Episode 120 | Flick The Bean

Music. It's Beer Man Beer, the podcast streaming in your ear about comedy, concerts, and beer.

Follow us on Instagram at Beer Man Beer Pod. Give us a five-star review on iTunes. Let us know if you love or hate us. My name is Johnny Benson, and across from me is the incomparable Keg Kettles. And we got the band back together, ladies and gentlemen, because also with us is... She's a hot blonde chick with big boobs too. She doesn't care if she offends.

Music. You She's fast with the funny and quick with the wit When it comes to beer, she really knows her shit Breezy's here, Breezy's here Grab a cold one and get yourself in gear, Breezy's here, Breezy is here So put on your two-star and tell us how's the beer, Thanks, it's good to be back. Welcome home, Keg Kettles. Great to see you. We got the band back together again.

It was bound to happen. Bound to happen. Bound to happen. what have you guys been up to i was living life man living life living the dream everything good with you breezy yeah you're looking thirsty i am very thirsty we'll crack open a beer and uh let's catch up with all things breeze what do we got there keg kettles oh that was good timing. Oh yeah we got ourselves an ozzy osbourne beer, Called Saucy Sawsborne. Saucy Sawsborne, man. I like it.

I like it. Tell us all about that beer, Kettles. I don't know. You got it. I did get it right. That's right. I did. I got this in New York. Let me pull up a little information on this beer, man. Beer. It has the beautiful can. It has the black with the white polka dots. And it has the lettering of the great Ozzy Osborne. So I figured this has to be a rock and roll beer, right? Right, Breezy? Does it look delicious just from the can? Yeah,

it looks pretty good. I'm excited. If you're into Randy Rhoads. Aha! This is from Swiftwater Brewery. It is a Pilsner. Pilsner hopped with all NYS Saz hops. Yes, and we looked up what Saz hops are, and they, what's the word I'm looking for? Hail from the Czech Republic. The Czech Republic. So it's Czechoslovakian style beer over here. Let me grab a cup here and pour some for the great keg kettle. Listen, it hasn't been Czechoslovakia for a long time, Johnny Benson.

This is why the American geography is shit. I didn't pay much attention to school. Look at that beer. It looks like a champagne almost. Look how clean that is. You're clean. Nice formation of head. It looks like it's got little bubbles. Not a lot of lacing though. I hope it's not laced. Going for sniffed out breezy. Breezy, you were always... And she's a comedian. You were always amazing at sniffing a beer and telling us all what was inside and the ingredients.

What do you think that's filled with there? What do I think it's filled with? Yeah. Yeast, barley, and hops. That'll do it. All right. I guess we'll have to go in for a taste. Go ahead, Breezy. Ladies first. Go in for a taste. There you go. Breezy's... It's light. Again, a nice biscuity kind of a smell to it. Ooh, a biscuity, like more of a KFC biscuit or a red lobster. You know, both good biscuits. Good biscuits, yeah. I don't know.

Every time someone says something smells biscuity, I always think yeasty. You know what? If it's yeasty, it's got a problem. Yeah, it does. True story. I have to bring up our good friend Mika Jean actually kicked out one of her foster kids because he ate all the red lobster biscuits in the kitchen. I didn't know that was grounds for kicking out a foster kid. I think she only kicked them out for like an hour. They're like the cheddar biscuits. Biscuits. Cheddar, Chesapeake Bay cheddar

biscuits or something to that effect. Yeah, yeah. Wow, this is really light and easy to drink. This reminds me about like the old school Michelobes back in the day. It's too easy to drink. I know, man. Well, it's a good appetizer. A good appetizer? Mm-hmm. My husband, everywhere we go, he always gets calamari. Always. I'm not against that. Kettle's all, of course, does not like anything that swims. swims, but I think this is definitely a good starter beer.

Well, if goats or sheep or cows, if they swim, that'll eat them. Oh. As far as I go. Oh, so you eat the swimming beef. Cows do swim. I've seen it. Then that's exactly what I'll be eating. Speaking of beef, it's been a while. Have you heard about anything from the beefalo that you brought up a few episodes back? No, but it went to one of those fancy hipster farms, so I'm sure some white girl in some Some farmland is really enjoying it. All right. So you don't think the beefalo turned into steaks?

No, it didn't. Excellent. All right. Wow, that's a throwback. Well, you've been on many episodes, Bree. This is true. Do you know how many episodes you've been on? No. I'm thinking this is number 10. Maybe. Well. He only took a tally. Did he really? Yeah, he did. Well, I know I am the only guest that has their own theme song. Yes, yes. If you have your own theme song, you are right. Now, there's- Well, wait. I would like to say that you just snuck in that my last name now is Lopez.

It used to be Hiltz. Yes. Now I'm a Lopez. You are a Lopez, yes. So I'm brie with adobo. Uh-huh. Oh, spicy. That's a spicy breeze. Now, we're coming up on the anniversary, right? Yes, on the 28th of this month of January. Are you celebrating somehow? Are you getting any trips or anything? We're actually going to Colorado. We're leaving this weekend. I'm very excited. Oh, good beer in Colorado.

Yeah. We're going to go to some nice restaurant for our anniversary or whatever, but it'll be a good time. You know, I'm excited. Excellent. Keg Kettles, you've been to any good restaurants? Hmm. No. I'm trying to get my feet wet again on this whole podcasting thing. Well, have a little bit of beer, man. You got any more? Oh, there's plenty, yeah. Plenty. We got a... So what's the ABV on this? I'll check that as soon as I'm done pouring.

Thank you. Guarantee you it's like a 4.2. It shouldn't be too much. I can't see for sure because I don't have my glasses breezed. You take a look. You have better eyesight than I do? Whoa, 5.1. 5.1, we're wild tonight. Interesting. Wow. Definitely. I wasn't expecting that. Does it taste like a head of a bat? No. A head of a bat. Oh, yeah, because he- Because he did eat the head off of a bat. Yeah, he did. He did. That's crazy. No, it doesn't, which is a little disappointing.

I believe we could drink about 20 of these and we'll be fine. It's nice, smooth, and tasty, but I think- 20 of these and be fine? I think so. Really? I don't know. It kind of seems like it's a challenge. Well, we only have four. I think we need to get 20 of them or 40 of them and see how far we can go. 20 a piece. They're really easy to drink. They got really easy to drink. It is. Yeah, I'll go with crushable. Refreshing.

Very tasty. Yeah. I wouldn't get it on tap anywhere, though, if I saw it on tap. I would prefer to get it and just keep it in my fridge. You know how there's some beers- Just as a showpiece? Well, you know how there's some beers that you specifically will get that are on tap and then there's other ones where you're like, it's not worth it? Oh, totally, yeah. Yeah. Well, I guess if you went to that brewery. Yeah, that's different. That's one of those, yeah. But that's different, though.

Like, if I went to a regular bar here that has craft beer and it had it on tap, I'd be like, I'm not drinking a Pilsner tonight. That's not why I'm out. Is craft beer really craft beer anymore? No. No. It changed like everything else does, you know?

It's become very commercialized especially when you have all these big conglomerates crap domestic man yeah but uh i just feel like sometimes when you go to certain breweries they all taste the same yeah you know yeah i do understand what you're saying and why do they keep closing at eight o'clock where did you go that closed at eight o'clock i was out on a saturday night and i went to go what was it called rivet or whatever

is that what it was I thought it was a relic. Relic. Relic. That's the one. Rivet. Relic. It closed so early. Like, I just don't understand that. Well, you had a witch doctor around the corner. Yeah. Yeah. But we didn't end up going there. We went to the Groggy Frog. The Groggy Frog. What did you have at the Groggy Frog? I got some wings and I had a gin and tonic. Oh, man.

And do you know that, I think it was Michelob or Miller or something, they make these little tiny beers that are like chubbies. Ponies? I guess. I don't know. it was like my friend got one and i was like that's just so little and cute i want one too it's the gayest thing i've ever said. Music.

Oh yeah, all right we're gonna take a break come back with some more beers more breezy more of the great keg kettles and more of me. Music. We have some smooth beer to go with this.

Okay, Kettles is here. And so is Brie Lopez. That's me. And we're tasting some beer. How strange is it to say Brie Lopez? It's a little strange, man. It's a little strange to hear that even. It is. Why is that? Well, I'm not fooled by the rocks that you got. I know you're still breezy from the block. Yeah. Or something like that. The valley block. The valley block. Crack that beer. What do we got? We have ourselves a Jack's Abbey craft lager.

This is called the Smokin' Dagger. It's a smoke black lager. Now, Jack's Abbey is out of Framingham, Massachusetts. Nice, nice. Have you spent much time up there, Breeze? Massachusetts or Framingham? Either one. I try to avoid Massachusetts at all costs. Really? Yeah, I'm not a fan. Not a fan. Look at that. Wow, what a beer. That is black as night. Look at the head on that. It's so good. That is a head. That's a head of all heads. Yeah, it is. Nice head. Oh, yeah, very dark in color.

Hold on, let me see, let me see. How dark is it, Breeze? Oh, so dark that a white girl with a liberal arts degree wants to gentrify it. Nice. Excellent. How about that? That's major darkness there, I suppose. So this smoked lager, traditional old school, old world ingredients and cutting edge lagering techniques. I got to say, I was up there, I don't know, back in 2015 maybe. And great tap room, really cool brewery to go play.

Absolutely. I've never been there. And the great thing is they're all lagers. And then they have Springdale, which is their ale line. Oh. I'm going to go in for a little sip. Yeah, I think the smoke flavor is perfect on this. It's not overpowering. It's just. This tastes like campfire. You know when you're standing around a campfire and then your clothes smell like it for forever until you wash them?

It's been a while since I've had this. And I wanted to kind of get back into something other than IPAs. Yeah yeah yeah and i'm digging it and yeah that definitely that that real campy smoky smoke fire yeah that's nice it's a nice uh but the head retention is crazy yeah got a lot of head in there that's good i do like it it's really jack's abby hit that one out of the park and it's smooth yeah yeah and that's what's really nice about it so this comes in at 5.6 abv with but 25 IVUs.

And you know what's really impressive about it is that it's a lager with so much flavor. Lagers don't always have the, like they're not, when I think of flavorful beers, lagers aren't really on my thought process. What is on the thought process when you think of flavorful beers?

Can you pass me that can, please? Yeah. I think about like stouts and porters, you know, because they're usually, a lot of people play with the different flavors of stouts and porters with like coffee flavoring, vanilla flavoring i mean look at southern tier they have that whole line of beers where it's just like creme brulee banana blah blah blah all that stuff pumpkin medicine i was gonna say don't forget about the pumpkin oh my

gosh but they taste terrible because they use like the fake flavor the essence flavor rather than the natural flavor and this tastes like that natural smoky nutty flavor that you want from i like it it's really really good i can definitely see sitting by a campfire, Inhaling one of these with a cigar. Oh, yeah. I'd even enjoy it with a nice piece of salmon. Ooh. I wouldn't drink a dark beer with salmon. I'm different. Maybe a nice bloody steak.

Yeah. Ooh, there you go. Yeah. Medium dead and a nice tater next to it. So, Keg, I'm going to Colorado on Saturday, and we're having dinner at a place that serves elk steaks. Elk steaks? Yeah. Never had elk. Yeah. Well, I've had elk, but not elk steaks. What's the difference in the flavor? I have no idea. Like, it tastes like venison. It's just a different type of venison.

I've never had venison. You've never had venison? No. The last time I had venison, I think I was being poisoned, but that's a whole other story. I have a bath strap and some ground venison in my freezer right now. Oh. Yeah. I think I was being poisoned. I'm just saying. Oof. Oof. Venison is actually really tasty when you know how to cook it right. And that's exactly it. Wasn't cooked right. This wasn't cooked right. And I became violently ill.

Was there a deer chicken or something? But no one else at the table was ill except for me. Oh, that's a conspiracy right there. Oh, no. That sounds interesting. And Johnny knows the rest of the story. Did you poop a lot? No. Oh. I was throwing up violently.

Oof. like exorcist style it was bad rough and then i just put myself to bed oh man that sounds like a bad time that's too bad yeah because this this would go really great with some venison because it is a very venison's a very hearty red meat and it's got a lot of flavor to it i'm good this is tasty really good hey breezy i think the last time you were here do you say something about having a throw down with just alpaca i'm making pies

i did say that actually what i did i did say that i would totally totally throw down to make some pies my pie crust that i make is freaking.

I don't know man i thought she was going to start talking about her pie no not half pie no i'm talking about like pecan and apple pie dessert pie no when i talk about that i call it my muffin so you know you know a nice blueberry muffin blueberry muffin for the blueberry crumble mine's more like a pineapple muffin oh yeah are you keeping up on your pineapple intake of course of course. You want any more? Because I'm going to finish this. No, you go ahead.

Go ahead. Have it, man. There's some other stuff over there that I definitely want to encourage you. Like that pickle beer. Pickle beer. Yeah. I can't believe you got the pickle beer. I'm excited about it. Listen, I saw it and I thought, you know what? We're jumping back into the game. Let's do it. Let's go hard. Let's hit it right. Yeah. Oh, man. I love pickles. Pickles are so good. Oh, I think we've had types of pickled beer before. I know we've done a few pickle shots. Well,

not quite like that, Breezy. No penis was had on that one. No, no, no, no. That was solely... That's the wrong kind of pickle. That's not the hard pickle he's talking about. That was solely the Breeze. All Breezy. My husband loves that sound. Or was it we had watermelon beer that tasted like pickle? Any man. Well, most. Most men would like that sound. Yes, yes. Yes, depending on how they identify. Man, this is really good beer. So good. I love it. Jax, Abby, thank you.

Could you pull out your snooty douche scarf and describe what that beer tastes like? Oh, this feels like I'm sitting across the fire as I slowly look at the snow-capped mountaintops of Vail, Colorado. And I drove up here in my daddy's Range Rover and I feel that nuttiness like a chestnut in my mouth. Nice. If that doesn't get you to run out through a total lines. That was like the douchiest thing I've ever said. That was the douchiest douche scarf of all time. I like it. Oh my God.

I'm glad I picked this. It was a very good pick. Very good pick. Now, do we need a rinse before we have a pickle beer? Are we going to do the pickle beer next? Do you want to tease it until the end? Do you want to save it? Yeah, always tease the pickle. Well. Hey, how about them Mets, huh? How about them cannonballs? Oh, God, no cannonballs. Yeah, I didn't bring out the cannonball, man. I don't know what's wrong with you, Kay. See, it's been so long, we forgot to bring out the cannonball.

Bring out the cannonball. And for anybody listening who doesn't know what we're talking about, cannonball is time when we do a shot. Shot, shot, shot, shot, shot. I think what we're going to have to do on the next break. Yeah, I think that's a good idea. At least for solidarity, we'll do one. We'll do one. We'll do a cannonball. All right. Man, that's really good beer. That was really good.

Hey, Breezy, were you distraught when you saw the Oscar nominations and found out that Cocaine Bear was not nominated? Yes. Right? That's terrible. I know there was an uproar about Oscar nominations today, and I'm pretty sure it was all about Cocaine Bear. Did you catch that? Uproar? Yes, I got it. I got it. Ladies and gentlemen, Johnny Benson with the dad jokes. Waka, waka, waka. Right? That was the big deal, right? That's what people were pissed about?

Sure. They really missed the salmon boat on that one. So what I'm getting is, and maybe it's just me. Maybe. But you don't have a life. You have to watch these- I don't watch that shit. These programs. Yeah. I'm just saying. Just in general, people in general. Not us sitting at this table, but people in general. They really care a lot about it. Hollywood blows. It does. Hollywood blows and the movies blow just as much. Oh, my God. We all saw, like, of course it blows. Harvey Weinstein.

You didn't blow Harvey Weinstein, did you? No, my goodness. But I'm just saying the evidence is there. And how corrupt Hollywood is. Yeah. And yet people jump on this bandwagon of, oh, the Oscars and, oh, the Grammys and the Emmys and Broadway nonsense and Tony's. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Broadway. Ugh, still. Don't talk about Broadway. Breezy, as a star of the stage, you just finished a production, right? I did.

I was in Nuncrackers at the Thomaston Opera House. And how did it go? It went very well. Well, I'm very excited because one of the shows I'm going to try out for next season is called the 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. That's a show? Yeah, it is. It's really funny. They have a song called... That's the title. That's the title. It's a very funny show. I promise you. All right, we'll go. I'm sorry I missed the last one. Oh, it's okay. It's just about a bunch of weird,

wacky nuns. Well, so was the last one you were in, right? Sound of Music? That's not about weird, wacky nuns. That's about World War II Nazis. I thought you were playing a weird, wacky nun in the Sound of Music. No, I'm just weird and wacky who got cast as a nun. Do you still have your nudie suit from there? Of course I do. And in this last one, I wore a black suit. Watch out.

Or you're an incisor actor. it was nun crackers and they wouldn't let me show my i had to wear a habit like a full-blown habit and because i had tattoos i had to wear what is your full-blown habit a spilling beer i guess that was keg. It was just a pre-excitement oh my goodness but no there's nothing in there yes we drank it all, but no it was a really good show i had a lot of fun i played a character who was from the south and her nickname was Amnesia because she lost her memory

from a crucifix falling on her head. Oh, that'll do it. That would do it. Yeah. And I got to do a lot of my own crowd work in the show. So I got to write my own crowd work when I went out into the audience, which was really fun, you know, doing because of stand-up comedy. Well, because you're a stand-up comic, yeah.

Yeah. Oh, speaking of, I actually am going to be teaching a comedy workshop class at the Thomaston Opera House starting in February for senior citizens, sends which should be a great time oh i have to go i have to see this can i sign up my parents, oh my god mel's got the jokes man oh that's good stuff no but um but i was what i was saying before with the astros i guess people are pissed off because. Ken got nominated for an Oscar and Barbie didn't. Is that what the deal was?

I have no idea. I didn't even see that stupid movie. Like, I don't know. Anything that throws feminism in your face, I just want to vomit. Like, I just think it's absolute brainwashing of women and it disgusts me and I want no part of it. Johnny? Yeah. Did you see that movie? I did see that movie. You did. I did. I did. I went with all the kids. Now, when you walk, does your butthole whistle? A little bit.

It was the andy griffith theme song oh my god that is such a great theme song how dare you desecrate that theme song with with butt sex.

That was a silly movie well gomer pile he took it daddy oh yeah yeah yeah gomer pile he was playing for the other team too was it i guess it goes with the last name right it was jim neighbors, oh my goodness did you see any movies you thought should have gotten an award this year oppenheimer you saw it was good so good i didn't see it so good i love that actor he's i always forget his name robert downey jr no it's like killiam or something yeah he's because i love I love Peaky Blinders,

so, you know, that. Who? In Peaky Blinders. What's that? The actor who's in Peaky Blinders was in Oppenheimer. I've never heard of that movie either. You didn't hear of Oppenheimer? Listen, I don't watch that crap. No, but I really feel like you would like Oppenheimer. I don't like anything.

Have you not met me? I was just going to say, I know I've met you. I was literally going to say that. Keg enjoys watching the Love Boat reruns. Well, and the Honeymooners. Friends. Seinfeld. I hate Friends. Happy Days. Laverne and Shirley. Okay. How's that? All right. I really. What's that? Three's Company? No, I can't watch that. It's just really corny. But the thing, I can't recall the last time I went to a movie.

Well, you don't have to go to the movies anymore. You just wait for it to come out on streaming platforms. No desire to watch really, sorry, any movies. Really? Yeah. Interesting. I just watched. I just love watching them fail. Yeah, that's always fun. That's my favorite. I will tell you, I did just watch a movie about why the whole trial that occurred that gave police officers the whole Miranda rights thing about the guy Miranda.

It was the U.S. versus Miranda, and that's why the police officers have to read the Miranda rights because of the way that they arrested the guy that raped the girl. It's crazy. So was Miranda the girl that was raped? No, the guy who raped the girl, his last name was Miranda. Why wasn't it the girl's name?

This guy did something heinous. Horrible. Horrible. But yet he is now famous for doing that. Yeah. And every time something happens, a cop will say, I'm going to read you. Your Miranda rights. Your Miranda rights. Right? How fucked up is that? The guy's in every conversation. Yeah. Yeah. Is he still alive? I hope not. I hope not. Whew. Man. Time for a beer. Yeah. What's on tap? Crack one open there, Breezy. You got something to drink.

Okay, I'll crack one open. Hold on. Do we need a rinsed glass versus going from, I don't know. What do we go with? Well, since we were talking about gentrification, let's do seven is up. Make seven. Up yours. Oh, my goodness. It's from. What a great commercial that was. Make seven. Up yours. This is funny. Considering what we were talking about with the Miranda rights and all of that. Civil Society Brewing Company is who made this. What the hell about that? Oh, my goodness.

Equilibrium, I guess it says above that. This is a double IPA with a 7.7 alcohol per volume, or ABV, if you will. Keep cold, drink fresh. Where is it from? Brewed and canned at Equilibrium Brewery. Oh, Middletown, New York. Okay. Okay. Okay. So- So far, we've had Massachusetts, a liberal state, and now New York, another liberal state. We live in a liberal state. And that's exactly where I was going. Yeah. Ready? Man, we are surrounded. Oh. Ooh.

Wow. Hell of a- I popped it. That's a good pop. I popped. Yeah. All right, drink up. Breeze, you got to lick off that last bit of dark beer. Oh. Oh, boy. All right. Here we go. Ready? It looks like Mountain Dew. Oh, man. Here you go. Your turn. You want to get that cup of beer here? Oh. Hold on. Yeah, I got to get that. Okay. Get that dark beer out. Man, that was some good dark beer, man. A little IPA. A double IPA.

Doubly bubbly. It's hazy? Yeah, you can't see through it. Oh, it smells nice, though. Got a nice floral citrus coming through. I'm looking forward to the mouthfeel. Why is your head completely gone, but yet I have a lot of head? Because I always pour it on the side. If you pour it straight down, it's a lot of head. It's my fault. I fucked up the pour. If you tilt it a little bit, it's not a lot of head. No. No. I think that looks fine, Johnny B.

All right. You did a great job. I appreciate it. It's just in how you pour it. Now, there is something about the pour when it comes to the gases that go in and the gases when you turn it on the side that the gases are released. Yeah. But it's also with how you digest it and the gases that are in your stomach as well. Yep. Yeah. This is true. And it's also about the shape of the glass too. Yes, it is. See, our glasses are different. We're all different. We all got different glasses. Yeah.

This is good though. Did you sip it? Mine is bulbous. Smells nice though. I love the smell. It's nice. For a double IPA, it's- I guess some grapefruit that comes through that. Really? Yeah. I would say for a double IPA, it doesn't have as crunchy as a taste that I was expecting. It's light for a double IPA. I think it's a little boozy. It is very boozy. It's a little boozy. But the hop flavor is not like in your face. It's not a punch in the throat. It's not like drinking sandpaper.

That was nice. I do enjoy it. I was skeptical. I got to tell you guys. I will say it's a little chewy. Yeah, chewy? Could be a little chewy, yeah. Well, I wouldn't say it's chewy in the aspect of the hot flavor. I would say it's chewy in the consistency of it. Yeah, yeah. It'll be filling if you have a couple of these, it might be good. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, you're going to sit down at a bar or in your living room or around a fire or on the back porch and play some banjo.

Yeah, I don't know if I'd even, I think one can would fill me up. It's almost kind of like a juicy hazy style you know what i mean you want to top you off no i'm okay i'm all current thorns johnny would you pass me that can please thank you sir. Oh, I'm just looking at the can. I thought we were going to say something. I was waiting. I was waiting. I was on the edge of my seat, Ken. Well, what's the significance of the can? It has a- I was ready for it.

It's like a parody of the 7-Up can, right? Make 7-Up yours. Yeah, there is a little bit of a parody, but I would understand that there's some kind of a trademark or- Sure, yeah. Something- Some blurred lines. Yeah. 7.7% ABV. Even that's kind of mild for a dollar. I was going to say, that's kind of low for a double IPA. I've had IPAs that were that. Yeah. You know, I'm trying to think if I've ever had equilibrium. It doesn't sound like a brewery that I've had before.

I don't think we've had it on the show. I mean, I could be wrong. We've had so many beers. It's hard to go back and look. I don't know if we'd find it. But it doesn't ring a bell. I mean, I've heard of them before. I've just never, I don't believe I've had them before. This was I bought these at the halftime package store in Mamaroneck today Mary Mac is that how you say it I think so Mary Mac yeah, Mamaroneck Mamaroneck right Mamaroneck that's how it's spelled yeah whatever raising.

You know what I'm talking about I don't I never do. It has a nice floral smell to it it is I do have to say that it is nice but it's hazy as F AF. Hazy AF, man. Hazy AF. Oh, they got the QR code on the can too. I guess I could send it to their website or where you could find some equilibrium beers. Yeah, that's definitely a one and done. Yeah. I couldn't drink two of those. No. Because it's very sweet. Yeah, you know, you're right about that. It's really, really sweet.

There is a sweetness that does come through. It's very sweet. The sweetness becomes overpowering after you finish drinking it. You know, I just thought of Fruity Pebbles. Fruity Pebbles. Oh, I devoured a box last night. Did you really? I did. I haven't had Fruity Pebbles in forever. There was a flavor that I have on my palate. I was going to say on my mouth, but it's kind of gay. So on my palate. In the back of my throat, there's a flavor. It reminded me of Fruity Pebbles.

That's all I have to say. All right. Well, on that note. Ah. I know. I smell a cannonball coming up when we come back. Yeah, we got to do a cannonball. Got to do a cannonball, right? Can't not do a cannonball with Brie Lopez's here. Hey, we got more beers. Music. Oh, yeah.

She is cute. I'm dumb. She's Breezy Lopez. She's here to drink some beer with Keg Kettles and me. I thought it said I'm drunk. Well, that too. She's cute. Yeah, it did say that, didn't it? I'm drunk. But you are dumb, so it's okay. Well, the song is called I'm Dumb. Oh. That's Mongo out of... Come on, Johnny has his good qualities. Atlanta, Georgia. Mongo, like from Blazing Saddles? Kind of like that. More like Caveman Mongo. That's Mongo from Blazing Saddles. Yeah.

I'm trying to put a thought together here. So Mongo. Yeah.

What other show was Mongo in? Webster. Of course. Did you know that? No. He was George Papadopoulos. Papadopoulos, yeah. Really? Yes, he was. Oh my goodness. Yeah. Get that one on Jeopardy, you'll get it right. And he was also a football player. I can't recall the team that he was on. But he was- Wasn't he a Chicago Bear? I don't believe he was. Duh, Bears. But the other Mongo was. Steve McMichaels. Speaking of football, who's I going to the bowl, Breezy?

Fucking Baltimore Ravens. What is the prediction? Baltimore Ravens in San Francisco, four to nine-as. Now, do you know that as fact? Well, I mean, according to all the conspiracies floating around on social media that you can tell by the logo and the colors that they spread across it. That's a hell of a system right there. Yeah. It's rigged. It is rigged. Everything in our lifetime is rigged. That's why I love pro wrestling. Yeah. That's rigged.

Well, at least they're honest about it. Yeah. But are they really honest about it? Sure. They came clean in the 90s. Yeah. McMahon announced it on TV. That it was a show? Yep. He did? Yep. Oh. Did you know that? No, I don't watch wrestling. You'd be a good wrestler, Breezy. Steel cage match. What would her name be? Breezy's not good enough for a wrestler? No. No? What would your wrestling name be? Uh-oh. Come on, Breezy. What would it be? It would be the cheese. The cheese. The cheese.

It ain't easy being cheesy. Oh, boy. Cannonball. Cannonball time. Cannonball. All right. Here we go. Cannonball. Cannonball. It's time for a shot. What? Oh, Keg can't even look at that. Wow. It's been so long since we've done a show. The Keg loss is opening the shot's strength. Oh, here we go.

I'm looking for my cup. Oh, we got our old school. All right. right so we're gonna do a shot of espresso martini all right now i bought this little kit around christmas time from walmart and all you had to do was add vodka to the bottle because it had all the adjuncts in it so i did it and based on the instructions that's only steep for like 48 hours until you drink it, I let it stay for a lot longer, and I tried it, and it's very potent. Oh, no. But it's not too impotent.

Kettle's trying to kill us. Dude, I'm telling you, it's like cough medicine. All right, we got it. It's like a Jägermeister kind of feel to it. I'm just saying. Will it keep the COVID away? It might. It might. All right, Johnny B., where's your glass? I don't know. It was in front. Oh, yeah. I couldn't even see it. You can see it right through these glasses. We still have these glasses. We still have those glasses. They're rose-colored. Yeah, rose-colored glasses.

These are some fruity dollar store shot glasses that we've had for years. The dollar general. Well, these are the shot glasses we take on a movie with us. Wait, that's a fucking bitch-ass little shot right there. What are you talking about? It's almost to the rim. No, it's not almost to the rim. It's a sailor bow. Look at that. You wouldn't know a rim job if it kicked you in the dick. Thank God. This completely went sideways.

The breeze all right so what are we gonna we're gonna chat i forgot how to do a shot what so cheers cheers guys here's to honor if you can't come in or come on honor did you see that post i posted the other day no oh yeah what was it on it was just what we had said it was on our stories and oh okay on instagram and the daughter of this couple, we're all going in for a cheers and she said it and the father was like what just happened here,

i don't know if it's something you want to say in front of your parents no not probably not anyway my brother taught me that cheers so to to a happy and healthy podcast in this 2024, year yeah to all the our past podcast friends who are no longer with us not because they passed away but because they just quit their podcasts uh i was gonna say where's that going but i know where that's going all right so when we started out yeah how many podcasts were

there in connecticut i'm just talking about connecticut Not just Connecticut, in Shelton, there was like 14, wasn't there? Yeah, it was something like that. But at the base of it all, there had to have been at least 10. 10, yeah. In Connecticut doing what we do. Yeah. Or thereabouts, what we do. Who's left? I don't know. They're all in the Betty Ford Clinic now. They're in podcast purgatory. Who's got the cheap seats? Not us. Cannonball.

Oh, my goodness. Well, that's exactly it. I'm so nervous about this. Woo! Wow, there was an echo in that one. Boo! Oh, Breezy. Oh, you got a bean! Oh, Breezy got a bean! Breezy's so interesting. Oh, man, it's good luck in some countries. Oh, man. What are you breezing with the bean? Oh, man, I'll take a picture of you and your bean. Breezing out the bean. I'm flicking the bean. Oh, man. Fucking iPhone. I'm going in for more. Here we go. I got to get a photo.

Do a boomerang. I'm flipping that bean. I don't have to do a boomerang. Oh, come on. You're so old, fuck. I'll do a video. Hang on. All right, so I mean all in all. Yeah. Do that again for you. It wasn't bad. It was horrific. Emphasis on the whore part. I'm going back for more. Go ahead, another shot. I'll tell you right now, this is less potent than it was before, so it has mellowed out. Breezy, can you show me that bean one more time? It's mellowed. Whoa, I dropped my bean. Oh, shit.

Breezy got the bean out of the shot, which I think is- Can't take it. It's kind of like getting a tequila worm.

Here, I got it. it oh look at that oh i got a bean too look at that bean you gotta hold on hold on like the bean like the bean oh it's a floater oh my god it's a floater my goodness i'm the only one that didn't get a bean what the all right cannibal i don't know maybe be uh thankful that you didn't get a bean i don't know i'm gonna eat this bean too by the way all right eat the bean only if it's It's covered in chocolate. How's the shot? Was it good, Breezy? This is mellowed out quite a bit.

No, I'm serious. Look at Breezy's face right now. This is mellowed out quite a bit. I'm really enjoying this. Okay. Hmm. This is time for me to do another shot then. I almost choked on a bean. Ooh, the beans are really soft too. Was your bean soft? Yeah, that bean was awfully soft. No, my bean's hard. I'll be taking another shot. Wow. It has kind of a Jaeger kind of a feel to it. but it smells so good. It does smell good. It does taste good. There's the bean. I'll eat that later.

Yeah, so in the last episode that we did, which we're going to post eventually, we did with the brew heads out of West Hartford, and I have the glass of, here we go. Coffee beans to sniff.

Oh, it's supposed to cleanse your palate. Yeah, so I have the chocolate truffle, the Stuhl Leonard's chocolate truffle.

Coffee beans so what were we doing on the podcast we were eating these freaking things, we were actually eating these age-old beans on the podcast wow shit i didn't get to that part when i was listening oh these beans are like a year old if not longer no and they still taste pretty good i'm gonna be it i'll taste them oh here have a bean or you want to like a like a a soaked bean. Oh, there you go. See? Tastes good to me. Fresh.

Fresh as a daisy. Year-old coffee bean. Still has that chocolatey flavor. It's good, man. Smells good. That is absolutely delicious. Ooh, that does smell good. Yeah, look at it. Stew Leonard's coffee. Oh, so good. Bring it here, Breezy. Yeah. Yeah. Here we go. That's the stew. Okay, how would you like my sauce? Oh, boy. Yes, how did you like his sauce? Hold on, hold on, hold on. Listen, I know we're friends, but you can't ask that question. You know what I'm talking about.

You can't ask that question like that, man. All right. Man, the spaghetti sauce I dropped off to you. You know how long I've known John for? I don't want to know. Do you? Come on, do you? All right. Come on, come on. Tell me. At least humor me. Lay it on me. 30 years. 30 years. Wow. We're very old.

So I was four when you guys met. probably yeah anyway my husband was just born you cougar i am wow yes hey listen who's gonna teach my kids new math not me clearly it's not me i can barely count my own fingers oh my goodness goodness so he's a young man huh he is he just turned 30 august of 2023 wow yeah wow yeah huh yeah good man though we like him we like zach he's cool guy very good guy yeah so his swimmers are still active huh i don't know yet we're working on it all right well we're

we support you can you pass that cannibal yeah no shot no shot you guys want to hear something funny so No, I want to talk about Johnny's sauce. Well, here's something funny first, then we'll talk about his sauce. So, you know my last name's Lopez now, right? Yeah, because you look, yeah. And your hips don't lie. Sure, they're there. Ooh, I got another bean. Boy, you are bean killing it. That is two floaters right there. Look at that, man. He's bogarting the beans. Do you ever have floaters?

Poops or in your water? or no it's actually when your eye starts to deteriorate and you have like these chunks of like isn't that like conjunctivitis no no no but in in my eye my eyes are breaking down and i got these little tiny particles floating around inside my eye and sometimes if i catch a light right, i'll see it and it just annoys the crap out of me wow this got real geriatric anyway you know Early Works Wanderers Metamucil. You know what? Metamucil is all a joke.

Really? Because it actually doesn't help you poop. Breeze is at a lower blood pressure, right? What? Metamucil, right? I started doing a lot of research on Metamucil and all of those. I'm so confused. Didn't you tell me you take Metamucil? I do. I drink Metamucil every day. Hey, listen. You got to keep up because we're faster. I'm sorry. We're quick as lightning.

With your floaties in your eyes and your deteriorating eyes and that that's why i have progressive lenses good lord johnny where are you well upcoming things

include we're going to revamp the the studio right ready to get some new chairs, Well, yeah, we're actually going to start getting, we're going to get a new table. New table, yeah. New chairs. We have now the side buffet over here that's all lit up. Beautiful. Very nice lit up table. We can take a picture of that, put it on Instagram. Some porn elements to it when it lights up. That's it. This is true. See how your butt's hurting right now from the stool?

It's not going to be that way next episode you come on. Right. We're going to have really ergonomically designed chairs. Good shit. But I really love the squeaky sounds. I know why you like the squeaky sound too. You should really stop right now Breezy what's going on in stand up comedy with you Like I said before, Sorry excuse me You make Meg snarf Oh god don't choke on the bean Oh this is really gross Hold on This bean is like super soggy It's like so saturated with

all the alcohol Alcohol? Yeah, yeah. I'm like, oh, no, it's alcohol. Grow up, bear. Grow up. I got nowhere to spit it off. If you get a spew, spew in this. Go ahead. Okay. All right, we're good. I feel so much better. Thanks, Breezy. You're welcome. Thanks for coming to my rescue. I got a bead, too. Oh, God. I got a bead. We all had beans. And see, the thing is, this little kit came with a strainer to strain the beans out. Well, that didn't work. How'd the beans sink through?

How big was that strainer? Well, here's the thing. I didn't strain as I poured. You didn't. I didn't. I just went full pour. Don't you want to run through walls after drinking that? I'm freaking getting a little wired right now. Are you? Yeah. Hmm. Not breezy. Breezy's still ready to go to sleep. Let's stay on task. Stay on task. We're on task. We are. Stay focused. So what are you doing on comedy? So hold on. Hold on. We're going back to Johnny's sauce.

Johnny's sauce. Let's hear it. All right. So Johnny, he is a master of making tomato sauce. I had to make sure that I specified what kind of sauce it was. Yeah, it was red sauce. So Johnny is a master of his domain when it comes to red sauce. Breezy is like, no fucking way. I am skeptical. Listen. I will tell you this, and I've, I don't want to say I'm a kind of sewer of sauce, of red sauce. You have a reputation of dating and marrying Italian women. Yeah, shut up.

Well, you know what? Not anymore. I know. I've learned from my ways. I have a beautiful girlfriend. And anyway, so love my life. Anyway. We like her. She's wonderful. But I can sit here and talk about her all night long. Anyway, so. John, it's his father's recipe, so it was passed down from generation to generation, and the meat he throws into his sauce. Is it his meat? I don't know. Maybe you need to ask him.

It means you can turn anything dirty. Get him, all right. Who's meat is it? I don't want to know. I got three beans on you. Three beans. Oh, it's brutal. All right. Too much cannibal. We need more beer. So anyway. One more beer. John will throw in ribs. Yeah. Sausage. Yeah, there's no way you can talk about this without being dirty. Ribs? Who's sausage? It's his. Is it spicy, sweet? No, I put the Italian sweet in.

I think maybe next time I'll try for the spicy just to mix it up a bit. but I will tell you this. It's a good. Keg likes my sauce. You really like Johnny's sauce? It's a good sauce. It's a good sauce. It's a good sauce. It's a good sauce. It's a good sauce. I really want to know, when you eat his sauce, are you sitting down on your knees? Like, what's happening physically here? You got a plate with some spaghetti? Maybe a chicken parm? No, no, a bowl. A bowl. I do prefer bowls.

Yeah. You know, nothing what we eat. Breezy used to smoke eight of those before she came to the show, but no more. I don't smoke. I know. I said you used to. I said you used to. Wow. That's crazy. And we do like the Breezy minus the pot. You do? Yeah. We like you with the pot, too. I want to know. We love you all. Wait. Let's ask the listeners. Who do you prefer? All right. I don't know if they would even know. Probably not.

Yeah. They wouldn't know. They wouldn't? No, they wouldn't know. How not? Why would they know? Is it hard for you to give that up, or is it easy? It was easy. I don't think we've ever said anything about her smoking pot. Oh, no, we did. We did. Did we? I remember a specific episode where- I mean, I went to Cal White and said, you know. She walked up the stairs. I remember that. Oh, my God.

I know you remember that. She walked up the stairs high as a kite and said, don't say anything about me smoking pot. Then got on the mic and said, well, I just smoked a bowl on the way over. I just smoked a fuck ton. Yeah, no. Honestly, though, it really wasn't a big deal to give it up. I just was like, nope, no more. And I don't. Well, in my defense, I said what I said because...

I wanted you to have a good podcast. Well, let me tell you, you have to not say in my defense because I don't give a fuck. But at the same time. All right, in my defense. It's fine. In my offense. Whatever. Because at the same time, I know. Oh, son of a bitch. i know for a fact that when it comes to people in my life you and johnny benson always look out for the best in me and i was i was in a dark johnny pass me a tissue.

It's our best friend breeze you missed the bean you missed it did i miss my bean right on the edge edge of the of the carpet there we go all right thank you i got the bean but no like i know that you know sometimes when you just go too much in something your true friends are the ones who are like hey because i would rather someone be like yo man like you need to slow down than someone be like yeah you're great and let's pretend everything's great well.

What's on tap? Oh, what's on tap? Oh, I thought we got more beer.

Should we do the smoothie beer? Are we done with the smoothie and the pickle? Got to keep this rolling. Yeah. Listen, the pickle is on the end. Yeah, so let's do the smoothie. All right, the smoothie. Keg will not like this. Who's cracking it? Oh, no. Hold on. Release the cracking. Hold on. You said smoothie? Yeah. Let's try it. Let's give you something to hate. We really love when you hate stuff. Yeah, you love hating things. It's my favorite thing about you. What if you like it?

He likes it. Hey, Keggy. Well, you know, if it's Breezy's favorite thing about me, then let's do it. All right, we won't even rinse the glass. We'll just... All right, ready? I'm going to crack it. Well, the espresso martini. Breezy's cracking it. Y'all, can I get a picture? Oh, Breezy. Hold on. You got... Stop. Stop. You got bottle openers all around you. You're going to do it with your teeth? I'm going to do it with my fucking teeth. I have dental insurance.

Dude, don't cut your tongue in that. Hold on. Oh, she's going to cut her tongue in a hole. Ready? Oh, man. What are you doing, man? Oh, Breezy. Breezy just opened a beer with her mouth. Yo. Oh, man. All over the carpet, too. Oh, Breezy. I ruined everything. Listen, I bought this because it's waterproof. Because I had to. I'm going to tell you right now, I can't wait to hear what you have to say about this. Oh, man. This is one of Keg's favorites. It's a smoothie beer. As she slurps it.

We're never going to go for a rinse, are we? No, no rinse. No rinse. It's not worth it. Maybe it'll make it taste better. You know what? We need to do... Oh, that looks like... Lick the hand. Lick it. I'm just kidding. Please don't. That's not beer. That's transmission fluid. Look at that. Oh, my God. All right. This just looks you know what just for just a safe face are we saving face, We need to do something with Transcend. Or was it the other beer? Trans what? Transcend. Clarify.

So, well, I pissed off. Who did I piss off? You want the whole list? Yeah. You want an alphabetical order? Look at my stockings. It's a mess. It's not a party until you fuck up the stockings. Here, take a fucking picture. No, no, don't take a picture. Look at this. There's something down there. No. They're lined with fleece. Fleece? Yeah, fleece. Oh, I thought you said fleece. Because they're warm. All right. It's 67 degrees in here, Jean.

I'm cold. What are you doing? I'm fucking cold. A little video. Video? A little video. Are you going live? No, not live. Oh, God. It smells like a schmucker's little crustable. And see, this is my point behind the smoothies. Let's do it. Ready? No. Let's get ready to hate. I don't want to do it. I want to hate, though. Let's hate together. All right, let's hate together. One, two, three. All right, here we go. Oh, God. What is this? I don't know, but it tastes like

fucking kid's cough medicine. It does. I don't know. It tastes like a whole lot of cherry puree.

Where's the can? I don't know. right here all right so all right so this is through 450 north brewing company where's 450 north i've heard of 420 north i've never heard i believe it's in indiana or something like that columbus columbus indiana wow my science dude my sinuses got all all messed up drinking this crap oh it's got that chalky mouth feel that you get when you drink like kids tylenol or whatever dude there's like all kinds of fireworks

and cherry bombs on this can i mean the canner is pretty cool don't get me wrong i i see spy versus spy on that oh yeah yeah it's a cool very cool can yeah but that's the thing about it they were like this beer sucks It sucks. Let's give it a cool can. But let's talk about can art because we've had a lot of beer that sucked and the can art was just- Oh, that's like pipe works, right? I saw some pipe works today. I saw pipe works too. I almost grabbed some. I know, me too.

I was like, yeah, let's revisit the pipe works. But you know what? We got to try something new. I think we need to change the narrative when it comes to craft beer. Everybody's doing this IPA crap and this slushy crap or whatever. What do they call it? Yeah, it's called a slushy XXL. I mean, you know, no offense to anybody that loves drink condition. It's a smoothie style, that's what it says. But the thing is, this is, and everybody can tell me, well, it's brewed like

a beer. Well, you know what? There's so many adjuncts in here. It doesn't taste like a beer. It tastes like an alcoholic slushy. To me, this tastes like just drinking a can of pie filling. Not even that good. How dare you disrespect pie filling. Oh, man. It tastes like pie crust in it. So this is a smoothie-style sour ale. It's not even sour, though. With white chocolate, blackberry, graham cracker, cherry, and marshmallow. Ew. That's a whole lot of flavors. That's a whole lot of bullshit.

That's a shit ton of flavors. And I'm not really sure about this, man. You know what it's like? It's a they-them of beer. Oh, it's a pronoun? Or we were. Oh, my God. It looks like a woman on the can, but is it? Oh, my God. I don't know. It's probably what Joe Biden drinks. You know what? And I'll say this. I mean, I would like to enjoy this, but there's a lot of flat flavors in this. It doesn't taste like any of the things that it states that it's supposed to taste like.

I don't taste white chocolate. I taste a lot of cherry. I see. Well, of all of the chocolates, you pick the fake chocolate. It's not even real chocolate. White chocolate's not real chocolate? White chocolate is not real chocolate. It does not come from the chocolate cocoa bean that they make chocolate from. We need video. Oh, I took two. They're going to be on Instagram.

Because uh that was a beautiful exchange of eye glances, this is definitely i mean i'm so mad about this yours looks all like like it needs to be shaken up you know i'm saying like beer shouldn't have beer shouldn't have sediment like that that's just but mine mine looks a lot more clear than johnny yeah so does mine look at this look at Look at the difference. This is called bad beer making. Was it because I didn't rinse the glass after

I had the HIPAA? No, it has nothing to, look at even how the- Hold on, we didn't rinse the glass either. Right, and look at the sediment that build up on the side of your glass. That should not happen. That's a lot of sediment. And it's not even sour. It doesn't have that wild east funk taste. There's no sour, no, no, no. There's no sour. No, no sour. This is false advertisement. It tastes like a watered down can of cherry pie filling.

Look, as I pour. I don't want to drink it. Hold on. As I pour. Look how dirty that looks. Oh, my God. Dirty beer right there. I'm sure the water in Flint, Michigan looks cleaner than that. Oh, Jesus. No fracking. No fracking. Oh, my goodness. Speaking of Michigan, go Lions. Well, listen. They're not making a super. No, no, because they're not in the colors in the. Yeah, they're not in the colors. Yeah, but like bad job brewery. What is this? Bad job. It's a very thick, but you know what?

And I understand why they brew beers like this or smoothies or I don't even know what class of, what's, I mean. It's because they know the white girls are going to make a revolution for them. It's the pumpkin spice trend. But this is like the wine to get girls into drinking beer. That's my thought. Yeah, but that's not going to get Brie to drink beer. She's a girl. I am a girl. But she's a cool girl. She's not just a girl. Just a girl.

She's the breeze. Yes, she's the breeze. Very breezy. But look how dirty that glass looks. It's disgusting. This is horrible. You know, we're always talking about lacing. Yeah. And that's like sludge. If some guy- There's no lacing at all. There's no head retention.

There's nothing. If I told you what I paid for that four pack, you guys would both choke me out.

This listen this tastes like if you took children's tylenol the cherry flavor chewable tylenol tablets and smashed it up and put it with some water that's what it tastes like it is so chewy man it's disgusting all right is it even a beer though can we pour it down the drain and call it a night sure because i really want a four pack of that listen i got three more cans i'll give it to to a homeless person. This is, yeah. Can we just, I really want to taste the pickle.

Yeah, well, taste the pickle, but we definitely have to rinse our glasses. This is horrific. You don't want to mix your pickle with this cherry smoothie. Oh, my God. This is awful. All right. I'll tell you what we're going to do. Let's all rinse our glasses. Rinse our glasses. This is how you feel. Yeah. It's the kind of song you want to play after drinking

a squishy XXL cherry bullshit. You know that was intentional, right? What? Him buying that four pack was intentional. Shut just to hear me kill it. Ugh. Ugh. Music.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's Beer Man Beer. We're recovering from our last smoothie-style beer. It's not a beer. And I know it's brewed like a beer. I get it. Ken Kettles is here, and he's not impressed. Not impressed. But Breezy is here. Holding the pickle. This pickle beer. Hold that pickle up for a photo. Go get through the tongue again. Hey. Oh, I love this. Hey, you want to go see Cameta? Where? Down at Cafe 9. Yes, I do, of course. I love Cafe 9. All right.

You love Cafe 9, right? I love Cafe 9. It's a whole emo fest down there. What day is that? I got to check, but I saw that the Cameta brothers posted. We must see the Cameta brothers. Let me know.

All right. don't try to make it so obvious sugar oh yeah man this is gorilla's pickle beer yes this is the beer but lord hobo pickles keg kettles maces on pickles hey keg will you do the honors i'm not sticking my tongue in that though i didn't i didn't like it i just pretended ended too well i thank you for that here we go oh oh i broke a nail oh shit what do we do now all right here we go oh dude i want to sniff the can sniff that can sniff that pickle.

You're all dirty that was actually uncalled for personal foul, 50 yards sniffing the pickle I can tell you right now just sniffing what is in the can doesn't smell like a pickle can I smell? are we going to do a Super Bowl episode? It's been a while it smells sweet it doesn't smell like a pickle oh No, it doesn't. It doesn't smell like a pickle. It doesn't. I really wanted to hit in the face with dill. You know what? She's onto something because I thought the same thing. I was waiting for that

delicatessen, Jewish-owned. Not in a sexual way, but just something that's like, it's a pickle in a jar. Why do you guys think sex when you think pickle? It has nothing. I'm talking about a delicatessen. Really garlicky pickle? Okay, but let's be honest. When you say delicatessen, no one really knows what a delicatessen is. It's a deli. It's a kosher deli? I understand that. Yeah. Because it's of an age that I grew up in. What sandwich would you have with that pickle?

This? Yeah. I can tell you what my sandwich is. Pastrami, right? Pastrami? It's got to be pastrami. No. No, man. No. Good roast beef. Yes. Roast beef. With a horseradish. Oh, and fresh moots. Fresh schmutz and arugula, right? Arugula? Yeah, arugula. A light, a light schmear of mayo. No. None of that? No, reason what's all the mayo on it. I want horseradish. Horseradish sauce, look at that. Yeah, okay, okay, what's your go-to horseradish? Little Tabasco?

The boar's head horseradish. Not kaczkuszko? No. Oh. Sorry. You just speak Polish, huh? No, well, yeah, absolutely, yeah, I kind of did. Yeah, I guess I did. Okay. But when it comes to like horseradish, I mean, growing up in the household I grew up in, Kashkushka was like the- They make a good mustard. And the mustard as well. Their mustard is delicious. That's the mustard I go for. That is her go-to mustard. It is. I love mustard. So boar's head, huh?

I do like the horseradish boar's head spread that they do for sandwiches. It's very good. So how do you like your roast beef? Rare. It needs to bleed. Oh, God.

I need it to bleed. it is to move as as it soaks into the bread yes and it gives it that pink oh oh my god it's so good yes if it's not if you give me a horseradish or i'm sorry johnny smell that beer a roast beef sandwich and it's not super red and pink in the middle i don't fucking want it it's got it's got Golly booger, I smell nothing. Yeah, there's no- It smells like an ale. No dill, no nothing. Yeah. No vinegar. It doesn't even smell salty. What does salty smell like?

You can smell salty when something's- Could you? Yes. Even when you're at the beach, can you smell salt? Yeah. Yeah? I can. I don't know. I used to smell fresh fish when I'm at the beach. See? See? There you go. It makes me uncomfortable. I'm going for the first pour. It looks like a regular clean lager. It looks like a lager or an ale. I'm excited because it's a Lord Hobo, and I've never had a bad Lord Hobo. You know, I think Lord Hobo had their heyday. There you go. There you go,

Jen. Good job. Wow. Good job. That's premature foam nation. Premature something. All right. Yeah, why are you putting on your shirt? Yeah, why not? Just a Dockside Brewery sweatshirt. Shout out to Dockside Brewery. Listen, at least you didn't get some fucking shitty slushy smoothie fucking beer all over your stockings. No, I got nothing on my stockings. My stockings are clean. All right. Well, listen. Let's do this.

I'm excited about drinking this. Me too. So are we going to go in or what? Let's do it. You know, hold on. In the glass, the little taster I have. Get a photo of that cheers, man. In the sour taster that I have, I do get a nice little delicatessen smell. Yeah? Let me. Oh. See? Yeah, that's right. I do get that little. Get that cheers up in there, man. Oh, yeah. Here we go. Can we touch our tips together? Oh, you know. All right, I'm going in. Good pickle beer.

It does have a salinity to it. It does. It has a saltiness to it. You know, I was expecting more. I was expecting more pickle. I really wanted that dill taste. Yeah. I was expecting more pickle. It's a light pickle, but it's not. I am kind of disappointed. There's not even a light pickle. No, I need a little pickle. I am kind of disappointed. You do have a little pickle. That's not what she said. Oh, my God. I set myself up for failure again. It was a Hulk line and not so much of a sinker.

Oh, my God, cannonball. We still have cannonball left. Yeah, but you know what? I really wanted that punch in the face. I wanted that super vinegary pickled dill. A little bit of garlic pepper. Kind of burp it up and feel it fucking hit you back in the face. Yeah. I'm kind of disappointed. I'm really disappointed. Really? Wow. Okay. Yeah. But if you told me this was just a beer I'd drink, I'm like, yeah, it's a good beer. But if you told me it was a dill pickle beer, I'd be like, what?

Was that Pickle Rick on the- No. That's Grillo. So the thing is, once it goes down your palate, Yeah. Or your gullet. Then you get a little bit of the sour notes from it. You're saying you got a little bit of pickle down your gullet? It's more of a salty. There's a lot of saltiness to it. Why the sexual amusement? Do you see how I passed over? No, I haven't. I did. I didn't even give him. Because you came in with the salt.

It's not my fault that you went there no no no no it is your fault that i went there because you went there i just recognized it well listen hey you want to pass that pickle, there you go all right when i think pickle in my mouth i always go to salty. I'll never know i'll only take that as a uh all right food review not a uh a dirty comment. Yeah, and the reviews that I saw, briny. It doesn't even taste briny. I don't get briny from it either.

Oh, Lord Hobo, you kind of disappointed us. Oh, Lord. I had really high expectations. I bought it specifically to get those pure pickle notes coming through there. You know what's fucked up is that it says, we've teamed up with our friends over at Grillo's Pickles to create this refreshing, slightly tart, which it's not, and unique pickle beer infused with fresh pickle brine from their world-famous classic dill pickles where certain you'll relish this delicious concoction.

It doesn't even... I don't even like relish. You don't like relish? Don't judge me. Oh, okay. I'm judging you. Whatever. Relish is gross. Relish is delicious. No, relish is good, man. Relish is dill-licious. What do you like on a hot dog? Specifically Jotty's. No, no, a hot dog. Hold on. His sauce is one thing. No, the hot dog.

Cannonball? Cannonball. All right, so on my hot dog. On a hot dog. What do you like? Oh, I love hot dogs. So I think it all depends on where the hot dog came from. So when I think of a hot dog for myself, American cheese and bacon. No ketchup, just American cheese and bacon. Some people, I think some states, I think outlaw ketchup on a hot dog, I think. Well, I think there's some purists out there that are like, oh no. I hate ketchup.

Ketchup belongs on a hamburger, not a hot dog. And you got to put mustard on a hot dog. Mustard on a hot dog. And it's like- And onions. Yeah, but everybody is an individualist. They can like what they like, huh? I love kraut on my hot dog. I do like kraut on a hot dog. I don't like kraut. I love spicy mustard and kraut with bacon. That is like my jam. She's going to stick to the seat soon. I think I am. I'm just saying. Where's your go-to spot to get a hot dog?

The Marriott Canteen in Bridgeport. Bridgeport, yeah. Yeah. Or there's this place- On Main Street. There's this place in Cheshire that I heard has really good hot dogs that I want to try. I fucking love hot dogs. I love hot dogs. What's the spot by my house that has the sticker, our sticker on it? Oh, Dogtown. Dogtown, yes. Dogtown. Yeah, Dogtown. Really good hot dog. Really good. You know what? They're branching out. Really? I think they're looking- Was it Shelton?

They're looking to another spot. I kind of think it was Schellen. I love hot dogs. Hot dogs. One of my all-time favorite hot dogs lately has been just going to Costco and spending that $1.60 on that humongous hot dog they give you. But wasn't it $1.50 before? It was. It went up to $1.60. But you got a soda with a free refill with it. That's Biden's America.

Man, come on. You know, it's in the contract, though. When the owner of Costco sold Costco to the new owners, he put it in the contract that they're not allowed to change the price of the hot dog. And they did anyway? So the old owner said to the new owner. Do not change the price. Do not change the price of his wiener. Yeah. Okay. This is true. $1.60. What about the pizza? You know what? I'm a chicken bake girl from Costco. I haven't had that yet. Oh, the chicken bake is so good.

Because that's $3 and I can get a huge hot dog for $1.60 with a soda. Time out. Hold on. The chicken bake? what's that it's a it's like stromboli bread but with like chicken and cheese stuffed in it but there's cheese it's so good is there sauce on it too there's sauce on it too not johnny's sauce but it's just like it is a white creamy sauce but not johnny's, my white my sauce is not white nor creamy it is red and terrifying exactly Exactly. Cannonball. Wait a minute. Excuse me.

Pardon me. Are we over time? No, we're not. No. Over time? No, we're cutting in front of this anyway, so it doesn't matter. Okay, we got more time then. Absolutely more time. My good gravy. At least 20 minutes worth. Sure. Let's do it. You know what? This is starting to wear on me because it's not as- I like it, but I really wanted that dill pickle. It doesn't taste like a pickle at all. I wanted that sour punch from a pickle. Yeah, you're right.

So you know what? I think our goal in life right now- Is to get a sour punch from a pickle. Is to find that- A good pickle. Purest pickle beer. Yes. Yes, a good pickle beer. So I think- We might have to make it ourself. We still have to make mead. I love mead. All I have to do is get 15 pounds of honey and we're good. All right, we had goals for the podcast this year, right? Yeah, mead. I'm friends with an apriest. Okay, so hook us up with some honey.

Yeah. I'm looking for wild. Okay. And 15 pounds of it. Okay. So at 15 pounds, we will do five gallons. Check that out. Five gallons of- Chani sauce. No. Kettle sauce. And we will ferment. And then we will harvest- And then re-ferment again. Oh, I made mead once. Did you? I did. Just once? Was it delicious? No, I made two different types. I made an apple cinnamon mead, and I made a strawberry mango mead. And the strawberry mango mead had a 22% alcohol content.

Oh, I bought a hydrometer too, by the way, so we could find out what the therapies are. Yeah, it was really, really good. Mango, huh? Yeah, mango strawberry. Yeah. It was really, really good. It came out a little too thick. I wanted it to be thinner. A little chewy. It was. It was like a, but the apple cinnamon was. Yeah, I can see that. So good. Way better than the strawberry mango one. So no mango. You know, you have to use champagne yeast to make.

I have everything for it. Okay, I'm just saying. And I have the nutrients for it as well. Oh, you just need the 15 pounds of honey. Yeah. Okay. I am all set. I'll see what I can do. And we have to get the non-well water as well. I have well water. I have well water as well. I love well water. I don't like well water. Ugh. It's gross. I love my well water. Anyway. It's because you have Shelton well water. From the hunting in session in the mean streets of Shelton. All right.

So what else? Well, April. Breezy will be joining us for April Sours this year. I am. You are? I will be there. Oh. How excited are you? We never got to have Breezy with us because she usually worked Saturdays, but now. I don't anymore. I am excited. So now we got the breeze on April Sours. So, I can't give it up. I'm not going to say anything. Well, by the way, April Sours, it just about sold out, right? I think it sold out. It sold out. Because the last I knew, there was four tickets

left. And I would imagine. Yeah, yeah. So I would say find your local ticket scalper if you want to go to April Sowers. So we're going all out for this one. Okay. We're going to be throwing beads. Okay. We're going to be spinning a prize wheel. Okay. We are doing everything. So dress like a slut. Got it. Yeah, me and you. Yeah, I don't know if I can look good in that. Ah, sure you can. Don't sell yourself short. Hold on, hold on. I don't know if I can look good in a tube top.

Listen, let's all dress like Catholic schoolgirls. Why don't you wear a kilt? You got the skirt. I'm wearing one right now. You have a kilt, right? No. You don't have a kilt? No. I thought everybody's scotches had a kilt. Yeah, no. No. You got bagpipes at least? Not even close. I dated some women that had bagpipes, but that's a whole other story. Oh, boy. Anyway. Oh, man. You know, I'm kind of disappointed about this beer. I know, but it did have potential.

But the problem is that it still tastes good. Here, Johnny. It is a drinkable beer. It tastes good. That if someone said, here, drink this, you'd be like, all right, yeah, it's good. Yeah, but if you said, what flavors do you have? Are they going to say pickle? I don't think you would say that. I really don't think you would say pickle. You might go, eh, it's a sour. It's a sour. It kind of has a lot of sour characteristics. It does.

But with this sour, it's not a punching the back of the throat kind of sour, like a lot of sours are.

I mean, granted, it's smooth. It's a smooth, clean kind of beer, but- Not a pickle beer. It's not a pickle beer. But right on the can, it says pickle beer. That, for I feel, is false advertisement. Dude, when I was walking through looking at beer, and that thing just sprung out and said, buy me. I was like, fuck yeah. No, I agree. You sent us the text, and we both agreed. And we were like, whoa. And because, you know, based on everybody's,

you know, text, I was like, yeah, I'll get it. So that's fine. It's not weird to talk about. Yeah. So pickle beer. You know, I think our journey right now is to find the, like the, the ultimate pickle beer. I'll see if I find any out West. Who else? Yeah. Colorado, huh? What if any of our home brewer friends would make a pickle beer? I think this really has to be a thing. This kind of seems like it's, it's like one of those.

All right. let's do a pickle beer if it launches that's cool if it doesn't that's fine too I think we gotta make this into something more spectacular this should have been more, like effort of flavor to fail rather than an effort to flavor of like we can get away with it I think it's one of those damn if you do damn if you don't thing yeah. But you know what? Cool as hell can, though. I mean, if we go back to that sludge that we drank earlier.

Yeah, but you know what? That sludge that we drank, I bet you a lot of dudes, if you call them dudes, and chicks, they drink that crap like it's going out of style because they love that because it does taste like a beer. Yeah. So they might have, Lord Hobo might have done that because it's like, well, I want to sell the beer and not make it like a pickle beer, but kind of, sort of kind of like a pickle beer.

We need a pickle beer. We need a pickle beer. Yeah. All right, listeners, find us a pickle beer. Please. We'll taste it on the show. I mean, how hard could it be? Because you make a pickle brine with sugar. Yeah. It requires sugar when you make pickles. Huh? So sugar is what yeast. Yeah. I've never put sugar in my pickles. I've had sugar water with the pickle brine in pickles. That's like bread and butter kind of. Kind of. I don't like bread and butter. It's not a pickle. But still,

but you get that pickle flavor. Not a pickle. I don't even taste like a little bit of cucumber in this. And cucumber has a very prominent flavor. Yeah, it makes me burp. Anyway. Oh, Lord. So we need to find the pickle beer. The pickle beer. So we found the ultimate IPA in Colorado. Yes. Let's see if Colorado could produce a pickle beer. I'll tell you what. We'll come back. We'll go through our beers. And we'll tell you what was solid and not solid. It's beer, man, beer.

What the hell was that? Cannonball. Yeah, I'll do a shot. All right. Do a shot. We'll go to a break. Music. Uh, yeah.

Well, we had a good night of drinking, and we're going to go over our beers and discuss what was solid and what was not solid. Breezy Hiltz is here. I'm sorry, Breezy Lopez. Oh, wow. I forgot. No hyphen in it. No. Brie low. Bee low. Oh, bee low. Five bee low. Yeah, but you know what? Five below. There's not a whole lot that's five below. Really? It's like up to 10 bucks now. No shit. Yeah. Thanks, inflation. Do I need the cans for us to go over?

No, I think we can do it. No, we did the Ozzy Osbourne beer, right? That was good. We did the, it was called the Savvy Savvorn beer. Yep. Savvy Savvorn. All right, we liked it. Sazzy? Sazzy. Sazzy. Sazzy beer. No V. Sazzy sod part. Sazzy sod. We did a 7-Up type beer. That was pretty good. The double IPA. That was not really double IPA. Yeah, it was very light. Yeah, for a double IPA. And then we did the- We had the Smokin' Daggers. Yeah, that was good.

That was really good. That was my favorite. From Jack Sabby? Yeah, that's what we thought it was.

Was my favorite definitely solid that was my favorite and then uh the this kind of uh hold on you're skipping over the smoothie man that was so bad oh i wanted to forget that smoothie well let's talk about why you didn't like the smoothie see johnny threw a hankering into that freaking mix he did it on purpose sure i did it on purpose but we gotta have something for you to hate so gross but he did it on purpose that was like i saw the fire of his eyes he was like oh oh, yeah,

I'm going to mess with you. That was a pot stir bullshit nonsense. You know what? And I'll be honest, if you're new to the whole beer scene. Don't drink it. No, that's like it. They do it because it's an intro beer, and that's it. It's not even a beer, though, cake. Yeah, but you know what? There was no beer flavor in that. But it's brewed like a beer. That's what they tell me. That's it. It tasted like the inside of a pie melted and put in a glass. Not even. That's disrespectful to pie filling.

Let's make it a pie filling. Are you going to make a pie? Yeah, I'll make a pie. And have Jess Alpac make a pie, and we'll have a pie off. Should we do that at April Sours? All right. A pie off? April Sours? Now, the whole pie-off thing. Yeah, but if it's April Sours, I'm going to do rhubarb. Rhubarb? Yeah, because it's sour. The sour aspect of a pie, be it blueberry, cherry, strawberry, rhubarb. I guess we'll have to reach out to Jess Alpaca. Now, do we get whipped cream on top or not?

Or is it cool whip? Or it's a la mode. Oh. Hey, I know a guy that had one. I know a guy. A la mode. Hold on. A la mode. Are we talking just vanilla or French vanilla?

That's a really good question you gotta get those uh those specs in that yeah that vanilla right wow okay i see me for a loop oh french vanilla you know what's weird so my son loves vanilla ice cream he's so blimp he's so vanilla he's okay but like he prefers the so haagen-dazs makes a vanilla ice cream and then they make a vanilla bean ice cream and he prefers the vanilla bean ice cream which is an anglaise that's made with vanilla

beans rather than the vanilla extract from the vanilla ice cream. He knows the difference. I'm raising him right. I can see that. Yeah. So, you know, when you make ice cream you have to make an anglaise before you actually put it in the ice cream maker. Right.

The looks on your faces so the anglaise anglaise talk more about the anglaise is the is the type because it sounds so bougie so anglaise is where you make like it's like that egg and heavy cream mixture that you make before you put it in the ice cream maker because it's the heavy cream and that milk product that makes said ice cream okay yeah so you make an anglaise before you make ice You can't have ice cream without anglaise unless you're making a sorbet,

which doesn't have any milk product in it. It sounds like jizz, but I'm just saying. Anglaise. That's what I'm going to refer to jizz from now on. It's like fancy for jizz. Yeah. Anglaise. Oh, yeah. Anglaise. Oh, my God. Coat my palate in anglaise. He anglaised my chest. That sounds dirty. He anglaised my belly button.

Oh my god holy shit well this took a turn all right so the pickle beer what do we think of the pickle beer it was all right it was okay so it was not solid right it was not good enough to be solid not bad enough to be not solid somewhere in between it was a decent pickle beer yeah we went from on glaze all over my belly button to pickle beer all right i mean i mean to be honest this was our first pickle beer so oh you need more pickle beer i really don't know how to how to score this

beer yeah being the fact that it's the first time having it it didn't taste much like pickles so i don't know if we can say it had more of a sour kind of effect to it it tasted like a pale ale because pale ales are a little sour yeah yeah it was kind of weak all right i wanted a pickle. Not in a sexual way. Oh, geez. Breezy, where can we find you? Where can fans find you? Doing any comedy coming up? Anything going on?

Doing my comedy workshop at Thomaston Opera House. Nice, nice. Seniors and adults. Seniors and adults, huh? Yeah, it'll be a good time. So if you've got a- Hold on. Seniors and adults? Well, there's a senior class at 11 a.m. On Tuesdays. Oh, the early bird?

Yes, it's early bird special. special come with your aarp card aarp you get a free donut and a class with the breeze yeah um and then there's the there's the adult class that's on thursdays at six and sign up it'll be a good time i have a really great syllabus set up for the class i would like to like sit in and be a fly on the wall at that class it'll be fun we're gonna do an open mic and a showcase i gotta I have some theaters booked out to help out with that.

I'm going to take them to actual some like real Connecticut open mic nights. Oh, geez. To let them feel the wrath of open micers. So you're going to bring a whole road of like a busload of golden girls to open mic night? Yeah, on a Peter Pan. Oh, that is awesome. It'll be a good time. All right, we got to be in a fly on the wall. We got to see this shit. It'll be really fun. Come on, I'm really excited.

I want to see the horror on your faces. I would like to book an evening of you hosting a whole group of... An ARP. Yes, it'll be really good.

I'm really excited. I'm sure it's going to be a good time. I'm sure I will write many a joke based off of it. I think it's going to be fantastic. That's a lot of good material, I imagine. I need to be there. If you want to see Johnny B, I will be at the Cabaret on Main on March 22nd. Hey! with my gots to go see the cabaret the cabaret i'll be there with irene bremus and fudge and suzanne mccormick who doesn't love fudge everybody loves fudge,

Give it up for food. Keg Kettles, where can people see you? Out and about. Out on the streets. That's where we meet. Oh my goodness. It's a good tune. It's good to have you guys back in the studio again. Johnny, we're back. Are we going to see more Breezy on the show or what? Yeah. I mean, let me know. We got a fever and the only prescription is more Breezy. The cheese. Oh yeah. So that was Beer Man Beer for this week. Follow us on Instagram.

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