Hello and welcome to Big GAY Energy. I'm Caitlin and I'm Fiora. Come along with us while we dive into the fun and nuances of queer media. Representation matters and we're here to talk about it. Cheers, queers. What's on the big gay agenda today, Theora? Today we are continuing our very long winded and very in depth discussions of Blake the series. I hope you're enjoying the ride. If you've made it this far, I think you are. Yeah, Oh my gosh. No. These.
Episodes have been the longest ones we've put out in so long. Yeah, like, for real. Today we'll be discussing season one, episode 5, the Gay panic episode. There's so much of it. But there's a lot of game paddock in. General, but yeah, this this one has a lot. All right, well, before we get any further, let's just hydrate for Faye now. Yep. Cuz she exists, therefore we hydrate for lesbian Jesus. Yep. We don't have to rate it at all now.
It's already A10. It's on a. Scale of 0 to Faye, 0 to Faye. I mean, it is. It's that is our. New ferry Faye. We've got a lot of different rankings from this show between the Faye ranking and the Limes. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no, no, we got it. But we did that for the different show. Oh my God, no. Blake is now, like, bled into literally everything we do.
Yes, if I don't know when this is coming out, but if you go, I think if you go maybe on Patreon, I don't know if this end up on YouTube and watch our The Secret of Us reaction to episode 3. We have some blank fan fiction in there randomly. Oh yeah, no, we. Wrote the whole thing. That's a huge. Crossover. If. We didn't finish writing it. We need to first of all. Yeah, we managed to bring up Faye. It's just of course. And then Jim from Gap, the series. So just go watch that 'cause
that was a mess. We have to finish that fan fiction 'cause I like, need it. I need the gym and Inka fan fiction. Now. I'm surprised your brains didn't really go to gym because of Faye. It's just been hydrating for Faye for like weeks since. That is fair. Sorry, Jim. But. We're here for Blank and we are focusing on Faye. So. Oh yeah. So real quick, if you're not aware, we have reacted to the entirety of Blank the series. It's on our Patreon.
A bunch of you over there enjoying that right now. Thank lesbian Jesus. Glad you're there. Some of them will end up on YouTube just because editing reasons. So if you want more Blank content than we're putting out now, please become a Patreon. For $5.00 a month you can get access to all of that and even more things we react to. We just don't have time to edit it and put it on YouTube. Also we're getting blocked for something so like go on Patreon Patreon gets everything.
Editing is so annoying for you too. It's super annoying. So and Patreon give gives us requests. We do it. So like just go have fun over there. That's my it's a great time. You guys are all actually talking in there as well. Yeah. You can also come join your discord. And just we. Can all talk about it together. It'll be a fun time. Yep. Tell us how much you would hydrate for blank on a scale of 0 tooth to. Thin. Or Yoko, if Yoko's your your top.
But big men, I think we're making our stance pretty clear. But anyway, let's get into this episode. I'm sorry I'm only dying over here. I'm just dying of hydration. Lack of hydration. I guess I needed to hydrate more for Caleb. Perfect. Yeah. Can never hydrate enough. The issue is I don't have actual water. That is a problem. OK, so episode 5 starts off with a cold open. We don't always get a scene before the and I don't know why
this isn't here. I know seriously, this is the most I would say this is the most random opening of any of these episodes because it's like it's literally like 60 seconds and it's completely out of context and unnecessary. It's so unnecessary. I have two bullet. Points for this. And it's little Nung says goodbye to Big Nung and her father. And then I just love how Chet is running away after big Nung because Oh my God, that's my I'm I'm gone.
That's my favorite part. Like she says goodbye to little Nung and then leaves him and I think he's her ride and she just leaves and he's like, where are you going? She says nothing. That's my favorite part. So maybe the comedy, the like fame was hilarious of this. We'll just leave it in. That's how we got this scene because she is funny. And it's like cut out of the prior episode. They're like, Oh, we need to cut it down for time. Yeah, I don't know. It's so random. All right?
But now Ping Pong is really salty because Big Nung didn't make Little Nung hate her because how? Can you hate big Nung anyway? It's clearly impossible, as Little Nung proves throughout this whole show. And now Little Nung has told Ping Pong that she does not want to go to the USA with her because why would she? I know we live here. Why would you want to come here? And it's like she wants to actual control over her own life. Like, who would have thought?
Yeah, I just apparently not. Pink FA. Pink FA. No thoughts. Just trying to take my daughter. That's it. Just that's it. That is one thought. Just one thought. No thoughts, Just feelings. Yeah. Just vibes. Pink. This vibe is revenge. That's it. That's one vibe. OK. So big nun's like, well, what do you want me to do about it? Little Nung was like literally crying when she found out that you wanted to take her away from everything she's ever known in her life.
To go to a. Different country that doesn't even speak the same language. But that's a huge. Change. I know, and I love that Big Nung is the only person who brings that up. She like you realize you're trying to bring her to a whole other country. She's struggling in school. She had fluent in English. We don't even know like it was wild. But I do love how whipped big Nung is because again, her reasoning is like she cried. So I gave her everything she wanted.
What did you want from me? Fake. But like she's so whipped. It's so funny. All she has is just big Nung tears, or I mean little Nung tears and she's just like whatever hair, take it, take everything you want my apartment. There we go. She didn't want to kick the puppy when it was down even more. The puppy was crying. Yeah, the puppy was in tears. The puppy. Was in tears when the puppy is sad. No, the the big the black cat is
not happy, correct. Yeah. OK, so then ping FA like ping FA has a one. Track. Mind, I mean it's revenge and jealousy, but it's nothing I had to do better. Than revenge. That's where these are Brooklyn. Brooklyn agrees with me. OK, so Ping FA is just appalled at this point 'cause she thinks that Big Nung is saying that she loves her more than her actual mother, but like, no shit. Well, also yes, but OK. Yeah.
This is another one of those instances where like the word love, I think it's one of those words that's being used that means multiple types of affection. So it keeps getting conflated with nuns like romantic love versus like loving platonic slash familial love. But I love the way Pigfa's brain immediately goes to, well, if you wanted a daughter so badly. And it's like, bro, did we not establish that they're friends like a long time ago?
So there's that. And I also think that this is still Pigfa, just not being over Big Nun rejecting her 20 years ago. So I think, I mean, I would need therapy forever if Big Nun rejected me, obviously. So Pigfa relatable girl, I get it. But I feel like through her daughter, she feels like she's getting rejected all over again. So I think it's this is
triggering her. And I think that's part of the reason why she's so like unreasonable about this situation and like is unwilling to hear other points of views for a while. Like big nun eventually wears her down. But like, yeah, I think that's partially why I think she's triggered. And it's like she's not processing other information. It's just one track mind, kind of like you were saying, Yeah.
And but when Ping Fong says how dare you love another person's daughter, every woman is another person's daughter, Ping Fong. For what the fuck is this? Why? That is true as well, but it's just like love it because we're not like establishing what kind of love, big nun. His. Attention is caught right away and she shoots up in bed. I don't even know. She actually might have been sitting already, but she starts gay panicking. Oh yeah. And then it's like, be careful with your words.
No, literally this is when Big Don gets triggered and she's like be careful brandishing the L word around. I never said love. I never said the L word. I don't even know what that means. She's a whole ass lie. And then ping thought I mean. You said it a little kind of that if she wants a daughter so bad, Big Nung should have one. I'm like, first of all, she's not really treating her like a daughter. She's, I mean, in a way. She is, but it's because she's.
Treating her as a person, right? Do we not understand treating people like humans versus like children? Like, why is that so hard to like separate? It's like she wants this person to actually succeed in life. So I mean in a way she is treating her as a better mother than Ping FA, but I I think she cares. About. Her right 'cause she actually cares about her, like as a person.
Yeah, I don't. It's just this is wild, but and then ping FA, like basically her only way that she can establish control is by saying that little Nung is not allowed to see her anymore. Yeah, that's the last card she has. I will control her the way my mother was is controlling everybody, right. I mean, like, to be fair, that's what she knows. Yes. So exactly, like this is the only way she knows how to control a situation. And when she, like, she's basically spiraling right now.
She's like, yes, everyone's rejecting me. Yeah, 'cause like, even her mom is not treating her well because, like, they were. Their relationship was gone so long ago. Oh, my God. We'll get into that later when they have dinner. But like, her mother treats her like trash. It's horrible. The grandmother may be the worst character. Yeah, It's like, it's like this grandmother. Chet the grand Bam. I just saw you thinking. Were you thinking, like whether to put Chet? I hate Chet more.
The grandma. OK, at least the grandma accepts the queerness. She's like, whatever, here's Sam and Mon. I don't care. Not gonna be the queen. That's all I'm trying to say anyway. She's got her issues. But like, I hate Chad Moore. He's just. He doesn't grow or learn anything. He was just. He's the worst. I hate him. That's fair. He's just there. He's just there to piss me off.
But then Pink Fuss says that it's strange that little nun loves a stranger more than her own mother, who is a stranger. And then like, who's the actual stranger in this situation, right? Like, I know we keep saying the same thing over and over, but it's because these characters won't learn. I know it's 'cause they don't learn. So we have to keep bringing this up 'cause they keep bringing it up.
Little Nung is an adult. First of all, Ping FA, you're the stranger 'cause you have never been around Chet. We don't even concern you. No, you're definitely a stranger, Chet. Yeah. So Big Nung is like, all right, this bitch is never gonna learn how to be a mother. So she calls Ping FA out. So she's like, have you ever comforted Little Nung?
Big Nung has. And then also tells her that she has been so self-centered since she got here and hasn't even thought of what this move would do to Little Nung. Like, again, it's a different country, it's a different continent. It is across a huge ocean and. She didn't even bother to. Ask little Nung first. And that's like the whole issue. And I know that you brought up before in a previous discussion that this is what parents do in
this culture like this. They control or at least that's like how people are raised and you brought you are my property. Yes, thank you. So they're they just decide things, but it just I don't understand, like, why wouldn't you ask the person, especially an adult, how they feel about
the situation? Also like that and also like she's got to go to, I assume like Ping Fu's big plan was like she'll graduate high school, then go to college slash university, whatever you want to call it in somewhere else. But it's like she has to then apply to all these places. Like you can't guarantee she's just gonna get into a school. You also know nothing about how she's doing in school.
Like this is a wild plan without actually knowing you're the person you're about to put into this position. Like you don't even know if she could do it. But I guess people is not a shoe because like later than she gets into a school, like two weeks, we'll talk about that later. That's a whole another discussion. But like from Pinkfa's point of view, like it was more just like, I want her with me. And like literally there was no thought into any other aspect of this at all.
It's. It's very clear in this conversation because nuns, big nuns, like, do you even know your daughter at all? Like the answer is always no, correct? The answer's no. Which again part it's not entirely Ping so's fault she doesn't know her daughter, but like it becomes very clear when Nung is making points that like only one of you actually know what's going on. The thing is. Ping Pho's coming in like she has been there the entire. Exactly. She's not.
Trying to get to. Know her daughter. She's acting like she has been her mother since she was born, and then that's just causing a lot more issues because, you know, Little Little Nung isn't that easy to get a grasp of. There's a lot going on up there. There's a lot of trauma that has. Formed her. So it takes a little bit to get to know her. Except Big Nung, because Big Nung and Little Nung are basically the same person. Also, they took the time to get
to know. They're still getting to know each other. That's true that too. They actually talk, they actually thought they communicate Exactly. Anyway, Nung twist the knife in Ping Fa's heart. I'm assuming that's what I meant. And she asked why she never came back to take care of little Nung. Because I'm wondering if Ping FA even like fought the grandmother to like come back at all or if she was just like accepted her
fate. I feel like what happened with Ping FA was and remember she was 16 when she was exiled. Not only like I think part of her thinking was like my daughter can handle this is that she's like, I was forced to handle it and here I am because she was exiled at 16 by her grandmother and was forced to live in another country. We don't know where, USA, Europe, not really sure. But abroad, she was forced to go abroad and she was forced to
adapt. So all the points that big nun's bringing up pink fuzz, like she can definitely do that. I did it when I was younger than her and I had nobody. So like, she did it to be fair. So I think that's really like conflating her thinking. And the reason I expressed this in another episode, but I think the real reason she didn't come back sooner is I don't think Pingfa had her life together, first of all. And second of all, look at how
her mother still talks to her. Like later in the conversation, she's like, if if little nun lives with you, is she going to be just like you? So like the grandmother still has this horrible view of her own daughter. So I think Pingfa was kind of in that position where she's like, I have to prove myself worthy again to my mother to get her
love. So I think that's kind of why she's waiting come back now or she's like, I have a job, I'm successful, I'm about to get married, like do all the things my mother wanted me to do and be like, look, I did all the things, love me again. I think that's why she's partially why she's coming back now. And now she's like, I have my shit together. You can't fight me on taking my daughter back because you wouldn't let me be with her when I was 16.
So I think that's kind of why this is happening now. And I think Pingfa is very desperate to get this done. 4 little non enrolls in university and like really establishes a life here. I think she's trying to she's trying to do this quickly. Also, she's like, I got a flight. Catch in a few. Weeks I got to do this now. I think that's part of it too. The practical aspect of this. I mean, overall it's it's very fair. I don't blame Ping FA at all,
like wanting this. It's just the way that she's going about all of it, that it's very aggressive and like me, me, me, me, me kind of thing. Yeah. All right, so I'm going to get into my favorite arguments from Nung for for big Nung here. First of all, when she's like listening, she reads pink photo filth basically by essentially projecting all the things that she does and be like, you ever do any of this shit? No, but I do when she's like, do you ever comfort your daughter, bitch?
I'm always her shoulder to cry on. And it's kind of like This is why I love Big Nung because here's this opportunity. Like when she's when she's able to defend little nun, she does OK because Ping Pho is being unreasonable and Ping Pho is her mother. So like she has dominion over little Nung even though she's an adult, which I don't understand, but here we are. But she's like, it's a big Nung shoots her shot to like actively defend Big Nung, Little Nung when Little Nung is not able to
defend herself in the situation. Because like you said, Big Nung actually talks to her so little if she knows that little Nung feels strange to her mother. She's like this person has never been there for me. I don't even like her. But the person she feels closest to is Big Nun who's literally there for her every single day except when they're fighting or whatever, which is hilarious, but whatever.
And this is just one example of Big Nun using her status quote as the adult who has authority to talk back to Pinfa and call her out for acting like a stranger towards her own daughter. Cuz like everything you're just thinking. And I'm like, she's like, you don't even know her. Like, what is this? And to your point, the big the big thing was like, did you ever come back? And like we kind of wanted this, But like something else I want to add is it's like Pinfa.
Girl, it's been 20 years. We have cell phones now and FaceTime and computers with the Internet. And you're telling me that like you have no relationship whatsoever with your daughter? Like you don't even send gifts to each other? Like what is this? Like, yes, I understand that you maybe can't come back to Thailand, but like, how have they not established some kind
of relationship? Like she could text her daughter directly outside of the grandmother's sphere of control and like start a relationship with her daughter, but that never that's the part that's weird for me. I'm like, you never tried to communicate with her using all the aspects of technology that we had even just like texting her. Yeah, that's weird. Like she has her own cell phone. It's not like the grandmother's like no little known, you can't have a cell phone.
She has her own cell phone. Like you could talk directly to her, but we're not even there. Which is. Yeah, like she's not even weird. Little Nung isn't. Closed off to the world. It's not like she had no way to communicate with her and for everyone. GIFs as in GIF not GIFT 'cause it just sounds like GIFs sometimes. So yeah, not not for people.
Yeah, yeah. And so like why so I think either like you said, it could be just like Pink foot just wasn't ready to be a mother and just abdicated that duty and was like, fuck it, I'm free, which I don't really think is the case. Maybe when she was younger and was a child perhaps, but I think more likely the grandmother just forbid probably forbade her from talking to her own daughter because she was like, I'm raising her. I don't want you to influence
her. You're trash because the grandmother still treats pink felt like she's trash and she's like 36 like this is like their relationship is super fucked up. So I wonder if you like really like the grandmother's control went all the way to that. And like Ping Pho is still clearly afraid of her. Like you, you see it in like a later scene. I'm jumping ahead to the the dinner scene later, but it says a lot about their relationship like Ping Pho like shuts down around her mother.
So I wonder if that was really like the grandmother had such a control over her even now that she's like is afraid to contact little nun or maybe like maybe Ping Pho really does feel like maybe I am a bad influence. Either way, Nong is big. Nong is always like a crap what if what if what I want is going to make little numb worse in the long run. I wonder if Pingva had the same thoughts where she's like maybe I will influence her in a bad way and she'll struggle like I
did. Like that also could be in her brain. I don't know. I'm wondering if because Big Numb was Pingva and I feel like always has been her idol. I mean, look at Big Numb like she was in love with her. So Big Nung told her to not let this child get in the way of her succeeding in life. So she probably didn't even try to fight when she was younger for Little Nung because these words were in her head. That's a really good point. You know what? This is all Big Nung's fault. This is all Big.
No, it's still the grandmother's fault. They are, but primarily. But you're right, you're right, Big Nun was not helping. You're right, that could also have been in her brain. You're right, Ping Pho had to do a lot of growing and rewiring when she was away to even come back right now. So, I mean, there is credit to give to Ping Pho this right now. And again, she's not going about this the right way. The more we talk about Ping Fah,
it's like. She. Is a lot more complicated of a character than Chet. Yes, absolutely, absolutely. Chet's not complicated at all. No, he's just probably why I don't like him. I just ask. But. Ping Fah tries to forbid Big Nung and Little Nung from seeing each other and she uses the word forbid. And I'm like. Has no one read Romeo and Juliet in this world because like the different ends? Well, I know she just forbid people to see each other.
I know and little long has that energy where she has no chill, where she would reenact some of the shit and let's not go there, Let's not go there. We don't need to go there, no, because little dung and then if you go to the Secret of Us, Oh my God, I was just thinking about very similar people that we have seen, and little dung have the same energy. So that comparison scares me. Yeah.
I'm like, if those two were like, Oh my gosh, no, Like we could really just combine those two worlds since they're not actually in the same universe. That's a whole. That's another fan fiction we need to write. We tried. We tried. Anyway, moving on. We'll never get through this episode. We get into fan fiction territory. Yes, there's way too much to talk about. All right, so next scene, Little Nung is opening her present from Big Nung and it looks like a black cat. Stuffy.
Yeah. And I feel like this is the perfect gift from Big Nung because it encompasses Big Nung's personality. And I mentioned it earlier when little I said Little Nung was a sad puppy and then Big Nung was black cat. So Big Nung has black cat energy. So if you give a black cat to Little Nung is like basically giving herself to her. And it's something. That Little Nung can hug and hold on to when she's missing her and just provide her comfort when Big Nung's not able to be there.
And it's really cute. OK, yes to all of that. I need to add though 'cause it's even more meta than that. OK, so why the stuffed animal 'cause I agree, I think Black Cat is not. It's Nung. She gave her herself as a stuffed animal. But why is stuffed animal? Because Big Nung knows Little Nung is lonely, especially when she's at home with her grandmother. Let us all recall the first episode. Don't you have someone to hug at home? So.
And she doesn't. So Big Nun gave her something she could hug when she's at home and there's no one to hug her, 'cause Nung filed that shit away. And she's like, OK, that's what you need, let me give you what you need. And now I'm crying, 'cause that's really sweet, That's really cute. It's really cute. Big nung. Is very, very thoughtful and George. Little Nung. I guess no she's not. She is if she cares about you. She expresses that she cares about you through she's like Sam.
Her and Sam both learned actions speak louder than words. Sam to a detriment. If you go watch Gap, none's a better communicator. But like, they both do actions to show that they love people, you know? Yeah, yeah. This was incredibly thoughtful though. Cuz like again, it's just like, this is what she needs when she's at home. Like it could have been a. Drawing of a black cat. But no, it's something that she can hug cuz no one's there to hug her at home. Like, she remembered that she's
like, that's sad. I don't like that. And I can't be there for you all the time. So here a surrogate me. Yeah. We then flashed back to the end of Little Nung's birthday, where I'm surprised that it even evolved into actual cake and presents 'cause I I can't believe she just didn't leave that day, 'cause that's like the amusement park day, right? But remember, this is after Big Nung had the conversation with her and is like, I'm not gonna let you leave.
I don't want you to leave. So she perked up. OK. So she's like, all right, I can do this. Yeah. That's why she was happy in the scene. Lil Nung's parents. Give her like these small bags that kind of look like they should be expensive designer type items Import because yeah sorry my dog. Can't take it cuz. Basically the parents are always just trying to buy her love right? Cuz they're like, look at where it is. Yeah, Big Nung just gives her a simple box.
And you see. Little Nung is like very gracious and accepts her parents gifts but her face just lights up when big Nung gives her this box and you could just tell that this. It's a small. Box It's just different from the other presents and it means the world to her. And she holds it against her heart. She's like, I don't care what this is. It's from you. So it means everything to me. Yeah.
If you watch how she receives all the gifts, like, basically she does the polite thing to her mother in Chet. She like, takes it and bows. But then when she turns around to Nung, she's like, looking everywhere. Like, did you? First of all, she's like, did you even get me anything? And then when Nung turns around to go get it, like, she's like, Oh my God, she got me something. And then when she gets the box, she, like, hugs it and, like,
smiles. And it's again, to your point, she's like, this is the thing I, I value the most. And big nun picks up on this and like kind of gets shy and bashful about it. It's very cute. She's like, I mean, I found it on the floor. Like, who knows where she got that cat I have pictured like the claw machine. Can you just see her with a bunch of quarters like all day one day just trying to get it and she's like, damn it, No, like every time.
Like it was probably at this amusement park where they're like going on rides and she's like, I got to go to the bathroom again. And she's like trying to win a cat out of a. Closet. While they're like in the haunted house. OK, but then this bitch has the audacity to say didn't give me, didn't give a cake to me, but gave me a gift. And like, I don't know if this is like normal for everybody to
give someone cake. I, I think I know what I know what this is odd 'cause we were confused by that when we watched it. But I think what she's upset about is that Big Nung didn't feed her a piece of cake. I think that's what she's saying. Like you didn't give me cake. Like feed it to me 'cause feeding is affection, right? So Little Big Nung didn't feed her a piece of cake, but Big Nung would never do that.
If you watch the way she reacts to food feeding in public, Big Nung reacts like it's porn, like she thinks it's the most intimate thing on earth, like she freaks out. So there's no way she was doing this. But Little Nung's like all right, you. Didn't feed me. In front of the parents. Correct. In front of my parents. Yeah. Big Nung would never. That's it's pornographic in her mind, so she would never. But I think that's what she's saying.
She's like, all right, fine. You didn't feed me first, but you bought me a gift. That's what she's actually saying. Not that you. I don't think people bring individual cakes for the birthday girl. I don't think that's what she's saying. All right, so let's go over just a couple of things from this scene. Also that I kind of wanted to wait. Actually, no. Yeah, I think you already. Said it, I already said it off. OK, cool. This is where I just import my notes in.
Oh yeah, One last thing I wanted to say. OK, about the OK, so we're so cultural thing, so little known when she opens the GIF gift, not now you have to be saying this GIF opens the present. She's doing it in her bedroom. OK. And this is a Eastern versus Western thing when it comes to gift giving. So if you notice when the flashback, when she gets the gift, she just receives them, says thank you and that's it. She doesn't open them, she opens them at home.
And this is like an Eastern versus Western things that's in, that's in Eastern society, that's polite. You're supposed to like thank them and then open the gifts privately. Versus in Western cultures like America, you're expected to open the gift in front of the gift giver and then express how much you like the gift. So like which sucks, which is stupid. And if it's the worst and if you don't and take it home and open
it, that's considered rude. Whereas in like Eastern culture, if she were to just open the box in front of Big Nung, that would be considered rude. So that's why she's like doing this privately, which is kind of sad because like honestly, I think Big Nun would have liked to have seen this reaction, but that's considered rude if she would have done that. So that's why she's like at home doing it.
And it's cute that like you saved this gift for last to open because that's the most special one, which is cute. Can we normalize in the Western culture then just not opening gifts in front of people because it's I get so much anxiety because I'm like, I everything will read on my face. If I don't like something, you will know. And I'm like, I do not want to hurt someone's feelings. Like it's so dumb giver and every yeah, like it's just I'm like, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Well, the reason is it's like it has it comes always comes back to status bullshit. So it's like it's all about because in like in the Western world, it's about the gift giver showing off in front of the other gift givers. Like I got the best gift. Look what I spent on them. Which is why with Chet and the mom notice they're doing that in a subtle way where they're like, I got you Louis Vuitton.
I got you these name brand things and Nung has like unnamed box, like they're doing the same thing without like unwrapping the GIF where they're like, look at how much money I spent on our daughter. Look at how much money that's what they're doing. But it's not put on the receiver of the gift to be like, now I have to act like I give a shit about this gift, you know? Anyway, that would have sucked to have to do that on her birthday.
Also, she would have opened their gifts and be like cute and then freaked out over this cat and everyone were like what the fuck is wrong with her anyway? That would have been actually very funny. If you have done that, who's listening? Who maybe have the eastern culture? I don't know if you. Feel the same way Theora, but you know, like when people. Give you a card and there's. Money in it and you kind of have to pretend like you don't see the money and like actually read
the card. 1st and be like oh thank you. Yes. It's so. Awkward. Present. Giving is weird. It's weird. Anyway, Speaking of weird, yeah, this is. This is next is weird from like what we like pick up on so big. Nun. Is taking out the trash at her apartment. She brings it outside the front part. First of all, the bag is half filled and it looks like there's just like tissue paper in this
trash bag to begin with. OK And there's this one small trash can sitting outside like this entrance area by the entrance like yeah. And I don't think it's always there. I think it's. Only there. And then the the trash can is filled by this one trash bag and like, I don't think that they have a great trash situation for this. Huge. High rise building. I know this. What was this? This is so weird. I mean the risers are trying to get her out by the front, but like this is a terrible trash
situation. Like one person fills up the whole the the communal trash receptacle. It was a terrible idea with like not even full trash bag. I know it doesn't make any sense issue I I have no explanation for it. No this every time I see this I'm like why? What's up with this property manager anyway? Not important to the scene, but that I every time it stands out to me. Full take away. Of the scene, but.
It bothers me every time. OK, so the real reason we're here is that Sam shows up, kidnaps Big Nung, and then brings her to the mob boss. This translates to Sam tricks Nung into seeing the grandma. The grandma by telling her that she's going to take her out for a meal. Because that's how you turn the big nun into seeing somebody food. But how she does it is not sneaky at all. Like Sam's trying to be real brief and be like, let's go have food. And Nung's like, what? And she's like food.
And she's like, I already reserved the restaurant and everything. I'm not giving you any more details than this. And Big Nung is understandably suspicious of this. And she's like, you want to go have food and let you look at Sam, like Sam is like dressed to the nines and sounds like. And I was like, OK, well, if you want to go right now, I'm going to go in this lesbian get up. I'm wearing since it's just the two of us, That's it. It's totally normal and fine. Like let's go do this.
And Sam's like. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Because she's bringing her to the grand man. So then Nong shows up in said lesbian get up to see the grandmother at this fancy restaurant and it's like they booked when Sam said she made a reservation, she like booked out the top floor of this entire restaurant. Like they have like you see those other seats in this area like they're just like that room is ours for three of us and look at non status.
I don't know. Big nun looks very dressed up to me. She looks great. This is one of my favorite outfits she ever wears. She. Looks great. She's crazy. She does. She looks fine. Let's just take a minute to stare at her. I wish we could take a whole minute, but we do have to keep going. We should go back and rewatch this episode.
This outfit is top tier. OK, so while they're eating something that I notice, they all do get individual plates to put food on because all of the food is community, but Big Dong is just eating off of the community plates instead of actually putting it on her own plate. Oh, she's being extremely rude in this scenario because she's like, you brought me here under false precedences. You wanted me to eat. I'm just going to eat. And so The thing is, remember, head of the table has to start
the meal. She's the only one eating. She starts the meal, which is extremely rude. The grandmam is supposed to start the meal and they're supposed to wait until she eats. She just digs in. She's the only one with stuff on her plate and she's picking out of the communal bowls. Nobody else is eating. Like she's being super rude because she's pissed off that Sam tricked her into this. Damn.
I mean, rightfully so because like Sam knows that she does not want to see her and Sam will not take no for an answer. That is how they're raised to like that. And also like, but also Big Nung is doing this to provoke the grand man. She's doing this on purpose because the grandma would be like, don't you have manners and shit? Because she's being not polite right now and she knows that that will piss off her grandmother and that's what she's trying.
She shouldn't piss her off. Also, she's like food. I want food. She's also very hungry. I also love the part where she tries to get the melon and the prosciutto and like, can't I? I think Faye just couldn't get the melon. She's like, fuck it, I'll just eat the ham. It's really funny. I was like, damn, you tried to spear that and just did it not work and she just went with it. It was really funny. I didn't notice that. That's funny.
OK, but the grandmother, The grand ma'am, because we do call the other grandmother grandmother. So the grandma, she's the grand ma'am. If you're not, if you're not familiar with why we keep doing this, it's from GAP. It's because she's a grand ma'am. Because not only is she a grandmother, she just like has crazy amounts of status and acts like she does so like she's a grand ma'am. That's how we get her name. Yeah. It took us to the fifth episode to explain that to anybody who
has not watched our voice. I mean, gap coverage, right? Because there there is a whole reason. I believe there's a reason I got Grand Bam from somewhere else, The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, which is The Hunger Games prequel. Like Coriolanus calls his grandmother that because of this exact reason. She's like this high status woman and his grandmother. So him and his cousin call her the grandma. And I was like, that is the perfect description of Sam and
Nung's grandmother. So I just went with that. That way you can distinguish multiple grandmothers in the chef. She's the grand ma'am. Thank you to everybody who's hanging in there with us for us calling Grand ma'am Little. Nung big nung. Thank you anyway. So the grand ma'am asks, breaks up big Nung eating and asks if she's gone back to her relationship with Chet. No, no, basically like, no, he was just there. I brought him because I ran into
him. I have no feelings whatsoever for this dude, which makes the grand man get down to the game at all. And she confronts Big Nung about having feelings for a little Nung because she's like, I got eyes. Wait. But I love how she I love how she gets into this though, because she's like, oh, interesting. I thought you were there to confront someone named Peeli, which I think is little Nung's grandmother's name.
Or, or she says like you were there to prove yourself worthy basically to little Nung's grandmother. That's what she says. She's like, that's why you were there. That bitch that couldn't even see you were royalty or trying to prove yourself to that bitch. And then she's like, because you like the girl, isn't it? And then she gets it, the little So I like that she already knew
like exactly why Nung was there. Nung was there to fight little Nung's grandmother and she calls her out on that specifically. And I was like, damn, she still has her FBI agents. Also, she has eyes. Like you said, she's like bitching at eyes. Like what was this the grandmoms like? Because Big Nung's worried that Sam's the one who told her. This is like the worst thing that Sam could have done to her if this is what happened.
And the. Grandma knows this as well, so she's like, don't worry, Sam didn't tell, didn't tell me. But you hugged a little nung and I have I as an excellent gaydar and like 20 other people saw, so I got witnesses. I got witnesses but I the the. Grandparent really does have excellent gaydar. And my theory is that the excellent gaydar was a gift from all the lesbian ghosts that live in the palace. Yeah. Also, she's seen this film before, and she doesn't like the
dead. And like, no, you're just out here snitching on yourself, cussing. But I do love the fact that she's like, damn it, Sam. And the grandma was like, it wasn't Sam, bitch. Look at how he's here. Look at what you're wearing. Look at you. And I was like, I guess, OK. But this is the part of the conversation that gets really interesting because again, like, here's somebody calling her out on her feelings for a little nun. And usually she evades the question runs away.
But she doesn't here. She she doesn't do either of those things. She challenges the grandma on this instead. She's like, So what if I have feelings for her? Like she challenges her grandmother and like almost like owns it, which is not what she normally does, which is a contrast to kind of like later in the series where a little nuns family starts putting this together. And like Nung does not take this route that she's doing now or she's challenging back.
So I think that's an important distinction with her family. She's willing to like own her feelings a little bit more and be more direct and like, I guess fight for it is a good way to put it. But like because later when it comes to like Little Nung's family, figuring out big Nung cowers a little bit more and like lets them beat her up. Whereas like here she's like, fuck this. I'm like, I'm gonna do gloves off rings off all baby, let's go kind of thing. Because in this conversation, I
said, go ahead. She doesn't feel guilty right now. She feels guilty because of how she's supposed to be a role model for Little Nung in Little Nung's family's. Eyes. Yes, that that number one, but #2 along the same lines is that in this conversation with the grand Man, the only person who's feeling slash honor is at stake is hers and not little nuns. So big Nung is more reckless when it's only her neck on the line, but when it's little nuns in the crossfire, she's a lot
more cautious. So I'm talking like way later, like towards the end of the series when they like actually are like fuck, you guys are dating. That's when she's like way more cautious about this stuff and is less guns blazing because like little nuns in the crossfire. So to me, that kind of shows me a few things. Like one Big Nun is not afraid to stand up for what she believes in, which is kind of like a hallmark of her
character. Yeah, she's like in her head about the consequences and like, what's the best route? But she will stand up for what she believes and when push comes to shove, more importantly, the second point is that Big Nun thinks way less of herself than she then little nuns.
Like she does put Little Nung in a bit of a pedestal in her mind, meaning as evident in this conversation, I think she's more willing to risk her relationship with her family over this relationship, but she's not willing to risk Little Nun's relationship with her own family, which becomes evident.
The way the way she navigates the different families is very interesting and it really shows you like where Big Nun's head is at when it comes to like herself and how she sees herself versus how she views Little Nun. So I keep saying I think she has some like self deprecating thing going on. I think it's pretty. This scene kind of hints at
this. The Grand Man also points out something else that's interesting that's going on here because she's like, you seem to be putting a lot of effort into this girl and you don't put effort into anything. I tried to get you to like you so many things and you fought me tooth and nail. But here you are. You showed up in Taylor Swift's dress to confront some woman because of a girl. Like, what the fuck was this? I can't get you to go to like any kind of event and that's
what you put your effort into. So I think the grandma is a little offended and concerned. She's like, what is this? Because this is an important distinction because where the Grand Man and Nung parted ways, it's when Big Nung was acting selfishly, meaning she was like fuck my family I need to do what's best for me. I'm leaving. I don't care what you think grandma and the grand man knows that like big Numb will not put effort into anything unless it
benefits her. Hence why she's dressed like this lesbian artist. Get up at the dinner with the grandmother. She's like, you can't even bother to put on normal clothes to come see me, like but you'll wear Taylor such dressed for this girl like, you know, I mean, to be fair, she didn't know she was. Gonna see her. But I feel like she would have dressed down even more. She did. But yeah, Yeah, No, for sure. But I think like the perceptionist, like Sam was taking you out to dinner.
Why weren't you wearing better clothes to go out to dinner with your sister? I think that's also concerning. She's like, you go like this with Sam. What the hell? So I think that this whole thing is very alarming to the Grand Man because no one is doing something to benefit somebody else, which the Grand Man has not seen her do. So she's like, what the something big is happening and I'm out of the loop of your life and this seems improper and what the fuck is happening?
And that's what she harps on. She's like the impropriety of it all. Big nun, think of your status. And that's what infuriates big numb because she's taking this as like a personal attack on her choices yet again, the way like when she wanted to do painting and the grand man attacked her. So she's like, you already think I'm trash grand man. What's one more indiscretion? Like really, what is one more
like, look at me? And I hate that again, like in the in the conversation, it sounds like she's like dating a woman is this bad thing. So I love that the grand man clears that up and she's like, listen, I don't care that she's a woman. Like I made peace with the fact that my granddaughters were triple sapphic threats a long time ago. She's like, it's not about that. Look at Sam and Mon. I got over it. It's not about that. It's the fact that she's lower
class than you. There's there's some hills the grand man is like willing to die on no matter what. She's like lesbianism, whatever. Think of the ML. Titles What the? Fuck and like like Mon yes, but mine I don't exactly. I'm a little confused. I mean, Nung's the air. I think that's the problem. She's still the air. I think the Gray man was just Nung. I thought she just kind of like I thought that Sam became the air she did.
But I think in her well, now that Nung is back in the circle because remember she cut ties with them. So Nung was gone, gone. Now Sam has real Nung back into the family and the grandma was holding out hope that I can get my my, my, my perfect, perfect spitting image of me granddaughter back. Like I think she had the spark of hope when she saw her at the birthday party for the school. And she's like, thank God, OK, I wasn't delusional.
Look at you, you are perfect. And then she's doing all this shit. She's like. Fucking God damn it. We got to fix this now, Nung, what the fuck? Don't lower yourself. And the look on Nung's face is really tragic, like she looks so hurt by this because again, what Big Nung and Little Nung have in common is they both want acceptance for who they are. Big Nung more than anybody. That is partially why she left the palace. And Big Nung wants it from her
grandmother the most. And she's constantly denied that. And I think this is partially why she empathizes with Little Nung so much. They, I think the two of them really connect on this particular point. And I think this moment with the grand man really hurts her because Big Nung ran away because she was rejected for who she is. And then she's like, I'm going to get out there and prove
again, why did she leave? I'm trying to prove on some level that she's worthy to her grandmother to be like, I can do this on my own. I can live a happy life. But in this conversation the grand name invalidates every single fucking thing that she does and basically tells her like your your only worth is the one assigned to you at birth, which is like the worth that the grand man recognizes. She's like I just see the title and the spinning image of what you look like and how you behave.
I don't care what you accomplished outside of that. I don't care what you want like and it just pour nun like that's what that's what she desperately wants. I feel like in this conversation, this is when I get a good contrast to Ping FA. Like Big Nung reverts into an angry teenager when she's around her grandmother because she's constantly denied that acceptance too. And like same thing with Ping Pho. Ping Pho is denied acceptance from her mother, her mother.
And it's like This is why we need therapists. This show like these poor women, they're constantly being like traumatized and denied like real affection, like unconditional affection. It's always conditional and it's like which means that they don't really know how to react, act in other relationships because they're not they have never been taught a healthy relationship. Yeah, in any aspect, right.
That's why Sam and Nung are such a disastrous when it comes to dating because like this trauma becomes generational. Exactly like you said, Caitlyn. Cuz then they're like, I have never seen a healthy relationship in my life. What is that? I don't know her. I don't know her, but this screenshot that you have of Big Nung's face, I just wanted to take a moment to appreciate the lighting in this scene. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because it is perfectly lit. Because you see, I'm gonna use some terms and I'll try to do it, actually explain it. So you have the key light, which is like slightly off camera on the one side of her face, but they don't have a fell light. So it creates a more dramatic shadow because this is a dramatic situation. But then you get this backlight that like, perfectly outlines her head. Yeah. And it's just lit. It's just beautiful. It's also big.
Also, can I also maybe it does make her hotter because you can see her and this is the most flattering angle possible because the lighting is perfect, but also you can't see the lighting source. And that's that's what we really appreciate about blank. I do you don't know where the lighting is. I mean, I do because I know exactly how they positioned shit, but I can't see the spotlight in the frame. Like even when we're at the
palace. They should prove that you did not have to see the spotlight on the grand man in GAP. You did not. No, they made choices in GAP when I gave him to the lighting that were hilarious and unnecessary. Yeah, you're right, the lighting is perfect. I mean, also thank you for choosing to perfectly light a big non the scene because I mean, just look at her. Hang that in the loof. This is the new Mona Lisa. She's not smiling, though. There's no debate over that anyway.
No, but the gayness follows you. So the big the big nun thing. Big Nun reminds the great man that she is no longer under her control, and then the grandma ma'am tells her born as a swan, you must act like a swan. I love the swan. Yes, I figured you would And it that's why it. I thought more about 'cause I'm like, this sounds like a line that theor is gonna love. I do love it. So I thought about it a little bit and it's basically Big Nun can escape the role that she was born into.
Yeah, and ultimately she doesn't really like. She is trying to run from it, but in the end, she there's like, money Palace, OK, She falls right back into it. Like you know, there's just one aspect that need to be taken. Care of first. I agree. I mean, but yeah, I agree. And then Nung, big Nung, we can just say Nung in the scene, I guess. I know Nung Nung decides to bring up something that she knows will hurt the grand man. And she asks.
Yeah, Yeah. She asks her if she even regrets what happened to Song Thing. Yeah. And then tells her that she destroyed two of her granddaughter's lives, so she's fully putting everything on her. And, like, to be fair, yes, I mean, the grandma and her. I have a little argument going on about whose fault it actually is that about Song. But that's a different story. So I think this is the thing that Nung is really upset about.
Like, this is it. Like, yeah, she fights with the grandmother about her choices and shit, but the thing that she's really upset about and the thing that is still driving the wedge between them is this. And what? Nung asks her. She says, do you regret that? Do you feel any remorse over what happened to Song, over what happened to me, The role you played? That's what she's actually upset about, what she's trying.
She's trying to get the grandma to admit that she played a role in ruin and running her out of the palace and Song's death. But here's the deal. Just like the Nung and the Grand Man both share extreme stubbornness because the Grand Man never admits this to Nung. She never says I'm sorry, she never says any of this. She just is always like, let's move past it without talking about it.
And Nung's like, we need to fucking talk about this because this is the actual problem between us and just like, and the way Nung is being stubborn and Sam's like, wow, Nung, you're being real stubborn. The grand man is also being extremely fucking stubborn about this. And she just digs her heels in and refuses to ever acknowledge this and refuses to have this conversation with Nung.
Like it highlights how similar the two of them really is and how this was never going to get resolved unless one of them caves and nobody ever caves because like this is a valid thing for Nung to be upset about. Like it is kind of unreasonable for the grand man to be like, no, we need to just move past this and have meals before I die and bignum's like you need to say you're sorry to me and apologize to the ghost of my sister, who you also can't like
played a role in her death. Like the grand man never gives her that. And like that is not Nung's fault. This is not Nung's fault that the grand man also will not concede this point about and or even have any kind of conversation about songs. She refuses to engage in the song discussion. The grand man just tries to move past it. This is super messed up from the grandmother. That's something to remember as well 'cause it's very easy to watch this and be like Nung just hear her out.
Just like she's old, like, do that. And like, that's what people do in real life as well. Yeah, but there are two people in the situation, and it's not unreasonable to expect both of them to give something. Yeah. And the most the grand man is willing to give is when Sam tries to stop Nung from saying all these things because she's like, you're gonna hurt her. Like you don't need this. There's no reason to bring this
up right now. But the grand ma'am stop Sam and tells her to let her get it out of her system, right? Which is also avoided. She's like, no, just let Nung say everything she needs to say and then she'll feel better and we can move past this. But she's like, Nung is doing this because she needs to hear it from you. And you're denying her again, the thing that she needs. That's not healthy. Like you could easily have the conversation and be like, just say how you feel either way.
And I think none would be pretty satisfied with just the conversation. But the grand man refuses to even get rid of that. So when the and the grandmother in this conversation is just like one day none, you're going to realize that this petty argument we're having is all pointless. It's like, but it's like, OK, but also great man. You're not taking your own advice because you could easily just listen to none and get past your grudge against her and then we could be a happy family
again. Like why is it on Nung to do this? Like you could also do this because if this is such a pointless argument, have the conversation with Nung and this would all be done. But instead she basically calls Nung a failure who mooches off of her sister and she's like, you're not some success story. You're just a failure like like And then Nung storms off and it's like. And you wonder why like. You're just you're being toxic towards her yet again, not
listening to her. And it's like it's super frustrating to watch these two because I mean, they're they're very similar and they're just butting heads. But like the grand man does not listen to Nong at all. Like she's not listening to her. She's just, it's like the way Lil Long's family is treating her. I'm not listening to you. I'm still trying to impose the grandma's trying to impose what she wants. She's like, let's have dinner, let's be a happy family.
And I was like, I need these things from you. And the grandma's like, no, that's stupid. Let's keep doing what I want. Like that's this conversation. And it's like. And the only person. Who? Sorry go ahead. I was gonna say the only the only person who like is like, OK, grandmother, whatever you want is Sam, which is why they still have a relationship because Sam caves a lot more easily. Whereas nuns like this is harming me and this is toxic to me.
Like I need this from you. If you're not going to give me the conversation, I'm not going to sit here and be made be called a failure and be put down. Like I'm not 16 anymore. I am leaving, Yeah. Sam is more the person who is like, I will do whatever it needs to keep my family together, which, I mean, it's not wrong. Like, that's what she values. And if she wants to live her life like that, that's fine. But it is stressful when you're trying to keep people together.
And those, like, I don't want to deal with this. Like I can be so much happier without all this stupid stress. Right. So why deal with it, right? And it's stress that's like out of her control because again, the thing that Nung needs is for her grandmother to talk about song and talk about what happened and she's being denied that constantly. She's like, why do I keep coming back here? This is an endless cycle of toxicity. Absolutely not.
And like Sam's approach, we saw the consequences of that. Just go watch gap. Like it completely infected her relationship with her friends, her relationship with Mon. Like it was very toxic for Sam and it bleed into all the aspects of her life. So like, there's no winning in
this situation. Like there's just they, these sisters took two different approaches to this toxic environment they were in. And these are the stories of how that all played out and like how it did affect their relationships and how it did traumatize both of them, you know, so. And. Basically, this whole thing ends with Big Nung saying that she never regretted leaving the palace. Yeah, I was. Judging by this whole conversation, I see why. And she leaves after getting a
phone call, but we'll get there. Yeah. I just want to say about that line. She doesn't regret leaving the palace. I think that's in 100% true. I think Nung does not regret that one one bit. I think she does. She doesn't love the relationship she now has with her grandmother. And again, it's not a one sided thing, like there's some mutual shit going on with the two of them. But I, I don't, I think extricating herself from that environment, like she felt that
that was right. She felt she had to do it. But I think she does recognize the consequences that happened with that, particularly with Song. And I think she she feels really guilty about Song. And I think that's why she wants to talk to the grandmother about it, to be like, don't you feel guilty? I feel guilty. I think that's she wants somebody to talk to who understands her guilt.
That's the other thing too, you know, yeah, this kind of goes back to the thing where she's like, why aren't you angry with me to check? Because she's angry with herself. Exactly. She the only thing she regrets is being in this situation. She doesn't regret her actions, but she hates that this is where she is. Like she would.
I fully believe that she would love to have her whole family together, of course, but she'd have to have, you know, like a normal ish family who can actually talk to each other. Yeah, I know. And she says it in this scene when Sam tries to intervene and she's like, no, Sam. She's like if the grant, if the grandma would just talk about this and say she regrets this too, we could be normal, but now we can't be normal like that. She says exactly.
She does say that in the scene. She's like, that is the problem, Sam, like, and it's not on me to fix this. Like you have to help me fix this grandma, because you played a role in all of this. Like, and we need we as a family need to talk about that because if we don't, we can't be normal. We can't otherwise we're a fake family. Like that is what Nung is saying. She's like, I don't want a fake family. I don't want to pretend when I'm at home.
Like no, I want a real relationship with people and like, if you're not going to be real with me, what is this? So this is totally valid. What she's what she's doing, but but The thing is like with her the her regret over Song, there really is nobody she can talk to about this because she normally she talks to Sam. Sam does not understand this because Sam was the baby. Sam is not the like Song's demise had nothing to do with Sam.
So like Sam can't understand this the way like the grand man could understand Nog in this situation, because their actions did lead to Song's death. You know, it did. It played a role like song. We don't know enough about songs. She probably had other shit going on mentally, but this didn't help and the two of them set up the situation for her to fail basically. And that's the only person. That we're not saying that. They're the reason why this happened.
No, it is still Song's decision, Correct all that. It was just actions that contributed to being overwhelmed right and that's my mind of songs mental health, correct Yeah, exactly. They, they put, they ended up putting way too much pressure on her by their decisions that they made. But like it was the two of them,
like Sam was not involved. So like, I think that's the other thing Nong is being robbed of is like somebody she could legitimately talk to about this and have a discussion about it. Cuz like you said, Caitlin, if they talk about it and they're like, well, song was deteriorating was more than that. Like if there were signs before that, like the Green Man was watching all of them, like it was the older one, it could have been like, well, I saw the sign
longer than that. It wasn't just us like that. I think that would help Nong to talk that out with the grand man, but she's denied of that basically which is really sad. Anyway, sorry for the rant. Just like it's complicated what happens with these guys and it's just, it's not one. Nobody's right, nobody's wrong. It's just like there's different approaches to how they came about this family thing. Let's get to the more uncomfortable scene, though. I hate this scene. This.
Scene is seed. I don't why are we here? Literally why are we here so. Enjoy Brooklyn. Little Nung is shopping at the mall with Ping Pho against her will, Yes. So Ping Pho is like, pick out anything you want, I will buy anything because again, the parents only know how to buy love. And Little Nung eventually says that I don't want a dress. Like I don't need anything. But ping pho picks.
Out stuff already because you know she's trying to dress her daughter like she is five and she tells little Nung to try it on so this. Is the why are we here? Oh my God, yes. Why are we here? Oh my. God ping pho is. Trying to pressure little Nung into trying stuff on in front of her when little Nung is visibly uncomfortable and says no multiple times that she does not want to enter the same dressing room. She's like, I can do this on my
own. Like first of all, she probably doesn't even want to try it on in general. Trying on clothes is so exhausting anyway. Yeah. And also like, if you look at the clothes Ping foot picked out, they are not her style at all. So at first Lil Long thinks pink was buying clothes for herself and she's like, if you want to buy stuff, that's fine. And then she's like, no, no,
these are for you. And she's like, I would never wear this ever You. It's like indicating she really doesn't know Lil Long and she's just she's doing what like she would want as a kid. And I guess she's like, I would love I love when my mom used to buy me clothes. Let me try and do that. But it's like you don't. You didn't let her pick anything out. You're not listening to her, like you said. And then in this scene, it's like, Pinkfa, you've been living
in America for 20 years. You should be able to pick up on social clues like stranger danger. That's like, like, how, how did you not pick this up? Like, she's so uncomfortable right now and we're just gonna ignore. Like, come on now, girl. You've been in the West. Like, this is clearly not OK. But also like what a great parent like this is basically sexual abuse. It does read that way. It makes me so uncomfortable. This is the most awkward mother
daughter bonding I've ever seen. I'm uncomfortable. Yeah. So obviously little nun runs away, rightfully so because stranger danger. She doesn't know you. No, also, I don't is the whole thing is changing in front of her. Yes. She's a stranger, though. Imagine like having to get on as a 20 year old, having to get undressed in front of this woman you don't know. Like, it's weird. I get they're related, but it's still weird. She's so insistent on it because
she's like, come on, let's bond. It's just yeah, no, no, no, no. Had every right to run away. Yes. Good for you, girl. All right, so back to big Nung. She gets a phone call and I'm. Assuming that it's ping FA. Telling Big Nung that Little Nung is missing and that the everyone's worried, correct? That's why she panics and gets out of that. And they're like dinner. Big Nung will know. Big Nung can help because you know she's a Little Nung Whisperer. She's, Oh yeah, she's the only one.
Who like actually cares about Little Nung and to know like where she could be? So Big Nung goes exactly where Little Nung is. Big Nung studio because that's her safe space. I mean, yes, Big Nung is her safe space, but that studio was the original safe space. That's where she would go to escape the tutoring center and her grandmother's. Control. Basically, yeah. So you gotta love multiple
things in the scene. First of all Big Nung knew this and didn't tell Pink FA she was like she hangs up the phone. First of all, I love how she answers the phone. She's like what in front of her grandmother? She doesn't say hi to Pink but she's just like what Pink but starts talking. She doesn't say anything it's just like what? And then hangs up like doesn't even tell her a goddamn thing because she's very worried. That's partially why it also like the respect she does not
give Pink butt is funny. So when we see her enter the market, I remember later in like season 2 or big this big little one does this again and big ones like I called you 40 times. I believe it because you watch her in the scene. She calls at least three times when she takes like 10 steps, like she's calling little non-stop and like she calls and it goes to voicemail and then she calls her again and it goes to voicemail. She's doing it over and over
again. And so she heads straight to the stall to which also I don't understand this because she's did she think little long was in the the locked studio? I wasn't sure what she was doing. I think she was just going to sit there and wait for her would have made more sense. But I was like. I wonder if she. Had a key made for a little known. Oh, my God. She like, met the grandmother for the first time, which is like, here, this is your safe spot here, you can't move in.
But here's a key to my art studio. Yeah, I mean, maybe, but yeah. So she looks worried as fuck. Here's what I love in the scene also. So she goes to unlock the stall to go inside of it, and then like she's facing like away and freezes. Like she senses little nun coming. It's interesting. And then she turns around and she's there like little nun doesn't say anything to her. It's really interesting the way this goes down. It's almost like she senses that she's nearby, which is love that
then little. And then she like you hear and see her release this giant sigh of relief. And she's like, why did you turn your phone off? Everyone is worried. That's how she phrases it. And little mom's like, I don't give a fuck if my family can't talk to me. That's literally the point. Big Nug. And Big Nug's like, I meant me. I was worried about you and I couldn't call you. I don't give a fuck about your family either.
And Little Nug, Little Nug has this moment where she like, is like, oh, she's worried about me. And it's kind of like a minor win for her. But I don't think in Little Nung's brain, I don't think she ever considered that Big Nung would try to contact her or be worried when she couldn't get a hold of her. And like, understandably, because Big Nung is so guarded with her feelings that Little Nung doesn't comprehend at this stage the depth of Big Nung's feelings, obviously.
But in this moment, Little Nung can clearly see for herself what happens with Big Nung when she quote disappears. Like Big Nung gets worried as fuck and try it blows up her phone immediately. That's love, bitch. That's one way to get her OK. Then Little then Big Nung pulls her away and Little's like I don't want to go, where are we going? Big Nung says nothing. And then we cut over to Part 2. So Part 2 opens with an awkward family dinner at Little Monk's. Why are we having the dinner?
I think Big Dong is upset that Little Nung is upset about all the family drama and she's over it. So she took Little Nung directly home, then invited herself to dinner because she wants to have this conversation on Little Nung's behalf. Because she's like, I almost lost her. We can't keep doing this. This is fucked up. She's gonna run away for real. Then no one could get a hold of her. And I can't have that in my life. We're gonna talk like adults, all of us.
Yeah. I was watching this and I was like, how did we get here? Big Nong? This is all Big Nong. You can tell in the scene. OK, now let's talk about the power dynamics evident in the seating arrangement 'cause this will be different than the last time we had a family dinner at LOL Nong's house. So again, Grandma, the grandmother is at the head of the table. That's just where she sits. But now instead of being in the place of honor on the right,
Ping FA is sitting there. So Ping FA is in power here, right? She's the insider again. OK, she's on the right. Little Nung is in her spot on on the left, always and Big Nung is sitting Lex. To Little Nung, she's the outsider. She's being framed as the outsider, which is important for how this goes down. OK, So at first, no one's talking, OK, Which is what makes this awkward because I'm pretty sure the grandmother here runs a real strict dinner table.
And she's like, no one speaks unless I'm speaking. So I'm sure this is normal. OK 'cause like, you know, head of the household controls the dinner conversation. Sure. But what makes this, what makes this interesting is that the person who breaks the silence is big numb. It's like dead silent. And if you watch her, she's like psyching herself up to, like, start this conversation. And she says, I want to talk about Lil Bun. We need to talk about this.
Let's not let the I've seen my family. Let's shit fester. And it ends horribly. We need to talk about this now before the shit gets worse. And she tells Ping Fest straight up, she's like, your daughter does not want to go to America straight up. Yeah. Because Big Nung is advocating for Little Nung in this conversation and knowingly or unknowingly acting like Little Nung's girlfriend in this conversation. It's very chivalrous behavior. And it works in this conversation.
Yeah. But like, in this conversation, Pingova says that Little Nung has no right to decide she doesn't wanna go to the USA And I, we won't reiterate the same conversation we've been having where, like, she's property. But it's just, it's still wild to me that a 21 year old can't decide where she wants to be. Yeah. And like, like we keep saying, Pinko's heart's in the right place. She does want what's best for her more so than she's just trying to straight up control her. Whatever.
What's wild though is the grandmother is like, you're trying to control her. You don't have a right to control her. I have a right to control her. And it's like, why are we fighting over who gets to control the 20 year old or 21 year old? She just had a birthday anyway. Because again, the grandmother's motivation is like, again, she's like, she goes to America. She's gonna be like you. And that's when Ping Pho
immediately. Like the grandmother's tone towards Ping Pho is super disrespectful. Cause like Ping Pho again seat of honor. She's like yells at her like she's a child and she's like this is my right not you're right. I raise that girl by myself. If she goes to America, is she gonna get pregnant like you did? It's basically what she says in this conversation. Poor Ping foe like shrinks in on herself like she's a scared 16 year old girl again and it's not
good webcam. What the fuck don't thumbs up that that was terrible. OK, so while the two heads of household are fighting over who gets to control the 21 year old. Meanwhile, knight in shining armor Big Nung is the only person at this table that wants little Nung to control her own life and make her own choices. Because up until now, the quote, adults have just been conversing about little Nung like she's not there, but big Nung is a is like, how about we ask little
Nung what she wants? Like, because she it's, it's, it's really frustrating because little nun can't speak up in this conversation without big Nung doing this. Big Nung is basically like, here's little Nung, here's the socially acceptable microphone for you to say what you want. Because these two women talk about her like she's not here and she's just like in the corner, like watching these people Duke out. What's gonna happen? One does that even like especially when Chet's there as
well. He's like, he's a Little Nung's not a person to anybody else, right? Right. They're like, I know what's best. I know what's best. And Big Nug's like, how about we ask Little Nun what she thinks about this whole thing that affects her and really only her. It's only her. And literally, we are having this conversation right now because Big Nug made this happen so that Little Nun could say how she feels because no one's
listening to her. And I do love that Little Nung takes the opportunity to say her piece. She's like, I want to stay here. She's like, I mean, you know. And Ping Pho pushes back because again, she was denied a relationship with her daughter and she wants one, which is understandable. And she's trying to like recreate the life they should have had, like mother and daughter living together quote, as it should be. But like, again, you can't turn back time.
This is a reverse for you. We are where we are. Like, it's too late. Little Nung is a fucking adult and we need to move on and create a different kind of relationship. It's just it's too late for that. And thankfully, little Nung expresses how she feels about this. She's like, this is weird. She's she's honestly disappointed that her mother never expressed an interest in her ever. And then out of the blue wants to whisk her away to America. Like they're a perfect family.
And she's like, you're a stranger to me, like, and now you're trying to pretend we're close. Like that is weird and and coming out of nowhere. And then Little Long asks the most heartbreaking question. And unfortunately, she asks multiple times during the show, which is, do you ever think about how I feel? Which is the most valid question, which is what Bing Dong was trying to say is like, how about you listen to her for
a minute? Like, and truly, I don't think anybody in her family ever has considered her feelings about anything. Ever. And the saddest part is, and I think Little Nun knows that's true, like their familial love is expressed very differently. It doesn't include valuing Little Nung's autonomy in any way. Like we've said multiple times. And and she's controlled to a greater degree by the grandmother, by what her mother did.
And again, the only person in this room and in her life that is considerate of her feelings is Big Nung. And Big Nung is making that very clear in this in this dinner in particular. But the other thing I like about this conversation is, OK, everybody's reverting back to their like, power structure dynamics, right? So like, poor little nun is like, see, not her child, Ping. Pho's trying to assert that she's the adult. She's little nun's mom. But then the grandmother's like,
no, I outrank you. You're going to listen to me. And like, she's now the child under her mother's scrutiny. And so like, Ping Pho is almost getting ganged up on a little bit and her mother's not talking to her like an adult. She's talking to her Ping Pho like she's a child.
The only person in this room who talks to everybody like they're an adult is Big Nun. So I like that Big Nun takes a moment to listen to what Ping Pho is saying and then respond to her adult to adult, not treat her like a child because she's like, listen, are you really worried about her schooling? She's like, if you're that's really a valid concern of you, of yours, would it be OK with you if I volunteer to take care
of that? I could use my connections to get her into the one of the best universities in Thailand, like addressing Ping Pho's concern directly versus dismissing Ping Pho, which is what the mom was doing. So I also like that part of this conversation like Nung is also is treating everybody like an adult.
And again, what I love about this particular thing is like this took a lot of courage for her to do and like for big Nung because what she's essentially doing is she's offering to use her influence as ML basically to get Lil Nunga to a big school. And as we've seen this late, she never pulls that card unless it's for a little nug. Like she only pulls rank to help her and and her rank I think is the reason why she as the outsider in this family was able to even start this conversation.
Like she's using everything she can and every card she has to help Little Nung 'cause if she was the starving artist in the lesbian get up that showed up this never would have worked. Like they would have shut her down. I mean they wouldn't let her in the house. So I'm pretty sure off screen she goes and greases a bunch of palms to get little Nung into like the school. And. 'Cause I like, there's a scene later in Season 2 where she's in the school and they're like, do
you want a guest lecture here? I'm like, this is the most random thing I've ever seen in my life. And I'm pretty sure she was going around to these schools being like, you want a donation to you in a library, Like I'll use Sam's money. I guess you got Sam's credit card. Sam's money. I got Sam's credit card. Do you want all these things? And I'm pretty sure that's how they're like, oh, you're back. Nung. In in the big Nung library that we used now have thanks to you big Nung library.
And the other part about this conversation that I really love is that this helps Ping Fu and she's like, listen, like that's great. And I do want those things. But she's like, really what I want most is a relationship with my daughter. And I want to be able to love my daughter like, and that's why I think like she's the most good intentioned out of all the relatives because really she does just want a relationship with her daughter.
She's just trying to control the situation so she can get that. And Big Nun is basically telling her she pushes back and she's like, listen, you can express your love in in in multiple different ways, like by listening to your daughter and letting her have what she wants. That's a way to show that you
love her. And I like that she says this line A to Pingfa to help appease her, but also like, again, snitching on herself because this whole dinner was contrived because of Big Nun's love for Little Nun. Like that's what she's doing right now. She's expressing her love to Little Nun by having this fight on her behalf, essentially. I love it, but Ping Fa's response to big non saying if you really love your daughter,
you must listen to her. It's like that's the way that she can express her love to her daughter. But Ping Fa's response is and who's listening to me? And I dismissed that the first time I watched this. But going back and thinking about it, I feel like this question response is very telling. Because no one. Has ever listened to Ping FA either. Things were always decided for her at least from the little bit that we've known from her past.
Like the grandmother sent her away and even big nun was telling her to get rid of the baby when ping pho was trying trying to tell her that that's not what she wanted to do. She has never had autonomy over her life either. Like the first thing that we know that she got to decide was she's getting married to to some guy in the USA. That's because her mother doesn't care about her anymore. Yeah, exactly. That's a really good point. And like there there. Is a reason why she stayed
overseas and did not come back. Yeah. No, I agree. And that's why I like that Nung does listen to her concerns. And that's why when she rattles off the thing about school, Nung's like, you're really concerned about that. How about I help with that to ease your concern? Like, she's trying to, like, compromise with her. But like, yeah. But you're right. Also, no one listens to her.
Yeah. And like, the grandmother during all this, I can't remember, like, where it is in the scene, and I don't think I've ever written down, But the grandmother is like, fully like, oh, yeah, let big Nung talk because she also wants the little Nung to stay so she can keep her control. Right. Exactly. It's definitely not because she loves her. No, not at all. No, it's about me, Me, me, me. Everybody's me, me, me except big Nun. Big nuns like her, her the the
center of all this conversation. How about her? She's like, I will sacrifice myself. I'll do anything to make sure that this one is happy. That's literally what she's doing in this conversation. You're absolutely correct. OK, so Ping Pho gets triggered like by her jealousy and she's like, why do you love my daughter so much? Big Nong And LOL, Nong's head swivel so fast to look at big Nong.
It's a very fast one. If you watch she's like when did you tell my mother off screen that you loved me? And Pygnong panics like she starts having cardiac arrest and before she answers she does look at little and I'm like oh fuck am I being that obvious by warring with your family members on your behalf? Is my L card showing? Because it definitely is and it's the L without the M card.
And so classically big Nung answers this by not answering this and instead asks Ping FA what the fuck are you talking about? And follows up with how the weird thing about like, well, you should have your own daughter and like, Oh my God, because Nung is panicking. She's like, what do you mean? I love her? I don't, I never said that. And then big and Ping Fa's like, you should have your own daughter if you really want a
daughter that badly. And Nung's like, oh, thank God that's what you think this is. That's not what this is, which makes this weird, but OK, we're off the I'm in romantically love with your daughter daughter train. It's so weird. It's like you're allowed to take anything you want as long as it's not that we're going to end up together right exactly OK, but like OK, she has to like
dodge many L word cards here. I think the one that's saddest is when the grandmother is finally like OK, cool, we're on the same page. I think Lil Nung is going to be set up for success if the the queen is helping her. So I think big Nun, you're a good role model for her. I think little nun will be perfect. I can clearly see that you love my dot, my, you know, granddaughter. I accept this is basically what
she's saying. And I think that initially Nung Big Nung is like pleased that she's getting a bit of acceptance from the grandmother who clearly hates her. But because again, and also it's like I want acceptance from my grandmother and I'm getting it from a grandmother. So there's also that weird thing going on here. But the way she's receiving it in bad faith though, because that acceptance of like you caring for my granddaughter is a
double edged sword thing, right? Because the grandmother says, I see you love my daughter. I mean my granddaughter. Sorry. I feel comfortable with this. The translation of that is I trust you, outsider and big Nung is steady here harboring these feelings she's trying to comprehend for little Nung. And the family is giving her a blank check to be like, do whatever you want. We trust you, which is a huge deal because she is an outsider.
She's not a family member. And the way she had to approach this conversation with Ping FA is basically when she was like, hey, I have an idea. Let me know if you're comfortable with me volunteering to help with your daughter. And the grandmother is basically like, yes, non family member, please. Here's all of our trust to help our, you know, little Nung succeed. So like, that's a huge deal that she's essentially being welcomed into the family decision making. That's a big deal.
And I think that Nung in this moment is kind of like, well, fuck, did I just make the wrong call? Because nobody here understands the depths of her feelings for Little Nung. I mean, I don't think she fully grasps it either quite yet. And I think she knows she's like, if at some point I could easily break this trust because this is more than a role model situation. And I think she just starts feeling super guilty here.
And this starts messing with her thinking, understandably, 'cause she's very torn about this relationship. And like, this is a huge reason why because they're now putting her on this pedestal and she's like, well, shit, part of me wants to, like, destroy the pedestal 'cause I kind of like her. And yeah, it's very, yeah. You can just see the guilt written all over her face. Yeah, this, this has played out for a while.
Like, it gets in the way of her letting herself feel, which is totally understandable because, like, this is not nothing, you know, to navigate. OK, so now Big None is in charge of Little Nuns scholarly achievements. So what happens the next day? I think I have no idea. Little Nung is over at Big Nung's studying. It must be a weekend because she's not in her school uniform, she's just in street clothes. So I don't know what day this is but whatever. They're studying, No, well not
they. Little Nung is supposed to be studying. Big Nung is alone in her art studio because she's stressed. Like she's in there trying to paint and she just keeps sighing and seems hella distracted. Why is she distracted? Because Lil Nung's over and Big Nung is trying to get her shit together.
She has this woman she's falling in love with all alone in her tiny apartment, and this is apparently going to keep happening because now she's in charge of her schooling and her family trusts her to do the right thing, but she wants to do the wrong thing. So she's like freaking out, basically. And side note, in her art studio, there's a guitar. Does Big known play the guitar? We've never seen her play the guitar, but there is a guitar in
her art studio. That was a thing where she's like, I really want to learn to play guitar. And then she bought it, but it doesn't come as easy to her as art did. So she gave it up pretty quickly. But every once in a while, she picks it up. But also, I kind of would also love her to be like, extremely good at it as well. Like randomly. Yeah. And I also sing because you know that big nun we. Have big nun. Also, Faye has a Sings Like an Angel. So yeah, that would be amazing.
But that would be so, so funny because it's because Faye. It's probably Faye's guitar. She's like, I was bored between takes. Put this guitar in here. Honestly, all of those readers correct to me. OK, so Nung is having a real hard time with this painting. So she like, closes her eyes and tries to like center herself, get her here, try to get her shit together 'cause she's an emotional mess. But what happens?
Little Nung happens. So she want is not studying obviously, and wanders into the art studio. And while Big Nung's eyes are closed, she gets here real close and decides to fuck with Big Dung and breathes directly into Big Dung's ear. OK, And I have to point out that in this scene, Little Nun has all the power, and she knows it. And Big Nun's on the defensive, OK? So she knows she's trying to provoke a reaction. So she's watching Big Nun real carefully, who, like, shoots out
of this and is like, oh, dear. And she correctly reads what's going on with Big Nun, because when Big Nun opens her eyes, she's like, oh, you're here. And then her eyes unconsciously drop to Little Nun's lips for a minute and linger. And before she looks away. So little nuns like, got it. And then she's like, tell me right now what you're thinking. Cuz like she just watch all this body language and she's blushing and she's like, what are you thinking about right now?
And big nuns like art, nothing. I don't know. And little nuns like, that's interesting because you're blushing right now and you don't normally blush. I'm fairly certain that big nun has all the tingles in the world right now because she like, crosses her arm and her legs, like trying to like, make herself as small as possible and like, restrict her movements. Like she's physically holding herself back from doing something stupid while this girl
is hovering in her face. Little nun does not make it easy to refuse her. No. Not at all. She's aggressive as fuck. She's respectfully aggressive, but still aggressive in this scene, a little bit respectfully aggressive. She's respectfully aggressive, but she's just like, OK, confirmation that you're into me and I can push your buttons in a sexy way. So her Liu Mung's confidence quadruples, which I didn't even think was possible, but here we
are. And she's like great, you're into me. So tell me about your love life. No preamble to that. She's just like, have you ever been in love before? And big nun plays dumb because, again, I think we're using that word that means multiple things. And she's like, yeah, obviously I have a sister UC and Sam, obviously I love her more than life itself. And she starts to drink a glass of water and little Nun, with her quadrupled confidence, gets real direct.
And she asks about quote, deep love and I'm pretty sure little nung is asking about romance and sex because that explains big nuns reaction, which is choking up her drink. And big nuns like no, I would never have those thoughts or do any of those things with people because no one's worthy of me. I've told you this, I don't like anybody. And Big Nog's response, first of all, is a whole last lie.
It's true. She's never had both romance and asexual relationship, but she's had pieces in that realm. See Doctor Juan Viva and also Chet kind of. Maybe she is like, she knows how to get experience, correct? Yeah, exactly. Just the feelings is a different story. Exactly. It's the feelings that she's never actually had before. But confidence, fuck Little Nog is like, it's me hi on the whole package and you know it. And Big Nong shots. I shut down by flicking her really hard on her head.
She's not cool man. But Lil Nong definitely reminds Big Nong. But she made a promise. She's like listen, I promise to be worthy of you and I'm going to do that no matter what you say. And she huffs out of the room with her head held high and poor Big Nong is a mess and she sits there watching Lil Nong leave and looks. Hopeful. And like longing at her. She's like, she's an emotional mess right now. She's got all the tingles. She's like, I think her brain is so consumed with hormones at
this point. That's why she follows her out of the room. This is a terrible idea. This is a really bad idea to follow her out of this room because I think that Big Nung in this moment is giving into the part of herself that does want to be around Little Nung. That's why they're in her apartment. Not also she's like, I don't got money to keep taking you to cafes. So I think that like the other reason is she's like, I just want to be around you.
And like I keep saying, Big Nung is in her 30s and she's tired of fighting all of these feelings because it's fucking exhausting, OK. And I think what's going on with Big Nung and she gets in this pattern with Little Nung, or she's always like, convinces herself that like, she's like, OK, if I give her just a little bit, she'll be satisfied with that and everything will be totally fine. So I think she's like, we'll go outside and we'll study together
and it's gonna be totally fine. But is it? Is it fine? She's just so naive. Is it? Well, 'cause I think also she hopes it fails. It's one of those things she's like, we tried it and it didn't work. Oh no, anyway, we tried to be frightens. It didn't work. Yeah she's like here folk, a romance. Oh no, you're not into this man because you're a raging lesbian. Oh no, who could have seen that coming? That's one of those not me. No, not me. Me and my lesbian get up big nun
couldn't possibly see that. So. OK, so then they they try to get into the studying and little Nung is like, this is so fucked up shit that like my staying in Thailand is hinging on me passing this exam. So I guess off screen, the deal they struck with Pingfa was that like, if little nun can pass the entrance exam into a university here, a good one, then she can stay. And if she fails, she has to go to America.
So big nun's like, Hey, that should motivate you to study and not read Pluto because that's what she was doing. Long long was like, I don't want to fucking study. I want to read this sapphic book and long and big was like, I get it. But like, if you fail, you're going to leave. I mean, I understand because Pluto looks pretty good and I'm really excited for it. So I understand, let alone I agree. I agree. So big nuns, like, girl, you got it. You got to fucking study.
And she's like, I don't want to study. And big nuns like, OK, if leaving me and Thailand meaning me is not enough of an encouragement for you, she's like, how about when you're done studying, you can do whatever you want. And it's like, I, I think her head was not in the right place when she was saying this. And it's like, those are dangerous words because little Nung's face, do whatever I want, whatever I want, generic noun. She's like, great, let's make out.
That's what I want to do. And like, OK. At this stage, though, little Nung in her quadrupled confidence knows that Big Nung is into her, hence the blushing and all that shit. So she's determined to push this relationship forward. So she's like, listen, it's just a simple quid pro quo. I study and as a reward I get to kiss your cheek. How about that? Leave it to little nun to like always be like propositioning nung for like romance and sex all the time.
This is again respectfully aggressive. What she should have said. Is that you have to kiss my cheek so that way she could turn her face. You know, she should have done that. I agree with you, but she didn't. She's like, I'll kiss you. And Big Nung obviously balks at this because this is a danger zone situation. And then they have this like kind of back and forth where Lil Nung's like, fine, then I'll just go to America, whatever,
whatever. And let's she like, let's Big Nung Stew in that possibility because she knows Big Nung is going to give in to her. Like she knows at this point she understands how to push these buttons. And she can read Big Nung well enough to know be like, she's not going to let me. She went and fought my grandmother. She's not going to let me go to America. And this is so funny.
While Big Nung is like stewing over this, Little Nung keeps looking at Big Nung and she's like try to act all confident, but she keeps checking her out. She's like, she's going to do it. She's enjoying every second of like Big Nung just squirming in silence because it's very rare that Big Nung is on the defensive. Their dynamic is usually the other way around. So like, Little Nung has the upper hand here and she's loving
it as she should. And then I love when they get into this argument about kissing where Little Nung gets dramatic as fuck about it. And she's like, listen, I can earn a PhD and it would mean nothing to me if I couldn't kiss your cheek. And Big Nug's like what the what are you talking about? What does that have to do? What does a PhD have to do with kissing me? And she's like everything because she's basically trying to say like, you're the most important thing in my life.
I can't have you. What the fuck is the point of scholastic success? That's basically what she's trying to say. She's very, very dramatic. It's so funny. And the way she like her eye every the way yoga play. This is hilarious. Like, but just the the drama of this was so funny. But again, no, I'm just trying to be rational. She's like, think of America. You don't want to go there. That's terrible. And little nun's like, well, you know, I guess I'm going to America.
I guess I'm going to America if you want. Let me kiss your cheek or whatever. OK, so this gets Big Nun to the the selfish part where she agreed to help Little Nun by part of the reason she helped her, helps her is to keep her close because she just likes being around her and wants to spend time with her. And she's like, well fuck, if she goes to America, I'm going to lose all of that. And if you don't study, I'm going to lose the trust of everybody.
And this is going to get really, really bad. So it's the prospect of losing Little Nun that motivates Big Nun to agree to this kiss cheeking thing, which she knows she cannot handle, but she's going to try her best to do that. And I think in her brain, she's like, again, she's always conceding just a little bit. She's like, it's just one kiss, it's just one time, everything's going to be fine. Everything's going to be fine.
But like, again, Big Nung is constantly trapped in this pattern where like she tries to withhold advances of their relationship because she's concerned about Little Nung and all that stuff, but Little Nung is constantly dismissing that stuff because she's singularly focused on just having Big Nung all to herself. So when things escalate to the point of losing Little Nun, that's when Big Nun's like, fine, I'll give you just another crumb.
Just one. It's like the book when you give a mouse a cookie, that's this relationship. He's like, here's one more cookie. It'll be fine. You won't want more after that. But then what happens is Little Nun's like, I got one cookie, I can get two from you next time. And that's how this keeps spiraling out of control. This is when you give Little Nung a cookie. That's what this is. They are those like the best. Example. Ever. Isn't it? Is that not their relationship constantly?
Could someone do me a favor because I don't have time to do this. Can someone make a edit of this story and translate it to if you give? Little nun a cheek. Kiss. Yeah, I love. Literally she's a little bit of want to kiss your forehead. If you give her a kiss on the forehead, she's going to want a kiss on the nose. If you give her a kiss on her nose, she's going to want to kiss on her lips. If you give her a kiss on the lips, she's going to want to kiss on the other lips.
And she's going to want to marry you after graduation and move in immediately. No, that's literally the. That's what she's already proposed, like, multiple times. Multiple times. Yeah, OK. Anyway, so Big Nong is stressed the fuck out by this, and Little Nong knows it. Like, she's just, yeah, watching her squirm pro she pretending to read. And then Big Nong's like, fine study. And Little Nong's like, I love what she's like.
Like what? I didn't quite hear you agree to me. I just want to make sure I got your consent. And this is hilarious. She's like study, just study fine. And that which is big non giving consent essentially and little non skips the homework part of the agreement and just jumps. Yeah, I can't. Understand this, like, why is she it's supposed to be transactional. Like she does something and then gets the kiss, but she does it the other way around. And then she's like, oh, wait, I
have more homework. Another kiss, please. Like what? Again, this is you get a mouse, a cookie. That's like, you know, I have to. It's not even like, you don't have to give it to her. Like, it's just like the promise of it. She's gonna want more. Yeah. Immediately. So funny. Yeah, exactly. She does it in reverse. But let's talk about this kiss. We gotta break this down because it happens real fast, but a lot is happening here, OK, So again, keep in mind this kiss a little
like little cheek kiss. There's not even like lips happening. It's more like a scent thing. I don't even know. It's super chase OK, but keep in mind this is the most intimate physical thing they've done to date. And I imagine that this is probably little nuns first kiss period because her upbringing and I think for big nun this is her first kiss with feelings. So in a way, it's a first kiss for both of them, which explains their reactions to it. So let's start with the obvious
one. So first of all, there's little Nung who's smiling and then starts waxing poetic. Immediately she's like, wow, I'm going to be the valedictorian if you keep letting me do this. Which is on brand right for her reaction. Oh, good, Yeah. It's also worth noting after she does this, Little Nung watches Big Nung very very closely because Big Nung is not going to say anything, but her reaction tells you everything you need to know. So let's get to the less obvious
one. So Big Nung being the stoic character, you really need to watch her because her mask of indifference cracks in a spectacular fashion and it's so subtle and quick. I missed it the first time I watched this but big Nun completely loses her shit if you watch her very closely. Like the minute little nun gets into her like makes contact she like her eyebrows shoot up and she her frown softens and it's just the way Faye does it.
It's very subtle but like she's losing her shit and when big and Lil Nun pulls back and starts waxing poetic, her eyes flutter a ton. You see her like swallowing a bunch of like big nuns losing it and trying her hardest to just stay still and be quiet and look ahead. And it's like impossible for her to do. And Lil Nung is watching this happened. She's like, you're being real weird right now.
Pretty sure you're blushing. And she clocks that shit away, which is why she's like when big nuns like I'm not giving you any more than that. And little nuns like you're definitely going to do that later because she watched her reaction and she's like, I can see all of this crumbling and it's glorious. What little nun really needs to study in school is how to become a detective. And. Like do. Like the interrogations, because I feel like she'd be really good
at that. Yeah, that body language expert. I agree. And then the audacity of this woman to be like, oh, I forgot my other. First of all, you didn't do the first homework. What was the first homework? And she's like, oh, I have more homework I forgot about. And she's like, how about your turn? Your turn? She points to her cheek. And Big Long's like, absolutely fucking not. I gave you one cookie. I'm not giving you another cookie. And Long Long's like, you're definitely going to give me
another cookie. I don't care what you say. This is like giving her a cupcake. I know. Yeah. We got to build to the cake she didn't get. Like this is not the same. Thing as a cookie. Because the cookie was kissing Big Nung's cheek right the other way around. Forget it.
So I love when she's being a little asshole and she's like looking for her Thai language homework or whatever the hell she's doing and she she's like I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking and big and big Dong losing her shit starts looking over at little nong like longingly and shit, and then little nong looks back real fast. She's like Ah see it was so funny because you could just the gay panic radiating off of big nong is delicious in the scene
and it's incredible. And so like again, little Nung, I don't even think she does a lick a homework, gets a second kiss after big ones like absolutely not you're never doing that again. 3 seconds later does it again. And like, did we learn anything scholastic? Who the fuck knows? Well, if she passed her exams, we still don't know, but she is a hell of a negotiator. I'll say no. I think little nun's also a good little lawyer. I agree. You have to watch what you say around.
I agree. That's why like later on big and the next thing when big nun's like you should be a lawyer, you really should be. You'd be great at it. She'd. Be good at a lot of things. I know. All right, so let's get into part three. But before we do, we just got a really cool comment for one of our super duper amazing Patreon members. Bree, love you and all your comments about the 1st about gap. This. Oh, my gap. What the fuck? Yeah, flank.
It's because the episode's a bigger gap, which is the better title. All right, About the first series, the first season, which is what we're talking about now. So Bree says, I guess 9 star didn't actually have any sponsors for season one and then gaining sponsors is why they split it into two seasons because the CEO thought they could make this next six episodes with a bigger budget, which is honestly super surprising because season one
was so well done. I wouldn't have known that had like there's doesn't look like much difference between both seasons. I mean the tones a little bit different and there's a lot more birds in season 2. They let the Foley team go. Season, there is not. Many birds in season one, so no. All. Was the sponsor budget? They just got a bunch of birds. I think they got different locations. I mean Faye's wardrobe is top tier.
I don't understand how season one had no money cuz like you were just commenting on the exteller lighting. Yeah like I'm gonna have to look for that Yeah when doing my nose for season 2. Now the birds cuz I'm looking for like when did they decide to split it? Like how soon did they get sponsors that they decided to right was like seasoned. I wanna know more. About the behind, we'll have to. We need to look into that. We need to interview the person who plays Sam. Oh, my God. Yeah.
She was like the COO. Yeah. Yeah, she's yeah, the COO. She's like literally Sam in real life. Like Ice is literally Sam. Yeah. I would love to talk to her. Maybe we could get an interview with her. That would be really cool. I would love to hear her take on all on the Yeah. I really need. This is fascinating. Stop talking about it. I think we're now getting so many people's hopes up. It's going to be hard to get these people in for an interview. Super hard.
I wouldn't blame any of them for asking for money as well. True, because they do so much. So we'll see. We'll see what we can get, but no, I would love to hear about the production. That's a fascinating tip. Thank you, Bree, for telling us that I had no, I wouldn't have never known that season one seriously is so well done. I would have no idea. Like they they nailed it for like having no sponsors. Like, holy crap.
All right, I'm going to be honest, because we did have a few comments on YouTube telling us the same thing that I'm about to say. I like this show more than gap. Same. Personally saying OK. So overall, overall, Gap is super fun. Jim, first of all, Jim's iconic. We bring Jim up constantly like Gap gave us Jim. But I I like. The drama difference in this show I love that floor just catches you off guard like what the hell is episode 4? Literally it's the best thing in the world.
I mean I still haven't never like you're never ready for this. No, never. You're not ready for that ever. Now I just I love their relationship a lot more personally cuz, but the show I feel like is shot better as well. Yeah, it's more like, I know that they were trying to make it artistic in Gap, but this show, just the way it's shot, everything's so natural, where there was like more forced with the filming. I but that's again, my opinion.
Yeah, that I'm not saying that Gap is terrible. No, it's definitely not. I'd prefer this show. It's not terrible. Gap's iconic. Gap is the reason we have these shows. Yes, Gap is very necessary in the history of these series. Yeah, agreed. No, not not knocking gap. I love we literally spent hours talking about gap. We do not hate gap. Gap is super fun. Again, Jim Gap give us Jim. If anything, we have Jim. Jim follows us in every show overall as a show and as this as
the story and the relationship. Again, I just love the fact that they talk like that's my biggest gripe in a lot of shows, period. Not just like timing it, just media in general where it's just like, can you fucking have a conversation and clear this up? Like they they're just, they're very natural around each other. Like everything about it, like you said, the lighting, the progression of it, the timing, like it does catch you off guard. It's every scene.
It's like it's got, it's got a very good blend of like high stakes drama and humor. They balance it really well versus like Gap had the like, it was like the extremes where like you'd be riding high and then like Mons bawling her eyes out at the end and you're just like, it just it was very high highs and lows, lows. Like constantly you're on. I feel like a roller coaster constantly. That show, this show was more like and very like this drama
was the exact same. It was just, it was repetitive. After a while, I was like, Oh my God, Sam, for fuck's sake. Yeah, I felt repetitive. This just talk to each other. Yeah. But like this kind of like I'll point things out where I'm like they end up in cycles too where it is repetitive. But it doesn't. Feel as repetitive to me, the viewer. So it's like, again, I can't predict it in a way where I'm just like, we're gonna end up back at the same situation.
It's gonna play out this way. Like, yeah, this is less. I can't predict it as well 'cause it's like it's more subtle in the way it's done. And I especially love their conversations when they're arguing. And it is kind of like formulaic in a way. But it like isn't by the way they execute it. And so it's, it's different and it's just, yeah, I there's more to it. For me that's like thought provoking. I don't know. I don't. Know if we.
Told our listeners this before or not, or if it was like on a Patreon thing. Our original thing for Blank, I don't even think we were supposed to cover in the beginning. Then it turned into we're going to do a huge like a big overview. One episode they already told me I was going to hate this show. I didn't think it would. And then we started watching it. And then we got to episode 4. And then we squeezed, tried to still do the overview, but then Theora started her notes.
Yeah. And like, I know when I get a text like we're this show might be longer than we thought. I know we're in for another three to four months filming. OK, Well, that's also your fault because the minute you pointed out that little noise, childish behavior was trauma based, I was like, oh shit, you're right. And then I had to rewatch the show, 'cause I was like, without that lens, I was like, this makes me uncomfortable. It's a child and an adult
because of the vibes. But once you explain the trauma part, I was like, oh shit, you're right. And then just explained everything and I was like, that's why this is like, it's not that it's powerful, it's powerful. Yeah, exactly. Anyway, part three is why we love Blank the series. Honestly, I really love this show. I can't even tell you how many times I've seen it at this
point, which I don't know when. The last time I did that with the show actually was Like Gap, I watched a couple times to write that because writing notes was hard. But like, yeah, I've lost count of how many times I've seen this show. It's just Killing Eve or A League of Their Own. Yeah, I've seen this more than both of those shows. Really. Yes, I've I've lost count of how many times VR is very much very much a blanket at this point. Yes, I love this show.
It's far into this show. She she has DMS with people on Instagram that I keep. Getting. Notifications when I'm like, don't open it just in case that her notification goes away, but I keep track of it. It's very sweet. This is why we're here, to become obsessed with shows and then make ourselves even more obsessed while talking about it. Because I never would have given Pink for the time of day until Theora brought stuff up. At this point, I feel like this is a Patreon.
It. Yeah, if honestly, this might end up on Patreon, who knows? All right, let's let's also. And we wouldn't be here if it wasn't for GAP. So, like, not hitting black. I hit GAP. Thank you, everybody who recommended GAP because we're here because because of GAP. So thank you. We didn't know any of these things existed. No, I had no idea. I had no idea and Theor has so much more to watch. Now there's too. Now there's too many. I'm like, God damn it, what am I
supposed to watch these things? No, that's the issue though, because now Theor is bringing me in the things and being like we need to watch this at some point. People want this, but the issue is that studios are now releasing it all at the same time, but not same time, but like only a few weeks difference. And The thing is with Blank, it takes us, it's going to take us like four more than that to cover the show. So it's very hard to do multiple shows.
However, we just did that. We just added The Secret of us. I know. Yeah, here we are. Yeah, here. We I showed up too, filming the reaction. The Secret of us and Theor is like we're terrible. We are terrible. I know I would. Have finished 23 point. Five, we're still doing 23.5 anyway, here we are. So that's a preview of all the things that are about to come out or are coming out. We don't know when this is going
to release. So anyway, part three of the season one of like the series, season one of episode 5, in case you forget, just in part three of season one. Imagine if it was just like four parts of the season one. That. 'D be wild here for days talking about one part. OK, so the nuns are once again walking the streets at night. This is one of the I thought I was going to say that she's walking her home, but I guess
that makes sense. But I thought for some reason that they were having the meal and then I was like, how does that work? But no it. Doesn't make sense if they were at Nung's. I don't know what I was thinking. It's been a long week. All right, so. Big Nung is once again walking Little Nung home, because that's what she's good. At. She's a gentlewoman. She proves that over and over again. Like why she.
She also doesn't trust her to walk herself home because, like, who knows where this girl would end up? It's always laid out when poor little Nung's going home. Like, yeah, it was because she tries to stay out as late as she's the worst. It's true. But while they're. Walking big Nung actually asks little Nung what? Do you want to study? And no, you know, no one's asked her that before No. And little Nung says that she wants to study communication
arts and become ADJ. And I think Fiora, you told me that it translates more to like radio host. I'm. I'm not sure what that actually mean. I think so like a radio host. I think that's what they mean by D. It would make more sense with like the podcast thing, right? That's what I'm thinking. And her listening to radio programs, she means like, yeah, like a voiced actor. Because I could see Big Nung being an actual DJ, correct? Oh my gosh. She little good.
Like no big Nung would be a great DJ. I'm sorry, that would make her even hotter if she was the DJ. I know. Oh my God, I'm chewing you right now and it's really, I know. It's really distracting. Why would you say that? Someone wants to write us that AU or big nuns ADJI? Need. Someone to write so many or fan art? I did. I did look on AO3 to see if like any of our stuff was already up there.
Like maybe other people cuz I'm like we can't be the first ones to think of some of these things. That's true, we didn't actually. Most of them are just like the actual actors and I'm like no no. But anyway, little nonce reasoning is that she likes speaking and talking non face to face because now this whole sentence made no sense. Hold on, she thinks that speaking and talking non face to face takes more skill than usual And also she just doesn't like talking to people face because
that same girl relatable. But I think she's like saying basically because like if you if we go to like the show that she really loves later the relationship advice show. I think what she's saying is that like when you're talking with other people and you can't see them, it does take more skill because you can't read their body language. You have to be able to, like, hear it in their voice, understand how to guide them, like when you're like leading
questions, things like that. So she's right. It is a different skill than like when you can see somebody and you can kind of gauge the situation a lot differently. I think that's what she means by that. Yeah. No, definitely. Like I, while watching this and doing notes, I was thinking if we did this podcast where we couldn't see each other, yeah, I would struggle so bad. And I know you, yeah, no, totally. When you first started, I didn't. So that would have been really
been awkward as fuck and. Really, who the hell is this? What's this voice? Yeah, no, totally. That would be really weird. But like, imagine having to interview somebody. Imagine having to interview somebody, a stranger, and you can't see them. Like that is a different skill set. She's right. Yes, very true. Like it's, that's why even listening to podcasts, I like watching them because I struggle to really figure out what someone's talking about. If I can't see them.
That's a me issue. That's a whole. I'm the other way around. I'd rather just listen. We are always multitasking. Yeah, we are very different. My brains are very different. Very, very different. It's comical sometimes, I know. OK, big NUM, Big NUM. That's. A good place to start Big NUM. That's always a good place to start. All right. So Big Nung does something that she probably shouldn't do because, you know, we've started off so well with her asking Little Nung what she wants.
But Big Nung tells her that just because she studied communication arts doesn't mean she will actually become ADJ. Yeah. She's basically like, trust me, is what she follows us up with. And so I think part of Big Nung and so this is cute though, like little nun like what she wants to do with her career. And I think big nun part of her likes the fact that they both have this like art slash non traditional passion path in common.
But like the again, she's always waging the war between like what she wants quote, what's the selfish thinking versus the selfless thinking. And I think so in the selfless path, like part of her is afraid that like little nun is going to struggle the way she's currently struggling as a starving artist.
And I think that's where this is kind of coming from, from her lived experience, not from just like the perceived live experience where like, you know, the grandmother's like you have to be a doctor 'cause there's no other path for you. Because TV, media, I don't fucking know. Whereas Nung is like, I've lived this route. Like you don't want to struggle. I'm struggling. My grandmother just called me a failure. So you know, anyway, anyway, Little Nung just wants to study
something that she likes. And Little Nung asks Big Nung, she's like, can I just study something because I like it? And Big Nung says no, she can't because there's no future. And well, first, I feel like this is very common when you're trying to decide what to do in college. Like do I follow what I want and like to do? Or do I follow? What's safer? And that's something like, I dealt with doing it because I was like, I love acting, but realistically that's not going
to get me anywhere. So I did biology and then I was like, I'm going to hate my life. And then I figured out a way to, like, make the entertainment a little safer. And I was like, let's do that. Yeah, gotta gotta find those middle ground. Yeah, this is very real. I get this. That's I went down a similar path. And part of my thinking was like, what do I hate? Also, like, what can I not
stand? So there's a reason I am not a pharmacist that works in a drugstore because I did that as a tech and was like, this is terrible. They treat these people like crap. I'm not going to spend all this money on school to be treated like crap. And I figured out you can work in hospitals and like, this is completely different. I can deal with this. So I get where big none is coming from in the scene because she has the wisdom in the life experience to be like, no, like, trust me.
Like I understand you're young and you want to follow your passions, but like, you have to think about this other thing too when you're making this decision. Like you said, Kaitlyn. This is also. Her insecurities playing out though, because she Big NUM did follow her heart and but she's been struggling and we've seen her have to ask Sam for money just to pay her rent. And I don't think Big NUM wants to have to rely on her little
sister. Like that is kind of embarrassing, especially when you're like, I can make it on my own. I don't need you. And that is kind of like the whole, her whole thing of leaving. Yeah. But that's why she that's why she keeps the Ledger to where she's like, I'm going to pay you back, Sam. It's a loan. It's a loan. Sam's like, I don't care, Just you're my sister. But like in Big Nog's mind, she's like, I'm going to pay you back. This is temporary.
This is temporary, you know? So, yeah, I agree with you. And Big Nung knows that Little Nung wouldn't have a fall back. She doesn't have a Sam. No, obviously she now has Big Nung. She has Big Nung. Yeah. She's like, I can't pay for. She's like on my salary. I cannot pay for you and me.
I can barely pay for me. Sam's gonna get another dependent, which would be great because Sam and mine would just adopt the two of them and be like, this is our lesbian children that we are taking care of financially. Can they attack a resonated child? That's my older sister. Let's make this web of relationships even more complicated and convoluted. Oh Lord, if that was I would need a you need a reward. Could you imagine? No. Like me trying to put the blank and gap universe.
Forget it, especially with all our gym fan fiction. Forget it. Like no, I need a huge, huge board for gyms. No, you know what you would need all the fan fiction. You never saw the L word, but maybe you've seen the. No, I've seen the L. Word have you OK, remember like our chart thing I watched when I came out. OK, good. I couldn't remember if you watch it or not.
Remember our chart or is that big white board and they have like the constellations and there's like Shane who is like connecting everyone in our brains. That's gym and like every of one of these shows, somehow Jim connects all of them cuz Jim, yes, and also because it's like 6° of separation of from Jim's relationships. But yeah of Jim of Jim. She's our shame. Everyone is connected to Jim because our experiments with every single at least one character in a show somehow they
know Jim so it's fine. Anyway that's what Jim doing off screen. Jim is being Shane from the old word in like the connecting all these shows way yes OK. But anyway, Big Nung just wants Little Nung to succeed and not make the same mistakes that Big Nung has made trying to make it on her own and if she can go back in time.
I. Wonder what and if Big Nung would do anything differently or if she needed to kind of like quote fail in order to figure out what she wants Because like would she try and be do the duty that her grandmother, the grand man wants her to do? If she cuz now that she knows all of these stuff that would happen, especially at the end of the next episode, which we'll get into then. Or did she need this life experience? Because this was a huge learning experience that did help her
grow. She's much more aware of what life entails now. Yeah. Now that's a really interesting question. And I don't know what Nung thinks about that in this moment. But like, she does figure her shit out. She does find a career path that works for her, like in Season 2, which is really huge and like,
for her character art. So like, me personally, I feel like she needed to quote fail or stumble or again, find out what you don't like is a way to find your passion in a way like, 'cause like, you can think you like one thing, and then when you're actually in it, you're like, oh, I hate this. This isn't a fit for me. So like sometimes you need to experience something to really understand if you fit with it. So I feel like Nong is that kind of person. She, she already knows some things.
Remember when Sam's like, why don't you work for my company? And she's like, I already know I can't be an office worker. I can't stick to a schedule. Like I already know she already knows things she can't do or things that don't fit with her. So I personally think she needed to go through this journey. But I wonder what she thinks in this moment. I really don't know. That's a really good question. Or at least at the end of next episode.
Yeah, totally. Yeah. Unfortunately she doesn't say things out loud or in her head. Not like what we get 23.5 where she's like. You know, that's probably the other thing I like about the show. Doesn't have weird voice overs. Did did Gab have that? Yeah, that was the very first scene was Mon with a voiceover. Oh yeah, yeah, I've been. Crazy. In love before? Yeah, but I don't know. I'm in love with Sam somehow. Yeah. Oh man.
OK, but little. Nung doesn't really know everything that's going through Big Nung's head and tells her that she has no reason to say this and just calls her a dictator cuz all she sees is that someone is trying to tell her how to live her life and she thought that Big Nung was her safe person who would just encourage her. But this brings back so much trauma for Big Nung. So much. So much trauma, Yeah, 'cause like for little Nung, she never does this to Big Nung.
So it seems out of the blue. But I think she's tired of just everybody in her life trying to control her. And now she's like, you too. Why are you trying to control me? You were never controlling towards me before. Like suddenly you made this deal with my mom and now you're trying to, like, dictate when I study. And like, I think she's just frustrated and that's kind of where this comes from, from her. But yeah, you're right. She has no idea this is triggering. Yeah.
So let's get into. Why it's triggering Let's we flashed back to when Big Nong stood up to the Grand Man and told her that she wanted to study architecture, which seems like a very reasonable career path. I wonder if architecture means something different. Like it doesn't. No, it doesn't because OK, this is where I'm having I'm having a hard time with this, but it's classism is what it is because let's go to the loyal pin. What did Anna do? She the Princess became an
architecture. So like, why was that a bad thing? But the the great man in this conversation is like, why would you build other people houses? It's a classism thing. That's why she's like, that's beneath you. People make houses for you. Princess dung, don't do that. You need to be in charge, not below, but that's what this is all about. But like in Gap, they were like made it seem like like Big Nun was trying to be just like a freelance artist and like, no,
she's trying to go to art. She's like, listen, I found a career that I like drawing. Maybe I could do this. And the brand I'm like, no, that's beneath you is basically this conversation, which like this seemed reasonable to me, truly. It. Does like art like I'm not knocking anybody who studies like fine art and stuff. Yeah, no, not at all. My brother-in-law is an architect, is an architect. Like he has so many degrees. It's insane to do this.
Like it's not nothing, but I mean like like studying like fine art rather than architecture I feel like is a whole different thing. Like architecture is more safe, it's more businessy and that's what she was trying to get at. And that's not like this is in that lane and she gets to draw like like she so she can run her own business, Correct. Right. Exactly. Like, I mean, technically she runs her own business now. I mean, it's not that successful.
But no, she's charging way too low for those painting for the paintings. But yeah, this just seemed like so basically control the grand man wants her to study economics or business administration, right? Which is what Sam did. So yes, so basically the grandma tells her that she knows that she likes drawing like and we see later that she did give her her first sketchbook. And I was like, that is what blew my mind the first time seeing because we don't see that in gap.
And like again, we are, we are they're they're the same universes for us, the way we watch it, because they're technically not the same, but for us, that's what we do connect it. Because, Jim, because it helps you understand. Yes, because of Jim. Understand more in Blank as well because we have these other scenes and it's very plausible that they did happen in this universe as well. But the grandma says that even though she likes drawing, she's not allowed to think like a
commoner. Commoners, basically, peasants are allowed to follow their heart, whereas the is it a monarchy? Monarchy, right. The upper class. Yeah, she's in the she's in the monarchy. Yeah, they're they have to follow the path set for them. And. So she's like, you have to be a good girl, you have to be perfect. The perfect word. No one is perfect, but you know what? Whatever. And it's just because of who,
what family she was born into. And This is why I don't blame Big Nung at all for trying to leave this behind because like this is like the expectations put on you from before you're even born. That's got to be exhausting to not even. Be able to choose. Anything for yourself then? Yeah. Do you have anything else? No, no, no. OK, so then we finished this flashback scene to the direct parallel for why Big Nong had this trigger with Big Nong calling the grand ma'am a dictator.
And this is what she's like. Oh shit, I'm the grand man right now. And I guess the very last thing that she wants to be. So her brain is just spitting and I'm. I was like trying to write out what I think is going through her head and I just became so overwhelmed. I like the potential emotions and thoughts that were going through her head because like that girl has gone through so much and you can never tell like how trauma really effects a person and we don't hear what I
mean. Maybe in the book, you know more, but it's just the the moral of it is she doesn't want to be the grand man. And now she has taken that position when she was really just trying to protect. Little Nung and I think that. Also says a lot for Big Nung's relationship with the Grand Man, because really the Grand Man was just trying to protect Big Nung. It's just the wrong way to go about things and I feel like that's.
The moral of. Everything in these shows in general is that they're trying to do the right thing. Everyone just goes about it the wrong way. Yeah, I basically wrote the same thing. I think that's Nung's real big realization at the end of this, that like, this is all coming from a place of fear, you know? And I think she can empathize with her grandmother by the end of it. In a way.
This doesn't help with the song business, but like, I think she understands like where she's kind of coming from. And I think This is why Big Nun is so quick to back off at the end of the when she comes back to the present. And she very quickly re establishes, like with little nun, like this is your life, you have the right to make your own choices. Like, because ultimately she did. She's like she got out of the environment to make her own choices and stumbled and fell.
But like she's like, I did it on my own terms. And yeah, it's not going great. But you know, I look, look where I am now. I met little nun. Like things are going, they're going somewhere. You know. But no matter how much like she can understand the Grand Mam, at this moment, Big Nun does not want to be like her. So she moves the conversation, trying to like, understand Little Nung's point of view right now. And she asks her if she really wants to be a DJ because she likes it.
And this is when Lil Nung says that she doesn't like to work with people because it's exhausting having to pretend to be happy all the time. So with not having this face to face communication, she doesn't have to put a smile on her face. She doesn't have to pretend like there's nothing wrong. All she needs to pretend like is that her voice isn't sad. Yeah, and truly this answer is relatable.
I also don't like being around people all the time and I hate faking my emotions for the sake of politeness. Like it is exhausting. And big none totally relates to the faking your emotions part. Like she totally gets this. I could do it with broken heart. Yeah, cuz like let us remember gap like fake your emotions. Like that's her big big Nung's MO for quite some time. She learned that living with the grand man. Like she gets this. Yeah. And I think.
That's why Big Nung asks Little Nung if she's pretended to be happy in the past because she's. I think in this moment she's realizing that they have even more in common. And also at this point I'm wondering if Big Nung is worried that little Nung pretended to be happy when she was around her because she's like, this girl has always been happy with me. Was she just pretending? Has none of this been real? And you are 100% reading into the subtext here. Well then, Caitlin, you got subtext.
First time for everything got. It that is exactly what's happening all right and here's why I need to point out that when big Nung asks the question this question were you pretending her voice changes when she asks this question OK it softens and her pitch increases like it goes up an octave and then her the volume decreases. The tone is very, very vulnerable. And to me, it struck me as like the early phases of her quote, cute voice that we that little nun labels in season 2.
It's the full this voice she only uses with little Nung. It's very vulnerable and very authentic and real. And it's this voice that like little Nung can't resist because she knows she's only uses it with her. So like we're not quite at that stage yet where it's like 100%. But like this trend, the transition of her like being 100% vulnerable with little Nung, it starts happening in
this conversation. And what's interesting is when she makes the switch, when she asks this question, like Faye keeps her voice at the same tone the rest of the conversation. So like she's being very real with little Nung in this conversation. I think little Nung subtly picks up on that as well. So I think that's really important to note this conversation. Like you said, I think she's like, wow, we have this in common and and she's scared the subtext like, or are you faking
it with me? So she gets really vulnerable when she asks the question and kind of like, stays there, which is important. Yeah. And again, she didn't actually ask her. Like, did you ever fake it with me? She asked. Like in the past. So little nung. Says that sometimes she did, but when she is sad she doesn't want to show it and she smiles instead. And like this is when having seen Gap helps you realize what we are actually dealing with.
Because. We in gap, we see Big Nung teach Sam to not show her emotions because Sam used to smile all the time. And she's like, stop showing your true feelings, like have a neutral face. And then also when if you're sad or upset, pretend like you aren't because showing your real emotions would make you weak. And shows like tells people how you're actually feeling. But if they can't figure out how you're feeling, they can't use your emotions against you. Yes, all sad.
And it's a defense mechanism. Really. Yeah. This is part of big nuns emotional walls and the walls Mon had to destroy with dynamite with Sam because it was so detrimental to her interactions with other people. Yeah. And so like, again, this is another way for like big nun to save little nun from her mistakes. And she's like, yeah, that's the worst. Don't do that. But big nung.
Also doesn't want to have to be constantly worried that little Nung is pretending to be happy around her, so she tells. Little Nung, from now on, she. Doesn't have to act cheerful when she's around her. And the rest of The thing is, when you're with me, you don't have to act cheerful. Translation, You're safe with me. That's what Big Nung is saying, right? Because if she wasn't safe or felt safe, she'd have to fake
her emotions and be guarded. And she's saying you don't have to be guarded and fake with me. You could just be you. I'm not gonna judge you or like use your emotions against you. Like you just said, Caitlyn, you are safe with me. That's a big Nung is actually telling her, which is very cute. All right, so Big Nung is basically breaking this cycle that she created herself, but it's. Still, it's still a big thing. It is because.
It's it was a defense mechanism that she created for herself and then taught to others, but now she is stopping it because she sees that little nuns is creating the same thing for herself and she doesn't want she's like, this isn't healthy for either of us. And. But their little Nung is still like, concerned, like about showing her true emotions because it doesn't go well for her. Yeah, totally. So little Nung's like, wouldn't you be annoyed if I was mad at
you? And Big Nung's response is that she wants her to be mad if she is mad. And it's just, it's very sweet. It's sad that they have to tell each other to feel your emotions because little nun tells big nun to also show how she feels around her as well if she is mad or annoyed. And it's because, like, they don't want to be pretending around each other. And that's shows the ultimate vulnerability for both of them and opens their relationship even more.
But I do feel like Big Nun has showed when she is. Annoyed or mad around her a little bit. Really big Nung needs to be able to show a little love when she feels it. Yes, that's what she is struggling with the most. For sure, I think I said the next one. Yeah. So yeah, big bottom line is, you know, Big Nung is just saying you're safe with me is basically what she's saying. Cuz like little nun's response to like you'll be annoyed and
mad. She's like, I would never dare cuz she's afraid of big Nun not liking her. It's not so much like a cuz like I guess people just dismiss her constantly and constantly dismiss her feelings like little Nung. So she's like, I'm afraid you do the same thing. And I guess Big Nung is also saying like, your feelings are valid because no one tells her that they're always like, shut up, Little Nung, you don't have an opinion. And so I think this is big too.
It's a growth thing. And like, the fact that, like you said, like this, this, this, this is a big thing. So like being real, like everybody acts and pretends and does that shit all the time. Like, it's just part of being humans and interacting with other humans, right?
So the fact that they're having this conversation and agreeing to do this is a huge deal because being authentic with your emotions all the time is something that separates like, casual acquaintances from an intimate relationship. And I don't think Big Nung Foley realizes that's what she's suggesting here. Her immediate concern is just
little Nung being happy. And she's worried like, OK, we in the book, maybe this is more clear in the book, but like, bit little Nung, when Little Nung is happy, like that means everything to big Nung. And so like, it's like the most happiness is her happiness. So she's like, if your happiness is not there, then I won't be happy either. And like, we can't have that. So her immediate concern is like, just, you know, have your happiness.
And if you're not happy, I want to know because I want to fix it. But what I love in this conversation is that little Nung is the one that has the emotional intelligence to understand what they're actually talking about here. Because they they, they start talking and little and big Nung is like, why are we talking? This is weird that we're like, Hey, let's yell at each other. Like that's really weird what we're talking about.
And she says she says something that I love and the face that fame makes is great where she says we should be sharing the bad parts of each other that makes us closer to each other. And the look that big nun has, She seems so offended. She's like, I'll, why would we do that? Because Big Nung was raised to be perfect, right? We just saw that in the flashback. Perfect people don't get mad. Perfect people don't have these weak emotions. So Big Nung is like, why would I
ever show anybody ever? Because she said you can be real with me. And then little Nung's like, you should be real with me back. And that's when Big Nung's like, wait a minute. No, I didn't agree to that. Perfect people don't have weak emotions. And little Nung's like, no, but if you show me these quote bad things, your weaknesses, that's how we get closer together.
That's how you have an adult relationship with somebody big Nung. And again, little Nung is the one with the emotional intelligence to recognize that she's like, that's how you have an adult relationship. Little Nung, the. Child. Right is the one who's able to be an adult. Yeah, like her. She's the one with the most emotional intelligence out of anybody in the show. And that's why I love this conversation 'cause it very clearly shows that Big Nung is emotionally stunted and it all
comes back from her trauma. Like you said. I'm like, again, this is like she's asking Big None to be vulnerable back. And that's the part Big None struggles with at first. And I think she takes a few months to really process what Little None is asking her to do back. I mean, the same thing. She just asked Little None and then she's like, oh wait, no, this is hard. Cuz like again, like this is
hard for her. Somebody who's taught to be perfect and like, pretend like these things don't exist. And so I think she comes to the realization that like, that's a form of acceptance, right? Like if she can accept little Nung when she's upset or anger, having quote, weak emotions or whatever, like if little Nung can do that back, that's a way to find acceptance, which is something she desperately seeks. And then when like, and she doesn't really respond to this,
I don't think. And the scene kind of cuts away, well, Nung's process, big Nung is processing this and I think that she does, she kind of like smiles at the end. I think she does admit to herself that that is what she wants. I think she evades the question obviously. But like, I think she does consider this proposal really seriously like, and it does. It takes her a while to get here because her trauma in this is so deep. The things that really stuck with her the most was be perfect.
Present yourself as perfect at all times and no one's worthy of you because you're perfect. That's the thing. That's the hardest thing for her to really break out of. And So what little Nung is asking her here is, hey, I understand you're not perfect, and I'm OK with that. I still love you, flaws and all. And that's the thing that's hard for Big name to accept that a she has flaws and that she can
show them. Because it was very much ingrained to her to never show that, like, good conversation. Yeah. Just basically. Trauma. Trauma, yeah, but I like to. I like the progression of this with Big Nun. Like it does take her a while, but like, she gets there. She does. And Speaking of getting places, this is hilarious. That's the only transition I could figure out. It is now time to talk about the best and worst heist that I have ever.
Seen. I'm really glad Big Nun has not had to resort to a life of crime because she would fail immediately. She would. Oh. My gosh the grandma would be breaking her out of jail so many times. Like imagine if she didn't have Sam to like bail her out of situations. She had to resort to crime. It'd be over in like 5 minutes. Like yes. Because big Nung is. Sneaking into the palace to find her old school books that will hopefully help little Nung with
her education. And yes, main take away, Big Nung willingly goes to the palace, a place she swore she'd never come back to, to help Little Nung once again using her power and her ML title for Little Nung and risking her own discomfort slash a possible confrontation with the Grand Ma'am to help Little. Like this is her form of sacrificing to make Little Nung happy. Like, that's why I love Big Ng so much.
Luckily there's no grand ma'am. But as Big Nung is sneaking and Sam does walk down the hallway and she has to hide. Big Nung has to hide, not Sam. No. Can you imagine a sandwich just like hiding in the hallways? She's like doing her own eyes, just like pretending. She's like, I'm gonna. I have a surprise her mom. It's like some. Role-playing, the thing that they're going to do, but so big. Nun.
Hides from Sam, but if you notice she does take a few seconds just to stare at Sam and I feel like a part of her feels guilty that she is hiding from her sister. She's like probably like how did I get here? Hiding from my sister in a place that I grew up. And. Like this is the situation. That. She has put themselves in, yeah. 'Cause she's the one who. Walked away and like refuses to come back. Also, it's real.
It's real lucky that the grand man has those giant bouquet there to hide Big Nung. So thank the housekeeper, thank Auntie Nim for this. Otherwise you'd have no hiding spot. Big Nung Yeah. So on the way to her room, I thought this was her room at the beginning, but then I was like, no, 'cause then she goes into another room. So I believe. She makes a pit stop at. Song's room? I think so too 'cause you see her hand shaking, I'm pretty
sure it's the Song's room. Like she debates if she should open it. And I feel like this door has probably been closed since everything happened with Song. Yes, I agree. And I feel like her door has probably been shut too. Yeah, I think it's kind of like a not a metaphor, but like a symbol in a way. Like that door shut. Song will never get to open that door again, but this is big Nung opening the door back to this life. Yes. Like these doors are powerful, man.
You're right. This is symbolic. You are correct. That's a good read. And then once she makes it into her room, the heist is just like, basically. At this point. Because she is anything but quiet. She's like, no slamming these books on the floor, okay? The one thing she does that is correct is she doesn't turn the lights on. Okay? She does use her phone light to look for the books, but she forgot about the sense of sound of hearing.
She's like, Oh my God. I guess she was really banking on the fact that like Sam was in the grand man's room in the other wing and she's like she's not going to be able to hear this shit. Also the door was really, I know I like girl. She forgot about sense of hearing, but like she's like Nope. But the phone light, they can't see lights, but it's like we can hear you from like 3 Doors Down. Like, what are you doing? It was a hot mess. At least she didn't do the
thing. Like, if I can't see you, you can't see. Oh my God, that would have been so funny. That would have been so funny. But yes, Sam catches her because of course she's DAW. And Big Nung. I almost said little Nung. Big Nung looks like a little child caught with their hand in a cookie jar. And we talked about cookies so much in this episode that I now want Cookie anyway. So Sam was like, if you wouldn't to come back and get the book,
you didn't need to be stealthy. And I'm like, this words like, she uses the word stealthily. And I'm like, that's very generous for what Big NUM just did. Yes, yeah. Way to be flattering, Sam. But Sam's going to use this opportunity to try and get NUM to understand where they are right now. And she's like, the Grand Mam is sick and like all Sam wants his family back together. And she's like, there is not
much opportunity left. Yeah. And Big Nun says you don't need to tell me because I don't care. I mean, there's a part of her that does, but she's not going to admit that to Sam. And I think she'd rather not hear it. So she doesn't even have that has to think about does she want to care about it or not. But. Sam has learned from Mon and she's very very insistent. Yes, and she tries and get Big Nung to understand that the Grand Man is getting older.
Like she doesn't just stop aging because Big Nung left and the Grand Man won't be around for much longer and that Big Nung will regret if she doesn't talk to her. And I think The thing is that like big non in this conversation is in denial about the grand man's mortality because the grand man has always been this big. I might have sent this a gap to to these to these sisters.
The grand man has always been this big, larger than life, powerful, imposing figure that's cast a shadow over everybody around her, including them. And they've been living in her shadow for so long that like, I think in her brain, she's like that woman men will never die. Like she's eternal. She's godly at this point. Like hell will freeze over before she dies. Like that joke that people make. Like she's gonna outlive all of us.
Yes, Basically the person that everybody hates, they're gonna outlive. Cuz he used to say that about my grandmother. Yeah. They're like, she'll she'll outlive us out of spite, that kind of thing. Yeah, absolutely. That is how Big Nung sees the grand man. So when Sam is saying this, I think she's so in denial about that. And that's how what she believes she's like, that woman will never die. Stop it, Sam, stop, stop trying to pull every card in your deck
to try to get me to talk to her. It's not gonna work. And like, she can't see the reality of the situation that like, yeah, this is not a young woman anymore. Like, yeah. And she's also, she also can't see. It's, it's not until later when she visibly sees it. She's like, oh, Sam was not lying. You know? She's like, these are just words, Sam, stop it. But it's also kind of like a sneak attack for Sam on Big Nung because they were talking about something totally different.
And Big Sam always takes the opportunity to bring it back to the same conversation. So yeah. The same thing that big. Nung does. Every time she feels cornered, she tells Sam that she has to leave and she tries to flee. She. She likes to flight when it when it comes to family, but Sam does not let it go because. Sam is like. Very insistent on this. She's like I need my family together, this is the only thing I want right now.
I got mine, that's great. I need this is like the only other aspect that she needs to fix in her life basically. So Sam runs after her and tries once again, but Big Nung says she won't step foot in the palace again until the grand man is dead. Famous last words again. Like, yeah, again. Stubbornness is the fatal flaw of both Nung and the Grand Man. They have that in common. They're almost carbon copies of each other. Except. Which is why they butt heads.
Except not like Nung learns, adopts a more modern mindset about things, whereas the Grand Man does it. That's the thing that really separates them the most. Anything else about this scene? No. All right, so now we're going to go to the little brat. I love the scene. Little Nung is sending a voice message of her reading a book to Big Nung. And at the. End She tells Big Nung that she
loves her. Yeah. Let's break this scene down, though, because these two scenes, because they're pretty great. So little Nung is getting her DJ on, and she sends the voice recording right? And she's reading a section of Pluto, a sapphic romance novel. Pluto. It's Pluto. That's what she's reading. I know. I'm more confused about what this book is this show is going to be because, like, I really need to read this book. I know I'm slacking.
I'm sorry. And we've been writing these notes, and I had to try to read, but yeah, What the hell is Pluto about? Because this is all Pluto. You're over 200 pages right now. Yeah, our notes are over 200 pages, and we're not even done. OK. Anyway, no, we're only done one season. Right. So that's where we're at with Blake. You're welcome. All right, so DJ Little Nug is reading Pluto again. Sapphic love story to Big Nun, all right. And the obsession she's reading is about.
I haven't read it, but the main character, I assume it, refuses to make a deal with the devil. Devil for fame and fortune, or they do do it or something. And Little Nun's like, isn't that stupid to, like, make a deal with the devil over something so trivial? I would never do something like that because I know what's the most important thing in my life. And she pauses, which leaves Big Nun on Red for a second because she's hanging out every single word that she's saying.
And she's like, staring at the phone, like, go, finish that thought. What's the most important thing? Oh my God, what is it? And Little Nun says it's you. You're the most important thing. I love you. Then what happens, Caitlyn? This makes big nun's heart flutter, and we get another shot of putting her hand over her heart. Yeah. She's like, Oh my God, feelings. I can have feelings. What is this? What is this? Feeling so sudden and new. Felt the moment I laid eyes on
you. That is definitely a love song. I really thought it was. I thought that was a love song in the beginning because I I heard loathing. I thought it was loathing and I thought they were just saying loving with an accent. Oh dear. OK, back to this. Scene.
OK And more importantly, I think, I think the significance of this scene and why we're really here with the heart palpitation moment is because I think this maybe is the first time because Little Nung says she loves big Nung constantly. It's like every 3rd sentence, right? Yeah. OK. But I think this is the first time Little Nung put her love confession into context in a real way for Big Nung, because she directly basically tells her you were the most important
thing in my life. That is why I love you. You can see it from me when I run away, where's the 1st place I go? I go to find you. You're my safe space. Like you're the person I want to be real with. Like I, I don't judge you, that kind of stuff. And I think for Big Nung, when she's hear it, when she hears that, she's like what? That actual direct thing, like basically saying you're #1 numb, you are #1 that's what she's saying.
I think all the puzzle pieces finally start coming together for Big Numb. When she's like, OK, she's serious. I feel something back. I think that this is when she's putting together, Oh, this is love for me too, because I think she's been trying to figure out what the hell is going on with herself because she's never had feelings like this before. So she doesn't know what this really is. And with little nook, she's always like that can't be what this is.
That can't be what this is. Stop saying the L word like that can't be what this is. And I think in this moment, this is a moment for acceptance for her. And she's like, oh shit, this is real for her and this is real for me. I think this is an acceptance moment. You, you love her back. Just letting you know. Big no, your actions snitch on you constantly and of course Big Numb has to have this realization completely alone, right?
That's the only time she can have all her walls down is when she's completely alone at this stage. All right, anything else for Part 3 before we move on? No, let's get get going. Part four last part of season one episode 5. OK, this opens on the Isle of Lesbos. I'm assuming cuz they're out of here. Who in? Yeah, 'cause they're at a beach resort. First question about this. They're at a beach resort. Who paid for this? Sam? What was the pitch? What was the pitch for a big
nun? I need to follow my lesbian heart. You want me to be happy? Let me take my future girlfriend. To this place. And Sam's like you had me at take my money. So there we are. OK, she's like I already. Own the island. He may as well just go spend the week. Yeah. Jim's next door. Say hi for me. Jim's the neighbor. All right, so. OK. Why are we at the Isle of Las Vos? We're here because Little Nun upped her bartering skills.
So instead of give me a cookie, she's like again, like what happened off screen, like she keep this is the give a mouse a cookie bartering. Now we're up to I'll only study if you take me on a trip so we could travel just the two of us like big nun. How many rounds of give a mouse a cookie did you lose before we got to beach resort in the Isle of Lust? Like seriously. The little nuns like if I can get her alone. Right. That's what this baby, this can
go subway now. It's literally what's happening. Let me just bring Pluto again cuz Oh my God. Anyway, so somehow, somehow this was not suspicious to Lil Nung's family. They're like, you want to take my granddaughter slash daughter to the Owl of Lesbos? Great job. I'm pretty sure the grandmother's like that sounds great. And Ping FA was like, I guess I want to go on the trip, whatever. So anyway, what, what are they
doing? So anyway, Big Nung comes outside and Lil Nung is sitting on a swing reading smut out loud as one does. That's what's happening. And big nun is like, you do not need to be reading the smut out loud right now, ma'am, because you're because I can't handle this. And also you need to be studying so you can get into a good university. If you're and if you're not going to study, I'm the one at
fault here. So like, if you want to fuck up your life, go for it. She's so flustered by the smut she just heard that she's like, I can't with the I can't with you right now. I think she's also. Flustered that little Nung is so comfortable just reading it out loud off of that. Yeah, yeah. Little Nung's very forward. Little Nung is respectfully aggressive and big Nung is this should be done in private in your brain kind of thing. Yeah.
She's more like at the prude mentality when it comes to stuff. Little Nung's like, no, I would kiss people in public. I don't give a fuck. Yeah, that's definitely a difference they have. OK, But Little Nun knows exactly what she's doing, because anytime she does this stuff, she's trying to fluster Big Nun because she's she's a mastermind. Insert mastermind by Taylor Swift. This is Little Nun. She planned all this, I'm pretty sure. Because to me, that was the goal
of the trip. Like the next cookie was let me get you a loan so I can fluster the shit out of you. Because it's fun, first of all, to watch her swirm, but also she's planting the seeds of I want to fuck you. That's what she's doing. That's what this trip was designed to do. She's planting those seeds. Let me just read smut out loud to you. What's going on in your brain right now? Big numb. Why are you blushing? Yeah, that's what she's doing. So big numb, guys. Sorry. No, go ahead.
Big Nung who can't handle this because this is worse than feeding somebody. She. Is like. Gives Little Nung a textbook. She's like, bitch, you need to be reading this shit. I will take Pluto, thank you very much. And she tries to run away, but Little Nung's like, hang on, we're not done talking. And like, chases her down, OK. And she's like, hold on, why did you just take that novel? Because she wants to read it. Little Nung. She's also taking notes for later, right?
And right, That's, and Little Nung knows that. But Big Nung is trying to act cool. And she's like, well, you 21 year old should not be reading stuff like this. And she's squirming and can't look her in the eye when she's saying this. And that's when. And Little Nung's like, wait a minute, Why are you blushing over this? That was nothing. You should have you read the other novels this author has written?
That's nothing. But I just read and Nung's like trying to get the fuck out of this situation without making it obvious that she is having smut filled thoughts at this moment because she keeps looking at little Nung's lips while they're doing this. And little Nung clocks all that. She's like, yeah, my plan's working.
That's exactly what I thought. So Nung is gay pancake because again, her little give a mouse a cookie scenario is falling apart in front of her eyes and she's like it's escalating into territory this should not be escalating towards now. So she tries so hard to steer the topic away from sex and into something unsexual like school. Because school.
Well, it depends. On how you do, I'm sure some stories can turn the listen, they do stuff in the novel that is exactly what you're you're thinking They're into role play in the novel, these two and like BDSM shit. So I'm glad that's not the show. But yeah, it all comes from little Nung too. Again, she's aggressive. So let's not talk about that. Let's talk about what big Nung
does here. So again, she's like, let's try to throw water on this situation and she's like, let's get back to the barter system and get this back on track. So she's like, listen, when you can tell she's thinking this on the spot and she's like, I'll, if you study, I'll reward you with dinner on the town is basically what she says. And it's like and and big nun's like, oh, wait, that's a date.
That sounds like a date. And believe me, let's have a date is exactly what little Nung heard because she grabs the book. She's like, OK, I'll study now because she just won the barter game and Nung just fucking lost. And she's like, fuck, I, I she got what you wanted. She's like, let's escalate this to trip together. And then big Nung's like, no, we're here to study. And then she like takes her out on a date.
I'm like Nung, you keep fucking this up when you're trying to like de escalate the situation and you keep escalating it by accident. She just got 5 cookies in this. She just got fucked. Please tell me that this episode's title is if you give a little nung a cookie. Well, if you give a nung a cookie, we'll see. I was going to title this gay panic because that's mostly what's happening here, but we'll see if there's enough words when you give a little nugget cookie. I'll try.
All right, so after Nung, without knowing it, proposes a date to little nugget little ones like I accept, grabs the textbook, I'm going to go fulfill our barter. Nung's like fuck. So she takes the sapphic novel and goes back to her room and she's standing in the room. She puts the book down and it is like standing there in silence having very gay thoughts because smut. Little Nung, I just invited her on a date, what the fuck am I
doing? Thankfully, these panic thoughts are interrupted by Pingfa. I don't know, I think unfortunately they got interrupted by Ping Pong. I think Big Nung was about to have a panic attack, so I'm kind of glad, but valid. So Ping Pong interrupts because she's jealous that Big Nung got the grandmother's approval to take Little Nung to the Isle of Lesbos. Like to go on a trip. She's like, you got she got to leave the house. Like that never happens.
So what's really funny is in this conversation at the beginning, because I mean, little big Nung is kind of right in the high of oh shit, I have a date tonight with little Nung. And at first she starts gloating to Pingfa.
She's like, well, your grandma, you know, your mom doesn't trust you and she trusts me. She basically gloats to Pingfa, but it very quickly transitions into from gloating to being petrified because Ping Feh brings up the elephant in the room where she's like, well, my mom clearly trusts you to take her on a trip out of town. She doesn't trust me, her mother in the black sheep of the family again, because three seconds ago big nun was thinking about fucking little nun.
And she's like offered to take her on a date. And she's like, well, you know, if this isn't a great start to like win over the approval of my future girlfriend's family who trusts me. And they think I'm taking her on this platonic studying date to the beach, which makes no sense anyway. It makes no sense whatsoever, right? They're just as guilty, feel like they're just as coverable. And I was probably like, it's a change of scenery. It'll help me.
It's a more serene environment. I'll be more relaxed and it'll help the information stick right, the Feng shui, etcetera. And they're like, that makes sense, Jesus Christ. Anyway, this is not great for Big Nung if she's trying to keep the trust of her future girlfriends, relatives, and pig. Pho again throws salt in the womb by reminding Big Nung to be a good role model. She uses that word specifically. This comes up again later to not disappoint her or her mother.
And that quenches big nuns thirsty thoughts for now, because she's like, well, I always, I always keep my word, except when I did it with the grandmother, grandmother. But you know, now I do all right, so let's go play by the sea. So then we cut to the nuns outside. And because studying is over, I guess we're done already because Lung is so smart when she is she's a mastermind. She doesn't really want to study anyway and Little nun's like, that's enough learning, let's go
play in the ocean. And predictably Big Nung declines because how much does she actually study though? That's what I'm saying because not much time has passed. A film call passed. I know. I think Big Nung went and read the rest of Pluto. She was studying outside. She had to prepare for the date anyway. And that's why she's like, Nope, I can't be anywhere near right now. I'm having gay thoughts again. But again, respectfully
aggressive. Little Nung does not take no for an answer and instead pulls Big Nung out into the water. And this is one of my favorite moments in the show because all they're doing, it's very quick. They're just playing and having fun. And this is the first time ever and one of the only times in the show that Big Nung truly smiles.
Like full teeth smiles. And Little Nung sees that joy that she's causing and big no, just like lets it happen and doesn't try to conceal it and just feels it in that moment. And remember their other conversation where like, little nuns like, hey, express how you're feeling around me. She is keeping that promise in this moment, like she's not pretending to be indifferent here.
She's feeling what she's feeling and she's showing it to little Nung and it's such a beautiful moment and it's like it's again, it's one of the few times that Big Nung is like having a moment of joy and showing it and it's adorable that they share those together. Beaches are their thing. Just FYI. Beaches are the gap blank universes thing of showing how much you love the person and also it's where you go when you're upset and sulking.
Wish we wrote the same note for that scene too where you're like Sam was like they have this in common anyway and maybe the grand man taught that this. Who knows. If you're going to be dramatic, go do it by the ocean. So they learned that. You can only be dramatic in. Front in front of water anyway, because Sam does that with the pool. Yeah, I know. That's why Sam has a pool. Sam's like, I must always have a body of water to be sat around. Mom.
Just understand that when you live with me and we're going to have a pool. And so Mom's like, I guess as long as you clean it, Sam. Anyway, so let's shoot over to the date that isn't a date, but it's totally a date. Keep in mind they're walking around the night market, I guess in the Isle Plus Plus, and nobody knows them here. OK, we hope, except Jim, who's probably spying on them.
But it's a good setting. It's a good setting for them to test out this whole be who you are kind of situation, right? So it's a good test date or whatever, even though it's not a date if you ask a nun, but it's totally a date. So little nun who understands this as a date, takes full advantage of all of this and tries to hold big nun's hand and it and it it fails eventually. But there's some good stuff that happens here. I mean, I noticed that. To get. Little Nung to stop holding her
hand. Big Nung does take Little Nung's hand, and she Pats it. And I read it as it was telling her that she wasn't rejecting her. She just isn't comfortable holding hands right now. Yeah, that's also fair. My favorite part is when Big Nung tries to take her hand away and you watch the little Nung clench harder. She's like, absolutely not. I'm not letting go of her. It's so funny. Like she tightens her grip and big nose like shit, yeah, you're
right. She's like gently being like not now or I'm not comfortable with this. So little Nung's like fine, I know you are comfortable too and clings to her arm instead, which big Nung doesn't fight. So you can totally read that as she's more comfortable with this because little Nung has persisted for long enough. Big Nung is like, I'm too tired to fight you 'cause it I fail every time. So let's just do this. And she's also kind of smiling 'cause she does.
She's a touch start person. She does like this and it's not a date, but it's totally a date, Fiora. Yes. She has a green shirt. On I, I. Nailed it in our reaction video. What do you mean? I cuz I my big numb shirt. Oh yeah yeah no, exactly. No, this is a great shirt. I love this shirt. All right, so every single clothing choice for her is amazing. Season wine in particular. All right, so eventually they buy a bunch of street food, which is a cute date idea by the way. This is adorable.
I would love this. And things get super intimate. So first they stop and get like drinks or like smoothies. I can't really tell. They look a little fruit drinks or whatever. And numb pays because she's the gentle woman here. And at first I couldn't figure out what the scene was, but I think what happens is Nung gets her drink and puts the straw in. And then little Nung's looking at her, looking at the drink and looking at her and looking at
the drink. Because I think she expectedly wants Big Nung to feed her the drink because that's what you do on a date. Like you're like here date. You try it first. And I think Nung picks up on that and she's like, oh, fuck. And then that's why she runs away really quick. She's like, I'm not there yet and she runs away. She's like, this is getting too intimate because big Nung reacts to feeding like it's porn, like she does it the whole day. It's.
And it's also not a date to Big Nun, right? It's not a date. It's not a date. And then it gets real intimate. She's like, this is pornographic. People can't see this anyway. So that's strikeout number one for Little Nun. Then again, respectfully aggressive Little Nung. So then they get their next thing, which is actual solid food. And little Nung has the food this time and they are about to share whatever this thing is. It looks amazing and I now want, but I don't know what it is.
And Lil Nung is like, I'm going to feed you. And we don't even get away from the food stamp. We're in front of it. And Lil Nung is like, here you go. And again, Big Nung's reaction to this and she lets her do it. But this is clearly something that's super intimate to Big Nung because the way she reacts to this, she's super shy during that. She's like, oh, you're feeding me. Oh my God. She avoids eye contact. She avoids looking directly at Big Little Nung when she's doing
this. And she kind of smiles at the end too. And by the end she kind of gets bolder and starts looking at little like seriously looking at it cuz this is intimate. You have to get real close to do this. And at the end she like brushes her own lips, which to me reads like a subtle move, like you should be doing this little nun. And also like she's diverting little nuns attention kind of thing.
So it gets flirty at the end. But like the way she reacts to this, it's like this means a lot to big nun. Like the food gestures. OK, so good job, Little Non. You're getting closer. Then we cut to the obligatory ice cream scene that's in every one of these shows. They are loves the ice cream scenes, yes, because lip touching actually happens in these scenes. But this time it's Big Non doing it to Little Doug. So Big Non gets bolder as we get to each meal.
By the time we get to dessert, she's more bold. And it's Little nuns turn to gay panic. Because it's one thing to suspect that somebody likes you romantically, and it's a whole another thing for them to actually do romantic gestures like this. And what I like about this scene, as it's super slow the way Big Nun does it, OK, Like the move is slow, the way she approaches Little Nun when she realizes why does nobody know how to eat ice cream in these scenes?
But anyway, she notices it. And then she, like, approaches very slowly, so Little Nun can see what she's doing. And she pauses before she touches her face. And it's kind of like Big Nung is giving Little Nung the opportunity to say no if she's uncomfortable and like, opt out of this. And she doesn't. So Big Nung keeps going and then gets rewarded with a giant smile from Big Little Nung. She's like, Oh my God, you're touching me, first of all, and you're touching my lips.
Wow. And big Nung lingers there for a while and then she starts gay panic. So it's like mutual gay panicking, but it's very, it's very cute. Just Nung is one of the only people who know what consent is, right? Exactly. I love the way she did this 'cause it's very much like a are you OK with this without saying anything. Again, her actions are very speak to where her headspace always is. She's like, you can opt out if you don't want me to do this.
But of course, the woman was like, you just do whatever you want. Yes. I can't believe this. Oh my God, believe you'd only eat ice cream from now on. This is the best All right, so I'm pretty sure big Nun, because I don't think big Nun knew she was going to do this and she just boldly did it. And I'm pretty sure she fixated on this the entire rest of the evening because after the date we cut back to them in the hotel where big nun can't sleep. They're in separate rooms and
Big Nung is just gay panicking. This is fine. As stiff as a board. I'm pretty sure she's like, why the fuck did I do that? Oh my God, that was a date. Oh my God, it was totally a date. Oh my God, it was a date. And then to make things worse, little nun comes into the room and she's like, listen, I'm in a strange place. And she's one of those people. This is also relatable. Who's like, I don't, I don't, this is a strange place and I can't, I'm afraid and I don't
feel comfortable. I'm having trouble sleeping. I I get that. Like, I like if I have to sleep in hotels, I have trouble falling asleep too. Like this is relatable, not unreasonable. And big nun's like I think her brain is all over the place and she's like, OK, well, she shouldn't have said yes to but she was like, I don't want you to be sad. Let's go to sleep. We're just gonna. This is like she's giving her cake at this point. Cuz like, I don't have any cookies anymore.
Some cake. Cuz little nung. I mean, if Little Nung is upset, Big Nung will do whatever she needs to make that puppy happy. Literally. Let us recall the conversation with Pig FA 20 years ago at the beginning of this episode where she's like, she cried. What was I supposed to do? Like, that's what's happening here. And I think Little Nung, the mastermind, knows that she's like, all I have to do is seem sad and she'll give me whatever the hell I want, what she does.
OK. So then they get into bed together and big Nung's like, we're going to go to sleep. And little Nung's like, this is so exciting. She's like, we're going to sleep and like, lays down and faces away from little Nung like a responsible adult. But little Nung is like, this is a bullshit. I want more than a cookie. So she insists that they cuddle. And the first thing she does is she like, bum rushes little big Nung and grabs her. And little big Nung's like, what
are you doing? We were going to go to sleep. And little one's like, well, if you face away from me, it's like I'm sleeping by myself, what's the point? And big nun's like, Oh my God. That's fair though, because if someone's like has their back to you, it's kind of like. Well, what the hell is? This right, right. So like because like little nun is also working up to like the
thing she really wants. So it just takes she understands you need many drips of water to get the stone that is Big Nun to cave. So she's working on it. But Big Nung is like gay panic intensifies. So she's like, we have to shut this down. She's like, OK, look, that's too much. And Little Nung's like she's like, no, I'm serious though. I really can't sleep. Like I'm being serious. I'm not just making a move. I really can't sleep. And Big Nung's like, OK, what do you want?
And Little Nung's like, can you hold me? It's basically she's just hug. But she's like, can we cuddle is what she's asking. And Big Nung is like, oh God, that's so inappropriate. Oh my God, this is a date. We she starts panicking it and lone lung's like please, and it's the please that gets what she wants. So big Numg's like, if I hug you, will you you promise you're just gonna go to sleep? I don't have any more cookies and little numg's like yes also I know you have more cookies
but. Yes. You have unlimited practice. I saw them in the night stand. You have more cookies. Don't lie to me. So anyway, yeah, so big Numg like holds her basically, and they're like cuddling and like big Dong is just a fucking lie because she's like this will be fine. And then like Pats her head and like she's like makes little monk's hair all comfortable and then she lays on her. I'm like, you didn't need to do that truly.
But here we are all the she's like, if it's a date, I might as well lean into it, I guess is what she's doing. Oh my gosh. While in the embrace of big Nung. First of all, little nug like squeezes her, which is really cute. She's like, finally I got the hug. Let me squeeze you a little bit. And then she's like, I feel all warm and tingly now. And I'm sure Big Nung is internally losing her shit because you same girl, but she has to be the statue in the scenario.
She's like, God damn it, 'cause like warmth is another way to convey that you feel safe, which is another thing like to harp on the whole Big Nung is her safe space kind of thing. But Big Nun has to she, she's like, this has already gone too far and this is already getting out of control. And I can see where this is heading.
So like Big Nung is panicking and trying her best to just be still, be as still as possible, show no emotions because if you give a mouse a cookie, things get out of control. So she's trying her best. Oh my gosh. Could you imagine where this would have gone? If yes, Big Nung gave a little more cookies. Yes, so many cookies would happen in the scene, but they don't. If you any of this out of context, you would think that cookies or something totally
different cookies. The lesbian Jesus had cookies. OK. So naturally what Big Nung has in mind does not plant pan out. And this immediately starts spiraling because Little Nung pushes the romance topic because look at us. And she asks. And this is, again, a moment of vulnerability for Little Nung because she, Big Nung, is like, hey, say how you feel. So like, she's like, OK, I'm holding up my end of the bargain. And she asks, Big Nung, do you believe me when I say I love you?
Valid, right? Based on Big Nung's responses. And Big Nung says you say it so often it's hard for me to believe you because you just use that word so casually. Because I've harped on this many times. I think to big nun saying you, I love you using pet names. Pet names are like her kryptonite. They're supposed to be sacred and special and you use them sparringly, OK to preserve its meaning. Which is why she's always like what the fuck do you even mean?
Cuz you say it so often. So it it makes Big nun feel insecure about the relationship because she's afraid that she's misreading the situation and that, like little nun doesn't mean love the way she means it. And I think that's part of her conflict and why it takes this so long to like what happens to happen. But Nung Big Nung is honest back when she's saying this and she does give little mum what she
wants, which is a crumb of hope. But she says, she says, even though you say it so often and I like don't want to believe you because you use the word so flippantly, I still believe you. Like she tells her that directly and then and then we get to like the saddest question of the episode. Kudos to Yoko for how she fucking delivered this heartbreaking line because she asked Big Nung the thing that's really been plaguing her the whole time, which is can you love me? I love you.
You know how I feel. But can you love me back? Like, wow, what a huge question, the courage it took to say this. And her voice is so small and so shaky, and she's never sounded like this before. Because I think Yoko's trying to convey how terrified Little Nung is to ask this and to get the answer that could crush her. Right. Like, Big Nung's saying no. It's like her greatest fear. Yeah. I mean like what would they have done in this situation if Big Nung would have been like no, I
can never, I love you. I mean they. Should start freaking out like Brooklyn is right now. I know. I think poor little nun would just cry. I'd never stop. And it's just this. This line is very, very heartbreaking. It's so. But I feel like she thinks if if the answer's no, I'd rather no now that too then keep because I think this is kind of like her breaking point. She's like, I have been trying this whole season. If this isn't. Going to go anywhere, but all she needs is like the tiny
slivers of hope, literally. And she runs with it because she's respectfully aggressive. But truly she's terrified of this answer. And I think when Big Nung is silent, that's what like you said, she's like, I need to know yes or no if I'm misreading the situation because like they're both in this, the camps where they're like, does she mean what she's saying? Am I reading this? Because like, they communicate, but they big Nun is bad about communicating her feelings because trauma.
And so like they're both trying to figure out, are we on the same age? And so little Nung who's respectfully aggressive is like, listen, I need to know. And so I think that's why she kisses Big Nung because she's like, I need to know once and for all, like, do you feel things for me? And it's kind of like, I think part of it too is like, she's like almost not giving her a real chance to say no before she kisses her. She's like, maybe this will change your mind, right?
And I don't love that she did this while Big Nung is like, had no idea this was going to happen. This is in the book, by the way, the way this goes down. But like, I don't love this because it's like Big Nung did all these things on the date, like where she was giving you opportunities to be like, do you consent to this? And like you kind of kissed her without her being able to do that. So I don't love this. Isn't she pretending to be asleep right now? Correct. Which is weird to me.
Her eyes are because Big Nun can't do her normal flight thing right now because she has to keep the puppy warm. And so she's. Freezing yes, but I I don't love that Nung big Nung didn't get to like consent to this it just to her. I don't love that I understand why Lil Nung did it because she's afraid and she's just trying to be bold and like get her answer. But like you're robbing big Nung of her like autonomy a little
bit in the situation. OK, and it gets weirder because Big does not react OK, she just lays there with her eyes closed because really she's full on gay panicking and failing. She has completely failed her mission to stay in control of the situation and not give the mouse the cookie. And here's the mouse taking the fucking cookie out of the drawer. So she just is panicking and not moving. OK And then little None miss reads this as rejection. She's like OK, I guess this is
my answer. And she goes to lay back down to like actually go to sleep and she's like kind of staring at Big Nung because I think she's feeling very dejected. And then Big Nung looks at her and then they're stare staring gets really intense and really heated. And if you watch Big Nung, she's like consciously or
unconsciously. Like, if you watch her hand on Lil Nung's shoulder, she's, like, stroking her arm, which seems like it's like, unconsciously, like her mask is completely breaking and like she's about to give in to, like, what she wants. And their faces start to get closer. And the first time I watched this, I was like, oh, they're both moving in. It's just a big Nung. Big Nung is the only one moving. And she's pulling little Nung closer to her. This is all big nun, this whole thing.
And then they get closer and closer and closer. And then it rudely ends. Yeah, so don't worry. Spoiler next episode, we'll see this entire scene again. We will not recap it. We'll just shove to the chase. What will happen, Caitlin? Who knows? I mean, all the things to replay in depth. This is a good one to choose. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not mad at it. If you had to fill time with anything. All right, All right, do you have any final thoughts before that was a very long.
I hope you enjoyed episode 105 recapping. This is not even an episode we thought was gonna be the longest. Wait till we get to 201. That's gonna be like 5 hours scared now. That's the best episode. I'm already tired thinking about it. I know we have to do that in multiple parts 'cause it's it's a lot, all right? Taylor Swift songs OK mastermind for Little Numb because she does mastermind this whole give a mouse a cookie situation like No Big Numb fails miserably. I want a cookie so bad.
Mine is I can do it with a broken heart, with the masking emotions. Yeah, that's a good one. That's a good one. All right. What is this feeling? Big gay energy award they get. Oh, shit, I forgot about. How do I forget about that? I'm gonna give it to little nuns. Pretty crow Crow game with the kissing. I'll study if you agree to this. And then she doesn't study and just kisses her like that whole move was big energy. Like all of that. Yeah, that.
That's pretty much it. I will also give it to Big Nung inviting herself over to Little Nung's house to then defend her against her entire family. That also radiates happened in this episode. I know I've already forgotten what we talked about in the first hour. I was like many hour. We've been recording for four hours at this point, so that was a long time ago. I'll also give it to Little Nung. Feeding Big Nung. Yes. Oh my God. The big energy of that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's that is Big Nung's kryptonite food. And then you're feeding her the food. Forget it. She can't handle it. She cannot handle that. She can't. I was also debating giving it to Little Nung. Reading the Smuddle. Oh, my God, that. Yeah, that was also hilarious. And then, yeah, the way she's like, are you really blushing from that thing? I just read. I didn't get to the good part. Oh my God, the way Big Mom can't handle that. That was also hilarious.
It's a great thing. Caitlin, do you have a secret word for the listeners? OK, so again, I forgot, but I thought of a random word and I was like, I don't know why this word came to me, but I'm like, yeah, that's probably a kind of difficult word to spell because I don't actually know what the correct spelling is. So if you got to this this far in the episode, we want to know, use this word without looking up
the definition. You're going to do the definition or spelling of it and just use it naturally in a comment or a review. So today's word is assailant. Where I came up with that, I have no idea. We don't know Caitlin's time. I think it came from the heist. My God. Nung's failed heist was also hilarious. There's too many funny things in the show, I swear to God. All right, well, if you've made it this far, you're the real hero.
OK, pat yourself on the back. We'll be back next time to talk about the season one finale, which is also a lot. So until then, stay hydrated for lesbian cheeses and keep getting it up all over the place. Yes, question mark. Bye. Bye. And with that, we've been Big Gay Energy. Thank you for listening. We'd really appreciate it if you downloaded this episode and left us a review. No matter how brief, your contribution will help us reach a wider audience. We would love to hear from you
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Until next time, hydrate for Lesbian Jesus and get it up all over the place.