Ben Shapiro's Terrible Book: The Saga Continues

good start. It's vulnerable, it's honest, it's raw, it's relatable. I could go on. Someone interrupted me, well, you got a edge to it. Little bite, Little Bite podcast. Yeah, it feels like we started recording before we were ready as if we did. We did. But that's the first rule of broadcasting is to never be prepared or ready or competent um ever, never check and check. So this is Behind the Bastards. It's normally a podcast about the worst people in all of history. Um, but you know,

sometimes we like to have a little bit of fun. Uh, And and this is gonna be a fun one because we're we're diving back into Ben Shapiro's just unfathomably poorly written fiction novel True Allegiance. This will be episode three, Yeah, failure of prose. I wish that our listeners could see the beautific smile that spread across Robert's face as he was talking about the fun we will have today. Yeah, we need this. It's nice to see the enjoy through

the screen. That smile is me thinking about the time. Then Shapiro wrote in a character that was the captain of the high school football team, and no one knew his name, his name, no one knew his name. I mean, how could you? How could you know the star football player's name make at the back of his jersey. I don't know nothing like that. Oh, God in heaven. Um, So you may want to watch the first listen to the first couple of episodes, But your past, that's good

to know. I forget regularly because of all of the repeated exposure to police munitions. Um Leah. When we left off, there was a fun moment where the character that been wrote in as the governor of Texas, whose name is Bubba Yeah, was talking to the character who is clearly based on Ben Shapiro's own wife, who was the wife of the character that Ben wants to be who was

the bear of a man combat General Bret Hawthorne. In anyway, Ellen, his wife and the governor we're having a conversation about how how bad it is, uh to be a governor that the federal government refuses to support during a massive emergency that requires the mobilization of all resources. Um. And yeah, we were enjoying the irony of that, of of of how been actually landed when such a thing happened for real.

And now we're going to move on to the next chapter, which is a chapter about Sola DoD who, if you remember, is our She's that rancher who's supposed to be Clive and Bundy like fifty and hispanic, uh. And and the lady Yeah, really turning that stereotype on its heels. Yeah, because you can't call her racist. If he writes in a Hispanic character, then it's not racist then exactly feminine for you been non racist, Ben Shapiro, Yes, that's he's he's he's he's got it. What chapter are we on now,

ship it's like seven or eight something like that. Yeah, we're several chapters in too many chapters, in more than one more chapters than this book should have had. Because it should never have been written. It should have stayed in Ben Shapiro's little head. Uh. When he needed to feel like a big man, he could he could think about the fake combat general that he invented to make himself feel tall. Um. Yeah, and the short terrorists and the short little the terrorists who are all short. Yes, yes,

good people are tall. Terrorists are short, except for bad black people who are all also very large. That is the world that Been Shapiro has created. That is the is the that is the cosmology of the moral universe. In bench A. Piro's it sounds complicated, but really it's

quite simple, really simple rules. Yeah, okay, So it starts with Sola Dad waking up to a knock on her door at two in the morning, and you know, there's a Bundy's type standoff going on at her ranch because she's not paying taxes, because the taxes in the all the evil government stuff makes it impossible for her ranch

to actually work. And anyway, there's this So there's a bunch of motorcycle gangsters and militia people calling themselves Sola Dad Soldiers, and they're all hanging out and guarding her house from the Feds. But they're starting to ah, that would have been that would have been it, that would have been it man Man, all right, it's fine. Yeah, so uh yeah, they've cut off her power and uh yeah, it's it's, it's it's it's a bad situation for Solo Dad. Uh. She says, Oh that we a little bit of talk

about the some right wing media folks here. Um. Yeah, even the occasional big media spread didn't seem to lift her too much anymore. She felt like the whole game was rigged. She was either hero or villain. She was always the story, never Emilio and one. It was always Chris Matthews on the nightly news calling her a trader or Michael Savage calling her a freedom fighter. It was always one or the other. Yeah, I imagine Chris Matthews

would declare he didn't call Cleman Bundy a trader. Chris Matthews is he's getting confused, rampaging leftist Chris man is Ben Shapiro suggesting that, like there needs to be more nuance and how people are described. He calls so many people pure evil every day. Yeah. Well, and she's saying, you know, Solo Dad's angry Emilio and one, if you remember, she had to lay off her best worker, and he moved to Los Angeles, where his son was immediately killed

in a gang and instantly, Well, yeah, that's how it works. Yeah, because Ben Shapiro understands the chunk of the city literally thirty to forty five minutes away from where he lives now and a half in traffic. Yeah, uh fucking great. Right what you know? Right? What you know? The chunk of the city you live in that you have never ever in your entire life visited, because it scares you

very much to think about, right, Like, right, what you know? Okay, Well, I don't know any black people's names, so I can't name this second. So I'm just gonna say that no one knows his name, right, what you know? Not being able to call the black people in my life by their names because I never bother to learn them. I know that I will write about that fucking bit awesome.

So uh, Sola, dads, you know, in the standoff with the government and every day like the kind of militia that's that's arrayed to defend her appeals away a little bit, you know, because people can't can't hang out all the time but the SWAT team stays there, and eventually, as things start to dwindle, she gets a knock on the door in the early morning and a quote. A SWAT

officer stood there, his gun down by his side. When she opened the screen door, he sidled in without permission, holding his right arm out palm facing her, signaling for her to keep quiet. He shut the door stealthily behind him. I love yeah, because SWAT teams there, they they got all that stealth door closing training, like unreal, like just from like the reality of it, like okay, no, no he didn't. But also, like, what a poorly written sentence.

It's terrible. It's a terrible sentence. Yeah, it's it's yeah, yeah it was this grader, I would say, what a precocious tenth grader. You know it needs someone to sit down with him and tell him how to write. Well, but he's got he's got the he's got the spunk. You know, he's got he's got he's got gotten it down on the pages. Half the battle. The other half of the battle was knowing when not to publish something. Still fighting that battle every day, Ben Ben's lost that

battle for a while. Um, are you dying what he's there for. Well, he puts his He places his weapon gently on the dining room table. When he took off his helmet, she noticed his bright blue eyes. They stood out more because they were They stood out more because they were red rimmed. Whether from lack of sleep or from crying, she couldn't tell. The man stood no more than five ft ten, well built Caucasian, A thatch of must brown hair, stood neatly on end. He moved forward

quickly and grabbed her by the arm. She could feel his powerful grip through her thick row. Why would you do that? That's a weird Okay, you need to get out of here. He growled. Now, he growled quietly. He growled quietly and gently, like a bear. She pushed his hand off her arm. She pushed his hand off her arm. Stood up to her full five ft two. Ben is just obsessed with people's heights. I'm not going anywhere. Wait wait did he wait? Did he just say five ft two?

He should did? Wait? Wait that was who cares what I thought it was? And he's five ft ten she's five ft two. Okay, so we know that there's like a sizeable difference between them. That's why it's important, Like she's been a character in this book already, like this, like after multiple appearances. By the way, she's five too. What a bad writer, What a bad writer. So she's like, I'm not gonna go anywhere. Uh, And he's like, I don't think you understand, Mr Meirez. They're coming for you tonight.

So this is the this is the good SWAT team guy, the decent, decent cop who's like, I've got a warner there. The Feds are coming in to murder this um, this brave patriot. Um. She looked at the SWAT member, puzzled, Why are you helping me? My cookies can't be that good, he laughed softly. Maybe they are a pause, or maybe I'm just sick of watching people get pushed around. Whatever it is you need to get out of here tonight. You know, I thought that was masterful. Um. So we

learned his name is Aidan Foster. Um. What a um? And she tells she she tells, Aidan, you ready to be a trader? Aidan? He shrugged. She walked over to one of the cabinets, opened it, took out a jar. Well we might as well split a cookie on that. Goddamn god. Beer so much. Uh, such bad writing. Um, unbelievable, unbelievable, unbelievable. Oh God, damn it, Ben, Um, It's yeah, so okay, they they do they do the cookie bit for a

little bit, like real interactions, like human beings do. Oh Jesus, so they're they're they're attempted escape seems like a horrible idea. Immediately she loads some stuff up in a backpack and and heads out with this swat team guy and one of his team members like sees that they're doing this. Uh, and so Aidan throws a smoke grenade and then starts firing wildly is how Ben describes it. Too high to hit anyone. Uh. He heard at least two men curson

scatter in the distance. He could see the lights of the choppers flash on. He dropped. By the way, we've just switched to Aidan Foster's viewpoint from uh sol it adds view point because Ben does that in the middle of chapters that are supposed to be viewpoint chapters from characters, because he's a good writer. Does he okay, my gosh, okay, does he at least at least is it like there's a page break and some asterisks. No, it's really jarring and weird, and like the next paragraph is just now

we're in Aiden's point of view. Yeah, yeah, that's see, that's that's that's how it feels. Uh yeah, that's definitely how it feels because we can't be it's an action time right there, having a gunfight, and we can't we can't be in a woman's perspective during a gunfight. Yeah, so that's so awkward and weird something that he made me maybe didn't even notice he was doing, probably for the exact reason that you just said, like his subconscious

kicks in and he immediately changes the perspective. Right, Well, surely she can't describe it. Yeah, it's it's okay. I hope I find it well. I guess I find a disappointing that when he said that he was shooting too high for it to hit anything, that he didn't say how many feet and inches? Uh it was yeah, yeah, no, of course not Um that that would have been well, that would have been good to know. Um, we always

need to know that's higher than everybody. Come on, Uh, it is cool that one of Solida or yeah, somebody yells at the cops go to hell you fascist assholes. That's fun. Um yeah, so big, you know. And now now a fight starts with her militia and all the cops uh and Aidan Foster uh tries to get her, you know, tells her, Mam, I recommend we get out of here is sniper bullets zing around them. We get another moment where we learn again, yet again, that Ben

does not understand anything about firearms. Um, because he refers to the rounds being shot at them as heavy caliber seven point six to millimeter rounds, which I assume means he's referring to like seven six two by fifty one nato uh, which is essentially three oh eight which is a sizeable bullet, but it is also legally a handgun round. Um. That's fun. Um. Yeah, what an idiot. And yeah, I was gonna say, I was gonna say that, but yeah,

it's it's silly, it's it's just it's well. He's also the guy who whenever guns are brought up, like libs don't understand guns. They don't even know what they mean when they talk about like well, Ben, it's not a heavy caliber, it's it's an it's a normal caliber. It's like a full sized rifle caliber. But it's it's anyway, whatever, fucking I'm splitting hairs now. But I know it matters to Ben that he'd be seen as understanding guns. It

matters to him that you know that he's wrong about this. Yes, yes, yes, I did. It does so okay? Uh yeah, yeah. Do you have a plan, shielded Foster about the ear splitting wine of the bullets? Hell no, he said, but I'll bet they do. In the distance, the cavalry was coming Sola, dead soldiers least a dunn's dozen bearded gun toting men on their steel horses, riding directly towards the swat lines. She could see it in the distance. Pick, it's hog charge,

comparing them the Confederate cavalry. That's goods. Yeah, the good guys here. Um My hand's gonna explode. Oh boy, formed up and turned to face them. Guns at the ready, which is when the chopper began to groan. It's sputtered, crackled, and then dropped to the ground right at the swat lines. It's spiraled out of controls. I don't know, because Ben is a terrible fucking writers. Yeah, it's it's sure does nervous, Yeah, it kills all the SWAT guys. They're crying for their mothers.

Ben writes that in SoLIT ads horrified as they burned to death. What w they get out of there? Because the chopper randomly falls out of the sky and kills all the Swat No, no, it turns out I think. I think what happens is Aidan Foster, the SWAT team member who just couldn't see her get killed, shot the helicopter out of the air. Still men wait, So he switches. He switches the narrative to talk from Aiden's point of view, but cannot describe Aiden doing that to the helicopter. No,

of course, not just no, we're left too. We're left to piece that together after it gets shot out of the sky. And if he didn't do that, and if we were, if it was so Dad describing the thing, it would make sense that she doesn't know what's happening. Oh no, the helicopter. And then she looks back and she sees him with you know, smoke curling out of the barrel of his rifle and tears in his eyes,

you know. But no, because Ben is again very bad at writing, well, I think what's clear to me, I probably, I'm probably, I'm sure I've I've said this At other times, he's just so clearly writing something that he wants to have made into a movie, Like I'm not even thinking about this as a book. He's like, Oh, this will

look tight. Yeah, And there's no The hardest thing when you're when you're writing fiction like this is maintaining an understanding of space, of geography, of where things are and and making it clear to the reader where things are,

especially in an action scene like that. It's hard to do um and Ben doesn't even really try, Like we have no idea as these bikers are rushing towards these swat lines, we have no clear idea where the swat lines are, what they look like, you know, are there fortifications? What direction are these guys coming from? Where were they before that allows them to be like charging at the

swat team? Like none, no attempt is made to make that clear, just like no attempt is made to let us know what has actually happened to the licopter because Ben is a terrible writer. Yeah, or why nobody knows that kid's name? Yeah yeah, yeah, it's all like it's all like weird, Like his idea of what tropes are like a lot of they're not even like tropes necessarily.

He's like, oh, and then he says, like they do like a cookie bit rightecause people do the cookie stuff is Yeah, I do want to see this movie though, yep, yep, uh so yeah, Aidan Foster bodily picked her up and put her on a motorcycle behind one of the militiamen. She clung to his leather jacket as he twisted again. Wait a minute, where do you get a guy? What? What? Yeah? Okay, So basically what happens is a gun there's a gunfight

going on now. A bunch of the Swat guys are dead, and now the militiamen are having a gunfight with the surviving Swat guys, and Aidan Foster, you know it, puts her on the puts her on the back of a motorcycle to be spirited away to safety. And just to give you an idea of how badly his paragraph is written, we start first sentence the paragraph. Foster bodily picked her up and put her on a motorcycle behind one of

the militiamen. She clung to his leather jacket as he twisted the throttle and peeled out, spinning it like, oh, so it's a militia man's leather jacket, but it's a militia man who is the second he in this after we started really sentence, Oh that was so uncle even Yeah, because he's a bad writer, he's terrible, terrible writer. Oh when you said bodily, is it bodily like b O d I l y, or like bodily? Is that even a word like b O d I l y? Yeah? Yeah,

he bodily picked her up? As if there's another way to pick someone up? How how else wouldn't you pick someone up? But bodily? Like the words you're using, could you could you pick Maybe you just picked them up by the ankle and lift their whole body, but just by the ankle, and so then you're anklely picking them up? I don't know, Um, hands bodily pick up against gravity? Will God damn it, Ben Shapiro, you are horrible at the thing that clearly matters more to you than anything else. Yeah,

good god. Um. Yeah, so the last paragraph of this terrible chapter, Um, don't look back, so Dad whispered to herself, don't look back. But she did just long enough to see in the distance. Some of the flaming men go out, leaving nothing but smoking chars of flesh. Horrible sentence. Horrible sentence. But she did comma just long enough to see Comma in the distance, Comma. Some of the flaming men go out, Comma, leaving nothing but smoking chars of you made did not?

That is how Been? That is Been Shapiro constructing a sentence. I don't think he has He's only like he He writes sentences as if he's only heard of grammar by it being like described to him by a witch doctor around a fucking fire like it's He obviously doesn't have an editor liked, and sentences are like three words long, and they're all these periods. Hey, do you want to know who does have have an editor? This podcast? And it's time to do an ad break. We're back every

time we um. Every time we do one of these Been Shapiro episodes, I'm nervous at the start that I'll just be like reading you guys a chapter and nothing entertaining will happen. And every time I am immediately reminded, no, Ben is just bad enough that this will never not be fun to do. Oh, absolutely there's always some sort of a treasure buried in here, not even buried, just sitting on the surface surface, just like it's like you're trying to clean a pool with one of those little scoopers,

but it's just like, oh, this's gold everywhere. So our next chapter of everyone's going to be excited about this. We're back with leve On, our our our gang leader who's friends with obviously an Al Sharpton insertion, and who, if you'll remember last time, paid a black child to get murdered by a cop because that's the only way

such a situation occurs. Um, good God. Just like the nature of his racism is so much more offensive to me, And obviously I'm a white guy, but it's so much more offensive to me than like an actual straight up clans member, because at least that guy really knows he's a racist, whereas been Shapiro is certain that he is doing the opposite of racism while being shockingly racist. So it's so fascinating and frustrating to watch every sentence. It's like, how do you not, I mean, you know at some

level he knows. Yeah, Levan felt the air around him crackle with energy. It was something he had felt before just before a fight. The switch that went off in the brain that notched the senses higher and made them more sensitive. Been making a number of things clear. Sorry, senses and sensitive can't be right there in the sentence the show he said before twice within like five words, he absolutely did. It's a terrible sentence and also clear evidence that Been has never in his life been in

a fight. Um yeah, oh god. Okay. So here, the switch that went off on the brain that notched the senses higher, made the more sensitive. Next sentence, the adrenaline flowing through the veins. That's the whole sentence, the adrenaline. Uh, it's just it's just the narrator in fight club doing his little like half sentences because like that's the style we're doing. Yeah, the feeling that you'd burst from the inside out if the fight didn't commence, and right quick,

making it sound very animalistic, isn't he? A? Yeah? Oh my god, everything yea god, damn it everything. He can't do anything. It's just remarkable. Yeah, what the funk? Okay, So this felt like those fights multiplied exponentially. That's because Levan knew he wasn't alone. It wasn't multiplied exponentially. There's so there's it's so dense, like there's so many layers of this don't part every single like five word phrase. God, but by God, we have to. We just have That's

because Levan knew that he wasn't alone this time. It wasn't him taking on some gang rival or him debating some white publican club sucker at the U. Yeah, this is going to be flames and blood and struggle in power. This was going to be death and mayhem and hope and glory. This was going to be fucking big. All Levan needed was the queue. He discussed the queue ahead of time with the Reverend. It would come on television during a press conference Big Jim planned to hold with

the mayor. In the aftermath of the Kendrick Malone killing, the killing of another it's bad, it's real bad. Yeah, the killing of another young, innocent black man at the hands of the racist white establishment, the police targeting a kid, an un armed kid, for God's sake, just because he happened to be black and happened to be out at night at the wrong time. The shooting had worked out precisely according to the plan. One of his boys give little Kindrick a twenty dollar bill to go and harass

the cop. Kindrick, of course, thought it was just a piece of good, clean fun. Messing with white cops was a rare joy, made you feel like more of a man. And with all the big boys telling him how he'd be a boss in the neighborhood if he baited the cop, he'd been enthusiastic. He probably looked forward to coming home and telling his buddies how he told that cracker ass pig to go to hell. Stared right at him and cursed him to his face, made the pig back down.

Kindrick knew he was supposed to go for his toy gun. They told him it would be a joke, that the cop wouldn't do anything, that the cop would pussy out. Of course, leave On knew better. No cop could sit still when somebody went for the waistband. Police procedure dictated what happened next, which ben, you're almost you almost got something there. He almost realized something there. He got a little too close and then back away. Maybe a system in which the only possible response to a child pulling

out a toy gun is murder has some problems. When I hate about this is that he is not aware of it. He's like getting so close and he just he thinks is okay for our cop to pull out their gun in this situation is essentially what he's saying, like we're tricking the cops into pulling their guns. No, they they did it. They did the thing that they shouldn't do. No, it's just like the his that we talked about the last time. I think, just like the conspiracy aspect of this is just so bizarre and like

weirdly insulting. Like you could, yeah, a competent writer trying to have something similar happen. You know, have a have a have a black gang leader who attempts to use this as the Q two spark an uprising. Um, you could you could just have them try to make use of a normal police killing. Judge, have it happened, Just just have it thing happened that happened that hand, be just a normal tragedy that then a person takes advantage of, right, Like that's like that's being closer to like what how

Ben views everything anyway? So but why manufacture this weird like everybody's been is such a bad writer that he can't even effectively advance his own bullshit narratives because of his incompetence, because like that's actually like an interest like that would be baseline interesting in terms of like art or like a novel, Like, wow, they're using this thing to do this thing. I disagree with this, but like

this conflict there. Yeah, you could have like a like a black Special Forces veteran turned gang leader who's like has developed this deep hatred for the American Empire due to having his friends die in the PTSD. He's accrued and you know, he's he's trained in actually setting up an insurgency, and then there's a murder by a police officer of a black kid, and he uses it as an opportunity to like you know, set something into motion

that will destroy this empire. And then you have an interesting character and you have an interesting situation and you can like you can actually have a story, right people are engaged in like actually struggle with because like some sort of like gray area and like the morality and ethics in conflict with each other. But he's just like, well what if, Like he's just gonna what IF's evil?

And he pays the people to die paid the boy to die because a because an eight or nine year old black boy living in the inner city, Uh, wouldn't know that pulling a toy gun on a cop would very easily lead to his death. Wouldn't know the thing that literally every black boy in the entire nation knows literally happened. Like didn't come out in like two sixteen. Yes, yes it did, Cody like, it's oh my god, Yeah,

it's amazing. So and of course, because everything has to be ridiculously contrived, Levon didn't just set up the boy encountering the cop. He destroyed all of the other cameras but one in the neighborhood that had the right angle for the shot he wanted to have played on a nightly tv UM one angle one tape, one million replays on nightly news. The headline writers couldn't help themselves. Eight year old unarmed black boy shot dead by white cop,

blared the free press. Murderer, screamed the headline on the New York Daily News. O um Ben knows how headlines is written. Well, the phrase one million replays on the nightly news isn't a thing, you know, It's absolutely not a thing. That's not how the nightly news replays on

nightly News is not. But I think what we're all getting is that literally the only thing that Ben Shapiro understands is being Ben Shapiro, a boy who was plucked out by right wing billionaires to write nonsense on the Internet when he was a child, um, and only understands writing right wing nonsense for the Internet and getting paid millions of dollars. Yes, yeah, right, it was. It's that in the combination of wanting to be like a TV writer, um and not doing that, and because he's bad at it,

He's bad at everything. I just thought of all of his like super fan boys that have read his books and they're like, have you reach a Piro's book? It's so good people, I'm I don't. I don't think a single person has had that experience. I don't even think's been Shapiro fans could possibly enjoy this fucking book. Um, it's it's so bad. Uh yeah so and then Robert hastily read the words with his eyes and then parcularly ocularly. Uh. CNN headlined the case the entire day and the next

one as well. Over on MSNBC, the talking heads could barely conceal their excitement. On Fox News, a few anchors urged caution, while others talked of the legacy of racist policing across the country. Um, the President obviously has to get involved in this, and he tells Americans the time has come for a great racial conversation in this country. Too many black boys have been murdered merely for the color of their skin. This must end, um, which is

obviously a bad thing to do. Controversial. Yeah, um, well, you know the President Obama doesn't know that the kid was paid money to die. No, of course not. It's not his fault. So yeah, lev On is now waiting um outside the Colman, a young municipal center named after the former mayor of the city, a man who had been a racial pro in his own right. Don't don't racial prowess? Are that on? Urine? That's it's written out. That's how that's written in the fucking buck. Oh boy, howdy,

um good, good god. So Levin says, old Coleman is going to make one more sacrifice in the name of racial justice. Uh if all goes according to plan. Um, yeah, boy, howdy. So they're in front of the spirit of the Spirit of Detroit statue, which Levon describes as looking like a constipated Nordic man um. Yeah, behind Levan stood a solid three thousand of his fellow Detroit's, mostly young black men. Levin had sent out his boys to round up the crowd,

and they'd had an easy time of it. After the media coverage, facing the crowd protecting the statue and a platform set up just before it stood about a hundred cops, Levon noticed a particular lack of weapons. He smiled to himself, then, really understands how cops work. The unarmed cops showing up to this event. Yeah, yeah, I was just last night. Two hundred people surrounded up, or not surrounded, hung out

outside of Portland Police Union headquarters. And yeah, they they they had a ton of weapons and used them on us, because that's what cops do. Yes, yeah, I like, I don't know the first thing I thought when you said reference calling his boys. I mean just Ben's never had boys to call. He wishes a group of boys he could call. He would love to, He would love to, but unfortunately Ben Shapiro is incapable of doing anything but writing garbage for the Internet. Ben's boys are Dennis Praeger,

that's who. That's who Ben's calling up. Yeah so uh yeah, so leave on smiles when he notices how unarmed to the cops are. There's media all over the place interviewing the odd protester here. Yeah, the crowd's gonna beat up a lot of people, including when he smiled. Did it say he smiled quite happily, lipally lipwards? Yeah? Yeah. So he says that a couple of reporters are getting caught in the melee. Is just how it's going to have to be. If they were too well behaved, the media

would dismiss them. A bit of blood got them hot under the collar. A bit of blood made the story hot. The way the media worked, the only way they pay attention was if somebody did something extreme, then they defend the action, blame it on the overwriting anger at an unfair society. I have to diagram the sentence out you lost me a little. I am reading a sentence to you one. Sometimes it's like is this one? Is like?

The way the media worked, Comma, the only way they'd pay attention was if somebody did something extreme, dash and then they defend the action, Comma, blame it on overwriting anger at an unfair society period. Okay, thank you for doing that. Oh my god, that's a sentence. Thinking that's a sentence. This is a real illuminating look into how he views the current moment in time as an editor. Editor. Oh my god, for this book to be like written

down and then sold in incredible. Um. Yeah. So Levin had his men ringing the edges of the crowd, ready to prevent any non approved persons from getting too close to the media members. No footage of fools, he'd promised the Reverend. Uh, and he intended to keep his word tonight. Levin intended to be the face on the news. Already, he'd done his best Malcolm X impression early Malcolm, not that late stage. Islam means peace, pussy ship for the networks.

If we don't get what we want, he said, if we don't get justice for Kendrick, the city is going to burn. We've been burning silently for too long. Our poverty burns beneath the surface. Our ignorance burns beneath the surface. We've been left for dead in this city, just like black boys have been left for dead all over this country. And this country must pay a price if there is no justice, Ben Shapiro, Yeah, sorry, yep, oh god, okay,

next sentence. So the last thing that Levan says, uh, and we're just left to assume he's talking to the media now because Ben doesn't actually make that here. But but we we can put that together. Uh bye bye. Yeah. Yeah, So that sentences and this country may must pay a price if there is no justice. End of Levan sentence. Next paragraph. The sexy blonde with the short skirts seemed turned on at that point. First we're hearing of her breathily blonde. What breathly? She asked, Oh, you're so bad

at writing, And what will justice look like? So he threw in a line. That's just the next sentence, So he threw in a line just for good measure, justice will be done when people like you live in the mud you've made for us. Only then can we lift each other up. Her eyelashes flooded, fluttered. That ship was magic. Leav On new he'd learned it at the university to white co ed's majoring in journalism, where a cinch just drag them off their civilized perch and let them experienced

life outside their self proclaimed white privilege. And they let and they let you know that you'd be doing them a favor. This is amazing. It's amazing. Yeah, it's it's you can't even begin to unpack how bad that is. The writing awful, what it says about him awful. Every other sentence in this is so fascinating on sony levels, and like I just want to give it to like, like, is his wife read this? Like do people in his life know like his his his wife didn't. She definitely didn't.

She's a doctor. She has things enough time. Yeah, exactly. I think it's very clear that Ben's editor didn't have time to read this stuff to do. We are the first people to read this. So the mayor shows up at the Nordic Man statue to to address the crowd. Real quick, you're saying it's his part of the chapter, right, it's not his chapter because it's his chapter. It's his chapter. It is, okay, so it's not a bouncy thing. Who knows that the next paragraph this is a Ben Shapiro book. Yeah,

so we meet the mayor. Mayor comes up here. He got his job after the last guy went to jail for being corrupt. Um. Yeah, yeah, now he raped his pipe, tasty white forehead with a handkerchief. He adjusted his glasses. He looked down at his notes. I his voice broke. I have just met with area leaders as well as civil rights leaders across the country. Why is the mayor meeting with him across the anyway? Uh? And I can say to all of you that our investigation will be

full and fair, and that justice will be done. What justice, leave On shouted at the top of his lungs. The shout rang out like a gun report and the cold night air. Justice will be done, the mare continued. Officer Ricky O'Sullivan has been suspended from duty pending a full investigation. This deeply troubling incident has stirred the conscience of Americans from border to border. But I promise you justice will not rest until the tragedy of Kindrick Malone. What Justice?

What justice? Lev On was chanting now at the top of his lungs. A few scattered voices joined in. Mayor Burns momentarily flustered, clutched at the pages of his prepared remarks. The voices grew pounding, angry, steady, What justice, What justice? What justice? Trying to be heard over the chant also terrible chant, trying to be heard over the chant, The mayor continued. Now Reverend Crawford began nodding softly, until the tragedy of Kindrick Malone has answered. For with truth, we

must cover all the facts. Burns suddenly stumbled backwards as a rock struck him in the scalp, almost in slow motion, his arm. Yes, scalp was a weird choice. Yeah, yeah, yeah, in a scalp, and almost in slow motion, his arms stretched for air, circling in a nearly comic pinwheel. He teetered on his heels for a few things, almost a number of things. Yeah. So he falls, um and Ben lets us know that he has a large butt, h and he falls on it. Um. And then yeah, a

bunch of people. The whole crowd starts throwing ship Molotov cocktails start being tossed. Uh, sail over the smash into the statue and get on the cops. People get lit on fire, the cops shoot tear gas everywhere. Um. Yeah, now we have a big, old, big old riot. This is not the first time he's described people being burned alive. Yeah, people, a bunch of burning alive. At the end of that, that's the most violent thing because he hasn't ever seen violence. Like,

he's like, it's gotta go, it's gotta go wild. Yeah. Uh so yeah, things start to go crazy, random gunshots in the crowd, media members jabbering madly into their microphones, ducking playing war correspondent, and then Reverend Jim Crawford standing tall and proud and his immaculately tailored suits. So the fucking al Sharpton guy gets up and yells at everybody to stop, and the street, the whole street goes quiet,

and the riot stops. Uh. And that's apparently the moment that lev On engineered was starting a riot that would then be stopped instantly by this reverend because everybody at the riot new to take this one man's queue to stop rioting when they started rioting, because that's the way riots were been, has been to riots. Guys. He understands crowd psychology. He went to college. He did go to a college. He did at hand. You know who else went to college? Yeah, the products and services that support

this podcast. We are we are back. We have returned. Um, oh good god, we have returned. Uh returnally they have come back. We're in Tehran, Iran, America has fallen. The transformation from Dar Alhab to darl Islam has begun. Mohammed watched transfixed already, Sorry, go ahead. He brought him a Shami's eyes glowed brightly, as they always did when he was excited. What it's literally just describing him for a yellow, snaky eyes. It was a your quality that attracted many

of his followers. They saw in that glow of fiery hope, warm and consuming hope for a better world. The teacher, they said, brought hope. That's good, Ben, he brought hope. They brought a fiery hope. The teacher brought hope. Thank you for telling us that three times a different yet you were repeating yourself. No, no, no. They saw in that glow of fiery hope, warm and consuming new sentence, hope for a new world, new sentence. The teacher, they said,

brought hope. Oh oh that that last one. Really maybe it's bad, you know, He's probably like, this is good, this is good. You you inserted as many hopes as possible you have to. Really, that's good writing. Really, people love it when you when you repeat the same very basic point repeat three times in the space of two sentences.

That second one wasn't like egregious, like okay, you're like being repentitive and it's not great, but it's not like, well, you know, be a scholar of literature, and I think you know he's a big fan. You all know that that that famous Ernest Hemingway, uh short story for sale, baby shoes never worn because the baby's dead. The baby didn't get a chance to wear the shoes. The baby never wore the shoes that were bought for it. That that one the perfect the perfect story. Uh. I don't know,

talking too much or whatever. Okay, so here's I assume. I assume this is the teacher talking. Ben just jumps right into the quotations and we're kind of left to figure out that it's the teacher talking. But he didn't say the teacher anyway, it's bad writing again. Today's attack is ensured that the crippled and weakened infidel giant that was the United States will never rise again. That's one sentence.

The imptinus and degradation of that perverse country has been wiped away, and the glorious reign of Allah has begun. Another sentence, Those that rejected allaw followed vanities, and allaw has destroyed them. Today America has seen that those who reject Allah and hinder men from the path of a law their deeds will allaw render astray. God damn it.

Bit that's a sentence. Today, Comma America has seen that those who reject Allah and hinder men from the path of a law dash their deeds, will Allah render a straight That's a sentence. Been, sentence is not a sentence? Unreal m Um, What do these fucking people have to do with this? Hey, Ben, here's the thing that you might do as a writer writing about, you know, in

Islamic extremist emir preaching. Listen to a single speech by one of these guys of which there are thousands on the Internet to understand how they actually talk, or just or just take from one of them, take from just literally altermate a little bit. So times that like writers can do that, Ben, But no, he's got a pretty good handle on how Islamic extremists talk. Okay, So yeah, this goes on for a little while. Uh oh my god. A drop of sweat rolled down a Shami's craggy face

and embedded itself in his scraggly beard. Shami had lost weight in his three years in the mountains of Tora Bora, but he was finally putting it back on now that

he was ensconced in his complex in Tehran. The government had granted it to him out of gratitude for his prior efforts against the Great Satan, with a yearly stipend that enabled him to live comfortably, which is funny because of the whole Iran was fighting against Islamic anyway, whatever, whatever, whatever, the actual history of Iran and Afghanistan does not matter

at all because Ben doesn't know it. Um. There are so many things that have been offensive in these few brief chapters, and this is just so offensive to be writing about something that he knows nothing, not a single solitary goddamn thing about it. Yeah, no, no funny jokes here, just well yeah yeah, yeah, so uh yeah, the the he does some he does some evil Muslim talking and well, actually no, we're just we just continue to describe, uh, his his fucking room and ship. And it's it's bad.

I just can't stand the the adjectives. I can't know. They're horrible. They're horrible, like the watery sweat dripped down his craggy face, and it was scraggly beard in his pointed chin. Just like just whatever, it doesn't matter who cares, Yeah, pointed at the camera Mohammed, his youngest recruit, an attractive boy of seventeen, struggling to grow with scraggly beard. Only wave then knows how to describe a Muslim beard. Have you seen any of these guys? They're not scraggly beards.

They have really fucking big beards. Bed it's kind of the thing. It's, oh my god. Also like he really wanted to grow scraggly beard, that's the goal. No, he's a fucking little kid. He wants to grow a beard any bear any and he's he's an Islamic extremist, which means he wants one of those big, full beards that they put like fucking orange dye in, because that's what they fucking do. There's a million pictures of these guys scraggly Is it something he would the kid would think?

It's what then thinks of their beards? Yeah, because because a full beard is something been considers manly and is probably angry that he cannot grow himself and so Islamic extremists have to have scraggly beards like the ones that ben gross. That's my that's it. Well, like I mean is that it's a lot of it comes down to that one tweet of his right are uh Israelis like to build stuff, Arabs like to live in sewage and

bomb crap. He thinks they all live in dirt, so they look like dirt and they have scraggly beards because that means there they live in dirt beds. Right, these bugget beards their premitive fire. Yeah, uh, it's it's amazing. Um. Okay, So he's talks to Mohammed about how they're going to the weapons we got from the infidels in Iraq will be deployed, um, which I think is Saddam's weapons of

mass destruction, which you, if you remember, will emplay. So these are um, these are Sunni extremists who were in Afghanistan presumably with al Qaeda, and are now in Shia Iran, which did, to be fair happen a few times, but it was never a particularly comfortable arrangement for anybody involved. Um. And they have are getting access to through kind of an unclear providence, the weapons of mass destruction that Saddam Hussein had spirited out of Iraq and into it was

either Iran or Syria. None of it makes any sense to anyone who like has even the vaguest level of understanding Middle Eastern politics. But this is what's happening. Um, yeah Mohammed, Yeah, yeah. Also, if Iran is on board with this sort of thing, they have chemical weapons, Like you don't have to have, Saddam, but whatever you have to have, Saddam have had the weapons, because then it justifies the war in a rapt Yeah, Mohammed bit his lip a Shami sad, I see that you are worried.

He said, do not fear, does not the current does not. The Koran say those who have said our Lord is a law and then remained on our right course, the angels will descend upon them, saying, do not fear and do not grieve, but receive good tidings of paradise. Not a super relevant quote, ben, just like picking something. Yeah, yeah, it's like it's like literally a quote saying like, yeah, if you're on the right course, God will will make

you feel good about it. Um, But not a particularly I don't know It's not the kind of thing that you would quote to somebody in a moment like this. I don't think I did. It just demonstrates him not caring enough to do real research. So he googled a single passage from the Koran that he felt like was vaguely appropriate and threw it in there. Um so yeah, uh do do do? The sound of the afternoon wasn't wefted into the room. He took a deep breath and

then pulled us disposable cell phone and dialed. A man's voice answered at the other end. He spoke with a thick Russian accent. Yes, he said, yes, in a thick Russian accent. Tomorrow, as Sham said, then hung up abruptly. That's their conversation. He turned to Mohammed. Go Mohammed, and Allah will go with you. As Mohammed left, a Shami knelt on his prayer rug. When he got up, he turned to the door and smiled. They're standing before him was a large American man in a military uniform. He

wore a blindfold. Welcome, General Thorn. Yeah, we're well, no, actually we're back to We're back to Mohammed because he's sipping some classy cafe. Yeah, of course, I would like to just point out just another tip to Ben. Um. You didn't need to say he pulled out a disposable cell phone. Um, And then the conversation you say he pulled out a cell phone. You have the conversation happen.

And then you see him throw the cell phone away, yeah, and crush it underfoot indicate to the reader maybe he hands it yeah, yeah, he just Yeah, you could have it. Even if you want this guy to be really cool, you can just hold the phone out and an underly nose to take it and destroy it immediately, because like that's just the operation this guy has going. But yeah, Ben's bad at writing. Um, so let's get to this

next part. Mohammed glanced nervously around cafe in the dairy as he sipped his Nana t It was a classy joint and everyone wore a suit. It was a business cafe located in the lower level of a hotel. It wasn't the kind of place that would kick up any sort of fuss in a western city, but in Teo Ron it was a rarity. Ben doesn't know a goddamn thing about this part of the I've been to Iran. I've been to places that are much poorer than Iran in the Middle East, and they have a fun lit

of cafes like that. You know why, because it's a huge fucking part of culture in the Middle East to sit at cafes and drink motherfucking tea. It's an enormous thing. They do it all the time. They have tons of them, They're all over the place. But no, this is one of the only nice cafes in Tehran, a city that prides itself on its fucking tea. Anyway, fucking no, No, I don't think you understand, Robert. Um, they live in dirt there, they live in dirt. Yeah, they live in dirt.

And philth clearly yours, Robert. Maybe maybe the people with the scraggly beards go to wherever you're talking about. But this is a real fancy place. Yeah, it's the last non Islamic cafe in the city. It brags about that, the last non Islamic cafe in Tehran. Um, that's the last one, the last one. Yeah, yeah, So yeah, they're doing He's having some sort of meeting there. Um, some

guy named Andre I'm guessing that's the Russian um. It also had the benefit of maintaining a solidly anti regime reputation. Not a great thing. I I don't so like. What do you what do you think Iran has been? Like? Is it is it so oppressive that like this is the only non Islamic cafe or is it open enough that you can have a solidly anti ri like a reputedly anti regime cafe exists in the city and it be fine? Um? Yeah, intellectuals and writers hung out in

packs and talked treason. What do you think, goddamn it be consistent about your wrongness about a place I don't like. Goddamn, Okay, this is intellectuals and writers hung out in packs and talk treason. For that reason, regime informers populated the place. It was the last location Western intelligence agencies would watch. The last location that we're going to watch. Is this cafe filled with pull talking trees and against that's the

last place to watch? What do you how? God, everything is so wrong about his conception of the fucking world of just like reality and like how like not even because it's not even like having specific knowledge about the region, although that's clearly a problem. If wrong, if you say this thing regardless of where it is, and then you say this other thing. They contradict each other, and you think the CIA like you think. Okay, So let's let's imagine.

Let's imagine in Ben's world, the undercover CIA operatives who exist in Tehran talking about where they should spend their resources, scoping out. Hey, there's this famous anti regime cafe, the only non islamict cafe in the city. Lots of trees and its intellectuals go there. Probably not worth our time, right track, Yeah, that sounds like being spies. Just unimportant. Just don't use the word reason two words after you use the word treason. Yeah yeah, also bad um, God

damn it. Ben. So yeah, they're they're they're meeting this cafe because nobody's nobody's going to suspect that the cafe trees and his people gather is where terrorists will gather. Um. Yeah. Mohammed had complete faith in a Shami. A Shami was the man who had taught him the emptiness of secularism, the beauty of belief. He was a master strategist who had launched several substantial attacks on targets ranging from embassies to hotels to restaurants in America, Europe and Israel. He

is with Allah and I am with him. Mohammed thought. I also enjoy that it's like country, continent, country is where this guy's attacks have been. We don't need to specify, Like you don't say something like he was the master strategist behind the Paris bombing of two thousand eleven, or you know the nightclub attack in Spain that claimed thirty one lives. We don't, because why would you like a writer? Yeah? Yeah,

so the kids kids waiting for this Russian. He's got a satchel um Yeah, like what, it's got a shaving kid that he bought just to avoid suspicion for some reason. But he had also tossed it immediately. I don't know why been is telling us all this. Um. Okay, so he's got a bunch of money either. Yeah, this guy is Russian guys late. They're having a trying to have him meeting. But this Russian guys fucking late. Um oh god, Okay,

here we go. Had android been followed by the Americans, had he been taking it out of play by the Israelis? What if every minute he stayed here the Zionists were drawing closer. He had heard the stories about the Jewish devils, about how they had blown the heads off of nuclear scientists with their head rest bombs, about how their computer

specialists had stifled the Iranian nuclear program. If they knew what he was planning, the sons of pigs and monkeys would surely take him out of play, using out of play again twice in a paragraph too. That's fun, um so to culturally sure? Absolutely? Um? Yeah, so okay, I guess this guy comes in eventually. Uh do do do? Stupid? The Russian? The first thing, The Russian says, he's surprised

because the Russian short uh. And the Russian says, you expected Dolf Lundgren perhaps, And of course Mohammad doesn't know who that is. Um. Also not really sure that a lot of Russians know who don't He's not like, he's not like a famous guy in Russia. I don't think, but maybe I'm wrong on that one. I don't know much about Russian culture. He's Swedish. H he played a Russian in a movie, so so a Russian would use Dolf as his immediate go to cultural touchstone for a

tall person when talking to in his Iranian. You're like talking about Iraqi and you're like, oh, yeah, like the villain from True Eyes or something like that would actually work because they've all seen every American action movie. Fucking imaginable. But yeah, um, bad example, bad example. He's Swedish. What are you talking about? Yeah, I unreal, Uh yeah, nonsense, it's not often I get to eat well in this country.

Oh boy. Yeah, so the Russian says, yeah, you can't can't eat well in Iran, a country that famously has no cuisine. Um, god, he is such a low opinions Yeah, yeah, okay, So they go outside and he hailed a cab, you know, a bunch of just bullshit stuff that Ben is trying to make it seem like an exciting spy thing but is actually incredibly boring. Oh and then the chapter ends with nothing, uh, nothing happening, nothing happening other than this

guy giving him a suitcase. That's the whole thing. Gets a suitcase from this Russian. That's the whole chapters. Yeah, that's just the people. Yeah, no one burnt alive in this chapter. What the unreal? So we have I'm very excited, guys. We have just now entered having finished finished that chapter. We have now entered part two collapse. Oh my goodness. Oh yeah, wait a second, what wait a second? This is we're entering part two. We we have just part

to Cody from like a storytelling perspective. Another word for that, the term might be like act too. Yeah. So you're saying, is act one ends with a briefcase being delivered? Yeah? Yeah, and and that boy heading to the airport with the briefcase. Yeah, that's a cliffhanger. And ran them insults about Iranian cuisine, which is fantastic by the way, Um, anyone saying that threshold into advantace deeply frustrating. Also, Part one is before Part two is collapse. Great words to choose, Oh my god,

don't match at all. Two and a half episodes have been us getting through before and now chapter one after collapse is and you're all going to be excited for this bread Hawthorne. Yeah yeah, we are we doing that today? Or is that going to be next time? I feel like we've got to if we've got the time, we've got to roll through a little bit of a little bit of a bread h Right. These are protagonists, um yeah, and because Ben is such a good writer. He's been,

he's been like teasing. It's like, pretty soon we're gonna get a second chapter with I. He'll bite the empty magazine of his gun again tomorrow. The word hung in the air for a moment, spoken in Arabic, not meant for his ears. Brett was sure of that. Oh God, all three separate sentences. He couldn't see a thing dash The blindfold over his eyes prevented him from seeing the room. But the next words confirmed Brett's worst fears. He recognized the voice God, that's a bad sentence. But the next

words confirmed Breat's worst fears semicolon. He recognized the voice fucking horrible. So it's bad. You mentioned they're like bring the words, but it's the voice that's the thing that Yeah, God, damn it. How can you be this bad at writing? Yeah, you be this bad at writing. It's like literally bad. Like it's not even like you read like sometimes you read like, well that's mediocre, that's something special. This is

just bad. It's one thing. Like it's like it's one thing to write a book, and it'd be like, oh, well, yeah, you know. The story structure was kind of a mess. The character development wasn't super fluid, Like you know, that's

just a thing. It's hard to write books. Anyone who's going who tries, he's going to try to write fiction, You're gonna have books where it's like, okay, yeah, you know your character to revelment wasn't great, or like you know, the pacing wasn't you know, it was off here, off here. But like this is just the very basic technical facts

of how he writes sentences are so bad. Yeah, it's like this bizarre like disjointed, like so like nothing matches up, subjects don't match up, and like unclear, like it's it's like vaguely clear, like what the intention is. But if you take a second, like, well that doesn't make any sense. If if if a junior, if I were teaching like a creative writing class for junior high school kids and someone turned this in, um I would I would have a conversation. I would have to sit down with them

and talk about things. Right, I don't wanna say like it's not like a it's not like a shame thing, but it's like this is actually okay, we're gonna so like there's some some structural things that need to be altered. Here about if I were worried about like embarrassing the students in front of the other students, I'd be like, this is actually a good example of a sentence we should look at and like, what is wrong with this sentence? And you know, why isn't this doing the job this

sentence needs to do. Every sentence needs to do a job. Let's look at why this one isn't functioning. And you can kind of do that with every other sentence. You can do that with every single sentence in this book. Yeah, welcome, General Hawthorne, said Ibrahama Shami in a clipped accents clipccent. But what is damn? Yeah, Bret's captors forced him to his knees. He felt them hits God damnit sentence one. Brett's captors forced him to his knees period sentence to

he felt them hits stone what his captors his? That is oh man? Then he felt a sweaty hand remove the blindfold. That was a sentence, And that was a sentence. That's a sentence, a great sentence, but a functional sentence. Yeah, before him stood the world's most well known terrorists since Osama bin Laden period smiling. That's the next sentence after that, it's just God. Then oh my God, put the puck down,

Like that's all I can think about when he does. Yeah, I think if Chuck Palinuck listened to this episode like he would, he would he would feel compelled to correct some things in the world. But yeah, I hope you weren't too mistreated on your journey here, a Shami said, turning his back to him. We wouldn't want a famous were hero victimized by how did you put it in your interviews? Barbarians? Brett kept his mouth ship. He knew how this would go, and he knew that the taunting

presaged something far more frightening. Instead of listening to a Shami's monologue, Brett quietly scanned the room for tools, anything he could use. He almost didn't notice when a Shami turned back around thrust his face just inches from his own. God, damn it, that's a bad sentence. He almost didn't notice when a Shami turned back around, Comma, thrust his face just inches from his own. Chee Christ Yeah, okay. Brett could smell his breath the faint vestiges of Cello koresh

still on it. General Hawthorne a Shami said, I know you and that you are a resourceful man. I also know that your country is a paper tiger and that your president is a weakling. Weaklings watches the world burns around them, thinking they are safe because they have a mirror and they are lost in the reflection. But the fuck is that ship. That's fucking nonsense. His fucking nonsense. Which one of you just snorted, Adora party, I think

I think this chapter might kill Cody. I don't know that he's going to make it out of this, I just said Katia text. I was like, I think this is the happiest I've seen Cody and Robert in like a mom. This is really cleansing my soul. A bit hard to have a profound thought and articulated so much, so great. This is why your country will lose. Finally, Brett spoke, America doesn't lose. We just convinced ourselves not to win. You will lose. We don't have to take

beheadings to frighten people into joining us. Quite a pair a lot of things being expressed there. Ben, Oh my god, A Shami, to Brett's surprise, laughed up roariously clapped his hands into light. That was one sentence. A Shami to Brett's surprise, A Shami kama. To Brett's surprise, Comma laughed uproariously. Comma clapped his hands in delight. Period. Fucking hell. Oh you Americans, you don't understand it all. You're delightfully out of touch. I mean delightfully until you stop start dropping

incendiaries on our children. You spend your life's fat and happy eating at McDonald's, imagining yourself superior because you have clean shopping malls and manicured front lawns. Have you ever been to a shopping mall in this part of the anyway? But while you sleep, But while you sleep, while you watch your reality television. Your children abandoned like you Americans in your food and your your streets. You Americans have streets, and we don't like Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, your children

abandon you. No matter how many patriot missiles she sinned against us, YadA, YadA, YadA. You see, we offer something you do, not a reason to die. We need not frighten anyone. You do the frightening, because you see, people are not frightened to die or to be killed. Down deep down, deep they are afraid of dying without that

death meaning any thing. They are afraid that they will die, and that a life of playing Xbox and watching your American movies and eating your American food and worshiping themselves will end in the ground and their lives forgotten. And of course they are right. Their lives are meaningless, Brett scoffed, and yours, I suppose, are meaningful. Slaughtering women and children. A Shammi grabbed Brett by his face, squeezing his jaw until it hurt. Brent Brett clenched his teeth and stared

into his eyes. Oh my god, Ben, Bret Brett clenched his teeth, referring to Brett's teeth and stared into his eyes referring to a Shammie. God damn it, bit, God damn. Like it's sort of like it washes over you and you're like, surely it'll makes sense fine, but like, ah, we will do anything for a law. That is our strength and your weakness. Brett whispered, there, you're wrong. You don't know me, and you don't know my countrymen. We

live for something. We live to kill bastards like you. That, yeah, that's what makes America great is murdering strangers in the desert. Yeah, Ben gets it. I mean for some people. Yeah, I guess it is. He's nailing it, like it's just amazing you. He's like, yeah, this is the way it is, and it's actually good. Actually yeah, because the guy, the bad guy, is saying like you live for nothing, like by killing you, we live for something. And Brett says that's not true.

We live for killing you, and that's like it so good. Oh God, It's like like he he can't. He will never be able to realize what he just did. In the hands of like a minimally competent author, you could have this be trying to say something where it's like, oh, both of these men are the same kind of man who feel and yet a mirror of paragraph earlier, like you're you're already evoking this idea, but he doesn't even know that he's doing it. Yeah, you have like things

are complicated. I want like a minimally competent writer, not even a good writer, like just a writer who had like a second thought, yeah, a single additional just like and that thought would be like what if I wanted to try to make this mildly interesting, just like the bare minimum of an interesting scene. Oh God, I like it.

So the Shami sends General Hawthorne away, turns to his goons and has him taken to a cell, and like through crack in the window, Brett sees a tower, um and it lets him know exactly where he is in Tehran Um because of that dirty scene. Briefly, I recognized the dirty tower from my dirty nap, the filthy, filthy tower, the scumb tower. Come next to the dirty tower, mud street. Goddamn it. Uh. They came for him in the middle of the night, the better to keep him off balance.

He'd been trained for such techniques, but too long ago to matter, and he'd awoken groggy, head pounding, nauseated by the casual beating. Hand it out to him by one of a Shami's Lackey's quite a sentence there, ben Um. No marks to the face. Of course they're wanted. They wanted their victims looking fresh and clean before they saw it off their heads. But the big bearded kid had worked his torso over pretty well and ground the bones of his arm against one another to boot yusef. He'd

heard one of the others call Umn. He wouldn't forget that anytime soon. Every time Yusef had bawled up his fist and driven it into his mid section, Brett had again, every time Yousef bawled up his fist, Yusef's fist and driven it into his midsection, Brett's mid section, like God, so frustrating us. Also like I love, like we we make sure they're they're they're nice and clean to remind

us of what we hate. Yeah, Ben a man who's clearly watched again a single video of one of these executions, like uh, they'd taken his uniform from him, forced him into an orange jumps suit, the unifor him of their victims. When he'd gone to the bucket that served as a toilet, he'd noticed his urine had turned red, like Ali, he thought to himself after the thriller. But Ali had survived that. Talking about fucking Mohammed Alie, I guess pissing blood. Okay,

I don't. It hasn't been established that Bret's a big Muhammad Ali fan. I think that's just coming out of nowhere. But okay, this is the literary device that's happening. Yeah, because be's a literary Yeah, so uh, Brett's plans not to survive. He'd formed a plan after seeing the Azadi Tower, engaging the distance from it, realizing that uh, that map that he got earlier had I don't know, So he's

I don't I don't really follow Ben's plan here. Um, but it seems like, uh, he blinked a message to the boys and intelligence when he did his video, and he's hoping that uh Jesus Christ. Um, he hoped that the boys and intelligence picked up on the message that he'd be sending. So he's, oh, he's planning to as he's being executed, blink out the core ordinance of where the this terrorist's headquarters are in Tehran so that it

can be bombed. Yeah, based off I see the tower where I am, I know where I am in relationship, I memorized in my head what the geographical coordinance are and I can now blink them. Yes, Yes, I love I love stories. Yes. He just hoped that the boyson intelligence picked up on the message he'd be sending, and he prayed that the film editor or whatever cave dweller familiar with windows movie makers using for this particular production

didn't chop up the film do badly. Fucking hell whatever whatever fucking dirty MSPaint fucking like Oh god, uh so, yeah, they joke, because the terrorists joke is that kick him away. You all out of your hole and downloaded whatever stev hell monster to edit this. Oh god. Um. So they tell Brett that he's going to be in a movie now, and Brett muttered, through gritted teeth, fuck you and your mother. Yusef smiled. Brett smiled back. Also your goat, he added,

God damn it, ben Um. The door at the end of the hallway swung open, waiting before a green flag sat a sham me, his face bared normally in these videos, Brett new the terrorists like to swatch their faces and black scarves to prevent identification. For the jihad video of a major American general, a shami wanted to take personal credit. Yusef and his buddy deposited Brett next to a Shami on his knees. General said a Shami, looking down at Brett,

I hope your accommodations were not too primitive. I must say you look somewhat the worse for wear. No, said Brett, glancing at Yusef. Nothing I couldn't handle ah. Ever, the tough American, Well, the good news is that you're suffering will not last much longer years either, bit, said Brett. But I will not suffer a Shami said placidly. Remember I serve a lot, and no matter what happens, he will be with me. I only hope he's with all the different pieces of you after we nail your ass

with the hell Fire missile. Any plans I don't know about, general, Brett smiled back. Maybe maybe not. You'll find out soon enough. They get down to the business of of of killing Brett Hawth. Oh boy, testicles come up here. Let's see what happening. UM, let me be perfectly clear. You will cooperate. If you say anything we don't wish you to say, I will personally cut off your testicles. If you do anything we do not wish you to do, I will cut off your testicles and then I will slash your

throat after letting you bleed. Yeah. Yeah, because this guy's begin to cutting testicles off of people. Um, he could have said it them like this is this is one of those situations where like he could have used the non specific and then the second time I cut them off like simple stuff. So they film it and I guess they're not killing him. Um. Yeah, so that's nice. Um. They take him back to his cell. Uh. And so yeah, he gets down on his knees. He does something he

hasn't done for years. He gets down on his knees and praise Um Jesus, uh dear Lord. He whispered to the darkness, thick with the stinch of feces and urine, oppressive, with the smell of sweat. You know what he's saying. Yeah, yeah, that's just breat Hawthorne has been shipping so much in itself.

Can't stand it. I love, I can't, Okay, yeah, so it's good smell smell, the smell of ship and pisses overwhelming, absolutely, But then what does he say at the second time, that's even in there for a day by the way, Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, I can't. I just can't breathe with all my days worth of piss and ship. But like then the second thing he says is the impressive sweat. What you're worried about the sweat? You mentioned the piss and the ship, but like, the sweat is

the thing that so Brett Hawthorne starts to pray. I know I haven't spoken with you for a while, but I need you now. I may never forgive you for what you did to my Ellen while you took our baby from us. They say you have a logic all your own, and I reckon that's the case, since I sure as hell can't understand you were the things you do. I know I've tried to do the right thing as I see it, and I haven't broken too many of

the lessons I learned in Sunday School. And you know better than anybody that I've never been one for prayer. I always thought that some people treat you like a gumball machine, like if they pray just the right way and say just the right things, that you'll give them what they want. And then when when this whole world is about something bigger than what any of us want, it's about what you want. And I do hope that I've done at least a few things the way you

want them. Really trying to get my head around this here is like you're anoy do bad things. Also, it's dumb when people pray to you about their own personal off because clearly what matters is what you the guy that I've just said, I don't understand why you're so mean wants I don't know, but that's my issues with Christianity. I mean again, it's just like he's just like typing so he can, like I'll get to a profound thought. Surely. Yeah, I'm just gonna say now, I'm not praying for myself.

I'm praying for Ellen because after all this, she's going to be alone. Lord, and I just wanted to be happy. You took her children away from her. Maybe I took myself away from her, but however it worked out. Now she'll be on her own. Please let her find someone else. Please let her be happy for once in her life. Please let my sweetheart go on with her life. Let her understand what I've done and why I've done it. Thank you Lord in advance. Amen. Brett closed his eyes

and dropped into an uneasy sleep. And that is the end of the chapter. Thank God. Oh goddamn, so unpleasant, unbelievable, shocking, goat prayer, bread, painful, painful prose. I don't think I've ever been it put in such physical pain as a result of the writing that somebody has that I have read. Yeah, and briefly for a second there, I kid you not. My brain went, Robert, why are you doing this to us? That's the only reasonable feeling when you read been Shapiro's

work for even a moment. Oh it was fun though. We had fun. We did. We had a good time. And we've got so much more of this book left to look forward to. Yeah, we're barely amount of it. I can't wait to see what collapses. Yeah, part three, maybe there's a part four even, you know, if we're lucky. Yeah, I think we're gonna have to. I we're gonna have to go through all this, this entire book. You're right that we do have to. We're gonna have to go

through it, really, really go through this book. I'm going to have to absorb more of it with my ears. And I feel, I feel, I feel fundamentally changed. Is a human being? Um, you know, I was. I was feeling kind of broken down from all of the relentless uh police violence. Uh. Getting maced in the face directly last night wasn't super fun. Um it's been. It's been. It's been tough, and I feel rejuvenated in a way that I didn't know was possible. It looks like life

has been breathed back into you. That glow, that yellow glow in your eye that you get only comes from trying to diagram a sentence and figure out what the fuck Bin Shapiro mid when he was writing it. So, uh, do you guys want to plug your plug goobles? Yeah? Check out our show together, Worst You Ever, and check out and check out Cody and Katie's podcast Even More News. Yeah on most Fridays, right right, Katie Fridays. Yep, that's right Fridays, and our YouTube show comes out sometimes sometimes

it's called some More News. Um, we've got a Patreon Google. Our names were on the internet Twitter wise, Patreon more like Treon and that was really good. You can fight, you can. You guys can follow Katie and Cody on the Twitter and Instagram at Dark Dr Mr Cody and at Katie Stoole. You can follow this podcast at Bastard's Pod on Twitter and Instagram. You can follow Robert and I Right, okay, we have a t public store where we have new Uh what is it? What is the new?

The new the new merk? We are, Robert, what did we get it to say? Oh, it's a it's a. It's a face mask that says f d A guaranteed to prevent all diseases. Um. So that is it is a legal guarantee that the FDA will back um. And if they don't, they can attack me in my mountaintop compound with fire bombs from the sky and that's amazing. You can also gets or whatever they sell website to get the shirt and you go to like the grocery store and someone like you can't come in here without

a mask, Like, we'll look at my fucking shirt. It's FDA approved. Could I have this with? If it weren't FDA approved? Note, they would raid the mountaintop compound of whoever produced this and burn seventies something children to death and his basically getting very Alex Jones. Um. Anyways, that's the episode. That is the episode Your Hands E E