In this episode of Beyond What Hurts Us , Kristen and Leslie take a fresh look at the early 2000s dating advice phenomenon He's Just Not That Into You . While the book was intended to empower women to recognize when a man isn’t invested, we discuss why its message falls short in today’s dating landscape. We explore how the book places all the emphasis on whether he is interested—without ever asking if she is. It also ignores the emotional complexity of relationships, failing to acknowledge the v...
Feb 12, 2025•25 min•Ep. 80
This week on Beyond What Hurts Us, Kristen and Leslie dive into the complexities of relationships, exploring themes of abandonment, emotional literacy, and the art of mindful loving. From discussing the power of movement and embracing our "wild woman" to unpacking the five A's of healthy relationships—attention, affection, acceptance, appreciation, and allowing—we reflect on what it means to truly show up for ourselves and others. We share personal stories, insights from books like The Women Who...
Jan 15, 2025•29 min•Ep. 79
In this episode, Kristen and Leslie are joined by Brandy Cunningham to explore the intersection of recovery and personal choice. Together, they dive into the complexities of addiction, the structure of programs like AA, and the nuanced process of reclaiming agency after trauma. Brandy shares her experiences navigating recovery, challenging norms, and forging a unique path toward healing. Whether you're in recovery, supporting someone who is, or curious about the journey, this conversation offers...
Jan 08, 2025•58 min•Ep. 78
As the calendar turns to a fresh page, Kristen and Leslie embark on a reflective journey to set intentions for the year ahead. Together, they discuss the rituals of closing out the old year, choosing a "word of the year," and pulling a tarot card to explore its deeper meaning. Tune in for an inspiring conversation filled with personal insights, growth, and practical tips to embrace a "New Year, New Me" mindset.
Jan 01, 2025•28 min•Ep. 77
In this episode, Kristen and Leslie dive into the profound work of uncovering core beliefs and patterns that shape our lives, especially in relationships. Leslie leads Kristen to reflect on her experiences with perfectionism, over-functioning, and self-reliance, tracing their roots back to childhood. Through an open discussion on Internal Family Systems (IFS) and EMDR therapy, Kristen and Leslie explore how deeply ingrained beliefs—like "I can only rely on myself"—manifest in adulthood and relat...
Dec 18, 2024•22 min•Ep. 76
Do you ever feel paralyzed by the pressure to be perfect? To be honest, this episode almost didn’t make it to air because the audio isn’t flawless. But in the spirit of embracing imperfection, Kristen and Leslie decided to share it anyway. Together, they dive into the roots of perfectionist panic —that overwhelming fear of falling short or making mistakes—and how it impacts our mental health, relationships, and creativity. Leslie offers insights through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS),...
Dec 04, 2024•29 min•Ep. 75
In this week's episode, Kristen and Leslie explore the idea that healing often lies in the balance between extremes. Why do polarized emotions or opinions keep us stuck, and how can embracing the “shades of gray” in tough situations help us move forward? By finding the middle ground, we open ourselves to growth, understanding, and deeper healing. Join us as we discuss how balance is not about compromise but about clarity and peace.
Nov 20, 2024•33 min•Ep. 74
In this episode, Kristen and Leslie confront the difficult reality of discovering abusive behavior in people we once admired and explore the red flags we might have missed or dismissed. We discuss the emotional impact of shattered perceptions, why we sometimes ignore warning signs, and how to rebuild trust in our own judgment. This conversation is about learning to recognize and believe red flags, setting healthier boundaries, and finding resilience to move forward with clarity and self-assuranc...
Nov 06, 2024•36 min•Ep. 73
In this episode, Kristen and Leslie explore how curiosity and asking questions can shift our perspectives, even on seemingly simple things like sports. Why do we get so emotionally invested in whether "our team" wins or loses? By examining these reactions, we uncover the layers of identity, connection, and loyalty that play into our intense feelings for sports teams. Join us as we discuss how understanding these emotional ties can help us grow in empathy and self-awareness, and even heal our app...
Oct 30, 2024•29 min•Ep. 72
In this heartfelt episode, Kristen and Leslie sit down with Chelsea Ohlemiller, author of Now That She’s Gone, a deeply personal memoir chronicling her journey through grief after losing her mother. Chelsea shares the profound lessons learned from her mother's life, her grief, and how she’s found healing through preserving her legacy. Join us as we discuss the impact of love, loss, and how embracing a loved one’s memory can offer comfort and a path toward peace.
Oct 16, 2024•45 min•Ep. 71
Can we just stop the bullsh*t? In this episode, Kristen and Leslie dive deep into the emotional dynamics of the pursuer-withdrawer relationship and how to break free from the exhausting push-and-pull cycle. Instead of focusing on labels, we'll shift the focus to what truly matters: the relationship itself. Join us as we explore practical steps for healing attachment wounds, improving communication, and moving towards a healthier, more secure connection—no labels required.
Oct 09, 2024•40 min•Ep. 70
In this episode, Kristen and Leslie explore the transformative power of gratitude as a tool for healing. By choosing to focus on what we’re thankful for, we can shift our mindset, allowing positivity and growth to flourish in our lives. We’ll dive into how gratitude helps us move beyond pain, heal emotional wounds, and create space for joy. Join us as we discuss practical ways to cultivate gratitude and watch the healing that follows.
Sep 18, 2024•27 min•Ep. 69
In this episode, Kristen and Leslie dive into the journey of moving from self-abandonment to self-love, exploring how you can shift your mindset to view yourself as "the one." We’ll discuss the importance of breaking patterns of neglecting your own needs and how to cultivate a deeper connection with yourself. It’s about learning to prioritize your well-being and embracing the love and worth you deserve.
Sep 11, 2024•27 min•Ep. 68
In this special episode, Kristen and her daughter Kendall take a break from the show's usual focus on healing to explore the joy that can be found all around us. While Beyond What Hurts Us typically dives deep into self-discovery and emotional well-being, we believe it's just as important to pause and appreciate the simple, beautiful moments life has to offer. Join us as we share stories, laughter, and a few surprises from our everyday adventures, reminding ourselves that healing isn't just abou...
Aug 28, 2024•16 min
Have people in your life fallen away? What makes some relationships worth pursuing and others not? Listen this week as Kristen and Leslie reveal their hearts and thoughts on what repair actually looks like and what's required to work through conflict. Join them as they share their personal insights on the true nature of repair—what it takes to work through conflict, heal wounds, and rebuild connections. Whether you're facing challenges in friendships, family dynamics, or romantic relationships, ...
Aug 21, 2024•27 min•Ep. 67
In this week's episode, Kristen and Leslie explore the transformative power of stillness during challenging times. Discover how taking a moment to pause, reflect, and embrace silence can become a powerful tool for healing and rediscovering your inner strength. This episode delves into the importance of quieting the mind and creating space for emotional recovery, helping you navigate the journey to wholeness.
Aug 14, 2024•33 min•Ep. 66
In this episode, we explore the "mother wound" and how it uniquely affects men. Kristen and Leslie delve into the emotional scars left by challenging maternal relationships and how these wounds manifest in adulthood, particularly in romantic relationships. Through personal stories and expert insights, we discuss the signs of the mother wound, its impact on trust and intimacy, and practical steps for healing. Join us to understand how addressing this deep-seated issue can lead to healthier, more ...
Aug 07, 2024•40 min•Ep. 65
How can you tell if you're in an emotionally safe relationship? This week, Kristen and Leslie dive deep into the signs of emotional safety and the red flags of an unsafe relationship. They discuss personal anecdotes, expert insights, and practical tips on how to recognize and cultivate a healthy, supportive intimate relationship. Whether you're navigating a new romance or reassessing a long-term partnership, this episode will help you understand what true emotional safety feels like and how to t...
Jul 31, 2024•29 min•Ep. 64
After a brief hiatus, Kristen and Leslie are back this week to discuss the crucial role anxiety plays in signaling toxic relationships. Learn how to recognize the nervous signals your body sends when you're in an unhealthy relationship. We discuss common signs of anxiety, how to differentiate them from everyday stress, and the importance of trusting your nervous system. We also highlight the significance of trusting yourself and your intuition, empowering you to listen to your inner voice and ma...
Jul 24, 2024•33 min•Ep. 63
This week, join Kristen and Leslie as they explore the transformative power of vulnerability through the lens of Brené Brown's groundbreaking work. Learn how embracing our imperfections can lead to a more authentic and fulfilling life. Join us as we navigate the complexities of vulnerability, challenge common myths, and celebrate the courage it takes to live wholeheartedly. Whether you're familiar with Brené Brown or new to her work, this episode offers valuable insights and inspiration for your...
Jun 19, 2024•35 min•Ep. 62
In this poignant episode of Beyond What Hurts Us, Kristen and Leslie dive into the complex and often painful topic of father wounds. They explore the lasting impact that strained or absent father-child relationships can have on our emotional and mental well-being. Through personal storied and insightful discussions, they shed light on how these wounds manifest in our lives and affect our self-worth, relationships, and overall sense of identity. Join Kristen and Leslie as they share their own exp...
Jun 12, 2024•30 min•Ep. 61
In this episode, Kristen and Leslie delve into the fascinating world of sound healing and uncover the science behind its therapeutic benefits with special guest, Hoai-Huong Nguyen, of Inner Alchemist Healing Arts . We'll explore how different frequencies and vibrations can promote physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Our discussion includes insights from Hoai-Huong, who explains the principles of sound therapy and share compelling evidence of its effectiveness. Whether it's the soothing t...
Jun 05, 2024•52 min•Ep. 60
In this episode, Kristen and Leslie dive into the pervasive and often overlooked issue of "Mean Girls." We explore personal stories from our past and present, illustrating the long-lasting impact that female bullying and unkindness can have on us, even into adulthood. From middle school torment to competitive college environments, we share how these experiences shape our self-worth and relationships. We discuss the difference between general bullying and the mean girl mentality, highlighting how...
May 29, 2024•39 min•Ep. 59
In this empowering episode, we delve into the transformative journey of self-trust. Join us as we uncover the nuances of recognizing, building, and identifying this foundational aspect of personal growth and fulfillment. From candid discussions on overcoming self-doubt to practical strategies for cultivating inner confidence, our conversation offers insights and inspiration for anyone seeking to harness the power of self-trust in their own lives. Tune in as we embark on a journey of self-discove...
May 15, 2024•41 min•Ep. 58
Join Kristen and her partner Steve as they candidly share their personal divorce journeys and distill their top ten insights and learnings. From navigating co-parenting to rediscovering self-worth, their shared experiences offer relatable wisdom for anyone facing the end of a marriage. Tune in for an honest and empathetic conversation that promises to resonate with listeners, providing comfort and guidance through the ups and downs of separation, divorce and beyond.
May 10, 2024•31 min
In this episode, Kristen and Leslie sit down with Kristi Howard Shultz, MSW to unravel the complexities of communication in today's world. They explore how embracing diverse perspectives and constructive dialogue can bridge divides, whether it's in relationships, politics, or everyday interactions. From dissecting the impact of traditional gender roles on communication to sharing anecdotes about navigating disagreements with loved ones, this conversation offers practical insights and relatable s...
May 08, 2024•48 min•Ep. 57
This week, Kristen and Leslie are joined by Julia Nilsen, CDC, as they delve into the intricate balance of love and practicality in marriage. Julia shares her personal journey, revealing her newfound mission to empower young women to safeguard themselves as they enter matrimony. Together, they explore proactive measures couples can take to protect their interests before exchanging vows, from prenuptial agreements to comprehensive financial planning. But what if the fairytale takes an unexpected ...
May 01, 2024•41 min•Ep. 56
Due to overwhelming popularity of the first episode, Kristen and Leslie return to explore the intricacies of Retroactive Jealousy once more. Our co-hosts delve deeply into the emotional complexities of being caught in the grip of RJ and offer invaluable insights on supporting your partner through this challenging experience. From navigating intrusive thoughts to cultivating trust and empathy in relationships, join us for a candid and enlightening conversation on overcoming retroactive jealousy a...
Apr 24, 2024•41 min•Ep. 55
In this episode, Kristen and Leslie discuss therapy, sharing their personal journeys and insights. They debunk common myths and misconceptions about therapy, emphasizing its role as a safe space for healing and growth. From finding the right therapist to navigating the therapeutic process, they offer practical tips and relatable anecdotes. Tune in for a candid conversation that demystifies therapy and highlights its transformative potential in everyday life.
Apr 10, 2024•21 min•Ep. 54
Join us in this episode of Beyond What Hurts Us as we explore Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) from a fresh perspective. Kristen and Leslie challenge the stereotypes and in an attempt to foster a deeper understanding of ADD, they discuss the impact on the brain, behavior, and beyond. Whether you're personally affected by ADD or simply curious to learn more, this episode promises to offer a relatable and informative journey into the world of ADD. *Please note, Kristen and Leslie share their own e...
Apr 03, 2024•32 min•Ep. 53
