Blank the Series S2 Ep5 Pt 2: The Couch of Doom

Hello and welcome to Big Gay Energy. I'm Caitlin. And I'm Fiora. Come along with us while we dive into the fun and nuances of queer media. Representation matters, and we're. Here to talk about it. Cheers, queers. What's on the big gay agenda today, Fiora? Today we're continuing our discussion of Blank, the Series E Season 2 Episode 5. This is Part 2. Yeah, out of who knows, it might be two parts, it might be, who knows? We'll just keep going. It's gonna be 3 part.

It's gonna be two parts. No matter what. You're just getting it. OK, this is gonna be long. Yes, Buckle up. Buckle up for this. Apparently we had a lot to say, but before we get started, I just wanted to say if you live in America, things happened very recently where our ability to do this podcast could be limited in the future. So I just wanted to say that. So if you didn't know what Project 2025 is, look that up. So at some point, it may be illegal for us to run this

podcast. And so with that in mind, we're gonna do our best to just gate up all over the place while we still can. So if we just disappear at some point, look what's going on in America. And that's a a possibility. But we will do our best to keep celebrating queer media and queer joy for as long as we possibly can. That is our promise to you. May the odds be ever in our favor, I guess. That's so sad. That's life.

Theora, Theora and I had a whole conversation about The Hunger Games. That's why it's OK anyway. But let's get Oh, well, we're not gonna get into happiness because. Well, no. Also we have to say, hey, quick announcement, become a Patreon member. If you want extra blank content, if you want ad free content, etcetera, go do Patreon stuff. And are we gonna highlight Patreon members, Caitlin? It's in the, it's in it. You wanna give her right? Yeah, it's in there. Randomly.

OK, cool, let's do it. We'll get there when we get there, everyone. Stay tuned. All right, Part 2. All right, so let's get into it. Unfortunately, we start with a scene that I absolutely hate. So meanwhile in the Bua Palace, Big Nong is doing some light reading, minding your own goddamn business when Chet storms in completely unannounced carrying a suspicious brown envelope and he yells I will let little none live with FA no hello super rude Sir. I don't give a fuck how pissed

off you are. You are in a literal palace with the queen there. Show some respect to her like. He has never respected her. At all, he hasn't. He doesn't respect anyone. Yes, we beat the dead. Horse there with him, but yeah. Yeah, but like, I get that he's trying to be little Nung's father and like, the culture's different where they do have more control over their life.

But the way he says that he'll let her pisses me off and makes me, I mean, I already do want to punch him, but that makes me want to punch him even more. Like, you're not going to let her do anything. She's going to have her own damn thoughts and feelings and do what she wants. That's considerable. We can only hope, yes. So to your point, first of all, he's being rude. Second of all, your daughter's an adult and we've been through

this a million times. I'm not going to harp on this, but third, to live with Ping Pho means to move, means to leave Thailand. And now, OK, now we've established Chet is not the brightest. So where did this idea come from? I assume he called Pingfa off screen demanding she come to Thailand because of the big Nung Little Nung situation ship. But who came up with the idea to send Little Nung overseas with Pingfa? Was it Chet Pingfa or the

grandmother? Because I assume the grandmother was also roped into this 'cause he reports things to her constantly, right? I don't know. I don't want it to be the grandmother because I have a lot later. That wouldn't make sense if we say it's the grandmother. OK, I think there's a bunch I think this, didn't I? I don't think this idea came from Shat because think about it, the grandmother already did this with Pingfa. What was her solution to the

Pingfa scandal? Send Pingfa away and then Pingfa also has been itching to get little long to live with her, but she already lost this battle with her mother. So I feel like she would need quote like permission from the grandmother to like to have this idea go about. So then that leaves Chet. OK, who isn't the brightest, but this move is super controlling. So it kind of feels like him to me. But again, he's not the brightest. So like, I also don't know whose

idea this really was. I. See it being Chet because it's a way of him controlling his daughter but still not having to be a. Father also true. Yeah, like. He'd be a dad like oh, I. My. Daughter is living in America, she with her mom right now, so he has none of the responsibility again. Well really she's an adult. But anyway, he again, he has no responsibility, but he has the look that he has a daughter and

that family. Yep, but also he's not the brightest to come up with it on his own so I wonder if one of the women mentioned it and he just like latched onto it and was like yes that blah blah blah. I think because they could easily. Stop bringing it up and then it just spiraling from there and then. Yeah, because.

Yeah. Anyway, because that way she's she's under the control of somebody because like the other option is like, send her to another university in Thailand that isn't near Big Nung's palace, and that also will create distance. But then like, no one's there to control her. Like whoever came up with this, like it's, it's controlling. So like anyway. But there's a lot of controlling people in her life, so who

knows. Regardless, Chet ends his rant by slamming the suspicious envelope onto the table and keeps and keeps going And he's like, how could you do this to my daughter? Now I know why you never accepted my love so. Notice he makes it about. Him like immediately, immediately, it's been 3 seconds and the language in here, it's like my daughter, my love, this is not about Lil Nung. This is about Chet.

This is all about it's always like again, like whether this was intentional or not, my read on him is that everything he does is self motivated. It's not he's not thinking about other people, he's thinking about him, him, him, which is kind of like what the grandmother did to Pigfa. It's like me, me, me. Like they're they are very similar actually the two of them. No they they're very similar but I feel like the grandmother was great about the family name whereas Chet's literally just

worried about himself. Yeah, that's true. That's true. That's true. That's true. So grandmother is more overall Chet's like literally just himself. Yeah, which is very male perspective versus a female perspective, but. The way he like he says. Now I know why you never accepted my love. Like no, she's just. She's not that into you, Chet. Because look at you and your personality. OK here's the deal. Hold on though, what I'm surprised didn't happen in Blank that happened in Gap.

Remember with like when Mon and Sam were kind of going through the whole thing where Sam was stole Kirk's fiance and Sam's like, listen, Mon, it's fine. From the beginning. I told Kirk I'm not in love with him. This is literally to appease my grandmother and he knows that. I'm surprised that like we don't have dialogue or evidence of Big Nung being like Chet, this is literally for my grandmother. I am not into you. I have zero feelings for you.

Like, I'm surprised we didn't have that because she's very blunt about that stuff like Sam is. So I'm just I'm surprised we got that from Sam and not no, honestly. Siora OK. So that could have happened. What are you? Going to say you're right. Chet doesn't listen. He wouldn't have even understood what she was saying. No, honestly, like Kirk is so much, so much better. Kirk is a lot Oh my God a million times better most of the time. Like he put up with so much

shit. He genuinely loved Sam though, like as a human being, like just I genuinely loved her in the show. The book, the book's different. OK, series Kirk not, but book Kirk was terrible. Like he was a piece of shit. Series Kirk was very it actually seemed to care about Sam as a human being. Kirk. I mean, Kirk, Chuck does not care about anybody. You're right. He's self-centered and a narcissist. A bit of a narcissist. Oh my. Gosh. Anyway, and then let's speak.

So that segues into my next point that like if you weren't on that train of thought with us, which like we've been ranting about that the whole time. Let's cut to the next part of this because it's my mind. This is the most solid proof that he is very self-centered. So Big Nong opens the mysterious package and there's photos of them canoodling in the car. So it was the give a mouse cookie scene. That's Nong giving little little along the cookie, right? It's a cheek kiss.

OK, so she's hovering on this photo and remember, he storms in saying, how could you do this to my daughter? OK, so in the photo as we we went through that whole scene in great detail last time. Revisit if you haven't. But the key of that scene was the happiness radiating off of Little Numb when she gets the cookie in the car.

OK? Like she looks so happy in this photo when Big Nung is giving her the cheek kiss, which acknowledge how sad it is for Little Nung and everyone that Chet couldn't see how happy his daughter is in the photo. Like she's so happy in that photo, getting the kiss from Big Nung. So he has never seen the smile before in his life. No, he's never actually seen her smile. This is her full smiling, radiating happiness in its purest form. Visually, you're staring at it. But he can't see that.

Instead, he comes over here to shut down the relationship he doesn't want for his daughter. And yes I acknowledge there is stigma with the Nong's relationship, but as a parent who allegedly loves his daughter, wouldn't you re evaluate your rage after processing the photo and then confront Nung in maybe a more civil manner instead of just attacking her? Like he had that photo for quite some time and did not. He didn't really see the photo

is the thing. The thing is, he has to see little Nung as more than just a possession and I forgot the second-half of this thought. So more than a possession to actually care that she was happy. But no, Nung is just ripping away his idea of the perfect family right now. Right. He doesn't see her as a human being. That to view somebody as your property means you don't see them as a human being. She has been completely dehumanized for him. And this proves it to me because

like that's the photo. Like his daughter is so happy in that photo with big Nung and he doesn't see. He can't even see. He cannot see it at all, refuses to see it like. That's sad and it's so, it's so sad. Little Nung deserves so much better in life that I don't know someone another family needs to adopt her. Maybe Sam and Mon can adopt her. I mean that would be a really weird family dynamic. That would be so. Dynamic. You know what? OK. That would be a very chow dynamic.

OK, Like my aunt is actually my wife's sister. So it's her sister-in-law. That's my mom and. Yeah, anyway, yeah, Anyway, very chow. OK, so I was looking at the photos and I'm like, he's spying on someone whose nobility right now. How is that not a crime? Especially with the laws in place for the royal family that are like, so like you can be

jailed. So I, I looked it up and I, I was trying to figure out how the royal family connected to big Nun and like if there was a role, basically it's me just like not understanding fully. So I'm just going to go over this really quickly. So everyone is on the same page in case there's other people. Like there has to be at least one person who's like, I don't know what this means.

Even if they read it before, 'cause I read the tweet that Juana sworn pointed out to us and it just didn't register. Anyway, so I remembered that Nung's title was ML after like 30 minutes of researching Anyway, so that helped during

research. And again, I'm sure that super fans already like knew this, but so Nunstar's ML, which stands for Mamluang. It is a noble title in Thailand granted to the great grandchildren of a king, and this is often viewed as the last formal rank within the extended royal family before descendants become commoners. So basically the next generation is a commoner. They are no longer have a title. So while not considered royal. So she's technically not royal mom lying.

Title holders are often treated with a degree of respect due to their ancestry. However they don't possess any formal powers, privileges or roles. So like she's not expected to actually like do something with Thailand or whatever. I didn't do too much research into that. So they this extended family is not covered under these. I. Forget how to say it, ladies might just stay.

Protections, meaning criticisms or comments about them, do not face the same legal penalties as those about the immediate royal family, but they're still expected to uphold certain standards of conduct in line with the noble background. So she's not protected, but she's still expected to do all this. So in summary, what Chet was doing was legal. Yeah, basically. I was like, there's. No way. I was strong again. They should have seen him, but

you know, whatever. Yeah, whatever, but thank you Caitlin for that explanation anyway. So Chet keeps going with his disgusting us and calls Big Nung a gender deviant, which I assume is his way of saying I'm mad I couldn't clock you as queer the same way I did with UE because you were a traditionally femme presenting person And it's like, bro, you've seen her in lesbian garb the whole show. This is all you. This is like you 'cause you can't see what's in front of you.

You can't see that your daughter's happy. You can't see the lesbian sitting in front of you like. But like, look at her. Look at her. She could not be gayer I. Know it radiates off of her. He's like big Nung. Just saying more evidence that the man is not bright, he can't see what's in front of him, he

doesn't care, whatever. But anyway, the gender deviant comic gets Big Nung's attention and that's what she stands up and is like yells his name at him because even though she's not the actual queen, she's still an ML being insulted in her own palace. That's the audacity, the audacity of Czech in her a palace. Oh my gosh. In her house, in her palace, in front of her servants, and in front of her. Birds. How dare you, Sir. I'm surprised they're not chirping like crazy.

Are you the same? I'm really surprised. Like you can't hear it. So it's the birds are about to attack. They're just waiting. They're waiting for a big Nung's command. They're so shocked, they're silent. OK, that's how it's shocking business. So all right, but why does big nuts stand up?

Big nuts stand up because she feels like she's losing control of this situation very quickly, a situation she should be in control of. Head of household is being verbally assaulted in the palace is what's happening. And I think she feels unnerved by that because she's always been super worried about Chet. There's two people she was worried about the most, Chet, and then the grandmother.

The grandmother mostly because she's like, that's gonna hurt little Mung the the worst or the most because her experience with her grandmother. And then Chet because she's like, he's a raging homophobe. So she knew he wasn't gonna take this well. And then here it is playing out. So Chet then calls big young liar and then proceeds to spew every single one of her insecurities about their relationship and how it was going to be perceived right back

at her. So he starts with the trust thing and basically saying you've lost the trust of Little Long's entire family, which is what the number one thing she's worried about because the family considered her a guardian, OK? And it was much more explicit in the book that she was like a legal guardian in a way, like a surrogate parent in the eyes of the family. Like legally she was supposed to like take care of Little Nun as a child, basically in her custody. OK.

And and and either way, it makes her an insider in the eyes of the family, not an outsider. So in their eyes, this is seen as a huge betrayal that she was dating the child who's 21, who's 18 in the book, still an adult. But whatever.

The bottom line is that big nun used that privilege as an insider, as a guardian to get close to little Nung and then like quote, seduce her their gender deviant ways, Which is what if you remember Auntie Nim was basically accusing big Nung of when they had their heart to heart, but she did it in a more tactful way cuz she's like, I can't yell at you employer. So like, let's just I'm just talking from the grand man's perspective as her ghostly surrogate or whatever, but same

kind of concept, right? They're like Nung, this looks real bad girl. But like Chad, this isn't insider trading. No, I mean it is insider trading it away. That's kind of the problem, right? She used her privilege to like, undermine them basically and do this horrible, despicable thing, like it influence their daughter and that kind of stuff. And Bingham was afraid of this aspect of their relationship because she knew when it came out, all of their trust in her

was gonna dissolve. And her Master plan of, like, keeping Little Nung's family intact and making the relationship successful when it came out all hinged on them trusting her. And like, viewing Little Nung as a human being and as an adult and all that kind of stuff, to make her own decisions and be like, this was her decision. I didn't coerce her into this. It was actually the other way. It was the other. Way around. Your daughter was coercing Big Nung into the relationship.

When they are all like actually learned that one day I would love to see their faces. Like, I wish it was there was a way for them to see that moment because I, I, it's just hilarious because it could not be further from the truth. I know it that that's the funny part is like, no, your daughter daughter had all the audacity in the world to like, coerce this woman to dating her. So anyway, all right, Petra, Chad doesn't use the word seduce when he's talking to Big Nung.

He says Big Nung tricked her, tricked Little Nung into doing something disgusting. That's what he says. All right. And so when this is happening, I have to shout out to the the crew on this one. So when Big Nung's being lit in the scene, the lighting makes her look very ethereal. It's very golden. It's kind of like shining off of her. And I think that's on purpose. I think what Chet is saying now, these words are hurting Big Numb. The tears are hovering in the corner of her eyes.

Oh, good job, Five. Got to hydrate for you. Hydrate for eyes. Yes, especially for this scene. OK. And I think that lighting is on purpose because Big Numb knows what she has with Little Nung is beautiful. I think she's and very rare. And I think she's come to kind of accept that. But there's always been this seat of doubt in the back of her mind, OK. And we've got over that a million times. And you've seen her oscillate back and forth because of that, seated out.

But here in this moment, when Chet is spewing all his hatred at her, she holds her head up high and takes the vitro because she mentally promised little Nun she was going to fight for the relationship with her, OK. And I think this is her way of kind of doing that. Like, let him get his rage out, Take the High Road. What I have, what we have is beautiful. And I think she's holding on to that. And so, like, that's the lighting. It's like the fantasy lighting

kind of thing. In her quest to fight for it being on Kell's chat, she didn't trick little Run. Again, this is the other way around. And for some reason she doesn't tell him that. Be like your daughter tricked me. I don't know what you're like. Like this. Conversation would not leave me alone. I tried. So hard she kept following. Me like this conversation would have derailed very quickly. She was like, actually your daughter seduced. Me. I don't know what the hell to

tell you. He wouldn't have believed her because he doesn't listen like you said. So honestly, the conversation would have been the. Same but if. Chet had a working brain cell and if Chet could ever process that information, I wonder. If. Pingfa and Chet would actually be impressed their daughter was the one who bagged a big nun because they both tried and the daughter succeeded.

OK, so this is very interesting because we always talk about Ping FA and Little Nung talking about this because you know, they're the two who actually. Loved her, right? But down the road, if Chet can actually get his head out of his house, I could see the four of them because little Nung's not going to do anything without big Nung. So like they're having lunch or like maybe a game night. It's like one of their maybe painful like trying to get them

to like bond more later in life. Just like we're going to have a game night. Everyone's like what the hell? So they're sitting around game a game, playing a game and they all have alcohol because you can't get through a night, no matter like how much you're OK with each other. They still need alcohol to hang out OK anyway. And like they're bonding. The parents are now bonding with Little Nung randomly over Big Nun because yes, all three of

them have been in love with her. And I don't know if this is like the first time it comes out that all three of them have been in love. Because I don't know if Chet knows that Ping FA right, told Big Nun that she loved her. So like, and I don't know if Little Nun knows that Ping FA told Big Nun. So like, I actually would love if that this is the night that it just all came out OK. And I mean, love is a strong word for Chet.

But you know, this is when they could realize that all three we're trying to get with Big Nung. And move on one funny. She succeeded. So proud of you, little Nung. I, I, I mean, I think they'd be impressed if they could ever accept this for what it was and. Be like, damn, good job girl. All right, so then Big Nung is is in her. She's in the middle of defending the relationship and part of what she does is she earnestly tells him we love each other. It's that's it like that.

It's really that simple. It's not trickery, it's not bribery. They just love each other like that's that's their crime, basically. And this silence is Chet for a full second And thank lesbian Jesus, because I forgot this was such a Chet heavy episode and I really needed a break from him talking. So I'm glad he shuts up for like a second. Oh my gosh, yeah. Yeah, And in his silence, he struggles to process what Big Nun just told him.

And then, of course, he shirks it off his bullshit because he never listens to things and people tell them stuff. And he's like, wow, Big Nung, you just admitted you're a predator. A way to go. So she repeats. We, her and I love each other because she's had conversations before and she knows this man does not listen. And honestly, she's sick of his bullshit, so she challenges him. What's wrong with that? And I love this question because at its core, she's asking what's

wrong with love. If two people love each other, isn't that what's most important? Which has been a key message the whole show. It's what little Nung has been repeating since we met her. And Bang Nung is frustrated that their love is not enough on its own. I think that like Loki, she's, she wants to believe that and she's just so annoyed. She's like, why can't that be seen as a valid reason? Why must we fixate on literally everything else? Like anyway. Because first of all, chess

never. I feel like he would still be like this with anyone who was trying to date Big Nung because he's still trying to hold on to her for his own damn reasons. Right, he doesn't, he doesn't know what love is, let's be honest. Maybe from his family because like we saw their family dinner like the his parents are proud of him and do care about him but who knows. What? How would the parents react

knowing that? I want to see that conversation that little nun got to a woman who was supposed to marry their son, I think. I think they'd laugh. This is so absurd. They just laugh and be like God damn it, whatever, never come back. You wanna do karaoke? You're disowned anyway. I mean, the shame. They've been shamed so many times by big This is just another one.

All right, so in the scene once once confronted with the gayness, Chip flips out and says it's wrong over and over and over again until Big Nung demands that he tells her why. And then we get homophobia, as always. This is just like a big thing that people say like, why is it wrong? Like why, why can't two people of the same gender love each other or like just people in general love each other and everyone's just like, oh, it's just wrong. It's wrong.

I just don't I don't understand why that's a valid argument because like they can never give an actual reason why people like why queer people can't exist without just saying it's wrong. But tell me why? What is your? Valid reason. The thing is they don't they don't have one. That's the thing. And it's it's one of those things where a ingrained because Chet's a traditionalist, OK? That's what partially what he represents. That's why him and Luong's

grandmother seem so similar. They represent people of a traditional mindset and people in traditional mindsets put people in boxes. They just categorize people. And you have to stay in the box because that if we stay in the box, everything will be safe and nothing bad will happen. And as long as we stay in the box and never change anything, everything will be fine. Hence tradition. Tradition is you never change stuff, OK?

You just leave it alone. So two people of opposite genders loving each other, that goes against a society that says only people of opposite genders can love each other does not compute to people who are like, you're not staying in the boxes, you're not doing the tradition. And they can't accept that. They're like, I don't know what to do with that. And so they're afraid of it because it's challenging their ingrained belief and they're afraid.

So if you notice, his whole reaction is just emotion. There's no logic in any of this. It's all emotion because he's scared. He's scared. And when people are scared, they can either feel the fear and process it and deal with it or turn it into anger and just lash out at other people and be like, you're the problem, you're the problem and not the problem. It's making taking what should be an internal problem and making it an external problem.

And we live in America. That's what you're seeing in America. That's our political landscape. It's scared people who are attacking other people so they can feel better and not feel sad or like deal with the change that's happening. We have to just attack other people, blame other people. That's really what it is.

So when you ask them to explain, they can't because they don't understand why things are like, they don't understand any of it really, 'cause it's just remember this, this is what we do. Don't question it. And it's like, OK, so when people question things, the cognitive dissonance, people can't like, deal with it. So according to Chat, two women can't love each other. And like I, I, I already got into this.

So This is why he's such a raging homophobe, basically, because if you think about him like it's, it's very not it's it's interesting that he's the big traditional believer, traditional family value kind of stand in character because like it wasn't very traditional family value to like knock up ping Pho as a teenager, but he did that like again. And he he's never analyzed his role in all of this ever. It's always, Nope, I'm not dealing with my role.

It's the other thing too, is like the abdication of responsibility that men often do in life of just like, it's not my fault she's the one who's pregnant. But like you're there, it's only him who can do non traditional things. Like everyone else is expected to be in that box, but it's OK if I do it. Well, yeah, in a piece where media chat, the rules don't apply to men. That's the thing. It's about control. Everybody else is not human.

Everyone else is dehumanized in the structure, and so everybody else has to follow the rules. Everyone else is oppressed by the rules or the men. That puts the men on top. That's how it works. And I, I know that Thailand is not like strictly like a patriarchy. There's like matriarchy rules and things like that and

families and stuff like that. I understand that just he in my mind is like the stand in for like that kind of mindset is what I'm kind of getting at. But then like he never, he admitted it in the show. He's like, I wasn't ready to take responsibility that like he he is OK with like abdicating his own responsibility from bad situations. But then here he is attacking dog without listening to her. Like, OK, and then the other reason, So why is Chad a raging

homophobe? So tradition, traditional mindset kind of like a stand in for that value. There's also that. Or is he a huge homophobe because in this situation? He can't be. Part of this OK, so two women can't love each other. There's no man in that, right? So in his mind, the only reason big because remember, he makes everything about himself in the in his mind, the only reason big Nung rejected him was because big Nung loves little Nung Because remember he said it.

He's like, that's why you couldn't accept my love. OK, so he so she admits I love her, her, his daughter, a part of him but not him. And a little one is also a woman. So this is emasculating to him to be rejected for a woman whom he sees as inferior to himself, hence why he's always trying to control her.

Now the father aspect of all of this is also something that freaks him out because he has no playbook for this like as a father again, remember every time like Big Nung challenged the parents and is like what if Little Nung wants to date a woman, they freak out and then eventually say I don't know 'cause this isn't in the playbook, OK. And like traditionalism is all about following the rules in the

playbook. So when something outside of the playbook happens, I don't know what to do with this. So response is just to get angry about it because we've talked about this a million times. Chet is trying to step into the role of father 20 years later, and he's going off the example his own father set for him, which I assume was more

traditional, right? So his job that we've seen him do on screen is to find suitors for little nun to make sure she marries into a good family, the most suitable man, so she can have kids, carry on his family name, that kind of stuff. The playbook did not say what to do when your daughter is dating the queen. It did not say that, OK, when your daughter is dating your ex fiance, that's not in the playbook. It's only in a Chao Plenoy book. OK, There's a playbook for any of this.

It's wild. This is the playbook now apparently. Read these books. So you're like, I've seen this before, got it. So partially I think he's freaking out because he literally has no idea what to do. And we've seen him try his very best to control Lil Nong into not being gay. That was one of his missions to be like you better not be seeing you, I'm glad you're not seeing you blah blah blah because he didn't want to have to deal with it. Is the other thing OK?

And shockingly it doesn't work. You can't just make people not queer. They just hide it from you. Hence why they were hiding the relationship from you. It didn't make her any less gay, it just she hid it from you. But in this scene he now has physical evidence, the happy photo that he can't see as happy. Here's evidence that she, his daughter, is dating Big Nung, the ex fiance. That's not a lot to deal with, to be fair. Just a lot.

So yeah and like Chet is not getting his way and what does he do? He has a mantrum and double s down and controlling whatever he can. Hence the line. I am letting Little Nung live with her mother. I am because he's trying to control the situation in any way that he can. He also has this picture in his head.

I brought this up a little bit already of the way things like should be so and like that's why he keeps trying to get big numb because she does fill a bunch of these boxes for him in his life that to create the perfect sense of being successful. And I believe I said this before on the podcast, I don't know if it was this show or what show it was, but as a kid growing up, I

feel like this is very common. We all have this idea of what successful looks like, and it's different for everyone depending on how you're raised and like what your experiences are. And along the way, you either realize that it isn't realistic because most times our kid brain is like, oh, this is successful, but it's not always like what's best for you and it might not be obtainable. So you pivot your vision and you figure out what would actually make you happy.

Or they do what Chet's doing and they cling to it so hard that they aren't willing to budget and do everything to get that idea of success so they can feel like they made it even when it's like not possible and it's not the best situation for them. Because when it was decided for them that Big Nung and him should marry, suddenly like he knew that he needed a wife that was like the picture of wife, kids, linear family, but Big Nung was now in the in place of this person.

So it's supposed to be Big Nung and since this is what is supposed to happen, he can't get rid of this idea that it needs to be her. Like I feel like the thought has never even occurred to him that there is other women even of similar status. Like go find someone else. I mean, I feel bad for them, but yes, go find someone else. And like, again, yeah, there are other people at the same status. If that is what is also an expectation in his head.

It doesn't have to be big Nung, but it hasn't occurred to him because he's so set on like, oh, it's supposed to be big Nung now. Especially these are stuck in his ways. He's having an identity crisis, is what you're saying. He's having an identity crisis like. His whole life's a lie, like everything he's worked up to. At this point, a lie is gone and he's freaking out about it. Yeah, because everything is about him, right? It's like the an identity

crisis. And like, like you said, his response is to. It's also the loss of control that he's afraid of. He's like, I'm losing control of this situation, so I'm gonna dig my heels in even more to control it until he slapped in the face eventually with the fact that you can't control Pete and you just can't, especially when the person you're trying to control is like, I don't even see you as a dad like your aunt. Get out of here. So yes. So anyway, so thank you for

that. I agree with what you're saying. So big nun counters his bullshit with love is love, bitch. Gender who? I don't know them. Like don't be so old fashioned. And what a line because big Nung and Chet are around the same age so they're the same generation. So I love that this line comes up because it's pointing out that Big Nung's generation monials aren't in 100% agreement about queerness in Thai society I assume.

And meanwhile little Nung generation from what we've seen on the show seems more accepting. Like, hence that's part of the UE plot line, right folk? You either all like, yeah, whatever, we accept you, we don't care, we'll call you by the right term, whatever you want. So I love that Big Gang says this because it goes to show that like, allyship is really

needed among peers. And granted, she says this in the heat of an argument with the stakes that are high for her personally, but I still like the message where she's like, respect people, bitch. Like stop. It's interesting that she tells him that he's being old fashioned because it's showing that no matter if there's an age gap or not, you're not always going to think the same or agree. So like Big Nung and Little Nung and Big Nung are so similar. People are so focused on the age

gap. Like, oh, you can't relate, but you can't always relate to people your own age either. But people don't see that. Yep, Yep. So Chuck tries with the homophobia as his first argument and when that fails, he moves on to the age gap. Because remember, we're just going through all the big nuns insecurities because remember when she first little nuns like I'm gonna wife you one day and she's like, well, slow your roll. First of all, you're a girl. Look at our age gap. I'm a woman.

So he's going through all those things, right? So he's basically points out you guys are 16 years apart and then it's funny to me that he he says it twice like 16 years long. As if big Gung and Lil Hung just never noticed this big guns like wait what 16 years like. What? I thought we were the same. Age, Oh my God, brand new information. This is him processing that, I think. But it's just funny that big guns like yeah. And the age gap we know is something she's very insecure about.

So when he brings this up, this is when her resolve starts slipping because the homophobia, she's like, I know you're 100% wrong and it doesn't matter. Look at my sister. But then the age gap, she is insecure about that and it shows on her face. And this is the aspect of the relationship where a lot of the conflict that she's been, the conflict really comes from where she's like, am I holding her back? Am I ruining her life? Like it all really stems from this age gap thing.

And the last time somebody brought this up to big none that wasn't little known an outsider. They're like it was Juan Viva and one Viva's the one that convinced Big Nung it's not a big deal. Age is just a number. Like she's like we're out. I'm an outsider to this. I don't really know what goes on in your relationship like and because she trusts one's Viva. I think Sam and Sam and Mon have also kind of said this, but they're more insiders and Lilong also, who's an insider in her life.

All these people who just they're like age is a number girl. It doesn't matter. I think big Nung let herself believe that. And so like, her initial fears are basically being validated by hearing this back from Chet. She's like, damn, I was right. I was a fool to believe this kind of thing. Like she's, she's struggling with that in this moment.

And it's also like she's had multiple people now in her life tell her it's OK and give her positive, not reinforcement, but yeah, positive feedback about this. But I when you're insecure, it only takes one person to be negative, to tear all the progress made down and to make you think it's not right. It could have been 100 people and then one person. It's when you're insecure about it, it's the. It's just the end of it. Yeah, and it's also like who is telling her again?

It's like somebody who can break who has influence over her relationship also, which is bad. And now, OK, so she had has had many positive reactions, like you said that reinforced, hey, maybe a little noise, right? And now she's getting a very negative reaction and it's actively breaking her heart. You can see it on screen because her pauses between arguments, like up till now she's been like going toe to toe with chat.

And then in the conversation you notice her pauses between arguments start getting longer and 'cause she's struggling to keep going and she's struggling to pretend that this isn't affecting her as deeply at it as it is. But Big Nung made that vow to Little Nung to do whatever she could, and she's determined to really keep that. And so she says, So what about the age gap?

Like it's not a problem for us. And although her voice is pained when she says this, she does keep she keeps like your body language here. She keeps her head up high and she's looking chat directly in the eye like challenging him when he's when she says this. And she finishes with we've talked about this already again, like he's bringing us up for the

first time. And she's like, we're fine with it. We've talked about this and they have the biggest conversation being at the end of the last episode where Lil Nung mapped out their whole future. And also the we involves big Nung and Lil Nung and not chat or Lil Nung's family, which I'm sure infuriates him because serious relationships are supposed to be talked at the

family level. And she's like being little Nung have talked only us have talked about this and we it doesn't bother us. You're you guys have the problem and I think he like is like, wow, tradition's out the window for you guys, I guess. And so like you're isolating. You've cast the family as outsiders in your relationship. I think was his hot take from us, if he even heard what she

said, which you never know. But again, he he's not thinking about that this family is anything but traditional. I mean, again, we had to make a murder. Board for it. That's how messed up. I like, Sir. Like come on, man, if the if the world knew exactly what was going on here and even like from the past, I man, do we. Even really know what's going on. Nobody, you know.

No one knows. No one knows valid point, but at the end of this big non wavers physically, almost like this battle with Chet is taking every ounce of strength that she has. And remember, what's key about this conversation is she's fighting on her own right now without her other half is not there. And little Nung makes her a stronger person. That's a huge part of her character growth. So she's only at half strength

in this argument. And I say good, good job, big Nung. She's doing a damn good job for like doing this on her own but it's over time in this conversation it clearly takes a toll on her. So when big man was like listen me and no longer fine with the age gap, it doesn't bother us. It's fine. This still works. Chet sounds super upset when he says you are unbelievable. Like his voice cracks here. Which is really interesting because up till now, his only

emotion was pure rage. OK, so it's a sound upset means he's actually processed some of this and is feeling the sadness. OK. And then he gets into like the insecurity, more insecurity where he like he says he can see that little long. He's like, he's like, why can't you see big Nine? That little long is just a young woman. Like, she's inexperienced and full of potential. And like, that's how he sees

her. Remember we talked about in the last episode how when Ping Pho comes to the art gallery and she says that the line that we hate about the glasses and she's like, you're such a grown up woman without your glasses on. It's like the parents are coming to the realization the very hard way that they're parenting an adult and not a child.

Your daughter is not a child. And I think he is like, again, just views her as young and inexperienced because based on the age she is, like, that's the assumption. But as we pointed out a million times, little Nung's been through so much trauma in her 21 years. She's been through hell, OK? She's actually been through hell orchestrated by all these people that love her and finally found a happiness in her sad, lonely life and somebody who like really loves her back finally, finally.

And it's like all they're just fixated on the fact that she's young and inexperienced and which as an assumption is not invalid. Like it is true. Like she is young and inexperienced in the grand scheme of things because she hasn't lived long enough to she's always been in school. You know what I mean? She isn't experienced in a way, but like, like we've talked about a million times, big non brings the real life wisdom to the relationship and they balance each other out.

We know that he does not know that cause he's looking at this superficially. So he calls big nun selfish. He's like, I can't believe you'd be so selfish with my daughter and like ruin her life basically. And then he throws big nun's childhood trauma right back in her face and he says, I can't of you of all people, you're the smart, perfect eldest daughter of the noble family. Everything the grand man raised her to be.

He's like, basically you're tarnishing your whole family by doing this and he's like, if you're so perfect Nog, why are you a cradle robber is basically what he says because he has no solid argument other than to insult big Nog. And we know that he's sense that she is sensitive about her age and relationship to Little Nog. So this really does get to her.

And then like this is grandmother trauma by him breaking bringing up the perfect shit and like the family stuff because that that's another insecurity that was never resolved for her because the grandmother join the the loyal pin ghost in the palace before she could ever have the conversation for the closure. Not ready for the things you say. The aura. You're welcome. Chet's sole purpose, right? Sole goal right now is just to hurt her. Yes, because like, he's tried everything else.

So like, let's tear her down so she doesn't have the will to fight, basically. So we do see this later again in this episode, but with a different character in a very random and weird moment. We'll get into it. We'll get into it. The other thing is that Chet again, anger is often a deflection of somebody's own hurt feelings being so. If I can hurt you, I'll feel

better and I won't feel hurt. So I think that a lot of this is just he's upset because if you think about it, the whole the whole show, since he's like, she's my daughter. His mission is to be the father. And he's like, my big role is to make sure you marry a good man. And Lil Lung has said to his face, I'm not dating anybody. I'm not thinking about his daughter has been just straight up lying to him and refused to include him for good reason in her actual relationship that she

was having. So like, in a way, he's upset his daughter betrayed him, but he can't take it out on his daughter. So he's he's being like, no, wait a minute, she would never do that. She must have been tricked into lying to me because my daughter would never, because daughters would never lie to their dads. Like, so he's trying to click like also like cling to the lie that he's built in his head that his daughter loves him and she doesn't and she does not respect him and he can't see that.

So he's like, no, it has to be big none. This is all big none. So like, I think he's also upset about that, that he's like this, like you said, the image of being a dad, the image of having a daughter that loves and respects me is shattered in front of his face because she lied to him the whole time. And so he's just attacking big no because he can. He left.

Her listen. On purpose, but also it is ironic that he says that she is a child and is inexperienced when he reacts like a child everything. I'm sorry, Chet, you became a father at 16 or whatever younger than little mom Ping Pho became a mother at 16. Her childhood was over at 16. So like again, age is a number it's your life experiences mature. You mature some faster than others because of their circumstances that they're out of their control. Chest maturity is frozen in time.

Well, again, he he got to run away. He got to be a child longer and he still is a child. But anyway, so anyway, so big Nung is trying to reason with him. Of course he doesn't listen. He just so he just he keeps degrading her and that's all he does because that's all he can do. He's hurt and he's just attacking her to feel better. He says. And then he brings up visuals of the age gap. He's like, isn't it going to look weird to others to others when you guys are walking

around? You're going to look like mother daughter, not like girlfriends because of your age gap. And this is like to me, like the shame. It's the shame thing, right, that Chet's bringing up. It's the stigma of it all. And it's really, these are all the, the darkest thoughts that Big Nun has really had about this relationship that I think she's been secretly dealing with because Lil Nung never wants to hear it. And she's like, it doesn't bother me.

It doesn't bother you. Why do you care so much about what other people think? And it's like, well, we live in a society where like, we have to coexist with other people and like, I, I just, it's going to be harder for us. And and Big Nung is worried about that. So OK so we give them the Big Nung starts getting to her breaking point with all of this and she tries to stop this like degradation that he's doing but he just keeps going.

And then voices Big Nung's biggest greatest fear where he says one day when Lil Nung meets a man who's perfect for her, she will forget all about you and she will be annoyed that there's this old auntie being jealous around her. And that's when Big Nung says enough and yells and cuts him off. Because her biggest fear is losing Little Nun. And we've mentioned this before. If Little Nung ever chose to leave her big, I don't think Big Nung would ever recover from that.

And I don't think if Little Nung chose not the family, if Little Nung chose to walk away from her, I don't think Big Nung would put up a fight. Because Little Nung's happiness is the most important thing in the world to her. But that doesn't mean she would be happy about this. And clearly doesn't know Big because he doesn't know anybody.

Because if this happens and Lola leaves, her Big Nun would just revert right back to old happens because she would keep the jealousy to herself and run away from this. She would remove herself permanently from the situation and she'd go back to being a recluse in the Isle of. I really think she would do that. There wouldn't be Big Nung hanging around being jealous. She would just she couldn't handle this. It's like the oil pin. She's and then she's like, I

can't watch this. I'm just going to leave. Like that's big NUM. Big NUM doesn't like conflict. If there's no hope at the end of the tunnel, she's gone. She's like bye now. You'll never see me again. I don't sell the palace. Fuck it. Go hang out with Cher. You know, Lesbos and Jim and everybody else who's over there. Our fan fiction. We haven't brought Jim up in a while.

Jim would open. Jim would be like want to be roommates dog, Let's do it. She'd take her inheritance and buy the Isle of Lesbos and not be out of that. Yeah, Oh my gosh. Big nuns. I love Lesbos. I'd go. Isle of Big Nuns. Isle of Big Nuns? Oh my gosh, I think we'd all die. We would all die. There's no survivors anyway, so Big Nung at the end of this looks super pained and it's like it's like she's looking at Chet like a stranger.

Like this is somebody she kind of trusted as a confidant in a way. Like she felt comfortable enough with him as a human being to like agree to marry him for the grand man's sake. Like meaning he's not super threatening because I don't think she ever put on with that shit, no matter what the grand man wanted. Also, the grandma vetted him and she vetted Kirk. So like, I mean, he's probably sort of fine or whatever, but she's like, wow, it's like I'm looking at a stranger, you know

what I mean? Somebody I've known my whole life and like, here's it's like in America, finding out who voted for who in the election, you're like, wow, you're a complete stranger to me. I can't believe you would do this. It's like that, you know, it's insane. It's. Terrifying. You're like, wow. It's sad that we're talking about this right now and we're able to relate to it so much because of one day. Yeah, it's. Anyway, before we get too much

into that. We. Won't but big Nung looking so pained. Like again, there is so much coming at Big Nung right now, like every single insecurity like you said, but it shows so much growth from her that she did not just immediately react with her flight response. Like she stood up for herself. I mean like it's that and it's also her own damn palace. So get out, Chet. Such a bitch. It's like how do you not respect someone? Like not even in their own house in their own freaking palace.

But luckily she does yell at him to get out so good job. But like I don't think he knows. If only Chet knew, but the mother of his child was also in love with things, and I just. I want them all to talk about it. I want it so bad. Well, this one. Can you write something? Even if it's just for us? I want to know how it would go down. Anyway, he's. So funny. Yeah, no, all, all good points. And we still want the missing scene that we never got. So yeah, she, she tells Chet to

get out. And of course, she has to say it multiple times before he actually leaves because he never listens. But before he does, Chet warns her to leave while alone. And once he's out of sight, Big Nun collapses onto the couch and the camera lings on her for a while as she's trying to just catch her breath. And they're using a handheld Cam here. It's like it's shaky. It's not like perfectly still because Big Nong is super off kilter and spiraling.

And that's how she feels. She's unsettled. She's feels like she lost control, like this is not good and she's not in a good place right now. This took a lot out of her to stand and fight like you said, something she's her instincts tell her not to do and she's only good at doing when the fight person, Little Hong is with her to make her stronger and braver. So this scene is really like the ML sipicorn's fall from grace.

Like she knew she lost this battle with Little Hong's family and she feels like her world is crumbling all around her. And kudos to the camera work to show us that. Continuing on with like camera and shots, like it took everything in Big Nung to be able to stand her ground because I mean, it's like yes, she does have that. This is her place. So like it is her turf.

But both of the shots after Chet leaves and we just see Big Nung, it's a higher camera angle and it really shows how small and vulnerable Big Nung is feeling right now 'cause like the shot also makes Big Nun look physically small and isolated in this room because she's not like she's not taking up most of the scene. It's like this huge window, like half the room is kind of empty and it's just like these two

chairs. So with this, it's meant to represent the like the palace as a whole, the room, the big room, like the palace is huge. And she is now alone in this palace. And it's quite interesting that the conversation which took place here because this palace, as we've been saying, is a symbol of repression for her and feeling suffocated and not allowing allowed to be her true self when the grand man was alive. And it's all things that she is feeling right now because of

this conversation. So now she again, she's being swallowed by this palace and it's so much and I just wanna hug her like this. Poor girl. Poor woman, we should say. Don't say girl. Chet will take that the wrong way. Yeah, yeah. I mean, he wouldn't listen to it in. No, you're right. He would listen. You're right. He should be like. Facts. Oh no. Maybe I can still get her to marry me. Oh. My God. But no, your read on that is so

true. Because, yeah, like the the the other commonality that these two had is like isolation and that loneliness where they kind of felt incomplete in a way. And I think like, again, like it's the realization that like, oh, I just, I lost this relationship is doomed. I'm going to be alone. I will lose her. So yeah, it's that feeling of being just swallowed up by everything and like hopelessness and yeah, good job camera work and the scene well done. And the lighting was.

Honestly beautiful because there's so many windows in that room. Like they did a good job of like dealing with this. Very, very hard to get a window that does not, it's not completely white. Like I don't know if they like double exposure with like layered shots like it's they, they did a great job. The show's shot very, very well for us not to see spotlights everywhere. And like, they definitely do a lot of artistry with the camera work and like, impactful stuff.

And there's even more in this episode that we'll get into. It's they they've put a lot of attention into this show. Yeah. I mean, they, again, a lot of shows have this, which is why this this podcast is needed because no one, you don't always see this, especially if you don't know what. To look for right? Exactly, yes. OK, but before we continue, we interrupt this video to bring you a few very sad outs.

So we have so many lovely Chaos Crew members over on Patreon who support us and we love you all so much. OK. So we want, well, first of all. Starting with the. Chaos Crew members on the Big Gay dedicated supporter tier and above. We're gonna start with them. Let's shout you all out. Jay, Dana, Natalia, Miranda, Regina, and Monet. Thank you so much for all your support. We hope you love the random stuff that you get on these tiers. Let us know what you want.

And now we also want to highlight some select Big Gay supporter members. So today we're shouting out Pooja, Oxidorian and Alex and then a couple more. I want to give a correction because I was really upset with myself because I worked really hard on this pronunciation. Instead of Kai, it's K, so sorry, K. And you get an extra 1. We love you. We love you. We love you.

No, yes, especially like we, we see every single one of you who like comment, we see you and we really love that there really is a community over on Patreon. It's very sweet to see like I just like to see you guys even respond to each other. It's adorable. It's very cute, Yes, thank you for like engaging with the media. That's literally the point of this. And then we get your perspectives on stuff, which we appreciate. And helps with the discussions

as well. It does which we will always give you credit. We always give the people credit when we learn something from them. Last shout out, I want to give a shout out to Zoe for helping us figure out how to do the logistics for our live interview with Juana Sorne yesterday. OK, for us, this is in the past. We haven't done it yet, so I'm hoping it went fully well, but

if not, I'm sorry. But Zoe, Zoe's one of our lovely volunteers who helps us out and is helping us figure out a way to interact with everyone, not just Patreon members better including possibly live streaming if people are

interested. And if anyone listening may be interested in volunteering and helping us out in any way with the podcast, you can connect with us on social media or go to biggateenergypod.com and send us a message telling us about yourself and what you may be interested in doing 'cause we're always looking for help, 'cause we we like to do a lot, but it's, it's so much work. So if there's something that you can do and want to do, just let us know. Yeah, we would greatly appreciate it.

And so, yeah, thanks again, Zoe. Zoe hasn't been on camera with us for a while. If you don't know who Zoe is, Zoe did our Our Flag Means Death coverage. Zoe's very knowledgeable about like, historical stuff. And so if you're into that show, you can see who Zoe is. Zoe's awesome. And yeah, let us know. The more the merrier. And this podcast is a lot of work and we do our very best. And so people out there be like,

what are you gonna cover this? We're two people who we film these giant episodes, then edit everything, right? Yeah. It just takes a lot of work. So no, it's a full time job. We have two full time jobs at this point. Yeah, we're exhausted, but we love bringing you all this content and we hope people are enjoying it. We know that there are. We have a good group of people who tell us every week and let us know their thoughts and it means the world.

To us it is thank you, lovely blankets out there, you. You're a lovely fan of those interacting with us. We Yes, yes, yes. Thank you. I appreciate. You. Yeah. It's probably the best fandom we've ever been a part of ever interacting with from the podcast. So, like, thank all of you. You've been Yeah, lovely. Be proud of yourself. You guys are great. We've been traumatized by other fandoms, yes. With that said, thank you for listening to these not so brief messages anymore.

But let's continue on with this sad. Emotionally tolling episode. Yeah, we got to like, break up the pain as best we can. All right, so after the Chet scene, we then cut over to big nun at the art gallery, and she's super sad and super distracted. And it was at this point that I realized she's wearing the curse white button down, which explains why she's having the worst day ever. Anytime that shirt shows up,

only doom will come. You just anyone's wearing a button white button down now take it out take your shirt diet. For your own safety, unless it's your part of your work uniform and you're stuck with it, I'm sorry. Then put a jacket on over put a jacket. Yeah, put a pin on something to make it different anyway. OK, so. Anyway, this is a pride pin. I mean, there you go. All right, So big Nung is like AM sitting at the table. She's got a blank canvas and just like, space it out.

And I get the impression that she's been sitting here for a while because like, none of her or her, neither the sketchbook nor the canvas has any bit of art on it. So I'm pretty sure she's trying to like, I got to get on with my life and work. And like, she's so distraught she can't, that's how out of it she is. Like she can't even do art right now.

And then she starts like rubbing her temples, kind of like she's starting to get a headache because like, again, she's an she's an internal person who thinks and thinks and thinks and thinks. And it's, I think just the point where she's like getting a headache from all the spiraling in her brain. So does a pain reliever come to save her? No Ping Fish shows up. Yeah, and if she didn't have a headache or Eddie, she definitely does now. Oh yeah, she's about to get into

a migraine. We're going to migraine territory when paying for approaches. Big Numb doesn't get up. She just looks like a wounded animal that's just struggling to like go about the day or pretend like things are normal or just get back into her routine. She just looks so hurt. Yeah, and as Pingfa enters, we get levels and this power dynamic through the way the

scene is shot. Again, like I said, again, very artistically shot the the first time we see them in the same frame in the scene, Big Nong is smaller at the table, like very small in the shot, and Pingfa is visibly larger to the point that her head is cut off in the shot from the fame. Like Pingfa holds the power here and Big Nong knows it. And it also makes Ping fussy, more intimidating because we don't see her face at all. It is just her back.

And like she comes in like that. So you're like, it's like turning her back to the audience. Like I know I have the power. I don't need to give like you the respect even though like we're the audience. But it's just making her more ominous, like towering over Big Numb. And then big Nun tells her to sit. And this puts them on a more even playing field and on the same level on the screen so she can kind of take back a little power.

Because when someone's standing above you, you're gonna feel smaller. Yeah. Yeah, no, well done. And and again, think about like again, the scene we just came out of was the father was literally attacking Big Nog. Now the mom's here and so big Nog like again, wounded animal already is licking the battle wounds from the last interaction. And so she's like already at a disadvantage and already feels

like she's gonna lose. So the fact that Pingva, even Chet would never she'd be like sit down. He wouldn't do that. He would just attack her from above. But Pingva gives her the respect to sit down. So it tells you like, where Pingva's head's at, too, which is also important because, yeah, she could be seen as a threat immediately. And then it's like, OK. I still feel like Pink was probably in love with Big Nums subconsciously.

There's a little part of her that's always going to love Big Numb because it's Big Numb. How do you not OK? You can't get over her. It's, it's always going to be there because I'm thinking in my head that this was her first love as well. You don't always end up with your first love, but like it makes a big impact on you. That is true. That's what I've gotten from media. Honestly, that's a good point. So. That's real. She's always going to care about this and it was also her best

friend, right? So this big nun means so much to her that this is painful for her because her daughter means the world to her. She didn't get the opportunity to know her. She wants to know her. And her best friend she was taken away from too because it wasn't her choice to leave her best friend and the love of her life at that time. So she everything was taken from her. So she it's very much AI catch 22 I think. That yeah, where like a great novel I want to read. That.

It's such a. Good. Book I need to reread it. Honestly, I'll. Put it on the list. Side note that has nothing to do anything but I had a version of it I don't think I have any more. I had a version of catch. Oh, no, yeah, I do have it. OK, Nevermind. I had AI think it was actually nevermind 1984. I loaned it to somebody. And like I am a I'm a margin writer. So like when I read books, I write little notes, which you know, because you've seen my

books. Yeah, I like borrowing the orders of books because I get to know more. And then like, I did a book exchange with a friend many years ago. I never got the book back and I was really sad. But I still have my catch 22. It's a great book. Anyway, that's not relevant right now. My version of my thoughts. Let's get back into the scene. So yeah, all your points are super valid that this is very, so very complicated for Ping Pho more so than anybody else dealing with this.

Like truly, she's more entwined in all of this than anybody else. Like yes, she's big numb as Chet's ex fiance, but like they were not emotionally connected to each other at all. So like it's more like I lost the thing I was going to control versus like Ping Pho's like she loved big Nung on many levels. Like even like a best friend is also a very like platonic love is also very powerful. So they're like be betrayed by her daughter, her best like, you

know what I mean? Like Ping Pho like got the most L's basically out of anybody in this with when the relationship came to light. You know what I mean? Like she lost the most. So the fact that she's the most civil is actually huge and speaks to her character as a person that she's a pretty strong person because she's also been through hell like her daughter, like because, you know, she made the crime and the grandmother punished her and then Lilong paid for the crime generationally.

And she's a very strong person because of it. Like, so to come here and sit and sit down and have a civil conversation with Big non, she's the stronger person out of anybody that's in this web of whatever the clusterfuck that this is. And the difference between Ping Pho and Chet, like besides like, you know, one was actually in love with her. Ping Pho's was like even though they weren't together that relationship was more symbiotic because they were like best friends where Chet was always

parasitic. Yes. Like Big Nun was getting nothing out of that except for the fact that she was doing what her the grand man wanted and she didn't even want to do that. Obviously she ran away from him, which good for her. I agree with everything you're saying. Yeah, that's a that's a really good way to put it. All right, so let's get into this conversation. Otherwise, we'll be here for 500 hours. So big Nong tries for niceties at first or but Ping Pho is like, I know you don't like

small talk. I don't have time for this. Let's cut really to the chase here. So she's like, listen, Big Nong, I'm here to ask for your understanding and what a way to start this conversation. So off screen, Pingfa entered the acceptance stage of grief and knows that Big Nung was telling the truth the last time they spoke. Because we ended with denial being like, wow, Big Nung, why are you lying to hurt me about

this relationship? And then she's like, OK, this is she probably saw the photos and was like, OK, this show's real. Never mind, never mind. I get it all. That's the way I look at her. Yeah, she's. Like, I get it at her. Yeah, she even got a kiss. Like that's real. Like. Damn, that should be in me. All right, so. But even though she accepts the truth, Pingfa starts this conversation with kind of an aggressive tone.

Like her words are like she speaks very loudly and her words are clipped, like she's disappointed in big nut. And I kind of went over everything, like best friend, like you said, the unresolved feelings. She's always somebody who's always held Big Nung in high

esteem. And because of that, I think it was easy for Ping Pho to entrust Big Nung with Little Nung when this kind of the guardianship thing all kind of started, Especially because from Ping Pho's point of view, Big Nung was the only person who actually listened to her. Like, let let us recall 105, the dinner where Big Nung invited herself so she could speak on Little Nung's behalf. What happened in that conversation when Big Nung was

like, let Little Nung speak? And Little 1 was like, I don't want to go to America. And Ping Pho is like, no, like, that's what I want. Her mother, the grandmother is like, fuck you, Ping Pho. You don't get to have a say here. And then she like, treated her like a child immediately. It was like infantilized her immediately. And so how did the conversation go down? Big nun was like, OK, Ping Pho, what are you actually worried about? School is something you're worried about?

How about I help with that? Like, she was the one who, like, took Ping Pho's concerns seriously and was like, hey, how about we compromise here so that your concerns are addressed? And then the little one gets what she wants. She's the only one that looked at her and treated her like a person. And so Pingfa made this deal where she's like, OK, my daughter can stay in Thailand if you're looking out for her because she trusted Big Nung.

And the trust between Pingfa and Big Nung is much longer and much deeper than anybody else's trust in Big Nung. And so like and, and remember like the whole the abortion thing and all that stuff, like she's had moments of like feeling betrayed by Big Nung in certain ways or like not trusting her fully, but like. That was the main point where Big Nung didn't listen to her, but it was very far and few between like she usually like definitely.

Well, what we've seen, she does take account of Pingfa's feelings, but that was like the one betrayal like you said. Like, well, like. Not betrayal, but she wasn't listening to her, that she was looking out for her in her best interests. Right. But she wasn't listening to Pingfa's concerns at the time. What about that? She's like, think about yourself. Because big Big Nun does care about Pingfa like she does like there is, they're, they're

entangled. There is a lot of love, like a platonic love with them whether Big Nun knows it or not because she doesn't know what she didn't know what feelings were at the time. OK, so if all the people involved here, I think Pingfa feels this sting of betrayal from Big Numg to the deepest, Chet is the loudest about it, but he doesn't really know Big Numg the way Pingfa does. And Pink because you know, Pingfa was her closest friend

for years. They have more of an intimate relationship at the end of the day. And I think the opposite is true as well. So when Pingfa delivers the wine, because I thought you would know better than anyone else about what's right and wrong, Big Numg winces and breaks her eye.

Contact from Pingfa like this hurts her too, because think about it, in the prior scene with Chet, she stood her ground with Chet when she was and when he challenged the relationship and she challenged him right back, looked him dead in the eye, kept her head up high. But when Ping Pho, she seems more wounded and like recepted to these criticisms. And I think she takes her opinion more seriously than Chet's bullshit. So it hurts big numg deeper than anybody else's accusations really.

And so it kind of goes back and forth between the two of them. The sting is deeper for both of them. But then Pingfa surprises Big Nung by asking, is it true love or is this because you feel guilty about like the almost abortion, This shit, this shit happened between us because remember, Chet came out there and be like, This is why you don't love me. Like he made it about him immediately. And Pingfa's kind of making it about her in a way and being like Big Nung.

What is this really about? Is this about Little Nung or is this about our bullshit? That's what she's asking her. Like tell me what this is because like, it could be either or, right? You know what I mean? Like because she knew Big Nung felt guilty about like the past. And she's like, are you doing all of this because of the past or is this genuine? Like tell me And that. And when she's asked this question, that's when Big Nung

stands, OK? Because before she was cowering, she stands up and challenges pink pho because if you notice, But if you notice, it's different, OK? She's not standing at her full height like she was with Chet. She's still like hunch. Like her shoulders are hunched so she is smaller. Like she's caving from the pressure and pain of having these battles, but she's doing her best to fight through it and be honest and all of that stuff. And it shows that she's beginning to take back this

power and this situation. Like it's been very gradual and she's not fully there yet because, again, she respects Ping Feh and a lot of people in her life she didn't respect because they were always using her, basically. So this is. Yeah. It's just, it's very interesting, their relationship. I would love to have seen a future of them. Yeah. Just in the future. Like what? What is the dynamic like? Because it was so nice that we got to see Spoiler.

You all have seen it. But the end with the flash forward. I'm really curious what the family was like in the future though. Like, I know we did get it a little bit, but I meant like the future future. So when BIG9 stands up, she asks Pingfa, do you think I'm an unreliable person? Because let us recall, like Big Nine's point of view, she's like, I told you last time, I love her. We have a normal relationship, just like two people in love.

That's it. And now you're sitting here telling me, is it love or are you doing this because you feel guilty? But to be fair, from Pingfa's point of view, this is this is a valid question because Big Nung did feel super guilty about this. And like that was like the one O 4 birthday experience. Like between Pingfa and Big Nung, we saw her throughout the course of the show beat herself up about this decision she made as a child to encourage Pingfa to end the pregnancy so many

times. And Pingfa knew that too, right? But Big Nung is a different person now. She understands what her feelings are and like. Has come to terms with everything and she's like I'm not going to let you invalidate how I feel which is huge big character growth moment so but to be fair like OK from ping pho's point of view like big fun yes knows her feelings now but the ping pho that but remember ping pho's been removed from all of this physically and like I. Feel really bad for Ping pho

because of that. Like she's had to leave her entire life and like these countries are different and in the way of thinking. So she has now been in a whole different community and way of life. So to come back, she's a stranger in a place that she was her home, yes. And because of that, she's technically estranged to big Numg. And so when she comes in here asking big Numg questions, the big NUMG she knows is 16 year old big NUMG.

That's her frame of reference. In the same way that like when she thinks of her daughter, she thinks of the baby she gave up, not the 21 year old that actually exists right now. And so when ping for the ping for the and she knows that big Numg super, super well. And so it's hard for Pinkfa to initially come to terms with the fact that big nuns change. She's not the same person that she knew.

So I that's why I think it takes her longer to process kind of this, because the whole situation is different. Everybody's different, everybody's changed. She's changed too, right? So big nuns offended that she's like, wow, you don't believe me when I tell you things. I mean, to be fair, you were hiding a relationship with her daughter. So like, there's that, there's that big nun, there's that. It's a pretty big deal.

It's a pretty big. Deal so but to be fair to pig Pho, pig pho does accept what big Nung says and then admits that what she said about about it. Wait, what does this say? And then admits that what she is about to say next makes her uncomfortable. But she needs to say this to big Nung. She's like, listen, I just need you to be understanding. I'm sorry about what I'm going to say, but like I'm the mom here coming to talk to you, you the boyfriend basically.

And the camera then lingers on Big Nung for a bit. And Big Nung, like, swallows real hard, like she's bracing herself for the death blow. OK, when it comes to the relationship. And Pinkva says, I am not here to separate you from my daughter, OK? I'm not the bad guy here, basically. But I do want you to return my daughter to her family.

Can you do that? Because what she's really asking Big Nun And the bigger, larger concern coming from the family members is that little like big nun coerced little Nung basically into like away from her family essentially. And like, so they're the outsiders. So lung lung doesn't tell them thing we've got into this. I will not get into this, but that's kind of the mindset. So big Nung, she's asking big Nung, can you relinquish the quote control you have over my daughter?

Because we've seen this play out a lot in the show where they're like, you're the only one she listens to. You're the only one she loves above her own family. It's. Amazing. What respect? Does. Yes. And so for Ping Fu to come and ask relinquish control over my daughter seems absurd to us because we know Big Nung is not controlling Little Nung deliberately. Like you said, it's a respect

thing that's happening. And the consequence of that is that Little Nung's love for Big Nung is influencing her behavior. And that is why I think Ping Fu's worried about what that's what she's really worried about because she has experience with this. And I think the entire family at the end of the day, is super jealous that Little Nung loves Big Nung more than them. But none of them, none of them except maybe Pingfa, take a

second to think. Why does Little Nung love Big Nung so much, even though Big Nung has told them flat out treat her like a person, She wants acceptance. That's how you get her to love you. It's really easy actually. And then for Chet, listen to her. I actually, no everybody listen to her as well. That's treating someone like a person. But here's the deal. It's a lot easier to absolve yourself of the role you played in all of this coming from the family.

They're absolving themselves of their role in this by blaming Big Nun because it's easier to just say, well, Little Nung only started acting like this when Big Nung showed up and not see the writing on the wall that Little Nung was lying to her grandmother the whole fucking time because the grandmother was abusing her and like oppressing her. And so she just learned a lie. This started before Big Nung

entered the scene. It just got exacerbated and became noticeable to them when Big Nung entered the scene. So they're just like putting the math together and like, this is her fault. She's controlling her, she's making her like an ungrateful granddaughter, blah, blah, blah.

Like it's easier to blame Big Nung than to be like, no, you played a big role in Little Nung's behavior and Big and Little Nung clung the Big Nung so much because you were denying her all the things that she wanted and Big Nung gave it to her. OK, So with that aside, Pingfa's here to be like, I'm not. I'm not really trying to separate you, OK? I want her to come back to the family and I want her to live with me in America for two to three years. And we've already gone over YA

million times. And poor Bignung's heart is like visibly breaking on Pingfa says this. And Pingfa says let time prove whether or not she will like still be in love with you. Basically, if this love is true and real love, then the time abroad with me, which is short in the grand scheme of things, shouldn't matter. Like, give me that. Give me time with my daughter. Let the family cool down, relinquish your power over her and like let time prove whether or not this is real.

And honestly, this is a really reasonable request like to be on. And Big Nog knows that it's reasonable. And she also knows that like studying abroad, getting a different perspective, living in another country temporarily can be a good thing for Little Nog. Like, she would get to experience the world, get that life wisdom, and she would be better for it. She'd be better set up for success in just in general. But she's terrified of losing little Nung.

And with this scenario, that becomes a very real possibility, right? So like relinquishing her control could come at the cost of losing Big Nung, which is what the family's banking on. This whole situation just kind of sucks because again, we can see it from Pingfa's point of view and like, well, not chats and that, but like Pingfa wants her daughter. We know that. And I get where it's coming from.

And you said like that it's not that long in the grand scheme of things, but too little Nung. It is long because she's 22 right now. I did the math because of course I did. And it's going to be 12% of her life if she's there for three years, which it doesn't sound like a lot, but when you're that young and like being ripped away from the person that you love, that's a lifetime because who knows what's going to happen in that time. And I just, I feel like they could have started.

With. 6 to 12 months rather than jumping to two to three years. Like start smaller so she doesn't feel like her whole life's being ripped away from her. Like treat it as like study abroad instead of finish abroad. Yeah, I don't know what the study abroad things are like,

but but here's the deal though. Like you're in the modern world, like you guys could FaceTime constantly and like text each other and like there is, it's not like a death sentence where you're like, I will write you letters every, you know what I mean? Letters are coming to them. I know they need to watch the loyal pin and see how much perspective those two put in to each other and this relationship

over what, 7 years? OK, I think the better situation would have been, again, to talk all together and little known with little known calmly. OK, don't just tell her about potential possibilities to allow little known to discover the world and achieve all the things like spend time with her mom, figure out what she wants, but like, work with her rather than telling her because now she's going to be defensive right away. Oh yeah.

But like I say, I I think your points are valid like again from Lo and Long's perspective, but like that's the problem. And I do think this is very reasonable what Pingf is asking because like, sure, again, which what's Big Nung's fear? You say this now, but people change over time. We've watched Big Nung change the whole show. People change. She's like, you could fall out of love with me and regret choosing me when you were young

and didn't know any better. But if you knew and you experienced stuff and go, oh, I definitely don't want this. I did want that. I think Big Nung would like, you know, feel better about that because then to like hear later that little 1 was like, I resent you because of all like, you know what I mean? Like if that's a very real possibility that little one can't see because she's young and naive. Yeah. So like, she doesn't know what's out there and like it's easy to

see both. Sides to that and here's this is also coming from Pingfa who's like I did go live abroad I was given different advantages in life because I did that it did open my eyes I did see a new perspective and I think that's important and I want my daughter to have to do that again not unreasonable like yeah her she had no choice in the matter but she's like it was ultimately a good thing and it's not something I chose and not something I knew I needed at 16

but it changed my whole life and her life is way better now because this thing happened to her so like it worked out for ping pho so I she's also coming at it from that angle or is everybody else's mostly like a scandal like get her away from being nung but she's like you don't know what it's like you don't know what you don't know is the thing and so like young people don't know what they don't know because how can they your your world is small you only see you know what I mean

like. Yeah, that's it's true, 'cause like Big Nung even had that experience by leaving her family. Right, right. So like, yeah, anyway, but that's we're. Just, I still think that two to three years is a long time because like I think back two or three years, it's you. We as humans change every day. That's why I think like, just take it six months at a time. Maybe they can't do that with the school. And it's like. Go get your math because like, OK, transferring credits is a

huge pain in the ass. Like I had to do that when I changed schools and I lost credit. So like, it would be a waste for a little long to have to keep doing that. You know what I mean? Like they're like, go finish your graduate study. That's what that's where she's at now in school. And they're like, finish your school here, get the degree, then you can do whatever you want. That's not unreasonable. And like there are breaks as

long. You know, like as Big Nung is allowed to this cause like in my head I'm thinking like she has to be like no contact with Big Nung throughout this whole time. Well, OK, this is the, this is the same misunderstanding that's happening. They are not saying no contact. They're saying physically stay away from her, let her make up her own mind, let her experience stuff. We're not saying no contact. That's not what's being said in these very deliberately. It's not being said here at this

stage. So OK anyway, but truly two to three years is really nothing. I say that as somebody in their 30s who elected to do residency training for two years, and those two years feel like five years each one of one of them because they're insane and they're very hard. But that was nothing. It's nothing. It's temporary. Once it's over, it's over. And you get to live your life like it's really temporary. Like you don't even know what's happening.

And if you're in school, like really doing school, you don't have time for anything else anyway. Like it's temporary. You can get through it. It's it's really no. School flew by like it's been 9 years since I started college. Like it's insane how it's nothing years past. Right, it's nothing. Big Nun would be the one that suffers the most because she's not. School time is passing at a snail's pace for her. It would be harder for her than it would be for Little Nung, honestly.

And I'm just picturing little Nung going to draw and like not even like looking. And then all of a sudden it like heard the painting is big little Nung and like she just has like 100 little nuns in the studio because like that's all she's subconsciously painting. Oh that would get worse. Anyway, let's get on with the scene. OK so Pingfa asks if Big Nun can do this, Like can you let her come live with me? And classically Big Nung answers this by not answering this and instead takes 2.

It takes a healthy 2 seconds to process a Pingfa just said before asking. Pingfa, do you want your daughter to come live with you because these two women are taking the time to actually communicate with each other and ask what is your motivation for asking me this? Right? Because Bigfoot comes in and she's like, what is your motivation for the relationship?

Is it because you actually love my daughter or because like you feel guilty and you're trying to like make up for the past or redeem yourself or whatever the hell. And then here comes Bigfoot being like, I'm going to take my daughter to America because I think that's best for her. And Bigfoot is asking, are you doing this because you want to be with her? Are you doing that? Like, again, are you doing this to really just separate us?

I'm just trying to make sure. And because the motivation matters to Big Nung, it always has, because she wants Lilong to be loved for the right reasons. And of all the family members, I think she sees that Pingfa is the most likely to listen to Big Little Nung, treat her like a person and all the stuff that she deserves. So Pingfa stands very firmly in her answer when she says yes, which is both a relief and also

painful for Big Nung to hear. Because she's also the only one who's actually wanted little Nung from the beginning. Yeah, that and Big Nung is like, if this is genuine, then she's gonna agree to it. So she's like, I am gonna lose. Like this is really gonna happen. Basically, she's not gonna fight Ping Pho on this. Then Ping Pho transitions into mom mode and says I'm shocked that my daughter is dating my friend. But are you? It's big none.

You should be proud of your daughter for getting also. Great, use the word friend. There could be many different titles in the place of that, but anyway. And then she says to Big Nung that she's sorry that everything turned out this way because she loves her daughter. And she's like, I'm not going to sit by when my daughter potentially makes a huge mistake. Because again, like I've said, little one is young.

And if she is making this mistake right now, she can't see it because she's young and doesn't she doesn't know what she doesn't know. And it's very painful to watch Big Nung during the scene because ow, she just called Big Nung a mistake, basically. And the only mistake in the series is Chad and Pingfa. Yeah, mistake. And Pingfa made that mistake. And that's how we got the show. But I understand. I understand what Pingfa saying because she wants what's best for her daughter.

And like, I get it. She's, she understands how a relationship can ruin your whole life potentially. And you like again, Pink forgot with Chet back then she didn't know that was going to change her entire life. Like she didn't know that that was a mistake until it happened. And then she's like oh fuck. Like I'm sure if she could turn back time she'd stay away from Chet, you know what I mean? That ruined her, changed her entire life, you know what I

mean? Anyway, Big Numb swallows this tough information pill down and asks, what if one day Little Nong wants to date a girl? Which is her asking, are you going to accept her for the queer woman that she is? And Pigfa's acceptance journey off screen apparently also included accepting her daughter's queerness, which is a big victory for Lilong in the grand scheme of things. And I think that acceptance does make big non happy on some level because like, she's been fighting for this.

She's been the biggest ally, advocate for a little long squeerness. OK so when I do notes I apparently I like to forget that Pingfa does have good intentions. But I do feel like this is like the least Pingfa can do is just accept her daughter, especially without being a hypocrite considering she loved the same woman. And like again, I know I'll keep this fan fiction section really quick.

I just really want to see where Big Nung just shouts at Ping Pho in like front of the whole family that she admitted she loved her once and like reminds her of that. Like why can't she let Little Nung do the same? Which we do see, like she she could, but she wants to make sure that Little Nung knows it. I mean, like that would also be outing someone if big Nung were to do that. But like how would that scene play out if like everyone found out in like an argument randomly?

I just, there's so many endless possibilities for everybody finding out everything and it's just, I'd love to see it, like think about it. What we're saying is we needed more scenes of Pingfa, actually. Yeah, no, we do need more Pingfa, which I don't think we said during the reaction. I think we were just one of the parents out. Like it's again, This is why you have to really think about it.

And like we've done this to other shows too, you have to think about the characters afterwards, because it's never. Surface level there's. So much more going on to them. No, I wanted. Well, that's because Pink Foot is a plot device. Every time paying for shows a bad show. Yeah, there was. So then you start. Like associating paying for with doom. But really, like, if we had more scenes with her, like not being the harbinger of death, like, and we got to know Ping, like, that'd be great.

Like 'cause there's a lot of history here. So nice to see Pingfa, Big Nung and Little Nung just together without. Chet is the. Issue Chet's The Doom. Chet's the issue? And I think that's true. And we were, I don't know if gaslight is the right word, but gaslight into thinking that Pingfa was the doom. No, it's Chet because Chet doesn't take any responsibility or listen to people. Nope. Yep, he's the worst. OK, he's the worst. OK, so all right, so I think big

win for Little nun. We got one family members that like, she could be queer, whatever. But then big nun comes to the very sad realization that Lil Nun can date anyone but her, regardless of gender, is what Ping Phi actually says in this conversation. And she's like, well, it can't be her ex, her father's ex fiance, OK. And she's like, you're also like my best friend. And my mother saw you as a role model. So like, basically you betrayed everybody in the family essentially.

And this leads me to believe that, like, Chet really played a heavy hand in orchestrating all of this because she said, why would she bring up Chet's shame? Like, really? He abandoned her like he abandoned pink foe. Like it would have been more compelling to Big Nung if Pingfa said I'm worried you'll break her heart like you broke mine because that is something Big Nung would take to heart. Also she already broke his heart and is scared to do that again.

Let us never forget the end of one O 6. Yes. No, never. Forget that that is trauma. That's gonna follow the both of them to the end of their lives like that is. Big nung. Character. Despicable. Changing anyway, but it just also shows that the family really doesn't understand that these two love each other. Like they're always going to see until little Nung is separated from her that it's a mistake.

Because yeah, if she would have made it about little Nung and how big Nung could ruin her life, it would make a bigger impact. But they don't know that this love is real enough to be like, you're going to ruin her life by doing. Yeah, it's just. No, that's a really good point. Like their arguments are surface level because they don't know the relationship. This again? You don't know what you don't know. That's more this whole show. You don't know what you don't know.

Didn't know that little Nung was your. That no, we don't have time for that. Yep. OK. All right, so Ping Pho reduces Big Nung to surface level stuff. She's an ex fiance, a best friend, and a role model. That's it. That's what you are, Nung. And I don't think that Ping Pho realizes that in this moment when she's saying all the stuff, she's treating Big Nung the same way everybody treats Little Nung. So you're to your point, Caitlin, or she's reducing her

to surface level stuff. Ping Pho's dehumanizing Big Nung in this conversation by reducing her to these labels like she's like I only you were you were just titles, you were just descriptions and she's not taking into account. Why does Big Nung love her daughter to exactly your point,

Caitlyn? And in this this part of the scene, you can see Big Nung visibly like retract in and it cuts immediately to Ping Pho and there's this slight smile on her face and she notices that she got to Big Nun and it seems like she's pleased with herself here. Yeah, because, I mean, she's a scorned woman, too. I think this. Yeah. No, like, yeah, that's what this is. This is like, Oh yeah, I can finally again hurt you like you hurt me. Which is it? It's a human thing to do.

I get it. Pink Pho. If Big Nun broke your heart, you'd never get over that. I I get it, but The thing is, the dehumanizing of Big Nung is not the worst part of the conversation for Big Nung, the absolute worst part, the death blow is when Pingfa says you are not worthy of her, you don't deserve her. It gives a new meaning to the earlier scene with Little Nung and Big Nung in the gallery when she said the Little Nung, you must date your equal. Because Pingfa doesn't see Big

Nung as Little Nung's equal. She sees Big Nung as beneath her daughter, somebody that doesn't deserve her. Unworthy. And being worthy has been a huge thing in this show because it's been obvious from Little Nung from the very beginning. I will be worthy of you. I'll prove myself. But really, Big Nung had to prove that she's worthy of Little Nung's on dying love for her because she doesn't feel like a person who is worthy of that kind of love, OK. And it takes her.

We've seen her on screen struggle with like accepting all this love from big little Nun. And so to hear that from somebody she respects and that hurts like that really hurts. And after ping for leaves, Big Nun collapses on the table and she just looks like she's receding into herself, which is her like protect yourself state, right? All the emotion is draining from her face, like she's internalizing all of this, which is her past behavior.

That's the big Nung we started with, before little Nung started having her impact. So she's regressing and the tears started hovering, but she doesn't let him fall. Some fight left at her. Phi. Let's just talk about Phi for a second. She does an excellent job of making the audience feel like you feel Big Nung's emotions just by looking at her face.

And I don't. Know if it's my own mental health or what, but it definitely feels like Big Nung is on the verge of a panic attack because like, there's so much coming at her all at once. Multiple people she cannot escape, all of her insecurities being thrown at her. That is a lot. It's so much, It's so much. And like you see her being worn down just by these two conversations with these two people, how she's and she

doesn't fully recover. Like after the first battle with Chech, she doesn't fully recover from it. She's internalizing everything and spiraling. And then here comes Pingfa, who's like, listen, I'm not going to attack you, but I'm letting you know I'm gonna take my daughter away. And it's not because of you personally, but because that is what's best for her in this situation is to give you guys space and let her make her own choice. And if that's what she wants,

that's what she wants. But also, she can't date you the way she throws that in there. I'm like big girl. It's like, yeah, that was purely your younger self talking right now. Right, yeah, that's the healing her inner child who's still got the scar of Big Nong. You know, let's get to the the trifecta of horrible look then this whole episode, just horrible scenes. All right. Look at. So that's I know it is what it is. Then we cut over to the next day.

Maybe I don't know what is time where Big Nong and Little Wong's entire family are in the the in the grandmother's house. They're all gathered and Lilong emerges and looks confused because this is fucking confusing. No. Any time that she walks into a room and the entire family is there, it's never a good sign. No, no, just immediately run out of the room.

Little. Nung but I think she did it because she saw Big Nung and she's like, wait a minute, she's not gonna leave Big Nung with the wolves, right? So Big Nung is like, sit down. I will explain everything. And I must point out the way this is set up is that the family, Ping Pho, the grandmother Chet are all sitting on one couch and then Big Nung is sitting by herself on a separate couch. So it's showing us that Big Nung is alone and the family is the United front.

Or are they? Take it away, Campbell, we have so much to talk about. Are you ready for it? OK, for everyone listening, Fiora just did the camo biles thing. Yeah, some of OK. That's what we're used to right now anyway. OK, So immediately, Big Nung looks like she really just wants to have this conversation with Little Nung because really, that's that's what it should be like.

It's kind of like a separation. And it should not have to be in front of these people who do not want them to be together. But she is painfully aware that Little Nung's family is present. And so let's go through what everybody's body language says in this scene. And I may have watched this three or five very short second clip on half speed way too many times to do this. So let's get into it. You're. Welcome everyone. Let's start with Chet to get him out of the way.

Yes, let's, because he's the easiest here. He does not move. His legs are apart with his arms leaning on them like he is taking up a lot of space. All the space and his eyes. Spreading. Yes never leave big nod. He is definitely the mastermind behind all this, even though he's not very smart, but like, he's good. He's conniving. I believe that's the word. Like he's good at manipulating people. So that's where he does excel. So maybe he is smart in this aspect to only get what he

wants. He's not smart in life, but he's good at getting what he wants. And his plan is going perfectly. So he has no like, point to move. He's just like, yeah, I have the power here, so let me take up all the space. You know what he's like because remember, you know, like you said, this really a whole conversation should be a conversation between Lil Nung and Big Nung. But the reason the family's here is Chet's holding the gun to Big Nung being like, do it, do it.

That's what that's what his body language is. It's like he's like, do it like he's holding the figurative gun in the to big Nung to force her into doing this. That's kind of his body language. Also, all your points. Yeah, he's holding the gun, being like, do it, do it, do it. And that's it. The Chet. Because yeah, Chet's 11 track. He's one-dimensional. Moving on. Yeah, All right, so let's go to Ping Pho.

So Ping Pho quickly looks away from Big Numb when she looks to this couch of Doom. That's the nickname now. And her posture is slightly forward, so she's not like her back's not straight. She's slightly, her shoulders are slightly bent forward and her hands are on top of each other, but they're not clasped. So she's not like, she's just like very lifeless. Her hands are just lying there and she just looks like she's exhausted from there always

being problems in this family. Like she's probably so glad that she lives in the US because every time she like she brings some doom with her. But like it's exhausting having to enter this house, deal with her mother, deal a Chet like who wants to see him anyway? So there is a lot going on in her head. She really does want little Nun to come live with her. We've said that because she wants to be her mother, but I still don't.

OK, so she did hurt little Big Nung in the last scene, but I don't think she wants to hurt little Nung by taking her from the person that she loves. I agree. She just wish it wasn't big Nung because that's hers. Anyway, we already talked about her personal feelings and how it affects her from her past because of the past. So that's everything going on. It's like I don't want her with Big Numb. I don't want to hurt my daughter. I want my daughter.

That's all the stuff going on through Pink Fuzz Marie. Yeah, She, she reads us like guilty. She feels guilty about what's happening or what's about to happen. It was like, yeah. Yeah, it's guilt. Because it's no matter what happens right now, someone's going to lose. It's never going to benefit everybody. Yes. And it won't benefit anybody really. Yeah, people. People are gonna get hurt. Basically, yeah, yeah. Which happens anytime everybody's in this room together. Yes.

Which the couch? Would do. This happens every single time. The couch would do. Yeah, when the couch would do moves together. Perfect. So let's move to the grandmother. And I I did some a lot of. Reading into this grandmother because her positioning in the way that she acts here is kind of interesting. So her posture is very rigid and proper, shoulders back, perfect posture. Like she was probably like slapped on the wrist if she didn't sit up straight.

Yeah. Her hands are squeezed together and her arms and legs are tucked in as much as possible. She is taking up the least amount of room on this couch out of everybody. She tries to hold eye contact with Big Nung and it looks like she does like stay with eye contact like Chet does. But she does retreat a bit and starts to lose her rigid posture and she looks away from big Nung and it's very, very quick. So again, that's why I used to

watch it on .5 speed. It's very quick but she can't like she tries to keep eye contact with Big Nung but it does get to her. So right now she she is physically making herself smaller 'cause she could take up more room. Like the other two though and like the way she is sitting makes me think that this again is from growing up being told not to cause issues, conform to society and do what is expected of you. Which is what she is trying has tried to instill in Little Nun.

But that girl knows what she wants and has the drive to get it because you're she's a person. And I don't know if it's. I want to add one thing to that because that's a really good point. They don't know Little Nung and they really don't know how much she's willing to fight. And the other thing is Little Nung, unlike Pingfa, because remember, like the the grandmother tried to do this with Pingfa too, and she tried to like control her and instill all that stuff in her and then

it didn't work. She's like, goodbye, go to America, which is kind of what's playing out here. It's a similar scenario, but Lil Nung also has somebody who's older who supports her, so Little Nung feels more supported to fight back against them and they're not anticipating that when it comes to Little. Like Lil Nung isn't Pingfa, she's not in the same position that Pingfa was in.

And the grandmother, I don't think it takes that into account because she just sees her as a young Pingfa where things are going better because I controlled her more. But like the control that she exerted over Little Long for her entire life actually backfires, which is a big lesson of what happens when you try to control people because you can't and you

control them too tight. Eventually they rebel and take you down like and we're not taking that into account with Little Long. And then another thing is I don't know if this is just me I like and my forgetful brain, but the way season 2 shifts story wise makes it easier to forget about the grandmother and that she's an issue in general. We don't see her as much. And I attribute this to the parents being in the picture again. Like granted, Pinfa's not really in Thailand but she's still a

force here. And like Chet kind of takes the place because he's enough for the both of them. I again, I kind of wish Ping Pho was there more than Chet, but I agree, yeah. Wait a minute. I'm sorry. Could you imagine? I'm sorry we had to break up the sadness. Could you imagine the conversation that went down with UE when they were dating with Ping Pho instead of Chet? Remember the the the conversation where Sam was there and we forgot Sam was there and they're the you're dating my

daughter conversation? Imagine that was Ping Pho instead of Chet. You'd be. Like hell yeah, I think there'd be confusion. And then like I think she would pick up on the obvious flirting between big non and little non. And and she knows. Wait a minute. Yeah, exactly. Like that would have been amazing. The show would have been over so much faster if that was Ping Pho

who's like. Oh yeah, no, if Chad was still like, I mean, he's still the dead beat, but like the fact that Chuck came back now that she's an adult, it really pisses me off. Obviously we've we talked so much about it, but I really, I kind of want an alternate universe where Ping Pho is the one that was around. But again, she wasn't allowed to be because of the grandmother. I know, and this would be totally a good story. It's also what if ping pho raised little. Numb. I was just what?

Little Numb have found big numb. Right. It's because she was oppressed that is the reason she was seeking escapism and was at the market where she's found Big Nung. It's because of all of this that she found. So really, this is her family's fault that she found. Me out and like if Pingfa actually raised her and stayed in Thailand, would big Nung and Pingfa still be friends? Would they still live and would little Nung and big Nung still? And like, that would be a

messier situation. I kind of feel like there's so many possibilities. I know that's why fan fiction, I'm so glad it exists. I will go check what is. I'm curious. There's so many ample opportunities. Anyone, if you're listening, feel free to take it and run. I want to read it. I don't have time to write it again. Like we say this all the time, we want to read it. So take the ideas and run. Also, you can outline it in the comments so you can see your thoughts.

Well, yeah, just that. We can, yeah. Thoughts. How would that be? I. Just want. I want. I want more. That's basically what it is. Yeah. The story is so great that we want more. It's so good. OK, back to the grandmother. Thank you. So with the parents being back in the picture, it's causing an insecurity now for the grandmother. She is feeling like she's losing her child. So like she wrote Ping FA off as immediately as she sent her to the US, like disowned her, but

she's no longer a thought. Like now she's just a problem. Yes, that's a great way of putting that, yeah. Exactly, now that Chet and Ping FA are back, she has a smaller part of Little Nung's life and the screenshot depicts this because she is smaller in here. Like she she doesn't. Her parents are taking up more space because they're taking up more space in Little Nung's life like so Chet is taking over, he

has the most space. And then followed by Ping PHA, not always happily like, but then the grandmother is left small with not much to stand on when it comes to telling Little Nong. And yes, she does use that. She's the one who raised her. That's the only thing she has to argue with the past. So she doesn't really want Little Nong to go live with Ping PHA, but the value she was taught makes it so that she doesn't have another choice.

Like she needs to get rid of the problem but also she doesn't want to lose her because then it means she failed twice and she doesn't want to fail. Like this was her second chance and it still turned out the same way. Yeah, exactly. Again, this is all from 1 screenshot. OK, now we're going on to the positioning in the scene. It's not over yet, folks. OK, so the grandmother and Chet are closer together while there is a bigger gap between Pingfa and the grandmother.

An even bigger it should have been the title of the show it. Would have been great. I've been great. And yes, while the grandmother is feeling like she is losing control, since Chet is the one taking the control, she is trying to align herself with Chet, which is beneficial to him. OK, so hold on. She's trying to align herself more with him, which is beneficial to him because it just amplifies his ideas because he has the control. She wants to take the control.

She wants to hold on to it as much as possible. So Chet has the control. Let's go along with him and his idea so that way I don't lose everything because if Chet's controlling her, I still have a chance to have her in my life, still have her some sort of control over her.

Ping Pho is separated from this family every day since, again, she lives in the US. She may be Little Nung's birth mother, but there's always going to be this distance between her and her family because it doesn't look like she's moving back to Thailand anytime soon. I mean I keep forgetting about this but she has a fiance in the. US. Yeah, she's setting up roots. Yeah. So there's there's always that separation between them and that's what we're seeing here.

And it's just it this, this screenshot is very, very interesting. Yeah, apparently. No, like that's, that's all great because now we have to get reacquaint to your point, we have to get reacquainted with all these actors. And I don't mean like people pretending to be people. I mean, like in the play of this conversation of Lulung's life, who have kind of been absent for a while because we have been in the love bubble with the Nungs

and. No, like most of season 2 has been their relationship being together. Right. And so it's easy to forget about reality. And now we're coming back into reality. So let's re let's re establish who all these people are and what their motivations are because it is important to your point. OK, And something else I want to bring up and what I think is super fucked up about the scenario.

I understand what's happening, but I think it's super fucked up that the family is forcing Big Nung to have this conversation instead of doing it themselves. Because it seems very cowardly to me because like, you're the ones that want this to happen, but you're forcing Big Nung again to have hard conversations with your family member. Like they keep putting her in this position where they're like Big Nong, you need to do it. It's like you do it from day one.

This is what you want. Like, like poor Big Nong is always monkey in the middle with these fucking people. And it pisses me off because they're they are cowardly at the end of the day. And it's annoying. I understand. They're like, little 1 won't listen to us. Yeah, but she doesn't. Why won't she? Listen to you, there's a like. There's a reason. To go through someone else to get your daughter to listen to you.

Because maybe let's think about that a little bit and exactly why she won't listen to you directly. Maybe it's 'cause you don't have a leg to stand on because you've all been assholes to her except from Ping Pho. But that wasn't your fault, girl. Right, the critical thinking is in the toilet here, which so I feel bad for big men. She's always in this position of being coerced into these doing horrible despicable things to the person she's in love with. Anyway, so now back to the the

actual scene. So Lil Nung sitting on the couch with Big Nung. OK, they're together and then the family is doing the family thing on their couch. OK. And Big Nung tells Lil Nung about Ping of his wish to take her abroad to live with her. And Lil Nung is very rightfully confused as this is as this like FIFA came out of nowhere and this whole scene, she's like, what am I walking on? Why are you telling me things we dealt with in season 1? Why are we back here again?

I'm so confused. We settled this when you and I made that deal to get into a good Thai university using your ML power and we did that and settled that. Why are we revisiting this? Which is valid from Little Dong who had no idea about any of this. This is weird, right? And then once the going to abroad thing comes up a little long, very fiercely, it's like, I'm not going. Absolutely not.

I won't go. And I love that she came into this conversation acting like an adult because she is and sticks up for herself immediately. She's like, no, I'm not doing that immediately, no. But if you look at Big Hung's face, just she looks into his face and it looks like she's thinking, holy shit, did she just invite her parents to their face? Because obviously she says this to Big Nung all the time. But like now she's like, I'm sick of this shit guys. I'm not doing.

This, it's true, like big this is, this is also Big Nung's impact. And that's what I mean that like Little Nung feels supported when she has big Nung. And remember one of the themes, together we're stronger. So like in Little Nung's brain, we're together, we're stronger. I have you to support me so I can tell them to fuck off with this plan. Yeah, and and like this, it shows that she's just fed up with people making decisions for her because we've we've been going through this before the

show even started. I mean, the first decision that's made for her was when the grandmother sent Pink Foe away. And she is now showing them that she can make decisions for herself. She doesn't need them. Never did. Never did. Never did. But it's so great to see little Nung gaining the confidence to stand up for herself every day. Now again, she's had confidence in audacity since day one. So much audacity. Just so much so like, big.

Nung, her house and family can make her feel small and regress because that's what the grandmother and this house does to her. And it's exact same that we see with Big Nung in the palace. So Ping Pho immediately looks away. We're going back to the couch a doom and 'cause she is feeling the pain of her daughter not wanting to be with her. And like maybe she would have if they went about this a different way.

But again, she's being told her life is changing because she's being told what to do. The grandmother, her posture becomes taller again and she is appalled by little Nung's defiance. This isn't how she raised her. She's losing the control again, like her control that she had is now. Not only is she losing the control, what she's done in the past is now crumbling as well. And then Chet. Chet is Chet and doesn't react because he thinks he will get whatever he wants.

He doesn't have to worry. And what's really heartbreaking in this is that when Big Lil Rong is like no big, or when little yeah, when Little Nung says no, OK, Big Nung then looks to the family for help, 'cause they're making her do this and something. But crickets from these people. They're like, we're not helping you. Even though she says no, you have to do, you have to break up with her basically in front of us is what this really is.

And so Big Nung's like, OK, so then she has to set explain this in explicit detail to Little Nung. So she tells Little Nung that everyone but excluding Little Nung decided that we're all gonna talk like adults today. Which is real rich because everyone in this room, to your point, is about to strip Little Nung of her autonomy while simultaneously calling her an adult. Which is hypocrisy at its finest. OK. Also, they're not big adults

here. I I also love that little Nung showed up to this conversation an adult and then big Nung had to be like they agreed to let you talk like an adult. I'm like, she already established she's an adult. She's like, I'm not doing what you just told me to do. Fuck you like that. I don't say that children cower. So anyway, but big nose real serious about this and she's like, listen long. The reason I'm saying this is cuz like you got to be reasonable like adults do.

This. I really really hate this line because it's implying that little Nung shouldn't stand up for herself even though like it's not what big Nung meant. But to this family right now, standing up for yourself is being a child, defying what you're being told is being a child, when no, that's just a natural part of growing up is being able to make your own decisions.

And it's infantile, infantilizing her again by not validating her as an adult, all because she didn't immediately react well to being told she is going to be moving across the world with a woman who is still a stranger. Yeah, but it it's wild. The cognitive dissonance is wild here. And the democracy? At this point I think Little Nung has spent at most 4 weeks with Ping Feh. Yeah, in person, yeah, thank you. Right. Which is insane. Less time than check, which is

good. Anyway, you're right. OK. So yeah, it's back to this line. Why she says that. I think Big Nung wants a little Nung to be seen by her family as an adult. So they will take her wishes seriously and not just dismiss her as being childish because I'm not going. That came out with a bunch of emotion, OK? And emotions can be seen as childish. You gotta be rational and blah, blah, blah.

And so I think she's trying to warn her with this line to be like, listen, like, please, like be reasonable when you talk back to them. Because I think Big Nung knows and has known for a long time that this conversation was always going to be the worst. This conversation with the family was always going to be terrible. And it's going to focus on the reality of their relationship, which is all the things Big Nung has been afraid of. And Little Nung has been saying ignore it.

OK. So she's like, you're going to have to deal with reality. Be reasonable like this, like we've been in the fantasy, just you and me and it's been great. But like this is reality. We have to deal with reality. I've been saying this the whole time. So big young starts with the rationale for why little long

should go abroad. And she's like, well, staying away from me is going to help you decide what you really want in life because you are young and inexperienced and like, you need experiences before you know, really know what you want, right? You don't know what you don't know. And like, I youth and the youth doesn't wanna hear that. But like, it's so true. Like you just you don't know what you don't know sometimes. And like, you gotta have experienced things to really

know stuff sometimes, OK? Yeah. And I know like we've said, like the age gap is big Nung's biggest insecurity here. And this is technically a part of it, but the real insecurity is little Nung. I don't know the word like leaving little nung not regretting. Yeah, her, I guess. Regretting resenting. I always remember this. So big Nung's real. Like big insecurity right now. Is the resentment from little Nung in the future? Yes, because she's always thinking about the future.

Correct? She's not a present person. Little Nung's the present. So together they can form a whole Yeah thinking slip plan. I agree, I understand where they're both coming from, but like, yeah, she's like, we have to deal with this conversation. It's just gonna suck. Like just please try to be calm 'cause I understand this is

gonna suck. It's. Not It's not gonna go well. But in this proposal and in the rationale of going abroad, all little unheard was stay away from Big Nung. And she's like, why? Why do I have to stay away from you? And then the family starts shifting in their seeds about this, but they don't have an answer. They don't have a rational. They're like, she's upset. And then but they don't, they don't chime in. They don't chime in. Big Nung has to do it.

And big Nung tells little Nung. She's like, listen, it's because everybody in this room now knows about our relationship. Yeah, which is something huge to tell little Nung. And like, it really sucks that she has to find out huge news from Big Nung in front of the entire family because it doesn't allow her to react to the situation because she has to worry about other people in the room because anything she does can be used against her. It's like she doesn't have the

right to remain silent though. For you? Well, you're not in America also, no. Also, they probably won't be there soon anyway. And yeah, like, I don't know how this would have happened because like, it is either the next day or it's like immediately. Well, no, Pinkfill left her at the art studio. But somehow I wish Big Numg figured out a way to have a private conversation because it's so needed with all these like, big things. Like this is way too much to

throw on her right now. Not only is she leaving, but they know about it and that's why this is all happening. I'm I have faith in Big Nung. She could figure shit out. She could do stuff in secret like. Yeah, I'm with you. It would have been better if Lola was mentally prepared for this. But I wonder if Pink was like, I'll drive and then she couldn't

contact her. Or if like Big Nung was like, I want her to be happy for as long as physically possible and when I talk to her, she's not going to be. So I wonder if it's that and like you see the toll that all these conversations keep having on big nun. I feel like she's like, I don't have the strength to have this conversation twice with her cuz it's gonna this. Is breaks. You have to say it again.

Right. This breaks big nun's heart to even do it now in front of all the audience, like to imagine to have to do it more than once with her like or she's like little nun will react poorly, she'll run away like, you know what I mean? She's like I'm worried about her flight response where it's spontaneous and you never know what's going to happen and like what you know, I'm sure she spiraled and telling her is one of the thoughts. But you know how when this is the type of person when she

starts, I'm kind of like this. Once you start having she's going to have a pessimist than anything else. Once she starts having dark thoughts, you stay in the dark thoughts and it's hard to get to the good thoughts. So I think that's how we ended up here. Also, Ping Pho is probably like I'm driving you Nung so you can't call her. I wonder if it was a combination of things like that, but. I feel like there has to be like a thing with ping pho because again, Tingfa knows big nun so.

That's what I mean. Yeah, there there's something. I feel like there's so much that happens off screen that we just have to infer. Yeah, we do. There's. There's a lot going on. That's that's why we're here, hours and hours. Yeah, and poor Little Nung, to your point, is processing this information in real time and she looks between Big Nung and the family multiple times, OK, and puts together what's happening in this room and why Big Nung is saying this shit.

And so the choice be presented to her is my family or Big Nung. And what does she do? As predicted by Big Nung, she chooses Big Nung. So she abruptly stands up and says I'm definitely not going now that I know what this really is, I'm not going cuz you're trying to separate me from Big Nung. That's what this is. And Big Nung stands up next to Little Nung while everybody else stays in their seat. OK, So visually, this looks like solidarity between big Non and little Non.

They're on the same team, and the family's not on the same team as that. But if you look at big Non, sorry. I just said cowards. Because they are cowards. Like in this scene? Yeah. Big Non looks super worried because this is the worst let's be wrong. And she really wants Little Non to agree to this reasonable proposal so they can keep their relationship and she gets to keep the family. Because if the family agrees that after the two to three years, Lolong still chooses you,

we won't do anything. So she's like, that way we'll have everybody will be happy and time will heal the wounds of the past and shit like that, and we can all move on. But Lolong's like, absolutely not. I'm not going no matter what. There's nothing you can do to convince me to go. She don't see this this way. She sees her autonomy being taken away from her, which it is, and her family denying her the one thing she actually wants

in her life, which is big nun. She doesn't want anything else. She's like, I don't want to go to college. I just want her. And you're denying me the one thing that makes me happy. So what does Chuck do? He throws oil on a fire and he says you can't decide whether or not you want to go a little nun. You have to go with your mom.

So in this moment, and just with one line, Chet removes the illusion that little long is being seen like an adult and removes the illusion that there is ever a choice in any of this. You have no choice. You're not an adult. You're my child, and my child is going just like that. All gone, All gone. And to your point, Caitlin Wolong is fed up with this. She's so fed up.

So this is her breaking point. And finally she snaps and to his face tells Chet to fuck off like she's told, but not off screen, many not off screen, many times behind his back to fuck off. She tells him she's like, you didn't fucking raise me, you can't tell me what to do, bitch. Which is valid. And by that logic, neither can Pigfuffs. Huh. You just made that even more aggressive. It isn't and this is what she's

feeling and like this is valid. He didn't raise her she he can't tell her what to do. Also Pingfa can't tell her what to do. Pingfa also did not raise her. And I love Little Long's aggression towards Chet because it's so earned. Like she deserves to say this shit to him. Oh my gosh, no, it's about time. Like she she just need to go off on like all of them. But this is like completely valid. Because. He again, he chose to leave her.

Like that's the part that like I keep thinking about the the audacity of this man to come back and immediately think he can control her, forgetting the adult fact. And then the grandmother steps in and is like, what about me? Can I tell you what to do? Something like that? And like that's when little nuns walls start to crumble because she can't argue against that. Right. That's the one person that raised her.

And I want to say one thing before I move on to the grandmother Foley. Like with Chet, if he's listening to her when she says this, which who knows, he never listens. Her saying this really hopefully removes the illusion he's been having or the delusion rather that she is the perfect daughter that loves her father and sees him as a father because she's telling him right now I do not see you as my father. Why do you keep trying to fucking control me? I don't respect you at all.

Like that's her being real in this moment with him. So if he even listens to that, like I hope it removes his delusion that this was a perfect situation and he's just like Oh my daughter and blah blah blah and I'm doing all the right things. She don't see that that way bitch. Like she does not see respect you at all. All right, so back to the grandmother. So the grandmother's like, do I have the right? I'm the one in the room that

actually raised you. And little Nung looks so hurt and betrayed by her grandmother because you're right. Like the you know, by that logic, this woman can tell you and it and they're a united front right now. And little Nung is like, I'm going to lose. I'm going to lose. And big Nung knows that this cuts little Nung real deep because she understands Little Nung's relationship with her grandmother. It's love and it's twisted. And even though she hurts you,

you still love her. And if this was big Non, like young big non OK, this would be the part where she flees the palace, leaving everything behind, leaving the family in the dust. And she knows Little Nung, despite being the fighter of the two of them, has the flight response when things get bad. And she's desperate for Little Nung not to make that choice because Big Nung regrets everything that happened when she left the palace. Yeah, she found herself and things worked out.

But like, she has regrets she'll have forever from making that choice when she was young and didn't know what she didn't know. So Big Nung takes a deep breath and tries to reason with Little Nung. And she's like, girl, you got to accept the truth for what it is. We can't keep running from this. And then we get my favorite monologue from Little known where she says, this is my life, this is my love. It doesn't matter who doesn't understand? So proud of you, little baby,

little dog. That was such. That's so good. It's so good. The most mature one out of everybody. But she's right, she's like, if I'm an adult I should be able to make my own choices is what she's saying to them. See me as a fucking adult, finally. And she starts this monologue by looking at Big Nung, then shifts her gaze over to the family. And we cut to the grandmother, who looks really disappointed that Long Long's making a scene. No surprise there. Some things never change.

Then we cut to Chet, who looks offended, horrified, punchable. I can't fully describe the look on his face. I mean, he's always punchable. Right, because I'm like, I'm hoping that her her line of like, you didn't raise me. You got no right to tell me what to do. I'm hoping that really removes some of the blinders. Like it's, you know, looking behind the curtain and saying the wizard is not the wizard. Like the Wizard of Oz is like, oh, it's just some dude home lovers.

I'm hoping that's what he actually saw like the ugly truth when she said that. And so when she's saying shit like that, he's actually listening to her and is being like, whoa, but who knows? It's chat. So I just want to punch a bowl. And then also with her saying my love, like she is saying that she loves big Nung. It's not just big Nung telling them that they love each other, right? This is right. Like they can't discount the fact that little Nung is saying

my love this, I love her. And but no, I don't, I don't think Chet listens. He he can't. He does listen, but it's like every other word. So he doesn't put it. Together. So I had to say it multiple times, all right? But you know what we don't get in this, these quick cuts, Pingfa's reaction. And I wonder why we didn't get a quick cut to Pingfa. Because I wonder, was Pingfa proud of her daughter for standing up? Because remember when Pingfa was put in the situation and was

being told you're going abroad? I'm sure Pingfa didn't put up a fight. She felt like she couldn't and just took it. Meanwhile, her daughter in the same position is like, fuck no, I'm not doing it. You can't tell me what to do. This is my life, this is my love. You can't take it away from me. I'm not letting you control me. I wonder if she's a little bit

proud. I also wonder potentially if she's disappointed because she's like, oh man, I want to live with you, maybe hurt, probably guilty, a combination of all those things. I feel like it's probably what's going on with Pinkvo. No, that's it's those thoughts are all constantly going to any time that she sees little nun, I feel like there's always going to be that pride, like, oh, she, she is a human. She's she's, she's OK. But then it's that guilt and resentment for the grandmother

too. Like there's so much going on in her head that comes back to her every time she comes to tiling 'cause it's easier to distance yourself in the US. Yeah, but she's back and now like everything hits you. And so it's you can't blame her for like, not always reacting, not normal but. Or perfect but. The way you want her to. Yeah, like the way that she really should be reacting because she has to deal with so much when she comes back here. And I kind of want to, I want to

dive more into Ping Fu story. I I think that's what I'm getting from this episode right now. Anytime Ping Fu. Shows up, our episodes get really long because there's a lot to unpack with Ping Fu. She's but all of that is just again, like to your point, what we want her to do, how we want her to react. What's quote the good reaction. It's like people are not good

and bad. We're in the middle because if you look at somebody like Pingva, she has so many conflicting emotions that she's constantly carrying to your point that like, she's going to react the way she's going to react, like depending on what emotions winning currently within her. So you can't blame her. She's human. These are very human characters

that we're seeing on screen. And when we say complex characters, like this is what we mean, people who are dealing with so many different things, and then they react based on just the complexity of what's going on. And so yeah, I would have liked to have Pingva's reaction, but I understand. Yeah, if we if we were to say like she should react like this, that would be us doing what Chuck's doing and putting her in a box of how she should react and. Yeah, yeah.

All right. But anyway, Big Nung at this point feels like this situation is spiraling out of control. So she grabs Little Nung, like physically grabs her to ground her to the reality of the situation. Because like, as the adults kind of see it kind of thing, 'cause like physical contact usually like grounds her and she's like Big Nung and she's like, hold on, hold on, face reality, face. We have to face reality. You've been running from it. We got to face it. Here it is.

I also think it's another way to get Little Nun to put her focus back on her instead of the family, because that's what it's triggering, triggering her right now. And it's trying to create a moment between them where Little Nun can hopefully understand what Big Nung is saying. Because that's the only time where they can have a rational conversation because they don't have to deal with the couch

doom. And she promised to let Little Nung go. And if Little Nung is focused on that this is what her family wants, she's never going to agree to it because then that's letting them win as well. And. Right. And the other thing is like, OK, what is Big Nung's ultimate motivation here? To preserve Little Nong's relationship with her family. So in this moment, it's spiraling because Little Nong is basically chose Big Nong immediately and was like, fuck all of you.

You have no right. Yeah, fuck all of you. I will leave. I will do what Big Nong did, which is said I'm not a part of this family anymore. I'm leaving. This is my life. This is what I want to do. I'm leaving. That's what Big Nong did when she ran away from the palace. And she sees Little Nong doing that. And she's like, you're going to sacrifice your family. This is not what I want. Oh my God, it's spiraling. So she's like back to me, back to me.

If you're angry at anybody, be angry at me because that's the only way to get this to work is if you like, focus on me. Focus like stop attacking them. Like, come on. OK. So big number minds, little long. I've been warning you about this the whole time, basically. And she's like, listen, we got to live in reality. And reality, as we've seen in America, is imperfect and unjust. That's just reality. That's what it is because people

are not good or bad. We're in the middle and good and bad shit happens all the time, whether we like it or not. And the two of these, the two of them have always wanted acceptance. That's always something that they they wanted. And she's like, we're not going to get that if we run away and if we attack everybody, we're just not OK. Because big non learned this lesson first hand when she ran away from the palace and went through all that stuff. And she's really trying her best

to get little non to understand. And she keeps going and says, like to Little Nung that her family, they have their reasons to disagree with the relationship. And if you notice, Big Nung takes a pause at while speaking. And when she does, she breaks eye contact with Little Nung, like when she's kind of saying this stuff. And I think it pains her to see Little Nung upset and to know that, like, her words are really what's making Little Nung upset.

And she's actively breaking Little Nung's heart, OK? And she did the same thing in one O 6, OK? She had she stayed strong, had that horrible despicable thing where she's like, I was using it for sex and got Lil Lung to leave upset. And the minute Lil Lung was out of her sight, Big Nung lost it. Like she hates this, but she feels good intentioned in the moment, OK?

Because like they have to break Little Mung's heart, also breaks Big Nun's heart, OK. Meanwhile, the cowardly family is sitting on the couch of doom in silence, just not doing anything. So fuck all of them really in the same, even you pig for a little bit, OK. But then Big Nung delivers the death blow by saying your family has the reasons. And I agree with them. Like, 'cause she's vocalized these concerns to Little Nung so

many times. And every time she tries to have the conversation with Little Nung, Little Long's like, let's not think about that. Fuck other people. And so that was never actually resolved between the two of them. So when so Little Nung starts getting surprised that this is happening, but it's like you can't be surprised. Big Nun has brought this up so many times and you guys never actually really resolved a lot

of her feelings about this. Like they've had the conversation on the couch where like Little Nung's like, look, I get what the future's going to be. It's going to be fine. Like I've accepted I've actually thought this through. Have you actually thought this through, Big Nung? I don't know that you've thought about this more than I have. Like to say that you don't know what you don't know. And she's like, I've really thought about it and like, I'm OK with what's going to happen.

Like, but to Liu Nung's, you know, point to it to be upset in this moment is completely valid because part of the relationship has been her experiencing Big Nung waffling about the relationship and like, voicing these concerns. So like, this really isn't that surprising, honestly. She's heard these arguments before. You're young, your life's just starting, You need to be more people. You'll forget about me. Like, and I've said a million times, the concerns are valid.

That's why Big Nung's like I agree 'cause I think these are valid reasonable things. And really if you remember, Lil Nung has lived an incredibly sheltered life. Like she was basically stuck in that house by herself because of the grandmother and was denied so many experiences. What did the grandmother deny? Her friendship and freedom which is real rich when they're like well she hasn't experienced the

world. You forced her into isolation her whole life to protect her from being Ping Pho, basically. And then you're like, well, she has no experiences. It's like you guys created this scenario for her where she had no experiences. And so finally, like, Little Nung is on the cusp of freeing herself from the shackles of childhood, right? We're going to let you be an adult in this conversation. We've seen her in season 2. The reason we forget the grandmother's hold is because in

season 2, she's in university. That's the first time she's ever had freedom. Like truly she's in she's in a in an environment with other adults, people who are being seen as adults in society and she's transforming into an adult. So we see her as more of an independent person. We don't see her relying on her grandmother as much. She's becoming independent.

Like she's stepping into that role and being seen that way by her peers by Big Nung. So like, my question to the family is like, how could Little Nong possibly know who she really is when she was never allowed to be her own person? Like you've said a million times, Caitlyn, the way she figured it out was by escaping into media, escaping into her radio show, escaping into her books. That's a very point. But The thing is though, that

like people change over time. As you experience things, as you learn new information, as the world change around you, you change too. That's just how life works. And little Nung on the other side of this argument, does have a youthful mindset. Think about her in this scene. She's passionate. Youth tends to be passionate. She sees things in black or white. It's this or that the there's no Gray areas to this. I don't care what other people think.

It's what I want. Not you want yes, not no. And she firmly believes things will never change. And this mindset is normal for young people. But as you age, you change. We watched big Dong messy 30 year old change over the course of this television series from a pat the passionate youth that told gave her grandmother the middle finger and went out to live on her own and figure her

own shit out. We saw that woman, the woman that was living off of her wealthy sister, mature into this adult who is now more emotionally intelligent and like really matured in one season of a television show. Like we watched her do that. We watched her transform and big nun knows that little nun is going to change. She's going to and she's going to change and and that's like

the reality of relationships. Like you get into a relationship with somebody, but like both people do change and sometimes the relationship changes and sometimes it gets stronger and sometimes you drift apart. That's just relationships. That's just people. And big Nung is a big worry wart and she's afraid that when Little Nung changes, she's not going to want her anymore. Like that concern.

That's why when when Chet brought that up, like you're just going to be his old auntie, that's like holding her back. That's what hurt her the most, because she knows that's very real and that I don't think she can live with that. I mean, it's a real possibility, but it's a real possibility for anyone because everyone changes, even people the same age. You may grow apart because your interests change, and that is OK. And.

That is why, like, things like divorce shouldn't be like, stigmatized because it's life, it's human beings. You grow, we're going to learn. It well, that's the thing. People like to pretend things are black and white because it's easier. It's the boxes again. It's easier to see the world as black and white. It's less complicated. It's simple, but nothing simple. And Luminong outgrowing Big Nung and resenting Big Nung and never wanting to see her again is Big Nung is fear.

But that's exactly what the family's hoping is going to happen with this gambit they're all playing. You know, the deal that's being struck here because they want to avoid the scandal of this relationship. Right now, they're the only ones that know it's not on social media. I mean, it probably is on social. Media now look. How it's a fandom? What do you mean we're literally? Taking pictures of the two of

them together. The truth is out there, guys, like there's no way there isn't some Reddit forum obsessed with Little Long's podcast that's speculating about the there's no way that doesn't exist. There's just no way. Have you seen the Fayeoko people dissecting fan events? Like there's no way that that's not happening in the background. It's out there. They just don't see it. But in their minds, they're like, if we if we get rid of this now, the scandal will never come to light.

We always forget the Internet exists, but whatever, OK. Yeah, no technology, technology. Computers. Big Nun computers, all right. But the difference between the family and Big Nung is that Big Nung wants Little Nung to be happy. And I think she's worried if she denies Little Nung the chance to outgrow her, then she'll just be another adult that trapped Little Ng into some life that she didn't want. I think she's worried about being like everybody else, kind of in a way.

That's where especially because she was trapped too, like she knows little. I know we've said it, but she knows little Nun's experiences too. She just does she. Does and that like that it's a big impact on this situation. Yeah, she got 16 years on her and they've had very similar experiences. So she's like, I have regrets, I don't want you to experience

them kind of thing. That's a lot of this, which like that's the strength of their relationship is like she has a a degree of wisdom from life experiences and little 1 doesn't. And they together, they like balance it. Like they help each other with their like perspectives. But anyway, this is the big conflict we all have to get through. But little wrong. She's over it and upset and she's so just tired. She's a Democrat in America right now. It's way too soon, the aura.

Not too soon. It's not too soon. It is no. Everyone's tired. Yeah, so she asks Big Nung after hearing all this, she's like this reason again, like really Big Nung really. And I love that she says this in front of the family because it's evidence. To your point, she said my love, OK, evidence that this isn't 1 sided. We start racking up the evidence. There's that and then this reason again.

So evidence that Little Nung and Big Nung have talked about all these concerns before, and Big Nung is not coercing Little Nung into something nefarious. My guess is it the only person in this room who actually heard this for what it was was ping pong. 'Cause really, that sounds accurate. It's Little Nung admitting we've had conversation like real ones about this relationship. Whatever. OK then Little Nung proceeds to recite cardigan at the Taylor Swift song and in summary, she

knows how she feels. She knew everything when she was young and she knows her feelings are not going to change because to be fair to little Nung, she's been through it with Big Nung, Jay's been through it, OK, all the highs, all the lows. Season 1 finale. Never forget, never forget. She's scarred for life. Never forget, never forget. Big Nung doesn't do that never forget. And here's the deal, despite all of that, her feelings have not changed. Like she never hated Big Nung.

She was upset, she was hurt, but every time Big Nung's like, do you hate me? Now? Little Nung would only say how can I hate you? I love you? It's to be fair, they've been through hell and she's still feels the same way.

So like This is why the other thing is like OK, surface level when you're like she's young because of her age, she's inexperienced because of her age in this relationship, they actually went through a lot of experiences and here they are even stronger as a so like to dismiss all of that is actually pretty fucked up even for big Not like girl, you put her through some hell and like she's. Still here, she thought. To be here.

Right she's constantly fighting to be here and like never gives up and does love you despite all the stuff like you guys have been through So like she is experienced and does know what she she aged 20 years in this relationship and she does know what she's saying. So there's that. All right, so after Lil Nung says this, Big Nung pauses for a second and takes a minute before she speaks. Because I think she was on a personal level was truly hoping that that's how Lil Nung really feels.

Because this is how big Nung really feels. At the end of the day, it's confirmation that they are actually on the same page. And her gambit in Big Nung's mind, the deal she just struck with the family is going to work. So Big Nung says, like, if you're so sure your feelings are never going to change, then prove it. Prove it to everybody. Like stay away from me for a couple of years and prove that your your feelings are not going to change.

I think the everybody that she's referred to includes big none. Oh yeah. 'Cause at least then she that insecure. I mean, the insecurity might still be there. It will still be there, but it's not the most contributing factor because they made it through. Right. She needs it for her Peace of Mind. Otherwise she's worry worse. She will always the pessimist. She's always gonna be thinking about it. OK.

So basically what she's saying is like really what's the harm of being a part to make your family happy and to gain us that acceptance we're looking for? And I've mentioned two or three years, nothing in the grand scheme of things you've already reiterated. These points, but but she said two to three years too. It's only two to three years, but like they can barely be apart for two hours like these two are so like joined like it. I mean, it is a big deal.

But again, it would it would feel slow in the second, but then they'd have the rest of their life together. Right, all right. And then Big Nun's point is like, hey, once we do this and prove it, your family can't do anything anymore. Like they have to accept us then at that point and to your point, they're codependent. So Ludo Nong is devastated and it shows.

And then and then we finally cut to Ping Pho's reaction and she's watching this intently and then drops her head like she's actually empathetic towards her daughter's situation. And I feel like even if Ping Pho wanted to intervene to help her daughter because we have seen her intervene and stand up to her mother on her daughter's behalf, she wouldn't because at this point she is outnumbered by her mother and Chet. And she's also an outsider. Really. Yeah, the most outsider, basically.

And while the camera's on pink felt little long processes everything big none just said and comes away with it with one question. Do you big None really want me to go? Are we on the same page? Is what she's kind of asking her. And big Nung is silent and very shifty eyed and not purposely not looking at little Nung. And the word winning tears are hovering and she stays like that.

And little Nung just looks flabbergasted because this is a repeat of one O 6. This is Big Nung letting down Little Nung. This is Big Nung refusing to be honest and fight for their relationship in the way that Little Nung wants Big Nung to fight for the relationship. This poor girl, this trouble. She's been through it again. Give Mon and Little Nong some kind of compensation package for the shit they go through sisters. Like my God. The two of them are so strong.

Thank you all. Have a drink together I'd. Say I I want the conversation between Mon and Little Nong trauma bonding over these fucking sisters. Swear to God. All right, so Little Nong keeps going and asks Big Nong, to your point, Caitlin, can you bear being apart from me for so long? Years, years of us being apart. And if you watch Big Nung, this is when she starts getting visibly more upset because Big Nung doesn't actually want this. She's also equally as codependent.

And the Big Nung Whisperer picks up on Big Nung's body language because Little Nung knows Big Nung doesn't actually want this, but like she needs her to fucking say it and fight. So Little Nung tries to ground Big Nung by taking her hand and a gesture that usually is successful at pulling Big Nung out of her spiraling thoughts and back to the present. OK, because you're right, she's always thinking ahead. Not right now. I with her grabbing Big Nung's

arm. I think it's also her way of trying to get Big Nung to look her in the eyes and also say it because Big Nung has a habit of saying not saying big things while looking at her. It's easier for her to say things when you're not staring at someone in the eyes. Right, totally. But the grounding gesture doesn't work, and Big Nung extracts her hands from Little Nung's hold and then crosses her arms. Like closing herself off to what?

To Little Nung, basically. Holding a wall that has to hurt even worse like that is just like the like the icing on the cake, whatever metaphor you want that is. I don't I don't know if it's worse than one O 6, but it definitely enhances all that trauma and like now we're just making it even worse and we're just gonna it's gonna follow like again. It will follow them because it's

happened now multiple times. Yeah oh little Nung is 100% being triggered from the one O 6 shit that did damage forever. And you know what? Like she has every right for this feeling. Like I understand big Big Nung's motivations right now and she basically has to do this, but this is hurting little Nung way too much. Yes, so much. Yeah. And you see it on screen. Little Nung is heart.

His heart's breaking. And this is the worst thing Big Nung could have done in this moment because Little Nung asked her earlier when they were listening to the radio show, will you fight together for this relationship like the people do on this show? And Big Nung never answered her. It's like, here's your answer. Little Nung feeling utterly betrayed by Big Nung again. One O 6 never forget. Little Nung asks her, Have you ever loved me at all?

Little Nung in the scene is actively losing her unshakable belief. So this is like an identity crisis in a way for little known because she's questioning if this relationship was real or fantasy, which kind of a pinfa did earlier when she confronted big none, Big none was like wow, you think I'm unreliable? This little one was basically asking her the same thing and when she asked her this big none

looks at little none. Because I wonder if big Nun has has also been asking herself this question too, but in a different way where she's been thinking, can this relationship be real? Like can this relationship actually exist out of the confines of my bedroom basically? And will these feelings be real for both of us over time? Because if you think about it like feelings are new for big. But I was like, she doesn't know if they're just going to disappear one day.

You know, like she also is like she's scared. She's a scared person. This is all very new to her and she doesn't know what to do. And she's supposed to be the older one that knows what she's doing and she doesn't. And that's why she like, fumbles so many things like, which is a very human thing to do. And also like she's so much has changed in her life, like between like so many, I mean, her parents aren't in her life. The grandmother like it's there's so much change. Yes, yes.

That you never know what's gonna happen and it's unknown. And yeah, it's, she probably has a fear of the unknown a little bit as well at this point. Because girl, they, they just, they just need a little bit of security for once. Yeah, I agree. Trauma. Trauma. So at this question, do you love me or did you ever love me? Big Nun says. I don't know, and it's a good thing we're going to be separated so I can sort out all these feelings.

OK. So, and The thing is, I think big Nung wants to believe in undying love in the in the future that little Nung sees that. I fully believe that. But she's not a blind faith type of person, OK? She needs evidence. She needs to be reassured. She needs all that stuff. But Little Nong is the blind faith person who's like, they had this conversation earlier where she was like they were watching the listen to the radio show and Little Nong was

basically like, I'm scared too. I can, I know you're scared. I'm scared too. But the only thing I'm really afraid of is I'm going to lose you. Everything else in life can change and be scary. I'm not worried about that. I know that together we'll get through whatever it is. And but if we don't have you, then I'm afraid kind of thing. And big Nog's like I'm afraid of everything, all of the things. She's very afraid of stuff, all

right. But big Nog. But little one has this unshakable belief, right? And she can't believe that after everything they've been, all the things they've been through, after all of Big Nong's love confessions and Don't leave Me, that Big Nong would say something like this. Like, that's devastating for her to hear. Well, they just backtracked the entire relationship basically. Yeah, and so Luderman says.

So you're saying that after all this bullshit, you still don't know how you feel, You don't know what's in your own heart after all of everything we've been through, Which is unbelievable, honestly, because it's not true like that. That's why she's flabbergasted. You're lying to me right now like you're lying to me actively. And then we get a repeat of two O 1 where Little Nong basically tells Big Nong she's disappointed that she's not

fighting by her side. And then she does the thing where she pokes Big Nong, and Big Nong takes that step back because she pushed herself forcefully. Because that's what happened in the 2O2 hallway fight. She called her a monster. She poked her. She's doing it again here because that's how you know that Little Nong is really upset. And yeah, and again, this is like another example of their responses where Little Nung is

fight Big Nung's flight. And with the Couch of Doom being there, it's making this even more stressful. Like, this girl wants to get out of there. I would want to get out of there. I want to get out of the scene. Right? Like, this is insane. And like, Big Nung is used to being told what to do and being expected to follow it. She defied those expectations before and she never got closure with the grandmother. So this is affecting her.

She's like, I can't fight because if I do, it's going to turn out terrible and then I'll never get over it. And we'll never get out of the. Scene we won't A very long scene. All right, so after the after the poke, a forceful shove, Big Nung's body language subtly shifts and she hunches. Her shoulders come forward and she looks smaller in front of Little Nung. And that's when Little Nung dramatically exits twice with the crossfade, because it's dramatic.

Yeah. And only when her back is turned does Big Nung look very longingly after her. And before she starts crying, Big Nun looks to the cowardly family on the couch of doom. Like, are you happy now? Are you not entertained? I did what you wanted. I broke my heart and hers. Congratulations, you won. OK? And I want to end this with a quote from a book I read this year that I really loved called A Bond Me for Two. It's really great, but. It's short. Look at how cute it is.

It's basically a sapphic book about a girl who's lived her entire life in Vietnam and a girl who's Vietnamese American. And they meet when the Vietnamese American girl is doing a study abroad. And it's all centered around food. And it's it's awesome. It's a very cute story. It's very, very short. But there was something, there's a passage I want to read from this that that like I was in Blank Land when I read this and I was like, hmm, this kind of explains something going on in

this scene. So I just want to read it really quickly to kind of put into perspective this whole family shit that's going on. OK, All right, OK. And then I have that little back story. So the Vietnamese American girl, basically her mother, her parent, both of her parents, American immigrants from Vietnam. So she's like first generation American basically. And part of her quest of coming to Vietnam is figuring what happened to her mom.

Why did her mom leave? Because her parents, her mom never talks about it. OK, so this is a conversation between the two girls that the sapphics that are into each other. So the Vietnamese American girl asks, how do you leave the people you love? So the person responding looks away and then says, I'm not sure, but I think sometimes you have to do what's right for you, even if you may lose the people you love most.

Sometimes when LON, that's the girl that lives in Vietnam, speaks of these things, I can't help but wonder if she ever thinks about leaving Saigon. It makes me think of Mom too, if somewhere deep in Mom's heart she still thinks about the family she has here. If it kills Mom not to see them again. So to me, that really reminded me of like the regret thing that Big Nong is holding onto the cost of leaving your family behind when you're doing something that's in your best interest.

And like, just like the book, it worked out for the person that made the decision. But like, there's a cost to that. That sometimes is very pain, so painful you don't talk about it 'cause it hurts so badly, which is like kind of the book thing. So I know we're mad at Big Dong for being despicable and breaking Lil among his heart. But like, I really do believe that her intention is really for

Lil Along to avoid that outcome. Because I think that's the type of regret she lives going to live with, with the grandma and stuff, Particularly because they never got the closure right. And she's doing her best to prevent that here. And she's tried having these conversations with Lil Along and Lil one just can't see her perspective on this for whatever reason. So anyway. Who's the author? Of the book Trinity Nguyen. Go check it out everybody. Yeah, the book is so cute.

I really love the book. It's it's very light. It's more light hearted tone, but it's really good conversation about like immigration and kind of like how it feels to be a first generation immigrant to go back and see your roots and like what it's like to live in one city your whole life. And so that's the other character, like who's never left the city they live in. And that's like little known. So it's a cute, very cute sapphic book. It's adorable.

Check it out. Yeah. All right, so I think Caitlin's right. I don't think we're gonna get through this. No, I was like, we're, we're clogging in at least five hours. So like with the notes that we have left for this episode. So I think it's best to end here before so we don't scare people who are looking at the timing. Also to make sure it uploads onto Spotify, so there's. Issues that too. Oh yeah, that there's a lot of reasons why we should end here.

We also need a break from pain right now. Let's just take a moment to breathe. OK, so with now breathe with the. Big Gay Energy Award. Oh, OK, yeah, big gay energy. Was there a bit little nung being like, you didn't raise me Chad. Honestly that that that was my favorite, but also big Nung standing up for the relationship over and over again and being like, I love her I just love her stop being homophobic. It's normal What our crime is love. How is that a crime like I?

Standing up to chat. Yeah. Telling him to get out of that palace because he had no right. Ma'am, that was nice, putting gross men in their place. I love to see it Taylor Swift songs I. Mean again, it's gonna be hours for me and I will. We'll see. We'll see when that happens. We'll maybe we'll dive into it more because ours really fits them. And I don't know if I said this in the last episode, I probably did, but Pooja is on the same

lines with me also. Big Nung, I will say is entering her red era at this moment and I almost do, will be Big Nung going forward I think hence why she didn't call little Nung, give her the head up heads up. I almost do. Every time I think about calling you, I don't, but I almost do. That's Big, Nung. Right now this is all too well because Ping FA knows like the big Nung stuff. Little Nung knows the big Nung stuff with their relation. Oh my gosh, like it wasn't. But that the fact that this

isn't rare now. Yeah. They're. Yeah, yeah, All right. Well, it was a bit of a depressing of an episode, but we hope we made it insightful. Looking for that forward to that Ping Fu sequel. For the fan fiction, yeah. What would you wanna see in a Ping Fu sequel? Like what are your fan fiction story ideas? You know, do you have a favorite one that you wanna link us to? Like send it to us? Cuz I don't, I haven't read any yet cuz I'm so focused in like really diving into what's here

because I can't. Like I am the person who will read a fan fiction and then I'll think that was the actual show because it's me. But anyway, if you made it this far in the episode, we want to know. Here's your secret word today to use in a comment or review. Today's secret word has been given to me by my mom because we were driving here. I'm like, oh crap, we had to break this up into more parts. I need another word. So today's secret word is nickel.

Fritz, You're welcome. It'd be really funny if you like transition off of like difficult to spell words and you're just like, I want you to use this phrase couch of doom. OK, you have an option Stickle fridge to Couch of Doom? Yeah, I mean, I feel like Couch of Doom is going to be easier. But Couch of Doom for sure is the title of this episode.

But like run away with Couch of Doom anyway, So thank you guys next time we're on this journey until this episode ends 'cause this episode is like the apex of the drama and like everything coming to a head and we need to get here so we can get to our resolution, which is the last episode. So keep coming on the journey with us. It's. Just gonna be so long.

It's gonna. Be so it's gonna be so long, but blank deserves it. So until next time, hydrate for lesbian Jesus. And get up all over the place. While we can, while we can. Bye bye. And with that, we've been big gay energy. Thank you for listening. We'd really appreciate it if you downloaded this episode and left us a review. No matter how brief, your contribution will help us reach a wider audience. We would love to hear from you

about everything and anything. You can find us on all social media platforms at Big Gay Energy Pod or e-mail us at Big Gay Energy [email protected]. Join our Discord server to connect with us and our friends who also love queer media. The link to join is in our episode description below if you'd like to support us. Check out our merch store on big gayenergypod.com or join our Patreon for early access to episodes, exclusive content, and so much more.

Until next time, hydrate. For lesbian Jesus and get it up all over the place.