Music. This is belonging a podcast that explores being alive in the age of loneliness I'm your host Becca piastrelli, a writer mother and Community tender currently living on the ancestral lands the coast of Miwok people and present day Marin County California. In this show we explore topics like Rites of Passage cultivating meaningful community, seasonal and cyclical living and what it means to be a good ancestor in these times.
I have thought-provoking conversations with friends teachers elders and ancestral medicine Keepers to help support you in bringing more meaning and connection to your life. I also pop in here and there to share updates and learnings from my own story because we were meant to do this together cosmically holding hands as we walk the spiral of life.
You can expect to be challenged by New or Old ideas face your beliefs and what systems informed them, curious and brave to tell the truth about the deeper harder things and feel comforted in the knowing that you don't. Music. Hi friends welcome back to the belonging podcast it's your host Becca piastrelli. Coming to you today on a sweltering day here on Coast Miwok land. Northern California the San Francisco Bay Area I think right now let me check my phone what is the temperature.
It is 105 degrees Fahrenheit outside so, I'm making this quick because I'm roasting in my little she shed on the side of my house that I deeply appreciate but it doesn't do well in the heat to let you know about this next, episode that I have for you it's a very tender and sweet and real conversation with someone who's become my friend Claire full, Claire full is based in Australia and Gary Gold Country she's a mum a Creator space holder a Brink Walker and ocean lover,
she works with eft the emotional Freedom technique and circle she leads and teaches Circle and is an idea doula.
So Claire reached out to me about postpartum depression perinatal mood disorders there are lots of words for it I shared a solo episode episode 101 about my journey with being diagnosed with delayed postpartum depression which I still feel like is that just a lazy word for what I had sir actually it just feels so much more complex than that and I think Claire got it because she reached out to me and said hey I had three kids
and I had a diagnosis every time and I think we should talk I think we should talk about it and so we're talking about Madness as an initiation to transformation, really taking this quote from Sharon Blackie and if women Rose rooted about Madness being a Perfectly Natural response to the unendurable, which feels pretty intense and Real and True for us when it came to the earth-shaking change in rite of passage that was becoming mothers and how,
how it impacted us so we talked about the moments beloved practitioners finally helped to see that we were in okay.
The strength it took to acknowledge our pain when so many people dismissed it also the shame of acknowledging it the ways our Depression was separate from our love of our children and the power of letting your family witness how you take care of yourself I talk to Claire about the powerful moment on her 40th birthday of when she shaved her head and the way she celebrated making through her 30s which were characterized by gestation birth and Recovery
three times over this is a conversation I'd imagine you share with with your friends who. Who have gone through tough parenting moments as a way of showing solidarity but they're not alone and a way to educate all of us on, this very common experience that so many folks go through and isn't just relegated to the birth world that this is grief work in our in our time in our time living in these systems of Oppression in our time of collapse in our time of isolation in this age of loneliness
it just really matters to me that we talk about these things more in ways that are witnessing to each other, and not necessarily just trying to put Band-Aids over the wounds to really hear each other. Because that is where the healing is so. I will step aside and let you into the room where Claire full and I talked about Madness as initiation to transformation. Music.
So will you tell me what time it is where you are it's 918 in the morning and it's a late, Winter's day but it's sunny in the skies that the be blue skies and The Heirs re changing its getting, Dia and I wanna say okay how was your winter it was a really wintery winter I really wanted deeply this year and I was loved getting out in,
in the mornings I've always been a morning person but I think I keep coming back to that so a morning person and a and a beach person so great you said that you woke up to watch the sunrise and to swim in the ocean. Mmm and I remember 18 when I got in when I interviewed when I was interviewed by you several years ago on your former podcast you talked about it then too because I remember being like. Goals is that a part of your practice.
Totally it's the place and I found this word a few years ago a couple of years ago which is an old Irish word ishka which means like, the magical The Poetry that happens when you're on the brink and you're on the water's edge and it put words to. I think so much of what I love and walking the edge of the water and the edge of night and day and being there and. I keep coming back to it I forget and then I remember again and come back and like oh yeah here I am forgetting and remembering.
That is the journey it really is yeah okay hello everyone this is Claire full who I'm chatting with who I, deeply a door Claire fall is Australian she lives on getting Gary galka country, so what is that known to be Gary go country is on the Northern beaches of Sydney I see something okay, wonderful and thank you for orienting us to where you are so clear as a mom,
or a mum a writer a Creator a homemaker space holder a tapping EFT teacher and a Storyteller who holds circles and one-on-one sessions for folks and Claire and I have been chattin. For years now and we're going to be chatting about.
The postpartum experience of motherhood but before we dive into that we were just chatting about, how your winter was and before I hit record I was like it's so hot I have to have AC on I don't care if it makes a noise I'm so hot here and you're talking about emerging from winter with the blue skies and. I have been in this deep inquiry about how.
Breathe more wildness and space into email and you have the most beautiful, autoresponders on your emails and I just I realized they had changed because when we first started talking about this podcast episode it's been a few months your autoresponder was winter wanderings, and you talk about here in Gary go country it is the depths of Winter the days are short the nights are long and cold the ocean is still warm but the breeze is brisk.
I can feel a quiet steady Clarity to my work spaciousness is the lens I view the world through. And you write about what you're working on and your offerings and sort of what your focus is and then it changed to First blossoms. And you talk about that and it just feels like oh my gosh what a beautiful way to invite us in.
Two. The season and 2-hour season into the lands we live on and I think it's really cool so I first just want to say thank you for inspiring everyone who emails you and it's a spell it's a spell to slow down and notice. What's happening inside and out.
I think that's so cool thank you and thank you for noticing like it takes slowness to notice right and when we notice then we slow slow slow and we notice here, beautiful all right so the main event is I announced to the world that I was diagnosed. I'm making it sound dramatic because it fell dramatic with officially by a doctor with delayed postpartum depression.
Because what we call it up here and that was a couple months ago and I've just been narrating out loud like what it is to have an almost two-year-old and to be quote not okay yet. And like how the full experience The Full Experience of what that's like and then you Claire you head of me on the mother put path. You reached out and said hey I've got some stories that are similar. And I'd love to talk about them with you in an open format because.
You really believe and have seen how in your words change making and beautiful it is to be transformed. By the madness before we hit record you shared a Sharon Blackie quote is it from if women Rose rooted yeah, about Madness being a sign of transition and initiation of precursor to transformation a Perfectly Natural response to the unendurable so I'm inviting us both you really actually initiated this conversation,
so we're inviting each other into this conversation about our Madness and what it's alkalized in us so thank you for that invitation and I invite you to begin wherever feels true thank you Becca it's. I think for me in the in the depths of Darkness I remember making this promise that. When and if I got out of the darkness I talked about it and, I love that that I feel like in a season now of really sharing the story and I love when I've had bits of your story with that.
Waves and braids and overlaps with mine in the places they're different as well I don't know about for you but. My experience my oldest is almost 12 and so back then. Found that people were talking about either, like the amazing beauty beauty of motherhood or just how hard it was but, not this little place where I was Finding I used to say the magnificence and the messiness of motherhood okay so your eldest is 12 she's about to turn 12 yeah wow yeah hey so.
What did you experience other so many places they Story start out there I grew up being such a good girl, and thinking that being riding good with a the most important things in my life and that I could work and effort my way through and so when we decided that we'd like to have a baby and I didn't fall pregnant straight away or for a year or more I think that's where this story really begins and back then I was, had really long
hair that I straightened and I was so by the book and when I did fall pregnant and I loved being pregnant and was going to have this very natural birth and and then that all went pear-shaped really quickly and no one told me it was traumatic birth and and then life just felt really hard and. I didn't realize that this wasn't normal but it felt like the color had drained out of life and I really thought that this is just how motherhood feels.
And so I kept trying to do the things that I'd always done being good and everything about it it just kept being exhausting and I just felt like it was in this pit that I'd get a little way out of and then fall back down again and then for some reason decided to book him with a psychologist when she was around 10 months old when the second she told me I had postnatal depression which is what we call it here and I was like nighttime and,
lift and nibble it back and it wasn't till she was about a year and so I'm so interested backer that yours was you know it wasn't an immediate thing either that, I found another counselor friends that you should say this counselor and I saw her and she had the, wisdom to talk for weeks to me and listen before she said I, I think you're tired because you're working so hard for this to be okay and you're not okay.
And it was just like such a moment of Grace and I was so interested and I wonder if you back away. It sounded like you had a really similar moment to that of someone saying to you this is something's happening here, yeah well you shared a written story with me before we recorded about being given the questionnaire and Maria test yeah and my that my daughter's pediatrician would give it to me every time and. I too lied and it wasn't like I was overtly like.
I'm not going to tell them I'm not okay I was like I need to be okay and also I kept just hoping that I would be okay soon, so yeah I think that test is best of intentions but I don't actually know how much it's really getting to the root absolutely and I've heard.
Following that I have heard that it's actually a red flag of depression that you lie on the test so I feel like that needs to be this final qualifying, line of if you fly right on, just give me a give me a jazz fingers and you know exactly exactly. Huh yeah there's probably a whole we could pray dive into that. I'm sure there are like wonderful doctors and therapists and counselors looking into that but yeah so that was not my weigh-in was that test it was my acupuncturist.
Who just put a hand on my knee and said yeah very gently you're not yourself. And we need you we need you we need you the world your community that's what she said your community needs it wasn't just your baby was like we all need you. And where are you you're not yourself and that yeah that got me to drop the sword and say.
Oh okay okay yeah how did that moment feel for you, yeah hearing you say that a I found some a letter that I wrote in that first year and so I have three kids and each time I had, postnatal depression and but the first time was kind of the most unknown and. It was this letter I was like I just don't feel like myself and.
Coming back to that quote from Sharon Blackie where it's I think postnatal depression postpartum depression is is such a waving of so many things because that transition to mother is a huge one. And there's not a whole lot of rite of passage about it when I had my first she was in Special Care, and I was in my room and I was wheeled to put my finger into her humidicrib and then weld back to my room and left there by myself.
I look back on that I might what a devastating right of passage to Motherhood. Because you had an emergency cesarean yeah I did yeah, but no one said to me no one ever said to me that was traumatic that's not normal you know how are you doing how do you feel and so when for me it was an amazing counselor called Amanda when she finally said. You're not okay. It was the so much permission I felt so seen in that moment and just the relief I can still feel it in my body everything like.
To not have to work so hard to pretend and like you said it's not that you like I'm going to get up and pretend today. But that was the only way that I knew to coming in their room. Yeah I think I mean surprise surprise I'm going to map this back to being Village Lewis and. What do I mean by that I mean human beings were not built to orient to each other through screens only. And this I mean you and I live in you know like the.
Industrialized world and the real mode of success and in the most respectful dignified way to live. The most like the way you've achieved life is alone is with your partner and your children. Alone in a home that you know. Hopefully you have a mortgage on you know and I'm not going to make a commentary on that whole thing although I have a lot to say. Just about this one way in which it fails the humans who have the babies and I what I felt.
And I honestly would I continue to feel at times is this. With everyone's sort of in the distance and sharing their mostly Joy's on you know how do we know about how each other are doing social media, you know maybe a walk in the park maybe you know but I became a mother when we were afraid to leave our homes. And so I really it got the reality got distorted in an even deeper way like sleep deprivation and breastfeeding distorts reality.
And then I felt it further distorted by this this real belief that everyone else. I had it figured out or or everyone else was fine. Was was carrying on there was a sense of like they just added a baby to their lives and kept moving whereas I felt this very complex nuanced experience of like yes, this beloved child who I love so much and feel deeply bonded to is here and. I'm not okay and like.
We have these Beautiful Moments and I share them on social media and I'm not sharing the other ones and when I do share them I immediately feel extremely vulnerable. And I had a belief that I was like scaring people like I like somehow people wear like I would get these messages like. It's worth it for your beautiful daughter it's so beautiful to these moments are fleeting and I just felt so erased.
I felt my experience so erased and what did help were messages like yours and others who were like it's Madness. It's very complicated and it's and it's often deeply unnamable e painful. And hi yeah just deep sigh like right yeah and the two pieces in their back of the. I hear and I pick up like I've always said this was never about the kids. Like my love for them is so fiercely deep.
This was always about me this was this was my stuff and now they're getting big enough that we talked about it and you know I just want them to know like.
This was mine this was never about you but also that piece and I think this is why I found circle after after my three bouts my three dancers with post natal depression, I didn't want to tell people because I felt like I had to hold them and I had to hold their fear for me and their questions and they're worried and and so I didn't share and so that then just add it to the shame leading up and.
I'm not talking about it so I just kept it inside and just kept going we're doing it myself and like you said there's maybe if you're really lucky you have some other moms around you, they're also in the midst of their staff and even if it's not postnatal depression there, the tired and this year's when you don't get to finish a scene yeah cessation and so you can't go deep and talk about this stuff plus I felt like such a window,
all the time I just felt so - and like why couldn't I just be grateful way couldn't. I get myself out of these hole and just be enjoying this thing that was the single most thing that I wanted in my life since I was a little girl.
And that just made it more shameful you know like it just keeps eating you from inside out so I really hear you it's so Insidious yeah and and listening to you listening to me I have this real sense of how this experience of motherhood in the over culture has been like flattened, into Lake you know pick three like it's beautiful or it's bad and it's like cannot can we not.
Like any rite of passage like any growing, being you know like any bit of mycelium like any tree root like it's moving and all these directions and it's going up and down and parts of it are dying and parts of it are being reborn and, can we just widen our perspective to support each other in, yeah give ourselves Grace yeah and all of that yeah absolutely and I think it is I'm coming more and more to see that like.
The relationships of of people but in this like of women of that slightly older woman yes just like so. PSI missing. In there and the ones who can say both yes I hear you I remember that and also. It's going to be okay but not in a bypassing way that like I'm sitting here I'm listening with you mmm and I wonder for you back early. As you as you Traverse these this journey is your dancing it what are or are they. Beautiful beads to it are there other pieces of gold spawning there along with.
The really dark bits as well I was about to ask you the same question. Mmm well with.
I'm on the upswing so I can definitely mine the Gold I don't like that term mind gold huh, I can Spa yeah harvest the gold yeah as I get more and more as I just care for myself more and more and I, resource myself as the ground comes back under my feet as you say the color returns, yes oh yeah I love saying like I'm cellular early restructured like I am reborn I am this new being and I think I really like her, I think I really like her and I'm still I feel very new.
New and all of this like I keep wondering like in the whole rite of passage philosophy of like. Being through the liminal on the other side The Crossing through the threshold and being seen is changed I'm like at my fully stepped over the threshold. I've I'm starting to feel like I want people to look at me like look at me I am different now.
And like ask me how you know so and maybe six months ago I was like don't look at me I'm like I'm so in pain I'm struggling I'm insecure I'm paranoid I'm neurotic I'm anxious I'm exhausted and I had people look at me and hold me in such tenderness then so I think one of the, one of the brightest bits of gold that I can really feel is true about me is like less bullshit, like a real sense of being my friend Stephanie last week called me a fire harness sir,
like this real sense of like I have given birth to a human, I am extremely powerful and I. Strong and I have no patience for, any of the bullshit or the harm I definitely can see why so many mothers become activists and my partner and I have he's actually going through a similar experience of having a child. He's 40 having a child like these like later years as far as like human.
Becoming a parent as a human being is he's just like oh what is life really about so we're having these conversations I have been just dying to have where we are talking about the real deal. About purpose and meaning and Legacy that's pretty cool. Let's get JC stuff so I have the same question for you and I'm dying to know about. When and why you shaved your head oh yeah so I think that's a good kind of end point I think for me that. My ears of.
Early motherhood of postnatal depression and all that came with it it was. It like completely changed the trajectory of my life it was a complete cracking open in every way and. Taught me too.
Live through my heart instead of my head which it served me really well for 30 years and just all all the little pieces out of out of the darkness and when, last year I created a deck of cards called spacious and it was only as I finished them that I realized that it was a love letter from me at 42 me back at 30 in the midst of, these dark times of like here's here's the Stepping Stones here's how. We come through this and it was Tiny things that was you know like.
How to name emotions I didn't know until my 30s how to name how I was feeling and that following curiosity. Is a really, magical powerful thing and that noticing and even walking getting in the ocean and yeah as hearing you say I like this woman I've become, I feel like that I just turned 41 and so it was like that was that was big in the lead up to 40 I was really.
Wondering that I want to celebrate this or what was it about and when I looked back over the last 10 years and that was kind of all my child rearing time of child, bearing and having like God I'm going to celebrate that like I can't believe I made it through that decade, I just wanted to get a cake and right on top like yeah I hate it and so as I was approaching 40 one thing that I'd always really wanted to do was, to shave my head it was this wild curiosity William that that just whispered,
and I was like oh I couldn't and I now know that when I hear that voice that is like it'll go there it's very like premium II couldn't possibly and. It took so much depths of building my capacity to get to the point of doing it I was so worried whatever I know else would say and that was like.
In the lead up to doing it I had nights where I didn't sleep just worrying worrying worrying about it and and then on the eve of my 40th literally the day before, got it done and when she turned me round to kind of when it was finished as I say hello for, and I knew I wanted to do it but I didn't expect to like it and I loved it.
And then the next day literally on my 40th birthday we went into lockdown for months and months and that I never got to celebrate my 40th birthday I was so glad, that I had shaved my head and and it was a perfect lock down here as well but the thing that I loved as well as the kind of. The end of that story is that as we came to the end of lockdown I realize we realized as a family. We weren't ready for the kids to go back to school and so we pulled them out and decided to home-school.
And I realized that all of the. Worried that I'd gone into shaving my head had actually prepared me for this decision which. And suddenly it didn't feel like a big decision I didn't worry about what other people would say but how it whines into this story is that for, what would have been 10 16 weeks the kids were home and I felt like we got to reweave, Early Childhood I just got to enjoy them and it really felt like a do-over of the time that I've missed.
Because of postnatal depression it really really. Brought back some really scattered pieces of my heart in that time. And it was so tender when they wanted to go back to school but a friend lovingly pointed out that they'd walked with me and come to serve Mom you can you can keep doing this it was beautiful and it led to so much more.
And what I love as well is when I did it the number of people who said I want to shave my head and I know a couple of those people have gone on to do it but it's those unsaid things like it's such a bizarre. Weird and I say that in the in I love being weird but like what is this craving that we have and that many of us have to shave our head and it just kind of speaks to me of the unspoken things. That are there connecting us. Mmm Yeah Yeah to me it just it feels like a ritual because our hair.
Hold so much memory it's like the cells of all those experiences held in the hair. And a real claiming of completeness with you know and love and grief and. Appreciation for those experiences and then the Letting Go a real rebirth moment how beautiful. How liberating it really was yeah. And I've still got I'm looking at it now there's in a bag because I wanted to put it somewhere yeah really and just haven't got around to have any idea and isn't that.
There's a beach where my mom needs to go and she was little and we I really feel my grandparents there and and so that was kind of my my place but also that we moved in just before lockdown to a new home we live in the. This 70 have townhouses here where we live in, so I really wanted to belong myself to this land and and so that was another piece of it so yeah you know just.
I remember listening to people talk and all of life sounded so beautiful and so I really bring that in with references well of like oh yeah and I haven't yeah, you know like it's not a beautiful it's messy and I forget to do things and like I'll get there sometime yeah. I cut 8 inches off my hair about a year into postpartum. And I remember I told my hairstylist to like put it in a bag and she thought I was so weird.
And I almost didn't do it for the sake of not having that awkward interaction and I'm so glad I didn't listen to that part of myself and this is what I was getting like the awkward hair regrowth the like awkward bangs app of your. Hairline and so I had a lot of feelings about vanity and hair it feels like that's a that's like a thing in motherhood is hair and then I ended up burying it.
In the garden and a friend in my Women's Circle said you're introducing it to the land Spirits the mycelium and belonging yourself to the land I also gave birth on this land I gave birth at home and it looks like we're going to be leaving this home soon and I'm just so happy that my hair is here you know too. To seed that time you know I love that okay so. How did you choose to have two more children, like you knew it was gonna happen again you didn't I didn't know that it would.
That the postnatal would come back I we were laughing about this the other day we I always wanted three kids but after the first, Nina I was like I cannot imagine ever having any more kids you know I, I kind of imagine that I could do this again and Simon my husband says we we had conversations about. Having another baby but I don't remember that which you know says more about my kind of presence and about. Not even 6 months after I'd gone on.
Antidepressants because I did go on antidepressants Simon said do you think you should take a pregnancy test and I was like what.
And lo and behold I Was Pregnant and So that's, how second bubble came to b or d and we'd already just agreed to go over to London for six months for a work project and so that was kind of wild and and I wanted everything to be completely different, to the first time because I was like I can micromanage my way, through this I kind of tried to Natural my way through the first one that didn't work so I'm going to micromanage my way through the second.
Three months into it so I'm in there my doctor by said in the back, and it wasn't scary that time to get cool I know what to do and and share with you to teach me how to fun and so it was a much more it was a really different. About that second time and then we weren't sure if we would have a third or not and we did we decided to and then. The depression came while I was pregnant which was really tough and so I went on to antidepressants and.
When I went back from the six-week checkup after the third my obstetrician said. There's not many people who go for a third after they've had postnatal depression twice. Like I didn't even think of it I didn't know I had that it would happen but. It wasn't enough to make me not want to have the kids so. Because it's because the kids are separate yeah there it is so it's a different it's in a different category right but they are intertwined right with one comes the other yeah.
I mean that is just that sounds like. Deep devotion and surrender and sacrifice yeah right which is motherhood right yeah wow yeah I am I'm not sure if I could do it again. We'll see no one's knocking Atlas was knocking for years yeah no one's knocking right now so. They just have decided we're going day-by-day and focusing so deeply on care. Of self because that's what I want at least to see her parents do care for themselves you know tidally totally.
As you say that I'm just remembering that was a birthday card Nina wrote To Me. Sorry I must've been a Mother's Day card that isn't here but she said something to iron it about Mommy you're so good at taking care of yourself and us. And I was just whoa I just got seen and who pretty hard well yeah. It makes a difference you know like it's truly the most important role in the world I really feel. With literally making the future and.
So that's kind of understandable that that'll shake things up a little right yeah and it takes something it takes something to both of you jur yeah, mmm so how do you care for yourself.
As a mother of three as a mom of three I Garden I. I hated for so many years let's go yeah like you know people be like do something nice for yourself and and, especially at the beginning I'd be like I don't know what I like to do that was this huge pain of mine where I was like I don't even know, like motherhood just ripped me apart so much that I read someone would babysit the kids and I would go to the mall and walk around and not even know what shop to go we in and that kind of just sums up,
how liminal I was but I didn't have words for it back then but to take care of myself now. This morning I got up and I went for a walk and a swim and I pulled a card and I, try and go as slowly as possible and I write and I follow the things that I'm curious about at the moment it's gardening and really.
I've come to know that my my way of being is very everyday it's it's not kind of going off and doing things it's finding, that the nourishment the magical moments, so I often feel like walking the kids to school is that is the meaning of life so it's yeah, that's what an M having space help for me many many times through the month do you have a circle, I have a surprise I sit in circle and I hope circles and I have a beautiful tapping teacher tapping.
Mentor who holds me she we have a session yesterday for 90 minutes and beautiful friend lots of deer from people I have found that being held.
And being able to just be listened to be seen be asked good questions hmm yeah hear what my body's telling you yeah, how inspiring how about for you I have a circle that holds me we meet once a month I want more I need more, of that so I'm seeking that out I've started hosting Gathering seasonal Gatherings at my house but I'm, and I'm working on not being in Hostess mode so that I can receive not just you know the accolades of hosting a great Gathering but being in it,
and receiving from it that's an edge I'm walking right now personal trainer, which was a big like oh I can't do that but I did and I lift heavy weights and it very feels very good to my body, and a real release and I now try to almost all way I try to work with mothers like.
I want you to be a woman and I want you to have a child in order for me to feel like held by you right now so my therapist, my personal trainer our couples therapist like I just need them to be a parent so there is that understanding that like nod that isn't just an empty not but a not of like I, here you I have been there and then right now.
I'm also working on resourcing myself in the morning before my child wakes up that's why I'm very inspired by your morning swims I haven't felt desperate for sleep in like the first 18 months of her life and we've crossed over until I like I think I could probably get up early and drink tea and meditate and put cards and journal so that's I'm entering into that time now of like morning me time I'm really focusing on moving away from a reactionary life.
Of just response response response response response response response and my mornings we're starting with like nursing breakfast. Getting you know putting clothes on and it just really hasn't been working for me and it feels like a an opportunity ripe for shifting so that starts the whole day, yeah, yeah I he's so much on that it takes me back to those those little early years and I still have days like that where if I get woken up.
I wanted the kids just needing something like the there was years there where the soundtrack was what about me. What about me where do I fit where do I get my time and so I find now even if it's. Two minutes of I literally have my cards next to my bed so that I can roll over and pull that before anything else so it's like okay spacious I get spacious before something else. And it even if it's two or five minutes. It's that that I have had space before anyone else gets some of me.
And I know that's not always possible I've as I'm saying that I remember this, Play Store the scene of me sitting with leather while member lab watching Peppa Pig and me triangular Tate, but just sometimes that's what it looks like right it's I will use whatever I can to get that for me knowing that the trajectory of the day. Is completely different when that happens yeah I used to try to meditate while I nursed.
And now I know my I stare into her eyes excited because we're yeah which is beautiful in, she's a quiet Nursery in the morning and we're weaning so I'm like oh this is really precious makes me very emotional to think about ending that and so I used to like check out and now. We are gays it's really awesome and we're quiet together. I love that and it's the mom of an almost 12 year old, that just like Peter spins into the future that like we can be here together in this space quietly what up.
What a place to what a what a texture until we even to your relationship the two of you oh goodness this was very sweet. And comforting yeah and and my my real prayer here is I know there are. Mothers and parents listening right now who are struggling I know because they write me and I know there are folks listening who are planning for, for Parenthood and I know there are folks listening who it's been a while since they were young parents and it was hard.
So maybe this is provide solidarity yeah that's what as you are saying that I just like imagine people holding hands it's like I promise you know your own. You know like and not not to sugarcoat anything like there they're in, in the mess of it all and magnificent sort of it all yeah maybe come back together and sharing our stories that that's the medicine for sure Claire full. Thank you I adore you I appreciate you appreciate how you've been a constant companion across the seas and and.
You have people want to know more about you should they go to your website Claire clarefun22 Al eclair fold.com, that's the one or Instagram I'm on there either, more regularly so yeah and this deck you keep talking about the spacious card deck I have one it's beautiful and I'm and it will link to that in the show notes thanks thank you and thank you for all, wondering wonderfulness,
thank you so much for joining me in a time when our attention is being pulled in so many different directions it means a lot that you took time out of your day to spend it with me and in these important conversations, for show notes and links and more information about my guests you can head to belonging podcast.com, and if you'd like to hear more from me and get access to my free newsletter called slow and seasonal you can head to Becca piastrelli.com / subscribe.