Apoche Production.
Welcome to Behind the Drapes. I'm your host Brent Draper aka Drakes, and I'm.
Shanlee Draper and we're here to talk about stuff according to us.
Hey, guys, it's Draper here and.
I was naked on the Goldkos Highway.
Yeah, buddy, it's made to give You are a strong woman. Gooday, guys, Welcome back to another episode of Behind the Drapes.
How this came about was this morning, Jokes and I were sitting together and I asked him this question because it just came into my brain and I thought, I want to know what he thinks. And then I was like, wait, wait, wait, don't answer that. This is really good for the podcast. So we literally had to stop talking about it immediately and thought we'd come on and do an episode. And it's just one simple question, but I think it's going to be really relevant for people.
That's really I think the beauty about this is that everyone can ask themselves this question too. We can give the answers of what we feel, but I think people can ask themselves question is.
The question that I asked Drapes was do you ever feel like you should be doing more with your life?
And you sort of like looked at me, you were like, yeah, kind of.
I think my ANSWER's changed a million times the more I think about this.
So, do you think you should be doing more in your life?
Honestly, yes, I should be doing way more. I have an amazing community of people that follow me on Instagram. You know, I could be doing so much more in business. But on the other side of that, with the boys and the amount of time I'm spending with them at this young age, especially Bowie being like seven months and Alfie five, Me and Alfie get on like so good. We have quality time. So in a business way, yes, I could be doing so much more and I should be.
And I also feel like we always say life so short, life so precious. One minute you're here, one minute you're gone. And I've got an ADHD brain too, So I am like constantly. You know, I've postponed this surf trip. I don't want to go on twice. I just need to go do it, like fit it in, get it done, like make it happen. You know. That's the kind of attitude.
But also no, because I'm really lowing this time, this sort of perfect balance between work and watching the boys grow up, and you know, you only get that for this moment, Like in another ten years time, they don't really need us too much. I mean, they'll have their own life then and then maybe then I could really go hard on something, like I know.
But then you're like ten years is so long, Like that's a long time.
It is like I'm not going to be like this for ten years. I've got plenty of things on and I'm busy, and you know, I think with my mates and that I could be doing more. Life's gotten busy if the boys here and I also work different hours than my mates too, like a lot of them are traders, and a lot of them are traders sort of you know, a little bit away, so like you can't just go
down the street and catch up with them. But then the weekends roll around and everyone out there who's got kids, you know, like you're booked up months in advance with bloody birthdays or your little weekend get away. So yeah, I think, like if I split it all in different categories, yes, look, I think I could be doing a lot more.
But listen to you speak, like you've confused my brain, because we should be doing more because there's so much opportunity and there's so many things to do and life is short and go get it and what are you waiting for?
Then we should be slow.
But then the other part is like move slowly, relaxed. You need to rest.
Enjoy your not so much that but like, especially if kids like this is the fleeting moment, Like you sent me an Instagram one of your three hundred a day reels that I never watch.
You don't hate. It's actually so.
Rudeous, honestly, so.
Beautiful and sweet, and I want you to read that.
Honestly, I'll judge it by the first time.
That's offensive.
You know, I watch all of yours barely speaking, do you sucking watch all of it?
I just said you even watched one about it and I send one like a month. You said, like three a day.
Well it's gone from three hundred to three days three days nothing. It's like when I'm on the toilet.
Yeah, yeah, like normally leads in with Bow Taplin or something.
Is that his name, yes, Bo Taplin if you if you're listening, I love him.
I love his poems.
Okay, that real was that your kids are only kids for a lot less time than hopefully they are adults.
Yeah, very shorter. So you've only got children for a small amount of times what it was.
Compared to like how long they're becoming adults because you know, essentially their kids growing up a lot younger these days, so you sort of lose them as children. I don't know what age I.
Want to say, when when are they stopping children? Like maybe ten?
So, in like a real confused way where we're drifting off here, we come back to the thing is we've only got these boys as our little children for such a fleeting moment. So I think maybe I'm actually doing more there by doing less, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, I was fucking bots up God. So my answer insure is yes I could be doing more.
Yeah.
So someone wrote the other day, I don't know if you saw as Actually you wouldn't have seen this because you don't care for this stuff. The other day an Instagram post popped up with a photo of you on the Master Chef Instagram page, and it was like talking about the fact that the show has been nominated for an award, and I clicked on it. Sorry, And it was Facebook that I popped up, and I clicked on it, and the very first comment was something like, where is
this guy? Haven't heard from him since he won, or something like that. You wouldn't have seen it. You didn't see it, And so this is what made me think about this. It's like, it's so interesting how other people may perceive us or you or someone else is not doing a lot, but no one actually knows what goes
on behind the scenes. And we're in the thick of raising two young kids, and it's just funny how that person's perspective, like they don't know what we do, they don't know what our life involves.
We have so many think that's the thing of life. You probably have fifty different ways you're perceived, like by different people just because they're fleeting moments with you leaves like, you know, like some person might think you're an extrovert because they only see you in these sort of times, and then another person who you're close with knows that you're an introvert. Actually it's only what they see of you, so like he's only or whoever they are, they only
see me on a freaking show. And unless I'm on that freaking show again or on a show, you don't know what I'm doing, true, do they? Think that I've just come home and fucking sat in the backyard for a year.
I've been fishing for last year.
Besides fishing, take fishing out of it, and been busy.
Yeah I know, but no, I've been busy.
I want to set this straight, Like I've been fucking flying here, flying there, doing this, doing that.
Yeah, it's not about that, but you know what, like, what is busy?
Baby? Why do you care if you're busy or not.
In fact, if we cast our minds back five years ago, which way, I think this question is so relevant. You didn't want to be easy like you were back then. You were a trade. You were busting your ass. You know, you had like all the physical symptoms of being a trade for a long time that were starting to happen, and you wanted more freedom and more flexibility. You literally
have that now. You can literally do pretty much anything you want to do and make money and live a beautiful life, but not work as kind of crazy intensive hours as you were.
And that's that's a good thing because a lot of people lose this and I really try not to to not forget where you come from. Yeah, so me five years ago would be looking at me now saying you've made it, but then me now because you've you know, it's like climbing that mountain that you can't see the top. You get to the next point and you're like, you won't be happy with that point. You're like, well, the top could be just there, like I'll just.
Keep going, which is why we're asking this question now, like so no, you should be doing it all your life because yeah, okay, yeah, which is funny because no, but I always say, and how often do I say this to you, Like, babe, this is what we wish for, Like we're actually here living the life that we wish we had five years ago. Our life five years ago, by the way, was amazing. It's got nothing to do with money or it's not those things.
It's the freedom. What is my highest value in life?
Just freedom, Like, of course you want to have money, but and be financially free to some degree, but it's always been just like freedom to choose.
I don't want to have a boss.
I want to be able to make money on my own terms, and we literally get to do that. So it's just so funny that we're now sitting here and you're like living this amazing life we live in a really nice house.
We don't own it.
We rent it and we've rented forever and we're hoping to buy a house shortly, but that's never been priority for us.
Right.
What I'm trying to get to is like we always think we should be doing more, but it's not until you look at where you are in this moment, Like I'm like, wow, but we doesn't have to go to daycare every single day, so we have to go to work five days a week. We literally work, but we work different hours. We work harder and faster, and we get paid to do that, and we get to hang out with our kid five days a week. We never
did that with our feet. Our fee was in daycare from home day care and when he was like yeah, ten or twelve weeks old, he went a couple of days a week and then he went full time within I think maybe like the first eighteen months or something. That broke my heart as the first time mum, we don't have to do it anymore. But now we're like, oh, we should be doing more and he should be in dcare more, and but it's.
Human, that's human as human, Hey, we like this, That's why we're going to end up being bloody. As my theory, we're going to be hybrid computer bloody robots, AI robots because the Endless Chase. There's a surf film, Endless Summer, and it's just like the Endless Chase. And that's what we are as humans. We're just like, you know, we have one minute, we have this brand new phone that's just come out, and then within six months it's like, oh, you got to get the new one's got to get
the next one. We're We're in it as a constant chase. We're like dogs after tennis balls throughout.
Life literally and chasing a dopamine hit.
Yeah, and all that's what it is.
It's all about, right, Like doing more means you get those like hits of I've done something, I've done this, I've achieved this, I've succeeded. And like for me as someone who's literally struggled with perfection is.
In my entire life.
It started when I was a kid, like love my parents, love my dad, but I do remember having, you know, a lot of conversations around what I was doing, what I was achieving, what I wanted to do with my life from a very young age. I'm talking like primary school, there was a lot of expectation on me to achieve in life. I look back and I'm grateful for that because I have achieved a lot and I've done a lot, and I have done that because I've always had that drive.
But also, like you know me, I struggle with that, like I struggle with the perfectionism peace, and I struggle with productivity and thinking that I'm not worth much unless I'm proactively working on something or achieving something. Like I started a second company when Alfie was like eight weeks old.
I was ball deep in the first company in the recruitment business, and then I started another business with a business partner, and I had a newborn baby, and I've never done that before, like because my brain was like, oh.
I'm only a mum right now, and I need to do something else.
So when I think about like where I am in my life now, oh my god, I'm worlds apart. Like I'm you know, six years nearly six years down the track. I don't run my own big business anymore. I'm consulting. I'm doing this with you, which I love so fun. I help you with all of your work and business
behind the scenes. I often think like I should be doing so much more at this point in time, But then my brain is like, oh my god, Scheanra, you're a seven months old baby, like and I am busy, Like honestly, like this week, I've had like a rash on my face, broken out, a skin rash again, a hormonal rash that I think is associated with stress because we've got these deadlines this week, we're also going away, we're sleep deprived, we're both feeling a bit sick, and
we've got all these things that we're trying to get done. And so I don't think at this point in time I could cram anything else in it and not feel stressed.
But also my brain is like, yeah, you should be doing more. Oh my god. It's it's just human experience, it is.
It's the grass is always greener. On the other side, we've created this monster with Instagram where you're always scrolling something better than what you've got that you want, like you like mine is like full of amazing food, big fish, big like these massive fish, big big hot like hot chicks, like you know, if you're always like cheese with the mouse, like here it is this is you could have there like it chases it like, but at the same time, I'm like, I'm so happy.
Yeah, yeah, are you happy to have right now?
Yea. But I would love to create something bigger and I would love to get involved in something bigger and like business like yeah, like I've never sort of done that too much.
And do you want the stress of that, because I want to be.
On the side of the business and you've.
Got to get no joking, but do you know what I mean? Something bigger, but then you don't want to stress.
And this is at the same time in life.
Yeah, at the same time, I want to buy a house away from where you know it's so it's a bit cheaper, so we can afford it and we can have that freedom and then create the massive vegie patch and you know all that and but that all takes work because then you'd have to like separate, you'd have to reinvent the brain thinking what we're drilled into to work to get money to live, whereas you'd have to work to live.
Yeah, you're talking about you want to build a farm, yeah, always wanting to have a farm. We want to have our own proof, yes, yeah.
And sort of you know, bring all the money output down whereas everyone is going up with it because they want bigger, they want better.
They everyone trying to make more money.
To have that bigger, better, newer, shinier, you need to make more money and make more stress, and then just viciously cycle and get to a point where you're burn out and then you spiral.
Down and then you think in bed you can't make any money anyway.
Not well so mentally, your physically.
I'm trying to go this other way.
Yeah, the question is probably not do you feel like you should be doing more with your life. The question is probably, when you have everything you've ever wanted.
Are you going to be happy with that?
So I look at us and I think, when we move to our farm, we have our property, and that's all we've ever wanted. We've you and I have dreamt of that for like ten years. It's not like since the kids have come along. This is not since you know, we traveled Australia. You and I have always been on the same page with that. We've always wanted to just get away from everyone and everything and just have our own little space, you know, have our own produce, have our own meat. I was going to say, kill our
own beast. Who am I am? I a farm girlery killer own beasts and just you know, live a really simple life. When we get there, are we going to be happy or are we going to be a bit bored? Because honestly, I can't imagine myself in the kitchen we're not making cookies and being content with that. I'm not I would have run a business. Am I going to be able to do it from the farm?
Yes? We're not in the fucking that's in the middle of the desert.
We had if you had it your way, we would be so doping.
No, we wouldn't. I've got the boat still, I need to be close to the ocean. It'd be a river out there, so no, where we're looking isn't far from here anyway. And there's a thing I found out, this thing it's called Wi Fi and people actually use it to run online businesses, which all your businesses have been do worry about your cookies. I'll make the cookies, thank you, and you can run another little business. But I'm just saying, like,
you don't have to have a multimillion dollar business. Our money for the food and groceries, and that goes down because you know, and then you're more self sustainable.
Yeah, which we're talking about some of our beautiful friends this morning who really want to have on the podcast. They live a couple of hours Inland. They have this beautiful property. They bought this farm super cheap all.
These years ago.
They've slowly built like a shed on it and now they're like fully self sustainable. They you know, only really one of them has to work. They had their own business. Now one of them has a job. The other one looks after their little bub and also renovates this house that they've bought.
They bought this really old house.
They shipped it over to wherever they are on the back of a truck or something, and now they're building this beautiful home. But they've built it, but they mortgage. They have such a small mortgage. Now are they close to the ocean where we want to be. No, are they close to any major cities.
So it's gorgeous.
But for them, they actually have freedom and they have choices. Whereas we have other friends who live, you know, in Brisbane. They've got big, beautiful houses, you know, with million dollar price tags. Yeah, we small backyards, but they have to bust their balls where I want to see us is I want to be on the life's peachey side where we don't have this crazy mortgage that we feel like maybe one day we're not going to be able to sustain. I don't want to have that financial pressure for our
children either. I want to be able to take them on holidays and go for trips around Australia again, and live a life where it's affordable. I'm scared. Scarcity mindset's a real thing. I'm scared that one day, you know, things are going to get so out of hand and so expensive that not even our children are to be able to afford anythings. So for us, it's like, how do we get into the market. Oh my god, now we're talking about we're.
Talking about real estate. It's totally a track.
But how do how do we buy a house that's going to be more sustainable for us in the future so we can actually not have to be doing more with our lives if we don't want to. We can just live of this sort of easy, breezy, beautiful lifestyle.
So for an overview of this podcast, we're both on yes or really confused.
Oh really, you think we got to it?
Yes? There, I think we're Yes, I never.
Feel like you should be doing more with your life.
Yes, I do, but also grateful for what we have and I wouldn't change we have right now. I think if we look back at this episode in like four years and we have a four and a half five year old with like Bowie, yeah, and we're still in this position where we haven't done anything more. We're just kind of cruising what we're doing at the moment, I'd probably wish we had of But also I think like
we have to give ourselves some grace. And any parent here who's listening, who has little kids, like the sleep deprivation is hard.
You know, yesterday I was trying to work. You heard me. I was doing a meeting. It was just hard and it was just brain fog.
It's just like brain fog right now. Yeah.
And it's not just a month thing. It's a dad thing too. Anyone that looks after children, mom, dad, care, a grandparent, whatever. Like my mum just came looked after the kids for eight nights while we went to Indonesia on a work trip.
She was a bustard like she was bustard.
She was crawling back to her house the last.
She stayed an extra two nights when we're down. When we got back, Yeah, and that last night, we're like, go sleep in the caravan because Karen's at the front, and I'm like, you get a good night sleep, and she did. Yeah, where did you see her?
Like seven thirty The next day she was just And that's the thing, like looking after little kids, what I'm trying to say, is really hard. So if you are in the depths of that, like, give yourself some grace. We do try and give ourselves grace because it will pass, but it is also really hard and you're not going to work at the capacity that you want to when you sleep your prift.
That's just the bottom part. So Okay, we're going to wrap this episode up now.
Maybe if you ask yourself this question, and maybe.
It's a question again, was it. Do you ever feel like you should be doing well with your.
Life, doing more with your life, And it doesn't always mean business, but it's just more in general. Yeah,