349: [Soapbox] The problem with sensate focus - podcast episode cover

349: [Soapbox] The problem with sensate focus

Dec 18, 20259 min
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Episode description

In this episode of Better Sex, sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman critiques the traditional sensate focus technique frequently recommended in sex therapy. She outlines her concerns about its sequential, goal-oriented nature, the problematic idea of doing things to a passive partner, and the lack of emphasis on pleasure. Jessa shares her alternative approach, which focuses on pleasure and connection through exercises where the receiving partner is in control, and highlights the importance of mutual desire and advocacy in intimate relationships.


00:00 Introduction to Better Sex

00:44 Critique of Sensate Focus

01:49 Problems with Sensate Focus

04:47 Alternative Approaches to Intimacy

07:07 Conclusion and Listener Engagement

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More info and resources:


Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcast

Secret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcast




How Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.com

The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com

The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com

Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com

Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

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