Your Media Consumption (Social + Beyond!) EP 41

all the other kinds of media out there. How we can make this a more intentional part of our lives. And I know this is something that Sarah has been very passionate about. So Sarah, maybe you could share with our listeners what you're thinking is on this and why media curation is a good part of a busy life.

they want to do media wise or otherwise. But that this is not a social media themed episode. I'm more talking about like what do you watch, what do you read, what do you listen to? What do you choose to consume in your downtime? And is there a lot of intentionality there? Is it just whatever's in front of your face? Where is the time actually going? Are you getting the most enjoyment out of your media consumption as you can?

And I don't remember where I first started thinking about this, but once I did, it just became something I'm very interested in, to the point where I have started tracking my media. So you guys know, I have a daily planner. I love having like a little page for every single day in my home Bunichi cousin where I write down my schedule kind of my task for the day, different metrics. I want to hit things like that. But one thing, I had a lot of space on that page, and

I'm like, you know, it will be fun. I'll just like see what podcasts I listened to and like what I read. And I realized, like, oh, I want to track my media consumption and just kind of see what it is. And I was surprised by two things. One how much we do listen to on autopilot, Like you know, you just listen to whatever podcast comes up next, like you didn't actively choose it.

hour of your life goes back spanning years. Are you tracking your media in there or is this something you've ever thought about?

For reading, I usually just put read on my log I don't put what it is, except if it's something that like if I've just finished something big, right, like would I finish Kristin Lavren's Daughter, that's you know, I put like finish kl you know, as an entry because that took many, many hours, it's like a fifteen hundred page book. Or when I finished Warren Piece, like finished WNPAA, because I felt that needed a little bit more acknowledgment

than just read. I did track my books for a couple of years, so I went through something of a reading renaissance in the year at twenty seventeen and twenty eighteen where I decided to just check off a lot of books that had been on my book bucket list. So I wrote down what I was reading and have that list somewhere and then I don't know, I guess like by twenty nineteen, I kind of let it go and then learned I was pregnant with Henry and just

kind of lost energy for a lot of things. So the book reading and tracking took a little bit of a news dive at that point. But you know, then by twenty twenty one, I was doing my reading projects again, where I read Warren Piece over the course of the year and twenty twenty two Shakespeare twenty twenty three Jane Austin, so that I was tracking in the sense that I wanted to know what I had I read for that. But yeah, I hadn't really thought about what media do

I consume in an average day. I was thinking about this this morning as we were getting ready to record this. We had a little bit of time before we were recording, and I thought about, well, what was I sitting here reading for like thirty minutes in the morning, And it's various newsletters. It's newsletters and blogs. So I read like Matt Iglesias's slow, boring newsletter most mornings. That's actually what I'd recommend to people.

what I like. I don't know if our politics would be the same at all, but I think it's interesting what he's saying, and so i'd throw that out there as a recommendation. I often read Emily Oster. You know, I obviously read your blog, Sarah. I read The Frugal Girl. I read a couple others. You know, we've talked about optimistic musings. I read Grateful K, I read Lisa, You're you know, all these regular bloggers that have become friends of the show over the years. So yeah, I mean

I consume a lot too. I'm sure. I just, you know, have not really tracked it. So maybe I will.

I make a W meaning like websites. I don't know I would do B, but I b as already books, so and then I just write, like read feed lea blogs because I use feed lee as my aggregator and just kind of read the ones that I subscribe to. All Right, so we are going to talk about social media, even though I said this is not an episode about social media, because it is one very common, very ubiquitous form of media in this day and age, and Laura and I also have different takes and feelings about it.

So I think it's like good to kind of share both of our experiences around this because there is no one right answer regarding any of these forms of media. By the way, I just think it deserves some reflection for each of us. So I've shared my social media journey a bit before on this podcast. I think more unbeest laid plans. But I quit Facebook in twenty sixteen when I sensed the level of general vitriol going up, but also because I found myself very addicted to reading

like physician, mommy group stuff. There's something about that particular form of like bulletin board style media that ropes me in and does not let me go. Like you know, some people have issues with alcohol, some people have issues with sugar. I know that is something I am like very bad with, and so I was like, I am better off without this temptation in my life and Facebook. But then Instagram was just becoming popular, and by twenty twenty one, some of that very same energy was gripping me.

With Instagram. I get very COMPARI I get I don't know, I just it awakens something very bad in me. And I also find it just like very hard to turn off the phone once I start. And so in twenty twenty one, I put in a way message up on Instagram that was like I think I'm leaving. I don't know. It's like my last post I've never posted since then you can look at it. I don't go in there.

And then it had the thing that was key for me because I knew that like, yes, some people might look me up on Instagram and I didn't have a business at that point, but like I had a podcast and I wanted people to be able to find me. So I just put up all the links and then was like, goodbye, I'm not opening this ever again, and

I really haven't. I will click on a link if someone sends me something, and then that automatically opens it, but then I'm like so terrified of going back to the more addictive place that I just like I have no desire to and I just like close it immediately. So I really don't do any social media, and I do feel like I'm weird, like I don't I know that many people in the same boat who don't post it, but also like don't consume it. I never got into TikTok.

I do love podcasts, I love blogs. I watch a little bit of YouTube for very specific niche stuff, but it never had that kind of pull on me. I think because videos like it's a little slower, I can't consume it at that like obscene pace or I don't want to, and that never was like a problem for me.

So I do it every once in a while, But that's my social media story, and I can honestly say for me, and I'm not saying for you, for Laura, for any of you listening that this is like your journey, but for me, that was one hundred percent of the right call. I am a happier human without it, period.

it is. I don't find Facebook all that appealing anymore. I don't know what it is, but Instagram's starting to have some of that same energy. I feel like I'm getting a lot more videos and ads of things I didn't ask for. I've tried to be better about curating it, like going to post like on dollhouse furniture, which I like. I was like the Mega Family posts. There's some really funny ones, like the fit Dad CEO on Instagram. I anyone wants to check him out, He's pretty funny and Twitter.

I just like hearing the variety of voices on different news topics because again, I follow people all over in everything. I don't know, I just kind of want to hear what people are saying, which we want to have. When listeners like I can't believe you follow this person, I'm like, well, is it better to not know what they're saying. I don't think it's an endorsement to see what they're doing. But you know, anyway, when I'm in my normal life, I do try to have other things that I do first,

so it's not all my time. So partly some of that is about having total brainless books to read or look at pretty pictures, Like I like to check out coffee table books from the library so I can look at those. I like to do my puzzles. You know, I think I'm more of a moderator on it, Sarah

as an abstainer, I'm a moderator at this point. I don't feel like it's a problem if in my life, like if I'm not getting other things done because I'm on social media or not hanging out with my family or something because I'm on social media, then it would be time to examine it. But so far it just sort of fits in the crevices of life as just, you know, something to pass the time, and even the

busy people sometimes need something to pass the time. So questions about media in general, Sarah, how do you keep track of things that you might want to read or listen to or watch in the future.

would keep track of. This also helps because I get a lot of books from the library, and if you kind of have to play the library Holds game of like how long things are going to take, you kind of need to think a little bit ahead. Obviously, you could also purchase books and get them very quickly or instantly if you go to a actual bookstore, but if

you are using the library, thinking ahead is helpful. And so this year I'm doing it a little different where I'm trying to like curate a list by season with like a little bit of a theme, a very loose theme, which like this season I'm trying to read like other people's twenty twenty three favorites, and then like I think I'm gonna do like backlist in the spring or whatever.

We've had Friend of the podcast and Boggle on before I think a couple of times I often use her reading list to get a lot of inspiration for mine, and then I just keep track of it either on like a paper or on my blog. I actually haven't even made my twenty twenty four books page. Maybe I will by the time this comes out, but I have it in a paper form for myself currently and then

for watching. I have gotten in the habit and this is like part of my seasonal planning is all just google like movies and shows coming out and see if there's anything that looks really really fun and exciting, like

I'm gonna see Mean Girls this weekend. So I have been looking forward to that, and I've gotten my kids to look forward to that, and just knowing that it's there has been just a little bit of fun and an anticipation never killed anyone, right, Like you get the anticipatory yourself, even with things like watching a movie if you know about them advance. So I've done a little just quick Google search what's coming out soon, and tried to do that every couple months.

buying it from there. But no, I don't have currently have a good TVR system going or anything like that. So different things again, maybe I need to start doing this, but something for the future.

This is certainly something Sarah has been focusing a lot on this year. So Sarah, what are ways that help you enjoy the media you are consuming more?

of a project aspect to it. I think the key is not being really rigid with this, like do it if it's fun, and then if something else comes up that's like really fun to consume for media, then you can pivot finding other people who also like xyz form of media is also a really fun way to enhance

the experience. That's why I love book clubs. I'm in an in real life book club that I kind of started up, and then of course we have our Patreon book club where we read nonfiction titles three times a year, And honestly, anytime anybody's like I think we should start a book club, I'm like, yes, because I like to read and I like talking about books, and yeah, it's the perfect commingling of those two things.

touch base about it. But he has over eleven hundred known works. It works out to, you know, three or so per day, and I have been creating a calendar of what I'm going to listen to each day, and it's pulling not just from like do works one through three on the first day, four through six, because as we've I think I've mentioned I here before, the first two hundred or all cantatas, which are roughly twenty minute vocal pieces, and so I would be listening to nothing

but cantatas for a long long time. So I've been mixing it up, doing BWV one, which is a cantata, plus starting with the organ music, which it starts at BWV five twenty five. So I do like on the first day BWB one and BWV five twenty five and five twenty six, for instance, And that way I could get about thirty to forty minutes of listening every day and get a variety of box work instead of all of just one variety.

Like as I know, I'm the completest aspect of this, because you learn things when you read or listen to all of somebody's stuff as opposed to just like a little bit of their stuff. And I'm not saying there's not a place for listening to the greatest hits of anyone, Like I think that's a great way to be introduced to something. But if you are finding yourself into something right, Like you think that this person has a lot of talent, or this composer was great, or this author showed a

lot of different things. In the three books I've read, you could read everything and to set that as a goal and just make sure you give yourself enough time that you will be able to get through it without inspiring a lot of resistance. So for me, a year has been good for that for the reading projects, because you tend not to have to do that much on

any given day. But you know, especially if it's somebody who hasn't written quite as much, maybe you say it's like a six month project or a three month project or something like that, like ninety days of this author and get through everything and see how they're writing evolved, how they revisit themes. It just gives you more insight into them as an artist, and I think that's really cool.

work extensively. There are a couple different you know things where I'd be listening to a kantata, I'm like, I know that, and it's because he'd later use that same theme in one of his you know, masses or bigger works. And he was a working musician. He needed something to be performed, and so he would mind what he had already created. If he thought it would work well in a future piece, and so that's that's been kind of fun to see as well. Love it well.

all of their fancy are quite limited. We've had good success recently with Harry Potter, but then one of my kids recently was like, oh, I've seen it too many times. I don't want to keep watching these et cetera. So I mean, do you just give up? I remember Sarah from The Mom I were talking about how she held on to this idea of everybody watching the same thing for a really long time and then she just moved on from it because it was just too hard and

everybody wanted to do their own thing. But I guess I don't know thoughts on this or are there certain forms that really do lens of themselves to multiple age groups?

of the kids will like it too. But I will say that if you once to at least experience it with like one other family member or one or two other family members, maybe all family members might be hard to pull off, but definitely different people have some matched interests and it can be good when they can consume something to gather and so just rather than go for everyone the see if you could find like matched pairs.

I know my husband does this. He will watch four movies that are coming out that he thinks some of the kids will like to see, and often Jasper and Sam would be into going to a action movie. Sometimes Alex two if it's appropriate. He'll watch for the animated movies and then take Henry and Alex and Ruth to those, and sometimes Jasper likes all movies, so he go to anything. But you know, then he's watching The Simpsons with Ruth and Young Sheldon with Ruth. He's been watching Game of

Thrones with the boys. I've just I just not to worry about that too much. My older boys are basically, you know, getting toward adulthood. I can just not ponder that one too much. Something they like to do together, and I will throw out there that video games are often these days a very good way to experience media in community with other people. And I'm maybe someone listening

to this sounding like, wow, that's ridiculous. Video games are like whatever, But it is how and I see this through probably because I have so many boys that it often tends to be more of a boy group type thing, though I'm sure there are many groups of girls who also enjoy lots of different video game type things. But Sam will play various games with his friends. They'll call each other on the phone and then they'll all be

logged on at the same time. So that's something you know, you could do as family members as well, Like my husband and Sam and Alex will all play Fortnite together, right, the three of them will be on a team and so they can play. You know, we actually wound up with two xbox is now, so that like multiple games can be going, So yeah, you know, or Halo or anything like that. Just look into something that Minecraft for

younger kids. If you can get like all of your kids playing on Minecraft simultaneously, they can be in each other's worlds or various other roadblocks games they might enjoy, you know, like theme Park, Tycoon or something that they can all try out each other's worlds. So being on the lookout for games that you don't absolutely hate and that multiple people can do together.

really bad for them. I am still not having my kids do social media themselves. I feel like I can see some of my own tendencies in some of my kids, and I don't need that to be an issue earlier than it needs to be. I think if it becomes a point where a child approaches me and is like, this is why I need certain access to certain social media and this is how we're going to handle it,

I'm open to conversations about it. But right now that actually has not been too much of an So that is the one thing that we kind of like don't do as a family.

that interested in social media so far. Again, his interaction with friends is mostly through the group texting and through video game that they play together. Yeah, yeah, which is great. I think it's fun. I have found some horrendous stuff coming out of Alex's iPad on occasion when he's like watching YouTube shorts, so I've had to police that at various points. But you know, that is an ongoing battle.

We've just limited the time he can have it, and that seems too and if it's affecting behavior, then it goes away. So that's generally been the judge there. You know, if kids are happy and have friends and are doing well in school and have some limits on it, like they can't have their devices overnight, then for our family that's mostly worked. Okay, I maybe have to change that. I reserve my right to change that if things go south quickly. But you know, so far that's been all

right for me. So you wanted to talk a little bit about if people are trying to use their phones less because they feel that it is crowding out other media experiences. Well, first, how you might start noticing that, and then what are some steps you can take.

it to yourself. So I think it can be helpful to a if phone use is something you're trying to cut down, be very very specific and physical about how you're going to separate from said device, especially if it's not yet a habit, so you know, the simplest stuff of like putting it in another room or plugging it in. I personally find an Apple Watch helps me do that much better because if someone does call, I don't have to race around looking for it. I can even answer

it on my watch. So technology to solve technology's addiction to technology works for me, I don't know. And then the other thing is I think it helped me at one point to just write a manifesto of like how do I want to use this phone? Because obviously it has some awesome stuff in it. I like texting too,

I like the convenience of using What's up? I like ordering food on my phone, Like I do plenty of things on my phone, But then there were things I like didn't want to be doing with them, and like double devicing is an example of something I'm like, I never want to do that. If the movie is that bad, then I need to scroll my phone. That's fine, but I can just not watch the movie and like do something else, like I hate the idea of doing that.

And then there were some other behaviors that I didn't want to do, like different forms of social media, like we talked about, and I wrote it down and I thought about it and I looked at it and I had to pay a lot of attention to it. But I guess I think obviously manifestos don't work for everyone, Otherwise we'd all get be doing everything we want to do all the time, and that's not true for anyone,

including me. But just cultivating that awareness of what you are looking for out of that relationship, I think can be a helpful practice.

So if you're trying to listen to great music, you know, just pull that up on your phone first and start listening to it and then you know, go scroll around. Or if you are, you know, trying to read a book, go to the Kindle app on your phone first and read for three minutes and then you can go scroll around or you know, do something off your phone and go do a puzzle for a couple of minutes. But yeah, it's hard because I do get my texts on my

phone and that is what I'm doing. I often notice I haven't even gone to email or web or whatever else. I'm just texting with various people while I'm doing something else. So it's hard to know about that is because that's I mean, it's relationship stuff. I'm just apparently attempting to maintain multiple relationships simultaneously in various text threads. So for any new listeners, we always end our episodes with a

love of the week. I mean, we'll do a question too, But since we are kind of talking about media, we thought we'd share some of our favorite media that we've been consuming lately, kind of in lieu of our love of the week. So Sarah, let's start with your favorite books you've been reading lately.

like the characters were, they truly came alive. And I will read everything. Maybe that'll be a reading project I do, because I guess that's my second book I've read by him, and they've both been excellent. So that was a recent media win.

humorous aspects of Florida. I know many people have joked about the crime headlines that are like Florida, man does there's always something weird, right. I think it's never just you know, stealing a car. It's like stole a car with an alligator in it or something like that. You know, it just makes a little Florida angle that gets in all the national media. And so that's what this book is about. And I enjoyed rereading it. It's just funny.

Sometimes you really need that. Sarah, what have you been listening to lately that you're enjoying?

one there because I did notice. I had a couple of patients tell me they like Mitski, and then my daughter's like, oh, this friend at school likes her, and I'm like, oh my god, is it going to be me and like a bunch of like thirteen year olds, But I don't know. The All Songs Considered crew really likes her too, so they'll probably be at least one other person of voting drinking age there. Plus my husband's going with me, so I can't wait.

it a second time for a much cheaper price. And given that you're watching a lot on the big screen at the concert too, ias you can see her in person, but you see a lot of it's put up on the screen as well. It wasn't that different an experience of what you were watching with the movie versus that. Tugh. Obviously, the live event is wonderful in its own way, and I'm happy we went. But yeah, I'm not a movie person,

so it's really good. My husband is. And this was actually a point of contention maybe early in our relationship that I wasn't that much into going to movies. In fact, the only like sort of true movie he and I have seen in a movie theater together. This could be like a Laura Vandercam trivia question if anyone wants to hear it is Talladega Nights. That's the only one. It's a good movie we've seen together in a theater. But now my kids love to go with him and he

loves to go, so that yeah, they go together. So there you go. All right, So we're moving to our question. Second, this is from somebody who has a question about sort of planning and kids. So she has a fifth grader that will be a rising sixth grader soon, and she wants to know how can I help him organize his assignments. I've been talking to friends that have high schoolers and college age kids that still struggle with their school work.

The stakes for them are obviously so much higher. So she wants to know what she can do to help her child build good habits now. So, Sarah, what would you suggest.

dates and things. And at least one of my kids actually she uses a planner now, but we've done the whiteboard approach in the past to kind of help demonstrate like, Okay, if you have like dance that goes late this night, and you have soccer that goes late this night, like what's the only night you have to get things done? And actually seeing it in some kind of form and a whiteboard is nice because you don't have to be precious about it. You can raise stuff, you can you know,

start the week all over again, whatever. But it just makes things physical. I think that is one tool to potentially play with. That said, kids' preferences are going to vary, and keep in mind a lot of the tools to manage this stuff are going to be digital now. I mean it's going to be Google classroom, but you still have to help them cultivate the habit of looking ahead at Google classroom and seeing what's doue and make sure you've checked everything off at the end of the day,

et cetera. I also just have to say paying attention to what the screen distractions are during worktime is going to be important because nothing makes homework impossible like trying to do TikTok.

not you. So I think you need to know if your kid is going to do that before you suggest anything along those lines. And I would also caution you, like, I don't know what your district or the school that you are sending your child to where the split is a lot of places. K through five is elementary school, six through eight or six through nine is junior high middle school. It may be entirely different for him next

year versus this year. He may be moving, in fact, from one class this year to multiple teachers next year. And if that's the case, I'm not sure that what you do now is going to have that much to do with what he does in sixth grade. You might need to just think of like sixth grade is the experimental year where we figure out what it looks like when you have assignments from multiple teachers and how we

juggle them. But if the kid asks for suggestions or you want to just like helpfully bring up how you track multiple things, right, So it's not that you're telling you kid what to do, but you could say, oh, yeah,

this I remember sixth grade. Yeah, you get a lot of assignments from different places, right you know, it's so hard for me to manage multiple assignments, Like I'm working on projects with three different teams right now, and so what I have to do is I have to like keep track of them somewhere written so I know when all the do dates are. Yeah, you know, if you ever want a notebook or anything for that, just let me know. I've got it for you. That sort of thing,

I think. And if you drop the ball on something like, oh my goodness, do you know what happened to me last night? I thought I was going to be able to get to this work on Thursday, and then do you remember we had all that issue with the plumbing and I was dealing with the plumber and you know, all this, and I couldn't do it Thursday, and we had to push this thing forward. It was a little

embarrassing for me at work. Kids love that kind of stuff, like when you screwed up, Oh my goodness, Like that's actually a bigger teacher than anything else. So I would suggest maybe framing it as much I possible term of what you are learning, as they fellow student of figuring out your time and then just be patient, because I think a lot of kids go through a time when the work gets tougher and they have to decide that they want to do a good job. And if you

have a kid who generally does, that's great. If you're not sure, I would just caution you to be be patient and not be yelling and hardline and all about that, because you don't want it to be that doing well

in school is a mommy thing. You want it to be that they want to do it, and as much as possible, if you can be patient and just encourage it when things go right and help the child explore feelings if they're upset that they got to see on something like that's going to be more helpful long term than anything else, because your sixth grade work does not matter in the long term. Thinks that it's how you build the habits and the motivation that's what matters.

to do that. You're still giving them tools for them to use and manage it, because I'm watching firsthand as I see in middle school parents still very much telling their kids when to do what, like hovering over them to submit, and I think that's just only going to backfire later on. I want my kids to learn how to manage that stuff. That is like part of the whole point of middle school.