms when they're having conversations about stuff. So like, yeah, Oh yeah. So, Tara. Says that she would be a rhino. I'm like, these are very interesting animals. I mean. Obviously it has to be the ones that. They saw today, but rhinos they

had. They are strength and resilience, so they're powerful and tough, and they're known for their ability to endure harsh conditions, and Tara embodies this strength. Through. Like facing society, she stays true to herself, having to be the strong one in the group to be there for Darcy, resilient through like all. The pressure that's put. On her rhinos. Are guardians. Rhinos are also. Symbolized.

Protective and grounded, their calm, stabilizing presence, and Tara mirrors this by also being there for. Darcy. Offering comfort and just being reliable. For her friends. And rhinos are often seen as symbols of ancient. Wisdom. And again, Tara, the emotional maturity she's. So. Mature wise beyond her years. Wish she could just be a kid so yeah. Is that all turning to the Animal Planet section of Heart stopper yeah that's that all

tracks that all tracks. So while lunch is going on, Charlie is. Struggling and. Again squeezes his arm and Nick. Tries to get him. Out of this and ground him by putting his hand on top of Charlie's hand that's squeezing Charlie's arm and he asks if Nick asked Charlie if they should go somewhere. Quieter. And this is where Charlie snaps at him and says no, I'm fine. And they both look stunned. After he says this. Because. This isn't like him and they both know that.

So again, this is we're just seeing more effects of this eating. Disorder. That's become too much, and so much is just changing. Yeah, I think this is this. Is Charlie's OCD. Escalating because if you think about where they're at right now, they're at Nick's birthday party, the thing that's supposed to be perfect. And Charlie, I think feels like because he's not perfect, he's ruining the party.

And if he has to leave the lunch with everybody, because remember, he gathered everybody for Nick. Like, they easily could have just had a trip with the two of them without the friends, and Nick would have been fine with that. But Charlie's overcompensating and trying to make this overly perfect in his brain. So I think that, like, part of the snapping is like, no, if I leave, I'm going to ruin the party.

And I'm trying to make this perfect so that everything can be perfect so that I'm not broken, blah, blah, blah. And like, I think this is the OCD, like, why he refuses to actually leave this table because he's on a mission to make keep up appearances or like, make this perfect for Nick. So he's like, overcompensating in a lot of ways. And like, it's very evident from Nick who's been watching this behavior that like, Charlie isn't OK. Charlie does need to get away.

Charlie needs energy, like, but the OCD has a grip on him at this point. And like, you know, it results in him snapping. And I think that's like a manifestation of, like, the bad thoughts in his head, you know, and he's just tired of fighting it and, like, snapping, you know? Yeah. I mean it's. It's a lot. Definitely for this. Next part I wrote Tara, but I think it's L. Right L tells Isaac and Tao

that. This. Is uncomfortable because no one wants to be around two people who don't want to be near each other and talk. They're overtly sulking. At the table like look at. Them look at their violations, they're making this uncomfortable for everybody else. They are ruining the party. It is not their party and they cannot cry if they want to, Right? Exactly what? That's not. Right. No, that doesn't happen. Anymore. That. Used to happen all the time. Mark Gatlin.

The hell? I'm just, it's been a rough day. All right, Theo, it's your turn to have camera problems now. All right, let's do this. Just. Oh no. It'll happen at the very end, just wait like I'll lose all Internet. Or Oh no, go bigger girl. Oh no, we'd lose the whole thing and we just have to like redo it all or just lose me. It's fine, no? Brooklyn's barking downstairs because she's alone. Oh, that dog. OK. And because they're both. Too not proud, but they're being children.

They both say that they aren't apologizing and like they both say cool. And then Tao being Tao has to be bigger than everybody else. And it was just like cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Great job, Tao. So mature. Wait. Yeah, so. Mature. This is why we go to Tara first. Yeah, I feel like. They definitely both like. Really like where they their anger comes from is very genuine. It is very, like, valid in a sense. It's just the execution of

addressing their discontent. That was very, like, not great. Yeah, I agree. It was just immature how they're handling it. But there's truth to what they said, you know? Oh, yeah, they need to talk. We need everyone to just. The whole group just. To sit down together and talk about what's actually going on, because even the extended people, because everyone is there. And it made me think. That. I could just picture Farouk and Nathan's group therapy in The Art Room with all of the yeah.

That'd. Be hilarious. Much needed. OK, so. Then El and Tao. Go to get ice cream. Because I was. Like, all right, if you see, we're going to still be like this, I got to remove one of you from the situation to alleviate the discomfort for everybody and the rest of the group tries. To cheer up Isaac. But they're not very helpful. Like Tara says that Tao and Ella are just in their obsessive phase and it will pass. And Imogen just immediately adds.

That. She was also obsessive over her first boyfriend and then Nick because she liked him, but she got over it. Super quickly. I wonder why? But then Tara says that she thought Imogen didn't really like Ben that much. Because, yeah, and Imogen admits that she doesn't. Know. If she liked him that much and that she just liked the idea. But we'll talk more about that in a later episode. Yeah. And the key dialogue from this is when she says I like the idea

of having a cool boyfriend. Like, so she was just seeking, like, status from having a cool boyfriend. And that was what she was really happy with, not the partner part. So that's like important because of like her, the way her journey turns into the like the comp head story, which is so important and it's never told.

It's like never really told well, because like it's such an ingrained indoctrinated thing in the society in which we live in and like English society as well to like have image and saying these things that are unconscious because that's indoctrination, like compact stuff.

So like her dialogue is so important that like she's like, I was really just chasing the status is really what she was after and that made her happy was having that status because that's something you're supposed to want to have. You know, the same way that like, you know, the way Tau has tunnel vision for his relationship because like having romance is what you're supposed to strive for. Once you have it, you do everything to keep it kind of

thing. And then like, so I love that you have a character, Isaac, in the midst of all this, who's like doesn't relate to any of this. I love how he calls how he calls her out and she's like, we need to make this all about you. Supposed to be comforting me first of all, but like, I have somebody like that view all of us and be like, I can't relate to anything that you guys are

doing. But really you're like making yourselves unhappy and then like fracturing all your friendships by chasing these things you're quote, supposed to want to have. Like, are we really happy with these things? It does bring up a broader question by like, having an arrow ace character kind of like in the mix, which I really love. Makes me think, you know, I hope we get to see more of it. Oh, yeah. Obviously, Season 4, Season 4, where are you? We're waiting.

Taking too long, as always. OK, so then when when Elle and Tao get ice cream, Elle brings up that Isaac isn't wrong and they have been ignoring everyone. So, yeah, yeah. I love, I love what Howell says. It too, she says. What you said to Isaac was kind of mean and it's I like that she says it in. The inflection of her. Tone, it's not even like, hey, you were being a jerk. Like she doesn't even like call him a jerk. She doesn't call him any names.

She just says it was kind of mean what you said, which doesn't necessarily reflect him as a person. And I really appreciate that she chose that wording. She she basically Elle's really good at knowing how to meet Tao halfway in these kind of situations where it's like she knows him, she's able to see him and where he's coming from, but able. She's not afraid to call him out and be like, hey, maybe don't do that. I appreciate that about her. Yeah, that's true.

That's a good way to. Look at that. Yeah, she does it without making him feel like he's a bad person. So right, cuz he wasn't being a bad person. Like he there was truth to what he was saying. It's just like he said, it just came off as very like aggressive and mean. Yeah, he's not a mean guy. Just what he said was kind of mean, right? Yeah. And then? She tells. Him something that he really.

Needs to keep. In mind and remember because she points out that Tao got mad at Charlie for doing the exact same thing. Like we had this, we had multiple scenes. About it Tao and you forget because now you're. In love, you're in love. I mean, yeah. It's true. It's like. You don't relate to it until you're in it, and then you're like, oh, no. It's like one of those empathy things where it's like couldn't

empathize with you. Tao was just upset that he was losing his friend, you know, because his friend got sucked into a relationship. And now that he's on the other end of it, he's like, oh, I get it now, suddenly. All right, so. Let's continue this. Because these two boys need to talk. So Tal and Isaac do have a heart to heart in the aquarium. And I love that they're in the section of the aquarium with the big sign on the wall that says fish have feelings, which, yes,

animals all have feelings. But also I love that that's in the room with them because I feel like it's kind of a metaphor for Isaac because we end up using fish as a metaphor in the conversation later with the friends. But like, he feels like an outcast of the group because of his identity that he's coming to turn with and like, he has feelings too. So I love that this message is like lingering as they're about to have this conversation. So in the conversation, Tao apologizes.

For having quote romance. Goggles on that turned him into a bad friend, which, well, said. And Isaac apologized for feeling for feeling bitter about everyone else's romantic relationships. Again, like again, there was truth to what they said. It was just came out in anger, right? And at the core of it, Isaac is

afraid of being alone. He's coming to terms with his identity, but it seems like the cost of that is going to be loneliness because like all summer, his friends that were that are in romantic relationships are paired off or whatever have been pulling away and excluding him whether they intended to or not. Like Tao and Al tried to include him on like watching a movie, but like they were actively excluding him because they were lost in their little love bubble

or whatever. And it's basically leaving him kind of like lost with this like identity crisis that he's having. I think Isaac is kind of spiraling a little bit with this as he kind of comes to terms with a lot of this. And the key point of all this is like. Just because somebody. Is arrow ace. Doesn't mean they want to be

alone, you know. It just means that they don't prioritize romantic entanglements or even like want them in the first place, but doesn't mean they want to be alone and avoid all human connection whatsoever. So as this moment gets really serious, like the rest of the friends kind of are out gathered in the aquarium and Darcy being Darcy breaks the tension and asks do you think they're any

gay fish? Which gets a laugh from everybody because it's Darcy. And then Isaac uses this opportunity to jump on the fish metaphor and basically come out as arrow ace to the group. And he asks, well, what happens to the fish that don't fall in love with any gender? Do you think they're OK just being on their own? And like, again, insert Isaac where the words fish are in this conversation. And without missing a beat, Nick, the best boy replies. I don't think they're on their

own. They've got loads of friends, I love that. That that's Olivia Coleman's influence there. Nick. Is the biggest. Green flag. I love him to death. And Isaac expresses how. Basically. Why he's been feeling bitter and he he now that he realized he's arrow Ace, he's like, this changes everything I knew about myself. And like, to me, I think it's the bigger, scarier thing is

like, what will my future be? Because like I've been mentioning, like in the current societies that we lived in, we were indoctrinated to see the future as marriage, kids, a house, etcetera, right? And being arrow ace causes Isaac to have to rethink all of those things because there is no marriage in that scenario. There's no kids probably in that scenario, at least not traditionally speaking, when we think of those things. So I think that's expressively

that's hard to grasp. Grasp with and figure out number one. And then #2 again, these are. Teenagers coming. Onto the cusp of adulthood where he's just figuring out who he is as a person. And then to add this layer on top of it is really a lot. So he's like, I'm going to have to rethink my entire life now because I see all of you guys walking down that kind of like pairing off, heading down marriage, houses, cohabitating

kind of thing. And he's like, that's not for me. So what will my life look like? And actively I'm being excluded by all of my friends. Does this mean I'm going to be alone forever? So it's good that Nick says that, but like they. Really need to step. Up and actually be better friends to Isaac because like they're all the while they say that they're actively excluding him constantly.

So like, we're going to have to meet each other halfway to like, be the supportive friend for Isaac and give him the companionship that he requires to, like, be a happy person. Yeah, I love during this whole thing. When? Isaac is like basically saying. Like this is basically changed everything about that I ever

understood about myself. Nick basically says like it's OK to be upset and he admits to having cried when he did the am I gay quiz back in season 1. He admits everybody and given Charlie's reaction, it seems like he and Charlie have already talked about this, which I'm kind of sad that we never saw that That's true, but it, it seems like Charlie already knows this is what happened. I'm sure at some point in this relationship they've talked about it, but that would have

been so funny. I just Charlie's reaction, like, Oh my God, you did what? Right, 62% I'm like, so you know, the night that I hugged you and then I, I left. Yeah. So after that, this is what happened. And Charlie's like, what? I just love that. That would have been so funny. Ultimately, this scene ends very sweetly with the message of like, figuring out who you are in general is a process, no

matter your identity. And like while you're going through that, lean on your friends because they're there to support you and love you and also friends. You actually have to be there for your friends when they need you. Like this is a two way St. everybody I know. And then Nick says it's normal to. Be upset. Charlie says it's a process and it's like, it really is. It really is a process. Like being upset about it. It happens. I mean, it is.

It does shake your entire world. It turns it upside down, but being upset is can it can be the first step towards accepting and loving yourself. So people who I mean, we look at Mr. Farooq, I don't, I don't know if he ever went through like because obviously he didn't figure out he was gay till his 20s, but like, did he ever have a time where he had all this internalized homophobia? Possibly.

We hear a lot of people who don't realize their sexuality growing up because of a lot of their internalized phobia, like queer phobia, homophobia, everything. In some cases, like for women especially, like their internalized misogyny growing up, they don't realize that they're lesbians until they're older because they have that internalized misogyny. So it definitely could be the

first step. Being upset about it is at least an acknowledgement of it. An acknowledgement sometimes is the first step to to healing and accepting Always, always. Absolutely. That's a really good point. So now that we've. Resolved the friends. Situation ship. Everyone kind of like migrates out of the aquarium except CC goes to sit down on a bench and Nick sits next to him because Charlie has no energy and he

needs to rest for a minute. And now that the romance goggles are off, Tao notices that Charlie is behavior is not normal and he's worried that something's wrong. So he finally like now that he sees Isaac, he sees Isaac's Payne. He's acknowledged it now. He finally sees Charlie and he's like, what the hell is going on with Charlie and what does Nick know because Nick's with him. Yeah. And then the next scene we go to the. Gift shop.

And this is pretty much where Tao like straight up confronts Nick about Charlie's weird behavior aggressively. He's back to being Tao, the like overly protective mom of the group. And he's like, what the hell, Nick? And it's like God damn it, Tao chill for like he's always zero to 100 Tao. There's no middle with Tao. He's just he's overtly passionate about stuff and he doesn't realize it. So he's always zero to 100 and it's like Mama Tao chill.

Let the boy talk, be oblivious to a lot, but once he knows he's all in, that's it. That's it. Yeah. He's like a Mama grizzly bear. He will take your face off like for protect his loved ones. Like. I love that. And I love that about him. I do. Yeah. The fact that he he goes up to Nick and this this part of the scene just gave me a bit of anxiety. Just like he goes up to Nick and says is there something wrong with Charlie? Wouldn't Charlie Right. It's just weird being away.

I'm like I know how do. Not. Hear you. Oh my God. And Nick, Nick, Nick naturally, like hesitates. He's like, I mean, the obvious answer is yes in his mind, but he can't say that because it's Charlie's privacy. And he looks, he looks over to Charlie hesitantly and before he just says very like very unconvincingly no. And obviously tell Tao it tells him exactly what he's asking. It's like there's something's up. He could see through it immediately.

Whether or not Nick intentionally meant to hide it or not. He's just like, I can't tell you. And he's like Nick. Nick even says I'm I'm not the person to tell you this. So tell very sincerely asks, should I ask Charlie if, if you can't tell me, is this something I need to ask Charlie? It's a, it's a very sincere delivery of that line and I love it. He, he sounds genuinely worried, like he, he really doesn't know what he needs to do, which is very much what Nick is doing right now.

He has no idea what he's doing or what he should do. And in this next shot, I really like. The. Execution of this, so Charlie is both standing separate from the rest of the group while the rest of the group, like the girls and Isaac are all like conversing and they're in like the circle and they're all chatting. And Charlie is standing by himself.

Probably like partially like waiting for Nick 'cause you know his boyfriend, but also it just kind of symbolizes like how he is slowly drifting from the rest of the group. So there's that part of it, but then he's also in the background between where Nick and Tao are in the foreground, symbolizing like this. I mean, this conversation is literally about him. And it's just such an excellent choice of like the angle and choice of like the placement where the actors are in this shot.

It's just so well done. That's so good. Yeah. That's a very powerful use of just like letting the blocking and the framing of everybody's speak for itself. I agree. That's. Thank you for pointing that out. It's so good. It's literally telling two different stories at the same time, which is great. Yeah, exactly. And then Tao is about to like, say something Aiken to like. Charlie's acting really weird lately, but Nick cuts him off because Tao is about to spiral

about like, what's going on? Why is this happening? What? What do we do? And Nick's like, no, no, no, we cannot do this. Charlie's right there. We cannot do this right now, man. And Nick, once again, everyone else, yeah, literally. Like, yeah, Also everybody, this is not the place to cause a scene. So Nick basically like, Oh my gosh, what's the word? De escalates it. Before it gets. Anywhere and Tao was like, he says.

I can't talk to you about. It or you can't ask him about it. And Tao was like why not? And Nick's like, because he can barely talk to me about it again, not. Disrespecting Charlie's. Privacy in any way, in the sense of like, he's not telling anybody that something's wrong. He's not telling anybody what Charlie's dealing with in the sense, but he's sending enough to be like something's up, but Charlie does not want to talk about it. We need to respect his privacy.

So and I just love that Nick is Nick is just like top notch about that. Like he is so dead set on. Making sure. That Charlie's privacy is the most important thing, especially because it is a big trust. It's a big trust factor in their relationship. And that's like one of the big foundations of has been since the beginning of their relationship is their trust for each other. Even in season 1, Charlie season 1 and 2C not outing Nick Trust is like one of the biggest

things in their relationship. Excuse me, I agree and it's such an emotionally again. Emotional mature answer for Nick to be like listened how I again he understands that Tao is worried and loved Charlie too. Like it's you know, but Tao is like, I want to help right now and Nick's like, listen, this is Charlie's story to tell you, not mine. Like you got to let him tell you when he's ready.

And like, that's a hard thing to hear when you're worried about somebody and you can actively see something's wrong. And like, again, let's go back to Tao's insecurity from like season 1 when he's like, he was purposely kept out of the loop of the Nick and Charlie relationship by Charlie because Charlie didn't trust Tao with that information. So I imagine that insecurities coming back to towers, like, why

isn't Charlie telling me? Like, you know, it's me, what the hell you know, So I, I imagine that swirling. Around in his brain too, like that. Like Charlie's lying to me again kind of thing. Like that's got to hurt how? Yeah, for real. And then right after this Nick kind of the way that Nick walks away, it's like very Nick like isn't there isn't any storming off. It's just kind of like a

genuine. It's almost like you can feel the I'm really sorry without him saying it as he walks off and immediately goes over to Charlie hands him the present that he just purchased, which is a thank you gift that he gives Charlie on his own birthday, which I think is really cute. It's like a thank you gift for giving him having the best birthday ever again. It's it's a ring tailed namer. Still don't quite understand, but it's like it it must be an inside a couples inside joke. Whatever.

Can't relate. I didn't look up lemurs. Maybe I'll do it for next time. I So I kind of tried to. I went down a little bit of a rabbit hole with lemurs, ring tailed lemurs. The only thing I got out of it that could be relevant is lemurs have been an endangered species for many, many years. I'm like Madagascar. Yeah. Is Charlie considered in danger? I don't know. Well, OK, to Nick, there's only 1C. So he's so it is only so many. There's only 1C in the world. So he's like an endangered

species in that way. So Nick's got to hang on to him forever, I guess. There you go. Really love drink. Delever is also just really cute. So I mean, I think that's really what it is. He's like, it's so cute and and I just want to hug it like you. Yeah, yes, yeah. And Charlie, like goes. To hug him. And I'm like, does he literally like doze off? In Nick's. I know he looks like he falls asleep. Yeah, Yeah, like the five

seconds. And then Nick, like, looks down at him while he's holding him and he's just like, oh, I'm like that poor boy. He needs he needs some good rest, that poor boy. Of course. So Nick, Nick kind of picks up on that. He says he suggests that the gang call it a day. He's like, all right, let's go rested Group says yeah, we're tired and I so for the next scene I'm like, I'm very curious. Where was Charlie keeping Nick's

present this entire? Time. That's a great question because I'm like, yeah, his jacket was like relatively big. So I'm like, was it in the pocket? But it's a decent sized present. So those are big ass pockets if that's the case. Or did he like, did they go back to Nick's place or did like did somebody or. That's a good question. Well, just like the the president that Charlie gives him the next scene, I'm like, Oh yeah, right. Where was it this entire day? Because they go back to Nick's

house. I'm like, did they go to Charlie's first before they came to Nick's place? Or did what? Oh yeah, and Nick picked Charlie up at Charlie's house. That's a really. Good point. Yeah, and it's not. Like one of those, oh, he left it in the car because they took the bus. There's no car. Yeah. Exactly. Like, is this just a mystery? Is this just a mystery that we're left to ponder? And they. But they did it on purpose. They did it on purpose to confuse us. So they did.

I wonder if they stopped at Charlie. 'S house. Got it. And told his mom that he was going to Nick's and that he'd be home by curfew or whatever. That's what I wonder is like, maybe that's all it was. Is they just stopped? Into Charlie's place because Nick's house is obviously in, in walking distance, right. Maybe they took the bus back to Charlie's. Maybe maybe the bus stop was

closer to Charlie's place. I don't know that just that like that was to me enough, but I was like, where was this present the whole time? That's that's a good point. We'll never know. Fully. We'll never know. Questions. That need. Unless maybe Alice wants to come talk to us. Want to come tell us? Yeah, Alice, please, please, please, please. Asexual Jesus, we need you. Literally.

So Speaking of Charlie's gift, Charlie gives Nick back every sweater he borrowed because it didn't smell like him anymore. I just think it's. Impressive how many fit in that bag though. Yes, it was a crown bag. You just get pulling them out. This is so cute. This is like straight. From the comics too and I love it. So much. It's so cute. Yeah. And here we have Season 3's iteration of one of them tackling the other. Personally, think tackling tackling. Each other is one of their.

Love languages because like we saw in episode 6 of season 1 Charlie attack like Nick after he said yeah I told tar we're together and then season 2 it was like there were a couple different times I think one of them like sort of tackled each other in season 2 like when Nick like yanked Charlie down on the. Bed in a. Was that episode 4? Episode 4, I think he was in Paris, right? Yeah. It's like before he accidentally gives him the Hickey and everything. Oops. And yeah, and then.

This is Season 3's version again. Is it heart stopper if there isn't any tackling? No, no, they love consistency. Consistency and artistry. Tackling's a love language. It should be. It is. It is. But Nick says that Charlie has to. Keep 1 so. He gives him a fresh one that smells like him. Fair trade, all those. Sweatshirts. I wonder, did Olivia Coleman go out and buy Nick more shirts? Because she's like, I know, probably. Also. Nick. It's the. It's the. Jumper that he wore like that

day at the zoo. So like, does this correct zoo animals? Does Charlie want that? I mean, he takes it, puts it on he. Does willingly he'll. Take anything that Nick tries to give him. OK, so then Charlie mentions. That there's another gift in the bag. And Nick's? Really. Surprised. Like, oh, there is. But how did he not notice that there's another gift in the bag? Because like, it's not small and like he was literally in there

pulling it all. Out so I. Really don't understand how we didn't see it. I think he was just so excited by that. You like my smell thing that he just, like, excitedly tackled Charlie. Yeah. I think he just saw an opportunity to tease his boyfriend. He's just like, oh, whatever. Oh. OK, something. 'S else is in there. Whoops. Up yeah, yeah, yeah he's like hold like in almost in like the honey hold my beer like oh, you like oh, OK yeah, exactly. Hormones. The answer is hormones.

Yeah, there you go. OK. So Charlie's. Actual gift is a memory. Book and there's only one photo and it's of them at the beach together. And he did this because Nick had given him the photo of them with Nelly in the snow. So contrasting experiences but still memory together. But again, there's only. One and the rest of it's blank. Because they still need to make those memories. And the good thing about this is that.

Charlie is. Hopeful enough when he thinks of Nick to think about a future together with him. So that's really big when you are dealing with all of this. Stuff. And the book may be. Part of the gift. But the other part. Is a promise that they will be together for the future to create more memories which I feel like. Is more meaningful than anything. You could buy. Yeah, it's so sweet. One of my favorite things in this scene is the revamp of the

music in this scene. So this, this theme is like it's one of, I guess it's one of Nick and Charlie's just like themes. The song, because it's played a couple different times throughout the seasons, It's the same song that played in the montage in episode 1 when Dick and Charlie are saying hi to each other a million times. Remember in Season 2, it's in the hotel room scene in Episode 6 after they come back from Tyra's party and they're like having their little pillow

fight. It's the same music. Both of those situations like very different points in their relationship. But this one in Season 3, in this scene, the the key has changed. It's been revamped and it's in a lower key and the tone is much softer. It's much gentler, which some would say the scene is very soft as a as a whole.

So I'm like it's, it's so great. It's just it's just another part of their theme of like harshed up or reusing or re like revamping the same music, but making it fit the scene. It's like one of my favorite things that they do. So Addie's car chase is just an amusing. Artist like. Perf. They chose the perfect person to do this show. Yeah, the music in general is. Very powerful, even the music. They use from other artists. It's all very purposeful.

And to your point about the specific scores for the show, it really evolves as the character evolves. But there's the essence of Nick and Charlie that's still there because at the core, they're still Nick and Charlie, regardless of what transformation they go through. So like the music reflecting that is really powerful. Charlie then falls asleep on Nick again. Like does this poor boy just needs so much help and Nick spends the time scrolling? The only.

Social media app Granted there is Tumblr now thanks to Tory, but Instagram and he comes across Charlie's post and the caption is perfect day now we. And Nick know that. Charlie is. Trying to. Overcompensate when he says things are perfect. So poor Nick is just so worried. About him, You. Know the fact that Charlie isn't even looking at the. Camera. He's only looking at Nick. He's only focusing his attention on Nick, even in even in the pictures that he willingly is in just.

I think it just says a lot like that. That's where his focus was. On all day, obviously. So it's like Charlie was there, but he he was like, not. Present he was. There, but not present kind of thing. Yeah, for real. And Nick is so. Consumed by. This. Worry for Charlie? In every single second and he. Revisits his postcard. Where he wrote down the notes that he made talking to Olivia Coleman. Two point O. And you just see the weight that this is has. On him. It it's not just.

Charlie going through this like. It is indirectly Nick. Because. He, I mean, Charlie is always like, he's OK as long as Nick's there. But that is putting it on Nick to be the be strong and be. There for. Him, even though he doesn't know exactly what to do and. Sorry, I don't know how we transitioned to this Nick Wakes. Up Charlie by essentially playing with his hair and then starts doing Weiner note yeah so Nick grounds Charlie again by putting his hand on Charlie's

arm and. Talks about all the things that he is. Seeing from his point of view, so basically trying to get. Charlie to understand like it's. Not just him noticing that there's issues going on like Nick is seeing it too like this is. Affecting you? We need to talk about that. And Nick also says that he realizes that he can't fix this. He's finally accepted that, which is big for Nick. Because Nick. Wants to be the only person that

Charlie needs. They both do for each other, but in this position Nick really can't and he tells Charlie that he needs to talk to someone and it's really sad. That after Nick basically pours his entire heart. Out Charlie's first response is I'm sorry, like. That's again like how? Charlie's been feeling all day that he's not perfect. He's ruining everything. And like, to hear all this from Nick and to hear all the worry, it just confirms his own bias in his head.

And he's like, I'm ruining everything. I made it not perfect. I'm sorry. It's your birthday. You know what I mean? Like, it's really sad that, like, that's where his brain goes to 1st. Poor baby Charlie. I know. He's like, I'm very worried. Yeah, that's the thing. Like, like you're, you have all this. Going on now and it. Wouldn't be there if it wasn't for me being like this, so I understand why he said it. Yeah, but The thing is like.

Ignoring it solves nothing it. Just delays it and potentially makes it worse because the more Charlie delays it, the worse he gets and the worse the situation is getting. So yeah, I think this is definitely. Such an important. Conversation because like and I think that the I sorry I'm. Sorry. Definitely. Comes a lot from like Charlie. It really is hitting him now just how much he his well-being is really having an effect on Nick.

And I think because Nick is saying all this, he's just like oh shit. Like I was really trying so hard to not make him worry and if anything it made it worse. I've made him even more worried. Oh no. So yeah. And this makes him cling to. Nick. Because now he's, because he's burdening, indirectly burdening him. I feel like he's probably worried that Nick is going to like leave or like he's going to lose him somehow.

So like Charlie is just holding on to him and that he tells him that he doesn't think he can get better and he was also worried that his parents will think he's just faking it or get angry with him. Which granted, I don't blame him for like, being scared about like, even if you know how your parents are going to react. That's still it's the. Same thing with coming out like you, you never know how

someone's going to react. But in his case, his mom doesn't understand him, or maybe understands him a little too much to the point where there's too similar for her to be understanding with him. So there is a real. Possibility that they could get. Angry that he's. Yeah, I mean he. Doesn't he doesn't feel safe in his? House is kind of the thing because like, there is a humongous lack of communication

in his household. Like they're they talk, but nobody's really listening or hearing each other and there's really no communication. Everybody's kind of secretive with their own stuff. So like, yeah, to be fair to Charlie, exactly your point. Like he is afraid of telling them because he doesn't know how they're going to react because when he tries to communicate with his mom, it just blows up into arguments. The dad is like absent. Like he shows up to be like dinner time, but like, where's

the dad ever? He's not super supportive of either of his children really, from what we've seen on screen. He just kind of hides. And so like he feels alone. And then there's Tori, who, like is there, but like, also doesn't know what to do. So it's very scary, the whole thing. And so like, it's good that he feels like he can kind of talk about this to Nick at least. So I love when Nick's like, well, let's do it together.

So you're basically not alone in this confrontation that, like really needs to happen because you're a child who needs help to get through this. Like you need your parents to help us, like, move past all this and things like that. So Nick comes home with Charlie to confront the. Parents and when they enter. The house from the doorway, basically, Charlie calls Mom, dad. And then they call like, yeah, we're in the living room. And like, Charlie, once he hears that, freezes.

And they're at this point, they're obscured by the walls. The parents can't see them yet. And he looks terrified, like, absolutely terrified to go do this thing. Like he made it to the house with Nick, but he's still terrified because it's big and. Scary like even though Nick's. There, like Charlie is still the one that has to do this. And that's really intimidating and really scary.

And to Charlie's credit, what he's about to do requires a tremendous amount of bravery, which I imagine is something he doesn't feel in this moment. So yeah. Yeah. This scene. Oh, my God, this. I knew I was going to cry a lot this season, but I was like this episode, I was fine until like I thought the the last scene in Nick's room, I was going to lose it because of the comics that made me cry. I was like, Oh no, but I was fine.

And then the song complex starts playing and the the lyrics start like she starts singing the lyrics and I I was gone. It was over for me. I was like, how dare I know what an ending. Scene this ending. Scene got me. In a reaction video I'm. Literally crying and. Theor and I had to take a break because I started crying way too much so I. Got a panic attack after. Watching this ending but it just shows you how moving this show is and real and it makes you

feel things. I know whoever picks the music. Like the self. Yeah, whoever whoever decides the actual like soundtrack of like the non the non score music, like whoever decides it like really knows how to capture the emotion of the scene, even if like the lyrics are not like completely 1 to one for the scene that's happening like the the energy like this, the idea of the song is very much there, but also just the the musicality, the actual

orchestration of the music. It's just so perfect to encapsulate what's going on in the scene. Yeah, I couldn't agree more. Yeah, I just everything about it. This was. Quite a scene to. End this episode with so when Charlie gathers his. Courage and goes into the room. With Nick and they sit down on the couch and the parents don't seem to think much of this at first. They're like, why is Nick here? You know, just doing typical

parent stuff. And then Charlie, Nick sit on the couch and the way Nick is sitting with his entire side leaned up against Charlie, he has this very like, I'm here, like protective body language. That coupled with this letter that Charlie shows up with saying, I wrote, I need to talk to you. I wrote this down because it's hard. And then they're like, oh shit, Whatever's happening right now is serious. And so Charlie tells them about his mental health.

Struggles and. His difficulty with eating and he admits that he knows this has been going on for a while and it really took him a long time to admit it to himself that this was going on and now he's at the point where he he wants to go. See a doctor He. Wants to get better. He wants. He needs help. He's asking for help, OK. And as they listen, the parents, their faces start changing. So dad's face goes immediately to just worry, like I can't believe this is happening, worry

hand on the mouth kind of thing. Mom has more of a face journey where she is worried but also looks kind of guilty. Almost like she saw the signs but never put the pieces together or ignored them or just kind of feels like a failure in this moment where she's like damn I. Saw stuff but I. Didn't do anything. Fuck. Like she looks more guilty about it. Words like that's why I'm like,

where's dad? Like his dad paying attention to his kids because this looks he's watching this like, Oh my God, brand new information where his mom's like, yeah, I saw some signs. Oh, shit, this is worse than I thought it was. I thought that he was just angry or acting out or he'd grow out of it or whatever because their relationship is like explosive. But like, no, this was he needed help and I failed him in a way where he's like, Dad, where you been? Meanwhile, Tori Speaking of.

Outkast. Tori Tori is. On the stairs hearing all of this, just like crying and listening to this all by herself. The family's having a giant meeting and Tori is excluded from the giant meeting, which breaks my heart because it's Tori and I'm wondering the way you're like, where's the present? How did Tori get to the stairs? OK Like how did she know this conversation was happening? In my little head cannon, I think Nick texted her.

Because I think they're besties now and they're in it for Charlie and I think he texted her and be like he's going to talk to your parents. I think he would keep her updated to be like, we're going to go do this now so that she knew when she heard the door like Charlie's here and then would like sit Muslim. That's my head cannon for how this went down. Other thing is coincidence where she went to go get a drink and that was like, oh shit and just

sat there. But I I like to think that Nick having you know, understanding that she's also worried would have told her this is about to happen. I have to wonder if she heard. Yeah. I wonder if they're not, like, talking loudly or yelling or anything. Like, nothing would like, really prompt her out of her room. That was abnormal.

You know what I mean? The only thing that I could think of that would be like, different would be given the conversation that Nick and Tori had briefly this morning about he's trying to get Charlie to talk to his parents and then hears Charlie go come home and say mom, dad. And she's like, also true. She. Perks up and she's like. Ha, like Charlie? Probably never. Does that when he. Comes home. That's true. He probably just kind of comes home and, like, goes into his

room and talk to mom. Yeah. He's like, he's asking to talk to mom and dad. What? After he was like, actively avoiding mom. Ha. Oh. Oh. And like, maybe it clicked in her mind after hearing what Nick said before. She's like, is it happening? Is he going to talk to them? Oh, my God. Wait. So maybe that was part of it. I don't know. That's just a thought, or maybe it's Theora's Canon. Head Canon, you know. What? That sounds more interesting, 'cause Nick and I like this thing.

I like that just because Tori needs other people in her corner too. And I feel like with that open communication, maybe that could start more of a connection as well. But the way Charlie says? I want to get better. In this conversation it breaks me so much because he's just. It's too. Much and like this. You always. Get to this breaking point. Of when it becomes too much and you're just like begging basically. And then, OK, so I mentioned that.

I mentioned that I relate. To Charlie, a lot. And I still don't know if. I should really go into this, but I mentioned it. Before. I believe when we're talking. About the graphic novels and. Like I just thought like maybe people would want to know more. What's going through his head 'cause? Like we don't get internal monologues. We just see like what he says out loud. So this like maybe this? Will give people some insight. Into like what he's thinking. So like what is?

It feel like. When you're going through this, it feels like. You. Oh, I wrote this by the way during that panic at right after watching it so this. Is all like what? I remember. And like in that moment. So like it feels like you can't tell anyone because then they. Will feel. Sorry for you, they won't want to be your friend. You will become too much for them. You aren't happy and cheerful enough to be around and. Again, Lynn, when it becomes too much. Like how Charlie feels at the

end of the episode. Charlie has been dealing with so much on his own for such a long time. Some people saw the signs but they let it go because they thought things would get better with time. It's not until it is pushed down enough times that there is no hiding it anymore. The emotions explode like we saw with that one scene with the food. The animation was like basically blowing up. And you feel? Like a failure, you feel trapped and you don't. Know where to?

Go. Your skin feels like it is suffocating you. You want to tear it off. A reason I think Charlie grabs his arm every time his eating disorder becomes an issue for him. You just want everything to stop. But you also just want someone to tell you that you are OK, that you aren't a burden. They still love you and understand you. And once it exhausts you, you feel. Numb. And you think back to everything that just happened, and then you

feel like even more of a burden. And then you tell yourself your feelings don't matter. Focus on those around you. Try to control things you can and make them perfect. There have been multiple. Yeah. So like, again, I really. And there's been multiple Times Now where Theora has made a comment with me that I'm trying to Charlie spring her because I do it a lot and I'm giving myself away. Now. But I find myself saying but I'll figure it out, I'll be

fine. It doesn't matter whenever I say something that is negative or indicating that I'm not OK. I don't want my problems to become someone else's if. I let my. Problems become someone else's. They are going to hate me. That's what my brain tells me. At the end of the day, it's the fear of losing those around you, especially when your circle is already small. And every single time I cry on. This podcast I.

Feel like a failure? I feel that keeping my emotions aside, and I feel that not being professional. So. That's whatever then and. Then when? Where Charlie is right now. I wrote something that I think relates to him, so this was a few years ago and I'm exactly where. Charlie is right now. Not the eating disorder part and I wrote sometimes you wish the people around you saw the signs sooner, but you like to push things down and help others for

yourself. You know you need help, but it's really hard to get it. You know what you need to do, so why don't you want to do it? You are really scared. Like really really scared. You don't want to have to go to impatient, but you know you have to. It has been. A roller coaster. And you are? Exhausted. So everything's just again building up.

Where? Charlie really cannot hide it anymore and he needs to just face everything and turn to people who can actually help him instead of keeping it all in. And I hope that was. Relevant. No, it definitely was and. Like it, it takes a lot of. Bravery to do that, especially when you're in a very scary mental place to do it. So it's very, very difficult to do. And we saw that with Charlie, like even in this. Monologue where he. Specifically says I've had this for a while, like a while.

So like he kind of knew also, but like, like we were saying like it, you know, the first step is admitting you have a problem. And like he didn't want to admit that for like all the reasons you kind of stated. So like he's at an admittance days and then like kind of it's still in denial even after accepting it. And now it's like he's going like the 12 stages of grief, just like apply to so many things, you know, like, accept it, denial, bargaining, like he tried all the things.

And then he's finally like, I can't. It's too big for me. And that's hard, like to admit something is too, too much for you to handle. But like, some, some things are. And I think for Charlie, it was more so about seeing how it was affecting Nick and how it was actually affecting the person he loves the most. And he was like, OK, I need to get help.

Probably. I think his big motivation was like, if anything, so that Nick is OK, that maybe that was part of his motivation to like, including help so that he can be OK too. But at this point getting worse, even if it was part of that, I think Nick's like, fine, just as long as you're going to get help. Oh, yeah, Nick doesn't care. He's like, you do what you got to do. But I think in Charlie's brain, like, that's a tipping point to be like, I'm affecting other

people. It's not just me because of everything you just said where you're like, well, I got to make because that was the whole birthday. He's like, I need to make it perfect for Nick. I need to overcompensate and make his life perfect. I need to control that. But he can't. And then he's like wow, I can't. Despite my best efforts. Nick is also sad. Like shit, that's the tipping point. So anyway, great ending, thank you. Caitlin for sharing I. Appreciate your insight into this.

I am appreciative that they even put this on screen because it really is important. I think more people relate than we realize to these kind of situations. Like no one talks about it because I mean, they do more so now, but I mean, it wasn't culturally acceptable. It still isn't for some people. And I just. I. Really passionate about. Mental Health. And like that people do need to talk about it so people don't know that they're alone.

So people don't go into more of a depression because they're depressed or something or have another thing going on with their mental health. So that's why I always talk about things I did. I didn't read 1 of the parts, but I was going to say like I don't want people to think that I'm trying to make everything about me or like get attention. It's just so you. Other people know that they. Aren't alone. Yeah.

All right. And with that, that was a very heavy place to. End this episode, but very, very necessary as we go into the the big arc of Charlie dealing with his mental health struggle and what that looks like for him, his friends and his family. So that's what's coming up next in episode 4. But as we wrap this up, let's give out our big gay energy awards.

I'll go first. Darcy, every time Darcy said anything in this episode, had so much big gay energy, even when Darcy was just saying things that or just how Darcy was feeling. Big gay energy, especially the fish being like those fish are gay. That was my favorite part. Those they're. Definitely. I love Darcy. I love Darcy so much. So funny.

I think somebody needs to make a montage or like an edit of Darcy just every time she says the word gay in all of heart supper from like season 1. I'm going to agree with the local gays I need. An edit of from. And Darcy was like, I thought there was going to be fish going through the tunnel. The tunnel. Yeah. And then to actually getting to see fish. Why can't we see fish? Oh my God. Yeah, right.

Imagine if there had been fish gay gay gay gay gay gay like really quickly put this put this person put Darcy in a shark tunnel in in just like some aquarium. I don't know if they have, I'm sure there's some in UK or like go to the put them in the Georgia Aquarium in Atlanta with the giant shark tumble with the whale sharks. Whale sharks definitely gay. So gay. Look at that tail swish I. Was. Just thinking about a couple ones. I'm like. Charlie gets some. Props for. Finally.

Getting up the courage to ask for help, but also Isaac being open with his friends. Yeah. You know what James knowing? A romantic without Isaac having to say anything that was important. I agree And Nick. For always being supportive. We had to give out many awards, everyone. Is just so you're like the whole episode feels like the episode doesn't make you it's. The highlights. That's the episode highlights. You just have to watch. That so probably probably wouldn't nick tackle Charlie

just. Because yeah, it's one of my. Favorite things. So it's just very them. It's very them. It's cute. You know what would? Have been the big gay energy. Award to production if they had Nelly in this episode. I'm just saying, Nelly. Was in the beginning, yes, she. Was when he. Was next I invited Nelly before he went to school he said I love you, you know yeah he said I love you hi Nelly, I love you I get a big gay energy award deducted from. Myself.

Then, because I completely forgot, even though I just watched it multiple times, that's OK. You can. You can substitute your big gay energy award for your secret word of the day. I'll say it's OK Echo can take your point. If you made it this far in the episode, we want to know. Use this secret word in either a comment or a review or message us on social media. But you do you. So today's secret word is lemur. Yay. Do with that. What you. Will. All right, Well, that concludes

episode. 303 of heart Stopper. We'll be back next time to talk about episode 4. And until next time, hydrate for Alice or asexual Jesus and get it up all over the. Place. Bye and with. That we've been big gay energy thank you for. Listening We'd really appreciate it if you downloaded this episode and left us a review. No matter how brief, your contribution will help us reach a wider audience. We would love to hear from you about everything and anything.

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Until next time, hydrate for Lesbian Jesus and get it up all over the place.