Hi.
I'm Laura Vanderkamp. I'm a mother of five, an author, journalist, and speaker.
And I'm Sarah hart Hunger, a mother of three, practicing physician, writer, and course creator. We are two working parents who love our careers and our families.
Welcome to best of both worlds. Here we talk about how real women manage work, family, and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping out long term career goals. We want you to get the most out of life. Welcome to best of both worlds. This is Laura. This episode is airing in mid July of twenty twenty four. Sarah is going to be interviewing Amy Laski of the Difference Lab, talking about intentional subtraction and how that can
make us more productive, efficient, happier at life in general. So, Sarah, maybe you could share a little bit about what you learned what this interview is going to be about.
Yeah.
So we talked about subtraction in all realms of life, from the career side to the life side. And I've done some reflecting thinking about how subtractions can be really difficult. I was thinking about what have been the big subtractions in my life. I subtracted forty percent of my clinical job to do other things. I have, at numerous occasions
subtracted various forms of social media for my life. And I'll say I'm also really good at subtracting, like wardrobe items and certain types of clutter, like I really don't have a lot of clothes, and I'm not too bad at if I'm like, I'm not wearing that anymore, I'm going to get rid of it, to the point where when sometimes people look at my closet, They're like, you do not have any clothing, And I'm like, I think
I have the normal amount. I just don't have all the filler that I wouldn't be wearing, if that makes sense. So I'm good at sub subtractions. And then other times I think I'm not like that into ending things, but I don't know. If something's really good, it's hard to want to end it. Hence my twenty year blog and many podcast episodes. What about we have to substract everything? I mean, what if you subtract it? Or like, does the concept resonate with you? I mean I do subtract
things from time to time. I mean, certainly I have stopped a great many projects over the years, whenever I decide that it is no longer achieving the goals I have for myself, or if it's not worth the time, money, or effort, not as an overall thing, like it's not a good thing to do with my time or with somebody's time. It's just that the opportunity cost of doing that versus something else has become too high, and I would prefer to devote the time, money, or effort to
something else. So longtime listeners may know, I had a short daily podcast called The New Corner Office at one point that I was doing during the pandemic, and that had a good run during the pandemic, but was relevant once people were sort of going about living their lives,
going back to the office and all that. And I've done many sort of like short article writing things for places, you know, regular gigs writing for other people, And then now I've sort of realized, like for short stuff, I mean, you could just do it for yourself now, I mean, especially platforms like substack allow you to monetize that even in a way that it was harder to do in the past, And so you know, would rather kind of keep control of a lot of the short stuff and
then save the writing for other people from kind of like bigger profile stuff.
Right, So you know things like that.
But I guess you can't always subtract your way to greatness, right, This has to be a balance. Like eventually, I always have people, when they're looking at their schedules, ask what they want to spend more time doing, before I have them say what they want to spend less time doing. Because to some degree, when you put more things that you love in a lot of the stuff that you don't like as much will naturally take less time. Not always,
but to some degree. And so focusing on like the good stuff often makes people feel like they're having more fun and like life is a positive force.
And then we can go clean up some of the stuff that we need to get rid of. But you have to do both. You have to add and you have to subtract.
Yes, otherwise you end up with as our guests, we'll discuss kram it in syndrome, which sounds bad, So you can learn more about that in just a minute.
Yeah, we don't want to cram it in, all right. Well let's hear from Amy Laski.
Well, I am so excited to welcome Amy Laski of the Difference Lab onto best of both worlds today because I was so intrigued when I heard that she has this expertise and focus right now on intentional subtraction. We are always tempted to add things, as Laura and I talked about a little bit in the intro, maybe me especially, and so I'm really excited to kind of get her perspective on the other side. So welcome, Amy, Thank you so much for having me so Amy, your company or
organization is called the Difference Lab. How did you become interested in intentional subtraction and what is it exactly?
Okay, So, intentional subtraction is the skill of being able to fiercely focus on what drives value by subtracting what doesn't. And I came to this by way of being a former workaholic, I would characterize myself. And it's human nature to want to add ad ad. We women, especially are inclined to just do more, and I think we're kind of socially driven to be more and to do everything
perfectly into the nth degree. And that certainly was me and so throughout my life in corporate and then running my own business for many years, while simultaneously then growing my family. I realized this wasn't sustainable. And I, through the help of Laura's books and I'm just developing new habits, figured out what I needed to do to run my business, to run my family, and what didn't need to get done and how to still get stuff done without me
doing it. And I recently changed careers and partnered up with another woman who had done some amazing work and come up with the concept of intentional subtraction. And so here we are running the Difference Lab.
That is so cool.
And the Difference Lab does it mainly work with small businesses other people as individuals. How do your services kind of work? And I guess walk me through what your assessment might look like and maybe a little example of how you might apply intentional subtraction in that context.
So at the Differencelob, we work with usually large companies, large to medium companies that bring us in to work with individuals across their organizations or with teams.
Within their organizations.
That's when it's most effective when you have a team that's together, committed with their leaders to figuring out what they're supposed to be doing and what really drives value in, you know, to their company, and then how to dehabit and kind of get rid of what isn't driving value.
And so we work, we run workshops that are usually three sessions long, and over that time we take people through the process of identifying how we came here in the first place, and what habits are underlying our inclination to add ad ad, and then how to identify those and then rehabit by subtracting and kind of living a subtraction lifestyle.
We would say, very interesting, can you I know it might be a little bit like specific to whatever industry and obviously you can't share specifics of companies that you're contracted to work with, but could you share like even a vague example of what that might look like, maybe both in the professional context and then like a personal example if you can, if you have one, sure.
Well, definitely the concept of intentional subtraction can be very much applied both to professional and to your personal life. So once you get into the mode of spotting what we call supposed to So these are the things that we perceive as mandatory, but they really kind of divert us from what the most essential work or the most essential elements of our life are so on the professional side,
I'll stay the obvious. But meetings. Ever since COVID, you know, the rate of making everything a meeting has gone up exponentially, and now everything is a meeting, and not just a meeting, but an hour long meeting or meeting weekly that's in our calendars, and that eats up a lot of time, especially if you don't have good meeting hygiene governing those meetings.
So that's a big supposed to that.
We help people identify, and then once you spot them, we realize, Okay, where do they come from and what can we do to reduce our reliance on meetings in a life? Everything from you know, I'm supposed to cook healthy meals for my family every day.
Home cooked meals. I have to send.
Hand written notes for baby gifts, be the one who organizes all my friends going out things like that. So these are all kind of the supposed tos that underlie our habit of taking on more things that don't necessarily align with what drives value.
Do you see obviously not all of the time. I can't imagine it's going to be so black and white, But do you see gender differences in what tends to I don't know, reveal itself as coming off of people's calendars, or do you find different or more things to remove from one gender or the other, or does it seem to be fairly neutral.
I mean, I think we've both read statistics about kind of this invisible load, how women tend to carry more of the burden of running a.
Family just generally speaking.
So I think there's definitely differences in terms of we look at our whole lives and what comprises how we spend our time. So I think there's definitely gender differences in a corporate setting, which is where we work most
of the time. It really depends on what's kind of again underlying people's tendency to take on more so, whether it's people pleasing or perfectionism mirroring, like you come into an organization and you kind of tend to take on what habits are existent already, and so ego is another one, like showing everybody you can do this and things like that.
Those are what we call kind of onerous obstacles. So those are the things that prevent us from divesting of things that aren't really serving us anymore.
That makes sense. It just made me think of the concept of non promotable tasks. We had in excess that on many years ago, and they did seem to disproportionately
fall to women. And I can imagine if you were looking at a team and you were like, you know, thirty percent of the things you're doing are actually not moving the needle on what we actually need this team to then clearing it out would do everyone a favor, right, because then you're meeting more of the objectives of the team and you're perhaps helping from a career standpoint as well.
That percent, well, there's these statistics that show, you know, like about sixty percent of people's time now knowledge work or time is actually spent on work about work and not the work itself, So not the knowledge work that you're hired to do. You know, you're hired for our brains. We're hired for our different abilities and our skills, and the majority of the time we're actually not spending our time at work using those skills towards the end that
we're supposed to have in mind. So our programm really helps organizations refocus on that knowledge work that you're hired to do in the first place. But importantly, it sounds really easy. Okay, I'm just going to stop doing these things, But it's really really tough, and so we walk people through the framework and the process and the accountability for actually doing so.
I can imagine it being really tough. I mean, honestly, it's totally different in a medical context. But I still think about how access to care could be improved if I was really only doing doctory things and not kind of having to mix it up with all kinds of other things. But at the same time, sometimes it's not so straightforward to delegate various things, and I'm sure that in the corporate context it can be similar. So super interesting.
Tell me about kram it all in syndrome. That doesn't sound good at all.
Well, I mean, I think it's rampant. It's kind of a new epidemic, right, not new, but a ramp epidemic. The idea that you're just trying to cram it all in, the idea that our to do lists keep getting ever longer, were there's so many digital distractions, things are coming at us quicker than we can come at it. And the idea of cram it all in syndrome is that we have these to do lists and these priority lists, and we just keep trying to reash off things up and
down the to do list. And many people that we encounter when we go in to do our training, the idea of actually taking something off their to do list or out of their priority list is just revolutionary. And so our tendency is to cram it all in. And what we do is help people fight that tendency by actually subtracting things out in order to focus on what really matters.
Okay, that makes sense. That's going to lead up to our next topic. But we are going to take a very quick break and we'll be right back. All right, we are back, And I think this is very much aligns with what you were just talking about, just the temptation of oh, I can fit in everything, whereas we know our time is finite. We learned that from Laura right like, she has books which specifically say that, and
I'm with that wholeheartedly. So since we can't cram it all in and we have to eliminate things, I like that you referenced in your work something about supposed to
and encourage people to question that. Can you talk about what that might look like maybe on the professional side and then also on the personal side, and how do you help people get away from the idea that like, they won't be a good student, good mom, good person if they're not doing things that they were ingrained to believe are quote required.
Yeah, it's a real, real toughye.
Like, our greatest enemy, you know, in living in a more focused way is ourselves and is kind of what's been culturally ingrained ever since, usually when we were very young, right, your women especially are taught to try to do everything perfectly, and perfect is the enemy of good enough. We start by identifying and helping people catch themselves asking why are we doing it? Why are we doing it in this way? And doesn't need to be done in this way going forward?
Is there a better way to do it? And oftentimes, you know, what historically made us successful in our lives, and whether it's a corporate or a medical setting, what got you to the point you're at isn't necessarily what will get you to the next point or achieving your next goals in your careers. And so yeah, I guess some if you're looking at some kind of supposed to is that we see very common in a corporate setting. You know, you're supposed to do everything perfectly. You're supposed
to work late. You know, that's often rewarded actually, and you know so and so burn the midnight oil, or you know, you're supposed to be accessible all the time, like hey, I'm just at my kids dance recital or on the soccer sidelines, but you can reach me if you need.
So those are things that we do to.
Try to be generous to our teams, but in fact they send signals that this is what's expected in the organization. And then on the personal front, things like you know, I'm supposed to solve everybody's problems. People can come to me with different issues and not that I mean, you want to be a good friend and a good parents and whatever, but there's a certain amount of kind of emotional burden that you end.
Up taking on.
And again it's one of those things that we end up doing out of habit as opposed to more consciously, which is what we try to drive that awareness by helping people spot those supposed.
To I feel like there was a parallel in both of those, which is maybe boundaries, right, Like I think sometimes there is this cultural expectation with work is like, oh, I'm not supposed to have any firm boundaries. Yeah, you
can get me at any time, it's okay. And yet long term, that mainly to someone deciding that this job is like unsustainable, that they're burned out, that they're angry because they can't be perfectly responsive at twenty four to seven three sixty five, and and they're doing no work. So then it like backfired on everyone or they're sort
of half there, which I think can be problematic. Like if I call the doctor on call, I guess I would rather it be someone who like, how do I put this, Let's say you're calling a whole group and instead of a call schedule, everyone's on a call for themselves all the time, which means it's sometimes you're going to get someone who's like really distracted because they're like not going to be able to focus three sixty five.
Versus if you have a call system, they might not be your person, but you're getting someone who like has agreed to take call and is going to put their focus into it, if that kind of makes sense.
So one, it's figuring out.
So I mean that's we say, I guess subtraction has options, right, So it's not just like a black or white thing like if you were looking to share duties, if I'm understanding you.
Correctly with other doctors.
Then the idea if it doesn't have to just be you who's responding, even if you're elsewhere and you know, and doing something else, if you're sharing duties amongst others, then yeah, you get somebody who has that undivided attention and your patients are cared for, even if it's not you doing the caring, which that kind of inner striver.
And you may wish to be the one who handles all the calls and is on top of everything, but sometimes we have to be selective about what we can be on top of in order to fully really own it.
And that definitely connects to you had a kind of an interesting idea framework around not necessarily saying yes or no to things when you're thinking about subtraction, but instead thinking about maybe how you can do things differently. Do you want to talk about that sets framework?
Sure, so we call kind of we say, you know, to do or or not to do is not the only question. There's a happy middle gram where you can get things done, but it doesn't have to be you doing it. So we've come up with the sets framework, which is basically strike all or part of a task. So does this actually need to get done or maybe not, maybe it's not working anymore and maybe we can strike that.
Or even if I'm supposed to have one on one meetings with my direct reports to check in, does that have to be done every week or can that be done every other week or on an as needed basis. The E is energy, so recalibrating the energy that you're devoting to something or the time you're spending. So that's the tease spending on stuff, so it matches up with
the urgency and importance. You don't have to do everything perfectly and with your full energy and giving a ton of time to get things done and then.
Looks like sorry, I'm just so curious about the energy. One give me an example of recalibrating the energy, Like, are you suggesting that some people kind of waste their best energy on like email? And like maybe that should be I don't know, Like how would it look to still get something done but recalibrate the energy behind it.
I'll give you an example.
My kids are having an end of your school you know, pool parties, and I really.
Could go out all out.
That is my tendency is to like kind of go over the top, but instead we're having ordering in pizza, having some treats, cutting up a watermelon, and the kids will have probably just as much, if not more fun than if I had gone over the top, and I will have spent a fraction of the time for the same fun.
Output, I would say. So that's what I would.
Call like an example of recalibrating the energy.
You'd vote to something awesome, so figuring out ways to just make it easier, make it take less energy, and still accomplish the same thing. That makes sense.
I had a boss who once said to me, you know you're good enough. It's somebody else's perfect, and we're really again, I think socialized to show up and give one hundred and ten percent and everything, but not everything requires one hundred and ten percent to be given in order to get or done. And so yeah, that's what this is about. Oh and then the last the S we forgot the S, which is what we say of
sets substitute out. So that's basically delegate, so substitute ownership over a task that you formally took on yourself and have somebody else taking it on perfect.
So what I was going to say is it sounds like sometimes people resist this a little bit, which is why why your company exists. I mean, you know, you can give people this list and say, oh, yeah, subtract out and it sounds really good. And yet I'm sure
in practice it is incredibly hard to change very ingrained routines, customs. Oh, this meeting's been on the docket for a decade, Like what kinds of obstacles do you encounter and how do you go about bypassing those when you go into work with companies?
Yeah, I think you're right, it is.
Habit change is hard, but we apply best practices for changing habits, and key to that is really, first of all, understanding, so really getting to the root of what's causing you to take things on in the first place, and really questioning things in your schedule again, why are we doing this? Does this ladder up to the greater goal? And then what do we do with this if we're going to change how it's done. Yeah, and there's kind of lots of obstacles, and we work through with people to get
that understanding. Because once you actually understand what your tendencies are and once you spot things within an organization.
We take people through the process.
Of spotting tasks that may not be serving the team or the company or yourself personally anymore. And once you start to spot those and are aware of some of your tendencies or what we call onerous obstacles, it's much easier to actually start that change process. And so that's really what we take people through.
And it's especially.
Effective when you have a whole team involved, because people can spot things in one another, the team can commit to together making certain subtractions and hold each other accountable the leaders as well, and so that's really what's the most effective device for change.
I'm picturing literally going through someone's calendar and to do list and then every single thing you see on there just like almost like decluttering mindset, kind of like yes see this can it go? Where can it go? And like holding it in your hand and then like deciding to like peacefully let go of it or or change.
That's right, that's right, Yes, that's exactly what we do. And the other thing to point out is it's, like I say, it's like closet space. It fills up if you've got it. And so once you've actually freed up the time. The critical part is making sure you're spending that time on what's valuable. And so that's again where that the accountability comes in, whether it's to yourself, to your team, to a buddy, to make sure that you're reallocating the time in such a way that drives value.
Well, that is super cool. We're going to talk a little bit about you now. Even though I love I love the subtraction topic, our listeners are always eager to get a little bit of an inside glimpse at the lives of a lot of the guests we have, especially if you have an interesting career and you have a busy and full kind of work in life, how that
works for you. So I guess to start us off, we are going to do our famous day in the life, but I want you to explain how you came to have the Difference lab, Like what was your journey from working in it? Sounds like more traditional corporate kind of setting, Like how did you go about changing things? And like how did things look now?
Sure? So, I actually I graduated business school in two thousand and one, and I actually pursued a career in communications. So I worked at a couple of top pr agencies in Toronto, and then just with my husband and I had planned, you know, to start trying to have a family and extend last hurrah.
I got recruited to work at Coca Cola, and so I did that. You can't get more corporate than that.
I had two kids while I was there, and when I was to return from my second Matt leave, I asked for a flexible work option and I was told no, your job is all or nothing, and so I left and that was the impetus for me starting my own virtual PR agency and so.
I did that way before Zoom became.
A firm, and I hired people who were like me, wanted to work but didn't want to do so full time in an in person corporate setting.
And these were smart, talented senior people. We did some great work and I ran that for about twelve years, and just this past year I realized, you know, I'm not in love.
With communications anymore, and I want to do something else. What did I learn in this process and what skills and value do I have to add to the world. And I realized that, you know, I got really good at the whole time thing, and so I thought, maybe I can help other people figure out how to focus
on what matters for them. And I was connected to this woman, Janet Winkler who she's an insights background and interviewed like three hundred and fifty subject matter experts and people who were trying to cram it all in, and she realized the difference between the people who were crushing it and the people who were being crushed was this concept of intentional subtraction. So we've been working now together for about six seven months and loving it.
So yeah, so cool.
Took your life lessons, your business background, and probably a dash of your pr put it all together and came up with a new business venture that sounds so cool. Okay, well, Amy, tell me what a day in your life looks like, including remind well, tell our listeners how old your kids are, kind of what things look like on a regular old weekday in your household.
There's no such thing as a regular old weekday in my household. So I have three daughters, a husband and lovely husband and three daughters ten, thirteen and fifteen. So we're in the throes of, you know, between teenage hood and yeah, they're amazing, very active and so never a dull moment, I guess.
I start my day usually by between six six thirty.
I wake up, I work out for about an hour, and then I either bike or walk with my youngest daughter to school.
My other two kids get to school independently. There are three separate schools this year.
And then my my zen moment of the day is when I have a coffee and read the newspaper after I've dropped her off. I usually reserve the mornings for doing heads down work, so I try not to schedule meetings then because I find I'm most productive at that point, and then you know, have lunch in the afternoon, I reserve for meetings, calls, walk meetings, Aaron's usually, and then dinner.
So I actually just we've had a full time nanny throughout the girl's upbringing and then just this year went down to part time, so I usually have my nanny do the meal prep and things like that when she's here, so that I just have to throw things together on the days that she's not here, and kids much prefer the days that she's not at our house because the dinners are much better and talk about delegating. So we have dinner usually it's you know, sometimes coming and going
because there's soccer, hockey, dance, all those things. And yeah, I take a guitar lessons, so I do that some evenings and then Friday night dinners we usually have together as a family, so that's usually the one constant amongst our busy lives.
Ah. I love that, and it goes against the idea that like something has to be every night routine for it to count. But a week make it special. That sounds awesome. We're going to take a quick break before you get to our love of the week, but I think your day in the life sounds lovely and fun and I'm excited for you.
Thank you.
All Right, we are back and we are going to get to Amy's love of the week. I did warn her in advance, so I'm guessing she's got something for us.
Yes, you warned me in advance.
But it was an easy one because my love of the week is summer camp, overnight camp specifically, so not just the fact that my three girls are going to overnight camp so such a privilege, but just the concept of summer camp in general. I just believe it's such a formative experience.
I think kids learn as much being away from mom and dad as they.
Do all throughout the school year. You know, so many life lessons and life skills bills. I'm on the board of the Summer Camp. I went to nonprofit camp as a kid, and my two of my kids go to now. I think that that that's my love of the week, Summer Camp.
I love that. Well, my love of the week is going to be a little nerdy. But I just found out that Apple is going to allow time to texting, which it's been a thing in the android world. Like my husband likes he's an Android person, and he'll send it'll be like time text, it was sent whatever. But
Apple has not made that easy to do. I mean maybe there's a third party way to do it, but now you can like set your text up ahead of time and then have them delivered when you want, which I think is just going to make it so easy to like remind people of stuff, send like happy birthdays, Like you can look at your calendar and see whose birthday. I don't know, like all different kind of use cases for that, And I'm just super excited that feature is going to be a thing. So that is my love
of the week. Nice little bit nerdy. Well this has been lovely. Tell our listeners where they can find you your work as well as if they happen to be I don't know, at a business where they think they need your team, like, how could they make that happen?
Sure?
You can find all the information about our workshops on the Difference Lab dot com or you can find me on LinkedIn.
We can message through there.
So it's Amy, am why Lasky Laski? But really the Difference Lab dot com has all of our information and yeah, happy to answer any questions people have and see how intentional subtraction can benefit them.
Awesome, Thank you so much for coming on, Amy, This is really fun.
Thank you.
Well they are back.
Sarah has been interviewing Amy Laski of the Difference Lab about intentional subtraction and how that can add, as it were, to our lives.
So our question this week is.
From a listener who has noted that over the past few summers, Sarah and I have both done what we call mommy days, or at least mommy half days, where we do something fun one on one with each of our children. This sounds like fun, but I don't get a ton of PTO Plus, my kids are in regular camps or childcare much of this summer, so you know, I don't really want to pull them out of a day of gymnastics camp to go do a mommy day since they're probably having fun at that as well. So
what would you suggest? Is this still something worth pursuing? So, Sarah, what would you say?
Yeah, I don't have them on the calendar this year to be completely honest, because well.
I don't know.
I'm I'm not going to say they won't appear in some form. But last year I ended up doing them. I think three subsequent weeks. I took like a Tuesday. But recall that I only have two days to do my creative work per week, so taking one of them away for three subsequent week was rough. It was like almost like going on part of a vacation for three
weeks in a row. Because it might not seem like podcasting would take that much time, but there's two podcasts, there's the ads, there's a back end stuff, there's a blog, there's you know, like speaking sometimes, there's courses, there's like all kinds of stuff and one day is not an enough.
So that didn't work that amazingly for me, and like this listener, I don't have a lot of PTO, partly because I accrue it at a reduced rate because I work part time, which is fair, but it means I don't have like limitless clinical days that I can take off. So I think for me, the answer has been to
just like scale things down a little bit. And we have had great success with dinners, especially because our nanny is usually able to stay, so for me to pull a kid out for a one on one dinner on a given weeknight really doesn't strain the system all that much, like either Josh gets home or our nanny stays a little bit later, and that one kid feels really really special. We tend to choose restaurants that are, you know, it's
fast food. Is tough because you kind of want it to take a little bit of time and feel like a little bit of an event. At the same time, I do not want to like spend out for super fine dining with my six year old, So it's been like sushi restaurants or like the Boba tea place, or I don't know, something kind of in between that still feels kind of special and they get to pick the place. Maybe it's not super close by, so there's a little bit of drive involved as well, and then that's been
like a nice substitute. I'm sure they would also love to do the full day thing again, but maybe we'll scale it down in some other fashion. What are your thoughts on this?
Yeah, I mean I've done two long weekend trips now with two of my older kids, which I think should fill all mommy day requirements.
You know, I went to France with Ruth.
For a couple of days, and I discussed from yeah, just France, and I went to New York with Jasper for a couple of days and you know, yeah, that was a Christmas present that we were doing, but it was definitely a lot of time spent together.
And Michael took.
Sam diving, right, they went on a diving trip and so that was a lot of one on one time with a parent. So I mean, I think that we're doing these in slightly different ways now, and travel with an older kid is fun, and I've that's also like really worth taking.
I don't have pto but a day off from work to do.
As for the little kids, I might still wind up doing something with each of them, but we've also wound up sort of sharing this over both parents in a way that I hadn't originally envisioned it, but I think is a good option too.
So they're getting.
Last summer, Alex and Henry both had daddy Days where they went and did something all day with Michael, and he just did it on a weekend, And that is totally fine, like that, you could do a mommy day on a weekend, Like there's no requirement that you know, good mommy days only happen on Tuesday, like you know, to be a good mom, you have to actually take time off work to spend time with your kid, like especially if you have other adults, if you have multiple kids,
but you have other adults in your life who can do things with your children, like you don't have to consider weekends off limits or something like that. So if your partner has your other kids on a Saturday, go do one on one things with one of your kids on a Saturday, and maybe two weeks later you go
do it with the other kid. Or maybe they go to Grandma and Grandpa's for a day and you take one of them, or maybe you naturally have one of your kids off doing something like they're going on a class trip to an amusement park, and so you could take your other kid and do something on that day. So you can kind of just like look for opportunities
where this will arise. If I mean again, if you're like a standard family with two to three kids a five kids, maybe it's a little harder to get one on one time, but especially you know, we can make it work, right. It doesn't have to only be Tuesday,
it doesn't have to only be during the day. It's just the concept of spending some dedicated one on one time with your kids, which can be really fun when you're not navigating fights and all that and you're really just getting to know them and letting them do what they want to do. So I would say it's worth trying, even if it does look like the full week day.
Yeah, parenting one kid is really fun. There's like a totally different dynamic. No, seriously, like their personality is different, Like everything feels different. And I was just thinking as you were speaking, even if you had three kids and you were like, Okay, let's say both Josh and I did a solo day with one kid, like that would be six saturdays total for each of us. To have like one while the other one had two, and like,
that's not totally difficult, that's doable. And then you also have the interesting dynamic of just having the other two. I mean, in your case it's the other four, but in our case the different pairings can be kind of interesting. So yeah, maybe that'll be our new iteration. We'll see.
Sounds good.
All right, well, this has been best of both worlds. Sarah has been interviewing Amy Laski of The Different Slab about intentional subtraction. We will be back next week with more on making work and life fit together.
Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the shoebox dot com or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram, and you can.
Find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This has been the best of Both Worlds podcasts. Please join us next time for more on making work and life work together.