How Chiropractic Medicine Started as a Ghost Religion

a sword. Yeah, it's an unnecessarily large Fiskers machete that's got a two handed grip, which I love. I love. I'm very excited to hit things with us. I can't. I didn't have, like we've had this discussion. We both have multiple machete You know, you don't have children or a wife. No, I have those things. Well that's true

that you know about any wives you know about? Uh, but I found it on Amazon and I was like, I don't have a reason to get this, and then I remembered you went to Syria, and I was like, you know what, that's noble as hell. Yeah, Well, noble is not the right way to say. Maybe I just did it to justify getting another machete. We didn't know it was coming. I didn't know it was coming. But that's purely noble like that, you're so humble. You're like, I just did it to give a machete. You didn't

know I was going to do that. I did not know it was going to do that. But now that I have it, the machete feels like a worthwhile prize for for this work, and I'm excited to find new things to hit with it. There's so many different things to do with it. There's it's there were several meetings. I think it went on designing those fiskers a lot. I'm interested in the holes in the back, which I think make it faster. Is that what it is? I

don't know. I suspect they make it faster. The grip is really I have large hands and I liked that the grip is the perfect length for both of them. On there, I'm excited up to Sophie provided me with a bag of chips to to cut open, which he threw at me. That was fun when I'm excited, though, I got this can of fabrieze Billy Wayne Davis Man Sophie. Sophie just put her head in her hands, covered her eyes,

very exasperated. I'm gonna smells good. Gain smells good, So I would be improving the room if I if I have you tossed this at me and hit it with a machete bat I think Sophie's flipping me off with let's do that at the end. Yeah, we should do that at the end of the gift to the podcast. We can knock it into the poison room. We can just open the door quickly knocked the fabris can into the poison room. That way, if it sprays everywhere, it doesn't render the room uninhabitable. We can lock it with

the poison. It's great. I think that's a plan, all right. Sophie seems to be on board. I think she's proud of me. Now. It's hard to tell which of her size means pride and which doesn't. Daniel's Daniels nodding at me with pride though he's happy. He thinks I made a good decision. Yeah. When it showed up, my wife was like, what why don't we You don't need it, it's a gift, and she goes, I don't know who

you're hanging out with it and just walked off. This is one of the most beautiful gifts I've ever seen. Billy Wayne, thank you. This is my new official podcasting machette. It's not as rusty as my old one, no, but it'll get rust on it. Yes, if I'm doing my job, I'll get some rust on this fucker handle It last a lot longer than that blaze. Well, we're talking about

the founder of chiropractic medicine today. So the first dude to be like, hey, honey, come walcome back, I think the first dude to be like, you're sick, let me walk on your back. Okay, yes, I got you. Now, Billy Wayne, what is the first word that comes to your mind when you hear the term chiropractor. We're on the script now, I mean scam. We're already in the right head space for this. So yeah, yeah, I'm gonna guess for most people it's probably like spine or back

or scam. Uh yeah, um. Some people might say medicine um, depending on whether or not they believe in in hiropracticum. I'm going to bet almost nobody's first word is religion. Well, I mean, okay, I'm already in it. I'm already in you're putting these two together. Go on, Well, today we're going to talk about how chiropractic medicine or whatever you wanna call it, started out as a religion, or, to be more accurate, a cult. So this is this is that story. Can I predict dude uses it to get

laid eventually? You know, I assume he did, but that was not the focus of the cult because usually from my experience, when a dude starts a cult, yeah, it's sex. This seems to have been. You know, it's the kind of guy we always talk about, Billy. This is a man who wanted very badly to be a doctor, but who never wanted to actually become a doctor, who just wanted to like no medicine and just assume that whatever

his gut told him was medicine. That's huh. It's it's a special type of man who does that is a special where like, did you could just go to school? I could just go to school four years and just be a shitty doctor. Yeah, now no, I will kill some people. I'm just going to figure it out, learn as I go. I love it. So this tale starts, as all such tales do, with a single beautiful grifter. Daniel David Palmer here to four known as D D. Palmer, He was born on March five and a now non

existent town near Toronto, Canada. At the time, it was known to most people as a way out west. Wow. Yeah, and then it disappeared. Yeah, it's just gone. Now nobody lives in that place anymore. It's just a field. Yeah, just like a field. That was town. Yeah, it was like a little town. And then everyone was like, living out here is kind of bullshit. Have you been, Tony? Have you been to Toronto? It's a city now. Everyone left. It's not just a dead horse in a pond. Yeah,

there's the circus came to town and then the town disappeared. Yeah, Toronto did start as a dead horse in a pond. Uh. That checks out. Yeah, that's my name had cannon for Toronto, so uh. D D. Palmer's family had come over to Canada from England during his grandfather's time. His father was a shoemaker, a grocer, a school director and a postmaster. Because back in the old days there were only about thirty people in the worldtown. Yeah, everybody had to wear a lot of hats. Um. Now, d we got one

pair of shoes. Busy one. He's busy being the grocery today, he's he's running the school tomorrow. He's back on shoe duty in three days. So he just hopped there. So. D. D. Palmer was the oldest of six children, three boys and three girls. From age four until age eleven, he attended a small rural school while his father tried and failed in multiple businesses. Um because again he wasn't actually good at most of the two he was good at shoes, couldn't do the right shoes. He was too busy figuring

out out of male stuff. Uh so yeah. From age four until age eleven, D. D. Palmer attended a small rural school, and by the time he was eleven, the family's financial situation was bad enough that he had to start working and so he had to stop going to school. So his dad made a deal with him. Can I just yeah, that's like that means like nothing, that means like you start owing people. You mean, like that's how

bad things were. We're like the oldest has to quit work and during those times like this is bad, right, what we're like I owe people. Now, yeah, I owe people to nothing. You're enough of a man at eleven, you gotta start bringing in some fucking cash. That's that's haven. Who Yeah, yeah, that's that's poor. Like putting your eleven year older work poor. Yeah. Uh. And now d D. Palmer, even though like he was, his family's super poor and he had to go to work, he still wanted to learn.

He was a big love loved learning. Uh, And so he made a deal with his dad. Uh, if he worked hours before and after the full time jewel that he had to work to keep the family fed, Uh, he could keep the money that he made working overtime and apply that money to buying school clothes and school books for himself so he could continue to learn. God, yeah that's hurt. Well, alright, son, forty hours a week, that's got to go to feeding the family. But if you work sixty you can buy school books. I mean,

what a weird way to have to go. And like, God, I'm gonna have to negotiate so I can keep learning. Yeah, I know people with versions of that story that started like age eighteen or nineteen. I don't know anybody with that story starting If I don't know more than this. I'm gonna have to keep doing this. Yeah, that's pretty at yourself. I do. I do think there's a little bit of this in there where he's just like sees his dad's life and it's like, I don't want to

be a postmaster. I don't want to do that when I'm I don't want to be working his dead end job. When I'm fifteen. Your life's over at that point. Three kids by then, three quarters of your life is over. Town won't be around then. So Palmer worked beyond full time for most of his childhood and was able to slowly afford to finish his education, but age twenty one,

he had the nineteenth century equivalent of an education. Decades later, D. D. Palmer would write this in his autobiography about his upbringing, quote, my mother was one of a pair of twins, one of which died, the one which lived only weighed one and a half pounds when a baby I was cradled, but in a piece of him locked bark. My mother was as full of superstition as an egg is full of meat. But my father was disposed to reason on the subjects pertaining to life. It's like, yeah, he opens

his autobiography. There's a lot. There's a lot to unpack there, mainly the expression as an egg is full of That's where I was like, I didn't know where to start or begin, but that's where that the look on my face was at. I was like, what kind of eggs are this? Where'd you get those eggs? I imagine this whole back story for him, where like his dad couldn't afford eggs, so they were like just eating like road kill and must grats, And he was lying to his

kids and being like, what's this gross smelling meat? That's an egg. It's an egg. That's what they would like, leave the shell, you know, meat eggs, And what was the doctor talking about? Also, cradling a baby in a piece of hemlock bark seems like a bad idea, Like all the things he he just sounds like like a folks he got got hit on the head, where you like, don't listen to what he's saying. Just listen to the rhythm. It's more entertaining. Yeah, And I'll tell you there's some

head injuries in this guy's past. He doesn't write about him, but I can't imagine having this upbringing and not getting hit on the head a few times, all of them, and they're all like everyone we've talked about came from the middle of nowhere, which I do think there is something to that where they might be the smartest or the most ambitious in that area. So everyone just calls him doctor. Yeah, and they're like, I'm a doctor. It

was easier back then. It's like Granny from the Beverly hillbilities. I do feel like one of the great untold stories of history is how many great men of the past had diagnosed traumatic brain injuries. Like Andrew Jackson. You hear about sometimes he just beat people half to death. It's like, yeah, you just shoot people in the streets in Nashville. They're like, what was that? That was the That was the governor.

He probably had brain damage and an inability to control his temper, but he made it work for You can make random violence work for you if you do it, if it's not as random as people think it is. Yes, or it's like I've said that too before. Is like a lot of the most successful people, male or female, make their mental illness really work for them. Well, that's

the key. That's the key is finding a way to make your mental illness make you money, which is the subject of my new health book, Think and Grow Sick. Read between the Lines mental health book. You get it. Yeah, just just find a way, just find a way to make a gel with capitalism. That's all it's about. That's all it's about. Yeah, that's what that's that's the only difference between a alcoholic and an alcoholic is one of them is functional in our economy. Yeah, an alcohol So

all right, back to d D. Palmer. So d D went by Dan to most of his friends and family, but we're just going to call him d D. He grew up big and strong as a quote husky country boy who was widely liked. He had an inquisitive mind, but was particularly interested in anatomy. In the rare hours of free time he got outside of work in school, Dan would collect the bones of animals, which, okay, yeah,

it's one of those things. I love collecting bones myself, But I'm not going to pretend it's not a red flag. It's yeah, it's a red flag, like having a lot of machetes. Well, yeah, there's yes, it is unnecessary red flag, but it's let's keep an eye on him. Yeah, yeah, I mean, my house is full of dead animals and and machetes. And if that makes people want to keep an eye on me, that's not a bad from Texas.

That doesn't No bells are ringing for me at that He's he's got a lot of knives and dead animals in Austright, Yeah, it is. It does kind of depend on what region you come from. If I were to hear somebody from let's say Boston say that, that would worry me more. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, where'd you get that white tail? Okay? So the US Civil War was disastrous for the Canadian economy, largely because the nation's labor

market became flooded with Americans fleeing the draft. By the time Daniel was in his early twenties, he and his brother Thomas were forced to head south to the United States in order to seek work. They managed to borrow two dollars from their friends, which at the time was enough to strike out and start a new life. What a day that was, Yeah, or that's what they thought. Yeah, that's what they thought. Well it works out for him. Well,

I don't know about his friend. He might have died on the fucking ditch somewhere but it works out for d D. Palmer. So on April third's got four dollars. Uh. On April third, eighteen sixty five, they walked eighteen not miles to the town of Whitby in the United States. Somehow they wound up in Detroit a couple of months later, after a winding journey that involved sleeping on grain sacks

on a pier and probably hitching lots of rides on trains. Yeah, we're imagining like a traditional nineteenth century hobo journey here. So Dan and his brother explored a number of jobs, but the line of work that dee De found most appealing was, of course, medicine. Specifically, he became a magnetic healer. Cool. Yeah, me too, Yeah, he thinks, so Billy, Yes, you feel better, right,

it's the magnets. It's the magnet. Get out here. Magnets has been a popular medical treatment for all sorts of ailments for thousands of years, going back to the beginning of civilization. It's still selling the golfers, They still sell to everybody. You get a bracelet, Yes, these magnets will cure your fucking emphysema. Yeah, you got tennis elbow magnets with copper with you gotta have the copper without the copper. I've got a new magnetic copper machete, Billy Way, and

I want to start selling it. Cure's youre arthritis? That's from a new book, Machete Your Way to Better Health? Did you get arthritis cutting through the jungle? Do I have a machete for you? You didn't get one of the arthritis here and machetes not. Keep gesturing with this machete, by the way, Billy. It is powerful, feels good. It is how you doing, Sophie, get people's attention. You love this machete as much as I do. And I hang

it above the door. You have you swung it? Oh you gotta swing the machete so you can't judge it. But because here, I'll throw this bottle of water at it, and you you hit it like a baseball bat. Okay, Oh wow, you're mad me nervous? Yeah, yeah, it's like, yeah, you want to get some Actually, I'm gonna throw this this highlighter pen at you'll feel better to hit. Okay,

we do. I'm gonna overhand it. Oh come on, Sophie, all right, bad, that's not how you would hit a baseball, all right, that's gonna make incredible audio for the podcast. And I'm just gonna keep throwing things in Sophie. She's pacifist. She can't do is going to make a good powerful swings that everywhere he goes. And she took it away. There's throat lozenges all over the floor, sackle losenges, throwing lozenges. Now, are you still anti? I mean, I like it. It's great.

I don't know if Roberts should have free reign. I think I'm looking forward to hitting this for breeze can into the poison room. I'm not gonna lie. I'm gonna watch it from a safe distance. So uh. Magnets have been a popular treatment for all kinds of ailments for thousands of years, going back to the beginning of civilization itself. People have always been aware that certain minerals have magnetic properties, and the idea of sticking them on sick people to

alleviate symptoms just sort of came naturally to folks. By six hundred, the idea that magnets might have some sort of serious medical benefit had been thoroughly debunked by a man named William Gilbert. Gilbert published a book De Magnete in which he carried out comprehensive experiments to test popular health claims about magnets and proved that they had zero validity. This is a six D sixteen hundreds. This guy, William Gilbert's like, let's test to see if everyone's using magnets

for pain. Let's test them. Nope, they don't do anything. So like five five years ago, yeah, humans are like, this doesn't stop it. Well we're still like. One smart human was like, this doesn't stop. It's true. No one listened to him, and then capitalism is like, hey, don't listen. It keeps selling magnets. People want to hit their golf ball longer. Yeah. Proof never convinced anyone to not take

snake away. Yeah, it's like the fact that we knew five hundred years ago that magnets didn't do shit, had meant nothing. They can't hurt me, though, so yeah, maybe they'll cure my arthritis. Have you seen no cool this bracelet looks? Look it turned my my skins green. Final one thing about medicine is that the best medicine comes as a bracelet, and I buy it it Dicks sportings. Look, man, I had a doctor named Richard wants Dick sporting goods.

Same thing, same thing. Yeah, the the weights gesture because they're equivalent, because that's a logical stamp. According to the Skeptical Inquiry, writing on the subject of magnetic healing quote in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, Franz Mesmer dramatically increased the popularity of magnetic healing with his animal magnetism theory. Mesmer thought that animal magnetism was a unique force of

nature that flowed like a fluid through living things. He also thought he could manipulate it through a combination of hypnotism and laying on of hands. After a high profile debunking by a commission led by Benjamin Franklin, however, Mesmer's fame faded and he died poor and forgotten. Turns out he just into based reality. He's just he's just sucking animals.

I'm gonna go drink bigger and being Franklin. Yeah. But unfortunately, like other debunkers, people didn't really listen to Ben Franklin either, because Mesmer has continued to maintain a following even after his death. Yeah, yeah, people, that's where Mesmerism comes from. Mesmerizing, that's where that works. Yeah. He was like one of the big popularizers of hypnotism and ship. He's just charismatic. Yeah,

And one of his big followers was D. D. Palmer. Now, Palmer was not at all convinced by the debunkings carried out by men like Franklin. For nine years, he used magnets to treat, or rather to fail to treat, all the sundary ailments of his fellow man. As a charismatic guy, his work attracted attention. He received negative write ups in

local newspapers, like this article in the Davenport Leader. Dr Palmer, a crank on magnetism, has a crazy notion that he can cure the sick and crippled by his magnetic hands. His victims are the weak, willed, ignorant, and superstitious, those foolish people who have been sick for years and have become tired of the regular physician and what helped by a shortcut method. While many of all educated medical profession idle,

the above nave has all he can do. Six years ago, he commits business in the Ryan Block in three rooms. He has certainly profited by the ignorance of his victims for his business has increased so that he now uses forty two rooms, which are finally furnished. He did by steam and lighted by forty electric lights. His laundry work and cooking are done by electricity, and the no on ones say that his tears are also made by it.

He exerts a wonderful magnetic power over his patients, making many of them believe that they are will So Palmer is doing great. Well, even this guy isn't he's not a great writer because he first of all, he calls him doctor and then he calls him a crank in the same sentence. Well you got then he uses he says he has a magnetic power over the people, just like you're trying to debunk the magnet thing, but you're also saying like he does have a power. So dummies

are like, well you said he had a power. I'd be willing to bet some people did make that mistake. Since it's the late eighteen hundreds, I'll give him a little bit of credit on the calling him a doctor thing, because pretty much everyone's a doctor or a colonel in the late eighteen Like you can't you can't like it

didn't mean the same thing it does. Now, there weren't like licensing requirements in a lot of the country, so I get calling him a doctor like it's one of those things where and this is the trouble about writing about medical crank in the late eighteen hundreds, where it's like it's hard to call someone a fake doctor because even the real doctors are, like, the problem is not that he needs magnets. The problems the guy that's got too much blood and he needs some heroin. He needs

some heroin and less blood. Yeah, you're exactly right. Well that's how I call all my friends. Reverend Yeah, yeah, that's yeah, it's pretty easy. I can't wait to get that reverend doctor course with you, Billy. I'm excited. We're gonna have an audition tomorrow for the commercial feeds. So many bleached to so many poor people. I'm thinking that commercial tomorrow. We're going down there, We're going down So.

Dr Palmer's time using magnets to cure people would later prove to be critical to his career in inventing chiropractic medicine. He wrote later in his autobiography quote, during this period, much of that which was necessary to complete the science was worked out. I discovered that many diseases were associated with derangements of the stomach, kidneys, and other organs. One question was always uppermost in my mind in my search

for the cause of the disease. I desired to know why one person was ailing and his associate eating at the same table, working in the same shop, at the same bench was not Why what difference was there in the two persons that caused one to have pneumonia, qatara, typhoid or rheumatism while his partner similarly situated escaped Why This question had worried thousands for centuries and was answered in September. Yeah, he found the answer on one day,

on one day. You're curious about what I would write that down if you got the answer. Yeah, you might want to take notes on this part here. It's pretty important important. But what day was it? Actually? Oh, ships, I guess it's he's not lying. Oh wait, no, no, sorry, that was the date of something else. It was in September eight, though he's not lying. He's got the date

down there something. So the story about how he figured out the cause of all human ailments and gave birth to chiropractic is the story of what happened on that September day in so Dr D. D. Palmer was working late in his office practicing mesmerism and trying to advance his understanding of channeling the electrical energy of the human body from magical purposes. And as he was leaving for the night after long day of this, how do you know you're done? Yeah? When did you reach the end

of that? Figured as much as I can today? Well, people are still dying. I ain't figured it out. So as he was leaving for the night, he ran into the building's janitor, a man named Harvey Lillard. Now Mr Lillard was deaf, and once Dan Palmer realized that this guy was deaf, he decided that it was his duty to cure Mr. Lillard. But he's he is that guy, isn't he? How you doing? Oh? You deaf? I'm gonna

fix the that I found you. Now. There are a couple of versions of this story because it's a lie, the most because I remember how it happened, because this never happened. And we're gonna go into the most detailed version of the story. But first, you know, we're gonna go into right now, some ads, some products, some products, and the first product I'd like to plug before we

break for ads is Fiskers brand unnecessarily large machetees. If you want a machete that's larger than you probably have a use for, but will feel great to hit things with two handed. I mean, just so good you guys, like one day delivery one of my best Really, that's the funniest part about it. That's amazing. It was I

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Not one this thing about everybody. It is awesome. I've changed my mind on a lot of things thanks to this machete. Here's some products services, We're back. Sophie has admitted that the machete was fun and that she now approves of me doing anything and everything with it. No, that's what I heard, But but enjoy I will. I'm very much looking forward to seeing what I really like. The handle is orange, you know, it just has like

its so you don't get shot other hunters. It's very aesthetically pleasing, and it's like just heavy enough where you feel powerful, but not too heavy where you feel weighted down. Yeah, you can swing it a bunch of times without getting tired. It does kind of look like something you would use to flip meat. It does look like you could you could flip with this. Yeah, it's really would work as a spatula because of the way that the blade is shaped.

But if we're being honest, if you use it as a whip and ship has went south, yeah, yeah, this would not be the first choice. You know what wouldn't be my first choice to do with this. We have these soundboards on the roof that are secured secure you can do it, And the one right above Sophie has a whole bunch of paper towel rolls on it. I bet if I cut that thing down, I could rain paper towels on you. Sophie. You have been but man,

that would be fun. That would probably get that would probably be crossing the line at the office actually cutting the soundboards off the walls. That would probably be going too far. Dan Old appreciate it. If I didn't, we will see what happens, because there's no guarantees. When you've got a Fiskers machete on the table, it's a gift that keeps on giving. It's the gift that keeps on giving until it takes. Let's talk about Dr Palmer, So we're talking about the day in September eight when he

discovered the solution to all human illnesses and ailments. He met his building's janitor and realized he was deaf and decided that he was going to cure him. So I'm gonna read a version of the story of how he did this that I found in a September nine issue of the Herald Journal, a local paper for Spartanburg, South Carolina. What Yeah, they were covering like the opening of a chiropractic college. Okay, yeah, which wrote a pretty good synthesis

of the different versions of the story that makes more sense. Yeah. Quote, the building's janitor, Harvey Lillard, was deaf and Palmer became curious about the cause. Stories are different on how Palmer was supposed to have discovered that by adjusting a bump on Lillard's neck, his deafness was cured. One story is that Lillard told Palmer he became deaf after bending over and hearing something crack in his neck, and that Palmer cured the deafness after pressing the bump on Lillard's neck

for three consecutive days. Lillard's daughter, Miss Valdinia Simmons, tells that while Palmer was joking with her father one day, he slapped the man on the back with a book, causing the first chiropractic adjustment. Palmer's own writings the chiropractics adjuster give this account quote an examination showed a vertebrae rack from its normal position, a reason that if the

vertebra was replaced, the man's hearing should be restored. He talked Lillard into allowing him to replace the vertebrae using the spinus process as a lever, and soon the man could hear as before. There was nothing crude about this adjustment, Palmer wrote, It was specific, so much so that no hiropractor has equalled it bullshit. Well, so, yeah, those are

the three versions of the story. One is that he like finds a lump on this guy's neck and like slowly adjusted for three days until he's not deaf, and he gets him on the back with a book. Yeah as a joke. Hey. And another is is that he gave him a comprehensive examination and then snapped his vertebra brack in the place and then he was like, oh, this vertebrate is connected to your hearing bone. Yeah. Yeah.

There's a couple of noteworthy things about this. One is that, according to Palmer's own writings, the first chiropractic adjustment all of history was the very best, which is not the way a science is. I don't think that's um. That is how they guy invented dynamite the first The first dynamite was real good dynamite. Same with the first cocaine. Um. The other is that, if you take Palmer's version of the story, chiropractic medicine started with a non consensual medical procedure.

Because while Palmer claimed to have had a conversation with this patient about what he wanted to do, the patient was deaf, and I don't think D. D. Palmer knew sign language. I don't even know if there were sign language round at that point. The eighteen. Was there sign language in Sophie. I'm sure there's a version. He doesn't write a damn thing about knowing sign language, so I'm gonna say either way, invented in Oh shit, alright. So he also seems like the kind of gather if he

knew how to do something, he'd let you know. Yet the exact wording is he talked Willard into allowsing him to like replace the verden broke, which is like you lay on the ground and get behind you. Yeah. I don't think informed consent if this was an actual procedure, I do not think informed consent was a part of it. Well, it's easy to sneak up on something too that when they came, especially a deaf man, poppy fucking back, do

whatever you want. Yeah, that's how you that's how you start a new medical discipline and pushing a deaf man from behind, you tackle the deaf guy until he can hear. That's what I did, and that's how I'm We all remember how Jonah Salt killed polio by abducting those kids. Yeah, that's part of Jonah Salt's back story. Don't look it up,

don't do not do not look at aricism. So once D. D. Palmer had stumbled onto this new method of healing, he began to work backwards, constructing a brand new theory of how to cure human illness. He started claiming that his research had let him to discover that every human body was filled with enough natural healing power to cure any

ailment afflicting it. Any illness or sickness affecting a single organ, limb, or region of the body then was caused by a blockage that stopped this healing energy from reaching its proper destination. Spinal misalignment was the cause of almost all such blockages, all of them. The rest of it has not I mean, I think clearly there was an exceptions, like, yeah, if you're shot or something, that's probably not due to a

spinal misalignment. You just got shot, but cancer, you got allergies yet, emphysema, you're blind, you're deaf, that's your fucking spine. Bro Oh yeah that makes sense. Yeah, it's all in the spine sickness. That is so. In his work with Lillard, Palmer claimed to have discovered that adjusting the spine properly could fix any health ailment. Thus was the new medical Science of Chiropractic Adjustment. Born on September that's the day. Sorry,

it's for a little disordered on this. Over the coming years, D. D. Palmer began teaching his techniques to students around the country. He established the Palmer College of Chiropractic in eighteen ninety seven out of Davenport, Iowa. The school's original name was Palmer's School and Cure, but that name was later changed because it sounds like a scam. Yeah yeah, yeah, Hey, people know your scams a scam. Yeah, you got to

change the name called a fucking college. Yeah soon, hundreds upon hundreds still haven't figured out that that's this, No, because this college is still in operation, well in any of them. Yeah, speaking in which my back's hurting. Yeah, I got an appointment with my chiropractor. He might here him deafness too. It's what it is. It's like, it's just releasing tension. Yes, some of some chiropractors are good at massage. We'll get into that a little later. We'll

get into the research later. Let's get ahead of ourselves. He sorry, yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry, yeah, thank you for apologizing. You're welcome, But really, this machette is all the apology you ever need to give me. That's so if he can I hit the fabris. Yet she's saying no, we should probably wait until the end anyway, because it might be a really bad idea. What's the scent? The scent on the fabris is gain. This is a great smell and detergent. It eliminates tough lingering owners. It might be

good in the poison room. It might clear the poison out of the poison room, might be a neutral room. Sophie looks convinced Billy Wayne's jacas their type. I think that's what we want to do, unlike a poison room. Soon hundreds upon hundreds of chiropractors were applying their trade from C to shining C. Now I wanted to provide everybody with a deep understanding of what kinds of things exactly. D. D. Palmer was claiming that chiropractic adjustment could do as he

refined his new science. So I found the blog of a popular chiropractic motivational speaker, Doctor Ward. Now, dr Ward seems to be a grifter, even within this field of grifters, Like this is a current guy. Yeah, he's a current guy. He's a motivational speaker who I think motivates chiropractors. Yeah, what what need? Yeah, that's a meta grift right there, Baby, I love that ship I found my mark. Uh yeah, So he compiled a list of ten things the founder

said about chiropractic medicine. Now, all of these ten things are direct quotes from various works published by D. D. Palmer. I'm going to read that whole list now, Billy, Okay, I'm I'm yeah. Let me know when you got questions. Quote number one. The basic principle and the principles of chiropractic which have been developed from it are not new. They were as old as the vertebra. I am not the first person to replace subluxated vertebra, for this art

has been practiced for thousands of years. Art art. Yeah. I I keep calling it a science because I don't know what else to call it, or like a branch of medicine. He seems to refer to it more as an art here, So maybe that's a mistake in my write up of it. I think modern chiropractors try to make it seem like a science. Would Yeah, it's it's better, Yeah, I would. Nobody's like I'm hurting real bad. Take me to the artist, Yes, exactly, Yeah, where's banks? Yours? Banks?

He could fix this ship. Number two, do not forget that chiropractors did not treat diseases. They had just causes, whether acquired, spontaneous or the result of accident. I mean, yeah that I think that's the root of all diseases, finding the cause. But it's the same. It's actually the same justification. If you remember from the bleached drink guy who was like, oh this won't uh that doesn't cure anything. It just fixes the causes of the sickness, which is okay,

m m. Yeah. Drugs are delusive. They do not adjust anything. Which are you're taking the wrong fucking drugs, buddy. I get adjusted all the damn but the ones I've taken adjusted some stuff that I don't have to take those drugs anymore. I was just in Mexico, where if you learn five or six at the right words, you can get almost anything out of a drug store, and I got some shit adjusted. Did it adjust itself back? Oh

not yet? Uh yeah. Pro tip for going to Mexico learn how to say, uh, my friend's dog is sick. I need ketamine. Great sentence, and they're like, and they just smile when you say that. Right, Well, it depends, yeah, yeah, it depends. Sometimes you gotta go to a couple of pharmacies all insane. You don't have a dog. The philosophy of chiropractic is founded upon the knowledge of the manner in which a vital functions are performed by innate in

health and disease. When controlling intelligence is able to transmit mental impulses to all parts of the body, free and unobstructed, we have normal action, which is health. You want to diagram that fucking said, like, look at that, Look at it's number four. Look at that fucking sentence to me and tell me that's not written by a fucking idiot,

and what cannot reread it? The philosophy the philosophy of chiropractic is founded upon the knowledge of the manner in which a vital functions are performed by a night In health and disease, When the controlling intelligence is able to transmit mental impulses to all parts of the body, free and unobstructed, we have normal action, which is health. I think that that's how Trump would just say. I think that's how he thinks he sounds when he talks. It's

someone with like an open head who's also eloquent. Yeah, I I love the idea that normal action is health, which I'm going to I actually just sent a bunch of emails out to my friends with multiple sclerosis and like major depressive disorders. Good news. The normal action of your body as health. So you're healthy. Yeah, you're healthy. Just you just gotta get your spine adjusted. That's why that autoimmune disease is fucking with your organs. Yeah, because

you're not at your back, you're not walking. You gotta pop that ship. Yeah, have you cracked your back? Chiropractors correct abnormalities of the intellect as well as those of the body. He was real focused on the idea that they called them imbeciles, which is like what we call mentally handicapped, what we used to call I don't know what the exactly like terms people use now, but like

people who had mental disorders, they just called imbeciles. And so he wrote a lot about how, oh no, if your kids an imbecile, you just gotta pop his back. Like that's the problem with babies when they're not thinking, right, is you gotta pop their backs. I'm gonna get back onto that a little. They're going to go back to babies.

Why do they always go to babies? There's if you if you want to practice medicine with no education or ability to do so, eventually you're gonna start doing it to babies because that's where that babies don't Babies can't tell you if it's not working. Fuck. You can pour bleach up a baby all day long, and adults eventually going to be like, you know what, I think I've had enough fucking bleach yea, And the baby is just babies are just gonna take that bleach all day long.

You can bleach a baby from here to Kingdom. Come. It's so messed up, m so messed up to look at a baby and not want to take care of it. Yea. It's part of me thinks maybe these people think they're taking care. Some of them do. Some of them are just narcissists. There's few ego where I want to say the baby, and then there's other ones whore like well. I think more than anything, we hope that they're humans in there, and it's a little like I I don't want to judge. I think I don't know. If I

honestly don't know, I DDE. Palmer is a good guy or a bad guy. I think he's probably a piece of ship. Um. I think he's probably a scammer. Medicine was primitive enough in this period where like, you can't totally blame someone for thinking crazy shit, but the ambition he has makes him like to keep going the way he does. Yeah, and it'll get crazier here. But let's

finish our little Many patients imagine that they have tried everything. True, they have used many remedies, but they have never had the cause of their infirmity adjusted, which is again, this is one of the key aspects of chiropractics that like, if you just get treated for your AIDS, that's not going to deal with it. You gotta pop them fucking vertebrate that's the cause or whatever aids in my vertebra. Yeah, you get your fucking smallpox starts in the vertebra. Man.

Life is but an express the expression of spirit through matter. To make life manifest requires the union of spirit and body. Wow. Yeah, okay, so we're into there. We can sell this in out. This is I mean, you chiropractice and I was gonna say, yes, that's they're already here. So he's saying it's quite a fucking chiropractic is founded upon different principles than those of medicine, which, yeah, I laid the foundation and built there on. Say that again,

of chiropractic, he called it a science. Okay, yeah, there we go. So, uh, if you're wondering what Palmer meant when he said that chiropractic was founded on different principles in medicine, well, for one thing, he meant ghosts. Yeah. Yeah, it's time for some fucking ghost spill away. Yeah, ghost to ghost and play. Now I'm already, I'm already. He's a bad persons. Play that machete. That's machete and the one wonderful fine sponsors who make this show possible. I'm

gonna hit this out too. In tin with machet, we're going to go to ads. Here we go, oh products, we're back in. Sophie and Billy Wayne are just talking about the fact that, uh, as Sophie noted, this is the first time we've talked about ghosts in a year and a half of the show. Be a year and a half, I think it's been closing in on a year and a half, and you think that more of these bastards would believe it goes, Yeah, you think at least more of them maybe, you know, it's also a

lot of it's kind of the bastards I've selected. Maybe I just haven't picked as many ghosts based drifters. That's true. They've got to be there. I think they're probably. I mean a lot of visions come from ghosts, a lot of visions. And that's the story we're about to talk about. Because I didn't see ghosts coming, and I don't ever see ghosts coming. Well, you do sometimes if you're looking, if you got the site, if you're but like the seventy five days, yeah, it's about right. That's in the ball.

But like the putting the spirit with medicine and popping your back, I do like that theory, which is like, yeah, I could probably like you said, it's a label ship. It's like, your energy is a lot. I gotta get your spirit aligned with your body, bra and your chakras. Your chakra has got to be straight, bra. Well, it's like I practice could only in yoga, and not as much as I used to, But I do like it. It's a lot of breathing is what it is, and

it's great. Oh, it's very important. Well, and then I've learned since practicing it. Like a lot of cult leaders have used it because it it's mind altering. Yes, it is, because of all the oxygen and stuff. So people think that these people have powers and they're like, oh, that's such a funny thing to do. Yeah, whenever somebody makes you feel something like that, maybe try having that experience without them around. Yes, test if their magic's first, exactly,

test it, test it. Yeah. It's like if you have a really good you just meet somebody right for the first time, and like the first time y'all hang out romantically, you take m dm A together. Maybe go take ecstasy with somebody you hate and see help profound that experiences before you decide that you're actually in love with that person. Just ye really, just don't take ecstasy with someone until you've been dating from one six months. Yeah, and you're in a fight. That's how you have That's how it

was invented. Yeah, was through psychologist psychiatrist. Well, that's that's that was the first use it took. It was kind of think it was invented by accident by something. That's what I means making ship like that's when they started applying it to ship. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah it was and it did work for a while. It's great. I feel great, it's great. You know what you still suck? Now, Man,

I don't like that thing you do. If therapists all over the country could just prescribe him being made to people, we wouldn't need fucking chiropractors. I'll tell you that in diplo would be way more popular, would be huge. Okay, so um yeah, let's talk about how ghosts helped invent chiropractic medicine. That's what I thought. That's why I came here to one ghost, just one, just one ghost. I don't want I don't want to make it sound silly by pretending that there's just like a bunch of ghosts

inventing chiropractic. There's a single ghost that invented chiropractic. He's like, don't maybe he sound like a dick. And it's the ghost of a dead doctor. Fuck yeah, I mean that means it's it's it's just that means it's credible. They just they put it in fifth. A dead doctor wouldn't lie. No, not a dead doctor that stuck around to pass this information along. Yeah, he'd been dead more than fifty years. Yes, yeah, it's a mission. So this doctor dead doctor, doctor Jim

Atkinson apparently came to D. D. Palmer during a seance. Uh. And that's where he claims he learned most of the rules of chiropractic medicine. Yeah, I'm gonna read an excerpt from his autobiography, which was published after his death in nineteen fourteen. I want to interrupt you real quick. Okay, if you would have if I was on like one of these shows where it was like you've never heard of this story, right, aversion and of how you think chiropractor was invented? Yeah, and I'm a comedian, so I

would come up with something stupid and outrageous. I would never would never say ghosts. Never could that pop in my head. No, this was one of those ones like I started looking into this and like it was already pretty baddy, like yeah, and then like fucking ghosts. It's that's like I can't. It's like it's like with Trump where you're like, we'll be funny about it. I can't. I can't be funnier than ghost invented medicine where you pop your back. Fuck. Yeah, I'm just gonna listen. I'm

just gonna listen. Yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna read that from his autobiography, quote the knowledge and philosophy given to me by Dr Jim Atkinson, who had again been dead by fifty years, an intelligent spiritual being, together with explanations of phenomena, principles resolved from causes, affects, powers, laws, and utility,

appeal to my reason. The method by which I obtained an explanation of certain physical phenomena from an intelligence in the spiritual world is no an in biblical language as inspiration and a great measure. The Chiropractor's Adjuster was written under such spiritual promptings. That's the book that was like the foundational text of chiropractic appealed to my reason. Yeah, appealed to my reason by talking to me as a ghost during a silence my reason. That ghost was pretty

fool as shit. I don't think I've ever heard somebody say, like, yeah, a ghost told me to do something, But that ghost was a fucking liar. I mean, it was like, come back with actual reasons. Ghosts and then I'll listen to you. I kind of want to see that movie where like a ghost starts trying to like warn somebody about like the future, or like just like like starts trying to lift but he's just dumb as ship. Like, it's just the ghost of a really dumb person. Nightwears. He's got

a great joke. People gotta drink more bleach. He's like, if I went back in time, I couldn't warn people or even explain how future is. Like, well, look at this phone. They're like, wow, how's it working. It's like ship, this is pretty cool? All right. It's like I would just be a guy with cool stuff. I know what I do. I'd go back to like nineteen ten, and I'd moved to Europe, and I'd create a cult all

about assassinating Archduke Franz Ferdinand. Oh, because then he'd never die. No, he would not know, he would not have died, and then maybe we could have stopped World War One and that would have prevented World War two. Probably, no, Hitler, Yeah, you've thought this. That trip to Mexico was worth it. It was I figured out how to save the world. I'm just got a crowdfund time machine now, and I think in order to make that time machine, I'm gonna

need to spend a lot more time researching. In Mexican pharmacy, I think one of mall in pharmacy you can pick up hydrocoda on their ghost doctor told me that. Yep. So, the founder of chiropractic medicine claimed that a great deal of the discipline was revealed to him by the ghost of a long dead doctor he contacted during a seance. That's the quick summary here. Now, the term chiropractic itself

literally means done by hand. Since the whole idea behind the discipline had come from an all knowing ghost, there was no research or study. Indeed, Palmer's early chiropractic medicine. Once he'd identified the cause of all human ailments, the subluxated bones, there was nothing else to do but teach people how to pop those bones back into place. Someone go chiropractically an orgasm that you actually can do. No,

I've done it, I don't know. So I should note here that subluxation, which is a term that you'll hear a lot from chiropractice today, is in fact a real thing. The actual medical meaning of the term is uh. It's basically term from what a joint in your body has popped partly out of its socket, and this can damage tissues around the socket, but it cannot, for example, cause deafness.

But chiropractice to this day claim they can fix and feel vertebral subluxations by hand, and that these subluxations cause roughly of the ailments suffered by people, depends on the chiropractic There's different kinds now, some of which reject a lot of this um, but like, yeah, that's the initial idea behind the science, is that like like or so percent of human ailments are caused by sublixations which you can just fix by feeling round. I think we would

have figured that out. Yeah, Yeah, it's not that hard. As chiropractic medicine and its founder aged it shifted and morphed. This was helped along by D. D. Palmer's son B. J. Palmer, who got involved in his father's work near the beginning of the movement. Like his dad, b J had worked as a mesmerist before getting into back medicine like my father and am also full of ship. He'd also worked for the circus. Yeah, he's an accomplished, accomplished it's a

whole family alive did the work. According to Science Based Medicine quote. He was reported to state, when I saw there was no use for a sympathetic nervous system, I threw it out and then just had to put something better in its place. So I discovered direct mental impulse. BJ also discovered a non existent duct of Palmer connecting the spleen to the stomach. In ven b J engineered a hostile take over his father's school to hiropractic. Yeah.

Different people will say that, like it was more amiable or that it was more ugly. Some people say he paid him two thousand dollars. Some people say he's stiffed him out of all the money. It's kind of unclear what happened. So usually then that means it's not what. It wasn't good. It wasn't good. It was very acrimonious. They didn't they didn't get along. Yeah. B J. Palmer set the tone that would later dominate the field of chiropractic.

He emphasized salesmanship, advertising, and practice building. He was highly critical of medicine, stating that m D stands for more death. He continuously sought new methods for increasing revenues, such as is neurocalcometer, which would pinpoint subluxations by measuring skin temperature, and he decreed that must be rented from him by other practitioners at exorbitant fees. Why is he so against

any actual medicine because it works? You can't keep bringing people in for the same problem if they're doing stuff that helps. I I see so. But to me, like even the scam would be like a smarter scam would be like you're applying both. Yeah, I think that's what they do now that that is what they do now a lot of them. Um. It's also part of the problem is that, like a real honest doctor, sometimes they're

just gonna tell you you can't do anything. Yeah, you got this problem and it sucks, and it's always gonna suck. Like maybe you're some mitigated but there's no cure in it. Like why am I sore every day night because you're been alive for forty Yeah, you've been alive too long. Man. Nobody's supposed to live more. Supposed to have your kid at nineteen and push him off into the world at two. I had one at twenty eight and then we just had one. But I do, I do think you should

to a uh so um. Under B J. Palmer's reign, chiropractic expanded, growing ever larger and sucking in ever more ambitious young doctors who felt the jabbing around someone's back was a hell of a lot easier than going to actual medical school. You have to remember a lot, You have to learn a long stuff, blood and ship. They want you to know it and not just remember it too. Yeah, they want you to actually know things, not just make up. Yep. It feels like that's the cancer part of the back

that needs fixing. Pop, you're done. That's what you get. You just get get good at making that sound. D. D. Palmer continued to act as a figurehead of the movement, and his writings remained influential, but b J ran the show from around nineteen o seven on forward. Now. From the beginning of the movement, chiropractors called themselves doctors, and in the eighteen nineties this was not much of an issue because the difference between doctors and doctors was pretty minimal.

In fact, since many legitimate licensed m d s back then fed their patients mercury and heroin, cough syrup. Many people would have been better off in the hands of a guy who was just going to give them a back massage. But this state of affairs did not persist. Along in the early part of the twentieth century, medicine began to professionalize quickly, spurred on by developments of things like vaccines and antibiotics. They clearly worked much better than

just pushing on somebody's vertebrae, as you might have expected. D. D. Palmer railed against many of these developments. He became an early anti vaccine advocate, writing that quote, it is the very height of absurdity to strive to protect any person from smallpox or any other malady by inoculating them with a filthy animal poison. No one will ever pollute the blood of any member of my family unless he cares to walk over my dead body to perform such an operation.

And we had to, yeah, and we had to. Thankfully the smallpox got him. His son B. J. Added in nineteen o nine, chira practice have found in every disease that is supposed to be contagious a cause in the spine, and the spinal column will find a subluxation that corresponds to every type of disease. If we had one cases of smallpox, I can prove to you aware and one you will find a subluxation, and you will find the

same condition in the other ninety nine. I just want to return his functions to normal, and you could do the same with the other ninety nine. Well, I mean it is this, it's that scam from where there's like a kernel of truth, where there's like the central nervous system is throughout the spine, so there's a lot of that. You can alleviate certain types of pain because the slip disc and things like that. You could let people feel better diseased. Ship is not it doesn't go no, No,

smallpox starts in the spine. I'm not even a doctor. But it's just like knowing it you don't know. I think it's so important. Yeah, but if you're gonna be a great grifter, the key is that you just pretend you know everything you don't know, and you don't listen

to anyone who says otherwise. It seems fun. It does seem fun, does it seems if you didn't love anyone, if you were either incapable of that or just like had got no point in your life where you're like, fuck it, Like if you ever see me hawk and brain pills. Yeah, that's what's happened is I've just given up on my fellow man and have decided to cash in. And I am proud to announce my new job as a columnist for the Daily Wire and I will have it.

So if you threw a pin at me ever expanding church somewhere in the South, oh man selling bleach magnets, just backrubs in Jesus. Yeah, you gotta say all that really is the king of all grifts. It well what you described when it hit me when you said the son came in and moved out to the father's Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's the same thing that happened. And learned how to produced television in college and then was dad and he was like, Dad, move, you're too old. I got this

and he's good at it. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna. Can't fall the guy on his grifting. He's exceptional. He is my favorit. If you don't know about Joel Alstein, he's the guy who had tens of thousands of square foot of immaculate space in the city of Houston when a huge chunk of that city flooded and many people were made refugees, and he made none of it open. They just got a new carpet. They just they had

just gotten. You don't want people on that carpet. And about people a church, like a big church, we're talking about the arena where the Houston Rockets used to play. Yeah, that s where I think Jesus would have done the same thing. That's yeah. We all remember in the Bible when he came upon some poor person with dirty feet and was like, I'm not gonna wash your feet there, gross as hell, And I got new carpet. I just thanks is new, Yeah, and I won't have to get

classic Jesus prosperity really hated dirty people from Jesus. Final one thing about Jesus, it's he did not like refugees. He's like, it looks like my dad wanted you to be poor. So the sermon on the mount that fuck you got mine. So as medicine grew more professional, more and more states began passing laws that created stricter requirements for licensure as a medical doctor. B J fought against these requirements politically wherever he could, but his father picked

a different tactic for protecting chiropracty from government meddling. He started pushing the claim that, rather than medical science, chiropractic was a religion and thus utterly immune from any state oversight. He's not dumb, He's not dumb. No, he's not done. That's a solid play. God. Yeah, I didn't realize it had started as a religion, ghost religion. Yeah, it's like, yeah, I'm not even mad at him. It's damn Yeah. You gotta respect a guy. You can zig and zag like,

that's mean. He has hurt and he's probably promised. He's hurting a lot of people. Yeah, and I was going to say, he's not really just popping their back, but he's giving people a false hope. That Yeah, that is damn it an zag zagging the tip of the hat. Yeah. The earliest evidence we have of the shift towards treating chiropractic as a religion is a letter that D. D. Palmer wrote to a colleague, P. W. Johnson in April

of nineteen eleven. I should note before reading this so it makes sense that D. D. Palmer frequently referred to himself and his writings as old Dad. So when you hear Old Dad, he's writing about him. O. L. D. Weird Old Dad. Well, he's from the north. Okay, okay,

yours of April at hand. It contains an interesting and financial question, one which I think Old Dad hold the key of Stop right now and read two sections in the this enclosed circular on pages two and eight, marked and see if you cannot grasp the way out that which I see we are coming to. I want you to study these two items marked. The same ideas are in my book, although not put out quite so plain

as found in these two sections. I occupy in chiropractic a similar position as did Miss Eddie and Christian science. Miss Eddie claimed to receive her ideas from the other world, and so do I. She founded there on a religion, and so may I. I am, all caps the only one in chiropractic who can do so. Ye. Old Dad always has something new to give to his followers. I have much written for another edition when this one is sold. It is all caps strange to me why every chiropractor

does not want a copy of my book. Now, when you refirst to miss Eddie, he's talking about Mary Eddie Baker, the founder of Christian Science, which is another religion that focuses around spiritual healing and refusal to accept basic medical help. So Dannie Palmer saying like, I'm just gonna do what that lady did, and it's like it's really transparent the way he writes it out too. Like he even says she claimed to receive her ideas from the other world.

I claim that too. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna claim that I have that claimed it as well. Also the idea that he's going to publish the new edition of the book making these claims when the last edition of his book on chiropractics sold out. But smart, Yeah, he's old dad is of folksy. That's a smart All these dudes are just brilliant marketers. Yeah. They call him Papa Cairo sometimes too from Egypt. Ye. So if you like that one.

Um d D would go on to write in this letter that rather than pushing for laws to specifically established chiropractic medicine as a legitimate branch of medicine, chiropractors to just seek exemption from any laws based on the fact that chiropractic is a religion quote exemption clauses instead of chiro laws by all means, and let that exemption be

the right to practice our religion. That's all caps. But we must have a religious head, one who was the founder, as did Christ Mohammed, Joseph Smith and Miss Eddie Martin Luther and other who have founded religions. I am the fountain head. I am the founder of chiropractic and its science and its art, in its philosophy, and in its religious phase. Now, if chiropractors desire to claim me as

their head, their leader, the way is clear. My writings have been gradually steering in that direction until now it is time to assume that we have the same right too as Christian scientists. I am the prophet. I am the prophet. I'm like Mohammed, but with popping backs, and I'm here to save the world. That's his Yeah, that's really what he's going for. I'm with you, head injuries. Yeah, I might have a factor. Although he's really pretty cunning about this. I kind of think that that letter proves

that he actually was seeing this pretty clear headed. Will that move to be like this is a religion, that's a religion. Medicines turning into a real thing. Now, religion yeah, where his kids whisper. You know when we always saw like like he made a scientology pivot like a century, well not a century, but like seventy years before Scientology did. But he recognized that real quick, very quickly, that like this is the future for American grifting. It's just calling

whatever crime you committed religion. So it's fine. Well, I think they've been doing that since the start. Yeah, but in a different way I think, or not at the level. Yeah, not not not quite like this. It's the ambition that sets you apart. Yeah, it's the ambition that sets you apart. Now. I found this note hosted on Cairo dot org, which

builds itself as a chiropractic research organization. They should key you went on the fact that modern day chiropractors do not exactly wholeheartedly reject the idea that their discipline, which is usually just built as another medical specialization, is actually a religion. In order to make this case authoritatively and establish a bright future for chiropractic with himself as spine cracking Jesus did, Palmer began to work on a book

he believed would be his masterpiece, The Chiropractor. He finished this work but before he could edit and publish it, he died, possibly because his son murdered him with a car. We don't actually know, yeah, yeah, the truth he remains heavily debated to this day. What is beyond debating is that d D and b J had not gotten along for years. The father never forgave this on for carrying out a hostile takeover of his chiropractic college. The son seems to have been a dick and maybe a sociopath

who was disliked by basically everybody. The b J murdered his dad. Side of the story starts with the annual parade of the Universal Chiropractors Association, held on August. We know that after the parade, d D. Palmer rapidly sickened and eventually died. Three different witnesses swore affidavit's that d D's illness was caused by his son striking him with a car. Probably knocked his back into lack given cancer. That would give you cancer. Yeah. One witness wrote this

in a court affidavit. I saw Mr b J. Palmer coming down the street in his automobile, hitting him d D and continuing to shove him towards the curving. If it appeared to me that Dr D D. Palmer was being hit as he was and as hard as he was by the automobile, he must have been thrown to the ground and run over. Dr D D. Palmer was very excited and stated as he started for his house, I'm going to call up the police and see if i can have protection, as I am afraid of my life.

So that's one of the witnesses saying that he was hit by a car. But of the three eyewitness account all are slightly different. Some say he was hitting the back, some say in the leg. And for what it's worth, R. C. Smith, the marshal of the parade, offered the most detailed recitation

of events. This recitation does not blame b J for the murder, and it instead makes it look like D. D. Palmer, which just a catankerous old asshole who insisted in marching at the head of the parade and probably kind of

walked himself to death. Yeah. Yeah. As I was lining up the marchers, I noticed Dr D D. Palmer was attempting to lead the parade and I went up to him and taking him by the arm, stopped him and attempted to lead up the streets, saying, this will be a long walk before we return, and you will be very tired, and it will be better for you to go up and get into one of the faculty autos and riot taking it easy and let us young fellows do the walking, or words of similar import This apparently

pleased him for the moment, but in an instant he broke loose from me and said, damn the faculty, I'm going to lead this parade. He became very abusive, and I let him over to the sidewalk from the center of the street. In a few minutes, he made another effort to lead the parade, but I made him desist, and as I stepped up to the band of musicians who start the parade, I noticed that Dr B G. Palmer's car was slipping out of line to the left

side of the street. When I again d D Palmer in the street lead of the procession, and I again ran up to him and taking him by the shoulders, started pushing him to the west side of the street and sidewalk, and as I looked over my shoulder, I discovered that B. J. Palmer's auto was coasting close to us, and I gave D. D. Palmer a shove and got him out of the way of the cars. It slipped by. It struck me with the fender before b J could stop.

The car did not touch, said D. D. Palmer, nor was it closer than four or five feet from him at any time while he was on the street. Governor

Morris was in the auto at the time that had happened. Again. D. D. Palmer hurried to the sidewalk and then entered the Argyle Flats, and the parade proceeded down Brady Street, and on several occasions D. D. Palmer attempted to get at the head of the marchers, but returned to the sidewalk whenever I hovered in sight, until we arrived at a near Fifth Street, when he led the parade for about half a block until I came towards him, and then went on the

sidewalk and did not attempt to lead again. At Third and Brady Streets, D. D. Palmer again went to the center of the streets and talked to the traffic officer, who told him to go onto the sidewalk and keep out of the street. I further swear that I invited Dr D D. Palmer several times to write in an auto, but he persistently refused. He seemed too obsessed to get to the front and lead the marchers. No other place in the parade would answer his ideas as to his place.

He was very abusive at the time. I escorted him away from the front of the band. I mean it sounds like, yeah, it checks out. That sounds like his ego the whole time he was he was just a dick. Yeah, And it sounds like, no, I'm the best, No, I have to be in charge of this, yes, which is like that. It sounds like he was an old man

who overstrained himself marching. And then some of his followers later blamed his son on the murder, although his son gave enough reason to be like, because he was a piece of ship and an asshole and clearly hit someone else with his car that day, So it's not like there's a good guy. People did get hit by a car at them. You hear that story, right, I mean, it sounds like everyone is probably telling the truth on some level. Yeah, his son was like I did hit him. Yeah.

It's like one of those stories when you hear about like two neo Nazi leaders of an organization, one claiming that like the other embezzled and the other claiming that the other embezzled from company funds. And it's like, yeah, he probably both did believe I believe you both scum. But you know who's not scumb Billy Wayne Davis. The advertisers who support this show could be with their dollars is the Koch Brothers. Well yeah, then they suck. Yeah,

they should probably get some spinal adjustments. Maybe. I don't know if they have it. I think they have a spine. It's the people they buy, you, don't They definitely have a spine and whatever will know. I was gonna say, from what I've read about them, they're they're very in your face about what they believe. I would I will, I will hit them on a number of things. But they are not spin more as like an alien not having an actual spine. Yeah, alien would be a good

not like. No, they're confident in Daniel's looking at us, wondering when this ad transition is actually going to turn into add time. Sorry, at some point, Nanial, at some point it now, what's back my I don't know why I'm opening it that way. We just went out for break for a minute, and I thought it was the second episode. We're just coming back from ads. I have decided what this machette looks like, Billy Wayne Davis? What

is it? If the Orcs and the Lord of the Rings had won the war and then modernized into a liberal democracy, this is what all of their swords would look like. Yeah, mass produced the mass produced, nice little orange grips. They're not trying to be all scary anymore. Stainless steel because it's easier to keep clean. Fisker sounds like an Orc word. Still looks kind of cool, yep, yea.

You know, if they had wiped out the Elves, there'd be a bunch of Orcs in five years who like all dressed up in cosplateis elves and like you know, like Orc burning Man. They'd have a lot of like elf religious wear and stuff that like they wouldn't know they were using it in an offensive way, but they'd mean, well, just having fun, just fun, just having fun. What I'm saying is that America is what happens when the Orcs win. I think that's it, just what happens when anyone wins,

and then they keep winning. Yeah, because of all the all the wedding guns. Yeah, it helps. So b J was never convicted of killing his father, and the preponderance of evidence seems to suggest that Deed Palmer's death had nothing to do with his son. It probably had more to do with bad salmon and his refusal to accept basic medical care. I was gonna guess that he probably

didn't take care of himself health wise. Yeah, he ate some food and he got an infection, and then he refused to take actual doctor's advice on what he should do. I'll just walk it off. I'll just give him a back popped. I mean, I'll pop my own back. Where's your chair? I just need a hard, firm chair, and

I won't fix this. From a paper published by the Institute of Chiropractic quote Luisa Lad, doctor of chiropractic, who acted as a nurse to d D stated that he had proper medical attention and had he followed the instructions of his doctors, he would be alive today. He disobeyed all directions, paid no attention to what they told him to do or not to do. That's good that he

died the way he lived. He died the way he lived, although because his doctor was a chiropractor, it's possible that their suggestions were as bad as what he would have done anyway, Oh for sure. But this was a real blind leading the blind sort of situation, literally and ironic, and he tried to save the blind. If they'd actually been blind, he could just be good with back of the work and just can you I mean, that is your fight when you're just teaching poor medicine and then

you are in the hands of the people you talked. Yeah, you think it's kind of perfect because, like, like when you said earlier, like there is like a a sign that he was self aware of his ship a little bit. So do you think when he's at the end, he's just like, talk them real medicine, son of it. This is really if I could admit what I've done, this

is a really funny thing. But yeah, I do hope he enjoyed the cosmic irony that situation he's got like fucking a col I or some ship like salmon ell I think is what I got written down is but he's like shifting himself to death in a bed and if everyone's talking about which Verdi read of pop like he's like, fuck, I did this. I did this. You know what? This one's on me. I believe I'm I'm okay with this. I did this. I died what doing what I loved, teaching people how not to be healthy.

Just the same emotion you have when you you drink yourself into the worst hangover you had. You just wake up and you're well, this is on me. It feels like I made this happen. No one, there's no guns last night. This was on me. Yeah. D. D. Palmer died on October twenty, nineteen thirteen. The next year, nineteen fourteen, his Manifesto was published. In it, he laid out his theory of innate intelligence. Did he call it a manifesto? No, he called it the Chiropractor. It WO had been too.

It was essentially a manifesto. You nailed it. I was just curious if he knew. No. Innate is embodied as a personified part of universal intelligence, therefore co eternal with the all creative force. This indwelling portion of the eternal is in our care for improvement. The intellectual expansion of the innate is proportion to the normal transmission of impulses over the nervous system. For this reason, the body function

should be kept in the condition of tone. Communication with the eternal spirit, the Creator is the goal of all religions cover some ground. God damn man, that's that's some impressive bullshitting on a level where lawyers are like, yeah, this is part of his effort to reclassify chiropractic as

a religion. So that's what he starts claiming, is that, like he starts with being like, no, there's just healing power built unto your body, and like you're back, being fucked up stops it from getting to the right places. And now he's saying like this healing power is like part of the innate intelligence that like you need to like free up to flow around your body and fix it.

This innate intelligent intelligence. But it's not that's part intelligence. God, it's not intelligent enough to pop your spine back into place. It needs some help, It needs some help. It's it's hindered intelligence. I think I'm understanding his theories right, but their nonsense. So that's what I was gonna say. There's no way to you can try to understand what he means. Daniel fell asleep. I'm casually rest of my eye as well. You guys are having this conversation, you heard him store right,

So absolutely did. Absolutely it's because of his third vertebrate punches punches back, and his narcolypsy. Just for that, Daniel. The next one we do is going to be about Holocaust doctors fall asleep on that. So yeah, he wrote a bunch of crazy stuff about universal intelligence and innate intelligence. I'll just read one other quote from the manifesto so you can get kind of an idea of like what it's like to read this thing. Let's say, where is this?

I'm gonna this is all one sentence, and of course it is. I believe that this intelligence is segmented into as many parts as there are individual expressions of life. Semi colon that spirit, whether considered as a whole or individually, is advancing upwards and onward towards perfection. Semi colon that in all animated nature, this intelligence capitalized the eye, and intelligence is expressed through the nervous system, which is the

means of communication to and from individualized spirit. Semi colon that the condition known as tone is the tension of in firmness. The renitzy, what the hell? The renitacy and elasticity of tissue in a state of health normal existence. That semi colon that the mental and physical condition known as disease is a disordered state because of an unusual

amount of tension above or below that of tone. Semi colon that normal and abnormal amounts of strain or laxity are due to the position of the osseous framework, the neuroskeleton, which not only serves as a protector to the nervous system, but also as a regulator of tension. Semi colon that universal intelligence, the spirit as a whole or in its segmented parts, is eternal in its existence. Semi colon that physiological disintegration and somatic death or changes of the material only.

Semi colon that the present and future makeup of individualized spirits to depend upon the cumulative mental function, which, like all other functions, is modified by the structural condition of the impulse transmitting nervous system. Semi colon that criminality is but the result of abnormal nervous tension. Semi colon that our individualized, segmented spiritual entities carry with them into the

future spiritual state. That that which has been mentally accumulated during our physical existence semi colon it spiritual existence like the physical is progressive. Semi colon. That a correct understanding of these principles and the practice of them can constitute the religion of chiropractic semi colon. That the existence and personal identity of individualized intelligence is continue after the change known as death, semi colon, That life in this world

and the next is continuous one of eternal progression. Period. Wow, that's that is the most semi colons I think I run into what he's done is he has That is how you transcribe someone someone's speech that's on cocaine. Yeah, it does sound like he's on blow right, And well, the semi colon is that, like, you know, I'm not

done talking yet. I'm not done talking. Like he's got the main thought and then like forty sub thoughts and like he has to address each of the sub thoughts, but like by the time he does, it's so disconnected by the main thought that you can't figure out what then. And then instead of letting other people talk, he's just

saying semicolon semicolons and putting his hand up. Yeah, oh man, because like while you're reading, because there's also a rhythm to what he's the way he's written it, which is interesting. I just noticed, Billy Wayne this this is groundbreaking. If you think about how a semi colon looks, it kind of looks like a nose because you've got the two holes. But then there's that line of cocaine trailing out on one of the nostrils. That's what the semi colon means.

It's subconscious, No, it is. Yeah, you're exactly just taking a sentence to go and then and then. That is exactly what it is. I'm not not talking. I'm not not talking. After his dad's death, b J. Palmer continued to develop this theory of innate intelligence. I'm going to quote now from a Huffington's Post article on the Man. According to be J. Palmer, chiropractic has no use for a quote deity to which we can direct instructions of how to run the universe, or a soul, to say,

from oven or from Hell. Asking do chiropractors prey in a book by that title, b J answered that no chiropractor would prey on his knees or in supplication to some invisible power, because innate intelligence within man is the all wise omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent Director General who asserts that

the only possible cause and cure are within man. See it is that thing of like I believe on some on some level of what he's saying, where you know, we're all in control of our decisions and we and the cause and solution of all human problems are held

within the human brain. Not in the way to which like you can just push someone's spine back in, but like you can ever, we could solve every illness if like people directed their intelligence long enough and unconsciously, you get to solve the energy problems, political problems that people just like got their ship together funk out. And maybe that's a religious belief in a way kind of in the same way that Star Trek the Next Generation is

a religious belief. It is. Yeah, but where he got where he loses me and they all lose me is like the general you're your own general, where it's like they immediately start pitching, yeah, her selling, where you're just like no, you can be like, hey, it's like the whole point of the Book of Judas, you know, they left that out because it was like supposedly it was just so much about this. What Jesus was about was just being like, no, no, you're your own God. You're

in control of who you are. No one else can control you. That's like, and this sygnostic ship you're popping out now. I mean, I don't know if I believe it or what, but if I've always found that theory of what that book is fascinating because they kept it out because it's teaching people to control their own thoughts and not listen be under control, So they wanted that

shift fun out of there. That makes sense. So that sounds like, yeah, there's a little bit of that in here, And I like, obviously he's not the only one preaching stuff like this. Like the nineteen twenties, there's a bunch of kind of esoteric religious traditions going around, some of which would turn into Nazis, some of which turned into run Hubbard like a lot of a lot of Yeah,

the rest just wound up in hot yoga. Now, despite all the work done by b J and his dad, the government did not buy the line that being a religion meant chiropractors got to call themselves doctors and practice as if they were M. D. S Throughout the first half of the twentieth century, more and more states instituted licensure requirements for chiropractors. Many of them were quite fair, simply requiring that chiropractors passed the same basic medical science

boards as medical doctors, which seems fair to me. You know, you're saying your doctors, all right, Well, you just gotta pass the same test. You know as much about the body as a doctor. You get very fair. That's how it worked for a while. Between nine and nineteen fifty eight, six percent of medical students successfully passed these basic board exams. Only of chiropractors could m m m m m. This created a massive problem for the discipline. They need to

unlock that in night intelligence. Yeah, exactly, you didn't pobbly spine enough for you would have passed that goddamn board test. Idiots. Now, this created a massive problem for chiropractic because it led to hundreds of un licensed chiropractors fleeing to states without licensure requirements, and the vast number of non doctor chiropractors practicing ghost written religious back medicine caused some people to

question whether or not chiropractic was even legitimate imagine. The solution that eventually evolved was the Doctor of Chiropractic degree for d C. Now, this is not an actual medical degree or even an actual doctorate. Instead, it's a four year degree which you can get it at chiropractic college.

It doesn't even require a bachelor's degree first. The Palmer College of Chiropractic in Iowa, which is the school that doctor d. D. Palmer established, will give you a d C for the low low price of thirty four thousand dollars a year. They accept a hundred of applicants, like every legitimate medical school. Thirty four grand. Hey, man, duke's gonna cost that much. Yeah, and you don't get to call yourself a doctor after four years a duke. But it's not as hard as I was, like, well, what

is the point? You know what percentage of the applicants duke accepts? Not not literally anyone with a pocketbook. No, that I do not. Wow. Now it's only fair that I note that modern day chiropractors are very much mixed

up about the ghostly origins of their trade. I found an article in the Journal of the Canadian Chiropractic Association by doctor of chiropractic Lawn Morgan discussing the problems the concept of innate intelligence causes for the field, Lawn writes, quote, today, innate intelligence remains an untestable enigma that isolates chiropractic and impedes its acceptance as a legitimate health science. The concept of anate is derived directly from the occult practices of

another era. It carries a high penalty and divisiveness and lack of logical coherence. So it would be unfair for me to state to pretend like a lot of chiropractors aren't like, we gotta stop with the magic. Yeah, that's

not gonna work. In twenty nineteen, however, a profession wide survey conducted in two thousand three called how Chiropractors Think in Practice showed that the majority of chiropractors still believe more or less Indeed, E Palmer's you of innate intelligence and of subluxations is the cause of much human disease. There is a subset and a growing subset of chiropractors who argued that they should just stick to treating back and spine problems. Yes, now, this is certainly more defensible

than using chiropractic treatments to say, cure deafness. But even that is kind of dumb, because there's another two thousand three study published in the Annals of Internal Medicine that evaluated studies from two thousand three on the efficacy of different treatments for back pain. They found that simple massage offered considerably more therapeutic benefits than the spinal manipulations favored by chiropractors. So even for back pain, it's not that great.

I played baseball for a couple of years at junior college and we had a trainer and the two years we had a different coach when I got there, but they're the guys the year ahead of us. They had a chiropract and they all love the chiropractor. And our trainer was like, you, guys, he just makes you feel good for like ten or fifteen minutes. He's like, he never fixed any of you. Yeah, And it was just

this constant battle between these nineteen year old dudes. You're like, no, he's better, he's a doctor, and they're just like, I'm eighteen. I'm gonna go with the guy that's been to school, you guys, And they're like, no, man, you don't know that chiropractor was great. Hey man, he's a four year doctor, just like Jesus, you guys. Almost as fast away of becoming a doctor is going to doctor reference school in Jamaica and porn bleach at people's butts or where was it.

It's prettier there. Haiti is Haiti yeah Haiti? Now uh he gets worse. See Indeed, Palmer's Opus the chiropractor he wrote several times about how supplexations and infants and small children were often the cause of lifelong health health problems and what he called imbecility. This has led many chiropractors to believe that children should be treated with spinal manipulation. Now I found a great science based medicine article that highlights how badly this can go. The title of the

article kind of says most of it. Chiropractical manipulation of the neck linked to stroke in six year old child. Fuck yeah, yeah. Now I'm not a medical doctor, Billy Wayne, but I don't think six year old's normally stroke out. Sixty year olds. Now we're getting to be expected, but not six. Now. This case started with a young boy presenting with symptoms of a sinus infection. Instead of driving

him to a real doctor. His grandfather took him to a chiropractor who fucked up his back so badly that it cost an embolism and a stroke in the six year old child, and chiropractors routinely work on even younger children. In a few seconds googling, I found a video of doctor of chiropractic Joshua Peter Smith of Peter Smith Family Chiropractic in Missouri. In the video, he adjust the spine of a twelve week old child. Now we're gonna, we're gonna,

we're gonna watch this bad mama jam. I'm not sure how much of it will watch, Billy, but you gotta see this guy listening. You'll have to hear this kid. So if you want to describe what you're watching in the video up until the kids starts, megan the noises the kid's gonna make. I think that will make for a solid podcasting experience. No, I'm not ready. He's got a little baby twelve weeks old as an again, it's

his is it his baby? Holding it up by one leg, upside down and just sort of bouncing the baby upside down being held by a single leg. Now he's holding it by two legs. Now he's holding it by wanted this since it doesn't just hold it upside down. He's trying to figure out where it has to be adjusted. And now he's manipulating the baby's spine. So a little Naomi here is a little over eleven weeks old, and

her spine is no different than anyone else's. So if her the tab bone of her neck is actually slid to the left, how I adjust her is a little different than anyone else. But the doctor, in grand scheme of things, I'm doing the exact same thing all who was pushing that bone right back to the middle, letting the body do whatever it needs to do, put it exactly where it needs to be. So it's a little it's a lot less forceful. It's very very gentle with her,

and you're gonna hear how gentle. It isn't a seen all this collogue issues go away, So where colleague is gonna go away? Don't do it. He's stupid. Fuck, it's just baby's thrashing. I don't stop. Yeah, it's probably enough. So it's pretty obvious to me, not being a doctor of chira practy, but being a person who's watched babies before that what he's doing to that baby isn't good. Well, no, I have a six month old. Like their body is

constantly forming and evolving every single day. So to go in there and be like, oh, this vertebrates a little loft, that's why he's colocky, Like, that's not how that works. Also to say that an eleven and a half week old baby's spy and it's the same as an adults, Like they don't have all their bones yet. I don't know when they get all their bones or wouldn't they come in, but I know they don't get their bones

top of their skull. Yeah, it's an infant fuck just like I mean, I think it's the dad and may watching that video is like like the get your hands off that baby really Like there was like a violent part of me that was like alarming where it's like stop doing what you're doing or I'm gonna have to kick you. Yeah yeah, like because he's down on the ground at one point, like I'm gonna kick you till you let at that baby that I don't want to do.

It's not okay, God, not okay. Now. The article that initially inspired this episode was a piece I found in a website it quite like called the Outline, titled chibropractors are Bullshit, It discusses a Charlatan named josh As and I'm gonna quote from that piece now. On his Facebook page, acts a self described board certified doctor of natural Medicine who earned his doctor and chiropractic from good old Palmer College of Chiropractice. As you which sunscreens are safe and

dispenses snack suggestions. Need a sweet snack that won't unravel your health goals? We have you covered, he writes, linking to a dark chocolate almond butter recipe that contains, by my estimate, more than nine calories depending on how much coconut sugar. The posts on access page run the gamut from minor bullshit like healthy recipes, to major bullshit like

the pernicious claims that you can reverse cavities. You can't and watch this guy giving mental advice, and that you can treat some painful and potentially dangerous bacterial infections like U t E s and staff with essential oils and anti viral herbs. Again, not so much. He also writes that living a life of purpose can lower dementia risk. Wouldn't that be nice? Well, it might not concern you that a physician with nearly two million followers on Facebook

is spending his time posting recipes for face wash. It should pique your curiosity. These telling people he's never met they should purchase his products to support any number of conditions, from leaky gut syndrome not real to aging his bone broth collagen formula now available in chocolate will set you back thirty seven dollars. That's a funny word. Support. It's

legal speak for this product is bullshit. Beyond his line of snake whils, it should absolutely scare you that Acts has written articles espousing his anti vaccine views while speaking glowingly of anti vax queen Jenny McCarthy's pediatrician. Oh everything you said, Yeah, it's real bad, right, It's it's like you like, there's so many I can't even it's just levels of bullshit. I I try to picture what they do every day when they wake up, you know, like

you and I knew what we're gonna do today. Yeah, we're gonna talk about chiropractic. And I didn't know it was gonna be swinging around and that that has been a welcome surprise. I knew that was gonna happen, but we knew what we're gonna be. There's like substance to what we're doing. Yeah, there's is like, how can I come up with more horseship? More horseship for money? But where does it? Because they've made so much theoretically, theoretically,

where does it? It's not about money, and that that dr Ax guy seems like a grifter to me. I don't know this Dr Peter Smith, the guy who's adjusting the baby. You look at his face in there, like, is he just a fucking sociopath or is he someone who really thinks he's a doctor? Well, I think it's it's the same, like because it's based in religion. Yeah, religious, it's susceptible to people who think that everything they do is for the Lord and for this, you know, it's

the same Westboro for innate intelligence. Those people think they're doing everything for the right reasons, like the God hates fags people. Yeah, how the human brain is fascinated. It's a playground, Yeah, just the playground. Now. That Outline article also covers the sad story if Playboy model Katie May in two thousand eighteen, she died of a stroke after visiting her chiropractor. A two thousand seven study established, yeah,

well that's actually that would have been a lot healthier. Yeah, yeah, because two seven study established a strong link between chiropractic manipulation and the risk of strokes caused by what's called vertebral artery, the section which would happen to that little kid like pop someone's back forcefully enough that it severs an artery, then they stroke out. Now, it's hard to say what the annual death told you to chiropractic medicine

actually is. I found a two thousand ten study in the National Institutes of Health studying all the deaths they could find that immediately followed spinal manipulation by a chiropractor. The abstract notes under results twenty six fatalities were published in the medical literature, and many more might have remained unpublished.

The alleged pathology usually was a vascular accident involving the dissection of a vertebral artery, which is again the most common fatal side effect of chiropractic The article's conclusion states, numerous deaths have occurred after chiropractic manipulations the risks of this treatment by far outweigh its benefit. Are there any good reasons to do? It? Makes me feel good? I mean I got to there's a tie lady that walks

one in its frog hair. Yeah, now, I think a lot of it is that a lot of the chiropractors, it's the same problem you have. Like a lot of the anti VAXX doctors were like, they're the most charismatic doctors. Like that guy who was popping that baby's back, good looking young guy. I'm sure he has an incredible bedside manner and he has a deep voice in the cadence he's spoken. That was the first thing I noticed was this very confident I know what I'm talkingfident calm hand

is what you're gonna do. I'm a cool dude. A lot of real doctors because they're actually practicing medicine, they're very busy, they're very stressed out, they don't sleep enough. A lot of them have substance abuse problems because they

have very stressful, difficult jobs. They can be less than friendly because say they're working at an e er or something like that, they're dealing with too much of a workload because there aren't enough real doctors and the insurance on top of that insurance filing stuff with the government, whereas this guy is just a liar, so he gets to be calm all the time. So you're real doctors,

like you got one of two things. You gotta do this test at this test, I gotta go on to do something like this, like go take this and get this next test, and I'll tell you what we need to do do next. And he's like, it's scary because you're already sick and he's not really taking the time to help you because he's got other ship to do. And this guy sits down with you and he talks with you and he explains how no, I can fix your baby's colic, just let me pop it spine, and

you're like, cool, yeah, it sounds great. Yeah, you called me down and you wear a nice turtleneckcuts. It's like when I got my weed card when I first move to the l A, the guy had a wrinkled lap cut. That does not evoke confidence from a medical professional. It's the only time I've ever seen it. I can't make it.

It's just more funny. Conversation was like, huh, I've never seen that before the best thing about the old way we'd used to work in Los Angeles is that it was clearly like a retirement program for doctors who either were on the edge of getting disbarred from like killing somebody on the operating table, or were just too old to work anymore. I had both of them. I had a younger dude where I was like, what did you

don't you got a baby? And then there's the old guy with like he's just like barely awake, like I had one doctor were like he had a picture on the wall where he couldn't even focus long enough for the picture. He looked like he was falling asleep for it. And then his assistant tried to skype us in to talk with him, and he didn't pick up skype twice and she just sports sick. So I got my wheat card. Beautiful. I miss it, Billy. It is so much easier, man,

I got one. I lived in Seattle, Washington, had a Seattle I d I was just down here doing sets, meeting with some people. Walked with my friend who had lived down here for two years. We were on venice and I was like, I'm gonna try to go get a wheat card. In this place, you could see the ocean from the doctor's office, and the guy and the lady she started. She was being kind of shitty to me at first because I had some out of state I d and she was like, what are you here for?

And I was like, Oh, I'm a stand up comedian. She was oh, I just started doing open mic and then just started checking stuff without even looking. When she figured out I could help her, I told her where to go to do some comedy stuff and walked out. My friend was like, what the hell here for two years? I was like, I've been here for a day, dude,

Let's go get some weight. One of the first guys I met in l A is a friend of a friend and he was in the Marines and he got shot in the leg, and he like legitimately was using pot at the time in part to like deal with pain. And he had his medical examination with the doctor and the doctor just looped him in with another patient who happened to be in the room at the time, who was just like, I don't know anxiety, Yes, it's like

you're both the same. To me. Let's gunshot wounded anxiety as much body as you can garry the overscribe it to your boat. The old man I went to, like you were talking about who was just it was pure retirement. I was like, I just want to be like, how much are they paying you to do this? Oh? They're making they made bank. He had a poster on the wall that had all the ailments, so he was like he and he was so lazy, just like which one is? He just pointed out pick on the window? What your

problem is? Man? America is pretty fun. And that's the kind of quack medicine I like where you just pay fifty dollars to have a doct to say, literally any problem. The prescription is however much pot you can pay for us. That's it great. Not let's pop a twelve year old spine or twelve week old spine. Ah well, Billy, that was fun. The episode's over. You know what that means. We're gonna pop that for brief. I'm gonna hit this

for breeze. Now, Billy, I'm gonna want you to I'm gonna want you to open the poison room and then I'm gonna want you to duck to the side as quick as you can sow. Now, Sophia is there an outside wall? Or is this gonna go sailing into the parking lots? Up? You're fantastic. Okay, this is officially safe. Sophie approves, give me, I don't approve hell Fell that time ship. I'm I'm gonna throw it horizontally. Does that make sense? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. Oh or it's

hard to do that. It's hard to do that, I think, because what we're doing you really have to serve it up yourself a nice love and slash. This one's gonna charm. Oh got it? Yeah? Kick it in there, kick it in there, billy. I do think that I would be fun with it. Basically in Time's letting me have explosives. Understand. I feel like that worked out well. I thought it

worked out better than chiropractical medicine does. Still going, I should try to start selling machette medicine, machete machette your way to health. What's sad is that any of these griffs you and I would try, we would be way more successful than any of our other endeavors in our lives. Absolutely, like what happened? How did you get successful? So we just started lying, here we go, Here we go? I

figured out. I figured out my my manifesto for Machettison. Now, we've all seen two thousand one of Space Odyssey, the documentary film that shows us how human tool you started. Watch from that movie there was some monkey picks up a large bone and start swinging it. Human beings evolved to swing large heavy things with one arm. The problem with modern society you never have a large heavy thing

in your arm. The answer to that the machete. If you're always carrying a machete, Billy Waite, and always swinging it, then you're vertebrate align properly, which clears the wound chakras out and removes the sickness subluxations from inside your gallbladder. The germ spirits, the germ spirits. The machete scares away the germ spirits by balancing your body. So for just four cents, you can receive an official Macheteison, licensed medical machete. It is a lot, but we need you to be serious.

We need you to be serious, We need you to take its investment. It's investment in your health. And you know what, Billy, I'm in a good mood today. So along with that machete. For four I'm going to throw in a book, Hack Your Way to Better Health for how much? For free free. That's just coming on there for free. So we get the machety, you get the machete, and then we get a book. This Hack your Way to Better Health tails us how to use the ship.

You've heard about body hacking. This is just straight up machete hacking. And it'll cure your cancer. Oh it's like botox, so it'll support your cancer treatment, support it, support it. I like support supporting. Just that feels better than treat is support. Support a lot to feel supported. We all like to feel some brawl for your cancer. Let this machete be a brawl for your cancer. We do have them available in Spanish and they are called machette. They are,

and we have them available for infants. Yes, for an extra you can get our special babies machete, which is the same as our adult machete, but pink just like Well, I think we've sold. I think we've got people trying to find the wedding. That's why you're upset with this, because we're doing a pretty good job to say. You know, I'm going to get yacht money and leave this podcast behind. I'm just disappointed. I just want to turn the channel. We're on three channels right now. Yeah, so Billy want

to plug your plugable. The President just made me the director of Health and Human Services. I mean, that's not even funny a cabinet position. I feel like I could at this point. I mean, since I've been holding this machete virtually the whole epistent that to him, you might be the he might be the Secretary of Defense Orange, I see something I like, Billy, Wayne, I just I'm about to I'm working on putting together a tour for the fall in the winter, so BWD tour dot com.

And I worked on the new season with Squidbillies, which is on Adult Swim right now. So check that out. That's such a perfect show for you to be working on. It was a dream. Did not feel like work? Yeah yeah, well I did not work on the new season of squid Billies. I did one have an altercation with a squid, but that's a tale for another day. The website for this podcast, the sources for all of this episode are on behind the Bastards dot com. You can find us

on Twitter and Instagram at at bastards pod. Uh you can buy T shirts at T Public Behind the Bastards, and of course you can machette your way to better health by going to www. Klondike five four five eight, Machettison today and again Michettison, as of course, smelled like it sounds