The Black Fat Fem Podcast is a production of iHeartRadio and Doctor Sean Paul LLC. Hey, everyone, welcome to another episode of the Event podcast where all the intersections are Maddy, y'all celebrated, and I mean all of them. But I am one of your hosts, John also known as doctor John Paul, And honestly, I understand why ed Weena was always three seconds from yoking me and my brother up, because this adult and shit girl, this in this heye
in this moment of time? Is this moment like I knew the nineties was bad and the two thousands was was rough. Twenty ten even I was like, ooh girl, this is a lot. But twenty twenty two and twenty dance to the twenty twenty whatever they called him, now the twenty twenty five.
Get it, bitch? Why are we here? Wh Hawaii?
Is we here? Anyway? How are you joho?
Oh? My god, girl, y'all, it's your girl Jordan's Slash show.
I am in Baltimore the Study of Charm, And tell me why it is humid and wet, like, why is it raining in a degree weather? And why is it warm rain? Why is it warm rain? Like I'm not built for this life, and yet here I am. The city is cute. Also this morning, tell me about the weather. I've said any thunderstorms all week. Today was sunny in the morning time and then it was pouring rare in the afternoon time, and that it's just thunderstorms. Make up your mind, girl, what are you well? I will it's.
Cold here in California real quick. I just want to put that out there. It's like, literally, we've we've swapped weather, but go off.
And I will say, it is so green here, but the Baltimore is still all the all the the lush, greener red from the work from from the world.
Why the trees are damn green?
It's so pretty, like the trees is not just green in California, in San Diego, this day in green here and I love it.
But bitch, I am so tired. I am so Also, I am a I'm a a. I'm here for a conference.
Not forget just how much conference is be taking a bitch down?
Yeah, who will do it every time? But every time?
But I'm I'm still here here and I'm not.
On that note. Y'all.
We okay, uch we do every week we give me camel her flowers and are still here segment as on a side, I've been rewatching my wife and kids and Martin, and she really eats up those roles.
No one gives her her flowers, Campbell that.
She is the star of that shing is.
So to demonstrate that we are still here, I want to ask you, you know, we ask some questions about our girl Bee because.
We we we we.
We are here for bees is around these parts? Are you truly a part of the Beehive? And if so, if not, what what what lessons?
Doug lessons? See what I did?
There has been?
What?
What?
What? What? What? Dia lessons? What? What? Sorry? I make sure my mind is my mind is not working? Who what that? What?
What?
Lessons have there been? And being in the Beehive.
We talked a lot about our love for Beyonce around the show. We're talking about what but you know about being in a fandom and such. I want to know more for for us what that means for us? For me, I'll say, like, uh, I was I wasn't a Beehive member, probably until Lemonade. I always love you like to me b Days my favorite albums. Ever, I wasn't like I wouldn't.
I wouldn't like Bee Hive member, but Lemonade came out and I said, like even when people people go crazy were self titled, tis not it's not my personal choice. When the Lemonade dropped, I said, oh, oh, I'm I'm in. It's not it's not not for me vibes, but I do love you.
Do you love me?
The Lemonade that she is amazing, And so I think right by the fandom is that like when people love Beyonce, Like I don't know, like I feel like everyoneho loves Beyonce. Just free people love Beyonce, you know, Like I feel like the people I meet high.
People who like love me. I see I see a kit.
I'm sorry that was so funny to me. Go ahead, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry that was so funny to me. I don't know why.
That's yeah, Like I feel like that we have just like when I seeople want to be have I see people who like really love love of expressions, clebation. I think especially in the Bee I've now at like post Renaissance era and copy Coger, Like I'm seeing like all they have members who maybe felt like they were untapped, right like the queer folks and and and and and cowboy folks, and that just feels like that's just it. If the it feels so good, it feels so so
good now and so much. I love us, I love us fun me a fine hot let's yes, yes, so I agree. I agree.
I think being the president and CEO of the Beyonce be High Fag Club, I really think the Hive has really taught me this idea about why it's so important to protect your people, like I see like I'll see people say something out of pocket to beyond like about Beyonce, and the Hive will work together to not only take this person down, but also there's just this camaraderie of like we we protect everything Beyonce, her kids, her family.
We don't really protect jay Z, which is okay because lying really I don't really see it for him like that. But I hope that one day she don't ever learn that about me. I don't really like your husband, girl. Oh and he's cool, but he's not that great anymore,
very correct, says one of our producers. And so all that to be said that I kind of just eh, but when it comes to her right, we protect her I think for me it's this idea too, that her fandom has really taught me, this idea of like what it means to protect black joy, black artistry, black like creativity, black children, right, like the ways that I see people telling other white folks who critique Roomy and Blue to
knock it off. The ways that I've seen people write like really some really good stories about and again we're going to get into it in our next segment talking about the ways of perfectionism, how people really break all
of that down. I think for me, the work that comes to me is accountability, Like being in the Beehive has really taught me how to hold people accountable for the things that they say and do, and it really has helped me also to really check my misogyny and my massogyn the war that I take in because this world is trash, and I think it's just it's really cool to be a part of a community that really not only holds you accountable, but also allows you like
I was I was telling someone earlier today, like going to Cowboy Carter, and I know you're going to be going in a couple of days. And by the time you all hear this, we have both gone. We're just
we're kind of putting it out there. We're recording a little early this time around, but I was gonna say, by the time you all hear this, you know, even with Cowboy Carter still being on, it's really cool to just see the space that's been created for us to cosplay and not feel bad for getting into our our best garments and going to the tour and wanting to have a really good time. So I don't know, I just I feel like the behalf. Like you said, freedom
is a really good word. Accountability is a really good word, and I think both of them, both of those those concepts have really helped me kind of evolve into the bad bitch that I am. So yes, godness, So all right, y'all. Well, with that being said, while I go change my spurs and find some more boots and and and my renaissance fan chiad, I still don't know where the hell that renaissance fan is. We are going to take a quick break and come back with the category for this week segment.
We'll be back in a second, okay, y'all. So we are black and back, and this week for the category of a segment, we are talking about this concept of perfectionism. So I want to I want to posit this and say, Jordan has not been to the show. I said that earlier I have, but a lot of even like, this conversation is not specifically about the show. This conversation is specifically about the ways that the world has responded to the show and specific parts of the show. And so
I'm pretty sure you've already seen the clips show. You've seen the clips of of you know, blue dancing and the clip of Roomy being on the stage and people just going ham and you know, on the videos and on the comments talking really poorly about them, And it made me stop as I was as I was reflecting
on the show. It made me stop and think about this notion of how the world participates in the com like how the world feeds into the idea that blackness has to equal perfectionism, and the different ways that we talk about black freedom per se, Like, I feel like that word is going to be very salient in this conversation.
And so this notion of like black excellence and how daunting it can be specifically on our bodies and on our mental like even hearing people talk about Beyonce not dancing as much as she used to on the tour.
This notion of like why it feels like even when our children or black people like do the best or or do something really really cool, there's always someone that's like, oh, you can one up that more, you can do that better, and so it just you know, I just want I would love to like engage that conversation around perfectionism and how you know, Black excellence has pressed its perfectionist thumb up against your head, So what are some ways that
you feel, like, you know, perfectionism has shown up for you and like how do you really deal with that?
Damn damn?
Well, all right, it's yeah, you know what we do here. I like who I think they're Like there's levels to this ship, you know. Like yeah, when I'm like, wh I'm thinking of like blue, like blue and roomy, right, and like like when I'm thinking about them in the terms of how people are reacting to them in the show and the da of like black excellence and perfectionism, when I think of like first child syndrome, like I'm really curious about right, like right, like blue blue for so long, like.
Was Destiny's child?
Right, Like everyone's like like people people anything about It's like it's kind of like strange and manning, right, like people put a lot of pressure and emphasis on Blue like being the child and still do right And and you really see in Renaissance that I watched the film when it was in theaters, right, how much Being has talked about that as well too, like she hasn't had a struggle like how I have.
And I don't want her to.
R and how she was disappointed when someone had let Blue see the comments about her after the first show of her choreography, and and yeah that also made her like work hard and stuff. But like but you know, like oftentimes, right, like the first child takes a brunt of the ship from the parents and that and the subsequent children get to be more free in some ways, you know, And so I think that's that's like that
that's like one layer. I think, like, you know, innocence looks like looks different for for them, right, like like like like seeing me looks so innocent does and does write but Blue also like but Blue also always came out like like I always think of what it was like I want to say it was like.
I don't know, is it the Grammys or something, but it is this her parents.
She's like she puts the hands on them right right, Like Blue has also always been manager, always been manager, has always been you know, and you know, and I also so I also wanted to write like like I I forget how how her prendances with Blue was. I remember her talking about their her pregnancy with me and sir, how challenging was for her right and how and how like she as a backmen she was actually was endangered still like with the with like lack of proper like
you know, healthcare and so you know. So I also wonder like like like did that impact to her of like these kids troubled to even get here, so like so I like, like I want them to also feel that they'essent right, we see a lot of roomy but not a lot of sir, like, like where's certain all this? I think I also have questions too, you know, and like and I'm not trying to spend as much time talking about like people's kids.
I also was wading to tell people of kids like this as well too.
But I think if we were like like I like, I see them as kids, and I think like the idea of excellence and perfectionism. People so like people are like Blue was so amazing, Blue is so dope, but it was also twelve years old. And like, as much as I think Blue was amazing, yeah, as much as I'm stopped that lose hitting the choreography, much as I'm like Blue, like you know, like and one's like in two more years, she'll be at her mom's level.
In two more years, should be fourteen. I do not want her to be I want it.
She shouldn't be.
She wants too good for her.
I'm happy for her, like I want Blue to also just to be a kid, Like I want Blue to like not feel the pressure to do that either, and like right on their upholding the idea of like a black child should be like right, blush out of the most arguably powerful person in the world culturally is more held to the standard of like having to be perfectionism.
Yep, yep, yep, yep.
You know so I think about it, right, So you know, we if you've listened to our show or if you've
been following our show, we did a conversation. I forget what episode it was, but we talked about Cowboy Carter and one of the things we did is we did kind of a breakdown of each of the songs, and even with sixteen carriages, right as as I listened to sixteen characters, like, there's a part of me that's like, I hear what Beyonce is sang in that song, and I feel it so much, And I pray that her kids never have to feel that right like I never.
I pray, I actually pray for all black kids to never have to feel that song per se right, to feel like they had to give up so much of their youngness and their youth, you know, to be to work right like Beyonce is sanging that song right Like, I'm basically on the road helping my family. I'm helping my family get out you know, I'm gonna say get out of poverty. Because we know that Beyonce didn't come
from poverty. But we also know that Beyonce's parents, you know, her mother gave up persal on, her father gave up his job. I think he was an insurance broker something like that. And literally they basically said, we're gonna pour
all of our energy into Beyonce. And yes, they were in a privileged place, but the reality of the matter was like in order for Beyonce felt like there was this thing on her at the age of like fourteen fifteen years old that she had to be perfect and be good at it all so that way she could help her parents and lift her her family up. That pressure is something that we all feel. And so I that's the reason why I positive this right as a talking point for us our show, because I see how
we do that to black kids. I see how we do that to black youth specifically and making them feel like and again, and it's not just a black issue, right, I'm just you know, obviously this is a black ass show, so we're going to talk about it from the black person.
But I think marginalized kids in general we have this onus of feeling like we have to always excel in every single thing that we do because the white eye, like the white people are looking at us, the white people are going to critique us if we show up half as good to it. And so that's you know, that's just like I said, I think there's two things that are here. The expectation that we put on black creators, children, artists, all those things because we know that we're better than
the oppressor. And knowing that the oppressor will never be able to touch us with a ten football. And then we have this thing of how they constantly how youth black youth are constantly being told that nothing they do will ever be good enough, so you have to work
twice as hard just to get as far. Even at my big age of forty, I still feel that, right like, even looking at our podcast numbers pressure that means you have talked about off air of often sure that are you know, we've got to get the awards and we got to get our numbers up it. We got to do this. And I know that that's not coming from I want to make that very clear in case you know our team is listening, right, I want to make it very clear that this is not coming from iHeart
per se. But there is still this idea of when we came into this, right like, if your show is not good enough, it can be canceled. And it didn't come from our team. It just comes from the world that we live in as black people and black people that if your show is not quote unquote the best show ever, or it's not the most the most awarded show, it's not a good show, you know, And so I just you know, I hate that we're here. I hate
that we're here. I hate that the world keeps projecting their insecurities onto a seven year old than an eight year old and a twelve year old child, you know. And I want to be clear too, the reason why we don't see Sir, I want to make that also very clear. It's no shade. The reason why we don't see Sir is because Sir doesn't like the attention. And I think that's the reason why we don't see him. It is because for whatever reason, we don't know what
the full reason is. But Beyonce has said, Sir is not roomy or Blue. Sir does not like the attention, and they honor that, and I love for that.
Which I think is I mean, like like lately greate parenting. Like again, if you watch Renaissance, right like Blue was asking to be on stage and Beyonce was like no,
like I don't want you to be on stage. And then and then Blue was like, let's negotiate, girl, I want to be on stage, and Beyonce said like if you want to do this, and you can do this, and like then like okay, girl, do it, and like see what happens right and like and the and then obviously when people coming from Blue Beyonce was like, I hate that you saw this and I always sing but Blue Blue was like, Noga, I got this and it has come out and slayed the game every single time,
which I think is like super super dope. But I think, you know, like like I appreciate the parenting that they're giving of saying but because like it'd be so easy as famous parents to then try and profit off their kids as well, which I which I love, because they're saying like like.
We don't need a profit off of our kids.
Like they're like we profitable already, we don't need to make more off of our kids, and we refuse to make them. We've refused to make them perform and let's be honest, perform for the white gays like like they just don't just make make make a book right like like she like like she she she she even said she went said in her song, Boss, my great grandchildren already rich. That's a lot of it was a lot of children on your Forbes list, like she like she is like I taken care of my my my family,
fat family for generations. Now they need to do what they want to do and not what they have to do, which I think is have to really really really really politial, you know, which does.
Like leading to another question as well.
But but also why we walk back to your point about right, right, like like us as blot folks having if like we have to meet our numbers, right, Like we know that the country we live and exists in runs off of meeting your metrics. It runs off of metrics, it runs off of the impact, runs off evaluation, it runs off of us mediur numbers, and so like, yeah, it's a very real thing that we weekly are like, hey, what.
Can we do to people, to people to be people to be more engaged with us?
Right, even though our quality of engagement is so good, so many we have like amazing people who listen to our show, who who ride with us, who walk with us.
On our social media, who leave us reviews.
Right, but like but but but when like when when when when we get that one bad review or bad comment, or we get reading four stars and that five stars, or we're saying that we're not getting we're not getting hundreds of thousands of downloads, right like our minds like well, America runs off metrics and we're in the metrics, which is which is like so frustrating because then right then and then puts us in space where like we're like we've like we can't create because we want to do
it for joy. We got to create, like to do it for survival work. It becomes work, It becomes work. And so I think the other question I'm thinking a lot about is like like what one for the kids? But also usually for black folks, right, like was it? But I think especially for it for these like their children, Like what what does it mean for black children to be free to do things because they want to do it now because they have to do it?
But black children don't feel like kids? What does that look like?
You mean? And so I said, like I had posted this on social I posted this on social like literally the the like A few hours after I got home and I started seeing all the comments about Roomy, you know,
on on social media. I said to myself, I said, you know, I watch Blue and I watch Roomy, and I watch a lot of other like you know, I have a a friend of my Angelina Spicer, who is a comedian and she has a daughter, and I have quite a few friends who are like in the industry, My friend Jessica, right, my friend just you know, yeah, you know Jessica, just Marie Gercie, who's the friends on our show. She has a daughter, and I watch their kids.
And even though Jessica's kid is not black, she's she's Latin. Next, I still recognize that there's the oppression that is over their heads. Right, there's still this this this thing of you're you're you're a minoritized child, living, like you said, in a world that is not built for you and based off of metrics and capitalism and all these other things. And I just, you know, I think about, you know,
what does it mean to be free? For them? Is the idea that they can stand on a stage and jump up for joy and wave at people and have people wave back to them, and have signs that say we love you for them simply just existing right like they don't have to they don't and and so you know, and I'm trying not to get too deep into the whole, like fake woke, and I know what I'm talking about, and and you know, my educational back although I do have a degree to back up, I think about the
the gamut of like systematic oppression and racism, and the ways that black people only ever see markets, not black people, white people, specifically white systems. I want to say more largely, white systems only see us when we're entertaining, only value us when we're doing something to help them feel better about what they're not doing.
Right.
We love what you had to say, doctor Higgins, because you came in and said the hard thing. But everyone's not thinking about what my life is like when I walk out that door and people are making it hell for me because I said and did what needed to be done around that hard thing. Right. So I think about that a lot, Like what does freedom look like? Not feeling like they have to constantly be on right? So like I think it's like I love the idea that Sir is not in the limelight. Like I love
that when people are like, well, where's sir. We don't need to see sir. Sir as a child at home?
He is, he's.
Childcare provider, Like he's at home. Let him be at home. It's the same thing when my friend Jessica says, I don't want my daughter being on social media. Good No, I same thing about me. I don't want my nephew, like I understand, like I under like I I would never purport myself to feel like I have a massive brand and that I'm this huge or whatever. But I love the idea that no one really knows who my nephew is, like you know them because you pictures of
my close friends. But I don't want I don't want my nephew involved with a lot of the stuff I'm doing because I want my nephew to be a seven year old kid. I want him coming over to Uncle Johnny's house and not feeling like he has to duck and dodge and mind everything that he's doing, and that he can come over here, play with his toys, play with you know, play what's that video game that everybody plays? Uh no that?
But also oh okay.
Come up here and play switch and have a good time. Like I just I want our kids to not have to feel like we feel like I will be transparent and saying like I don't know how to rest because I've never been able to. I don't know how. And I'm sure you feel this too, like we me and you, like even right now trying to get this podcast done, we are we are always doing something because what does the world tell us if you're not working, if you're not overly stressed, if you're not over rod blocks, if
you're not that too. I'm sure if you're not you're not doing something. I mean, and I'm sure you hurt this as a black kid too. If you're not doing something, you're not productive, right, get up and do something. Why are you sitting down? Why are you watching TV? Go do something productive? And it's like, nigga, I'm eight, What like, go outside and mow the lawn?
Why?
Like I want, like, I literally want that from my nephew. Great, and when we go to Disneyland, get what you want, I'll give you listen to one hundred dollars just say I don't want my nephew like my nephew. I see him almost as if he's my child. I don't want my nephew to have to feel the way I felt growing up. You know. I want my nephew to enjoy.
And it almost makes me emotional because it's like it's so I just hate that we're at a place where we take this shit that we carry with us and we it's almost like it's I liken it to the idea I know I'm on a soapbox today, but it's like I liking it to Like so when people UH talk about, oh, well, I had to work hard to get my degree, so you should no one helped me pay my degree, so no, you should be happy that somebody got their degree for free, because why should they
have to fucking struggle in order for them? Like, it just it blows my mind that we take our stress and our oppression and we just drop it off on these kids and we and we normalize it like this is like the way that these people are talking about these children. It's not normal. So it just it really really makes me upset. I don't know I and like I know, I don't know them. I don't know their kids.
I probably never will, but it just it's it's it's really upsetting to me that I think that we we are so hard on kids who just want to have the Blue just wants to have fun. Let her have fun. I didn't get to have fun at fourteen. I was working at a fucking Shaky's. At fourteen, I was collecting tips because I was trying to help my mom pay bills. I didn't get to have fun. So seeing Blue up there dancing and having a good time at her age. Let her I didn't get that, you know. So that's where I'm at.
Ooh girl, that is.
I that so much in my spirit, and like I'm thinking, I'm thinking like some of different things within that, because like like wanting your kids be free, wanting them to not have to like be a part of the suppressive system that keeps them, that keeps them like tethered to like tether to obligation of possibility versus joy is so
so real. It's like I I like, I I think like it was what you say about like the like rest like never like like whenever I told me what I'm enough to, the people were like while like you do so much, and I feel like it's not enough all the time. I feel like I can't run myself to the ground and still be like it's not enough.
It's not enough, even though it's too much. And and and I'm as like, well if I do this work, like because I'm from not part of this work, like no one, no one else is doing this work right now, not that it's only on me or that on the end all be all for it, but like I often think like I'm i I am the one.
Driving this right now. And if I'm not the one driving this, I don't know who's gonna pick.
It up, and and and and frankly, the work is too important like to me to drop, but it contributes to like to my burnout, right Like, I wish I could trust that people could pick it up.
I wish I could trust that.
People like like like have my back and like so like sometimes they do sometimes that, but leave it and sometimes I don't, and so right like like, the conditions are not created for us to be able to rest in the first place. And so when someone someone's and and so when when someone's like when someone's got to ask me, like, oh, how do you find rest?
How do you find relaxation?
Girl? Find me a condition to do it, find me a place to do, like like you're asking you like you're at hello.
You address the symptom and not the cause.
I address the cause of that symptom, girl, And I can, like and I can and I can work on it, you know, And I think right like that begins at your childhood. That begins that like when you have kids and they have they have challenges, you address the stem the challenge, not the cause of the challenge you don't address like what actually the issue it's it stems like
stems from for them, you know. I sometimes like I struggle with like like you know, like I I struggle a lot sometimes with with like kids of celebrities, because part of me sometimes is like, okay, like these are you know, like right, like like's it's it's it's a it's a it's a double double it's short because part of me is like I wish.
Right, like like like like I'm like roomy.
Sirt and blue, like I wish they could just be
kids and partimes. And and sometimes I'm like okay, but they also go on like shoving vacations, right like, they also like they also do get to be kids, like like like when their parents are working, they're there for work, but like they also do get to be kids in other ways that like many people do not get to be kids, right right, right, And and that said, they all like they're also kids in a public spotlight, right And so the pressure they have for the work from
the from the world around them is also just like wild and intense, right, And I think it's like definitely microcosmic, particularly around there the the as we play like we
place on young black women. I also feel and I've been thinking about this a lot too, like a lot of people are commenting on Blues apparents and people have always commented on to parents all the way, and like and I will she was, I'm not shy away right like I've been mo those people like I've been want one more people who like like I hope she was like this not like this right and and and as adult, I'm like, oh my god, like why like like I'm not given have a chance to just like be a
free child, like right, like like I'm like one, I'm basing her worth of how she might look, which is already probacas in itself, right and then like and I'm saying she looks this other way she made not look as good or something I was thinking about.
I was listening to.
Uh uh Sequoia Holmes, who was on but who runs Black People Pair More.
She's a show on her sexem as well too.
I think it's like the the the deadly dirty she was talking about, like she she was saying like she was never she wasn't called beautiful a lot growing up, and so it's not part of her daddy right, and it's nothing. She doesn't think she's not beautiful, and and like like and she is right, but like but but she made a point of saying like, it's not my daddy's not tied to like my beauty. And so she was like, I want young girls to grow not feeling like they have they have to be beautiful to be
worth something. And I was like, I was like, oh, like what an interesting moment of like framing for me of like, oh, like I'm like I always come out, I always comment on like I'm come on, I'm coming on people's appearances of like oh, like you look thinner a ball, like like I'm always post like you're so studying, are right, And part of me wants to do that
partment is like, oh my gosh. I also don't want reinforce the idea that like they're like looking good or being beautiful for them in a way exactly exactly right.
Yeah.
I feel like in the case of Blue, everyone's like she looks so much like her mom, she looks so great, and it's like you're coming like you're comparing and beyond a child to Beyonce like that like that like that is that is how she kind of wild right like like and like, no kid wants to compare to the parents. No kid wants to be in their parents shadow because
they want to be their own person. And so I do have a question for us of like, are we actually are aren't we actually making it work for Blue by putting on this on her right, you know, or like like or by saying like, oh, like she nailed her mom's choreography from uh what was was?
Yeah?
Yeah, she like she she buy that choreography from from from she said, much like her mom. Give her two years, she'll be like her mom. No, like like like, let Blue be blue. Her name is not Blue Beyonce. Let her be blue. Let her let her be herself, you know.
And and I want to not to cut you off, but to your point, I think that's like that's the nuclear the nucleus of of what we're talking about, right, the the giving kids, specifically black children, the space to be themselves. Like I really want us to get black people in general, not just children but everybody black, right, you need to be able to be ourselves but children themselves. Yes, let them be they all?
And you know, and I will say I do like you get a question of and he know we do anything be and Jairman and say conversations with the kids as as are pretty talking about us around blackness, and and then I I also think I also think so like I think like even though it's beyonce.
Child, I I I think that's the.
Level that Beyonce and Jason now, the like no amount of protection that they have like socially of being their their child will could will keep Blue safe.
From everything in the world.
Like like I I absolutely do believe, like I absolutely do do believe Stale that like even even if she says I'm shah, that does not that meant that may not matter to a police officer in the field for some way, right, And so I absolutely do absolute which is also why like they are security up right there
when you know they're driven with other people. They only people only that they trust around their kids because like like they don't want to be in spaces where the kids be endagered in any way, which is yeah, yeah, so who okay, okay, fam, Well, now that we have told Blue ivy Andy haters, we're to go ahead to get there and how to kick rocks on the way, we gotta take one man, another quick break and past the cause, the cause of paying bills, that is, we will be back soon with what's on your plate?
In just a bit, can't you pay my benephone?
Boom?
Okay, fam, we are back and say want light and fun for what's on your plate? As to big girls to go to a lot of events and knowing that your events events were having some interesting food choices. And I'm here to ask you what's your favorite outdoor stadium, what's your favorite outdoor concert venue or stadium snack?
You know what what you should think have some of the best the best snacky booths.
You Yes, so I don't have a specific location. However, one thing about so everyone, I will say this, A lot of people give me a lot of like people. People always comment on my teeth. People are like, you have such pretty teeth.
Now, I thank you.
A lot of people don't know is that I also have spent a lot of my life with fucked up teeth because my teeth are brittle, and so I've had to have a lot of work done on my mouth because one of the things that I love to eat is popcorn, and I think I get that from my mom. My mom is a massive popcorn eater, and so am I. I love every variation of popcorn you could think of. I'm gonna eat it, and so I love going to stadiums and if I see they got popcorn, I won't it.
Especially I will say that Disneyland has the best popcorn. They put crack in that popcorn. I don't know what they put in that popcorn, but it's good. But a good soda popcorn is ever eat it for me. I'm a big girl. So I love candy. I you know I love candy and drinks. You know I love to go to the movie theater and put candy in the popcorn. I can't wait to get back from my vacation so I can go see centers and I can do that.
I can mix the chocolates and into popcorns because that's my favorite thing to do.
But yes, yes, no, no.
I would also say that I love a good so I'm a true so when you go to so Far and you and go when you get to the level wherever level you're sitting, I don't want you to out yourself from where you're sitting. But they have a little stand with a little cowboy cup drink uh there's like a blended mixed drink situation. I love those two, especially if it's a good alcoholic one, even though I don't really drink. I would have gotten one when I went to the show, but I can't have it because of
the sugar content and it. But that's also my favorite. I love a good mixed drink. It's because those things are loaded with sugar. And also if I can get a good hot dog or good chili dog, I will say Dodgers, they have some really good dogs. I will give them tip tip the back to the Dodger Stadium. They got some good hot dogs and a good coke zero, not diet coke. Die coke is nasty. I'd be telling the people that die coke is disgusting. Coke zero is where it's all right. Question of the day. Are you
a Are you a soda drinker? I've never seen you drink soda?
Okay, love this question. Yes, Yes, and no.
I I didn't gules because because I mean one, because like there were a lot of diatodas were growing up and like my like my parents were diabetic. So they're like, we're not going to drink sugar sugar, so and so I just never like, like, tell me, tell me if die bag parents don't tell me.
I diaba of parents in the house. No candies, you.
Know, no no things with sugars, but my grandparents. I I do like it depends like and I don't love alsodas like I'm I've never been like, I've never been like a mountain dew girly. I'm not a spread reality like it's not it's just like not my I.
I don't do who iced tea and iced tya. People love the baha blasts. I'm like like, but like I'm an I cigaret. I'm a lemonade girly.
I do you said?
I sy I know iced tea, iced tea, iced tea.
I do never get I could never.
I do appreciate.
I appreciate a crisp coke zero sometimes I do, I did, I did.
I do love root beer. I love root beer. No.
I drink a lot of the what they called ollipops, the allpop sodas they had. They actually love for soda is because because because you know, the lower your content, they're they're they're higher part of their their their pre biotics. And I let oropotics and I fuck those up. They're expensive as hell, but I do love those. I d down if I'm at a stadium. You know pet Co Parkingsan Diego. There's a lot of a lot of things there,
but they have there. There's just one place. It's a barbecue place that they exist outside of the Citdium that I love to go to. But they also have a sale in the Citdium and I love to go to them, but they're always so fucking packed. I often don't get stadium food because the line is just so damn long, like minds me too long?
Minutes to pay twenty dollars for all hot so long?
What we missed?
Go ahead?
Why I pay ten dollars for a human national hot dog? That that that that that pencil dick for.
A hot dog? Why am I this?
Woh?
I got so.
Hot in the straight My god? Yeah, we almost missed Beyonce standing in line waiting for.
I'm saying girl because the way, because the way, I was up. Because at restaurants I left for, I left for. I left just I was like, I need to get I need some drinks. I went to get some iced tea.
Right.
It took ten minutes of the iced tea mind you, my seat was like no more than thirty feet from the concession stand. So and I missed church Girl. The one song, the one song that I said that you really wanted to see.
Was because my dumb ass like, let me get some nice and the I see machine was broken.
Then she goes somewhere. Then then then then she can find the cup. And I said, I just want to hear your church door, right, And it was on her birthday show. So I missed her little little birthday.
I missed the whole thing.
What many of this like, I think I think I saw on on the silver screen, so I was I said, yeah, so like you know, I I'm not I think like I'm I don't do hot was popping that much either. I'm a nachos really, I love me some nachos. I wish it was different and better, you know, besides just the cheese and the plane around chips. But like it's fine, It's just that's it, you know again, like exactly it doesn't do. But again, like I didn't do like just
things I actually eat as a kid. So I'm kind of like whatever, now it's adult.
I'm trying. I'm trying.
I'm going to like the baseball games more and trying to reclaim, reclaim and joy like no, I can love my inner child and get this hot today and because you can, because you can, because you can, Yes, I love that for you.
I was last question, are you a gelopino girl? Do you depend?
Depends? I do so depends. I don't love them.
If it's like should cheese not chows, I don't love them on that, but I love them on the nacho cheese sauce notchos.
Because I want them in the I want them in the cheese. I don't want to see.
Them because the gelopino like feel right, feels like it's part of the sauce versus like yeah.
But I love me a girl, yes, but no, yeah, I love yeah, I will. I will bite into one if it's not hot. I I don't mind opinions if they're hot. If they're not hot, I'm just you. We all know that I'm not a hot girl. Anything too hot, I'm not eating it. So spicy is not my ministry. But I just wanted to know, just like like I said, every time I every time I'm on the mic with you, I learned so much about my sister. So I was like, I wonder if my sister actually but I always yeah,
I see, yeah, you do you do. Every time we've gone to eat, you've always got nice tea. I can't say that. Well. With that being said, now that you both have learned, now that everybody has learned a lot about both of us, we are going to take one more quick break to pay some bills, and when we get back, we're going to be back with your favorite segment. Yes,
ma'am and no, ma'm pammy. All right, y'all, so we are, as you all know, we're recording early this week because life is going up against both of our heads like a mama with a chocolate. But with that being said, in this segment, we again we give flowers or we take them away, and this week I want to give flowers, obviously to the Queen. We've been talking about her all episode and anytime I can give Beyonce her I'm going
to y'all know that about me. But actually I'm not going to give Beyonce flowers in the way that you think, because again, we could just talk about Beyonce all dan about how amazing she is. But I definitely wanted to
say I wanted to say yes, ma'am. And like I said, I don't want to give too much away for those of you who are waiting to go to Cowboy Carter, but the yes man that I wanted to give her was specifically just really about this idea of her, like the creativity around her and what I mean by that is. And as you, Joha, being a multi hyphenate, you probably get it right. When when we sit down and we think about, Okay, well we want to do this thing and we got to do this, there's all these logistics
and things that sometimes you have to think about. And for me it's like watching Cowboy Carter and being at the show. It wasn't just for me like okay, well, Beyonce's a great singer and she has this great song
and she has this great album. Okay, great, But then to actually like fully actual lives, like an actual show and have to think about every interlude and have to think about what the dancers are going to be doing in a moment or what you know, in this in particular show, there's a lot of props, and so how the prop's going to be moving and who's going to be holding what props and what's like there's just so much that goes into being a creative and and and
for me it's like, yes, I know that Beyonce has you know, grown grown money, money like she has long money, and so she probably has people to help her with this. But the idea that she sits and she hears a song is she can think about it and say this is what I see, this is what I want to happen.
Who can help me make this happen? It takes a lot of energy to do that, and so I just I literally just want to give her a lot of credit for that and just be like wow, like the fact that she pour and then also the fact that she's pouring into so many other creatives while she's being creative, because I've also like, I just found out that a friend of my reached out to a friend and said, oh, I want to do this, look for the next Kyle werk Hardershom'm going to Can you reach out to this
person to help me? And she said, Oh, that person's actually working for Beyonce now and their prices are a little bit higher, which again I expect or oh they may not have the capacity because they you know, Beyonce has them doing this thing, and I'm like, wow, that's really cool to know that somebody that I know on my day to day is now styling and doing some
you know, doing alterations for a really big tour. So it's just really cool to know that Beyonce is not just Beyonce, that Beyonce really is doing it for the culture.
So period.
That's just my take on it now. My nomn pam very simple. I'm just gonna say fuck so Fi. I the fact whoever designed so far can go straight to hell. It is the most unfriendly, unaccessible, confusing, gotdy, non inviting venue I have ever been to. I just I did you see did you see her at so Fi?
When you were?
Did?
I hate it? I? That was my first time at the Sofi Stadium and it was terrible.
I liked it only because so section I think three hundred is right at the level in which you and when you come up the first walking and so that was it was easy. If I sat anywhere else, I would be like, where the fuck am I going?
I was in one Hunter and I was I was abusing Rah Straighted and the guy recently, how you build it it? Yeah, it's terrible. It's so terrible. So for anybody that's going to you know, I know, like I said, by the time you all hear this, you are you know who else? The NRG Stadium is also not super accessible either. It's also very very badly built. But who am I? I mean, I'm just a podcaster. So but anyway, what are your guest? Ma'm'son no man, pass.
Find me a well but stadium?
I have no who the fuck like I can't find like I I just wonder like who, like y'all don't you don't you'll don't let urban planners build these things?
So who's building them?
Even though my room planners the ones who should be building it because they're the ones that have the thoughts behind urban planning?
Right, go off?
Who are we?
Who were besides just two bitches with mics? I guess y, yes man, Pam? Not okay, No, honestly my yes man, Pam. As I am running on fumes. Is people saying, girl, the terrorists like the way that has become locally our thing of like, hey, do you want to go out tonight?
Girl?
Girl?
I can't the tariffs? Hey girl, do you want to? So I can't the terrorists? Hey girl, I can't the terrorists go the terrorists. I've ruined everything and I live and I'm just like the terrorists, the terrorists, terrorists, And now no one can define what the tariff is. No one knows the tariff comes from. Everyone just says, girl, the terrorists. I can't the terarriffs, and I just I live sting down every single time. My nomad PAM is no. I will give up a file a form of complaint
with this later. But you know, I'm at this must multi day event and I'm.
Going to file a formal complaint later.
I understand. I understand security needs. I really do. I really do, but I.
Have I am seeing people being profiled for secure mind you from like people color security profile by security of color, and I'm like, how can provide your own people? Like the love of security is like I understand the need for safety and like I really do, but like there has to be a better way than what we're doing now.
It just doesn't feel like I think my point of like people I know are being profiled by by your place because they like look different or something, but like that isnt going to help make it more safe and like and also like I was just like actually actually actually sorry. Let me also say another thing is there's a there's a discussion.
About belonging in this place, and.
I'm sorry to round a little bit. I've been talking about belonging for the past seven years. Like I'm not saying that. I'm like I'm the purveyor of belonging anyway, right, Like I have a belonging like like injustice work years ago and people are now talking about it like it's a novel idea. And now I'm like, belonging is around for so long. Why are you just now approaching as if people have been shying this work from the heavens since, you know, since since the beginning of de I work.
And you're using belonging and staid of de I And that's robmatic because your work of belonging is not actual
be longing. You're discussing a nosion people like, for example, like I lunch to an event and like, like one thing I think about, right is like the there's there there's there are people who are still mask wearers, right, like to wear were mass of comforences and like roughly so for their own safety inclusion will say you're welcome to wear your mask, but belong But like if you, for if you're forcing a lunch for them in the middle of this giant ballroom that we have to go
to for the event, they can't eat because they're wearing a mask. Like how they unless they risk their lives to their mask offs to eat their food. Blogging would say, let's make it so you can go eat somewhere outside where you feel safer before our program begins. So we like, so we so we can, so we can do so we can do our program together afterwards. Right, Like that's what belogging would be. And so I'm like, y'all are y'allonging?
Knowing belonging is joputting in practice, right Like inclusion is saying white folks about folks can be in the same place. Right, but we're but but we'll only we'll only play white music. Belonging is gonna be you all, all all folks can be in one place and they all they all get a chance to DJ, they all get a chance to have to have the oscar and we're all we're all
discing to it. We're all trying all the foods that we have, Like y'all don't know what belonging is so stop saying it, Like it's just so frustrating to be in spaces. The conversations that one like are not pickable to actual life today and they don't actually fit what they're saying.
It fits like I want belonging for all the people, but.
It won't happen if we keep acting like what this is is doing at and like it just it.
Just makes me.
It makes me so very upset because there are several things like us and as someone who loves design programs, I'm seeing the pain points and like this could have been so different, but you decide to do this because because like you decided the majority is more important than like these people here by the day right now, the people the right, like the the the minority of folks like are the ones that will never come back and the end, And you'll keep building for majority until you
only you have you have?
Then do you keep building the majority until you.
Have totally isolated?
Yeah?
And you have no.
Yep that Yeah. I could go on for hours. I just I think a lot of people I'm gonna and I'm gonna keep saying it. I've been saying it. Niggas don't read, and I just want to make it clear that niggas can be anybody right, and niggas don't just have to be black people. Niggas just don't read. And it's frustrating to me because it's like I've been saying We've all been saying this in our work since the inception of time, right include us, and now people are belonging, belonging, belonging,
and it's like, no, you just don't. It's the same reason why people don't like saying black right, because they know that there's a responsibility that comes to saying black. And so when you start talking about de I, it means you actually have to do something. And so what do we do. We let's lean on belonging to make it easier for us to do this work. It's just all of it is. And I'm gonna say this. I know, I'm I know it's gonna be late by the time
this comes out. But while everyone was going up about the met Gala, I wasn't because it's performative. Everything around the met Gala this season, in terms of the theme, was performative. No, I will not be explaining anymore. Google it, do your own research, figure it out, or pay me for us. To engage that conversation. But everything related to the met gala was performative and I didn't see it. Yes, there were some cute looks. Jenelle mone was the best stressed,
but I just I'm just not here for it. So anyway, with that being said, we have to go. Please send us your thoughts, feedback and email to Blackfatfempod at gmail dot com. You can also send us your thoughts via social media by interacting with our post on Instagram and the Blue of the Skies. We're over there, you know, say hello, drop in and drop us Alid Queen Joho. Where can the dolls find you this week? Outside of Baltimore.
My Cowboys, cowgirls and cal Days and cal Gays, you can find me Johodanel's across all social website Jordan Daales dot com.
If not there, you will find.
Me Indpper down in the litas fringe as I'm as I'm yeing my last hall even post cowboy Carter hoping not my last hall, yes he he my last hall of the week. I at that point book book WHOA.
Very excited for it.
And just you know, living life to its fullest as best as I can.
And that's wild world.
I hope you have the most amazing time at the Rodeo. I will tell you, like I've been telling everybody, this is for everybody. This is not just a sofi thing. Get to the arena early as early as you can. That merch line. We waited in the merch line for an hour and a half. They also have a very long line for tasting Sir Davis. So if you haven't
tasted Sir Davis, go, they are giving it away. They have a little mocktail like in mocktail, but they have a little cocktail situation too, like a tasting cocktail you can get with your shot of Sir Davis. And they also have the sacred booths out there where they're giving away stuff to I didn't get you know what, Joe, can you do that? Do a favor for me? If you go, Can you get me one of the little sacred Rodeo keychains?
Yes, I'm gonna eat that. Got ya?
And Chris, I know, I know Chris, you're gonna listen to this.
Chris.
Yes, I still have your jersey. I will give it to you when I when I'm out in La. But anyway, all that to be said, Yes, please make sure, if you're going get there early. As for me and mine, you will find me at home. Well, actually no, so we're recording early because I'm getting ready to go on a trip. So you can find me rest for a week and a half, much needed rest that I need. And other than that, I'm telling everybody go to w W dot dotor johnpad dot com. I have eleven more
dates left in my book tour. It's insane to me that I said that. The fact that I've probably almost did twenty is crazy. But anyway, all that to be said of eleven more dates, So if you want to catch me on tour, I will. There are some dates I have in California. There are a few more dates that I have in Chicago, a few dates that I will be a few I'm trying to think of where else I'm not going. I'll be in New Orleans. I will be in Wichitah. I will also be in Columbus, Ohio.
So I'm in Dallas, Texas. I'm in Dallas too, So if you want to see me, there's a chance for you to catch me. But other than that, buy my book, keep running it up. I love to see it. And yeah, that's pretty much it for me and for mine. So with that being said, we love you, We thank you for listening. We want to thank our producers Beiwang for handling all the logistics with the show, and everyone over
at iHeartMedia who continues to keep the show up and running. Yes, we are in our fourth officially fourth season of the show and so it is so grateful to be still on the air and being able to bring this show to you all. We also want to shout out our wonderful editor Chris Rogers, because without him, y'all would have no audio and they do a lot of really cool hope stuff, So we're very grateful for what they do for us with the show and also what they do
for the tubes of you. We love the comments down over at the youtubes. And with that being said, this has been another show. Stay black, Fat, femine, fabulous, and remember what Jojo.
We may not be your cup of tiggirl, but get us her Davis. You want me anyway, It's okay you.
Probably, but also be cautious because it's a sipping It's a sipping liquor. It's not a drinking liquor. They are two different things. I only knew because I was raised around alcoholic But y'all have a great one. Love y'all, see you next time. Buy