Part One: Napoleon III: The Worst Bonaparte

I am yes, so your official legal nickname is now Matt Daddy Leeb. Yeah. So if you just call me Daddy on the internet, I'd appreciate it. Um to be back, guys. Um. Just a reminder, I am part of the creator of the world's only The Wire podcast pod yourself The Wire, So listen that. Give us five stars in review and you'll enjoy it. Did I do? That's my soundboard. I won't do that too much a promise. Goddamn right, Oh I forgot, we have a soundboard when you're here. Incredible, incredible,

all the wire drops, Baby's amazing. I was just talking about McNulty and how I'm outraged that he is Prince Charles in the Crown because he's way too handsome, he's way too awesome. But I am kind of enjoying watching McNulty in his natural accent because I haven't heard him do his actual like, oh that's what he's that's what he sounds like. He's a British guy. Yeah, And on the Wire he's just like, oh god, you just it's like sometimes you're like he's crushing it and sometimes he

is just like way off with the Baltimore accent. So it's nice to see him being like Prince chewing gLing year. You know, that's that's what he's supposed to sound like, not you know, speaking of the Wire, which is set in Baltimore, Baltimore compared to where we are, not very far from the Great Lakes. And you know what today is, you know, this week is matt leeb what it is the forty seventh anniversary of the sinking of the Edmund Fitzgerald, which took twenty six brave men to their deaths at

the bottom of the world's primary foe, Lake Superior. Remember that there's a song about it. Well, the legend lives on from the Chippewa on down, you know exactly. Um, and I think, Matt, I don't know if we we've talked about this, but do you remember in the in the in the mid nineteen eighties when the United States retired are Titan missile arsenal um. I don't remember that specifically, That's not my number one thought about the eighties, but sounds like the Titan was the largest I C B

M ever used or ever deployed. Um. It had a nine meg a ton nuclear warhead. It was the most single most powerful nuclear weapon in US history. And we we got rid of them because number one, they were expensive. A number two, a bunch of them wound up an accidents that almost killed millions of people in some bullshit. Anyway, My my, my proposal, Matt, we build a shipload more Titans, and we fire all those sons of bitches off at Lake Superior until that's until it's a goddamn canyon, until

that whole fucking lake is a skate park. That's right, motherfucker. Come on, you think you're so great, Well, how do you like having no water? That's because we boiled it out. Yeah, we boil it out through the Also, I assume if we use a nuke to boil all of the water out of Lake Superior. The Southwest will get more rain, probably, right. That seems like it should solve the problems with the Colorado River. We can, it would solve climate change. Yeah,

it's worth a shot. Right, That's that's why not. That's that's gonna be my campaign slogan when I run for presidents. Just just in new detonating above Lake Superior. Why not? Why not? What do we have to lose? Honestly, if the world's ending anyways, we might as well try a new Lake Superior model of strategy. Listeners, this has absolutely nothing to do with what we're talking about. It has

a little bit to do with what we're talking about today. Sophie, please explain how Lake Superior well, Sophie superior by taking the name Superior, putting on airs that it's better than the rest of us, and you know who else thinks they're better than the rest of us? Nazis, hereditary nobility. Oh yeah, that's true, that's true. What do you know about Napoleon? Wait? Wait, wait the third Love Love Napoleon, the third, the Napoleon, the third, I'm a huge Napoleon

the third. Stam are you are? You are? You I am. I mean, you know, maybe I'm not pro Napoleon the Third, but I'm a big fan. I like that he's the actual small all Napoleon. Uh I like it was. He was a lot smaller than than Napoleon Bonaparte, who was slightly above average size for the time regular uh o G. Napoleon was like a regular guy, like regular size guy,

just with a funny accent. Whereas like Napoleon the Third is the one who was actually small, and he's also the one who was like, uh, you know, he was what the first president of of of France and then immediately became the the second Emperor of France. Like it's he's he's a fascinating guy. He's a fascinating that he is the his facial hair was huge mess one who was facial hair one of the most influential dudes whoever lived. Most people, including like when I started this, I I

knew some about him. I did not realize how much of the modern world was built because of this guy's fumbling, Like he created modernity mainly through fucking up and not thinking it ain't incredible. Um So there's there's two big books that I got through for this, one of which sucked in, one of which was pretty good. Um, it's

the case with nobility. The fun thing about writing about hereditary European nobility is that basically every second of their lives is documented, right Like you're you're never wondering I wonder what was happening in their child? Was like, no, man, We've got like forty different letters from like people who worked in the house, and like, like we know everything about their lives. The downside is that we know everything

about their lives. So this is going to be a four partner Hell yeah, exciting exciting times here before we get into Napoleon, I'm gonna, I'm gonna. I'm gonna just give a bunch of bena drill to my baby so it sleeps for twelve Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, you know what. Let's let's both take some benity. Let's I'll do it. Let's I'll take some benadrill and hear noises that aren't

there as a decide. We were hanging out recently with Dr Cavahota of the House of Pod, friend of the show, and I showed it was him and another doctor friend of his who wasn't from out of state and we were all drinking together, and I realized they hadn't heard about the ben a drill subreddit, where teenagers take insane doses of Bena drill in order to hallucinate, and I

put it up. They were distraught. Was trying to log in through my friends to my friends read it account to post to warrn people to stop doing what they was like, no, no, no, cava. They already took the six hundred milligrams have been a drill, that they've done what they're doing. I'm so sorry, it's too late. Yeah, well, you can't stop this. I didn't know that there was a subwreddit about it, subreddit about it. I actually that was when I was really really into drugs at one point.

I was just like looking up what kind of adverse effects can happen if you take too much of whatever drug? And there's stuff you want to avoid, obviously, like any you know, non steroidal anti inflammatories will really fuck you up, but you want to win. You want to avoid most of the d rugs that are medicine for something else unless you take a pile of them. Right, But I did read, uh you know back in those days that uh yeah, if you take a bunch of bena drill,

you'll have auditory hallucinations. And I will a bunch and I played a whole symphony in my head. It was incredible. Well you had a good time, okay, Well, well no, then my back though, my spine felt like it was vibrating out of my body. It was very painful. It wasn't fun, and I think I almost died. But music, Yeah, So you know, speaking of music, there's an overture about Napoleon, right, like the eighteen twelve overture. So anyway, let's talk about

Napoleon Bonaparte. One day, we'll do what episodes on Napoleon. Obviously he's a fascinating bastard, but we just need to go into a little bit of history kind of about the later period of his reign because that's where the life of Napoleon the Third starts. So in eighteen o eight, Napoleon Bonaparte was the Master of Europe. He had been born in Corsica, which was on the periphery of French power,

to a fairly minor noble family. Was actually more Italian than French, like in the way that we would talk about it now. But Italy was not its own thing, right, it was kind of being consistently fought over by the Austrians and the French. And yeah, yeah, in seventeen eighty nine, when we have our ourselves a French revolution. Napoleon Bonaparte was a fervent supporter of the revolution. He was a Republican for a while. I mean that in like the

literal he supported a republic republic. Yeah, he was a Jacobin, or at least he yeah, yeah, yeah. And obviously like you could say, like, oh, he was, you know, lying the whole time, waiting to get power. But I don't know. I think people changed their opinion on stuff over time, and when I don't know whatever, I don't I don't know. I'm not an expert on Napoleon bought apart um, so he he did lament the execution of the King and

Queen of France. But he broadly speaking, thought that the republic was a good idea and he served it exceptionally well in it as an officer in the middle of Harry, despite the fact that he was at one point briefly imprisoned during the Reign of Terror. Eventually, the post revolutionary government spoiler proved kind of dysfunctional, partly due to the fact that they kept murdering each other and a bunch of other babele uh and some different factions kept getting

in power and beheading the other facts. And you know, there's a shiploadle wars, which is how Napoleon Bonaparte winds up fighting in Egypt, which you might recognize. This pretty fucking far from France. They had to get him before the British got it. I understand the entire you know, like why they did it, because they're like, no, dude, if we don't do this, fucking Britain is going to

do it. But it was a terrible idea. And his experience in Egypt is it's a little bit kind of like Irwin Rommel's going to be a couple of hundred years later where he doesn't win, but everyone's very impressed with how well he does, and he kind of nearly

pulls it off, so he's he's a war hero. When he comes back to France, overthrows the government and establishes himself as first So we're skimming over a lot of stuff here, but yeah, yeah, so this and a number of other things pisces off the other powers of Europe, but we're already not thrilled about the French Revolution, and one by one they start coming after him, and Napoleon

beats them all. Um, he is it is you know, talking when you talk about like what makes ranking like the quality of military commanders, you kind of have to do everyone before about World War One and then everyone after because the nature of war changes so so drastically. But Napoleon up the first like several thousand years of

human war. Being a good general pretty much always means the same thing, which is, right, you have this set piece military and you were able to like you are able to command it in a war of maneuver until bringing the other enemy to battle and defeating them, Right that, Like, that's what what makes you a good military commander, and it is it is arguable that Napoleon was the best

at that that any human being has ever been. Um. He has a military record in terms of numbers of vic reason, terms of number of times he was outnumbered that eclipses Alexander the Great and basically everybody else. He is. He is unstoppable right up until the end when he has stopped. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, you know, to put it in modern warfare terms like his death to kill Ratio was like amazing, and he could do like

three scopes all day long. That's right, he has no he no scopes the ship out of everyone in Europe for for a while. Obviously he's gonna overreach here in a little bit, but that hasn't happened. In eighteen o eight, um, things are doing great there. His armies dominate most of Europe. He's declared emperor in eighteen o four, and as soon as that happens, the Bonapartes, who again had been kind of a minor noble family, are suddenly like one of

the great families of Europe. They're equal to the Habsburgs in the House of fucking windsor right, because all the fucking Europe is their domain now. Napoleon, being the head of the family, because he has effectively conquered Western Europe, starts to turn the Bonapartes into the reach of territories he's conquered. Right Like, they're my my brothers and cousins and ship like, I can trust them the best, so

I'm gonna make them kings of these areas I've captured. Alright, So this whole thing we're just gonna call it like the North Italy. Yeah, you just rule all that ship. Okay, one of you'all bitches takes Spain and uh fucking whatever, dude, this is it's because it's so modern, Like people look at this and they're like, wow, this is really like gangster ship. But that's the only way that feudalism has ever worked. Yeah, it's all just gangster ship. Gangster ship

is based off of feudalism. That's that's that was the original gangster ship. So Joseph is the becomes the King of Naples and also the king of Spain. Um Jerome is made the king of Westphalia and I never remember where Westphalia is, but it's somewhere and somewhere west west, west and west. His sisters Elisa and Pauline become princesses. His sister Kara Len has made a queen of somewhere. Lucian actually you bring up Lucian refuses his brother Um.

He will not bow to his like his kin. But Louis Napoleon Um, who is also almost as strong headed as Lucian, does, reluctantly agree to serve as king of Denmark. Now it will not surprise you to learn that Napoleon Bonaparte rules his family with the same kind of iron fist as he rules every He is literally Napoleon. Um. Yeah, So he commands them to marry who he wants them to marry. He orders them to get divorced just as easily.

He names their children for them. No, no, no. Bonaparte, who accepts a royal gift is allowed to travel without his permission. He keeps them on a tight leash, but as long as their brother remains emperor, they've also got all of the wealth and influence that you know they could have only dreamed of before. So it's kind of a mixed bag um. As some people know, the great

love of Napoleon's life is the Empress Josephine. She had two children already when they got married, and Napoleon is going to have a bunch of children with as mistresses. But for unknown reasons, she and Napoleon are unable to conceive children together. Right, they both do have kids with other people, but they just can't together. There's theories about why that. I mean, yeah, I think the leading theories that after she has her first two kids, something happens

and she's infertile. Um. But obviously we're not going to know exactly why, because this is eighteen o six or whatever. Um, zoomed the body and check on the get in there, get in there, open it up and see what's going on. Maybe there's a little you know, egg topic. Napoleon baby, do the do the do the the Jurassic Park things. Suck out a little bit of Napoleon Josephee DNA and finally make that baby. Put him in a raptor cage, have fucking muldoon with a shotgun sitting outside, feed him goats.

I don't know what we're doing here. They remember they should all be destroyed. Um that it would be funny to be like a nick you doctor and and do that like how dressed up dude, Um putting bottles in their mouths. Spass twelve by your side anyway. Um. So yeah, they are unable to have a kid together, which is a problem because Napoleon is the Emperor of France and you know, having an air is kind of important. Um. So he's got some kids with his side, check eleanor.

But you know they're not legal kids. So eventually Napoleon is going to divorce Josephine, although he remains in love with her for the rest of his life. It's a complicated story, but he divorces her to marry a teenage girl named Mary Louise. She is eighteen, which is I gotta say, from by the standards of European royalty in the eighteen hundreds. He likes them old. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Like that is basically like ten years from death at this point, so you are that was legally

fifty five years old back then. So um. He marries Marie Louise, who is the daughter of the Emperor of Austria, to try to get himself a baby that it can be his heir. But in the meantime, you know, anything could happen. You've got it. He's constantly going to war and ships, so you've got to take actions to ensure that the burgeoning house of Bonaparte has an actual line

of secession. For reasons that makes sense to royalists, Napoleon Bonaparte decides the best thing he can do is Mary, Josephine's daughter, who a tens off to his younger brother Lewis, to connect the families by blood. Their children would be

bonapartes and thus eligible to inherit the empire now. And again that's actually shows kind of even though he does divorce her in this way, that's kind of sucked up that he loves Josephine because he's like, well, I'm going to make sure my air is a mix of her blood and my blood, even though we can't conceive a child together, which is fascinating. I actually can't really think of another case of something like that. It's very interesting story, Simp.

I mean, like he's the biggest jose Osophine simple of all time, you know, like he's, uh, he was a simple and we have all of his letters to prove it. And listen, I am also Simp. So I just want to say, uh, Simp, pride, and I don't think we should use it as a slurk about that. Hey, you know what, Matt, we could call him the simperer Napoleon. Oh,

here we go, all right, we got funds, all right. So, as with most royal marriages, no consideration was given as to whether or not Louis and Hortense actually wanted to be in a relationship that was not at all important to Napoleon Bonaparte um, I'm gonna quote now from Louis, Napoleon and the Second Empire, a book by J. M. Thompson, And this is the biography that I did not like as much. Quote. She was not in love with Louis and he did not want to marry, but they could

not withstand the Emperor's will. And we're made man and wife by the papal legate, Cardinal Caprara on January four, eighteen o two. On October ten, the same year, their first son was born, named Napoleon Charles. On October four a second son, named Napoleon Louis. By this time, everyone knew that the marriage was a failure. Lewis negrect, neglected his wife, disliked her girlish tastes, suspected her friendships, and spied on her at every turn. She pined for Paris

and Malmaison, and resented his puritanical discipline. So it's not a love marriage. It's not going great. She wants to have a life, and he is angry whenever she does anything but like sit like a nun in her house. Also, as a heads up, his first two kids are Napoleon Charles and uh Napoleon Lewis he is Louis Napoleon. Hey, everybody, Robert here. Uh sorry, I make a number of mistakes about royalty early on. I am trying to correct them.

Now he's not Louis Napoleon. He's Louis Bonaparte. Now keep that in mind, because I'm about to call him Louis Napoleon a bunch of times. It is very frustrating. But now the brother of Napoleon Bonaparte is Louis Bonaparte. His sons are Louis Napoleon and Napoleon Lewis, but they are also bona Parts. I'm sorry, this is very frustrating. I made some mistakes here. Um, their uncle is Napoleon Bonaparte. The names are going to be frustrating in the first

episode or so of this. Yeah, it's gonna be difficult to tell them all apart. Yeah, so Louis Napoleon again. The dad Napoleon Bonaparte's brother is also one of Napoleon's best generals, right, Like, this is not a case where he just like makes his brother in general and he's at the Napoleon's Louis Napoleon is a very capable field commander, and he runs his house like a household of soldiers. Nothing Hortense did was ever good enough for him. It was a sad marriage, and her only comfort was her

confusingly named sons, Napoleon Charles and Napoleon Lewis. Like all tales of European nobility, this again has about a hundred people with the same name, and we'll do the best here. So Napoleon Bonaparte is an interesting guy. He's he's a monster, and I mean he kills millions of people or gets them killed. But he also is like a weirdly understanding

dude in some ways. And he saw the way that his brother Lewis was acting in the marriage, and from a castle in Pole and where he was with the time, living with his mistress, he sends his brother a letter, quote, your quarrels with the queen are becoming private public property, if only you would keep for family life the fatherly and effeminate disposition you exhibit in the sphere of sphere of government, and apply to public affairs the severity that

you display at home. You jew your young wife like a regiment of soldiers. You have the best and worthiest wife in the world, and yet you are making her unhappy. Let her dance as much as she likes. She is just the age for it. Do you expect a wife of twenty who sees her life slipping away and dreams of all she is missing to live in a nunnery or a nursery with nothing to do but bathe her baby. Make Cortense happy. She is the mother of your children.

The only way to treat her with all The only way to treat her is with all possible trust and respect. It's a pity she is so virtuous. If you were married to a flirt, she would lead you by the nose. But she is proud to be your wife and is pained and repelled by the mere idea that you may be thinking poorly of her. That's like pretty good, actually right, And it's also coming from a place of like, do you know how lucky you are to have a lady who's not cheating on you all the time? Okay? And

you know how luck you are? Yea? I do? I do? It does kind of make me like him more to hear him be like, dude, let her dance. She's a kid, What do you what do he wants? Chill out? Stop being a dick. It is funny that Louis Napoleon is was was basically like, uh, you know, all she wants to do all day is dance and other girls stuff, And it's like, can we write a fucking horse, please please? It's interesting too. The Napoleon's are fat, the Bonta parts

are fascinating because Louis Napoleon is a dick. At this point, he's going to evolve into like the only correct person in the entire story. This Louis Napoleon, not his son, also Louis Napoleon. Ye, well, this is Louis Bonaparte. Sorry, not Louis Bonaparte. His son is Louis Napoleon. I hate, I hate the fucking names. Um. So shortly after sending this letter, uh, Louis Napoleon's sung young Napoleon lewis or

sorry Louis bonaparte son young Napoleon, Louis horrible. He gets he gets one of the infinite number of sicknesses that little kids get back then and he's he's soon dead as hell. Um very sad. Yeah, this tragedy shocks Louis Bonaparte into acting less like a piece of ship for a little while, like he tries to be chill with his wife because their kid just died. Um. He's doing

his best. He's not like a goblin. For his part, Napoleon Bonaparte is concerned about the fact that he's down in air right, but to his credit, he doesn't focus primarily on that. He focuses his attention on Hortense again. He really loves her like a daughter, um, and he writes to her that he's worried because, quote, you have lost interest in life and are indifferent to everything. So, which is also an understanding way to feel in that situation.

But it's also interesting that he recognizes that, Uh. This makes Charles Napoleon the heir to the empire, which is quite a lot of pressure. That pressure gets eased a little bit on April eight when Louis Bonaparte and Hortense have their third son, who they named Louis Napoleon Bonaparte. So we just lost Napoleon Lewis. Now we've got Louis Napoleon, who's the focus of the episode, son of Louis Bonaparte. So Louis Bonaparte is the King of Holland, brother of

Napoleon Bonaparte. His son's Charles Napoleon and Louis Napoleon are now the kids that I hate this too, and you're very frustrated would have learned from this by now, But I was just yeah, I was just reading that ten percent of the US Senate is now made up of John's unbelievable. Should be illegal, should be a crime, like did we not learn from Napoleon? Get a new name? What do you know? El? Should you know? What? Else?

Should be a crime? Allowing the great late to exist unmolested? Absolutely, that's the that's the real sedition Funck this January sixth ship We need to investigate sympathizers with the Great Lakes. Yeah, speaking of the Great Lakes, have you heard the the viral song about Michigan's governor Gretchen Whitmer called big Gretch? Because it's a vibe? Is it like a pro gretch song? Right? Like funk with us? We got big Gretch? It's really it made me as as a as a person with

relatives from Michigan. It made me laugh. It's only Michigan. Yeah, can we keep the Great Lakes in Michigan and just get rid of the ones that aren't in Michigan, which is is like Michigan, the one that's in Michigan. So you know, do you guys remember when we did de bathification in Iraq. That's what we need to do with the Great Lakes. Yeah, we need to de bath it, make it not a giant bath no more. I don't know what I'm saying. I'm losing my mind. I haven't

slept in eight days. Um, yeah, we should do that with the Lake Superior and all the lakes. Dude, destroy the Great Lakes are the real cabal. You know? I agree? Anyway? Do you hear that, Kanye, It's not the people who you think are. Yeah, let's go death on three. Let's go death con three on the Great Lakes. Death Gone three. Napoleon's gonna be like fucking Cyrus the Great, or Kanye is gonna be like Cyrus the Great ordering him in

to whip the lake. Yes, we need baby. I love a good Cyrus the Great reference on man, he was pretty good. He was pretty good. Here's some ads. We're back. I've just been ugling pictures of Cyrus the Great incredible cabs. Um, I have a time machine. I only used it to get photos of the calves of historical hotties. Um could have stopped nine eleven shows not to just let that one happen. I went back to nine just to be like,

I ain't stopping this. Yeah I didn't. I ain't nothing. Anyway, Let's talk about all of the different people named Louis Napoleon, his father, who was Louis Bonaparte, not Louis Napoleon, but who I will probably mistakenly call Louis Napoleon another couple of times in this story. Yeah, periodically is going to be a dick, but pretty much after this point he gets increasingly chill um. So you know, people grow over time.

The marriage, though, between Louis Bonaparte and Hortense, is unhappy enough that Louis asks his brother Napoleon Bonaparte for permission to have a divorce soon after the birth of Louis Napoleon,

the focus of our episode. But since Napoleon had just divorced Josephine so he could marry a teenager to have babies, felt that imperial prestige had taken enough of a hit from the divorce already, and so he told his brother no. So the earliest years of Louis Napoleon's life included frequent fights between his mother and father and long periods of separation where he generally spent time with his mom. He does not really have a relationship with his dad for

most of the first like fourteen years of his life. Um, why he's so tiny. It stunted his growth. It's stunted his growth. That's right, that's right, Dad's dad's are how you get tall? Um? Now, it is unlikely that he had much memory of the period in which his father was King of Holland because an eighteen ten, when he's two, Louis Bonaparte has a series of fights with his brother, and it all came down to Napoleon Bonaparte controlling nature.

He wanted his brothers to act as regents only if he do what they said, acting as his proxies, and Louis Bonaparte is a guy with some integrity. He's like, well, if I'm the king, then I should be like making my own decisions. And when he realizes that that's not okay, he's like, well, fuck it, I abdicate. I don't know what's the point of me being a kid if my stupid brother is just gonna tell me how to do kingship. Yeah, so he quits. Uh. He flees to Bohemia, leaving his

wife in charge of the kid. And now that his brother isn't king anymore, Napoleon doesn't care if they stay together, and he gives Hortense a pile of money to live peacefully in Paris with her sons his who are still his heirs. Right their kids are still his heirs to the throne. Um. Now, as is sometimes the case, things between Louis Bonaparte and Hortense get better after they split up. Um. They just are not people who should have ever been married.

Um Uh, And the two remain married but separated the rest of hortense Is life. This is probably best for everyone involved, but it means that a little Louis grows up his father is this distance seldom see scene figure. Um. He deeply admires his dad because his dad's a war hero and a former king, but he doesn't know him well. Um. And as Hortense had found, it was very difficult for him to be good enough for Louis Bonaparte. One biography writes that during this time he quote knew of his

father only as an enemy. Some sources have claim that Emperor Napoleon himself kind of sailed into the gap to act as the main male role model for Louis during this period. This is sort of true, but not in a way that means he was like there regularly. It still probably means the young Louis Lewis has like five

memories of ever meeting the guy. Biographer J. M. Thompson writes, quote, Louis Napoleon would be too young to remember more, perhaps than the impression of a sleek, tubby, talkative little man who took him on his knee, lifting him alarmingly by his head, a man with a menacing eye and a habit of shouting behind cloud closed doors at ministers or ambassadors.

It was the rule that Hortense and her children should dine once a week at the tuleries, where the Emperor would make them sit at the table and tell them stories from La Fontagne between conversations with the actors, architects, or officials who might have business to do with him. Now, La Fontagne, and that's who Napoleon Bonaparte, these kids who are his heirs, he's reading them stories from this French

author who writes fables. Right, La Fontagne is a French author who wrote Fables in the late sixteen hundreds, and I wanted to know, like, what kind of bedtime stories to Napoleon Bonaparte think we're like valuable to give his heirs, because you have to assume he was a pretty intentional guy, like he picked them for a reason. I found a write up by Russell Gannon that explains why Napoleon likely thought these stories in particular were good to raise his

young heirs with quote. For the most part, the discourse on authority communicated in the illustrated Fables portrays a kind of enlightened despotism that advocates centralized authority, but one that protects those who do not wield influence and affirms their right to respect grievance or express grievances, which is kind of the way the Napoleon runs things like, you're not it's not totalitarian. You're allowed to like make fun of him and stuff. It's just like liberal because he knows

it doesn't matter. He was an enlightened despot. That's exactly right. Yeah, He's like, listen, I have all the power, I have the best army in the world. You guys can talk a little bit of ship. Yeah, you can talk some ship. Yeah, that's fine. Um. As master of Europe, Napoleon is like traveling a lot. He spends less than a hundred and fifty days in Paris during the time that he was emperor, and Louis is a human being, so again, not around

a lot. By the time Louis was for Napoleon had gone off to fight in Russia, which goes as well, goes as well as fighting for Russia usually goes for everyone, including Russia. It is doesn't end well. Um, he loses his empire. Uh. This leads to a brief period where the Bonaparte family are still in position across Europe, but the Allies have like forced Napoleon into exile. Uh. They send troops into Paris, and oddly enough, this is not a bad memory for young Louis Napoleon. Um so Alexander

that it's the second to the third. He's the Alexander who's going to become Czar. He's he's he's Nikki's dad, right. Uh, so hey, Robert here I fucked up again? So again royalty. Very frustrating. Alexander the first was already Zar when he entered Paris in eighteen fourteen UM. He is going to be. He's the brother of Czar Nicholas the first, who is the father of Czar Alexander the second, who is the father of Nicholas the second, who is the nikki that

we covered in our four partner. He's the one with Rasputin and the getting murdered and all that stuff. Again royalty, very frustrating, very complicated, too many names that are the same. And he's not the czar yet, he's the Tsarevitch right, he's but he he winds up with his army in the French capital in eighteen fourteen UM, and he actually becomes really close with Hortense and Louis Napoleon and his

brother Napoleon Charles or whatever. Despite having watched like again Alexander helps wage one of those devastating wars in history against her father in law. But despite all this, he's extremely kind to Hortense and becomes a close friend, often showing up to check in on her. He just kind of recognizes well her, you know, her her her her dad and her h or sorry, her mom and herr. Her father in law basically have been like forced out. This is scary, you know, I'm gonna I'll check in

on her. She's a young mom and six. I just want to make sure you're doing okay. I've been killing all your people. Yeah, this is the guy who will have a who will who will force a train conductor to crash a train drunkenly and then blame it on the juice. So not shouldn't be mistaken about how quality a man this is. So he's like he's he's becomes

close to the family. Six year old Louis Napoleon is so grateful to the futures are for comforting his mother that, during one visit quote, the little fellow sidled up to him and quietly placed one of those oars. Upon one of these oars fingers a ring in which his prince, his uncle, Prince Eugene, the Viceroy of Italy, had given him.

The boy, and, being asked by his mother what he meant by this, said, I have only this ring, which my uncle gave me, but I have given it to the Emperor Alexander because he has been so kind to you, dear mama um, and Czar Alexander keeps the ring for the rest of his life. So that's cool. Yeah, he's a sweet kid. Like again, he's like six at this point, he hasn't done anything wrong. Um, this is just like

a guy who's nice to his mom in a difficult time. Now, if you know the Napoleon story, you know he's back from exile pretty quick. He just kind of sails to France. They send the army to stop and he's like, hey, army, you remember that, like we used to be cool when we did it again, and they're like, absolutely, Napoleon, let's do it. My favorite part about it is that like the Bourbons were back for like six months, they have like a couple of months. Yeah, and then people were

just like, oh, this fucking sucks. And Napoleon just walks over like can I be emperor again? And all the armies like yeah, well yeah, yeah he is hard to overstayd how popular Napoleon Bonaparte's very popular. Yeah, so for a little bit, the Bonapartes are the first family in Paris. Again, this does not last very long. Um. The last time Louis Napoleon will ever see his uncle is the night before Napoleon departs to march with his army for Waterloo.

As he says goodbye to his heir, Louis Napoleon tells him, tells Napoleon Bonaparte quote, Sire, I don't want you to go to the war. Those wicked allies will kill you. The emperor was standing next to his number one military commander, Marshal suit Sult. I don't know how to pronounce that fucking name. Napoleon could not bring himself to hug his heir, because you know, it's eighteen twelve, So he tells Sult

embraced the child, Marshall. He has a good heart. Perhaps one day he will be the hope of my race. WHOA I could not hug the child, but I will have my my chief military my child's hand. He's just weeping. Shake his hand. Don't wipe his tears. That's too kind. So after this, Napoleon marches off to Waterloo. Doesn't go well for him. He gets exiled for the final time. Somewhere in that period. Bill and Ted take him into the nineteen eighties, but I forget exactly when his family

never sees him again. Though. After this point, the Bonapartes are pariah's in Europe. Right they lose their kingdoms. They are four It is illegal to exist in France as a bonaparte. After this period they are banned from the country. Um. Some of that is because the Bourbon family takes over and they're like, we can't let these people ever exist in France again. And another part of it is that like all of Europe is frightened of Napoleon in a way that like there's really not a guy like that.

It's like if yeah, I don't know, I don't like, I don't know that there's ever been like Hitler's the closest. But it's kind of like we hate Hitler because he was just like this monstrous engine of evil. Napoleon is like just feared because of how he like he was just very competent, right, and he people were, yeah, he was doing all of the things that like really, uh like we're a threat to I think royal royalism in general. Like not only was he like had the best army

in the world, was super super popular. You know, he's like royals don't need to be popular, they just need to be more. He's popular and he's liberalizing, so he's doing everything right. It's like he represents probably the biggest threat to royalism in Europe. Uh, ever at this if you if you read the way they talked about him like the crown other crownheads of Europe. They talk about him like an alien or a plague, like a monster,

like like like something supernatural. That's that's the way. So anyway, they are on the run basically like his family is on the run in Europe for a while because nobody will fucking take them. Um, Louis is installed as king of France. Uh, I'm gonna veer between using Louis and Lewis an umber of times, as I'm going to mispronounce most of the French things in this episode. You can, you can deal with it. Look, if you want someone who can pronounce things in his competent, listen to Mike

Duncan exactly. I love Mike Duncan. I love Mike Duncan, but you can't pronounce thing. He tries real hard though he's better than me, better than most. Um, yeah, he tries. We are not going to try all that. Uh. So that's what this podcast is about, not your goddamn you're goddamn right, It is natally so. Uh. He agrees to preserve he had agreed when he had taken power the first time before Napoleon came back to preserve all of the liberties granted by the revolutionary Constitution. Um, he doesn't

do this when he comes back the second time. He cracks down a lot more that time, but there's there they're like, we're doing the white terror about that. He also he doesn't get to make it an absolute monarchy again, because like, the Republicans are still very powerful in France, and like, all right, well, if you which too far, we did murder all of you once, like this could happen again. Let's not be too fucking cocky, right, yeah it so Under Louis the eighteenth France returns to being

kind of a a mid level power in Europe. Right, They are certainly nowhere near the heights they had experienced on a Napoleon, which they don't love. Uh. He intervenes after a few years in a Spanish civil war, h taking Madrid from rebels who had deposed the king, but he removes his troops once the fighting is done, which kind of proves to the British that France is no longer like trying to take over Europe. Louis the Eighteenth dies in September eighteen twenty four, when Louis Napoleon is

sixteen years old. UM Now his father had finally become a more regular force in his life. Two years earlier, UM again, Louis Bonaparte, his chunk of the family, had spent the intervening years after Napoleon's defeat living kind of his nomads, sometimes hounded by the authorities. UM. It was not until eighteen seventeen that Hortense received Persian to settle

in Bavaria with her son. Soon after, she was allowed to set little in Switzerland to where she moved onto a fancy estate and her oldest son goes off to live with it. So Napoleon Charles goes off to live with Louis Bonaparte, but Prince Louis Napoleon, who is still technically Napoleon bonapartes air or second air after his older brother lives in Switzerland with his mom. Right, that's where he grows up. And he's yeah, I'm gonna quote now from the book The Shadow Emperor by Alan strass Schaum,

which is the book about Napoleon the third that I enjoyed. Quote, the past couple of years of continuous personal upheaval and uncertainly, certainty had taken a permanent toll on both Hortense and her son, Louis Napoleon. Always at the back of her mind was the anxiety that soldiers would once again appear on her doorstep with signed orders from the British Foreign Office and the other four members of the Allied Coalition to expel her and her young family from yet another country.

That young Prince Louis Napoleon had became as cautious and wary as his mother, As his mother of people and of the preferred friendship of newcomers, what's hardly surprising. For the first time in his life, the young nine year old Prince Louis Napoleon had a permanent roof over his head. In eighteen seventeen his first home in Augsburg, where he soon attended regular classes at the gymnasium or high school with other members of the aristocracy. Of the aristocracy and

how to bourgeoisie, he was cautiously happy. Gradually, the anxiety of the volcanic events of the last three years following the fall of Napoleon now eased his new daily route. His classes were in German, of course, and he quickly became fluent in that language, gradually coming to the point where he spoke French at home with a German accent, which remained with him for the rest of his life. And sorry, his older brother is sixteen. He's nine when

they get a permanent home. So it's worth noting that even at the worst points in their flight, the Bonapartes were never anything but very wealthy and comfortable. The other crowned heads of Europe may have hated and feared Napoleon, but they hated the idea that high royalty could ever become poor or destitute. Even more right, it's kind of more frightening for them to think that someone could fall that far. As a result, the in the parts keep

their fortunes and continue. They when I say they're like living as nomads, they're like traveling between mansions and estates and castles, right, often living at someone else's castle for a while, but still a castle. Um. Yeah, none of them are ever living in shacks and wearing no burlap sack for clothes, like they're doing rich people's ship. But they're like, you know, they don't have the deed to

the property. Maybe it's like when a billionaire goes to prison, and his prison is nicer than like anyone any of my l A U. S. D. Schools that I went to. That's that's that's the way. It's this nice. You guys have faster Internet than my high school. So as a result of all this, Louis Napoleon grows up fearing not the Allied nations who had broken his uncle, but his own father, right, And it's not the fear. He's not

afraid that his dad's going to hit him. His dad, as far as I know, is never physically abusive, and I don't even think he's mentally abusive really. He's instead just intensely constantly critical of everything his son tries to do. And normally I'd say that's not good. But his son is a giant ship heead Louis Napoleon is a is a huge ship head, so Louis Bonaparte is right to

be constantly critical with him. Biographer Alan strass Sham writes, quote, no one can begin to understand Napoleon the third without fully comprehending the significance of that negative father son relationship, leaving a much battered ego and sense of self esteem helplessly suppressed and humiliated by a twisted, unstable father. I give you my heartfelt blessings, his father wrote, following a

son's first communion in April ninth one. I pray that God gives you appear in grateful heart towards him, He who was author of all that is good, and he sheds his light on you, even that you may fulfill your duties to your country and your parents, and that you may understand the differences between right and wrong. This was probably the most benevolent letter his father ever wrote. It was to prove as rare as snows of the Sahara.

So A particularly fascinating ex ample of the relationship between these two guys comes in January of eighty nine, when, at age twenty one, Louis Napoleon who you know, he's He's He's done a mandatory period of service in the Swiss military at this point, he's going to become an officer there. Eventually he decides he might want to take up a military career as a more permanent thing. Now,

this is obviously the Bonaparte family business. His father's a very good general, his uncle's the best of all time. And you might think Louis Bonaparte would have approved his son joining the military, But Louis has just fought through the worst war maybe in human history up to that point, um,

and he's kind of been like traumatized by it. He's yeah, but yeah, So his son, Louis Napoleon wants to join the Russian army, and this has opened him because the czar, you know, it's close with his mom, right, this is a thing that he can work out. He's got the ring, He's like the ring. Yeah, I just want to serve.

At the moment, the Russians are kind of fighting one of their brutal, grinding wars against the Turks and the Balkans and the Black Sea area, and Louis Napoleon writes back or Louis Bonaparte writes back to Louis Napoleon that while fighting Muslim barbarians is an honorable task, it's not

honorable the way his son plans to do it. He writes, quote, to be share, nothing is finer than military glory, to know that everyone is talking about you, To command armies and to be in a position to change the destinies of people in nations. All of that, of course, is fine,

and attractive and cannot but excite a young gentleman's imagination. Unfortunately, one must also face a very real truth, one quite contrary to that noble view, and that is, at all, war, apart from that of legitimate self defense of one home, one's home and nation, is in fact nothing but the act of a barbarian, which is only distinguished from that

of savages and wild beasts by more satisfactory lies. Regarding its alleged necessity, His father continues that he should never forget quote one must only go to war and fight for his own country and for no others. Anyone who acts otherwise is just a mercenary acting on contrived motives, or else is simply bloody minded. Which is like the

most reasonable thing anyone's ever going to say to this kid. Yeah, it's like, uh, and bro, you of all the like countries to join, You're gonna join Russia to fight in the Balkans. It just seems like bray do to soldiers in Russia there, they're not even people. They just end up going, you know what they do in the Balkans, like just like it's nothing but like just to throw people at the other people. They literally are ammo people.

I like that, and I find interesting that because Louis Napoleon is like he starts as being like, hey, man, I have been a famous general in the command of the most famous military leader in history. I know. It's addictive. It's incredible to feel that kind of power and to feel like you're the center of the world's attention. But it's also evil. And at the end of the day, anyone who says that what we were doing, anyone who says that what anyone's doing in that is anything but

like butchery is is a liar. Um. That's it's kind of cool that he not only recognizes that but finds it so important to try to get this across to his son. Yeah. Yeah, and he doesn't, you know, in sort of a secure circuitest way where he's just like, no, don't you don't want to fight for some other country. You know, if you if you have to do barbarism, you gotta do it for for France. I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, anyway, um,

And Louis Napoleon he listens for now. He does not join the Russian army, but he's gonna be too much of a Bonaparte to stay away from the action in the pages of history for very long. So while he's muttering about his uncle's successor on the French throne, decides to set up a military adventure of his own. And this is I think Charles the tenth is the French king at this point he invades Algeria on the advice of his prime minister. Now look at a map of

Algeria in relation to France. This there's no reason for France. France is not threatened by Algeria. Right, This is not a This is not like a France and Germany going to war because they're afraid one is the kind of like this is pure colonial adventurism, right, Um. It is Algeria at this point is an Ottoman province and the Ottomans leave it be like it's part of the Ottoman Empire.

They don't govern it in a meaningful way. There's like a city there that they control in some trade routes, but mostly it's just people living in Algeria who are like, we're part of a country. What do you mean? Like, yeah, um, why why are you trying to uh set up all these d m vs everywhere? So the French people, um are yeah, this is a complicated thing in France, right, because there's still a lot of desire to be an imperial power like all these other countries they see around them.

But also this seems like an expensive in dangerous gamble um. And they're also the French people are kind of pissed at Charles the Tenth because he is kind of a revanchist. Right, he's on the side of the divine right of kings, folks.

One of the first things he does is he reduces the size of the eligible French elector at the number of French people who get to vote for parliament from five million men to just twenty five thousand, So he effectively turns it into only the very wealthiest people have any kind of a vote. And he's hoping the part of why he invades Algeria is he's hoping it's going to distract from this. But the ward does not does not go well. It turns into I mean, we all

know this, right, it's like an Afghanistan kind of situation. Um, it's it's it's the kind of thing that like U s citizens and Russian citizens now are very familiar with. Right. He invades the country and realizes this is going to be a continuing problem. Um, they take age. They literally stay there till the sixties. There they are, they are, they are more than a hundred years and they never have a great handle on the country. No, it never

goes well. But they're just like, I don't know, dude, one of them kings fucking you know, did it like in order to win on election or something to show you how bad the ship goes For Charles the tenth,

he declares victory. I think when his troops take out years on July five, and on August the second he abdicates and flees the country ahead of an angry mop So not a great time if you're if you if you're like watching videos ever of like people rioting in Paris and like beating the ship out of cops and being like, how did France get so good at rioting? They've been doing they have they have been doing it. They have kicked a lot of governments out of the country.

That is their thing. Like they got like just they have years and years of barricade building experience, centuries of institutional knowledge of how to funk up troops in the city rules. Although I think it was Louis uh Napoleon and the Napoleon the third who kind of sucked it up. He does, he does is part of the story. Yeah, So things being what they were, France gets a new king. This one is a member of the Orleans family or Leon or Leon, which means they are relatively related to

King Leopold, Leopold the second and both. Look, there's a lot of fact, a lot of names. I gotta keep track of, right to remember. I was like Belgian Belgium, and I was like, oh yeah, yeah, African Congo and ship. Yeah, Leopolds. He was named Louis or he is he is, He's King Louis Philippe. The king who takes over France is Louis Philippe related to King Leopold. So some more original names people. He does not end the occupation of Algeria.

The well to do Assles, who had urged the invasion, insisted that the only thing France could not do was retreat. Everyone else kind of assumed that eventually ship would get worked out. But a hundred years later, France is still fighting in Algeria, which goes to show you how why is that logic? Usually is the occupation would cost hundreds of thousands of people their lives and nearly destroy France

as a political entity. They basically have a revolution over this at one point um after, Like Louis, Napoleon obviously does not know any of that's going to happen. It's well in the future, and he is focused on Northern Italy. So northern Italy when Napoleon Bonaparte is running around gets liberated from Austrian domination, but it gets returned to Austrian domination by the Allies after Bonaparte loses, and a lot

of Italians are not happy with this. They there's a dream of making Italy be its own kind of independent political entity, which it had not been for quite a long time. Um So, some of these guys form an insurgent army in northern Italy called the Carbonari and Louis Napoleon and his older brother Napoleon Louis Uh both moved to Rome. God, I hate the names. I'm sorry so much. They probably got confused themselves, like which what am I am I? Or Tamara Leuis Napoleon is our guy his

older brothers Napoleon Lewis. They both moved to Rome and become active in the Carbonari cause their cell gets found out and busted. They're not great at being stealthy, right they are. They are the heirs to Napoleon Bonaparte. It's hard for them to just kind of move around and not attract attention. Again, everyone kind of keeps an eye on what Bonapartes are doing. Yeah, you're like, you know, you're wearing a full on like Napoleonic military guard right now.

It's like a secret sec It's like if a Hitler moved into your neighborhood, right like, obviously a hitler today. There's nothing, they're not responsible for anything, but you would keep an eye on that, you know who your local hitlers. Yeah, I know, you keep an eye on your local hitlers. I'm not I'm not going to not pay attention to what the hitlers are doing in Pari rule view. Just looked to the side of my eye, make sure they're not doing anything weird. Yeah, yeah, just just keep a

goddamn eye on them. Um So, anyway, the cell gets found out busted in the Napoleon's brother the Napoleon. The brothers Napoleon and their friends were forced out of Italy barely ahead of the Austrian secret police because nobody trusts the Bonapartes the entirety of his family, because a lot of his families moved to Italy at this point, including his mother and his uncle Jerome. They all left to flee as well. Because the Napoleon boys get caught trying

to overthrow the Austrian government. UM. So none of them are thrilled with this because they're all old. They don't want to deal with this ship. They don't want to overthrow the the Austrian regime in Italy. Um, their lives get up ended. Uh and Louis and his brother Napoleon Louis Lewis. Napoleon and Napoleon Lewis joined larger groups of Carbonari who are like trying to execute a march on Rome.

Basically when this purge had beends, a bunch of them arm up and they try to like do they're kind of before Mussolini trying to do the march on Rome kind of thing. And Louis Napoleon sends a letter back to his father saying, quote this, the enthusiasm one finds here is simply grand. The army of this army of patriots is now marching on Rome. Now Obviously, Louis Bonaparte does not approve of this. Again, He's like, don't fight anything but a defensive war and don't leave your country

to fight for somewhere else. That's his opinion. Um, he condemns the measure, and he is absolutely right. This is a terrible idea. So the Carbonari it doesn't. Things do not go well for them, And after all the fucking ship is done, Louis Napoleon and his brother Napoleon Lewis wind up in a city called four lea kind of hiding out there while it has a horrific measles epidemic, probably brought on in part by all of the people

moving around and you know, revolutionaries and ship. So his older brother gets sick on March eleven, eight thirty one, and is dead by March seventeen teen. He dies of measles after trying to free Italy from Austrian domination. This now makes Louis Napoleon technically the heir to Napoleon Bonaparte emperor.

Now this is obviously very sad for the whole Bonaparte family. Um, Louis's first grand attempt at being a hero has got has gotten his older brother killed, but it also leads him to return to French territory for the first time in his adult life because he and his mother have to flee the ship out of Italy, and despite the fact that King Louis Philippe has banned all bonapartes from France, he allows Louis Napoleon and his mother to stay basically

just kind of out of sympathy, like, well, your brother's dead, like you guys got kicked out of and like Louis Philippe is kind of sympathetic to the Italian national causes. Most French people are right because the Austrians are their big enemies. So he's like, you guys can crash it.

Just keep quiet, don't tell anybody that you're here, and I'm trying to right and briefly, Louis Napoleon is like overwhelmed with gratitude for this, and so he asks for permission to join the French military and the King is like, yeah, you can join the French military, but we kind of have an issue with bonapartes being in the French military, so you can do it as long as you don't use your real name, and he agrees to make him

account of something under a different name. But Louis Napoleon takes this as an insult, and he tells the king quote, I should prefer to be laid out with my brother in his coffin first, And he proceeds to like insult the king enough that he has to flee the country. Uh, such a bit, such a little It's just like no matter where he goes, He's like, I will flee. I don't give a funk. I'll say what. I don't give a ship BROI I got so many castles to crash in.

So he winds up in fucking London. Um. And for the next few years Louis bounces around London and Switzerland. He publishes a couple of books, one on the use of artillery and another on the history of his father's rule in France and his uncle's rule in Holland, or

his father's ruland Holland and his uncle's ruland France. Um. He sends his dad, Louis Bonaparte, copies of this book about like Louis and Napoleon Bonaparte, and his dad is furious about this writing quote at the political policies of the head of your family of a man such as the Emperor be superficially judged by a mere young man of twenty four. Who are you to fucking write about what I did? Fuck you kid, you don't know ship you're too young. Uh yeah, I love it. It's basically

very funny. It is. It's very funny. Um So Louis is heartbroken, but the Swiss Army promotes him to captain over his books about artillery. So maybe his dad was being a dick here, or maybe the Swiss Army doesn't know anything about artillery. You know who does know a lot about artillery? Oh? Is it the Blake Superrier. It's about to it's fucking about to, Matt. Hell yeah, let's

blow it up. We're back, and we're talking about the Davy Crockett, which was a handheld nuclear rocket that a guy could just shoot at a thing and it'll kill you. Right you shoot you shoot a David Crockett. You're probably not making it. I think the plan was for them to rear up in a motorcycle, fire it, and then fucking book it back as fast as possible. I had to be a really fast motorcycle. What a funny thing like an like when people are just like they're just

spitballing how nuclear war is gonna work? What do we do have guys and motorcycles and nuke in folks like, let's give it a shot, but a hat on top of it. It is so goddamn funny. Anyway, we should do that too. I don't know what's the smallest to the Great Lake, Sophie. You're the expert Erie. That's my aerie. Yeah, well that's how Well, that's how we'll drop Lake Erie on the Great because you're near you've lived in Michigan.

I've never lived there because I have family from Michigan. Okay, that's the same, Yeah, exactly, And it's and it's not like Erie. It's like anyway, Ontario, there's an Ontario lake. Lake Ontario is the smallest. There's too many seven square miles. Do you know that off the top of your head or did you just do a quick You'll never fucking no, Matt, because that was incredible. I'm gonna assume you know off the top of your head. Yeah, I'm that good. Isn't

that right? Snoop from the wire? There we go, she says. She might have said Europe. Anyways, back to the war and yeah anyway, um, yeah, back to the war in Europe. So things are you know rough for Lewis Napoleon. His dad has has has just rejected him, um you know. And in fact, his dad when his dad writes back that he doesn't like his kid's book, Louis Napoleon stops

responding or to his father's letters for six months. Um. He finally does reply to one in eighteen thirty five that says, Papa, I receive your harsh words so very often that I should be quite used to them by now. Regardless, every new reproach by you does indeed wound me, and as painfully as on the very first occasion. Again, maybe his dad's a dick for not praising the book or whatever. He probably should have encouraged that. But most of what his dad saying is like, don't just join the army

to go fucking fight in a war. It's bad. Like that's like, don't, don't don't do just do don't just like funk around with other people's lives and guns because it looks cool. It's it's like Dad like could tell that his son was like the biggest poser. Yeah, yeah, we're gonna have a problem with this kid. I should is a fucking poser, but like just all of our worst instincts, he thinks are cool and we've got he's got the Bonaparte blood, and boy were we can be problems.

I know it. I can admit that now. Yeah, we we have some issues and we really don't want this guy being encouraged. Let's just say that much so. In the summer of that year, Louis Napoleon meets a man who would set his life on a purposeful track. And this guy's name is Jean Gilbert Victor Fialen, better known as Gilbert Persigny. Can I just say brave new name?

Gilbert Persigny. Anyway, He's the son of a tax collector and a former in CEO in the French Army who had been forced out of the army because he was a Republican right uh. He'd taken to work as a journalist, where he had become kind of a propagandist for the Bonapartist cause. He befriends Louis largely because he's really good at at kissing Louis's ass and shut up when his social betters start talking. He basically only speaks up to tell Louis how cool the Bonapartes are and how they

definitely should become the emperors of France again. I love it. He's like the turtle from Entourage of like the Bonus. Yeah, and he but he also he kind of convinces Louis, Louis Napoleon that like the King of France is misruling the country and the French people are hungry for a lunapart to take power again. And he's not wrong and he is not gonna be wrong. So we will be talking about everything that happens after that in part do that's the French, right, That's how that's French assholes. What

a bunch of assholes. The word two means you. It's like, come on, it's nonsense, nonsense language. It just makes no sense. Isn't that right, Bunk, That's what French sounds like. Uh, you love to see somebody fucked up when they gave you that power, Matt, They did, and they fuck up. No, that's actually what Kanye was talking about when he said no one man should have all that power. Yes, he was talking about true people ship. I just love that.

It's just like he went full anti Semite and I'm like, oh boy, you know I gotta have him on the soundboard. It's like time it's been for for Kanye, for Elon Trump quite a month or two. Yeah, it's been an interesting time for neo fascists all around. Um yeah, it's gonna be interesting to see where the soul goes. Speaking of where the soul goes, you should go watch The Wire and then you should go watch The Wire and

then let out. Yeah, listen to my podcast pod yourself, The Wire, the Greatest The Wire, the only the Wire podcast ever. And um, I just had a bay and all I want is for you to give us five stars in a review and listen to it. Listen. If you thought Prince Charles in the latest season of The Crown was too hot, watch The Wire and give h Matt five stars. That's right, he's even more hot in the Wire. And he plays a Baltimore irishman with a

weird accent, very weird accent. Yeah, he should have just gone with It's me McNulty, isn't He's he's motherfucking playing Prince Charles in some shows. For joining the chat. We've had this conversation twice on this episode. We've also had this chat in the media group text when I said multiple articles being like, this is not right. He loved McNulty, great Y McNulty, Prince McNulty. I'm for it. I'm for it.

At first time I was against it because he's too hot, and then I watched and I was like, yeah, I like it. I can I can handle it. I do like that. They make sure to let you know that Prince Charles is much shorter than Diana. There's like they were like, no, no, no, we're not Hollywood. Iizing this this height change. Yes, we got to make him a

little lass Man. Yeah, yeah, Robert anything, anything you want to play at the alright, everybody, we are doing it behind the Bastard's live stream virtual with Robert myself, the one and only Robert Killjoy. This will be happening December eight. You can get your tickets at moment house, dot co, slash b t B and we will link at all the appropriate places. It'll be a hoot. We're going to do an episode. We're gonna do a Q and a uh.

Anything you'd like to add. Robert never know our so buy my book After the Revolution wherever the Funk you find books are on the a K Press website, but you know it's on everything. It's on all the book buying sites. Great, we'll be back, We sure will so. Gustopolies