The Women’s Circle with Anoushka Florence

the 29th of July a little Leo and little Virgo crazy and what sign do you both are babies are sleeping and I can hear my, I think she's okay I'm a Leo I'm July 27th I'm two days cute tiring and what are you I'm a Pisces salamander family love I Pisces okay well you're here for many reasons we connected, anoushka Florence we connected over Instagram.

The magical maddening Instagram because we have been walking kind of parallel lives which is so nice to feel kinship in that way we brought babies into the world and we brought books into the world and. We both really believe in the power of circle and you wrote this wonderful book called The Women's Circle that is come out in the United States, on June 21st Solstice how auspicious so we are here to chat about Mama being a mama.

Being a book writer while being a mama and this beautiful practice of circle and this gorgeous book that you have written so thank you for being here thank you so much for having me Becca I felt like the moment I listened to your podcast I actually remember where I was I was in lockdown, five months pregnant in the countryside walking through a field and I found your podcast and I started listening to you and it was like everything you were saying,

I was like echoing I was like yes I know I know that feeling yes I am going through that too so it's beautiful to be connecting now and sharing our Journeys together I know and then you wrote you you did a voice memo over Instagram you were the person that taught me that there are voice memos on Instagram and I could hear your you walking I could hear your lease your feet crunching on the leaves and you just share your heart with me and then I didn't get that message to like three months later

because I understand I understand now how the hands work and I was like hi are you still around because I'm so bad to you and here we are well I have just power read your beautiful book over the weekend before us recording.

Because it's not out in the states yet but it's as we're recording this in end of May spring summer Vibes in the northern hemisphere you're in London I'm just North of San Francisco talking so I got like a pre version of this book for it lands here and you know what I thought the whole week and I was reading it is thank goodness She Wrote This Book thank goodness it like answered every question.

That people ask me when I share my circle practice I don't teach it I used to but I don't teach anymore you, and I have just like there's these questions over and over people ask and I thought there needs to be a book and the book I love is Jean Shinoda boland's on the millionth Circle yes I remember to which is a really special book but it's sort of like, a poem like a no Maj to Circle and you this beautiful book you've written is like part poem omage to Circle, and then a part like okay.

Here's the deal here are all your questions answered and also empowering every person reading the book to not go into the dogmatic practice of like a certain lineage to be like I am power you, to do this so thank you for writing this book, I'm going to just refer it to everyone it's until people this if you're really stuck if you're really stuck on Circle, here's a place to start,

thank you so with that being said I would love to know how you were called to Circle yourself because I know you grew up in a tight-knit Jewish Community you had sort of this like, Bohemian mother and there's so much that informs where we land in life and I would love to know how you landed in a space of really being devoted to the practice of Cirque so yeah and he said kind of I grew up with Rachel and tradition and Community being at the.

Epicenter of my world so in my culture we would gather to mark. Rites of Passage to lock holy days new Moon's faster so the festivals and times I love and loss and.

It was just in me this knowing of the importance of gathering however as I kind of got older I realized that, I wanted to seek out a journey of my own skirt till journey of my own as much as Judaism on said a lot of my questions there was a lot left unanswered especially to do with the feminine and the role of the feminine and so I kind of began the spiritual Quest and went to cultures outside of my own,

to seek counsel and inspiration and when I was about 22 23 I met this wise woman in England of Celtic lineage.

And I started going to see her every Monday and she, unexpectedly just started sharing this ancient feminine practices with me so I'll never forget walking into her apartment and she lived on the edge of Hampstead Heath which is the Sacred Space of London and I walked into the smell of hugs Brewing on the stove and astrology and Tarot books masking the bookshelves and purple cloths and caldrons and herbs hanging upside down and it was this. Stepping into the space it was.

It was like a returning of some sort and I didn't know what that returning was but it felt so familiar and so I started learning from her and she would.

Teach me and pass on these ancient feminine practices with me so everything from how to read tarot to herbalism to working with the moon cycles astrology how to walk with the seasons and the more I learned from her the more I felt this e-learning this Fire Within me that said I can't be the only woman knowing about these practices why weren't we taught them at school and so I decided that I was going to open up my living room

and invite this wise woman into my space to share with other women who may be interested in these practices so I put out a calling and we decided to do it on a new moon and all these women, I started joining up this was about 8 years ago and all of a sudden every new moon we would gather, and this wise woman would share these ancient practices with us about five circles in an elderly lady decided to attend and.

Before she left she handed me a book and the book was The Red Tent and she said you know what you're doing right, and I said not really and she passed me the book and she said read it so I read it in about two days and, it was powerful and the second couldn't put it down it was recalling this ancient feminine practice, the practice of the circle the remembrance of women when women used to gather.

How they would Gather in tents and connect and remember that power and sit in this Sacred Space together. And that was my realization that the circle was calling me. And the moment I realized that actually what I was creating here was ancient. It was the moment I realized this was everything I wanted to do with my life and so that was my calling back to the circle.

This is calling within me I'm wondering if you can name that teacher here to honor that lineage yes her name is Zoey Hind and she is Celtic Pagan my first teacher. I can send you how to details if anyone cares to connect with her as well beautiful yes what can I do to her.

I could listen to you did you do the audio version of this because I like listening to you talk is it just because I have a birthday Jackson that does help for those of us who are severed from the Homeland no I think it's also the way you just use it sounds like you. You think of I don't know the way you speak in the way you think of circle just feels like I'm living poem.

And it resonates with my with my inner calling as well so what happens in circle what kind of magic happens in circle, circle is the place of remembering it's the place that gives you the permission to. Come back to who you are to the women before you were to the women who are in front of you all. Become it's the Journey of the feminine. And for me the circle is that safe and Sacred Space where you can remember who you who you are.

And let go of who everyone else told you to be so it is a space of. It's remembrance have you had any really particularly.

Transformative or potent experiences in circle like I'm just listening to you and I can remember there are certain I'll give an example and then maybe you can get one, for many years I was calling in my child Atlas many I went through many losses I had a beautiful healer acupuncturist here say like let your heart be broken by your yearning for your child like let your heart be and find a space to have be brokenhearted because it felt very vulnerable,

to want a child and it felt very vulnerable to share how painful that was, you know it just in the wider world had to armor up my heart a little bit but I have this beloved circle that has been on the new moon for the last 8 years. And I I made it it was it's a sharing Circle I'm so we each have equal time to share. What's true for us then I will say we followed the lineage of jinsha notable in the million Circle which is no hierarchy and we'll talk about that stuff later but I remember.

For a while for like a year every Circle I would just cry more and more, in the beginning it felt so terrifying and I would almost apologize and I'd feel insecure I'd be like I don't know what's wrong with me you know people say like sorry for crying and then by the end of that sort of Arc I would just. Sivan Saab over my deep longing for a child.

And that space be witness no one held me this was back when we're meeting in person no one held me no one comforted me no one handed me a tissue to dry my snot I was be I was be held in the candle light. As I was brokenhearted and it was so healing very scary and then so exquisite. And that Circle held me through the early tender days of being pregnant and then being like Oh I think this is going to happen.

To being a mother in lockdown and being they were surrounded me at my mother blessing they surround me energetically during labor and birth. And they're with me now as I navigate the next phases so I don't know how this would have gone for me if it wasn't for Circle so that's that's mine I wonder what's yours to share so beautiful. I think what's potent to share for me right now is. I got into this pattern of holding so much space that I forgot to sit in my own circles for a while.

It was only after becoming a mother. That I realized how much I needed to be held in that space again and so I. I called out to my Doula I said there is no way I can hold this space right now but I need this space I need a mom of a ledge I need Mama's around me I need a circle. I cannot hold it could you hold it for for me for us. My beautiful to let there be and so together we sent out the calling.

During the lockdown steering covid for any Mama's who wanted to gather and circle and we have been gathering for just over a year in the most tender, Rolf honorable Time Of Our Lives becoming mother's moving through the lockdowns the uncertainty. Sitting in those circles with our children in the space as well with our children however not for our children. As being the medicine because this is a space of the mothers to remember that the mothers need of space.

For them and for me right now this has been. My weekly tonic my weekly down for the Journey of motherhood. Has been a safe and Sacred Space that I can go to with my child where I feel held and seen and witnessed on my journey, oh yeah I can't have enough of those spaces to be held when we are doing so much holding and I really appreciate you sharing that. As I mean you have a book and a brand all about. Holding space and and teaching you of this course for teaching and I can see how.

You can easily slip into the space of not being held yourself and that is right the medicine you teach to be an integrity. You've got to have a circle that holds you okay so I'm going to back up for a second because I remember when I was first getting into this hole. Quote world not to make it colty or like one space.

Anyone is welcome into circle of any Journey you can wear this what I say you can wear whatever it doesn't have to be flowy know like didn't you didn't have I really just practice you could not have a religious product you know there's so many things here that you speak to beautifully in your book around the way in which you approach a ritual, and circle in a non-dogmatic way coming from.

A religion I find I found that I had when I was entering into this space of being like women circles Sisterhood spirituality paganism earth-based practices that I felt daunted by the language, and there was a way in which I felt a nun belonging in the language and so when people would just throw around this word Circle I'd be like what do you mean. Like is what don't I see and so what is circle in the most basic definition suckle is. Gathering in a circle in the shape of a circle with intention.

Creating a space of non-judgment a space to be seen and held and Witness. Add a space where you feel safe to share and release. And reconnect so I think it is its most basic space that is. That is circle right and so what are some of the tenants like what are the important touchpoints of a circle that. I'm trying to find the right word and I don't want it to be.

You know a patriarchal dominant work of like successful Circle a circle that serves well like what are the important touch points to consider because this is this book is for people who want to create more Circle in their lives or host or so what are important touch points for a circle that. Serves so I think creating a. A space that feels safe where people feel at ease and.

Warm I was Vision the circle is this kind of wound like space and I always share that with other women on how we can recreate a space that feels like you could just bowl and melt into. So this is usually the opposite of you know our day-to-day lives this is a space that gets the oxytocin flowing a space that is this is that. That kind of connection another Touchstone would be. The power of holding space versus trying to fix someone else.

So I actually touched upon before in your circle you were given that space to cry to break down where in life are we given that opportunity. To break down in front of others without others coming to your rescue. You are not here to be saved in the circle you hit the save yourself in the circle. And the medicine comes when we can witness each other in that metamorphose. As we are transforming an alkalizing and healing to be witnessed through that is the medicine at the Circle.

And so fundamental in the circle, you are not here to fix anyone and what that looks like is when someone shares when someone's breaking down when someone's opening this is a moment for you to sit and truly see them and hear them. Not to happen not to give them advice not to wipe their tears away. To sit in your own space and hold that space for them and I'd say the last thing for me that has been. So powerful in circle is like a service there's two things really.

Giving space to connect back to yourself whether that's through meditation or introspection to really create the space and environment for you to check in with you authentically. Which again I feel like it's a rare in our day-to-day lives that we're given that invitation to just check-in. And lastly ritual which I know is so. Dear to your heart introducing ritual back into our lives through the circle is such a beautiful way that we can begin to.

Bring this practice back and for me ritual can look like anything you do with the intention of making it sacred yeah I would I would add that.

Those are all really beautiful and so real and true I would add that you're sitting in a circle shape right and I love that you bring up in the book that that is a non-hierarchical shape it is you know it's matriarchal and communal by Nature it's healing just to sit in a group in a circle, versus having a teacher high up and you all facing or whatever it is and then within that there's a place to Center your attention usually like

a simple candle could be in the middle but this is really the power of alter creation, yes Falcon space and that can be a part of the circle ritual creation of the altar or it could just be there by whoever is physically hosting the space. I find that just yeah like the flame of a candle right in the center because there can be an intimidation of sitting of Simply sitting in circle together and so if the flame of the candle in the center is a great way to soften yeah find presence.

Yes I love that I have a ritual basket which I speak about in the book which is like my Essential tools that I bring to every Gathering. I have a mama candle a mother candle Jack bass in the center like you and then all the tools that I might need. To guide women through or the we might be using in the space and I find crystals very helpful and flowers a deck of oracle cards as well. We want to connect to the cosmos yeah paper and pens always Essentials for me.

First win don't want to share in that moment I find it really useful to give them some paper and a pen to just begin to channel things down. Because as you know so much arises in the space whether it's arising from within you or being reflected. Outside of You by the women who are sharing. So much medicine it just seeps through in the circle so having different tools to kind of guide and support the energy.

Is yeah it's a beautiful thing to have as well yeah and I think some some herbs to burn to clear and energy I know you talked about that too because sometimes things arise.

And it's clearing is such an important ritual practice that I think is so is sometimes forgotten or lost or people are nervous around because it might bring up a sense of like oh I don't know but I'm yeah a sense of being dissociated from energy management, being able to tune into energy in the space or more navigate your own and to work with the burning I am such a, it's one of the practice magical practices that is so important to me is the burning of plants and smoke medicine and space,

me to adjust shifts things it's incredible seeing the power of it. You talk about a ritual in your book I'd never heard of witches broom purification mmm I'm wondering if you could just share what that is. It was kind of a fusion between my mother and my first teacher Zoe and my mom always used to say to me. If you're stuck pick up a broom and it was this idea that if you just take a broom and start brushing. The energy will shift your energy will shift.

Your mind will settle things will change by just picking up that broom and giving it a brush and then when I met Zoe, she introduced me to this idea purifying space By by cleaning physically cleaning and I think so often in the new-age world we rely on this kind of spiritual cleansing which is you know, moving thought smoke through the room to clear the space that the physical act of cleaning,

holds up very soon medicine and that is a medicine that our ancestors knew as well you know when women in the past Century you know were, predominantly homemakers let's not forget that they were using their power through the home right so when they were cleaning.

They were cleaning and clearing the space both physically and energetically for their families that was a medicine it wasn't just the simple Act of cleaning a room, it's the intention that you place into it and so I love that there's a ritual before Circle, this is physical act of clearing the space cleaning the space making sure it is clean before we begin yeah one of my teachers was Millie early, who taught me folk medicine and magic of Old Europe really connecting back to.

This this place that my ancestors are from pre patriarchy, whatever that means and understanding like the power of what we what has somehow been dulled down to like mundane, meaningless in quotes like tools of keeping a home as being like the most magical tools around a way to preserve the magic and times that we're uncertain or unsafe and the broom, being being one that has held it

and we all reminded of that you know and we didn't with which lure and all of that and she taught me that the vacuum can be that and that the sponge can be that you know and we let's expand our awareness of how to move energy in and move energy out, which I was so thankful for and I'm glad that was literally passed down to you through your mother, how special I did here Luna are you feeling okay with everything I think I'm just,

I am aware of her yeah I think my husband's got her but if it get ya out. It's not about a loudness it's more about I know that when I hear my baby I'm like yeah my heart's a bit over that but I'm saying that gets loud I'll go but if you'll go out that okay he's settling her.

Of course he could handle it yes you can got it yeah okay so I'm just trying to be a voice of the people and, here's something that I just know someone listening many are listening are thinking and what comes up a lot for me with people who message me number one message I get and I wonder what they are for you is like where's the where's the Women's Circle in my area and I saying I think you're supposed to start one and then they go I've scared no and then the second thing,

well I am really uncomfortable around women and I I'm introverted or I've been burned or I'm just a guy's gal or you know I'm Queer non-binary as a safe for me there's so many ways in which. And it all makes sense I'm not making it wrong.

It's been a long many many generations of tearing ass away from each other and making Circle feel and safe I'm wondering if you have any thoughts to share about that particularly for people who come to you who are like this is, very itchy for me well I'd say that anyone that comes.

Camille you the calling is alive inside of them otherwise they wouldn't be messaging so the circle is present it's calling you, and I would encourage every person to stop exactly where they are so in my training first thing we do before we learn what even a circle is is we connect to what the intention is to why they're here why the circle is calling them and, what they'll find pretty quickly is this spark this longing.

Together together and I share always that I started with that exact same longing 8 years ago. And I didn't know what I was doing and I've never had space before and I didn't do a teacher training and I just followed this longing which is I want to gather with a group of women in my apartment on the living room floor and share practices about all the beautiful things that I'm learning that was it.

And so I just did it and each person who hears this calling has a longing whether it's I have a longing to gather together with encircled because I need to heal this wound I have around other women. Or I want to gather in circle because I. I feel like I don't know who I am and I wonder if there are other people out there who don't know who they are to. And so I want to gather so getting clear on on what it is that you are longing for in the circle. Is the step to live honorably seeking that out.

And knowing that actually the medicine will come from you being that conduit to call in. The tribe of people awaiting you who are waiting to call as well so that that calling is the initiation. And I would say Scott exactly where you are and know that is all that you need yes and. Beautifully said I would add that for folks who are like.

I'm afraid of coming invite people and no one will want to come I'd say 99.9% of people want this, I really want this and if they can't come because of like whatever reason it's not about you maybe it's their schedule or they're scared or whatever it is but people want this and I also say. What I'm feeling from you and what's resonating in me is like circle is a healing modality it's not.

Things can come up in circle right like I love how you talked about reflection and mirroring like there could be I've had experiences where, women in circle have been deeply triggering and I've had to look at why, why is it because they're shining so brightly and I feel Envy is it, because I need to look at something within myself am I in a state of grief I find that the more I'm in the practice the more I get my capacity to hold all of those feelings at once can be,

but I like to be straight up that like circle is a practice that helps us grow. Man for folks who are particularly are like trying to heal their relationship with women like it will be challenged but that's no reason to run I mean I've been in circles that have needed Deep Repair like there have been riffs, and I'm so proud of all of us for going through that this was a devout these are devoted circles who've met over time,

yeah so I'm wondering what you what you have to say about circles in trouble or circles who have it issues or maybe spaces that aren't held well and I know you teach this so what do you have to share about that I think as you said.

It is a practice it's not a solution for anything and so I like to see it as it's all the work, whatever Rises it's the walk it's the medicine so trusting the things that come up and kind of seeing it as your homework right as as what you can take outside of the circle. And walk away. And again returned and see what alkalizes see what chefs as you bring certain aspects into Consciousness and into your awareness. In terms of if you're feeling that is circle is not.

A safe space you know as much as there isn't a hierarchy which there is an incircle the space holder is. I guess a little bit more responsible to ensure that the space is safe and that. The energies are flowing and so if they're feels like. Arrest or if that feels like things on in harmony than I would encourage the space holder to reach out.

And to create conversations to open up conversations I've known circles that, have evolved and flourished many many moons and I've known some that have chosen to go their own way and create new spaces. And that's okay too you know this is all learnings and teachings. Yeah to really see the circle as the work itself I think is is a way to.

Understand the journey unfolding as well hmm right in the devotion is to the practice of circle it's not a best friends Club yes I think that's a great thing to yeah to help. Because there's so many of us are walking this Earth with a you know an ancestral burden of being. Of women being torn away from each other or not being safe together there's so much we carry whether it's our own story our ancestral story and and so it's this longing we have together.

It's deep and the work is deep and I don't say that to scare people I just I say it to let. It's for us to know how important it is you know and if you're ever in a circle where there's.

Okay here's something I've noticed is because we're so desperate together sometimes, and in many of us are many of us not all of us are caretaking fawning Harmony desires and so if something's up we may just, push it down because we're just so grateful to be together right and then we create a culture of Silence which is part of the problem I'd say beautiful yeah and so this is a muscle I really want us to strengthen together.

You know as we continue to Circle and this is a long game there's no urgency here it's a long game. May we be blessed and privileged to live a long life and circle many many moons and heal this but to keep in mind that if there is something up that a circle can hold it, I've been in circle where people have brought things up in my body shook my body shook because I was like.

I hate conflict and I was like my body was like what's this we just had to get used to breathe breathe breathe breathe you know and it was just someone being like what you said. That hurt my heart and I noticed how intense that felt for me for us to not have Harmony but what I don't want us to do is to pretend. Do you know what I mean today totally and actually what happens when that happens.

Is a magic right we're also afraid of the fear was so afraid to step into that discomfort that as we know to our healing Journeys it's only when we touch the discomfort. That the discomfort Can Begin to Fall away and the medicine arrive. And so this is a beautiful. Johnny to go on right now in this conversation of actually when conflict is there. That's the very medicine that the circle needs in the circle will always bring what is needed. Whether it's his stories the songs the.

The Expressions that are held in that space the circle is bringing it to us so we need to trust that when conflict arise that it's there for the same reason too, enter step bravely Iris. Reading actually I bought the book of their lady you had on the podcast last week the medicine but. Sasha Frost yes and she said that. Circles are not safe spaces they are brave spaces yeah and that's exactly what we are leading into with this discussion is and it's become a brave space.

Space where we can bring our courage and vulnerability and the things that we hide away so deeply. We need to be brave and bring them to this space because the space can hold it so that was inspiring to bead thank you for bringing that in. It's so beautiful we're talking and the sun has gone down in London and you are lit by the single candle and it's just so beautiful nothing I have so many questions okay I have two more one is.

Because we are Kindred Souls can you just give us the real real and what it was like, to channel a book and a physical baby at the same time, so I think it was the moment I was six months postpartum when I had to write it the book in three months they wanted they had a three-month deadline, whoa. I just I invoked the mama the fierce Mama God knows what like. That she felt like a tiger in me and I was like right I am going to commit. I made an oath to myself I said I will commit.

Four hours a week or five hours a week every week for three months to writing this book. This is the only amount of energy I am willing to give. If I can write it then I'll do it if I can't then. I'll act so that was that was my oath to myself so for those hours in the week my mother and I had a beautiful woman called Kumari came and helped with childcare. They would watch Luna and me while I would sit in our home office and.

It felt like speed right these chapters and I felt the universe and goddess and this whole energy so with me every step of the way like we've got this deadline we've got this time crunch we're going to go we're going to go, I felt so divinely supported because it came through and it showed me wow when you have. Your mother and you have a time pressure how much you can get done. That was how I wrote the book with the Divine and with my mother and child care beside me.

Exhausted a lot of the time you drink caffeine I did I started to to actually it was I had a very interesting Journey with that I started drinking caffeine after Luna was born. Deal with this nights but then when I went to write the book I realized I couldn't Channel properly on coffee. And so I started drinking cacao and that was my it was just like a beautiful ritual that I had with it I was like it needs to be a more feminine to flow for me yeah I worked really it worked really well for me.

That was stages where I really was entered the book I'm on us. There were times when I looked at how much I needed to have done and even though in my hours of writing. I was still thinking of the book during the rest of the time. You know so that hours that I gave myself two right we're not just the work the work was the days where I was spent walking in the woods thinking what I was going to write about.

You know II gave it each week of seeing a chapter so if I was writing about Seasons I would really achieving to the seasons around me if I was working with the moon I would work with the moon phases that week so I really made it in a body practice but, there were many days where I looked at my child and I looked at my to do list and I felt resentful to it. There were many days where.

I wish they didn't have so much to do with my baby so I could just write and you know be in a little cabin somewhere and write my beautiful book. So it was hard it was a big tough a big task and. I think it only felt real when I held the book in my hands for the first time and I just took the biggest exhale. It's not like that was a Chinese that was a lot. Hi books aren't babies they are not babies but I kind of a they are there's a similarity there yeah definitely yeah.

Okay well we can wrap up here the book is called The Women's Circle, anoushka Florence you can find you at the goddess space.com or the goddess space on Instagram right. I'd say get this book if you want to make, Women's Circle practice in your life no matter where you are in all of that whether you've done it before you've never done it before this book is so helpful so well structured gorgeous inspiring and y'all leave it.

With you anything you want to an invitation or any wisdom that's coming through for folks listening to you I would just. Welcome you to invite Circle back into your life and to trust that it will guide you you don't need to guide it. So if you're hearing that calling it The Circle is speaking to you if this conversation has let a flame inside of you just follow the steps one step at a time.

Yeah it is every woman's Birthright to step into this space so allow yourself give yourself that permission. Beautiful may this book go far and wide. Thank you so much for listening in a time when our attention is being pulled in so many directions I feel honored you chose to devote some of yours here.

If you want to check out show notes or listen to past episodes go to belonging podcast.com and if you like what we talked about here and want to know more you can subscribe to my newsletter at Becca piastrelli.com, I'll be with you. Music.