That Dopamine Hit

friend to the show Travail. Last week we went to bo Jangles as you both, as everybody knows Me and Travell both were perusing around creating change, and so we decided one of the days that we both didn't have none of you were like, let's go get somebody. So we went to Bojangles because they just opened it in Las Vegas, Nevada. Oh and for those that don't know, Bojangles is like starting to take over like the West Coasters. Actually, like so they opened I think there's one that is

finally open in Las Vegas. But they also have another location that they're getting ready to open in Las Vegas and then from what I understand, and I don't know how real or true this is, but they're saying that. I guess like two or three are supposed to open

in LA in the next couple of months. So anyway, we decided to go to the one in Las Vegas, and girl, we got in line and as me and Treval were looking at the menu, I'm looking for the chicken chicken, right like, I'm looking for the chicken because I believe their chicken is the best chicken. And you know, they only have the audacity to have tenders, only chicken tenders. Chris insert a gas Yes, well.

first wall problems first world problems. But my god, I just I definitely need Like I wanted to put my Karen Wig on and say I want to speak to the manager, but you know, we were already there. There was nothing we could do about it, so I just wanted to go ahead and just say, like, for my West Coast folks who have never been to Buljangles, please do not let that be a representation of what I

believe is the best chicken in the world. If you are, if you are from Atlanta, from South Carolina, from North Carolina, any of the Carolinas, any of the South, you know how good Buljegles really is. And it's just it's a shame. It's a shame show we didn't get to celebrate the chicken the way that we deserve to be. Anyway, girl, enough of my ramblings about chicken.

The task will be there tomorrow, task will be there next month, but you may not be if you if you don't the little health day, girl, take it now, because I am, I am this close and you can't see my fingers, y'all, but they are they are not, but it's sent them in your part. I am this close to a mentv y'all need to take the day. Okay,

take the damn day. Take the day to day. M girl. Yeah, AnyWho In tradition, to celebrate our famous, famous, favorite famous girl, Miss Tishy Campbell and the fact that somehow, against all odds, we are still here even though we're we're about to get legislate out of existence. I want to I want to start off the show by asking what's something the current you, what's something in this current moment? The old

you was proud of the current you. Four Okay, old me, it's proud of current me for not letting myself water down my feelings. Amen. Amen. But I used to be a oh it's fine type of bitch m hm some of my feelings or said something pocket out of the bitch that's like, oh it's fine, it's no problem, when it was in fact a problem, te and current me is like, actually, no, it is a problem.

It's really it's actually my fault. It was not my fault. No, it's actually not my fault, fault, it was actually not my problem, my fault, my problem with my worry. It's actually your worry. And now it's a problem. And now I'm gonna be a problem for you.

I'm a little pissed off. Yes, that's what that's giving me of like when you when you used to be that girl to be like, oh that's okay, that's fine, that's not a problem, and then just after a while you start thinking about, actually, you know what, that did piss me off? And I'm actually gonna talk to you about it because I'm not gonna let it eat me up. I know that's right. I know that's right, you know.

So for me, I'll say this, I had a moment this weekend where I easily could have flew off the handle and the currently handled it.

from it. I said, damn, really grown. Like it was like one of those moments where I was standing in front of the elevator in my hotel and I said, you know what, I'm really really proud of myself. And it was like the old me looked at me and was like, I don't know this, bitch. Yes, it was just and it was over something that I don't want to talk too much about it. But again, I used to be that girl that was notorious for flying off the edge and being like I was ready to go

off on anybody and everybody for anything and everything. And in this moment that was like the first real time that I caught myself feeling like, no, handle this in a very you know, adult I'm not gonna say like not grown, but handle this in an adult way.

to add that. So yeah, I just, like I said, I was literally really really proud of me, Like when I like when I took my shower and I laid down in my bed and I turned on my iPad to watch my Netflix, Like I genuinely was just looking at myself in the reflection of my iPad screen and was like that, You're proud of you for how you handle.

normally would, But we're not. I wanted to chat this week about something that I think everyone in their mama is talking about, but I wanted to kind of put a spin on it, just because I feel like I don't want this conversation to be the old, redundant way, like like, yes, we could sit here for like what twenty thirty minutes talking about DEI and these models and you know the importance and why we need them and

blah blah blah blah blah. But me and for those of you who may not who may be living under a rock. There's been a lot of companies, specifically companies we know and love, that have given DEI the boot, And while I think it would be important for us to go through that and to talk through that, I actually just kind of been putting this together, and me and Joe Hoop, we're talking about this, you know, prior to us recording it was, you know, we really wanted

to talk about something else. So I wanted to ask the question this week, knowing what we know about DEI and folks getting rid of it, I wanted to kind of put a spin on it and talk about capitalism and performative inclusion, and I wanted to chat surviving capitalism as an intersectional queer. So with that being said, now some of you are probably thinking, or you're probably you've probably heard you probably hear this, and you're like, capitalism

and being an intersectional court, what the fuck? Like, what

the hell does that mean? And what I mean is is that I think we have made mentioned several times on the show that we believe that how we got here, specifically in twenty twenty five is mainly because of capitalism, and so I kind of wanted to like throw that out as kind of of a thought of like, how did we get to this point of these companies getting rid of all of this stuff, and how like capitalism fed into that, and then talking through kind of like

really just having a real conversation about like this moment as much as everyone's focusing on, oh, this man in office is doing this and these companies are doing that, how all of this kind of ties back to a bigger issue around capitalism. And I think that's something we've never really addressed on the show. And so yeah, I just want to tell if you have any thoughts before we kind of jump into, you know, kind of the education of it all.

cost of our own people. Because to our country money is our is our one of our expressions of power. And if we can increase capital or our money, we can create a society where big companies run everything and we can inflex our power to everybody else. We also manipulate people who live in this system to constantly consume so they can articulate their own power and standing in the mimistry that they too are a quote unquote forced to be reckoned with via their participation in capitalism. So

it's a gross system that prioritizes individualism over everything. There's no sense of community systems, which I want to name because if we're talking about, you know, how we survive as queer people, right, community is rooted in our culture as queer people, and this system is inherently empathetical to that.

to be able to help your community. Right. And we talked a lot about this, maybe two episodes ago, right when we were talking about yeah yeah, where we're talking about the eating fires and community and the need to help everybody, right, there's still this element of capitalism even in that because you know, as you all probably know now, it's been almost a few weeks, the fires are still burning.

There are still fires burning in southern California, right, And now you have these people that are you know, they're trying to figure out how they're going to put their lives back together. And now there are companies that are swooping in that are saying, hey, we want your land. We'll give you this this amount of money for you to sell your home to us. And it's like, I can't even process the pain of losing my home before having to worry about all of the dollar value of

it all. Right, So it just a lot of it does feel gross. And I think that's been the thing that, you know, while I'm answering my own question, I think it is so important for us to understand and really kind of stand behind this notion of the idea that these big businesses and I say big business, and what

I mean by that is not just like housing. I'm talking about all of these businesses, specifically the businesses that we see that are stepping away from DEI practices or that are ultimately saying, let's turn down quote unquote, let's turn down the identity politics in this work. They're doing that because they recognize that to purport themselves as socially aware also has a bottom line too, right, the bottom line.

And when we really talk about all of this, this is the thing that I often tell people right to your point, Joho, it's all about power, right, It's all a power It's a power game. Right. And so if you can, if you can make the most money as a company, and I tell people this all the time, it is expensive to do the right thing. That is what we're seeing right now. Companies are not divesting from DEI, not exclusively because they don't care about pleap. They never

cared about us in the first place. They never cared about black people, they never cared about LATINX people, they never cared about queer people. They don't care. The thing is is that in order for you to do the right thing as a company you have, it's gonna cost you a lot of cash. It's gonna cost you a lot of mullah paola. And in this world, there is no equitable way to make money or stay rich unless you recognize that being rich is about upholding a certain

level of privilege and access. So that's the thing I think I kind of really wanted to get into. And I know you have some thoughts about this, Joe hoo Wright specifically naming that a lot of the capitalism that we see a lot of you know, these companies are saying, well, we're gonna roll back the DEI of it all that. Yeah, it's it's it's just racism. It's built totally on racism. It's built on a system of racism. And ultimately, I can I just say this on the mic and then

and then I'll let you go. I was sitting with this the other day and I just was going, like, we like, I think we keep forgetting to name that just this entire it's not even just our country, this entire world is racist. And and and I'm not laughing because it's funny. I'm laughing because I'm just kind of like I don't know where I don't like, I don't know why we're wasting so much air on and talking about like, oh, these companies are doing I'm not gonna

shop at targeting. Maybe everybody's racist. Everything is built on racism, period, So it's like I don't even know why people are surprised but not don't let me, don't let me get into my head about that.

Like it's all, it's all racist. There's an art whole by her name is Elizabeth Kennedy for Pro Market As focuses on the headline is to build the eclabo economy, we must understand capitalisms racist heritage, right, they write, creating anical society requires us to examine understanding the history of capitalism and its reliance on racialized oppression. There's this other part in the in the which talks about like like

the the has about the upbringings of it. And there's another line that says other countries cannot compete with a nation that couldified a cast of workers as non human and legalized violance as a management technique. So like so you know, so like the idea of making bodies as commodities, particularly black bodies, other immigrant bodies as commodities and legalizing station lines against them as a way of management like absolutely fueled our like like our our rise of capitalism.

There's also another quote end that says whether capitalism could exist without racism ignores as as a story. Walter Johnson affirms that there was no such thing as without slavery, like like they actuallygnize this could it whether it exist or not without without racism now does not do the like still has to it still has to be present to the fact that there's capitalism when I is this without slavery in the first place?

capitalism as slavery. A lot of you've heard black people, specifically black women, for years say I got this big girl job, and I've gotten this job and everything fell on me. So now it becomes my job to do everybody else's job. And and you know, in the in the organization or the company. So like the idea of and again, I'm not saying that we shouldn't have any practices in our companies. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is is that there is this idea that

and and and it's frustrating because it's also too. Like someone had posted and I know, I'm all over the place because you have a million thoughts. I saw someone post that white women your DEI too, and it was yes, you are.

do we do? How do how do we work through this right of knowing? Like you know, But but I think for me, and this is the thing I just said, like, there's there's no equitable way to be like to consume

like that. That's just and it's and I guess that's the reason why what I wanted to bring to the mic, Like I think, you know, I see all these people that are saying, oh, I'm not going to shop at Target and I'm not going to shop here, and I'm not going to shop there because they're not And I'm like, baby, even without the even if they had all of the best d I practices, they are still participating in capitalism

and there's still no equitable way to do that. So my thing becomes like even if you say, well, I'm not going to give them my money because I want to make sure my money is going to the right place I'm going. Baby, how everybody is participating in this system in a very, very gross way, because that is how the system is built. The entire system is built

for it to not be equitable. So you know, no matter what you're saying, Like even even like I said, even if they did uphold their DEI practices and continue to do so, there are still upholding systems of discrimination and the ways in which business feeds into that. There's like there's just no So I guess that's a good question. Can I ask you, do you believe that there is an equitable way for anybody to consume? Okay, we ask your big questions today?

like of like what's also happening and why? Right, Like many of these companies roll back their DIA policies after after the court ruling in twenty twenty three, twenty twenty three that that basically ended a formative action, right like many of them did. That wile of action is its

impacting like essentially essentially di I in schools. A lot of businesses are worried that this that this like like a lot of the reasons why whether whether these companies want to want to do or not, right, like, part of it is because it's being it's being it's being illegalized.

And so if they continue to do these things, then like they can get sued and then they they could like some organizations will say we'll take the hit, and that's great, right, some businesses are not our seg we can't do the hit because we're like them will close all our banches across the across the country the world, right and then no will have access to this place. So like so I use that just as like not

as a not to give businesses a pass. So not like I'm not saying the past, but I also want to be but like like like it's not it's not just that Seals woke up and Dane said, oh thank god, Trump's here, we can just roll this ship back. It's it's also kind of the to to cover their own ass in some ways. And so I think you put about echoable consumerism. I think like at the at the end of the day, many of these organizations still many many these businesses, Like, for example, I saw there's an

interesting point about Target. Right, a lot of people were like, fuck Target, let's boycot Target. But there are a lot of people who were also like, Okay, but there are still great black owned brands or minory own brands who still rely on their partnership with Target for their income. And that partnership with partnership like requires people to go to go buy their stuff too. Right now, I think emitable consumerism would look like how is there a direct line to that brand instead?

much stronger brandanity. Right, So, what are ways in which in which we can also like, we can also do that and and I and I and I juxtapose this right with with Ranchesca Ramsey's you know just because the last last episode, but with her point of just just because being as a minority own does not mean that's

that's that's inherently great. And so I think, right with them of equable consumerism, we have to think of how do we support like our people in distributing great products one right, how do we support those products that maybe cut out a middle person who like like like who can who?

You go, let's be honest, y'all. You go to a nicety restaurant that's farm a table and the prices are thirty bucks for play dinner, and you're like, I'm not paying the bucks to this play dinner, right, Like we also are like mad about, well, we gotta spend twenty money on stuff?

part of this is also your own mindset. Like, right, I think people, we're seeing that the systems around us, the systems runners are not built for eble echable consumerism, and.

And in that at the same time, the onness also is on us to figure out a different way to participate in a different formal consumerism because we know that the systems around us are not built on purpose by design to embrace a lens of echable consumerism. So I think your question, like, is there a way to do it? I mean, I honestly don't know how. I think part of it comes down to how do you how do we invest? Well, let me rephrase, there is a way how, but it requires a lot more risk from us than

there is reward. And I think in the day, as humans, we're all hardwired to like have risk to have reward. We all want the low dupamine hit because our or the culture that maybe not all humans, but Americans as our culture, as our culture gives makes us do right. Our culture har wires us to say we want to have the hit of pleasures and pleasure and instant graviication. And so are we willing to write like are we

willing to forsake Amazon Prime delivery in two days? And you know, like like and use this black owned marketplace brand instead too. But people don't want to sacrifice convenience, and so I think, like, it's just a really hard way. I think I think consumerism only begins truly. I believe it only begins in like smaller intentional communities, right, Like

I only see it how in farmer's markets. I see it only happen in like in commune like style places, right, like those places as models where you actually can begin to practice the level of echeable consumerism. But it's a lot of work to do that as well too. It's

a lot of work to do that. So it's yeah, it's hard, and I mean, obviously I don't have any clear answer, and I'm not saying I want really clear I'm not saying whether these things are right are wrong, And I'm not trying to drag anybody like I'm dragging myself.

None of same thing. Like I also, to to fortake convenience is really hard, right, But what I think about a lot is like, right now, I live in a place where can access many things by foot, and so my privilege is that I can be a bit marketable in my consumerism because I can walk to places, not to dry to places or have things delivered. I can walk and do those things myself, which is amazing. You know. For example, right like John, like you like you live in an area where you can't do that.

let's let's talk about me for a second. Right, let let me put myself out on front Street, because like I said, this year, we gonna be a lot more forward about me per se and and and I feel like being a little bit more vulnerable on this show is really helping me kind of process some things. So like me and my partner, we go, Okay, well we want a bigger place, and we want this and we want that, we want more space. Blah blah blah blah blah. Okay, so we move into a bigger place. But now the

gag is everything around us. It takes fifteen to twenty minutes to get you, so that means you have to have a car. But also on top of that, there is no but there's no there is no outside of a state of Brothers, and outside of maybe an Alberton's, and outside of a Rouse, there is no there's nothing else around me in order to quote unquote consume, right,

So I have to drive to Target. Sometimes to get stuff for my hair, I have to drive to Target to get you know, a shirt or some clothes, you know, if if I want to look cute for something, right, like for my partners. You know, we had a like I said, I had a death in my family. What I wore too that event was And this is the other gag of it all too. Let's talk about if

we really want to go there and this. These are the things that I'm like I said, these are all of the things that I'm constantly thinking about if I want clothes, especially being a big girl, I can't just walk into you know, a Forever twenty one or or high a more high end company to find something to wear, right like I have to. I have to order it and wait two to three weeks.

do harm in anything that I do. But the system is so set up, and that's what I'm I guess that's what I'm trying to say. Well, with putting myself out on front street, Yes, do do I want to ignore Target? Yes? I I there there might be moments of me where I'm like fuck Target because of what

they're doing or because of what they've done. But by design, I'm set up to be like for Target to be that only line for me right now, because there's not even there, Like I said, there's no other place around me at this point that I can drive to outside

of a target. And especially and this is what I'm also talking about time, right, how many of us really have the And so this is what I'm trying to say too, because I know that there might be people that might be listening and being like John, you're looking for outs, You're looking for ways to talk about it

as if you're not holding yourself accountable. And I'm going, Okay, if I was to sit down and try to think about that, how like there's so much time in trying to like and again, if it was easy, we'd all be doing It's That's what I'm really trying to get at.

This shit is made this way intentionally for us to be like, well, we have to rely on Target, we have to rely on Walmart, we have to rely on this Amazon for things, because if we don't, if it's not done this way, then we're pretty much you know what I mean, Like, we're pretty It's made this way in order for us to feed into it. That's literally what I'm trying to say. And so the gag becomes like, how do we figure out a way to disengage all

of this stuff? And again, I don't want to ignore the DEI of it all, right, Like, yes, the DEI of it is important, right, it is important for us to hold these companies accountable and to say, well, you said you were going to do this and now you're not.

What the fuck is going on? But I will also say that there's still a part of us too that has to sit with all of this and has to say, what are we gonna do to make sure that we're not putting all of our eggs in the baskets of companies like Target and the companies I don't know who else, or send it their DII, like I mean, I know Costco still has it, but I'm just what I'm saying is it's like we can't keep looking to them as being the end all be alls for everything that we

do and everything that we need.

like you could do more in this way. But in the day, again, I live in a place where I can literally walk to do all those things right myself. So right, like my context is different than your context. So that's and like like and like that's a matter of the region, which I the different regions in which we live, you know, the like the ways our lives set up, the ways we want different the ways we want different things, like and so it actually does it

actually does me? Does me no justice? And does you know justice for me to sit here and like transrag you for it because like because we have like two different contexts of life and that and people really didn't understand that context really is really important for how people live live their lives. I think you know, you also may have made a point right of like like like

having a bigger space. And I think that's what I think a lot is capitalism in America, right, Really a capitalism's experiment or America's experiment was toying with the idea that we need more space. That's when that I'm grappling with a lot, right especially like as like a like as I as I own this condo and I think about, like am I gonna sell it? I? Am I gonna keep it? You know? Do I do I want to

buy an actual house? And like a bigger house, right like I like I like I I grew up in a house that was to me like a great size. You know, I'm not. I never feel like I need like a two story house or anything. I don't need like I don't need. I don't need to managine, I don't horrible like like like I I know, I know in my life, I don't own if if I if I, if I want to own a house, I want to own like a significantly home that is pretty quick. I don't need to have a big ass house.

then you've made it. But what you're sacrificing is the ability to have a close relationship with your neighbors, the ability to have like, you know, people in your yard with you to do stuff with. And you were told not to do that because that's que unquot more dangerous. Right, Really, it was just about the idea of they didn't want people to mix with other with the races in the same cities.

own veggies and stuff. Right, I would love to I would love to live in a place where maybe it's a complex that has a community guardian that I can

be a part of. Right, Like, that's the thing that I want that will make you know, what what's most pleasing to me would be would be that style of like of living and and and that and that is like how I that's like one way that I would want to try and break away from the confines of capitalism and you know, capitalism and consumerism or you know, make my make my oppression much easier to navigate and deal with. Is that I live in a space where I feel more communal around me. Yeah, but like but

that's also really not easy because this are expensive. People have to be have to be people to be on board with you, Right, how often do you need to know your neighbors in the spaces and spaces and so like you know, like like like it's just it's all like I think it's not about the idea of having out.

Let's say, it's a de recognizing like if if someone's telling you that you that shows Matt you for trying to have an out, It's like okay, but like why like why is it john'sponssibility to fix to fix these systems.

but I cannot ask anybody. Some people feel for people that they can say, yes, I'll die to do what's right, and I and and I get that bias. I want I want to ask. I want to die like like for that because if they die, then how they keep doing what's right? Right? I that's just how I see. I want ask anybody to die for that work. I will say, let's put let's let's let's let's risk things together, you know, let's risk safety together. But I don't want

to be able to risk their lives for it. Some people will and people doing it, and I and I think I think there is like FIRS, there for sure is a there is like I get white people doing it, and there is like a reason to do that, but I don't find joy and I don't and I don't find like to me, like, I don't think you're morally

morally superior or more righteous to do that. I think like, what's more, what's better is that we find ways to get you to live and break systems and the brothers the brother than die your break systems.

do the best that you can when you can. And I think that that there there there are some things where you'll equal, you know, there there are some active ways that even for me with my dollar while go I'm not going air, I'm not shopping their I'm not I'm not spending my money there because I know, like, for instance, hobby lobby, you could not get me to walk into a hobby life. It is very clear, and

it is very now. I don't know what other people do with their money, but I know for me and for mine, hobby lobby is one place I will never spend my dollar, right, But I'm thinking to myself like that is there there are some things that I can say I could go without that I don't. I don't ever need to shop there because I I mean, it's not gonna make or break me, right. But what I'm saying is, you know, someone can say, well, you can

make the same thing. You know, you can make the same notion for Target, And I'm going, Okay, you know, if we're where I'm at is this we can't keep talking about stuff and not providing alternatives. And that's where my my heart is right now. If we're going like collectively as a community, I would love for us to start having these difficult conversations about, yes, where people are putting their money, who they're putting their money behind, blah blah.

We can have all of that, but let's also have the conversation of what is the alternative?

There is no Walmart around me. Sis where I live, there is no Walmart. I would have to drive twenty five thirty minutes away to get to a Walmart. And so now I'm looking around and I'm going I barely have time sometimes to eat, like I'm rushing to eat today, and I'm going so twenty five minutes to drive to a store because I'm I don't want to give my

money to Target. Girl, If you don't get the fuck up out of here with that, Like I'm just saying, like I know, like I know, and I know that this conversation will probably have some of y'all ready to type on them keys and you'll probably wanting to send us messages and you want to send us your thoughts, and you're probably even saying this conversation is problematic. Yes, I wanted to lean into this conversation because these are

the conversations we need to be having. But what I'm saying is is that if we're going to critique these systems, right, we've got to come up with a collective alternative. And that is the thing I guess I'm trying to inspire with this conversation is like, we as a community, what are so? And again, if you if you've got issues with I don't want to speak for Johamas for myself, if you've got issues with me going to target, I need to know the alternative. That's That's literally all that

I'm saying. If you've got an issue with any form of capitalism that either one of us participate in collectively as a community, I would love for us to start entertaining alternatives that actually are going to move the needle. That's where I'm at.

just think you know where I want to. I want to engage these conversations because I don't feel like there's enough nuance in them, right like, And I'm not saying like again, I want to make it very clear that I'm not saying I'm gonna I stand for Target, and I'm gonna go up for Target, and I'm gonna go up for for all of these No, fuck all these companies, Fuck capitalism as a whole because it is damning and has done a lot of damage, and it has hurt a lot of people and it's going to hurt a

lot of people. That is the thing I want to make very very clear that I'm trying to be on the right side when I talk about this shit. But I also want to make it very clear that we live in a system that has intentionally made it hard for us to move away from this stuff. So my thing becomes, if we're gonna stand on business and we're gonna talk about all the things we should be doing and all the things that we shouldn't be doing with our money, specifically with my money, with my LLC, with

my ten ninety nine. I want to know what the alternative is. And I'm not telling people to jump on the keys to write me a dissertation about what the alternative is. I'm just asking us to engage that before we go to somebody and tell them what they they should be doing or what they shouldn't be doing, Like, make sure you have a very clear cut plan and objective to say, because again and I and I and I agree with you. So you tell me don't shop at Okay, And I keep using Target as an example

because that's the only thing that's coming to mind. Because we are recurring, we are recording very early, so I have people, you know, I think about this kind of Like you said to Francesca's point, well, just because it's it's it's it's minority owned doesn't make it a good company. Okay, So you tell me don't shop at Target, don't shop at Walmart, don't shop at any of these big retailers like Amazon or blah blah blah to get your stuff. Okay, is is the alternate just as good? Because I want

to know. I would like to know that, like that is that is literally where my head is, Like so, and I mean, we can beat this for hours, but I'm just saying, like, I think we all have to

just be very careful. I guess that's my point. And in wrapping up this segment, I think we've really got to be very careful about what advice and what thoughts and what things we're telling people to do and not do with their money, especially right now when so many of us might not have a lot of it, Like there are a lot of people who are who are really struggling, and it's like, please don't add to the stress that people already have of being like now I

have to feel guilty for just trying to survive. And I think that, like I said, this, this whole high horse piece, it ties right back into capitalism. That's literally what it's. It's it's intended to do so. But anyway, I don't know if you wanted to add anything else before we move on. Little okay, anyway, all that to be said, now that I want to sell everything I own and move into a commune, we need to take

a break and collect my things. But when we get back, we're gonna talk about what's on our plate more an a bit.

this question. I have thought, my god, I know you you let the bag or you let the bag, and rightfully so rightfully so so I would say for me, my the thing that I consume too much of, I think is like coffee. I will go out of my way. I will I will show up late to a meeting, I will show up late to a game. I would show up late to anything. It means that I can go out of the way and give myself a little treaty by give myself a little a little coffee at

some local coffee shop. Do I have a pressmaker at home? Yes? Could I make my own espresso at home? Can make a latte at home? Yes? And for some pounds I do? But like, well, yes, and yet I keep deciding to say no, let me just go out my way and buy this thing. Right. It also comes down to, oh, I don't have the time. I like, like, I don't have time to get the beans out, grind the beans put in the thing like I'm I'm gonna have time

to do all that? Right? I could I have a grindeary of all the things, can be all the things I need to do. I can make my own syrups if if I want to be that bitch, I could make my own syrups. I don't know how to do it, but I rather, Oh, I just go and support some local coffee shop and pay ten bucks for this little decaf latte for twelve ounces at half of it is eyes and be and be on my way. So even though I'm a girl, why I will literally I would literally be literally. The other day I was I'm a

way to a meeting I was. I was four feet from parking, right from the office. I said, let me go, let me go and get a little treats real quick. When I came back, see.

not googling. I was on my uh maps app detailing how far it would take me, like how long it would take me to get there. And then I was like, okay, well it takes technically forty minutes to get there, So that means I need to leave fifty five minutes ahead of time, so I have enough time to slide through the coffee bean to get me to give me something to drink by Mike, because I have a coffee bean

right next to where I'm going. And so that's literally like so I'm right there with you, because girl, I'm notorious too for putting an extra time and being like how long will it take me to slide through.

is is fast fashion. And I say that there there's it's it's kind of like a like I would love to really be like okay, like I like I, I you know, I could go here and I can go to these other places and buy stuff, but I also know and kind of taking a page out of Jade's book. So you know, I listened to Jade and XD and I know that was something that they talked about last week on their show. They were talking about like the how how much we're ruining the earth because of fast fashion,

and I know there's a whole documentary about it. There's a whole documentary about, you know what, the ways that

we are ruining the earth. And when I say fast fashion, when I'm talking about it's like shan and what I'm talking about is also like Forever twenty one and you know, H and M is also a fast fashion brand, like and it's not to say I shopped there all the time, but there have been times where I have said, Okay, if I'm going to buy this one thing, I'm gonna buy it in every single color like and then that's

something I do. And the reason why I do it is is because it's like, well, if I can get this one thing in this size, and I know that I have multiple versions of it, it just makes it easier for me along down the line. If I have to like get dressed, I don't have to worry. I don't have to worry about not having something to wear. And it is something I think a lot about like you know, am I part? And there are other things too, like you know there I was just telling Jojo about

something I bought that I probably shouldn't have bought. But it's one of those things of like I'm trying to actively slow down and tell myself, like, girl, you don't have to buy that shirt in six different colors if you're not if you're only gonna wear it probably two

or three times. And so I try to be what I'm trying to be more into Joo about is if I'm gonna buy all of these clothes to try to make sure that I wear them regularly, or that I that before I think about going out to buy something new for an event or for a conference, or for a show or whatever the case may be, that I wear what I actually own. And so and it's hard.

It's hard because we live in a world and I say we mean meaning me and Joho, where we're constantly in front of a camera, or we're constantly at an event, or we're constantly running around with people, and we want to look good, and so in your mind it's like I want to buy something new, but you also feel bad because you know you're feeding into the system again of capitalism, and so that that's something I'm trying to

be more intentional about it. Like, girl, you don't need that, you know, you don't need that dress in like eight different colors. Get it into two and wear it until it starts to tear. That's really it.

are openly loving on their queer and trans children. I often see, I wanna say often because of the work that I do, I have a lot of parents who are hitting people in my org or literally coming to us and saying, hey, how do I do this for my child? My child is scared, my child is dealing

with this, you know, what do we do? And it's just, you know, even when a parent doesn't know what to do, I think it is so it makes my heart feel so good to know that there's a parent out there who's trying, you know, like that there's a parent out there who's like, I don't know the right way to do this thing, and I'm going to ask for help with it. But at least I want my child to know that I actively see that the world is trying to harm them, and then I don't want that to happen.

So I just really wanted to shout out any parent who is out there. And I say parent, not just in the idea of like you birthing a child. I'm saying if you have taken in your niece or nephew, and you recognize your niece or nephew is trans and you're raising them and you're wanting to do what's right for your niece or whatever that means anybody who was doing their best to protect and love on their clear

children right now and into eternity. Right But I'm saying in this moment, I just I want to say, like, I see you, and I salute you, and I definitely think you're the reason that you are one of the reasons why I just I appreciate what I get to do and what I again, what I get to do through my nine to five. And for those of you who don't know, I work for a children's organization in my nine to five when I'm not on the MIC, I work for a nonprofit that focuses on queer and

trans youth. And so I don't want to say the name because again I don't want people coming after the org, but I definitely do want folks to know like I see them, and I see the struggle, and I'm definitely there with you, all right. So for my no man, Pam, this is a very simple thing. I just I've I've noticed it over the years, but I'm noticing it a lot more now. People who don't walk their dogs with leash with a leash? Can we can? We can? We not?

Like I know, there's bigger fish to fry. But my thing is, like, I just I don't comprehend why, Like, why is it so hard for you to walk your dog on a leash?

He's school. I don't give a damn if you think your dog is cool. I don't know that dog. And he was like a rock riler. He wasn't a big one, but he was a rock whiler. And I'm like, can we not, like just put him on a leash. I don't want to have to suit you. I don't want to get bit But yeah, I just the people who try to, oh he's he's a cute dog. Oh, he's sweet. Put your damn dog on a leash. I don't I don't care, I don't care. Please, So that's that's it. What do you got this week? Says?

for him? You look so right now? Yeah, like that's just really like y'all got about his policies and you vote for him. That's just what happens. You do. Clown ship and clown shit happen. So that's it now, I know, ma'am, Pam is okay. So this is this is a bit serious people, serious people. I understand people are like people are posting about what to do with an ice rates

happens happens around you, right, And I get that. I think like information sharing is great, that's what be mindful, like we exist, we still exist in Surventance place, and so I'm I don't think it's so far fascial that

people are watching you. So if you're posting about things to say or do, or you're posting things like I won't give my neighbor up for an ice raid, right, that's some point that your neighbor might be documented and that could lead the ice to your to your door, and like what are you gonna do then when they

atkal them your door? So like I will be really clear of like be mindful you post about ice because you could really being engaging people around you as well too, Like I don't posted anything because like what I'm not gonna do is in danger with people that I love at all, Right, what am not gonna do? I'm go to the information and say work, thank you. But like some like sometimes the information sharing isn't always the best thing. Send it, girls, send it and send it in a

message to somebody. Don't post it on your story because sometimes I actually could lead to for the nature of other people, especially if you're if you're acknowledge that you may have someone in your life who who is who is Who's? A documentar can be impacted by eyes and then like that could can I'm not saying that's your fault. I'm saying, can you contribute to them being discovered? You don't want that, so really be mindful of how you share things. That's really it.

to make sure that we're protecting our people? And I think we need to do more of that. I think we really need to get to a place where we're actively organizing and we're not organizing online because obviously that's what we're giving a lot of We're losing the plot, like we're giving a lot of people a lot of information that they don't necessarily need. And I think it's kind of like, you know, yeah, I have a feeling that I'm gonna get a lot of heat on this episode.

But I ultimately was saying, like I believe, like that's the only way for us to Like Harriet Tubman didn't tell people where she was gonna be and where she was gonna go. Could you imagine Harriet Tubman posted alone, I'm gonna be at this Like no, Harriet Tubman moved, you know, like like a you know, she moved in silence, like a gee and Lasagna, like she knew what she was doing. And I think we need to get back to that. We need to get back to the old days.

I'm not saying that all of their ways were the right ways, but I personally believe we need to get back to the days of the Black Panther Party. We need to get back to the days of Malcolm X. We need to get back to the days of the organizing and silence because because that's how we're gonna make true change. I feel like we're giving away to you know, we're giving away too many of the ingradients. We're telling

too many people what's in the sauce. We still don't even know all the ingredients in KFC's chicken, you know. And that's for a reason, right and and and I think that's what we need to get back to you. So, yeah, Joe, you got my mind ruminated. But I definitely wanted to say that on the mic. All right. Well, with that being said, uh, who my god, what an episode. Please send us your thoughts, feedback and emails to Blackfatfempod at

gmail dot com. You can also send us your thoughts via social media by interacting with our posts on Instagram and Blue Sky and also along the metas. I don't know how long we are gonna be on the metas. It's just what a time, What a time to be alive. I just keep saying it every day, every day I say that at least one here, what a time be alive? Mm mmm hmm. Anyway, Queen Joe Ho, where can the dolls find you?

the fifty six days of my book release. And so please, if you have not purchased, feel free head over to my website to to buy it. Other than that, you can find me on all the socials, including Blue Sky at Doctor John Paul dot Blue. Other than that, it's at Doctor John Paul everywhere, all right. With that being said, we want to thank our producer's Bay Wang for handling all of the logistics that happen around this show. I tell you there's you know there. There are a lot

of moving parts there there. There are a lot of move a lot of moving parts, a lot of people at creating changes. Ask me, how do you how do you get into the podcasting world? Honey? You got to have a solid plan. So thank you to everybody who keeps us up grooving it and moving down to the iHeartMedia. Same thing. Chris Rogers, we want to thank him for being a wonderful editor and literally for just keeping us

together these last few weeks. There's been a lot going on and I'm very grateful to have Chris Rogers as an editor for this show. So thank you. With that being said, this has been another show. Stay black, Fat, feline, fabulous, and remember what, joho, We may not be.