S01E167: Crow Energy

You know this caller called me right before the show and warned me He's like just so you know Uh, I got Rayman vision and I was like Poppy I'm better than I could have anticipated Huh, it's like you don't you don't have to play it if you don't want it. I was like oh, I want to play it Oh, I want to play it. We're never not gonna play it. Yeah You can still call us by the way 6122637999 one more time that's 612263799

If you have a question for private browsing we're we're going to get into hermaterials. She's got a royalty self-made royalty as well But first do you think we'll take a little intermission? Yeah, maybe a little breather. This is a two act show And uh, and uh, yeah, so we'll be right back. I think After this quick intermission

Anything anything to say Nothing Nothing nothing Ah, I'm talking a whole bunch later All right, so this is corner.substake.com. Check out all the good stuff The ride oh Hey I Hote Hey When you don't know how to feel I feel the pain, I feel the heat I feel the pain, I feel the pain Come on rockin' rollin' more time All is it's rock, it's like it's a rock All is it's foam, all is it's foam All is it's rock, it's like it's a rock All is it's foam, all is it's foam I'm begging you, go!

Rockin' rollin' more time Rockin' rollin' more time Rockin' rollin' more time Rockin' rollin' more time Rockin' rollin' more time Rockin' rollin' more time Rockin' rollin' more time Rockin' rollin' more time Rockin' rollin' more time She's lost in the city again Down and down, no friends She's lost in the city again Rockin' rollin' more time She's lost in the city again She's lost in the city again Rockin' rollin' more time She's lost in the city again She's lost in the city again

Rockin' rollin' more time Rockin' rollin' more time Rockin' rollin' more time She's lost in the city again She's lost in the city again She's lost in the city again Rockin' rollin' more time Rockin' rollin' more time Rockin' rollin' more time Rockin' rollin' more time Rockin' rollin' more time Rockin' rollin' more time Rockin' rollin' more time Rockin' rollin' more time My name was to find magic in person My digit number Hey, this is me now Following orders For a safe world For the common goods

Hedge to the people Hedge to the party Hedge to the rulers For the rest of my life Rockin' rollin' more time Rockin' rollin' more time Rockin' rollin' more time Rockin' rollin' more time Rockin' rollin' more time Her time is running out Her time is running out Her time is gone She's looking down Her filter She's taking her higher Higher than me She doesn't lose She doesn't give me things again She doesn't want to walk away Rockin' rollin' more time We now return to behind us Sorry

And lovin' lovin' lovin' And tonight, private browsing That's a me That's you You're in house You're inside of my house Yeah How did you get in my house?

Ah well, I fucking walked right in Shit You never lock your goddamn door You never lock my goddamn door Yes I do Somebody around here doesn't lock my goddamn door It's class It's not me It's class, the alarms are too little We've got this little weiner dog here This guy can't reach shit Can't reach, except for the cat food Unless there's food on it Then all of a sudden this guy's fuckin' Superman Hopping around, hardcore parkour Yeah This guy can...

This guy's like fuckin' Tony Hawk all of a sudden He's dumb as shit and every other regard of his life And he's so much help Well, you know, Bully Steed met Klaus And she told me from her She was like, that's a smart dog No, he's not That's nice of you to say Incorrect I don't know You know, I learned a long time ago And I believe would anyone, anything anyone says I don't believe a goddamn word, you just said this last hour Good Good, I'm glad, I'm fuckin' glad It's fake

You are listening to episode 167 of Behind the Scenes It is currently August 28th, 2023 It's 8.55 pm over here on the Bereft Coast Which means it's 11.55 over in the central Which means that it's about... wait, is that right?

No, no, it's not right It's 10.55 Central And it's 11.55 Over on the East Coast Which means it's 5 minutes to being midnight in your sewer And so to everybody over there on the East Coast Happy midnight in the sewer And welcome back This is the second second half of show As we said before, this is a value for value production We'd like to take this time to thank the producers That come in and help us Because we don't have ads, we don't have corporate sponsorship And so we just kind of...

Hope that people enjoy what we're doing And if people find value in what we do Well then we hope they return that value And if you give us a phone call or... 612-2637-9999 Or you know, you can... So much to send us an email with ideas Or news articles A sick meme A sick meme Or a conversation Anything could count potentially A solid high five A solid high five just might do it A matter of fact, give me a solid high five right now

That's it. I hope everybody heard that This is now an ASMR channel Now with this gate I was very, very...

Particularly about the gate Because as you may know, I host this show If you listen to this show often I host this show with the man named Booberry A mouth man with the Nacolips Old Boobzy, Major Boobich And he is, as you can tell, not here this evening A Booberry had to go and be part of the Gwar scene He's Gwaring it up He's Gwaring it up real hard right now I picture he's probably at the show With no shirt on covered in blood And come And a goat mask And a goat mask

And I hope that he's doing that I'm gonna give a Booberry goat right now

He got him Now we haven't got any goat booth yet this evening But if you'd like to slaughter a goat yourself You have to do is send in 6666 Satoshi's To us with a podcasting 2.0 compliant app If you don't know what podcasting 2.0 is Honestly, I don't blame you Even though it's awesome It's too hard It can be complicated for some people It's getting simpler every day And if you go to podcastapps.com You will find plenty of options that you can go with Fountain is my personal favorite right now

Got CurioCaster, you got a couple things And what you can do is you can listen to podcasts at the next level You can listen to them with chapter art going by This episode and all of our episodes are dived up into chapters And we do fresh art every single week for those chapters and for the show And you can see that art and those chapters Flit on by on your device as you listen to the podcast There's transcripts and there's boosted grams Which means you can send us micro payments of bitcoin

In order to truly control or have at least a little bit more control over the money That you're spending and to circumnavigate the paypal monopoly And we enjoy doing it and as a little incentive You know as a little reward for going through all that trouble We have a whole Ranch, full of goats Ranch I showed private browsing, she's seen the goats They're very happy They're very happy They love what they do, they love their life They're short happy life They're eating shit outside Yep

They're eating garbage, they love to eat anything They clear out the canal, you know you go through in the summertime And they get a full of the shrub And they do all that And the goats are very happy And if you send in 6666 Satoshi's we kill one Yeah And they line up for it They love it They love it Like Lemmings Yeah They're hungry for it I don't know how Now for those who do come in with paypal donations We of course like to take time out to thank those people

And we had a couple people come in With monthly donations this week We had spas come in The wonderful spas or poppup areas He's called with $9.99 We have Junta with $3.33 And we've kept it oblivious with $5.55 Those are all, if you'll notice, recurring triple digits Trip Dig Thank you gentlemen Very, very kind of you I'd also like to thank again, BooBerry About the recurring payments We really appreciate that because it helps us keep the lights on We like to engage in projects

Things like, oh maybe you've seen that we've got a new spook.social up We've got it through Miss Key And you can go to mk.spoke.social And you can find our brand new spook.social back up Which is our social media platform It's fresh out of the oven And we wouldn't be able to do that And we wouldn't be able to do some of the art that we do We wouldn't be able to do stuff Without the contributions of Right and two It happens So yeah, you can check out mk.spoke.social.social

Check it out. Oh, in the green room Turbo, Faggot coming through What up? What's up? Turbo I'd like to thank BooBerry again He made the show art as he does He makes the show art And I gave him the gif And I told him what I wanted But he's the one that actually went and did it And he does so much more And he gave me some guidance on stuff

Help me out. We're on the phone last night For a few hours working out the kinks And I always appreciate You need to go BooBerry and I need to work out the kinks That's fine I don't love it And we also have NAM I want to thank NAM Who is host the Fantastic Show Millennial Media Offensive Which is live every single Tuesday At around four o'clock Western time Western time Western time The NAM came in and he's doing a back-up recording for us So thank you very much NAM I don't trust myself

I think it's going You could go bear-shaped in any second And I'm very, very glad that it's been good So Not gonna what I'll say no more of it And Sir Seatsider I'd like to give shout out He called me right before the show He left us that voicemail and he says that he loves you all So I had to let everybody know that Sir Seatsider loves all of you So if you have any complaints, hit him up Sir Seatsider he's gonna be on Or hosting three shows in the next week or two It'll be straight have gone

Yeah He's jamming So that's what we're doing He's jamming So that's abs in the six pack if you want to check him out Millennial media offensive for NAM And a boob area host show with me When we don't have private browsing around You know I miss boobs, I miss his energy I miss his laugh I miss his weird references Yeah trust me You're preaching to the choir on this one It's a funny guy boobs Yeah, that's my boobs We're on this boobs I know you have a fucking rad time I love live music

Yeah, yeah, I see that he posted Something in the chat I think From the discord Oh he is covered I told you he's covered in blood What did I say?

You fucking called it Holy shit He's completely covered in blood He's having a euphoric experience I can tell Everybody in the chat is telling him to drink water Drink water boobsy It's good for you Nice, nice On top of that other producers I'd like to thank in the intermission We had some value for value artists We had tempest as long as it's rock We had to have fun Which was... we had a couple tracks Off of the new Fletcher and Blaney album And have fun was one of them

That was by Make Here Wisdom And Lady of the Night Which was Fletcher collaborating with DeLorean That was a good one And you can check that out The album is called Everything is Lit And we have links to that And the podcast index At the show notes ZoSosCorner.substech.com A huge collaboration From a lot of your favorite podcasters On that one And some really tasty music So shout out to Fletcher and Blaney for DELICIOUS And then we had some other value for value guys Like Christian Loonberg

We had Mayday Mayday with Hire featuring Sir Brian with an i Well I imagine as an actual Producer, no gender producer Brian with an i's correct Brian's with a wire suspect That's correct You're right As for the boosted grams There were three boosted grams That came in since last week And I had them up And then now I don't And I don't know where they are So I'm really sorry To those three boosters I believe it was Boole Steed With 8888 I believe it was Servo With 6666 And I believe it was

Maybe cotton gin or somebody else I am so sorry We will do a make good next week And I promise that That you will be one way or another Thank you very much You know if you guys want to Oh here we go Is Servo just going to show me where I can See those cover in your ass Now I just say me to the Saturn Yeah I'm sorry I can't set that up on the fly I promise I'll do a make good next week But if you do send in a boosted grams For this episode I will Cover it I've got all the boosted grams saved

I will play it manually So don't be afraid I know that that private browsing Would like a nice naughty boost Oh I know she would A naughty boost you say A naughty naughty boost I know your style Disgusting Well Aside from that Would you like to maybe delve into what you've brought this evening? I will

So I've Wanted to research this character for a really long time since I heard about him on a different podcast And I believe as a Long time listener first time participant In the chat I think I've talked about Being ex-mormon before Especially when Booberry did a really good job covering topics relating to marminism before Shout out to Boops I was enthralled with it because it's niche to a lot of people But not to me it was the first 26 years of my life

So I'm going to be talking about a tangential Character to mainstream marminism same time time period is ever-norton but the other coast In fact he's going to be in part of that great lakes And his name is James Jesse Strang or king strang Of beaver island in Michigan Another guy who is a self-made king And the way he got there is Unusual And I want to talk about him because I feel like we live in a time with a lot of social media people Talk about social media all the time

But there's people like lying all the time And just trying to make money and get influence And the idea that influencers feel like they're real people with real jobs is absurd And I've met some of them in the wild especially walking around San Francisco And I'm just like well I bet this isn't a new human idea And turns out it's not There's a lot of people that think they can invent influence and importance out of nothing And change people's lives for the better but most of the time it's worse

And I'm kind of like in the middle about whether James Strang was that guy But spirituality is usually a big way that people can Convince others to follow them because you can't really like prove or disprove it As long as it makes people feel nice They tend to give you money or like the women Or other things of value usually women and money Um, James Strang was no different and turns out He's an antiballum era confidence man At a time that the term was coined

So I didn't know that con man actually came from confidence man A confidence man someone that you put your confidence in Yeah, if you've got confidence you can do anything Hmm, that's I think a better way to put it is you can't accomplish great things without confidence Well I have By pure luck By pure luck you've accomplished things Sure, I wouldn't say that I'm like the most confident individual Well, I'm doing alright I know what they say about courage you know

It's not about not feeling fear it's about not letting the fear stop you from doing what you got to do Do it anyway Yeah, yeah As Ben Folls says Truly, um, marketing is a big part of it like self-marketing Before we even had social media it was still a thing You could market yourself and be like well I saw this thing And it really happened and now you're gonna believe me Because you can't disprove it And people at this time of 1840s America

I didn't really notice until diving into this topic that there was a lot of like religious of people There was a lot of people looking for a sort of spiritual guidance Because we're a new country We haven't been around all that long and independent So they're trying to find like some sort of national identity And of course religion was the way to do that at the time Um, so this guy Miles Harvey wrote a book called the King of Confidence about Joseph Strang

So if you could pull up that first clip from his C-SPAN interview Okay, let me find this clip here Uh, the C-SPAN interview Okay, here we go I couldn't do my own clips today because I'm not as cool as boobs So lavish is helping me out And what was the first time that?

738 Yeah, yeah, yeah And by the way, I found out that there is a way to relay the boosts through the spot So I will do that, I will make that good before the end of the episode And thank you to Servo and everybody in the chat for helping me figure that out They're so nice Really?

738 Con man, slash idealist But I do think it has a lot of echoes with today You describe him as a con man And you know it in the book that the name con man was minted around that time The Confidence Man Yeah, this is, we know exactly when the word Confidence Man comes It's 1849 in New York, in a New York newspaper And this word spreads like wildfire Through the United States It's really stunning if you go to old newspaper databases as I often do And to follow the spread of this phrase

Confidence Man, then Confidence Artist There was a play in New York called the Confidence Man Within months of this word being coined And the reason was that this was a time when there were so many of these people running around This is a time of PT Barnum, who we think about is like a circus guy But he was a great hoaxer He had a place called the American Museum in New York Where he would put a mermaid on display And you know tens of thousands of people would come through to see the mermaid

And a lot of them would say that's not a mermaid That's a fish sewed to a monkey And Barnum was kind of brilliant Because the truth was so fluid then Barnum would say oh You think that's a fish sewed to a monkey Why don't you bring your grandmother back tomorrow And ask her what she thinks So he took advantage of that But the truth is fluid The truth is fluid I like that I like that I find it all kinds of places You know, crevices and such

It's like the Bruce Lee quote, you know, be like water my friend Lie like water If the lie goes into the cup it becomes the cup I'm going to presume that that quote's accurate Thank you I don't know what it means Well, that's fine, it's for another day I'm not smart enough for that right now For later Maybe I'll be like oh in an hour that makes sense Be like water, it's about martial arts It's about training and something so much that it's about muscle memory Oh, can't relate, not navely

Sounds great though, for people who are Must be fucking nice Must be fucking nice Miles Harvey, he talks a lot, he did a lot of research into James Strang's life And I used pretty much a lot of his sources Because he did the work for me Thanks Mr. Harvey So as I was saying early 1800s America There's a lot of people who are looking For direction of some kind Presidencies weren't really as revered then As they are now because they were still kind of figuring out how to have one Blades

Supposedly, presumably I read it in the newspaper and the newspaper doesn't lie Oh fuck, you're right Sorry buddy I didn't read that newspaper I can't read it all actually You never taught me letters I teach other people letters Well, I don't know them at all That's a confidence man What do you think teaching is Lying to children And they agree with you I knew that actually They lie to me all the time They're like yeah, I totally did that assignment I'm like mmm No

But Joseph Smith, I'm gonna talk about it briefly Briefly we have to know about him Maybe you know about him already The South Park episode is correct The very episode I was not allowed to watch as a child And then I definitely did anyway Oh, they've done more than the South Park episode Now they made a whole fucking Broadway show And to it, it's not as funny as people told me it was gonna be But I listened to it like 12 years after You know what's funny is that's basically the same for me too

I listened to it years after it came out And I have to say where the time I saw it I wasn't that first I don't think it holds up But the South Park episode does Yeah, South Park is great It's a hysterical, it's better We didn't need an hour and a half, we just needed 20 minutes I think that was the key I think we didn't need a whole Broadway song and dance show about like making gay jokes And Mormon's expense Or like the Hela racist jokes about people in Africa Yeah, yeah

I don't know, I wasn't here for it Not my jam But because of that, it brainwashed me so now whenever I say the word Joseph Smith I say Joseph Smith Because that's how they said in the show And then also it's ha-ta-le-ka-c-t That's exactly how you say it That's how they said it in whatever African country they were in in Broadway On Broadway Yeah, I, you know, can't really I've been to South-de-le-ka-c-t And it's exactly the way they describe it and worse It's so dry for one

It's all like cities, an interesting place It has a lot of interesting religious buildings and things like that But what I found out when I went there recently last September was that it's much more of a party town now than it used to be Oh yeah, straight up. They have actual breweries now Yeah Like I was there on like it was on a Monday It was the, I had to miss the show because I was coming in so late I was driving From Reno to Salt Lake City that day

And I got there and it was Monday and people were getting down The bars were open I was like, I was like, what is this? What is this? Is this Salt Lake City? Everyone's been warning me about? I've never drank in Utah, which makes me sad I've only drank in Utah Only in Utah Yeah Not anywhere else No, I just mean anytime I'm in Utah I'm drinking Oh, what's it? Anytime I hear You're doing it right

Yeah, Sir Seatsor, I saw the Book of Mormon live. It came through And I saw it in the city I bought tickets Like the week we heard about COVID And then, we're like, oh, it's in May. We'll be able to go see it Spoiler alert, I didn't Yeah, said And honestly, I don't think I missed out. It's fine Yeah I only went because my grandparents bought me tickets My grandparents took me Worth it? Whoa, it was worth hanging out with my grandparents Yeah, that'd be cool I mean, that was a nice day

You know, Broadway's hidden miss for me. I think rent is like important, but also really obnoxious Broadway is obnoxious As a tenant of its existence Yeah And I want to know about Mormons is the most obnoxious thing I can think of I don't like Broadway musicals about Rooted in reality like in real life Like if it's like a cartoon to begin with, like, you know The Charlie Brown musical Or the fuck is that? Is there a Shrek musical?

The Shrek, well, because there's a Shrek everything Why is there a Shrek musical? Because Shrek is life I'm out of the loop Shrek is life Is there a South Park? I've said about Broadway. We're watching this tomorrow. Yeah, oh god. One of the best South Park episodes is about Broadway Yeah, and it has like, you know, Steven Sunheim and Elton John and Sometimes number one.

Sunheim is number one. And Sunheim bros down real hard. He beats the shit out of someone. He's like, Marely we rule long bro Who's the one that did Phantom? Whoever? Fuck that guy That guy's the epitome of a annoying Broadway Phantom fucking sucks

That guy wrote some of the most annoying fucking musicals ever conceived. He wrote cats Fuck that He wrote that one that you just said Phantom of the opera's ass And I think he also wrote That other shitty one He didn't fucking Into the Wizards Sunheim In the Wizards Sun, yeah I don't like what Evita is a Evita, he wrote Evita That's right. I'll tolerate it

And well, I've seen Evita live. It's actually fun to watch live There's no Madonna Thank god Wow And that's why we're not friends anymore Yeah well Just special friends Special friends Okay, Joseph Smith Jr He was born in Vermont. No one cares about that But he is from the northeast And Did you know that his father, Joseph Smith Sr. was a treasure hunter He was a treasure hunter Casually on the side Are you saying that Joseph Smith is actually Joseph Smith Jr.?

He's a junior of like five kids Junior That's what people did back then. They just had kids We named him after the dog Lazarus Bummer Bummer Smith Imagine So, yeah, Sr. has a very important question in the chat He was an actual metal detector Literally Yeah, before electricity was widespread In the early 19th century He invented a battery just so he could have a father metal detector

They didn't even need a battery. They were using rocks in a hat Yeah, back then everything ran on steam It was a steam powered metal detector A steam powered hat A steam powered hat But they called it like sear stones and literally they're just like rolling around in the north Like the New England forests and shit and they're like we're gonna find treasure There's like treasure buried everywhere I guess I guess I don't know a whole lot of pirates that like went aground in Vermont

Seeing as it doesn't have a coastline Well, did they have any like Aztec gold or? Not, dude It's north I don't know We did off of Canada Canadian gold Yeah, haven't you heard of it?

Canadian gold is like I'm not gonna get into Canadian It's like it's not It's not the same Canadian gold is gravy Well, so we got this idea as you may see later about using a hat And rocks in it to like Determine information and tell other people about it He grew up in a really religious part of New York state called the burned over district And it was called that because of the evangelical fervor Of its residents so they're just like burning shit down with Jesus over there

They're hot and heavy over there They love it In New York How many of you know 14 year olds in your life Eighth graders Or remember being one I can't see that on the air Yeah, it's uh They're pretty rotten That's the age group that I teach Eighth graders Don't know anything But however Joseph Smith apparently he was a super special 14 year old And he went into the forest and was like God there's so many religions I don't know which one to join I just want to have some spiritual direction

Because you know most 14 year olds are concerned about that Well, well, well, well, well Before you go in I have to say that a 14 year old and 1805 Is very different than a 14 year old now Bro it already quit school It didn't get past like fourth grade Yeah, at 14 years old you're having like a midlife crisis Yeah You're gonna die at like 32 Yeah I'm old and ancient Compared to this time period I'm a sage You would be the mayor by now I would I know I am So it's praying to God right

Mormons refer to this moment as the first vision Because apparently purportedly God and his son Jesus appeared to a 14 year old boy named Joseph Smith And a grove of trees None of these religions they're all boot nasty bitches And you just have to create a new one Mmm And that's like the pivotal moment that like Joseph Smith is supposedly a true prophet of God or whatever This is his Muhammadian moment Yeah, this is the shit I heard three times a week for like 26 years in my life It's so dumb

And then later the Golden Plate stood in show up to later But there's this angel named Moroni He had a flaming sword and he was like threatening Joseph He's like you better start that religion Told you to start you haven't done anything yet You're just still searching for treasure everywhere And you need to start the new religion So he finds these medical This is the classic guy That's what happened to Abraham That's what happened to Muhammad That's what happened to Jesus

And angel comes and tells you hey bro Get your shit together It's the same old shit over and over again I feel like there's a lot of plagiarism coming out of Smith but you know There are only so many stories right In Western canon yeah we recycle the same shit every other day His wife Emma transcribed these plates Which may or may not have existed but for the sake of argument we'll say they did Joseph was looking in a hat With seer stones in it he claims

And trans lates these plates while his wife Emma writes it down And that's how we got the book of Mormon as we know it today Was this in Missouri? No this is pre-Misery this is in New York still Is this still in New York?

They're still in New York and they find the plates They're traversing across like Ohio and Missouri and Illinois There's a whole bunch of states Oh well don't say that they found the plates in Ohio Judas in the shed Well they don't exist they're gone They're gone we don't know where they are They can't produce the evidence turns out we've asked the LDS ink a million times and they're like psh IDK It's too sacred they were twinkled up into heaven I guess That's the explanation I've heard

Many such cases Of course as things do God called it home I don't know As one may know any casual Noir of Mormons can think like Oh don't you guys have like a million wives Well they used to So I think it's one of the most problematic tenants of early Mormonism I heard it a lot when I was in high school Everyone's like uh you're in a cult did you know and at the time I was like no I'm not in a cult this is very normal Ha ha ha it was part of the time period wrong

No it wasn't plural marriage was extremely problematic people thought Mormons were fucking weird And they kept kicking them out of various places like they had to leave New York To go to curl and Ohio Because they kept getting attacked by the locals saying your version of Christianity is fucked up And we don't like it you have to go To like the point of violence And uh it also wasn't normal to marry children at the time but Joseph did that too

Apparently men of God get to marry children all the time that's like a thing That's one of the perks It's truly I suppose it's not a perk of being a young girl it sucks So he got married 25 times Oh young girls are sometimes attracted to power and what's more powerful than a demigod A demigod A little profit of God yeah I suppose so except her name was Fanny Alger and she was 14 and she said no But he married her anyway She said no to his proposal

And her father said no he's like no this is weird Joseph It's like actually it isn't so actually this is fucked up And then he's like actually God said so He's like actually it's okay I was 14 once For real he's like I remember like it was yesterday but it wasn't it was like 20 years ago Uh this church is still pretty young at this point so people were like eager to find somebody like the Jolostine of the day Joseph Smith I know same diff though for real Same same

The people were so pissed at Mormons in Ohio this time that he was literally tired and feathered Joseph Smith was tired and feathered in the street Nice which is fucked up but also like he didn't die so it's fine Well Ohio Mormons what can you do?

You know I don't know He was pissed Uh he was put in jail a few years later after they left Ohio They had to go to Illinois they had to go to Navu Illinois And this newspaper was posting shit about Joseph Smith They're like don't trust this guy He's a huckster he's lining you and he marries kids Don't join his cult and he's like we should riot because they're trying to inhibit the kingdom of God or whatever And uh he went in jail for inciting a riot Uh because of a newspaper posting stuff

Because if it's in a newspaper it's true Uh yes we've established that Yeah no one was ever convicted of the crime of shooting Joseph Smith in his jail cell He's just got shot and he killed him He's dead Smith died in jail In jail Damn this gangster In Navu For inciting a riot it does sound pretty gangster but actually he was a pito Well that's uh that's just being a politician now Yeah I mean we're really gonna break down you know like He was ahead of the curve I guess

Have you seen the White House?

Yeah There was a hella scantions and fences between me and him but I saw it That's true I mean they were like that now they're like that then I mean God George HW I got love kids Jesus Christ Fucking Too much Anyway uh this is continued Google it so we had to talk about Joseph Smith because right after he died This is where James Strang comes in James Strang the hero of our story Is you know I'm like debating on whether people think he's a hero or not And I'm sort of split also

Apparently he was baptized in a river by Joseph Smith himself before he died And he was ordained in elder which means a high-ranking church leader Kind of like a bishop for many other religions I understand He's broken the same area burned over district so his area was really religious And it was very Pentecostal in a lot of parts But he has extensive journals this James Strang And so he's like you know actually I'm kind of an atheist and I don't really believe any of these bitches

And Harvey the author about Strang has a clip about that At nine minutes if you could pull that up Alright nine minutes pulling it up But but there were all sorts of con men running around so I do use that word about Strang But I think with Strang one of the really interesting things about him is This mix of utopian idealism which I think he had in Drow's In which I think now we have in Drow's I don't always agree with this kind of utopian idealism But and just absolute cynicism

And and and they're both very very present from early on one of the cool things about Strang is we have his journals From the time he was about 19 to about time he was about 23 And you know and he comes out of this very religious place in western New York And he writes in his journals he's a total atheist he can't tell anyone that he writes about it In code but he also grew up in this intense Baptist upbringing And he also writes like you know when I talk about God and the Bible

People really listen to me I'm really good at that He knew what he was good at He knew what he was good at He knew what he was good at He knew what he was good at Drowning and talking about Jesus He was a talker He's like dear diary I'm going to scam people today Just like that Yeah I mean my microphone I wonder if that comes through I definitely heard it I know you did but I wonder if the people heard it I have a coffin burp button so Just you know I like to be professional

He wrote bodily functions in his journal So like that's the you know I'm making that claim He's very thorough He was like I burp three times today Not very many times Not as many times As much as I wanted to but maybe tomorrow will be better And he'll spew forth about Jesus Aren't pick crabs probably true at this time People didn't have freaking showers and stuff Aren't pick crabs Soaking Soaking Bro soaking I can't get into it Spooky R. says Mormonism is old style American I agree with that

It's a distinctly American religion A distinctly American religion It is a religion founded on the principles of capitalism And the old American way Oh man modern Mormonism is the most capitalist shit I've ever seen Yeah Look up where any multi-level marketing scheme is based And most of them come out of Utah right now They just fucking love their multi-level marketing schemes And as we've talked about on the show They also love Eugenics They fucking love them And they have been collecting

They have the world's largest collection of DNA data sets And they know everybody is And they don't own ancestry.com anymore I don't know if they ever I mean I'm sure that they have a stake in some of that stuff so they can get it It used to be there as they sold it Okay Well yeah they're in the market for learning your genetic code Is it DNA data sets or is it genealogical data?

Genealogical data sets Yeah there's a cave in the mountain Yeah Back when I still had a member number before I extricated myself With like a lawyer and stuff So they can't count me as a member anymore Cause fuck them that's why Yeah Because even if you don't go to church anymore they'll be like There's blah blah blah members of the church worldwide And I was like not me bitch Get out of there So Anyway, genealogical records They're obsessed

But this is before that because the church is being invented That came from the line Of course this is well before that They're obsessed This guy's string And his floor because he was of delicate health As Wikipedia told me And his mom wasn't really educated enough to teach him at home as most women Couldn't read at this time They're not everybody in rural America could teach their children That's why they went to school Sure But it was rural and the teacher wasn't even there half the time

So he would just kind of like be bored And imagine things And eventually he would find ways to learn about like Caesar And Napoleon and he'd be like you know what I want to do that I want to be a leader That's what I'm destined to do And he became a lawyer at 23 He passed the bar Which you know I don't know what it took to pass the bar Back then they only had like five laws As I was going to say there's like three laws And none of them have to do with traffic

Cause there's no cars so how easy was that The law was like you have to pay your prostitute On time On time Or with good credit You know things like that ишes your horse Yeah, don't hit your horse in the middle of the road Don't change horses in the middle of the stream Do hit your slave Because it was New York So they would have been like that's not cool actually That's not cool We have your own shitty neighborhood for you to live in free Yeah Full-free Pay your pharmacist

And do they have pharmacist or is it just some dude with a firm Pay your witch doctor I don't know whoever the doctor was Pay your surgeon Back then if you got a cold they just cut off your arm Your surgeon slashed into a slash barber Slashed into a slash barber or a slash tavern worker Yeah And his name was probably like buddy His name was probably like Edmund Oh yeah you're probably right Or Ezekiel Yeah it's New York his name was Hyram Yeah Hyram Abraham Gross

He had dreams this guy's strength he wanted to be important I'm destined to be important someday Even though I barely went to school just like Smith I'm gonna go be a leader And like boobs was talking about very recently He wanted to lead them into kind of a utopia Mm-hmm And this pivotal moment of where Smith died People really didn't know who the next leader was gonna be He had a lot of close confidence these guys Brown Smith but no one was written down as confirmed

The next leader because you know God's supposed to determine that stuff And God was decidedly absent in this moment in time So strength managed to produce a letter That Joseph Smith wrote that said Strengths the next prophet Okay guys just like do what he says And he found it Oh how convenient So convenient but like he showed it To Joseph Smith's brother and his family And a lot of the higher up leaders at the time and it like seems legit And they uh Five thousand of them believed him

And they went and followed him to Wisconsin While the rest went west with Brigham Young That old so and so That old bastard To Utah so they could practice Pulling me outside of the realm of the US government Or so they thought That's a different story for a different day But I've been to that fucking ranch where they all went to is called this is the place It's a state park it's very boring Don't go there This is the place which is what they said when they got there Literally that's it Yeah

And I've been to Brigham Young's house in Salt Lake Damn If I ever founded a town with people That town would be called something like Sweet fucking view Why did this settle here?

Had a sweet fucking view This vista is killer bro Killer vista bro Yeah It's what's up Fucking sweet town Yeah Fucking sweet avenue Oh yeah They didn't have that they didn't have fun yet until they hit California later Hmm that's where the fun begins So like the way that's trying to differentiate it himself from Brigham Young He's like, Yo, Pollygamy is bad I don't want to do that That's not good we don't want to do that And the people are like, Well, I don't want to do that either

But I still want to follow Jesus in this Mormon persuasion so I'm going to go However, after a couple of years There's magically some brass plates that showed up Brass plates, not golden plates But they call them golden plates but they're brass Which is an anachronistic thing to say because I don't think brass was invented at the time They were claiming these were created historically Oh sure brass was Brass is uh No I mean because these plates are literally ancient That they found supposedly

Yeah brass was like bronze Like uh It's a composite metal It's it's composite of It's supposed to be like Ancient ancient Ancient brass I think brass is around I'm trying to tell you the Mormons made it up Because there's all kinds of fucking anachronistic bullshit I got you Like they said people came It's copper and zinc alloy Yeah It's been around for a long time But probably not in North America at the time they were claiming I agree with you I don't think so

And they weren't writing fucking horses either but apparently in the Book of Mormon they were Which is stupid Anyway, I'm diverting Uh he said this guy's straying was like The law in the Lord golden plates From the literal arc of the covenant But I found it in like Wisconsin Indiana Jones didn't look there He fucked around Uh he said well We actually need more rules And one of those rules was like I'm gonna be king And we're gonna go to beaver island And I really like this description

I read about what he wore for his coronation They're just like yeah let's go to beaver island michigan Which is the very top Of the upper left Like what lake is that? Is that michigan or superior?

I don't know lakes I don't have to know lakes But it's from California I can't tell you what the great lakes are What is the middle of America I couldn't tell you I'm sure that there are people They're really screaming at us right now The one shaped like a penis Like michigan you mean by green bay There is the very top of lake michigan And we're gonna settle down there We're gonna have our own little kingdom And I'm gonna be your king And I'm gonna be king James The first of this island

And he's establishing a regal residency Within the boundaries of America Nice And legal it turns out And he wasn't like emperor And trying to make things better Or was he Because he was also Like listen to this get up I don't know, listen to this get up I'd hang out with this guy About 300 people witnessed his coronation For which he wore a bright red flannel robe Which was topped by a white collar With black speckles His crown was made of tin Rather than gold And it is described in one account

As being a shiny middle ring With a cluster of glass stars in the front That's cute Pretty aesthetic if you ask me Yeah Sounds like a dry queen A little bit, I mean I think he's trying to do Like the whole Spartan deal Or something soldier of God There's also they use that a lot And Mormonism too They're like we're the breastplate of God The gospel bullshit So that you can feel really self-righteous And tell people about Jesus He wrote a bunch of shit He had visions like any prophet does

Baptisms for the dead Is a distinctly Mormon tenant More made up shit I've done that So you died and then they baptized you?

Yeah so they're like hey people have to be baptized To go to heaven and they have to be Mormon baptized And you have to do it on earth So like all these people that died They didn't have the opportunity Because magical Joseph Smith wasn't here yet So we're gonna take their names And baptize them by proxy How nice of them I guess Everybody's Mormon in the afterlife I suppose which sounds like the most boring after life of all time That's definitely one they've done on South Park Sometimes

Absolutely Like when Saddam Hussein goes back to the devil And he's with the other guy And the devil makes a deal to put Saddam in heaven And he goes up there and it's all just boring Mormons And they're like We're gonna do a seminar and how fun it is to not drink Yay!

Yeah we're gonna go play Yatsi Yeah So people in Michigan liked him He was an actual lawmaker And he passed five out of the 11 bills he proposed And he helped make Michigan into a real legit state Well on H-05 I can see that Yeah I mean anybody could be in the legislature There's like 30 people there Yeah And they're probably a lot of them just extremely religious people up there Like making it work Like this guy he loves God We better put him in the government Because those are intertwined

Well this guy obviously had some sort of charisma I mean he had 55,000 people fall And it grew to 12,000 Yeah so this guy obviously had some chops He was king for six years That's uh that doesn't happen by accident That's yeah that's that's considerable People he's gosh darn it people liked him Gosh darn it And he had some sweet duds However All was not well in paradise Because he's so good He's so nice Because he switched his opinion on plural marriage So he makes a big deal about polygamy

Which is like one of these These major disputes between the various sex Of Mormonism And like literally every other Christian religion in America at the time Right They're all like hey Mary one person We literally said that It's so basic And this guy gets a taste of power And he goes actually I could have bitches on my left And on my right And they'll do whatever the fuck I say Because I'm king James Well it didn't suck for him I guess Because he had five wives And

Have you ever had five wives before?

Yeah no I haven't even had one Yeah yeah Anyway continue It's so many I guess half of them died though Between five wives only 14 That's busy Come on there's like grapes of wrath families That had one spouse and they had 14 kids Yeah but how long were they together He's only been king for six years So he has 14 kids in six years I don't even think it was six I think it was like four Okay that's impressive Yeah Super regal seed all over the land It is beaver island after all

Cotton gin has five wives over there Not yet They should He should have expanded the enterprise He didn't think of that He was too busy fucking Too busy fucking And having a million wives And then people got pissed though They're like I thought we weren't doing that We're over here because we wanted to be normal And like not do that And also it was illegal One of the reasons why the Mormons had to go to Utah Is because the literal federal government Was coming for them but the polygamy

They're like you can't fucking do that And also you're evading taxes Um so his version of Mormonism is switching People are getting upset He defended his new tenant by claiming that It's not the same These women can choose who they want to marry But they gotta get married And a dude can marry a bunch of women But a woman can't marry a bunch of men We don't have enough men He said I don't know he tried to justify it You got one lady with five husbands And the Lord said Run a train on this bitch

Yeah Jesus Christ Can you imagine I can't imagine I believe I saw that in a video once On the internet Yeah So he was like she could choose who she wants to Father her children right but she's got to have kids And then he's like these five bitches These are for me I thought he wasn't as much of a creep as Joseph But it turns out he was Because when he was 42 he married a 17 year old That was like bra And one of them was 19 Which is technically legal but he was like 38 That's gross

So it's like comment are gonna con And he's gonna do this shit How many fucking cults ended up with like Oh the cult leader he is a bunch of bitches Well Sin and on There's a sort of a pattern with power hungry men That's kind of what they're all about You know Just like bitches They just Jenna's one of that sweet pun That's why one starts a cults never Jesus It never is So another deciding factor This is really funny Was telling women what to wear Got him like really in their bad graces

Of his followers And there's like tens of thousands of Mormons Going to Utah he's only got about 12,000 So it's a very small faction of how many were at the time Mormons were already in England doing missionary work internationally So this guy he didn't have a lot of Followers to lose But if you could play the dissenting moment clip That's 1605 Yeah It's not gonna go well when you tell women what to wear You know the early 19th century in America Where American cults are getting started

Another thing you would do Which is one of the things that really led to dissent on the island is And with many things trying it cuts both ways Is if you were a woman on the island you would wear pantaloons Which now that may not sound very shocking to us today Pantaloons are basically they look like Turkish pants or pajama bottoms And the women Very comfortable Yes indeed and in fact comfort was part of it But the woman who wore them also wore big dresses This was a period of many hoop skirts

It was very much this feminine display But to people the time they were shocking Now the progressive part of that is People on Strang Island were wearing these a year before a Million bloomer or almost a year before a million bloomer wore them And they became this symbol of feminism Right or proto feminism was called feminism Then women's rights The bad thing was as we know from various cults There's this control cult leaders use And one of the ways you control people is through clothing

You say you must all wear this And so eventually on Strang Island All women will wear pantaloons Because I said so and some people said no And his assassination was preceded by kind of a pantaloon war Yeah A pantaloon A pantaloon assassination Yeah I love that And in a weird way That's real shit right there I looked up pictures of what these looked like And it's like you know typical like Where pirate pants these like pantaloons But it lets you wear pants

But a lot of this is like women are wearing big skirts They're still wearing corsets So to ask them to wear pantaloons Was like really indecent It's like asking somebody to like live in a bikini every day of their life It was like before women really were wearing pants At all And while he may have thought it was like pushing things forward He was still telling women what to wear They look ridiculous by today's standards Coincidentally not coincidentally

Mainstream Mormonism has like mandatory undergarments That people have been through the temple have to wear called garments And I never did that because they thought it was stupid One of the reasons why I left Mormonism Because I'm 99% certain that if there's a god he doesn't care It's fucking underwear you're wearing So you're saying that you are You're going through you went through a similar process that these women probably went through all the way back then

In the early 1800s of wait a minute why does god care about what I wear He don't He don't what's up with that why are you doing this?

And by the way if you want to see a picture of these pantaloons we have them in the show notes You can go to zoosyscorner.substac.com episode 167 And check them out Yeah just like these women you're right Because it's tight Because it's tight Thank you So because these women were like no Suddenly a half his fellowship was like oh I don't know about this guy I don't know that he's speaking for Jesus at all A disaffected member of his second name Thomas Bedford freaking shot him in the street

Oh, we're by a pier And that ship the USS Michigan you know the one A really important naval ship The USS Michigan what did the Michigan do?

It was a big ass boat I know that And it was parked near beaver island at the time Naval officers on the decks of the ship straight up saw James Strang get shot And he's been king for six years he's well known across the state of Michigan In fact Millard Filmore was really aware the president at the time He was aware of James Strang and he was going to come in and be like you can't be king in America Turns out

Yeah, no shit. I thought we gave that up. Were you not there revolutionary war have you heard of it?

Yeah, you heard this thing called the Constitution We got we kicked out monarchs We said no no more of those we all agreed Maybe you weren't there Kings are not it their pass A And Strang said actually I'm the king of beaver island because Jesus So he died because ten days later Ten entire days later after being shot He did not name a successor just like Smith he just copy Smith who was also copying everybody else so it's a copy of a copy

It's my dream of Muhammad Muhammad did the same thing didn't didn't leave a like didn't write down who was going to succeed him Because why would you this was also supposed to be for you and then no things went pear shaped Yep People the reason why I want to talk about this is because palipal people believe in some crazy shit

Sure do and the one of the arguments that the author Harvey was talking about was like are Americans predisposed to believe conman in particular is that just like a tenant of where we come from Or is it maybe we haven't cornered the market maybe it's just human Was straying actually megalomaniacle or did he really want to help people in a weird way Was he ill?

Was he ill? Was he just some guy that got away with a lot? I don't know But he I feel like he chose really well he chose his allies well and like swooped right in there if you ask an average Mormon member right now They will not know who James String is And that's another reason why I like talking about him because I didn't know about him until I've been out of the church for like five or six years already They really Mormons are excellent at PR

They're excellent at tamping down things that are unsavory about their history Google mountain medals mask room They're really good at like burying stuff that doesn't make Joseph Smith look good He's not special Joseph Smith because String did it too Like a whole bunch of members that knew Joseph also followed this guy String into a fucking island in the middle of Michigan with like nothing on it

So there's just con men everywhere at this time when I find that fascinating like so many cults are popping up and they didn't even have a word for it yet And one of those cults is like hundred a hundred billion dollars of assets tax free right now It persists is that long it's crazy So I like talking about James String because he conned a con man he swooped in on Joseph Smith's game and fucked around I love that

Are you familiar with the mountain medals massacre? Yeah Can you say it off the top of your head what that was about?

It's a little hard for me to remember the details of who's who but there was basically like because Utah was a territory It's hard to say who said what but apparently bringing me on kind of was like there's these people over in Utah that are trying to fuck up our paradise over here You should probably kill him so they did and they even killed like children and women who were just hanging out Because everybody was settling and walking across this desolate landscape and

Bergen Mjong I don't think was ever pinned for it because he was a religious leader at the time But I know that the president who was a new president at that time It was a miller to film or anymore James Buchanan they were trying to come for these Mormons even the way over in Utah they're like we're trying to make this a territory

And into a real estate and you're still practicing polygamy. Hello stop Shoot, shoot violence Utah was a very desolate place then you go over there and just do whatever you want Except there was Native Americans over there already and they're like excuse me you guys are fucking weird And Mormons are like we live here now Yeah Next to the salt flats Mormons were actually huge frontier Mormons were huge in the assimilation schools and snatching up Native children

They don't like to talk about that either But I imagine that was the mentality at the time they were just trying to help the natives So was like any other Christian religion at that time they were just snatching up Native babies left and right and Mormons were no different Well they aren't so different then a lot of American culture

I mean the the founding fathers were part of what you could call a Protestant movement that came in and and felt very justified in what they were doing because they thought that their Protestant God was behind them on it And America again seems to have that sort of fervor So what some form of Christianity or another seems to be at the bedrock of every kind of justification for the white man coming in and doing what they're doing

Like they said in Boko Hanis these white men are dangerous. It's true at this time especially so it's a you know Do you know that Joseph Smith tried to run for president? No he failed But yeah He's pathetic A lot of people at the time were like yo that's lame no one's gonna vote for you your religion's fucking weird People thought it was where the JFK was Catholic way the hell in the 60s they weren't gonna vote for a Mormon that was just born

No, it's just like fake as hell even still like growing up a lot of people in into school with the like Mormonism is not Christianity and like you're gonna call and they were halfway right Well it's a way that people think about it and they're not wrong but again it comes from a grounding of Protestantism Yeah it is Protestant So you know you've got all the great Protestant sex you've got your Baptists and you've got your Methodists and you've got your this and that

If you're Mormon in the South it's like really weird. It's not good for you. Mm-hmm just like if you're literally anything in Utah Anything other than the Mormon fun fact the Mormon corridor Idaho Utah Arizona also known as the Morador I hate that I hate that you should hate it because it's awful. It's terrible all the beer is bad. Sorry. I know that now. Yeah everybody knows that now. I bet you I mean I don't want to step too far here

But I feel like Utah probably is the one state that's behind in the beer scene. I You know we get we better go drink there. I agree When I was there I had some tasty whiskey but I don't think any of them are made in Utah. I don't even know how difficult it is to run a brewery there. It's probably interesting. I'll ask some people. Yeah. Well that's my topic today. Thanks for letting me like Prattalon about shit.

Oh well thank you for joining me and thanks for talking about this wonderful topic this James Strain character. Dudes creating kingdoms on pieces of land than nobody wanted. Oh I like we say the Mormon pirate king of Beaver Island. He also created a currency for a while. Oh well I'm sure and if you make your own country you have to show your own currency. That's that's like a big deal. That's the first thing you do.

Hell even Lincoln did that. Do you know Lincoln issued his own currency? No. Yeah greenbacks. No shit. No logs. Uh Lincoln logs. Missed opportunity. He's bad at marketing. That's why it wasn't a cult leader. Yeah Lincoln did it. He found out that he had the constitutional power to do it. You approached the Rothschilds and all the European banking families were funding but they were going to charge them exorbitant interest rates.

And so he went to a secretary treasury and they found out they could just issue their own money. And that's what they did. They can make shit up turns out. Yeah. The United States has been printing their own money for a long time. And the question is if it's worth anything or not. No. Well thank you private browsing.

Thank you for joining us. Thank you for. Thank you lavish. Oh you know I like it quite a bit. I'm really glad to spend this time with you. That's pretty cool. Yeah. Thanks for boops for being nice enough to let me join in on your podcast here. Yes. Yes. Thank you ground. Boob air is down right Magnanimous Philly. And uh... I hope that he's absolutely covered in blood and partying his ass off right now. You know he told me he said hey I gotta go to this quark concert. I'm sorry.

And I said you go and do that man. You deserve it. Go fucking party your ass off. Get gward. Get gward hard. Yeah. If you know what I mean. I do know what you mean. Yeah. Now before we go and by the way you still have another minute or two to get a scream mail and if you want if you call it 612-263-799-put it maybe your two cents about what the lovely private browsing is talked about this evening. The lovely. Yeah. Yeah. You're in me. You're pretty lovely too lavish. Oh get the f***.

Lovely lavish meter made. Now I have some boost your grams to make good on private browsing. Okay do it. Now the chat was kind enough to remind me that the boost spot exists in no gender social.

I'm asked on so I'm gonna go in through the boost that came in this evening and again I'll make good to the boost that we had from before the show. I promise I'll make good on that. But here we have a 35,000 Satoshi's. Huh. Diggin'y dog. Huh damn. 35,000 Satoshi's from Servo. Extremely lovely man as a matter of fact Servo is the only guy we have in the green room who has his own bust.

A bust you say. A bust yes. I have one of those. What you do. You do. But in the green room we have a bust of Servo it's like one of those Roman busts except it's one of those Styrofoam wig holding things you know. It's like that SNL's get with it like get your bust to your great Roman bust in your columns. Your columns your bust your columns yeah he's a column fella.

He said 35,000 which is a he says friendly reminder to launder your dirty cocaine bills use 5% diesel to really get those stains out. Uh that's true. I'm looking for the cocaine boost here today I learned. Oh here we go. That's a line for Servo. Much better delicious. Thank you Servo a bump for your bust. We also have 16,666 Satoshi's from Mary Kate Ultra and she says PB Boost.

Hope you two are free this Sunday at 7 p.m. Eastern we're doing games again. Cosmere.com slash hyperspace hyperspace out. Yeah. Hell yeah. Love to do that. Love that shit. Yeah. We're Jack box and all over the goddamn place. I'm Jack in this box. Whoa. Hey. Whoa. Soon. It's not that kind of show. It is actually it's a late night show. Oh shit. 16,66. Well for you I'm going to do a dealer's choice on boost. Drop the hammer.

That's right. Give you a drop the hammer go plus a sensor. Dealers choices which you get. We all. My favorite is the goat with the super smash sounds. Yeah. Yeah. You know what we'll give everyone more goat just just for good time. We'll give her a. Samurai goat. Yeah. Thank you Mary Kate Ultra. You're wonderful. Also we have make heroism who may or may not know Mary Kate Ultra. He boosts 6,666. That's a goat. So we're doing a dealer's choice goat here. Yeah.

Is that a boobery I see we got a boobs in the chat. He's returned. Like Lazarus but not the dog. But not the dog and I like Sissy Fiss. He rolled his boulder. Sissy Fiss I believe I saw them in a direction. Oh. I'm sure you did make heroism boosted 6,666. That was the goat for him. We also had bully steed come in with 8888 sets. Oh bully. Yeah. Boole also known as boosty steed also known as the Dame B. And she says welcome private browsing podcast cherry.

She gave a little cherry emoji cute. So that's a gimp for you. Love I felt it. Yeah. Yeah. Right in the nips. Right on the nips you see. We also had from net net also known as the motor city monster. We had 10,000 Satoshi's from net net. He says how about some six sets via fountain. Now let's do a dealer's choice boost for net net. What do you think? I like the sores. I see you shiver with just. It never does it does it.

You suck a shit. Got your mother fucker. All right. Thank you net net. Very very kind of you. An anticipation boost for you. We also have cotton gin. Oh the cotton gin. The one and only. The one and only cotton gin. You sent in 13666 sets. And he says here's some guar recovery tokens. I guess people think that boobs probably you know. Last is his his sats all over that place. I would. Who among us? Because the 13666 is over 9,000. It's over 9,000. What 9,000? Yeah. Do a barrel roll.

Wow. What the fuck. That's right. That's a Tianjin explosion for cotton gin. That's how much I like that fella. Talk about Chinese rice. Oh. We ate Chinese rice with cotton gin. Whoa. We hung out that one time. Bing, bong, bing, bing. That karaoke bar no longer exists. And I'm big sad about it. Ooh. RIP. Big rip. RIP to that. They had raincoons. Mm hmm. The one that Bizzle and I sang a song together in the women's bathroom. It's gone. RIP. It was it was a well loved joint.

Tell me all about it. When I first started visiting you up in Seattle. Uh, we are speaking of Seattle. Guess who came in with a six six six six satosies. None other than the man himself. Sharky. My gosh. Sharky. Sharky came through. We we said his name and we summoned him. We conjured him. A sharky came in with a goat boost. So let's give him a samurai goat. Goody. Uh, let's see. Here we go. Samurai goat for your sharky. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Bloody bloody good stuff.

Uh, we have another boost yet another boost from Junta. He sent in three hundred and thirty three satosies. And he says a new power couple has arrived. Oh. I don't know. I don't know what you're talking about. Hi, Ken. A got need money. There. There's your I need money. Alex Jones boost. Same. Let's get another one. Yay. Yeah. That's it. That's fucking it. Oh my god. We have one more goat. Oh, wait. Junta is clarified. He says I didn't say it like that. I said it in all caps.

So let me let me say this in all caps. A new power couple has arrived. There you go. All caps. Uh, we had one more goat come in from a little fella, a little moth man. I like to call Boo Berry. I like calling boobs, but people call him Boo Berry. He boosted six thousand six hundred and sixty six satosies. He says, um, actually I am a good boy. Red, maybe blue, definitely red shirtless, very fucking red and wet.

Me too. Oh, you dog. You dog. Uh, it kind of you kind of sounded like a Trump quote there. Uh, this boost definitely red shirtless, very fucking red and wet. Maybe the wetdest ever. I'm actually a good boy. I'm actually a good boy. Well, for that you get a better up goat, Boo Berry. Yeah. My boy. And I believe up till then, I think that covers all of the booster grams

that came in tonight. If you're interested in doing that at podcasting 2.0 boost to Graham service, you can go to podcast apps.com or nude podcast apps. To shreds you say to shreds you say and houses wife. Uh, to shreds you say yes. That's right. You can go and you can get in on all the action there. I like to thank all our callers for calling in at 612 to 6379999. And uh, and it's very little when we even got a little something here from widow Garrett right at the end all.

It's great show y'all. Uh, what are your thoughts on big love? Oh, man. With the HBO series, Ms. Private Browsen wasn't that bill packed and certainly was. So I was, I didn't have HBO growing up, but it was on while I was in high school and people had talked to me about it all the time. I wasn't, I didn't have a way of watching it. So, but I heard about it a lot. And I think I should revisit it like now. A friend of mine in college watched it and he liked it.

Uh, an HBO is HBO. I mean, HBO is good. After we finished the pranos removing on a big love. That's right. I'm putting private browsing through her first watching of the sprannos. Christopher. Christopher. It's the best. And the first thing I did was hit up Sir Spencer for that woke up to his mom. Dan got your gob. Yeah, perfect. And he, of course, told me about that as an Italian. That shows speaks to me. Wow. Uh, Booberry just put in a picture here of him. Cut him red handed.

Got him red handed in his bathroom. In his bathroom, which is wood flooring. It was going to say like his bathroom is painted in goats blood. It's true. He is covered in blood. No matter what, even when he takes a night off, he still gets covered in blood. That's what, that's what they do around here. Those goats don't die for nothing. That's right. Or use it for interior decorating. Uh, so what do you think? How do you, how does it taste all that goats blood? Not bad, right? Not bad.

Not too bad. Little, uh, little reedy, little grassy. Yeah. You know, little iron in there. Nothing wrong with that. Cotton just says, superannos is overrated. Listen, I'm only in season two. I'll get back to you. Yeah, yeah. I'll get back to you. I'd like to know what cotton jins, uh, superior shows would be. Uh, but I like it because it's just silly. Oh, I just like, I like it when they say, oh. It's so funny. And I like it when they say, hey, take it easy. Yeah. I'm a simple man.

So Sunday gravy. Yeah, little Sunday gravy. Oh, tell you it easy. What? No fucking ZD. Fucking ZD. Yeah. Uh, somehow or another we're going to like start a D&D campaign. This is business. Bitch. Go. I really want to do a D&D campaign on here. And we will. We will. That'll all come in good time, my dear. Uh, but in the meantime, I think. Unless you have well, let me check the phone lines real quick. Yeah, yeah. Make sure I'm not leaving anybody out. I don't want to leave anybody out.

Be fucked up. Let's see here. Oh, uh, uh, I think we got some more voicemails. I think we got some more voicemails here. So let's hear it. Let's hear it. Oh, wait. That's not what I wanted. Not this. Not this. I wanted this. All right.

Well, we got a bunch of, I'm glad I checked. Here we go. Let's listen to some screen-mails here. You're a rich girl and you're gone too far. Because you know it don't matter anyway. You can rely on the old man's money. You can rely on the old man's money. It's a bitch girl. But it's gone too far. Because you know it don't matter anyway. They money, but it won't get you too far. Get you too far. Get you too far. This is my best bitch. Don't you know, don't you know that it's wrong?

The thing what is killing you so far gone, oh, you're wrong. You could get it along if you try to be strong, but you'll never be strong. God's your rich girl, and you're gone too far. Because you know it don't matter anyway. Bitch girl. You can rely on the old man's money. You can rely on the old man's money. It's a bitch girl. Bitch girl. And you're gone too far. Because you know it don't matter anyway. Bitch girl. Yeah, money, but it won't get you too far.

It's a man, but it won't get you too far. That was my best bitch. Oh, thank you, caller. That was dynamite. And it's her fucking birthday today. Happy birthday, caller. That is my number one karaoke jam. Nice. And she knows that. Well, please don't sue us. A certified banger. Yeah, hell yeah. Nice. Thank you, caller. I love her. That was fantastic. Woo! You know, we still got some time. We got plenty more screen-mails we're going to go through. This is the best thing we've ever done. I love her.

I love her. I love her. I love her. Woo! You know, we still got some time. We got plenty more screen-mails we're going to go through. This is the best thing we've ever done. I love her. We got plenty more screen-mails we're going to go through. This is your last chance. You get one in. Call us. 612-263-7999. You can feel it deep down. Deep down in your tummy. I know that there's a call for us. Down to your pantalones. Down in your pantalone. You can find 612-263-7999. Just give us one nightcap.

Give us a late night tickle. Yeah. Thank you so much, caller. Here's the next one. Woo! When you're thinking like, oh man, I got to call behind the scenes. When you get soundtrack because you get home because you got nothing to do. The sister mom picked both the house and yada yada, which is cool. But yeah. Yeah. It can be the first screen. And this will probably won't be so much for you anyway. At this point, I don't even know. But in the end, the other one, let's see. Oh, yeah.

Last of very long. Or just get a general. Like, people playing music. And there's other people around. Kind of thing. Like, there's a job site today and something starts like, and granted that. It was the trace that's probably, there longer than like the ones that are just there for a couple of days. But like, we start playing music. It's just one of the things like, dude, everybody can have headphones just like, maybe to that versus like throwing speakers when it's already kind of like loud.

And then I don't want to hear you music, man. I'm like a week out behind the podcast. I got to do my thing, you know? Yeah. So I guess, yeah, like, playing music. When there's like other groups or other people around, kind of thing. We're at the water the other day. Like a lake or something like that. And the same thing. And I was just like, dude, I don't want to hear your music. We're just in our group. I'm not part of your group. I'm a, you know, turn it down or whatever.

And then a third thing, I guess, in this would be, so that would be another, ahh! And then the third screen might be controversial, but we were camping. And it's for one people. Same thing down at the lake. There's a lot of the pot. And it's one of those like, I get it. It's chill, you know? It's kind of like opening up and having a drink or something like that, I guess, as far as like chill. But I get it. To me, it's not horrible. And every of my group, it's not horrible to them too.

So it's just one of those like, we're trying to enjoy ourselves. And then, Mel grows up and goes, we're trying to enjoy ourselves. And then, Mel grows to us. And then it just kind of runs our moment. So, you know, it's kind of like, respect those around you. Yes. So, anyway, it's been a long day, it's like 12 and a half. Which is cool. Just need it. And yeah.

But anyway, all of the guys, pretty sure, Mr. Lavash, Mr. Boubert, my fan, the pop of Goliath, the trash can, of the guys that are dangerous. And, you know, give a hearty, Kaka! Kaka! Kaka! Kaka! Can I get a kaka for you? Kaka. Come on now with umph! With them and bigger? Yeah, with a little salt and piss. Come on now. Kaka! That's right. Thank you for Kaka and Christopher Battles. He's a fan of Kakros. Yeah. He's a fan of Kakros. And I totally know what you mean, man.

People need to fucking turn their music off and not talk. They're fucking shitty ass music. You know what kills me the most. This is the, it drives you to a murderous reason. I can guess, I can guess. What? People on speakerphone in public. Worse. People listening to music or watching movies or on speakerphone on an airplane. Out loud. Out loud. That's jail. People watching a film on their phone or on their tablet or listening to music from their phone. No headphones out loud on an airplane.

It's worse. I will one up you. Okay, go. Bitches were doing this in the COVID clinic when I had a fever and I was looking for a test. Christmas 2021 and everyone and their mom was sick. This bitch was watching videos full volume right next to my face. I wanted to kill somebody that day. There is, there is maddening. And yeah, we sympathize with you. That's, that's some bullshit. That's some fucking bullshit. Those people, there's a, there's a layer. Are they listening to fucking Taylor Swift?

It's always some stupid fucking rap bullshit that sounds like shit. It sounds like shit through the phone. It sounds like shit anyway. Just whoever listens to stuff out loud has to listen to the most rinky dink. Fuck, fucking listen into some fucking country ass shit. Typical young blood jeezie gravy, whatever the fuck. It just, it kills me. You know, it can't even listen to fucking real tunes. No, I'm my part of the state. It wouldn't be rap. It would be fucking shitty ass, limp biscuit.

Or it would be fucking Toby Keith. Well, just one of those days. We don't want to hear someone else's shitty music. Everybody sucks. Everything's fucked. That's true though. You know, that's something. That's something. It's a profits year in revelator. Can you give me something to break? Yeah, limpy. Limpy, limpy, limpy broth. We got a few more of voice bells. You still got time. 612, 263, 799, 999. Oh shit. Oh fuck. I forgot what that shit sound like. It's just for fucking average.

That's actually called this number. I barely escaped with my life tonight. I've got home. I still have all four of them. I'm just as surprised as you are right now. Ah, fuck. My whole fucking core hurts right now. Yeah, core works. Fucking shit. That defense. Fucking pivoting. Rolling into it, being bouncing around. There was at one point someone that expressed great gratitude because they reached out to me for like the last two songs and like, please help. I was just like, we got this shit.

We're fucking deflecting and blocking and rolling. I was hurting fucking seconds. I'm not gonna lie. Like, fuck. I have to go fucking like, fuck a cigarette. Catch my breath. Holy shit. I am out of shape for the fucking pants. I'm inexcusable. I can get that shit back in the tip top. Shit motherfucker. Yeah. It was weird. I love a gourd. I don't know if I can tell you a fucking fuck all about the show tonight. I was so much more into it just fucking stay on my feet. It was weird.

Which is unusual. I'm there to fucking see all the visuals you shit. I had to say I'm like, one monster fucking loses arms. And it's just, I don't know, like, there's just more there for the fucking rubbing up on the sweat of everybody else and the blood and of course, of course. But in the green room. Of course, of course, in the green room. The very one. I know that color. I know that guy. Well, thanks for checking in, boo. It was a glad to know that you're doing well.

You're still alive after such an ordeal. It sounds like my literal nightmare. Yeah. It's not my nightmare, but you know, I do it. I do it. I did in 2004. No, 2004. I did one mosh pit in my entire life at Warped Tour. And I was like, nope. Not for me. Yeah. Strangers touching me. I'm a hard pass. I'm the concert goer that's hanging out in the back, smoking a joint, taking it all in. Chill vibes.

Yeah. Only a few times have I ever really gone out of my way to be at the front or tried to get in the scene. Oh yeah. And I find that if you actually want to be at the front, well then you got to be there like it, you know, an hour or two hours early. I did that too. At Treasure Island Music Festival. Yeah, that's right. So a quick story, a private browsing and I were at the same music festival was it's 2009. We didn't know each other and we had no idea that the other was there.

We hadn't met yet. We only just met last year. But it turns out that back in 2009, we both attended the same show. And that show happened to be on Treasure Island, which is your bubuna island, which is the very island that we were talking about that. With the bridge that Edward Norton proposed with emperor Norton proposing to build a bridge on that. Not Edward Norton, not Edward Norton. Boober, you're a champion for being in the pit the whole fucking time. What a real G. Yeah.

But I should say though that at the Treasure Island Festival is the first time I ever did Molly. I didn't do that. I was Mormon at the time. I was not. And I was on a lot of Molly and it was a night that I will never forget. So that's that. I pushed to the front of the crowd over three different shows. I was waiting for it and I saw Beirut and Grizzly Bear, but I wanted to be in the front for December. It's because that's how cool I am. That's some warp tour shit right there. Doesn't know.

Warped tour this Treasure Island. That was Treasure Island. Warped tour. I saw a vlogging Molly and yellow car. Oh, that's cool. Who did I see at Treasure Island? I saw a girl talk and MGMT and flaming lips. Flaming lips. Oh, I wasn't there on the flaming lips night, but yeah. I know it should I know what you're talking. It was a good it was a good lineup. Oh, we got to do some concert Snoop Dogg was in town last night. Missed out. Missed out on some Snoop Dogg, but that's okay.

We have another scream male and I want to thank everybody for for fucking loadness up. Filming it. Pumping us full. Filling us. Filling us. With loads of scream males and you still have a chance to get one more in six one two two six three seven nine nine. Let's see what this could call her head to say. Bro, I want to say a boutta. Joseph Smith was a real OG. I mean, he was 14 years old when he did all that shit. He was like Charlie Manston.

Charlie Manston accomplishes dreams and didn't get popped by the feds because it was the 1800s. Joseph Smith was Mick Loven. It's Mick Loven didn't get like if we've been in the accomplishes full goals of having that fake ID. Joseph Smith was some man. But everything is bullshit, but still I was come up. Well, that's one take. That's a take. It was successful. I guess his legacy lives on now and I gave 10% of my income for like 10 fucking years and I don't get it back.

So I guess he won in the end. And he's permanently scarred everybody and it's his legacy lives on. Yeah, great. Good for him. Good for him. The club in. Yeah, that was I think Sir Seats are. Yeah, that was good. That's pretty clever actually. That's the clever one of Mormonism of America. If there weren't feds around because in 1805 there weren't a lot of feds around. Country was still pretty fresh. Pinkerton's came later. Yeah, yeah.

A federal government in the true sense as we know it really didn't occur until after the Civil War reconstruction. Before that the states were basically their own little countries. You could go fucking murder somebody and rob a bank in one state and then go over state lines and be just fine. That's correct. Junta, he is a money powered ghost. Yes, Junta says 10% of the hunger gains money goes to just a Swiss ghost. Money powered ghost. And the secret boss of Luigi's Mansion.

All you have to do is present him with a 14 year old girl and you win. That's the secret code to that battle. That's what everybody wants to just want money and poo. Underage poo and in particular. Underage poo and they want that underdeveloped scar you for life poo. Have you been around a 14 year old girl? They're rotten. I can't say if I have or have not on air. They're I have. You can say. They're so mean. They're so mean. Yeah. Bitches. They're so awful. Fucking bitches. God damn it.

They get you know what? This is why I like older women. It's rotted, gutted. And fantastic. Oh, thanks. Not just you. It has older ladies. I older with. We're reppin. That's fucking the good shit. Seas and. Full of wisdom. Full of mirth. And financial independence. Blue blooded girls as Frank Sinatra called them. With independent means. That's a you know. They ride in limousines. There came a time in my life where I went I don't want a girl. I want a fucking woman. A woman. I want a woman.

Whoa man. A adult asked grown ass woman. And you're still searching to this day. One day. One day. Uh, maybe that day will come. Somebody your princess will come. Well, in the meantime. Uh, we can hang out. Okay, I'm gonna do anything. Alright, deal. Uh, I can't wait to get these photos back in so I can polish my. And uh, let people know how you fit into all that. It's good. Sorry. Yeah. Hey. I'm chilling. She got away from the mic. I was corrected. Usually I have no correcting people.

Yeah, then she met me like actually. Actually, my sources say. According my sources. My sources are me and my friends on the internet. How do I know this? I had a dream. That's how I know. Damn it. Uh, well, any parting thoughts before we get out of here? It's all the screen meals. It was so, it was a good crop. It was a good crop of screen meals. Thank you so much. And you can get one in for next week if you want. 612-2637-999. Uh, I believe that it was a lovely time.

Thanks for letting me in here. We're at a little corner.

It's fun in there in the green room. I missed it. Certainly is. Thanks for my bedtime. Yeah. Thanks for my bedtime. Yeah, well. This is one of those late night shows. And we do like to stay up behind this games. But I'd like to thank you again, private browsing, for joining us today. You are magnificent. Thank you, lavish. You are magnificent as always. Well, thank you. Thank you. And again, this is a value for value production, which means we don't have commercials.

We don't have any of that bullshit, no shitty reads. We just have you. And if you enjoy the show, and you want to be a producer, you want to contribute. You can find us at our website, BTS.LOL. You can find us our show notes, ZoSosCorner.substac.com. You can find links to all of the things that we've got going on. We've got our shop, BTS.shop, which we think make heroism and Medicaid ultra-fore. We've got different ways you can contribute. We've got our emails.

You can email me at lavishbehindtheskeames.com or lavishblas at gmail.com. And you can email BooBariatBoo at behindtheskeames.com. You can come do our chat room. We have an IRC chat room, hashtag greenroom on the server IRC.0.net. We've got our new social instance. We've got mk.spook.social. You can check that out and we'll be there. But otherwise, we're live every single Monday night. Every single Monday night at 7.30pm western time 9.30c.10.30 Eastern.

Here on the no agenda stream and also on our own stream the Scalish show. And we're just having a good time with it. They've got everything. Yeah, we've got it all baby. Feels good. Get your bus here. Get your columns. Get your columns. Get your greenroom over here. Yeah. We've got a goop. We've got a goop. Oh. Oh. Hey, take it easy. You want to go over to a bunch of binks? Can somebody eat? Hey, I'll see you at a bings. All the way from the brevcoost where things are fucking hot and sticky.

Thank you for joining us. My name has been lavish. My name's Private Browsing. Otherwise known as a regular person. See you next time. Bye.