26. Transform Your Confidence with Daily Habits

Hello and welcome back to Beyond Doubt Unleashing Confidence.

I'm Niffy, your host and biggest cheerleader on this journey to uproot insecurities and embrace self-belief. If you're new here, I'm thrilled you found us. If you're returning, thank you for sticking with me for episode 26. Today, we're going deep, really deep, into the world of daily habits and how they can totally transform your confidence.

We'll explore habit stacking how to create sustainable routines and ways to make those routines stick even when life gets hectic we'll cover everything from morning mantras to evening reflections from a tiny nudge of self-encouragement to bigger leaps of faith that can help you shine in every corner of your life. So settle in. This is going to be full, rich, and I hope an empowering ride. So part one, why habits matter? All right, so let's kick things off with a question.

Have you ever had one of those mornings where you wake up and thought, why can't I have more hours in the day? Or I really should be better at this by now. I know I have. And if you're nodding along, please know you're in good company. The truth is, low confidence often sneaks in like a shadow when we feel disorganized, overwhelmed, or like we're not meeting our own expectations.

But here's the thing, rather than berating ourselves for not being good enough, we can build daily habits, little consistent steps that make us feel more in control and ultimately more self-assured. I often think of confidence like a plant. You don't just pour a bucket of water on it once and expect it to flourish forever. You have to water it regularly, give it some sunshine, maybe even talk to it kindly. No judgment. I've definitely had heart-to-hearts with my houseplants.

I've got quite a lot of them.

If you nurture it day by day it grows stronger more resilient and quite beautiful to behold, so part two habit stacking now let's get into the real superstar of today's chat habit stacking if you've never heard the phrase habit stacking is a practice of pairing a new behavior you want to adopt with the behavior you already do automatically basically. Think about your day as a sequence of mini-routines.

Maybe you always wake up, drink a glass of water, brew coffee, let the dog out and start screwing your emails. If you try to add a brand new activity, say journaling, without a clear trigger, you might forget. Or you might do it for a day or two and then push it aside when life gets busy.

Habit stacking says look you're already making coffee every morning so right after you flip the kettle on you do a quick journaling no extra brain brain power needed because you've linked the new habit to an existing well-worn routine suddenly it's not coffee or journaling it's coffee and journaling seemingly intertwined. So why does this work? From a brain perspective you're capitalizing on existing neural pathways. The routine is partly hardwired like muscle memory.

By attaching something new to that chain you short-circuit the need for sheer willpower or a complicated time management strategy. Instead, you piggyback on what's already second nature. From an emotional perspective it reduces overwhelm. You're not telling yourself I must overhaul my entire life. You're simply saying when I do x I'll also do y. This subtle shift can dismantle the self-belief or the self-doubt that says you'll never keep up with new habits.

Because guess what? You're not trying to keep up with a massive new regime. You're adding a sliver of change, gently and consistently.

Part three, sustainable routines. Now let's zoom out to sustainable routines as a whole. Habit stacking is like the individual puzzle piece, while your overall routine is the completed picture you see when all those pieces fit together. are. So consistency, the super glue of growth. Consistency might not sound sexy but trust me it's a total game changer. It's a difference between having bursts of motivation and experiencing real lasting transformation.

Sometimes we try to do too much at once like going from zero exercise to a daily 5k run. Guiltily, I've tried to do that in the past and it's never worked. So within a week or two, it's like back to square one. That's because we tried to suit like turbocharge an entire routine that didn't yet have a solid foundation. A sustainable routine is less about perfection and more about building a rhythm that fits your lifestyle.

Maybe you have kids or you work night shifts or you schedule changes from month to month. The idea is to pick routines that can bend when life does so you don't feel like a failure if you can't follow them to a T every day. Morning and evening rituals, back ends of the day. I like to think of mornings and evenings as bookends for our day like opening and closing chapters. They set the tone and create closure which can help us feel more in control and purposeful.

Morning routines. So gentle alarm tones. Not that shrill ones that feels like a fire drill can reduce immediate stress. A minute of gratitude or stillness before diving into your phone or emails can help you send to yourself. If you're a coffee drinker, try linking a short affirmation practice to the coffee brewing process. Even just a line like, I'm excited for what today might bring, can shift your outlook in surprising ways.

Evening routines. I know it's tempting to binge Netflix right until bedtime but giving yourself 20 to 30 minutes of tech free time can do wonders for your sleep quality and your mood the next day. Perhaps you do a quick reflection on something that went well today. Did you handle a difficult conversation calmly or finish a tedious task you've been putting off? Let that positivity tea lull you to sleep.

Pro tip, if you can add a short self-care routine like a warm bath or a bit of journaling, that's the icing on the cake. It's not only, like it not only helps you wind down but also sends a gentle message to some conscious that I matter.

Part four, some stories. I'm a big fan of metaphors because they can crystallize ideas in a way that bullet points often don't so let's bring in a couple the marathon of confidence imagine confidence as running a marathon you don't just sprint 42 kilometers out of nowhere your brain building your mileage bit by bit. Your brain, no, your train. Well, I guess you've got to train your brain and your body bit by bit. One day you can handle one kilometre, then two kilometres and so on.

In the same way, each habit you stack is like adding another kilometre. I can't say that word, kilometre to your confidence run. It might not feel dramatic in a moment but over time the distance you can cover without collapsing and self-doubt grows and grows. The Lighthouse Keeper. I mentioned the Lighthouse Keeper in a past episode but let me explain it here. That daily grind of climbing the spiral stairs to refill oil and polish the lens can appear monotonous, almost pointless.

But when the storm hits and the ship needs guidance, that routine becomes heroic. Our daily habits may appear mundane. Why bother journaling for five minutes or doing those silly squats while you brush your teeth? But when you face a personal storm, maybe a difficult boss, family drama, oh my god I've had so many, or an unexpected health scare, I've had that too. Your consistent habits shine like that lighthouse beam.

They remind you of who you are how far you've come and just how capable you can be so real life stories let's pivot to some more tangible examples I love sharing these because it reminds us that real people with real struggles are applying these exact strategies to change their lives and also I just want to before I dive in if you're listening to the podcast and you've implemented anything and it's that I've said and it's impacted your life positively please leave me a comment or review

and I would um I'd love to hear it because that also encourages me to keep going so this story is Kemi's transformation so in the blog I talk about my friend Kemi but she's worth revisiting in more detail she's a mum of two working in corporate finance and so her life is busier than a hive of caffeinated bees. She felt guilty for even dreaming of self-care, thinking she should be able to do it all herself. So she implemented some strategies. Number one, car brain dump.

She began taking a brief pause after collecting her children from school, just five minutes to list out the evening's must-do tasks. It cleared her ahead so instead of stumbling in the door and getting lost in homework clicking and meltdown central she had a game plan. Number two, before sending work briefings, she added a quick gratitude note. Some days it was a big win, like finalising a project on time.

Other days it was something silly, like I'm grateful for my favourite pen that never runs out of ink. Yet each note chipped away at the negativity that had been building up. And number three, hiring a part-time nanny.

In truth this was a bigger shift but it was still a form of habit stacking in a broader sense she stacked an external solution nanny support onto the existing chaos around evening routines this allowed her to carve out a 10 minute yoga flow or even a cheeky nap on the weekends three months later kemi wasn't magically living on a unicorn farm sipping cocktails but she was more present with her kids less stressed at work and crucially far more confident in

her capacity to juggle it all her daily mini changes had given her new vantage point from which she could see herself now my battle was stress let me also share a more pleasant story a while back I was drowning in deadlines for nephew wellness new website features coaching clients plus million emails that needed replies. I started snapping at friends and my sleeping pattern got erratic and I found myself questioning whether I was good enough to run my own business.

Instead of revamping my entire life in one go, I did one simple thing. I stacked a breathing exercise onto my existing habit of checking my phone for messages.

Each time I unlocked my phone, I do three deep belly breaths before reading any notifications at one point I actually had to turn off notifications because I was getting so many but you know that's something else but it might have sound trivial but do that 20 times a day because let's be honest I'm on my phone a lot, and when you start to drastically and you start to drastically reduce your stress so within a week i noticed i was calmer when

responding to emails and less prone to snap reactions over time i began to trust my instinct small and recapture that sense of i've got this it was a tiny shift that changed my emotional landscape.

Part six, some Q&As. So I often get questions from listeners about habit stacking and confidence building routines. So I thought I'd do a mini Q&A segment to dive a little deeper. So question one, Nephi, I started a new habit. I start new habits all the time, but I never stick to them. Why will this be any different? Well, that's a great question. Typically, we felt because we rely on willpower alone.

Habit stacking works differently because it attaches the new habit to an old habit you never skip. So you're leveraging an existing pattern rather than forcing yourself to remember out of the blue. Question two, do I have to do this in the morning or can I pick any time of day? Any time that works for you is perfect.

If your mornings are chaotic with kids spouse pet responsibilities you might find your anchor habits in the evenings or evening the afternoons the key is consistency and making sure your anchor habits that truly that are truly locked in question three what if my schedule is unpredictable well then pick anchor habits that happen no matter what, like brushing your teeth or checking a work email. Even if the time shifts, the action remains a given.

And if your schedule changes drastically, maybe you switch jobs. That's okay. Adapt and find a new anchor. Question four. I feel like a failure if I messed up. How do I cope. Here's a reminder. Messing up is part of the process. Habits are about progress, not perfection. If you skip a day, that's fine. Jump back in the next day. Trust me, it's better to slip up and resume than to quit entirely.

Part seven, practical steps to build your own system. Let's now synthesize all of this into an easy to follow plan so step one identify your anger habit write down a few routines you never skip e.g turning on your computer at work letting the dog out setting your morning alarm etc whatever it is for you step two decide on one new habit. Yeah, this is key. One new habit at a time. Don't try and do seven. You'll never stick to it. So just add one new habit.

Make it small and manageable. If it's journaling, start with one sentence. If it's exercise, start with two squats. Number three, link them. Formulate a simple statement. After I anchor habit, comma, I will new habit. So for example, after I brush my teeth in the mornings, I will do two squats. Stick to this statement where you can. Like stick this statement where you can say it. So for example, you can have a post-it note and just stick it on your bathroom mirror.

So when you're reaching for your toothbrush you see that statement and then you know when you're brushing your teeth you do the squats and then step four track and celebrate use a small notebook a habit tracking app a goal planner or even a calendar with gold star stickers every time you do a new habit mark it reward yourself maybe with a smile a little dance or just a moment of gratitude.

You're celebrating your small wins doesn't have to be huge. It just has to be like, you know, cheer yourself on, be your own cheerleader. Number five, or step five, review and adapt. After a couple of weeks, check in. Is the routine working? Is it too easy or too complicated? Adjust as needed.

Part eight, going beyond environmental design and accountability. One extra layer I love to mention is environment design. What does that mean, you might be asking? It's about arranging your surroundings so your desired habit becomes simple. For instance, if you want to do morning yoga, lay out your yoga mat the night before. If you aim to read more, place a book on your pillow or by the kettle so that it's the first thing you see.

This small tweak ensures you don't have to rummage around for tools or instructions when you're tired and then accountability accountability can also make a big difference maybe you team up with a friend or you join a small group who's aiming to build similar habits you can check in with each other daily or weekly there's something motivating about knowing someone else is rooting for you and expecting you to follow through.

Part nine, handling roller coasters, especially the emotional ones. Now, as we talk about building confidence, we have to acknowledge the emotional roller coaster. Sometimes we set out with big dreams, then we have a bad day and poof, all the momentum seems gone. But do remember, a bad day does not erase the good you've done. Your self-worth isn't defined by a single day, a single missed habit or a single meltdown. If you find yourself in an emotional dip, try practicing self-compassion.

Maybe you do a quick guided meditation or simply remind yourself one bad day doesn't mean a bad life. Then dust yourself off, look at your anger habit and start again.

Part 10, summary and next steps. So let's recap the key takeaways from this episode. Number one, habit stacking. Attach a new mini habit to something you already do. Number two, sustainable routine. Aim for consistency and flexibility, not a rigid schedule. Number three, small wins. Every tiny success is a vote for a more confident you. Number four, real people, real results. Whether it's me, Kemi or countless others, these strategies truly work.

Number five, adapt and evolve. Your life will change, so let your habits change with it remember you're not just building habits you're building confidence one micro step at a time so where to learn more if you want a deeper look into everything we've discussed I've got a blog post with all the details complete with more metaphors and personal anecdotes over at nephewwellness.com I'll put a link in the description and if you want to work with me I'm also a qualified life

coach and I would be I would be excited to have a phone call to see if we're a good fit for each other so I just want to do a guided mini practice okay this is an optional three minute exercise so I'd love to lead you in a short guided practice maybe three minutes to help you feel the power of small actions right here right now if you can do this then you know let's do it now if not then pause and come back and play this part later when you can so number one find comfort whether you're

sitting standing or walking see if you can find position, if you can position yourself so your spine is relatively straight, your shoulders relaxed. Two, deep breaths. Take a slow inhale, count to three, and exhale for three. Let your shoulders drop each time you breathe. So, count to three, inhale, and then count to three exhale. Now, visualize your anchor habit. Imagine one daily routine you never miss. Maybe it's brushing your teeth or making a snack. Insert a new habit.

Visualize adding a small habit right here. For instance, if you see yourself brushing your teeth, then watch yourself in your mind's eye doing three quick squats or reciting one gratitude statement. Feel the shift. Notice how easy it feels to slide that mini habit in because you're already brushing your teeth anyway. Anchor it. Let that image lock in like you're saving a new file in your mental computer.

There, just a tiny exercise but it might give you a taste of how straightforward this can be, want to let go of the idea that change needs to be enormous or complicated. Summing up, that's a wrap for episode 26 of Beyond Doubt Unleashing Confidence. I truly hope today's deep dive into habit stacking and sustainable routines gives you the spark you need to claim your worth and walk a little taller. Remember, your confidence is not some magical entity that appears out of the ether.

It's the sum of small actions consistently chosen day after day. Each time you honour your promises to yourself, no matter how tiny, you're reinforcing the belief that I'm a person who matters. I can trust myself. I deserve to live boldly and joyfully. Life will always throw challenges our way, but with a set of empowering habits in place, you'll handle those storms like a lighthouse standing firm against those crashing waves.

Thank you for spending your time with me here today. If you found this valuable please share it with a friend, post it on your socials or leave a review. It really helps spread the word and if you like more tips and resources don't forget to visit my website at nephewwellness.com. Until next time take those small steps stack those habits and remember the confidence you seek is already within you waiting to be unleashed unleashed stay amazing and i'll catch you in the next episode bye.