The Black Fat Felm Podcast is a production of iHeartRadio and Doctor Sean Paul LLC. Hey, everyone, welcome to another episode of the BLACKFFIM Podcast, where all the intersections of identity are celebrated. I am one of your hosts, John also known as doctor John Paul, and I'm unpolitely here with my Karen wig On to speak to the manager of twenty twenty five because what is this, honey? What is this like? Literally? If you literally the hair is over my eye and I'm what is this honey like?
I'm can I speak to the manager? I need to speak to somebody in charge because this these last few weeks have been a total shit show, and I got COVID to boost she just literally the last few weeks have just molly whopped me all upside my head. But for those who are concerned, yes, I'm well, I'm better now.
I'm actually COVID negative. But I had COVID literally the entire time that I was in New Orleans and the entire time that I was in Minnesota, I had COVID And I absolutely no, it wasn't Where was I wasn't It wasn't Minnesota. Where was I last Clintonville Books, Jesus Christ. I actually didn't know. I didn't figure out I had COVID until actually after the book talk, I said, let me just test because I feel like trash, and sure enough I had it. But yeah, it's all good. It's
all good. So yeah, it's been that. It's it's been that, right, But I've just been looking around like same won flave, same literally same won flave. But anyway, how are you jall?
First of all things, so like one, I'm I'm glad you're okay, and I'm glad that, like, like it's because I had COVID, came out from New York and I had no I had no idea, like I yeah, I thought I just had bad allergies. And I tested before I came back and it was negative. And then I came back and I was positive. And I was like, I was like fuck and I was like, oh no, I like I clearly had it, like I had but like but but like I'm glad because I used to
be so afraid of it. And I was like, I mean and I still am in some ways, but I was like, well, okay, wow, like I thought the allergies, like I really thought it the aologies for a few days and thankful that like it's no like this is this is a proof that science works and vaccines work, because we aren't like we weren't having the same ship we used to have before when we hit us. So
I'm glad, glad that you weren't taken down. I'm glad that you're okay now, and I pray that all the people that you were around did not get it right.
I'm also and I sent out text to let people know, like it wasn't you know, the same thing like I had went to a birthday party shout out to friends of the show James. They had a birthday party, uh, the Saturday before I left. And then you know, I text folks that were around me, you know, in Louisiana. And then the same thing when I was over at Clintonville.
I you know, I basically I told him like, hey, you know, I didn't go knowing it was one of those things of like I knew I didn't feel well, but also I just thought it was travel, you know, the same phil.
As is exhausting, like it like like you know, you know, like the you don't know these.
Days what it is like.
And I imagine like you're tested, You're like, I'm fine, just I just don't feel well.
Yeah, like then ship yeah, And it was very much giving that I had tested on Tuesday and it was negative, and then I tested again on Friday and I was positive, and so I was like, Okay. So I had to have gotten COVID between the birthday party and between the traveling to New Orleans, which I'm not surprised because last year when I traveled to New Orleans, I was like, I told you before. I was at Essencevest last year and I got I was there working it, and I got yeah ors.
Because honestly was so I'm sure I got too. Like I went from New York and I was like, i'muc. I was like, I was like, I'm duccining and I was like and I was like, just play biologies and I was like, oh damn, damn girl.
But no, not New Orleans being like the place where the.
Second all I wish I really wish you to, Karen Wig, because I feel like you with a bob, You with a bob, you know, you know, like the people who like lets, people like who bring this bobs with them wherever they go. Yeah, that's the ship I want to see and I would love. Okay, next life, shall we have you and I should have matching bobs.
We literally should. I would live literally just have on a matching Karen Wig.
I would live, would be so cute.
Okay the black lady who dates the white lady who dates black men?
Wi, yes, yes, please it is God, okay, fam it is it is your girl. Jordan ak well, I cannot english. It should girl jo hoo aka Jordan the baddest. And I'm here to remind y'all that not everything has to be online.
It's okay to leave a little mystique an amused boosh if you will.
You don't have to give the full course of your stories always like you're allowed to be private girl in some ways still even if you love the moment's life, like I just I feel I fear the line of being like share it's it's your life, girl, share what you want to share. And also some post should remain inside thought like that's that's really that's just really it something it should be sometimes I just like I just everything has to be I don't need to know it
like no one had to know this. It's actually you can just you can know if you if you must write the story or the or the or the tweet drafted girl. Almost have to do that, my god. Also, I also I do want, I do want to share folks that the bullying, the bullying has one has room over again. I have updated pronounce to here they pronounced recently. Not a deal I want. I want to share here.
Not that a bully, but everyone. Everyone wants to Everyone wants to be non binary so badly and right see, I was like, no, I am, let's push you, let's put you in the gay agenda and the gay and the transagenda.
And I'm there for it. Yes, I'm there for it. I am. I'm I'm susceptible and I'm.
So come in now. I okay.
Also, do your thoughts on close friends lists?
Well? So I don't want to. I'm gonna give myself away. I I have some people on my close friends list, and then I have some people and and then and then there are people who have me on THEIRS that I don't have on mine. I will be transparent and saying that my close friends list is really when I'm like wanting to talk ship but I don't want it, especially when I'm talking industry ship, and I don't want
people to see it. So I'm very intentional about Like, who I have in my close friends list are people other people in the industry who I know we talk about things, or we talk about stuff that we see like I probably shouldn't them, but I have I have. I'll just say this. I have a friend, her her
name is. She works in music, but our views are very much the same, and a lot of the stuff that we see in both music and in television and film, and so I'm in her close friends and she's in mine, and we go back and forth kind of sharing ship and talking shit about the stuff that we see just across the board. So yeah, I don't I don't have a close friends list because I'm putting like, you know, because I have friends that and again that's what they
like to do. I have friends who have close friends because they like to post nudie pictures or they like to post you know, they like to post stuff that probably wouldn't be So what's the word I'm looking for. They're very ford, say like, yeah, they're very fork.
When people do and I and you know, and and and I like, and I I like, I get reason why people have close friends list and like and like, I have one that I made like years ago, Like I just don't. I just think, don't use it like I have know yeah, like like but I always I always laugh because close friends list is where a lot of times people who who have to say things that could just be could just be a draft is where it comes out and I'm.
Like, yeah, I'm like, like, girl, I didn't need to see this.
I see this first of all. I mean, listen, don't remove me.
I love I love that part. I love that you want me there.
Like I love the trust. I love the faith you have on me. You know, I'll never betray you across you. I'll never tell you. That's what it's maybe a dumb thought, but like, but I am thinking it sometimes, but like, don't, don't, don't don't remove remove me, Like.
I love me on the list, but I will say this, and if I get in trouble for santence, I really don't care. There are people that I know have a close friends list and I'm not on it, and I'd be wanting to just put my finger right on their forehead and be like, put me in your close friends list. So I could be nosy because I know.
You say so, and I know it's fine. I like, I have one girl. We're like we're like besties. I'm not on her list. And I'm like, girl, why And he's like because it was like nudes, I'm like, okay, well, like ill, okay, let me hep you.
Up that bitch right, like, let me you swear you swear that. I like that I have a problem with you being nude. And that's like, I'm right, I.
Love a dud. I'm like, okay, okay, peaches. Yeah, is.
This mindset that I don't know? I just I I hate that there are so many people who are like so conservative and they're like, oh, you're not supposed to like people when they're nude. And it's like, baby, like come on now, we all know, right, let people be. Let people have something my god anyway. Yeah, so so at this point, I'll just go ahead and add you to my close friends list. You know what, Actually I think you are in my closest I am.
No, no, I am, And like, like, let me be clear, you weren't one of the people that I'm talking about, Like okay, no, no, no, I am, And like and you are on mine. I just don't post to it. I posted him in three years, but you are on mind. Just you know you are on mine the last time, the last time, I definitely am.
I responded to it a lot, for sure. I love you Clouanslant girl.
It's a privilege.
I love ye.
And And the last my posted, blest my post on mine was literally was was was when Ranastance dropped the day Ransom drop. That was like because because because I was working my ass up in my house to church girl, that was it. But yeah, I have posted. It's been three years, but like you're on mind, don't you worried? Okay? Friends, So as always we're going to start. Can you imagine the drama someone's like, you know how on your clotureans list or your culture.
Because my God that I swear the way that the world wants.
Us to the great, great great literally as always gonna show you by giving our flowers to our girl, Miss Tisha Kim and are still here segment and this one asked a question that I know a lot of us are considering. That's all that the law of us are considering, especially with all that timing around us. Some of us and I know you mentioned this Sean Pride month and now we feel as prideful.
As it once did in the past.
Yeah, that being said, I'd love to ask you whether you're bad, what did you take from last month, and how do you plan to keep the pride alive? I want to hear your thoughts person, and then I'll share.
Okay, okay, you know, so I have said this in so many different iterations and shout out to a couple of friends. You know, my friend a Niche had posted a really long story slash reel about ways that and then that's kind of what inspired to So I want to make sure I give credit where credit is due. A Niche, for those of you who don't know, is a social media I think they are Middle Eastrian and they post a lot of different things about being queer
and being Middle Eastern, and so this came up. They were basically saying that for them, pride didn't feel the same this year, but they they were doing their best to make sure that even though they're leaving, they're kind of leaving pride behind, that they're still feeling like I'm still here. And so I know this question I put that this question is loaded for me because I knew going into the month that I was going to feel
a certain type of way. And I say that because my feeling is they're I feel like we only have like four or five queer people who ever get celebrated in the month, that they're the only people that we see everywhere. I'm just being honest, I'm just being real. We only see four or five of the same queer people, specifically queer black people who are getting opportunities, are getting notoriety or being celebrated for their work. And should they
be celebrated for the work. Yes. What I'm saying is, you know, I think that these companies and these corporations, because they've seen these faces and they know these faces are quote unquote safe, they continue to keep going back to them. And so there was that, and I kept thinking to myself, like, I don't want to be a negative Nancy, but I think this. It just reminds me the entire month. I just kept saying how performative all
of these months have become. It's not just Pride, It's it's it's Black History Month, it's LATINX History Month, it's you know, Native American history. But all of these different months that we're supposed to be celebrating. You know, I'm gonna say the drama, celebrating the stuff that makes us who we are, the stuff that we've been through, the things that we've overcome. It has now become such a
performative thing. And so the fact that it just it, I just I left this month feeling very very irket and then you know, I had to really tell myself. I said, okay, the ways that I'm going And in order for me not to go into July aucceptin bro October being irritated, I think it's going to be for me to be able to celebrate the idea that we are and I say we collectively meaning me, you and
many other LGBTQ people of color, specifically black folks. We're living out loud, and I think celebrating like our work, right, like so this idea that like I have this book, and I can celebrate that we have this amazing podcast that's being noted, still getting notoriety after five, you know,
four or five years being on the air. You know, this idea that there are articles that people are still referring to either be your articles or my articles or other black queer people's articles, right, Like, there's this idea that we can say fuck the performative and that we get to live and be seen out loud through our work, but also through just being Like I think that's the
thing for me. It's this idea that just being here and living in the intersections of all the stuff that we have to deal with, but also the idea of like us being who we are beyond the month, like that that reminds me to keep showing up, and it keeps reminding me that I don't have to wait for like a brand or a person or a place to
like celebrate me just in the month of June. Right. So, yeah, that's that's kind of the thing I've been thinking a lot about, is this idea of like, how do how do I continue to celebrate me and celebrate what we do and what we've been doing after June thirtieth. That's that's kind of how I want to keep the pride going.
It Really I appreciate you saying that because to me, this past year definitely underlined how for many brands and it's like anything connection between between the government and brands, right, Like, yeah, underscores capitalism that like not like like capitalism, and that capitalism and like brands felt better to do more pride stuff and under a different federal government because now the
incentives to do stuff are much less. Their investment in that there's also much less because like we can't get we can't get you know, tax breaks or whatever if we you know, for this now or like or or they're it's like or like if we do that, it's to DEI and so they might come for us next. It makes just makes me sad that I'm like, oh, so you actually like you actually don't love us, and I mean you never never did, right like they've never did in some way, So we understand that, you know.
And I every she named all this because pride does feel very very probably felt different this year in some ways, and it came by so fast. I also think that like everything in America right now just feels like it's regressing. So nothing is good right now, like nothing feels helpful or supportive for us. And so I think it also was hard to celebrate on a national level, Like a
national level is challenging. I think in a local level, it has been different, right Like I like I've seen like I've seen like I've seen people do celebrity on local levels really out loud and really like like like likely, like when I was in Francisco during Prime Month, like I was like, oh, like I know people like really loving and living right now, and that was really nicely.
I know, like every people go around every weekend.
I know, people go around every weekend endo the trans March, the transmart and then the People's March, Like I know, people shut up for that. So I think locally, especially maybe even California. Right in California, maybe people people are living a little bit differently right in other parts of the country.
You know. I think for me, how to being prayer alive?
I mean, July Pride month in San Diego, so we got none of the pride already, and then we then in August we're doing our Black Pride Festival.
Amen.
Amen, So I got a whole quarter of pride, baby, I got a whole quarter three months. Probably honestly, afterwards, I might be like, yeah, I'MMB pride. This is I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted.
Pride.
But yeah, it's like you know, I I think I think it's staying alive in some ways because we're really like I think in some ways it's like a stronger commitment to your point living out loud because we know that we're know that the people in charge of empower above us are trying to erase us, and so we're like, let's actually like let's not allowed in general, but let's let's say, let's like live harder than ever before because
like they won't be able to be able to erase us. Yeah, and then I also have some thoughts about but I'll say I'll save the rest of my thoughts have a little rant about it.
Good, Okay, okay, good. I love when we have And I will also say this, like, I love this episode is just us because I feel like we have the space and the time to really kind of like go off. And that's that's why there's a lot that I want to say too, And so I'm kind of like, let me just go ahead and I'll hope that for our last second.
Yeah.
So I like when it's just us two on the on the mic because we don't really have to worry about because you know, our guests, they'd be like, oh lord Jesus, these people look crazy. So it'll be really good for us to be able to go.
Off, all right, well, fam another to let the world know that we are here and we are in fact queer, and that we don't still don't let the taste of beer. Yeah, go take a quick break and come back with this week's category more in just a second.
Amen, All right, Charle, and we are back. So it has been a minute since we have done kind of a movie breakdown. We've done a couple of different films. We did the Renaissance film. We did a film very very very very early, and when we first started the show, and so I figured that we take it back, oh the way back, and we do kind of the same thing all things consider that, you know, stuff feels heavy
in the world. I know people probably think that we're going to come to the mic and we're going to just talk about all the stuff that's happening in the world, And honestly, we will touch on that a little bit later. I said, let's do something that's kind of light, funished, but also still has a very kind of like deep sentiment or something important for us to look at. And so this week we are going to talk about that film. Yes, we are talking about Sinners. We have not talked about sinners.
I ultimately have kind of stayed away from talking about Centers because truly I wanted people to be able to see it. I wanted people to be able to kind of like see it make their own kind of decisions about how they feel about the film before we break it down. And considering that it is getting ready to head over to streaming I think as of today, so we're actually recording on the fourth. So for those of you, by the time you hear this, it'll actually be it
will have been out for a couple of days. You can I think it's on streaming on Max. You can go to Max. Yeah, and you can watch it there. Yeah, HBO Max. I should be very clear about that because they just changed their name again and we appreciate it. Right. You know, people have the right to call themselves what they want to call themselves. And so with that being said, HBO Max and I. What I also know Slash heard is that there is an actual black ASL version too.
So those of you who yeah, for those who may have family members, are people in your circle who are our I think it's I want to make sure that I say it the right way. Death or hard of hearing they ultimately can go on and watch the film in ASL as well as in black ASL, which I didn't know that Ryan Coogler knew ASL. So that's actually really really cool to know that that's something he was
intentional about with this film coming out to streaming. So with that being said, we are going to talk about the film, but we're not going to directly talk about the film in the ways that other people may have talked may talk about the film, or in our traditional journalistic way. We're not going to do like a traditional review, if that makes sense. What I really wanted to dive into is, you know, I've watched the film maybe three or four times. Actually I think I've watched it maybe
more than four times at this point. And yeah, oddly enough, I really when I first watched it, I was like eh, And then I watched it again and I was like, oh, this film is actually a little bit deeper than what I like what I initially watched it. For the third time.
When I watched that, I was watching it just purely on cinematography and the colors and trying to understand what decisions Ryan was making as a as a director in terms of like a DP style, and then I think the fourth time that I've watched it, it was just I wanted to watch it because I just I thought it was a great film, and I wanted to watch
it again. So that being said, I wanted to dive into a conversation about what the film says about who we let into our lives, specifically now, and why BFF needs to be cautious about the white gaze, And what I mean is that it's a double Ontandra Honey talking about the gaze gaze and then also the white gaze days and again, this is not I want to make this very clear that this conversation is not a direct attack on anybody, but I think there is a I
think it's a it's more of a conversation about queer culture, and specifically queer white culture, and the ways that we as black fat films off in times kind of just let that culture kind of like move around us, and we don't check it. We don't, we don't seem to, we don't engage it as much as we probably and if that makes sense, right, So I wanted us to kind of look at it from the frame or from the lands of centers and really thinking about how the
two kind of coalesced. So with that being said, I wanted to first ask you, Joho, now that it has been a few months since you've seen the film, is there anything that has really stuck out for you? I know, for me, one of the things that really jumped out at me after like processing the film is the idea that there are so many of us who are thirsty for belonging and wanting to be seen and loved, and
that sometimes we fall into the wrong circles. And I think a lot back to like when I was in college specifically, and I was thinking a lot about how, like I thought being a club kid was going to be the thing that brought me the you know, oh, if I go to the club all the time, and if I'm always partying, if I'm always if I'm always out there with the dolls, right, that's the community. That's the thing that's going to bring me the clarity that I need or the thing I wanted. And I was
thinking a lot about what is her name? Mary? I was thinking the whole this entire segment. As I was putting the segment together, I was thinking a lot about Mary and about this idea of like how you it's almost it's not talked about, but it's almost kind of like, we know Mary doesn't really know her identity that well, and and and she's looking at, you know, these these twin brothers to kind of be her her her beacon of of of access to understanding herself better and how
that basically screws her over in the end. So that was one of the things I thought a lot about with that, and I would love to know your thoughts on that as well.
Living on my breading glasses because scholar, Okay, that's m h. The first half of the show, Girl, I was just I was just vibes, working on vibes, Thank God, Thank God, think God, I know my cues in my lines because
God the ship. So I love her thought so much, and I honestly do even think about it until this moment, like the to let me in peace, right, because like I love to you from because in the movie it's like it's about it's about manipulation, trying to take advantage of someone that you feel is weaker than you by
manipulating them to do something you want. But like it's under the guy's a fellowship, which I think is really interesting and like in some cases, I feel like, so I won't watch the movie once, but I think about a lot. Actually I had a lot of debates the people about why I thought was such a fantastic film. And you had the idea of vampires also just in Tuca's vampires are just as like blood sucking creatures blah
blah blah. But like in this film and and many like in many actually lower vampires, right, Like there is this idea fellowship like you you turn people like you. You don't just kill me, You turn them because you want to build. You want to build this like commune commune up of vampires. And so I think it's like sometimes like I think, like we're willing. I wonder are we willing to be just somempowered to feel belonging?
Right, like do we allow you?
Are we willing to say I relinquished my power and my dad so I can fel belonging. But that isn't actually belonging right like that like that is that is just control? And how many times right in social constructs or government are are are we made to feel disempowered? And or do we give up our freedom of agency to belong somewhere I feel like we belong somewhere, right, like you talking about.
How you're like like like like I should be a club kid.
Right, It's like you giving a part of yourself to say I'm gonna get I'm gonna give myself to this, to this piece of life so I can belong. But like it's actually it's also rejecting a different part of you as well too, just club kid. And so I
think that's really that's that's that's interesting. I think a lot about the character Grace, one of the shopkeepers, Grace, you know, the Chinese American couple, because like this is such a metaphor of the white gays, right, Like the choice that Grace has to make to go between the white store and the non white store, her demeanor has to change, you know, it leaves me no wonder which one's the real one for her? Does she feel like herself in the white store? Does she feel like herself
in the non story? Because she had because she has she has a little add to her. She has a little sass, right, she has a little sass. She talks differently, you know, I asked often did she feel free at the juke joint? Right?
Like?
And also as a trans American at that moment in time under the model minority myth?
Could she ever askally feel free?
Right? Sometimes? I think, and this is gonna a hot take. The freeest choice she had was was inviting in the vampires. Yeah, yea clear, I hate that, right, And I said, Grace, why But that was her freest choice, right one, because there they were about getting her daughter and she was like, I'm not having that and she and she was like I'm not going to like I'm not going to turn, I'm going to fight, right, and then killing her husband and burning and this was where like say what she
wants about her choices, that's a bad bitch. She killed
her husband and then burned with him alive. She put a steak in him, and she could have follow the vampire, but I will say I was like gregy because if you could have fought more people, she put a steak in his heart and as he burned alive, and she and she said she's and burned with him like like like like like that is like like like that is wild, right, and right like that that was free will because you would have me burdened with somebody like that where you
have hello, you I'm stop dropping and rolling immediately.
I'm not gonna burn here. I'm gonna find these vampires, she said.
She in some cases, I'm like, you are so annoying, Grace you lisaid, I'm gonna call them all and I'm like, I'm gonna take out one of them.
That's it. I've done my job, took out one of them.
That's it.
There's not like no, this is not like fifty little.
Bit more of them. But I really, like, I really was like, oh, like this is probably like her most free choice that she made was I'm gonna, I'm gonna I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna and I'm going to like take my husband back in that way. I'm also like, so what about your daughter, girl, because like what was now like she had no parents, Like we're just we're
just gonna leave her behind. I also think a lot about uh, I think a lot about the main the main music scene where the music of the past and present and future come to live.
That Okay, that scene.
I believe it's one of the greatest and amatic moments I've ever seen in the film. Like, and that scene is what makes a film and not a movie. That is a film already, but that scene I thought was Chef's kiss Chef. I love that they like they like they also like also they also infused traditional Chinese music or like performance and Chinese performances that as well too, to honor Gray Cimbo.
And that I like, that was just like it was so good.
So I think that's when I think about a lot to that's that six was me because it also shows up like music is also freedom. Really it is, and like like like like like the like blues and itself as a genre is like is like about like like like aspiring for freedom in some ways. Yeah, so this entirely they was just it was. It was gorgeous.
It was just all gorgeous.
I'm curious to ask you what character did you you know, you mentioned Mary earlier. What character did you do the most connection with. Was it was it her?
Yeah, it was it was. I will say this, you know, I and again, there are parts of me that understands Sammy's plight, right, this idea of like living between two worlds, right, and and that's also kind of you know, to to the notion of this this conversation. You know, Sammy was very much in this mind of you know, I'm being told to be this person you know here, but I also want to be this person there, and I want,
I want, and then I want to be my own person. Right, we could we could see like there was this idea of like who my father wants me to be, who my cousins want me to be, and then there's who I want to be. But I really really vibed with the the undertone of Mary mary storyline from the moment they introduced her. Right, there was the sense of longing that I could, I could, I could pick up from her and and and and I know some people would be like why would you pick Mary out of all
the people in that film? You know, I think even with all the therapy I've done, all the self work I've done, the writing I've done, like everything that I've done, Like I mean, obviously I wrote a whole fucking book about it, I still revert back to this idea of
wanting people to want me or to like me. And that's kind of what I got from Mary, right, Like this idea of she knew it was who the names I know it was, it sticks and smoking, she was with stack, right, Okay, I'm right okay, So yeah, so this idea of like, she knows, she knows who Stacks is, she knows what both you know, smoking Stack does. But there's this idea of like, even with him doing her so dirty, she's still is you know, she's willing to in so many ways put her life in his hands.
So that way he can turn around and say, you know, I see it for you. I you know, I still want you blah blah blah blah blah, even though he really doesn't make it clear to her, like I mean, there is no real There is no real you know, as much as she's trying to push, he's pulling. And that's literally what I see in their entire relationship throughout the duration of of their time being quote unquote human.
And so for me, you know, I think a lot about this idea of like, you know, even the wrong people, you know, you know, sometimes we want the wrong people to want us. And I often I'll say this on you know, on the air. I think about it. You know, the entertainment industry, right, Like, I know how awful the industry is. I know how awful terrible people, you know,
I can't I know how terrible people can be. In the industry, and there is still a longing for me to say, oh, I want someone to buy my show, or I want someone to see it for me, or I want someone to validate all of this work that I've done. And it's a cycle. It's a vicious cycle.
And so I think, you know, looking at Sinners, looking at Mary as a character, looking at myself in the mirror, really thinking about this idea of how you know, some of us our love languages, is to be wanted, is to be you know, to be seen quote unquote, And I think when you are a queer person or when you are a marginalized person who's constantly at you know, the crux of different oppressions in different you know, margins of things, right, it feels good, you know, when someone
finally quote unquote lets you in, Right, it feels good to be like, oh, I'm finally in with the in crowd, even when we know that that in crowd could potentially And that's the thing I think most about, Like Mary knew who smoke and stacks was, she knew what was happening in that juke joint, and yes, she knew it was gonna be fun, and yes there was gonna be music, and there was gonna be all these things that were happening.
But there's still this element in the back of her mind that she had to have thought something bad could happen to me being in this bad company, right, Like as much as smoke wasn't as bad as stack, there's still this element of something bad could potentially happen to me. And so I think that was something I thought a lot about of, like how so many of us are so willing to put ourselves in bad situations with bad people, is so that way we can be quote unquote accepted, if that makes.
Sense, you know. So I so like I so, I really I think it's interesting to that because I think I saw as she knows something that can happen to them, like I saw as like she knows something that could happen to them as she goes, because she passes so much. And I think like and I think like like like a lot of folks love to hate Mary and I and I and I and I understand, Yeah, I get
it too, But I do find her interest. I do find her interesting too, because I think like, like I think, to me, like her complexity is that like she wants in which she can feel like she can feel her blackness more and like and like she's willing to announce her whiteness to do it, Like she was willing to announce her whiteness when she was with when she was
with Stacks, to do it. But he pulled away because he because he because he because he was like girl, work from two different worlds, like like like like they see me and you like they won't see that your grandfather is bi racial girl like like operating off a one drop a little bit, which is like which could be probabotic in some ways, right, especially that time period, but like but like but like she she even says it, like she does she doesn't feel so connected to her whiteness,
you know, and and and she's mad Stacks because she's mad Stacks because he missed he missed her mom's funeral. Funeral, yeah, and and and she loved her mom one but also I imagine her mom, but I imagine her mom was also was her mom also white or maybe her mom that's what it is, biracial? Like and like her mom like loves her embrace Stacks so much as well, and so like and so and so I think I.
Think par part of her is like like, like you didn't want to be with me because you were so afraid of what the world would not think of this, But like my mom loved you and.
You didn't want you can even show up for her and her be and my grief.
But like, but but I still want to because I love you, but all but like but also like I want to be Like I think I think he sees as like you can't be in my world because it's dangerous for you, and she and she and she's like, I don't give a fuck, like I want to be part like part of your world aerial, you know. And so it's like I think like like I like, I think I do think she. I do think she's selfish in this way she says, I'm gonna go do this anyways, knowing that it could be.
A bad look for that it could blow up.
I don't think she's unsafe because I I think she she actually feels safe with them, right, Like she feels safe, she feel safe with them, but like I, at least I say for with them, she does she feels uncomfortable because it's like not her element typically, but she has
to live. But I but I but I think she doesn't recognize that it makes them actually more unsafe because because if the clans people come and see her there there should be right, yeah, should be right and there should there should should shoot up the place more right because then like you know, the like you have the guard with the guard right cornbread the guard Yeah, like
who was happy to see her? And it's like, you know, like I'm sorry, I I could make the funeral, but the undertone is like I couldn't make a girl because I was out in the fields working.
The privilege that you have of.
Like to be able to just come and go mm hmmm.
Right, like and which is I think you're also also your point of being like like let me in, Like she gets the privilege of walking between both roads in some way and and and others can't be let in. And I think, and I wonder sometimes if if stats was like if I'm with you, I always be at
the door, but I can't come in the house. She can, like she she can, she can, but she doesn't feel belonging, right because because it could like like because like like there's that moment, there's that moment where I think the vampire is there and they like and they they imply like why is she there?
Right, like why are you there?
Like why did you get in?
And she implies like these are my people, and so it's like like so she's she's fighting to be seen, but she doesn't unders hand the risk put everybody else.
In by by doing that.
And that's definitely I definitely like, I definitely don't. I
definitely don't don't like that. And you know, like and and I think you're right about the wrong people because I think, like I think that like what makes Stacks wrong for her it is that like he is engaging and like in like that he's engaging and like them not consch activity and so and and and and so it's like the wrong person because it won't be good for her, but also it will engage him more and she and she would she would rather, I mean, so
it's like something and that's also why Stacks pushed back, right, That's why you pull back from her. And there's that scene where there's that scene where he's like, we don't mean to say like like like like that I don't care about you like that you want to think about you every day, like like like I think like you said.
What do you want from me?
From men?
But you know what, but ill to say at the very least heaviest Steinfeld gave me the line you can rob a bank, but you can't steal this. And I said, know what, I've never heard a real live and this a realer lit hasband said I live.
I said, that is crazy, but you can't.
I still would love to title this episode, but I know it's.
A wild I think and I and I think I personally, I do feel I also feel connected to Sami as well too, because exactly what exactly what you said, Like he's the boy who wants more for her, for himself and his life, but he's fighting what those around him want him to do and want for him. So face find the pressure of obligation to stay where he's at, the pressure of obligation to impress his cousins and make them happy and do what they want.
But you know, like all he wants me just to play music.
So he wants to sing, like he wants to bring his little a little instrument and play and and and play place. That's an instrument that I don't know, I don't know what it is. That's like his instrument Okay, he wants to play this little string, his little strings. I like, I think I think it's a band.
I think it's a band.
I'm okay with.
That's what AL want to do.
He doesn't want to do right, but like everyone wants to be in a direction. And I think that's why I connected with him, because I I am always struggling between obligation to others and obligation to myself, and she's what I want. I'm choosing like the best decision for me, and like right, like like you like, I think like Mary and Sammuy are two different foils because like Mary, she's just to be selfish in a world that that
will always like that will always for everything. And Sammy, she's gonna selfish word that gives him nothing right, right, And so it's it's like it's like herself just comes out of prize of others. Himself is just is totally for solely for himself, and that's a different thing. So yeah, okay, sorry, I'm.
More more thoughts than I thought I had in that.
That was like, no, it's fine, it's not that's what this is for, honey.
So now I'm gonna go here.
It might be a little spicy. I'm interested to know your thoughts on the idea of Cougar's commentary of needing to be safe around white around white folks, right, like you see different times where characters strive to be safe.
And how that might translate into our own lives.
Do know how much time we spend around white folks in our spending around white folks in our jobs and our personal lives?
Mmm mm hmm. Yeah, So I guns Blaze and Honey, you know, I think this is a really great and this is why I love doing this show with you, because I think these conversations, you know, I I don't I wouldn't feel safe to have these conversations with everybody, And I always do feel very safe enough to be able to kind of engage these conversations with you, with you specifically because I feel like you're not looking for aha, got you moment When we when we talk about stuff
like this, it's a very nuanced conversation of like we can talk truth, we can laugh about how fucked up a lot of this stuff is, and then we can also really talk about like what it is. And so I want to say, like I I just before I even give my response, I definitely want to say, I appreciate you, you know, in unmited holding space for me to be able to kind of have these nuanced conversations like this right about how we how we see the world. So I just want to give you your roses on
the air. Funny enough, as I was responding to this thought that you put on the dog, you know, I was holding my breath as I was responding because I knew, like I knew what I wanted to say. But I also want to make sure that I offer care and a lot of what I say specifically knowing that I do have a lot of white people that I truly do care about in my life, right my partner being one of them, you know, my manager being another one.
Uh.
I have a couple of other you know, white friends that I genuinely believe are really great people and are
their energy. Their energy is always we have to protect you and what i'm you meaning queer people, black people, like we have to keep you safe, right, And so I I want to say off the top, like this is not a direct shot at them, but I will say this that this film and and as I've and I've threaded about it, right, it is a great conversation or a great expos a I should say on how important it is for us to be honest with ourselves about the white folks that we have in our lives.
And what I what I mean by that is by saying like, I think there's a lot of us, especially now, and I love that we waited to kind that I waited to give this response now before because of what
we were talking about earlier in the show. We're in a place now where we have there are multiple reasons why we are where we are in this country period, right the but I think a big part of it, right so, so we can talk about how selfish white people have been, We can talk about how you know, white people are only ever really invested in their own best interest. We can talk for days about you know, all the things. You know, Oh, it's just they've been
oppressive by nature. But I think a lot of it also is we as black people, as brown people, we let white people get away with a lot of stuff around us. And I think that's the thing that I think we really need to kind of like address. And so what I mean by that is, you know, mine included is that I believe there are good white people, and what I and what and I you know, all both sides. They're terrible black people just as much as
they're terrible white people. Yes, there are white there are black people who voted for Trump and all of that, right, But what I mean by that is is that you know, there are moments where I see white privilege seep out in the white folks that I have in my life, and I have to make that active decision. Am I going to fuck up the inner in this room because I'm calling out the thing that they just said or did that bothers me? Or am I just gonna let
it slide? And I think a lot of us, especially in queer spaces too, right, because you think, right, I have to fight all of these years to get into a space to where I can finally feel like I'm safe here, I'm comfortable here, or that I have my people here, and then this white gay or this white queer person that you think you trust says or does
something that's problematic. Now you're like, fuck, do I fuck up the relationship that I have with them by calling them out because they may misunderstand me, or they may feel attacked or all of these different things. But I think that there's something to be said here about this idea of we have to be willing and responsible and held, we have to hold people accountable and so regardless of who it is in our lives, right, whether it be
black people or to be white people. And so I think, you know, my bottom line, and what I'm really trying to say is that, like you have to ask yourself, what do these relationships bring me? And what might they take away? In the case of Stacks, right, So, you know,
I don't I don't want to. You know, there's there's so there's so many dynamics between Mary and Stacks and that whole you know, Mary running out and then you know, getting attacked and then coming back in and basically being the reason why the entire operation falls apart, right because it starts with Mary. There's a lot that we can talk about around that, right, But I think that there's something that needs to be had around what we take away from the relationships we have with people who don't
share the same identities that we have. I think that's the thing I really walk away from with Sinners. There are so many other things, but that's something that has really been sitting with me, right is you know why? Why is there? I'll say this and then I'll shut up. I feel like I'm talking a lot. I often wonder why there are so many black and brown folks who really want to be in a space full of nothing but white people. That's something I think think a lot about.
And then I also think a lot about why are there so many white people who want to be in spaces with nothing but black people? And we hear this, right why you know? Well, why is? Why do black people need their own space? Nikka? Why do you want to be in a space full of black people? You like, you have your own spaces where you need to be. You shouldn't want to be in my space. Right, That's a privileged thing. You want to take up my space
because you everything, you want everything to feel. So so I feel like I'm on a soap box here, But I'm just saying, like I think there's something to be said about the ways and the relationships and the spaces. You know what I mean? I make am I making sense?
Yes?
I think like like like there's so many thoughts with this because like like I'm trying to try to remember, like because Mary went out because she was like, I'll talk to them, right because I'll be the to them because like I'm one of them, right, yes, you know, I get them, I get them, I get them. Her dumb ass turned her back and that and and then then she got got which was so like and like and like and like and right. She's she's trying to wield her whiteness to be a good thing to help.
Doesn't help girl all the time the time. This is not a girl. You're ruined, ruin. Then you said let me in the house and they said you're Mary, and
then you can. Then then you fucking killed. Then you kill your man Dieball who worked that all who work I do like I you know, I and like and and I agree like they are, Like I totally hear what you're saying, because I think it is suspect if non block folks want to be in black spaces, like I just think I think it's suspect because you can't build an entire country off of seconding.
Does you? You? You mama? Who was now why you gotta come why you got to eggs to come in now?
And oh hell yes, hell yes, hell yes. Any from jump said something is not right, girls, something's not right and the way the way she oh, justice for my girl Annie, because no one listened to her. She was like, she said, y'all need to ask questions. Y'all asked the quick questions, y'all. Why she why do y'all asked to come in? Why you can't walk in yourself? I think I think you're good? Would you think, she said? She says, no, let me get some growling for you. Look at some
woman juice splashing the face. Oh oh, you can't come in, bit chuck into a van. But that's why I thought she has everyone. She literally she gave. She said, y'all have one job. Don't let them in that. Don't let me tonight, just survive and tell. But and again, then that bitch Grace had to say come in and literally if like like, I don't like again her character I think is so interesting to me.
But lovingly I would kill her.
I would have definitely had to die.
I'm sorry, chopped the throat with will like if I'm not moving girl, and I'm Annie, girl, you're bestie, but you gotta go. Nope, you said, you said nope, Grace, And I saw I saw her slipping. I saw her slipping and if it was it was me, I've been like, I'm sorry, girl, but I I gotta get you now while I still can, like because I.
See you sleeping in into hell right now, just trash.
But like I was saying, I do, like, yes, I think it is sus when when when when like I mean I think it's sus when like I think it's sus when like like like when non blackfosts want want to be in back post stuff like so badly right, like for example, like I like one thing about law is obviously I said, I know where I am helping plan we're playing Black Pride and the festival, and you know, like like and I have a lot of like non black friends who are like can I come?
Like it was not okay?
And I appretire I'm asking right and like and like like like one legally we can't say no, but also like but also yes, our festival is like for everyone and everyone to come to as long as you're okay with like them centering blackness, right, but like you know, I apprecion that they asked, like is there a purple that I come? Because that diamonds are mindful of like they're not trying they're not like saying that, they're not trying.
To be about they're not trying to take off space business.
They're like, you know, let me you tell me they can do it. Versions there are folks who are like.
Who are all who are all who are all about business?
Like what like why do you why is you here?
Why is you here?
Like why you need to be doing what I'm doing this?
Like yes, I think I think you make persons and like and it's a privileg's white privilege, right, It's like yeah, but privilege is it's white dominance right, Like it's it's it's it's all systems of dominance. Two to be like I want to be like I want to be in your business, right, you know, I think it's like like like the same way like the there's a whole point with like like with the whole group of white folks and they're they're all subs. They're they're like they're like
the you know, the empire. They're like, why do you want to come in here? He's like all the music just sounds great, and they're like, I mean, yeah, it's great, but like you can all way out here for that, right? Yeah's I want fellowship.
Jerl you could do that somewhere else.
I'm right, it's the it's the what nineteen forties? What? Why? Why do I let you? Why am I? Why am I gonna let you.
Join?
You can go followship anywhere else you want followship?
Right?
Go away? Please go away? Yeah, no, you're you're You're so right. And I think you know, I will say this, Christ you can cut this out. We are literally almost at an hour talking about this film, so obviously like this, this literally means like this is such a great film
that we keep here's it. Yeah, I really do too, because, like I said, when when I genuinely thought it was gonna be over hyped, and like I said, when I first watched it, I watched it, you know, just for the oh it's a film, And then I watched it again from like the creative lens, and I was like, Wow, this film is actually a lot deeper burn than what people what people really let on. And so I I really do I do want to say, like I hope Ryan hears this. I hope, actually, you know what, Chris
keep all of this in. I do hope that Ryan gets you know, someone puts it in his ears that we over on the Black Fat Fem Podcast really saw it for this film and took something really important for it. So with that being said, now that you have had to beg your auntie's cousins, uncles, sister's mama for a Max password to watch this movie, we are going to take a quick break and when we get back, we're gonna have more show.
Okay, fan, we are black.
I mean there's a few weeks ago and y'all seem to really like it, so we thought we'd bring it back again today. But this week we're talking about what's on our plate. We're calling it movie Edition, and we're going through.
This week.
We're talking all things through your snacks and asked an eight h old question, how do you like your popcorn? And what's on top of that? Girl?
You got so black?
It's we got questions, we got to answers. So let's see you go down the list. What seasons do you have on popcorn?
My seasoning is so oh bitch okay, so let me let me put you on. My partner does this thing where he will oh god, this is so fat. We will open the bag up and then we like we'll actually like, we don't microwave it. We put it in like a pan, and then we add a little bit more butter, and we add more Parmesian cheese to it. It's some garlic sauce. Bitch, take you to the moon. It is so good. That is literally when I'm at home, if I'm eating popcorn, that it's really the only way I want to eat it.
Do you bring your own spices to the theater? Because like, because that that's that's that's the level block. I'm trying to get you everyone with spices.
Because I used to have, yeah.
Something, and I love the ones I do because I will fuck up the parmesanmesan. Some limits of lemon pepper butter.
I no lemon pepper popcorn girl, I love that.
Ship girl, No, no, no. One time my friend had about how broad. She bought her own little thing of butter, which to me out because I like the butter is And then she.
Hold up paus she bought a thing of butter.
She bout her own little like melted down butter, and I was like, no, that's so that's a wild girl.
But she said butter, but what is it? Butter ingredients?
He said that I want my pure natural butter, I said, go off girl that she had she had a little spice mix of loveon pepper.
That ship was delicious.
Definitely ship.
Yeah, I love.
I think I love like like I'm not a sweet popping girl. I want, I want, I want that ship to be like nice and spice. I something. I don't pens like that normally, but it has all pins on popcorn with that too. I love it.
Yeah, that's not me. I will never be allowabes.
Not for me.
Not for me, babes, Nope, not for me. Babe.
Do you have do you have a favorite movie candy? I'm not big candy girl, but if I do, you want candy, it will be probably Eminem's.
Peanuts butterfingers, butterfingers, but you know it also was good. If you really want to shake shit up, get you a kid's popcorn combo and take those little Eminem's that they give you and mix it in with the popcorn.
Yes, that's the Chico right, that's the Checo.
Yes, because you mixed the man and you get the sweet and you get the salty. The baby yes, yes, that's a hat.
That a hack. Okay, do you think anything?
In so Growing up? I used to be that girls. I mean, and I think a lot of it has to do with, like again, access and costs, right, I mean money, right. So when we were growing up, it was the idea of my mom saying, I'm not spending you know, twenty because movies, quiet as movies have always been expensive, no matter, no matter when, no matter how you think about it, movies have always been costly, even when seven dollars was like, this was just seven dollars
for a film. Seven dollars for a film was expensive at that time. Yeah, So my mom was always like, I'm not spending because it would be me, her, you know, my cousins, we would all want to go. She's like, I'm not spending fifty dollars for a movie and also spending stuff, you know, on on popcorn and all that and stuff. So we would sneak candy in, we would sneak sometimes food in. My cousin was notorious for sneaking in like chicken and sneaking in rice.
Like.
She would have full plates of like food that she would pass down to us. Auntie Landa May I love her, but she was hood and she made sure that we had everything that we needed when we went to the movie there we have potato salad, we behaving watermelon. It was just a lot of stuff that you probably shouldn't be eating. In the movies, we would be eating like a full meal. And I love Yolanda for that, I
really do. But other than that, we normally would just sneak in candy from like seven to eleven or something. But what about you?
You know, I always think about the scene from Tire movie where Brenda brings like a whole she wants, like a whole Picnica Sun, not the ship I aspire for. I don't be great. I live, but like and like, that's what I fire for. I don't because I can't have like a bag or someone right and like and like and like, and I'd be like, mom my, mom, pushing your purse. I'm not putting this my purse. We're not walking like that. No, I'm not now that I don't.
I have my own bath, so I will hardly bring some I one time.
I brought wings in. I brought wings in.
I don't. I don't do is tell me I'm not being wings like.
So this is this is a good question. This is this is something that I I go back and forth with people about this. I know AMC has like the dining and whatever. I think their food is nasty, but I also just don't love the idea of like eating while I'm trying to watch a movie. And again, I'm not yucking anybody's young. I'm just saying like the thought for me of like trying to focus. Like sometimes when I eat, I like to.
Be foods, the food, the phocus of the film.
It's films, no food.
I'm not here for. I'm here to have I maybe a little sacky pousa movie.
I'm gonna eat before after. That's like the probably the whole experience.
We're gonna eat before or after the movie is.
Part of the experience when you eat, like you have dinner before you or have a stack before, then you have dinner afterwards, and you yeah about the movie the film like like like that, like that's that's the social contract that we all signed when we came in here today. Do not don't fuck up the flow by saying, let me order me a burger?
Why are you eating in the movie, And people and like people like I.
Know because because like dinning, movie theaters are like a bigger different states, and like like I remember the first time I heard about my dad.
My dad was in Texas visiting my brother.
He was like, do you know the theaters have like donning options, like and like and like and like the like they had they like a waiter, they have like a table in front of them.
And I was like, I don't want to do that.
I want to I want to recline.
I'm not I'm not trying to like shove a burg in my mouth the whay I'm laying six inches backwards, like I'm gonna do that. Also, go and pay for burger there.
There's no chef. There's no chef there making.
It every time. And I've I've been in a situation before where I was starving and I was just like, oh, you know, fuck it, I'll just do it. I'll just get a burger. I'll get I think I actually got some wings. I think this was actually when Black Panther came out. I was in Boston and I remember that was like I think the first time we started releasing AMC doing like the full rollouts of like the full restaurants, and it was disgusting. It was probably the worst set
of like boneless chicken wings. It was like I literally, actually, I'm never. I'm never that girl that's gonna send food back. That was one of the times that I did because it was so nasty.
And it's prime occurring up we had, we had it was a it was a century theaters. The prime was I would get I get a medium popcorn muse because they had Starbucks outlet and that I lived. I was like, this is the height of luxury. Moga up and some popcorn and just like that, That's why I'm there. I'm not there too, like no, because I'm already paying twenty buch for a ticket. Is That's the thing the dining
option movie theaters. The tikots are EXPENSI anyway, i'thing twenty bucks for tickets were a bunch of ticket that I'm paying for a meal. Girl, It's gonna be Jason for cheap.
God damn day, right right?
So okay, last question is what are your thoughts on what are things people do in the theater that drive you insane?
Let me tell you first, because why is.
It go ahead, go ahead, Why do you come the theater sack?
Why you call that part man? I'm trying to move this film. Why are you colling the whole time. I can't hear ship I yap sometimes I love I love to yap, but my yapping is about this is about the move, about the movie.
While I hear a conversation about you and you and your hook up earlier.
I was just about to say that yeap about the film.
This is a share experience, girl. We both pay to be here.
If we're both saying don't go in there, girl, I love that for us. Don't don't don't go in there, girl. And you're like, girl Jacob last week, ate me out, why are you here? Go go the phone and go go home, like yeah. Also a children don't Yeah, you know I I we have said that child you can be quiet, don't bring Yeah, I'm sorry I don't.
And that's also partly why I don't go watch like I know, Elo just came out and I was like, I can wait till that comes out on Disney Plus, because I genuinely just don't want to have to be like I don't want to be that person that ruins another person's movie experience because my movie experience was ruined because they have kids. So I'll just watch.
Babies babies there. But but I like a baby cannot say still and I don't. I don't live.
If my parent, why are you here whatever?
In this age of Beyonce is streaming, we don't need to do that. You can watch that home. It's gonna be okay, Like and I'm so sorry, Like I'm not trying to be anti parents or anti kids, like like have your kids and or something you want like do things in your life for sure, but like if like if you know your baby's gonna be crying as it should be since a baby.
Why is this baby in the why you got a baby in the bar? But no, I agree with you wholeheartedly. And that's why, like I said, there are movies that I know are like movies that I know have like a kid tinge or like targeted for children. I just say, screw it. I'll just stay home and watch it because
I know I'm gonna be irritated the entire film. But I think the biggest, my biggest pet peeve these days the people who are on their phone the entire film, Like if I can see your phone light while I'm behind you, why, like why like literally this is an hour two hours you don't need, like if it's that dire you don't need to be here, Like if it's that dire that you need to take glued to your phone in that way, you need to be outside. You need to be at home watching this on your television.
You don't need to be in the movie there. That's like my biggest pet peeve is people who sit on their phone the entire time.
Of the foch Like, why you pay to be here?
Why did you be here phone?
Why did you pay seventeen eighteen twenty dollars? It makes no sense to sit on your phone, literally, girl, make it make sense.
So yeah, that's my biggest girl. Okay, well none of you nobo me if she got y'all in the mood to head down to your local theater and shot you know, you.
As a girl who who has who has.
Her phone on or has a child with them, We got to take a quick bick and come back with y'all. Fir a segment in just a bait.
All right, y'all. So this week for my yes man, mom my no man, Pam's they are semi direct, but they're also kind of all over the place. So it is what it is this week for my yes man Pam, I I genuinely just wanted to shout out anybody, anyone. So my yes, ma'am for this week is anyone who is continuing to fight the good fight and holding people in power accountable for all the bullshit that they see, whether it be folks sharing stuff saying call your you know,
your senators, or people who are you know. I had a friend yesterday who had posted on social media she was she had made a whole bunch of signs, and she was just walking around her neighborhood, you know, telling basically because she had seen ice there. She had a sign and basically it was saying like, you know, keep ice, and then as you know, as people came up to her, she would hand them the signs to like walk with her. And that was like something I thought was really cool. Right.
It's just, you know, we're at a time right now where everyone is doing the best that they can, and I think instead of, you know, I know people can be doing more, but I also live in the mind too of like there are people who are doing the best that they can and doing what they can the way that they know how, and so I definitely wanted to just give credit to those people that are like I don't know what to do, but I know I
need to do something. So I'm going to do something, whether it be start a podcast, whether it be go on a podcast and use the platform to say something bigger, you know it. Like I said, being outside and just walking around right like today, I have on a shirt that you know, has a message that I'm probably gonna be wearing tomorrow and it basically says, I want for you what you want for immigrants, like that kind of stuff.
As much as people don't people think, oh, it's just performative or whatever, it sends a message and it lets other people know that, you know, even even in the moments of like you feel like you don't know what to do and it feels like everything is crumbling around you, just do something is sometimes enough. And so I definitely just want to give people credit for doing whatever that they can in this moment. My nomn PAM is actually
a twofold when they are not related. I'm gonna start with the first one and then I'm gonna say my last one, and then I'll throw it to you. I definitely am in the mind of you know what, I'll say. This one I think is the important and then I'll do the more more not important one second. So my first first one is I just want to say, fuck Trump, Fuck Ice, fuck anyone and everyone who let did he
get away with his bullshit? And any other person who is supporting folks like Diddy, like Trump, like Ice, anybody like I just like hard stop anybody who's who's who? Who's with the bullshit? I'm just I'm over it. Fuck y'all.
That is.
That's literally all I have to say. And I could go on for hours about how I feel about everything, and I know it won't necessarily help, but I definitely am in the mind of like, if you, if you, if you are okay with this, what we're seeing and what's happening. Like I've said earlier, you are part of the problem, and I really hope and pray that nothing good comes your way. Now, the other part of what I wanted to share, which is very very forty year
old me, like Grandpa, get off my lawn. These stupid kids with these motorbikes that I'm seeing, I am done with them. I hate them. I think they're stupid. I think we there should be licenses like so. And this is the the reason why I'm saying this, Like normally, I'm not the girl to come on the mic and just be like, oh, I'm gonna y'all about this really,
you know, really stupid thing. But I was at Lax and as I was leaving the other day, there was a whole mess because someone was riding one of those motorbikes the wrong direction on the like the street where all the busses come, So all the buses had to stop because that person was riding the motorbike and wouldn't get off the bike. And even when the police were like trying to chase them and get them off the bike, they thought it was funny to be like zooming in
between buses and things. And the other day, as I was turning into my garage, a kid zoomed past me, and I'm like I could have hit this kid, Like I just I hate them. I think they are so stupid, and I really do believe that there should be like you, you should have to have a license for them because people are so what's the word I'm looking for? Y'all are dealing with me coming off of COVID, so a lot of my words are escaping me. But like it's
just it's reckless. I think it's the right word. It's very reckless how people treat their lives on those bikes, and so I just I'm I'm over them. I really just wanted to say, like, it doesn't make any sense, and if you are going to use them, please have some damn sense when you do use them, Like come on now, like you literally are putting your life in in someone else's hands because you're you're zooming past them on a street full of cars and buses?
Are you? Like?
Are you? Are you? Are you stupid? Are you dumb? Literally? Like that's literally how I feel every time I see someone on them. So yeah, that's where I'm at. What about you? What are your yes ma'am's?
And I'm a yes ma'am. I aw, I'm not trying to to find it. I'm like, I don't know what's a yes man anymore. But no, I'll just say memes. Some are funny, yes, yes, like some are great. Some I'm like, noah, I enjoy this, This is hilarious. People are funny, and then they're creative and they should be they should be celebrated more boo boo mm hmmm. I will never write for la boo boom. I don't understand there.
Okay, you know what. Thank you everybody. This has been a fantastic run. This has been a fantastic brind This will be the last episode. Sorry.
Yeah, you'll see us. You'll see us both on our new shows.
Uh that.
Separately we trash talk each other.
What is it Seleno and Barnes, not as me and Seleno and Barelen.
I still believe I'm probably gonna get trouble for saying this. I believe that who was the one that died? Was it Seleno who died?
Who are?
Okay? So Selena and bar So, I'm gonna put you up on on on games. Seleno and Barnes, they were a like law firm, and I think they were friends. And then when they split, like I guess, they suit each other and split and it became the Barnes firm. And then I think it was it was Selena who died like a couple of weeks later in a plane crash. I believe that Barnes had Seleno killed.
Okay, this is John Recker saying that if we break up, he's gonna have taken it out.
No, I'm taken out that happened, and I truly believe in my heart of hearts that Barnes had Seleno killed allegedly. I have to say allegedly because I don't want nobody coming after be allegedly.
You here, y'all, they gonna get me, John, don't get me. Get Me's gonna allegedly get me.
No, No, I am not okay, So I done it.
I don't see if boo boo. I just don't. I don't understand what people are besize.
But no, I yucked.
No many, Oh my god, I have more here, and then I have one there, and then I have another one and then have more upstairs too.
I live. Yeah, but no, man, Pam, so okay, so have a small This is for people who really must understand the purpose of pride and the movement of pride. And this was born out of a conversation I've had in San Diego where people feel like pride is supposed to be a space, a beauty and love, an inclusion, and also came to this space where also came into
this space. I may comment to this couple about how I was like, I don't think straight folks want the pride and like it was half choking and they're like one person a couple was like, I can't bet you would say that it was you know, I was like, I was like, I was like why and she was like and it was.
It was.
It was a lively couple.
And so one of the wise was like I think the one wise was like our community, so our community is so exclusionary, Like I can't believe you would like want to be exclusionary as well too, like should should be about inclusion and like you know that you live like like like we need straight allies And I was like, sure, we need straight allies for sure, but like either they belong that pride or belonging or belong in my game?
Up right?
Are they fine to come?
Yes?
Do they belong?
No?
I just I'm so sorry, I tell you, and like I will have been going to air saying this, like I do not believe that straight folks like but like like but like belong there, like it's not probably it's not about un love and inclusion those women their pride, sure, but like that I guess like prior the inclusion, that's the battles inclusion of queer and transphobes, right, and we're not included in actual life beyond that, like, like the entire sur pride was not to be a space of union love.
The entire surpride was to literally fight.
I guess the system that want is to not be publicly and like, I'm so sorry you think otherwise, but like that's the like like facts are facts in history is real, and you need like you need you need to like understand that baby girl, Like when Marcia threw a bass she did Marcia and Marcia allegedly you know the whether it's real or proverbial. The birth that was was not a brick for unity and love. The brick
was saying I'm tired of this bullshit. The biggest Gaga pride that people don't understand sometimes I think it's lost on them. The biggest Gaga pride is that many cities that have that have pride parades how to parade while under the survivance of police, which was the exact system that borne the revolution of pride in the first place. So tragically, babes, no pride is not about edity and
love an inclusion. It's about survival and resistance and me in love are like you're right, like you're wrong and and the people want to be my DMS or email us about how straight should be in pride. I please, I welcome the conversation.
I really, I really do.
But like there's like I don't have many I don't have many straight friends, and I don't I don't believe that my life is worse for it. I just don't believe. So like, like, what does the system of straightings have to offer me?
Nothing?
Right? Nothing like like I do. I have straight friends and I love them, yes, right right, but like like like like and I'm not saying that I don't like that. I'm saying, you're straight, don't don't talk to this not what I'm saying, although I could, because to be honest, how many straights are like you're you're your queer, don't talk to me? Right like but right like I don't. I don't. I don't need the trope of I have a straight best friend and they and they and they
and they have a gay best friend. That's not the bridge building I'm trying to do, girl, But that's not my bridge ministry. My my my bridgemaining is about like like it's about Richar dynamics is often seen as is others ultracized or killed.
How chances is murdered?
Like when when when straight folks.
Like like ride for us.
I am happy to say, come to girl, I'm having to say, I live.
I live in a queer area.
Tell me.
In this city that is roughly let's say like thirty forty miles long.
I have one mile of.
Quickness and you have thirty nine miles of straightness.
Yeah, why do you have to be here?
Like why? Like why do you have to be here?
That's the question. Like you, I don't like, you don't what are you doing here? What do you have?
You have? You have safety everywhere else?
Yep, I have.
We had to fight for this area to be here, in this art brother town. We had to fight to have our own like gay bars and queer spaces, queer un restaurants, like like like I am, I really am, and like I don't really like I'm not Like I'm not saying that we can't be an inturgrace as its not in at all, right, and like my ideal world and my deal world is.
Some people would say segregation is good.
I'm just saying some people. Some people would some people would write like like like like like my ideal world is a world in which like, yes, like que it's the same time, and literally like no one's bothering whatsoever. Right, that doesn't happen, No, that doesn't. It still isn't happening in many places. So like, until that is, give me my pride and give me my give me my my queer areas.
I think so again, And I know we can stay on this topic for hours, but I think there's just it's it's frustrating to me that I think that there are people who can't understand and can't comprehend when I say I want my own space, I need my own space, what that really means. It's not that I'm excluding you. It's this notion of I don't get to feel safe. Like twenty three hours of my life, I'm constantly worried about my safety. I'm worried about my my well being. I'm my mental capacity.
Right.
So in this hour that I'm with queer people, or this hour that I'm with black people, or this hour one with queer black people, where I'm telling you, as a straight cishead person to stay away, a white person to stay away, for for you to say, oh, that's that's problematic that you know I should be able to have access like you are. You are literally doing exactly what white supremacy is.
I should have access, I should be Why should you have why why should you maybe have accesses you should have? Ye?
I'm sorry?
What?
Yeah?
I people like who look like us, who have the of us have never had access.
Nope, and and still don't. It's still just.
Should simply because what right or like or like like because you because you say you love gay people, you should.
Baby, the war is not but your love is not going to keep us safe. And that's the thing I think people have a hard time understanding.
Like and if you don't know you don't fight for us, you actually don't love us, like like I like if you think if you think that like saying hi to us and giving us a hug, like it like shows that you're dancing with us, Like yeah, like you cannot.
I think I think that this is this is where it is for me. You cannot participate in our joy.
And think that that's enough. Yeah, Like you cannot say I'm your allies simply because you come to our to our parades, or you or you occupy space in our bars, right or like like or that you patriot our restaurants like are those good things? Yes, and you should, but don't feel like don't feel like you're a good person
because of its basic human decency in that part. If you aren't at our protest, if you are on our marchist, if you aren't talking about the lack of access we have Jennifer and care, if you aren't talking about like like that like, we may lose a right to we may.
Lose the right to Mary. If you weren't talking about that, you do not love us?
Well, no I would even I would even go further. You know, I look around. So this idea of like people in positions, you know, it shouldn't always come back down to capitalism. But the reality is that a lot of queer people are suffering right now and are worried about what their livelihood is going to look like in
the next couple of months. And if you are an HR person and you're saying, oh, I'm inclusive or I'm a and you only have two queer people on your team, you are the antithesis of someone who is causing a problem in our in our society.
Right.
You can't it can't just stop at the idea of Oh, I'm going to go to Pride and it's going to be you know, I love queer people. I want to celebrate them. Nah, bitch, get to work. Like you need to be looking at systems. You need to be looking at things around you. You need to be looking at all the stuff that you interact with, anything and everything
you interact with. You need to be looking at it as a cis straight person in this moment, in this moment, you need to be looking at it and saying, how can I use whatever access and privilege that I have to fuck up this system that's continuing to keep working, because that's really where it is. And we are and we are literally as as queer people, as black people, as queer black people, we are literally fighting tooth and nail to keep what little bit of liberty and what
little in liberation that we have. We are all fighting. And so now you're coming into Pride and you're like, oh, I deserve to be here, and it's like, na, bitch, like that, ain't how this is gonna work. And and and I'll say this and then we can wrap. You know, if you for folks who are listening, if you are in spaces with queer people, if you are in spaces with black people, if you are in spaces with anyone who is marginalized, and their tone or their energy seems
pointed at this moment, let it. This moment is not about you. It is not about and what I say about it, Yes it is. But what I mean is for you to be like, oh my feelings and someone sends something to me and it hurt my feelings right now, I hate saying as well, fuck you. Like literally, we are at a place right now where it's like we don't we don't get to rest, we don't get to feel good, quote unquote when all of this stuff is
coming down. And like I've been saying, at the end of the day, this is all going to impact us, regardless of how anyone looks at it, right, Medicaid stuff, this, all of this shit is gonna impact us one way or another. And so if you're in a space with a queer person and they say something and it and it doesn't rub you the right way, eat it, sit
on it. Because the reality is is like, this is not the time for you to position yourself to feel like we have to in your straightness, in your in your pride and privilege that we have to center you. So that's just where I'm at with that. I think you're very valid and what you're what you what you're saying, my friend, thank you. So yeah, anyway, all right, this has been a great I will say this is probably one of my favorite episodes. This has been a great episode.
Please send us your thoughts again. We're open to them. We want to hear you if you got something to say. If you don't agree, we'll read it. We may even mention it on the air. We may not, but you can send us your feedback and your emails to Blackfatfempod at gmail dot com. You can also send us your thoughts for your social media by interacting with our posts on Instagram and Blue Sky and threads. I handle it is Black Fat Fee and pot Queen Joho. Where can the doss find you?
Of course you can find me Johannah's across all socials. You might find me being stone in the streets, touch with my whole random that's okay, my website journey on dot com. If not that, you can find me cussing out anybody who speaks to my loved ones names. Nothing is having particular for me to say this. It's like there's any reason why I said this. I'm just saying, y'all know now, I'm not the person to be played with.
Do not speak. Do not speak on my loved ones. It will end badly for.
You, girl, not being like Candy. That's my mama, that's my mama. One thing Candy gonna do is ride for Mama Joyce. Yes. As for me and mine, you can find me down to ww dot doctor John Paul dot com, or on socials at doctor John Paul. Like I said, I'm on Threads Blue Sky. You can also find me on Instagram, maybe on Facebook. Sometimes I'm on Facebook, you know. I also want to shout out there are multiple I'm done with this book tour. It's done. We're done, we
are done. I do want to say though, that there are virtual book opportunities coming up. If you would like me to be on something, please reach out. If you are looking for speaking like this is and this is I want to say this, This is the perfect time. If you really are that girl and you're like, oh my company is rolling back, or oh we don't have the funds. You you you are, you and your organizations
are the problems. So this is this is the time for you to really show up for people like myself who make so much money off of speaking engagement and doing this quote unquote good work. If it's good work, find the money for it. But all that to be said, I am open to speaking engagements now that my book Tours is done. I also want to say that I believe that a lot of this is a scheme that Todd set up to hit us with the bullshit. For those who get it, you get it. For those that
don't don't. But all that to be said, yes, it's just it's a very interesting time to be alive. And for those who rock with us, thank you. And for those of you who aren't who are listening or hate listening, because we know we have hate listeners. We know we have hate listeners, thank you for listening to But hating us is not gonna make you any make you feel any more better about your life. I just want to
throw that out there as well. Anyway, all that to be said, we want to thank our producer bay Wang, super producer, I want to put that out there are super procuor bay Wang for handling all of the logistics with the show and everyone over at iHeart Media who continues to keep the show up and running. We also want to thank our producer, slash editor, slash uh, visual artists, whatever you want to call, Chris Rogers. They are literally the bones of this show. So thank you Chris Rogers
for everything that you do. Without them, we would have no audio, we would have no visuals. Down to the tubes of you, and thank you for everybody who watches the youtubes. I know I've had friends mentioned to me. They're like, oh, I'm watching it this weekend, blah blah blah blah, and I'm like, oh, y'all be watching. Okay, no, that's right. So thank you for watching. Thank you for the comments. We love you down over at YouTube. This
has been another show. Stay black, fat, femine, fabulous, and remember what, Jojo.
We may not be your first tante Surpride, but girl, throw a brick. You need to anyways.
I know that's right, throw a brick. That's literally you know what. That's gonna be the tiple episode Brick. The title of the episode is I Got.
Minds right here, y'all, I got minds right here.
I'm screaming. I love us for real everybody, y'all take care of y'allselves. Will see you next week. Love you, bye bye,