Riders

In here, folks.

Before we dive in, just a friendly reminder that Beer Belly Sports is a podcast, not a mensa meeting. They're not CNN, ESPN, not your mom's book club, and they're definitely not to be trusted with an intelligent thought. They're here for laughs, beer, and a good time, not pulid surprises or perfect stats. The opinions, hot takes, and wild predictions you're about to hear are strictly their own and possibly influenced by whatever was on tap earlier in the day.

You know what I really like about Mother's Day weekend?

What's that the check?

Well, it's also fishing over about traffic.

I think it's pretty much always hand in hand with.

His it is. I don't remember like the last time that it.

Was last year.

Oh my god, God, the words Johnny Carson, I did not know that. That's what I'm here, God, that's what I'm here for. Man, you know what would I do without you?

I don't know. I actually I don't know what I would without the information that I learned before or after the show. I you know, I would be just like the sheltered person learning all the new.

Ways, all the new ways be cool.

Well, I don't necessarily know if that was cool what you taught me before about the zamboniing thing. But you know what those times I okay, I just not when we touched, but sometime. God, no, don't talk about that and then touching.

That's wrong. Hand Justin said on early today, as we are because Bruce and I have been up since uh, middle of the night. I have been two fifty for me, three thirty for me.

Yeah. I was driving by you and I was like, yeah, you're still sleeping, sand bag. You're right, yeah, what were you talking about? The what you like about Mother's Day weekend?

Uh? I just like that. It's you know, it's you could tell spring is in the air, it's getting closer. It's been cold though, you know what, it's been fucking annoying I hate that.

That's all right though. It's kind of nice though. It's like it's like a fall day, and the fall is my favorite.

Mostly everybody's favorite.

Well, sure, why not? Hey, if you were to be in a band, what instrument or would you know? Lead? Sing? What would you be?

Ooh A tough one. I feel like a drums drums, but every dude wants to do the drums are like, okay at it too?

Are you okay? No way, you're okay at drums? Fine? Like what do you mean? Like if you set up drums right now, you could like hold a beat.

I can hold the beat for sure.

No way, I would bet. I would pay money. Really, I would bet money that you can't do?

You really want to do that?

Yeah? We were some drums? You got any drums here? Uh?

No, bo I'm gonna put some drums.

Oh no, he didn't.

The game time for another Peter Beley Sports.

Where are we going to find drums?

Uh? Scott has uh his uh uh guitar hero drums his whole set.

Okay, that's different. Oh just throw you know what I will. I would actually take that if you could actually hard on hard. Okay, we can't you do like medium and like kid speed.

Can can I get like a couple of wax at at first?

Yea?

All you want?

Brother?

Damn it. I wish I did tell you.

I would say that I'm more like a bass guy, you know, because it's like not a whole lot to do. Okay, you're still part of the band lead singer, I don't. I mean, if I had the voice, I'd be sick to be like the lead singer.

But you can. You can do it.

No, I don't think so, but yeah I would. I would. I'd be okay with that bad guitar hero drums if you could like uh hot for teacher on hard. I know that one's on there. I I used to frequent that game, but I did not so much that I

You guys are actually in a band. Weren't you one time?

Oh yeah, I Love Stands, Love Stands, Love Stands Over the songs. No, we just we just you know, we went off the you know, we just played the hits the Beaten Path. Yeah, we just played the hits, you know whatever. It was on a rock band. Nate was on the drums, I was a guitar, and Dustin was the lead singer. He's got the he's got the pipes. I have like two songs I can sing. Which ones are Little Willie I can? I can that one. I can nail and friends in little places, not real hard.

I got a three pound perch. I went losers and there.

Yeah, you're such a loser, Sam bag gross.

That's not gross. It's fucking natural to each their own, to each their own, each their own.

However, you want to get that business done, get that business done. For my money, I'll go.

You could be all four.

I'm not going all four. That's weird.

To each their own or.

One of my favorite quatches I learned from somebody was I don't want to yuck.

On your You said that last week too.

It's one of my favorites. It's a good one. It's a good one because you know, you can pretty much use like if you don't like it. It doesn't mean everybody has to not like it. I mean, you're not wrong. I know I'm not wrong, and you better not yuck on my you you mother? No, God, not gross?

Why not?

God? Don't get around a black light, jeezus.

And track lighting.

End. If it's track lighting and black light, you're done.

It's over.

You wanna know how I know you're you're gonna You're gonna like power someone's house. It's just like the irradiation watch. Just there, ass is gonna be like, what's going on down there?

They're gonna hit the auxiliary thing like an it's gonna.

Blow the power to the house, Like what's going on? Man, just gone boom boom, just stuff blowing around.

They're gonnah that.

Obviously, yeah, stuff was blowing around. Thanks Bruce, You're welcome. Bruce.

Hey, Bruce, high five, Bruce, Thanks Bruce.

Be cool like Ricky Henderson talk by myself in third person? That'd be so sweet.

You know he wanted the Tiger.

I'm sure, dude, he's Ricky. Ricky gonna do this. It's like, oh man, it's so cool. Like I think I'm too old now to make myself talking third person, but I think that would be like the sweetest thing. Do you think Jesus talking third person? It was so cool? Sweet? Yeah, Jesus did this? Does Does he talks a third person?

Do you think he doesn't talking?

Though? I mean, I mean Sigall had a good run.

Yeah, he's he had one good movie?

Which one? I think he's got a couple.

No Siege two with Tommy. Yeah, I know.

The only reason you like that one is because the chick that comes out of the damn cake that movie. Does he get off the boat?

Tomahawk?

Yeah? Is that what you call that?

Yeah? Tomahawk?

You you were Zamboni. You were Tomahawk and the Zamboni. Wow? Real mature?

Oh wow, tma hawking birth where would say.

Tom hopping xam? You're zam bony your tomahawk? However, you want to word that, lamboney. I hope some people know what we're saying. Probably not, Probably Dustin would Yeah, I think Dustin, there's a lot of people. Probably I did not. I would not have understood that prior to like twenty minutes ago.

I thought, you're a fan of that one show.

I am a particular fan of that show. Must not have heard that one sad really sing it to me? Bret Michaels, Is that how you start? We both are sutn is that how you start your.

Zamber has a song?

Let's start the show after.

That, I'm trying to get all of social media stuff.

So trying to get the social media stuff going.

On social media stuff going?

Are you going to talk about the the things? Yeah?

Yeah, things things with ladies?

Things are the ladies?

Probably?

Probably?

Yeah?

What all entails him getting the like you're just like commenting on everything now.

No, it's trying to make sure put it in our groups, make sure people share it.

Oh why did you? How did you really really emphasize that it share it?

Because I don't see you ever sharing stuff. I share some stuff means so you don't ever share the show or the stream.

I don't want to share my stream.

And it's okay, Well I don't want you share.

I'm sorry, all right, I'll do better. I'll do better.

Okay, would you normally.

Do a good job?

Thank you? I try so.

I mean what what then, I'm just like double streaming.

Double streaming, doing it on multiple.

Levels, multiple multiple levels of streaming. I mean, do you think that's what the R Kelly was trying to do?

Oh uh, he try. He tried Golden Shower a couple.

Of times, right, I think more than a couple.

Do you think that he has like you should have a song called Golden Shower?

I think Dave Chappelle did a fantastic of the making his remaking his song and what he was trying to do or I guess I wouldn't say trying to do did successful? Yeah that's gross.

I mean it could be could have been a way worse.

I guess I don't think so, but I mean it.

Could have been like P Diddy some oils.

Does that make it worse? I think that might make it better. It's like like a layer of protection over the urine, that detection. Yeah, you know, like you know, vassiline protect stuff.

You know, go outside, nerve all right, all.

Right, that's fine. Yeah, that's it.

We've got to stop, yea, we gotta stop. Were gonna be in trouble of these times, one of these times. Okay, maybe I will all right, start show, starts show.

Okay, this is double fisting TVs matter.

Scroll into his phone. Scott's down on his business degrees. Dustin keeps the show rolling off with a midget anisode of talking spots and having fun. We take beer too, shot bad. We've been at each other. Yeah. Heerbelly Sports is what we're called, Sammy.

Bros A Sports. Good morning, a good afternoon, good even. It doesn't matter where you are. This is Beer Belly Sports Company from the Runway Lounge just south of Bomigie. You know where is. It is north of the Minneapolis Twin city area and two hours away from the old Canadian border. My name's Mac Geffrey, owner, host, probably maybe the worst host of the show ever. But but then to my immediate left is he looks really good in sunglasses.

And these are clear.

Buddy, they are clear. Uh, they are nice and beautiful glasses. And I think it looks handsome and it is Bruce Lake.

Thank you for that very awkward and weird introduction. It could be worse that that's what they're madism could be worse. Pull that string, baby, we'll call back from last week.

Pull that string.

What do we have going on today?

A lot of good things today normally, like we have.

A great show for you. Gotta be great, use that word quite a bit.

We do a lot of things, do a lot of things.

We're gonna talk some sports. Got a couple other topics, because there's nobody wants to talk about the Twins right now.

I mean there is.

I mean I'm kind to do because our bet is going really opposite for you very early in the season. Yet there's one hundred and sixty two games in the season. But uh, I mean, ok, I'm already yet by like eleven games on our bet.

We let's talk about the bet. What is going on with the bet for us?

Who finishes with the better record? I picked the Cubs, he picked the Twins, And I think my Cubs are like twenty five and you're Twins are like at sixteen wins. That's true.

I just want to like play here surely against the Guardians.

Guardians y yeah, whatever, But there's still only like three games out in the Al Central.

Al Central has always been like garbage, and.

A couple of years ago it was like everybody, Yeah.

One of the best quick turnover. So yeah. Today's show is being brought to you by.

Seventh Aven Pizza before pizza became Trendy's.

Being brought to you by Home Choice. Right here, Beniji. If you're looking for any electronics or even furniture and what we found out maybe a new monitor because this one's almost shot. Uh, go to Home Choice get a hundred dollars off on your purchase by using the promo code in store only. Home Our Beer Belly Sports.

Home Choice Home also brought to you by Nob and Kettle, Quaintly nestled between Lake George and Lake Alice, get out there for a fantastic food experience with Josh and the Gang.

They have one of the best and they have a Mother's Day special as well too.

They do, that's right.

They're also also being brought to you by the j d's Outpost Rodeo Rodeo June nineteenth and twentieth. Bruce and Egernna be there for a live right before the event happens, and it's gonna be a great time. And I'm really look for it. I'm not been in rodeo in a couple of.

Years, probably like five or six. I think I went to the one in Park Rapids.

That's a big one too.

Fun.

That is a June nineteenth and twentieth. Think they would do a live It's a nice rodeo. It's gonna be out in Solway.

Uh where's that? Where's that adding?

So it's right at you know where the J. D Apple's bar is. Yeah, right there, literally right there, like right behind the bar. They have all that open space out there. Oh sure, sure, sure right there. In course, we're gonna be there, banner. What we're gonna have a signage, what we're gonna have, We're gonna be there in person, What we're gonna look good? Wow, drink drink a lot of beer.

I do have a cowboy hat, and I know and every bigger.

Than my head. That sounds right, fucking got me on that one, that son of a bitch.

It's a very nice cowboy hat.

Your hat is bigger than.

I'm glad that you said it, and I didn't have to because that had been awkward. You know, I'm trying to show off my hat. Noess.

You know, sometimes you have to.

I mean, I'll present it. You know, I'm just not gonna you.

Let it flop out.

It's not flopping, you know.

Pretty sturdy, sturdy, sturdy.

It's up there.

That's up stiff brim stiff brim stiff brimm.

Also brought to you by Pop Up Communications, connecting the Bamigian Grand Rapid area for over fifty years and the Beer Billy Sports Network for over two cow. Yeah, whatever noises you make for that, Thank you, Brian Bissonette. They actually gave us a shout out on their last Uh.

Yeah he did. He did commercial or yeah, commercial on uh I'm not sure it's on the actual radio, but he said it to us.

Yeah, fair enough.

I mean we'll take it to say.

It might be like, yeah, you're sure, sure I do that.

I've not listened to radio here in town for a while because I've been south of the south of town. So it's like it does have reception.

Oh sure, sure, for sure.

There you go, stiff, Sorry, talks amongst yoursel.

There's just me or so I'll just be talking to myself. So it's true. It's true. It's true.

Let's see that is it Fratz.

That where we covered the h covered the bills, did.

Cover the bills, all right, So we have a great show for you guys today. Uh Dustin and he's worked his ass off today and Scott is going to do uh it's a fishing opener.

Yep, he's out there family.

He up his families with his brother Donnie uh in Grand Rapids. So of course all the Wilsons are over there. It's like a basically a big ass.

Thank god he's still with us after the Shenanigans of yesterday.

No ship, that was okay? Do you want to quickly talk about that about?

All I know is what he text us about the It sounded like a lumber falling down. And then everybody's like, get down, get out. And there was like a shooting over by the West Frasier Fields, the old softball fields there, Meg and everybody got okay, and the person got arrested and.

Sixteen year old kid really yeah, dumb dumb kids doing dumb things.

Yeah fun. Was it multiple or just like one shot? Just one?

I don't know, but I supposedly three people got hurt, so problem more than one? List is just some magic bullet shit?

Yeah, what is it the Wanting movie with Angelina and Jolie where she can curve it like this. Yeah, tell you God, do tell you got to do checks out in a science world. Yeah we got it.

Yeah, Justin said, I feel like I should rewrite my last comment. It is worded poorly. I did even read the last comment. Matt likes the single moms are sad. Their defense is lowered.

Defense Lord lowers down their inhibitions.

Yeah. Yeah, they love at the standards for me, which is a nice thing. That's okay, I mean that's okay, right, Sar? All right, Uh, should we do the old.

Crack that first beer cracked?

The first beer is my beer.

It's time for the b Billy Sports six pack, brought to you by Bryce Primo from Team Cermac real Estate. Just like your favorite Minnesota team, you need someone who knows how to close by, sell, move, win with Bryce Primo and the Bimagey area called two and eight seven six zero nine seven eight nine, or send an email to Premonition three sixty five at hotmail dot com.

All right, so this first one, uh it feels like a game. Is this a game? No?

This is I mean, you can you can make it a game. I'd say, but it's kind of a just a h JJ McCarthy was with Kay Adams, I believe in the Internet says it's true.

So uh, of course, it's.

As much googling as I know how to do. I googled and it said it's true that JJ McCarthy was asked to list his five the top five wide receivers in the NFL right now. His list starts off with Amen Ross, Saint Brown, what Jamar Chase, dk Metcalf Kula and Zay Flowers. Oh weirdly leaving a huff, which some people would say that is the best wide receiver in the NFL. Justin Jefferson, his teammate. I don't know how the question was worded. If it was like maybe outside.

Of your team, but which makes sense, I don't.

Yeah, so it's that's how he That's what he said, and I think it's just kind of funny, like even if it was like out of your team, like, no, it's still Justin Jefferson's number one. But JJ McCarthy, who chose the route of five other players not on his team.

I had a feeling it had to be like not on your team.

I don't know, I imagine she just who are the best five wide receivers? So I don't know which. Again, I can't find the video of it. I've just seen like tweets and whatever else about it, and.

My uh yeah X, Travis would say X.

But yeah, it's popped up on my feed multiple times so I could goog listen. It is true. In May of twenty twenty six, he did say those five people and not his own wide receiver. Really, do you think Justin, I mean Justin Jeffers has done nothing but defend him Jesus?

Yeah, well, I mean that happens when you I mean, you can't get the ball either kind of overthrow under throw them if you.

Get the Roads nine? Yeah, who I forget? Did did he or did he not beat the Lions last year?

Uh? Okay, let's call him the fuck that.

And then that's where the nine, his self proclaimed nickname, came in.

Yeah that's okay, I'm fine, everything's fine. No, I'm fine. Are you fine?

Was the last quick thing before we like, you know, it's like a little football, but that two losses to the Vikings gave the Lions the easiest schedule. You're welcome, And then how are you we welcome. I don't know you're welcome for losing to us, right, you're welcome. No, that we we didn't get the easiest one, obviously, but yeah, I just thought that was kind of funny. Get starter there that JJ McCarthy didn't mention his own wide receiver.

It's a tough look.

It is a tough look.

But again it's it depends how it's worded, though.

Do you think he's your try arder?

Now?

For him or Kyler? If anybody asked Kyler that question, he's hammering justin Jefferson eyes of the one.

Yeah, jets, all the all the way, all the way to the next. All right, next one, let's get to the next speer. I'm sorry, think that quick, she said, all right, next one. The Timbers are the series is tied one one, and they go against the tall fucking tree of the Spurs. Don't know his name, Victor Webbin Yama. He fell one day and uh owns the.

Sports podcast does not know Victor Webbin.

Don't like basketball. I hate basketball.

I bet it's like it's he's almost to the point where like people that don't know basketball know Victor Webbin Yama.

That's some tall only Yeah.

He's ridiculously good. But yeah, they stomped the hell out of us. I think you was.

Ninety five or something like that.

I watched the first half and realized, well, and it was getting close to my bedtime anyways, but I watched the first half and realized, like, man, we ain't got nothing. Aunt was missing everything. He could hit the broadside of a bomb, but he's I mean, he's came back early from his hyper extended knee. Oof doum. That's I don't know. I didn't really think they had a chance to win anyways, but then they won Game one. They stucked out. We

Could hit the best fucking player ever, just Iron Iron. You just can't.

You just can't dribble the ball, which in basketball is kind of a big deal. But he has actually kind of made a career out of it without being able to, Like, you can't throw it low, you can't throw it high. Hold on, he can catch an alleyube. I will I will correct myself there, but he's done fairly well. The Spurs just they figure out a way when he screens, they trap the person with the ball and they are like just making them give up the ball to Rudy at the top of the tee and he can't dribble

I was gonna turn it on when soon, but.

Well, we will be done with this podcast before that thing starts. I will bed and Tyler sister talking about basketball. I'm so glad that x is jumping on dude chat Holmgrin and that whole Oakland. I mean, as professional athletes, do you think that you would be, like have more pride and the way that they flop, Like he got like bumped by DeAndre Ayton, like in his chest. He flew down to the ground and was grabbing his face. It's it's not even just Alexander anymore that's doing it.

There should be there.

They're supposed to be like, I don't know. They replayed that one with chet Holmgren and it was just like that's a common foul. Like since you replayed it and you watched him absolutely fall down and grab his face when it wasn't anywhere close, It's like, come on, man, that is I don't know. That's the I think one of the biggest problems with basketball now.

Is more more reason why don't watch basketball. I love the nineties type basketball.

Yes, that's well, I mean eighties, nineties were fantastic, two thousands were good, early two thousands, and then it just got into this and I don't really hate the three ball. Like everybody's like, oh that to ruin the game. Well, it's just more points. It's you know, like you make it, that's three. And now all the shooters are you know there used to have like a few guys that you know, hit threes, and everybody else could hit the fifteen footer. But now they all can hit the three. The biggs

All right. Next one where I gonna put my bud in different spots because I can't find Yeah, you do. It is the the greatest duet.

Of all time has been has been coined as pop culture has said I Got You Babe by Sonny and Cher, great song, and Sonny Bono said he thought the song was dumb and didn't think it would go anywhere, but pop culture just said that that was the number one from nineteen I mean it was created in nineteen sixty five. What's your favorite duet? Here's the list?

Okay, do you want to give you a list? Can I give you my list or my number one?

Yes?

Uh, it's gonna be Dolly and Kenny Isles in the Stream.

Right, and then this one in no particular order. They have endless Love, Diana Ross, lionel Richie.

Fuck and that guy was going something in Yeah, he is going through it.

Eight, No Mountain high enough with Marvin Gay and Mountain we keep singing. And then Island in the Stream was number three. Keep saying I thought, uh, don't go breaking my heart Elton John and.

Kiki d don't go breaking my heart.

See, I didn't think this one would be on there, and I not at after I read the list, I was gonna go chalk with you and Island in the Stream, but under pressure with Queen and David Bowie is unbelievable. They obviously I got you, Babe, good song, you Don't Bring Me Flowers Barbari streisand and Neil Diamond that one I'm not so familiar with, Stop Dragging my Heart around with Steve Nickson, top Petty banger, U don't know much, Linda Ross Dad and Aaron Neville. No, it's don't know much,

Also the used and and abused, No h guy from a tree using a tree. They made a remake of that one too.

Which one under pressure under Pressure great song. Yeah, I would have went with I was gonna go with uh Islands in the Stream, Thanks Travis, you know when we're doing our baseball games. And then he played that, and then he played uh the Heart song we like so much straight heat, Yeah, justin.

Said start calling technical follows on Floppy.

They should definitely should.

Uh, Kelsey Johnson's brother twenty two guys in North Branch love the show. Hell yeah, that sounds like a do.

They have Do they have a favorite duet in North Brand?

What's your favorite duet in North Branch? Because I think my sex sounds like two guys here in North Branch.

That sounds like a that sounds like a video there.

What's your name?

What's your name? Though? The lady that bangs everybody a.

Lot of ladies, Bonnie Blue.

How do you know that it's called internet? Try it out sometime? No, no, god, no, nobody should do that like that. But yeah, but the second one would be, uh, I don't know much with Aaron Neville, you know, the highest voice like Aaron nevillea Eminem coined that term, but I thought that was got a little bit of fun. Get off of sports because there's not a nobody wants to talk with the twins.

Yeah, I don't want talk about sports. Twins are on Apple TV by the way, too, so that sucks balls, which is fine. They probably lose anyways to the Guardians, But uh, you.

Don't know that. You just said they made a trade for a guy with like a sixth something.

Yeah, oh, let's talk can we get let's talk about that?

Yeah, go ahead, Remember I mean that's a duet.

So the Minnesota Twins a quote unquote traded for a guy who's gonna get uh uh put on waivers, which is fucking dumb. But his ear is like in the six which makes no fucking sense. He's gonna hit the waiver wire, so why or hits the Yeah, hits the white waiver wire. Who go freeency?

So but anybody could have grabbed him at that point in time. Yeah, and I think they probably, like I said, they probably just gave him up for like one of those stacking crackers in the ritz thing. They say cash, but it was it was crackers.

Uh.

Cody says, we had limited fun here, limited limited limited, limited, limited funny words, limited limited funny words say.

Probably probably, Oh you got that one. What was the word last week? You couldn't say that. I don't know, I don't remember, but yeah, that's it all right, move on quickly. You said, do you want to make this show fast?

I mean, yeah, let's see you try to find a good one, doesn't it?

Silence time?

Now?

Just spin the wheel, to place is located directly north of the North Pole. And then she told me she loved me, that she lies. That thing I got away with what do you do to your hair?

Lot? What do you do with your hair? Actually just got to like a haircut. A couple of days ago. I went to the tech here and uh it was nice. The girls did my hair. They trimmed my beard since I don't have a.

And what hair products do you?

What hair products do I use?

Well? How do you how do you wash? That? Is it men's or women's.

To be honest, like my friend Kelsey, which she would probably say, because I use a lot of Like the body soap is women's because that's why my hands are nice and soft. My body's nice soft and soap? WHI is I have like this almond butter soap shampoo? Oh yeah, that's really nice.

Yeah?

Oh god, stay hot.

Apparently the women's products for you is working keeps your body soft and your hands soft. I use a h a shampoo and conditioner that helps my thinning hair look a little bit full to try to keep the windows peaks at bay for a minute. And then I use a bar of soap. That's that's what I yeah, outside of that. After I was like twelve years old, I stopped using like hairspray or moose. It's just however that lays down. I don't I don't comb it. Not much

I mean there is.

Right ridge, but I mean after that, you know, there's there's eyebrows, ridge, a little bit of forehead and then thinning airline.

But uh, Justin said, are you doing anything for Mother's for mother? I think for Mother's Day? Bruce? Are you or are you leaving that to Scott since his dad made sweet love to your mom? Wow, that's cold blooded.

Yeah, that's kind of a funny story. He was at my house and sitting there watching TV and Scott's dad walks in and he goes, who's that? You know what? Scott's dad and he goes he banged your mom and all Rod Scott, Yeah, yeah, my brother. I was like ambul that guy banged your mom, Like, yeah, thanks, Justin, That's great, real great.

I didn't know. Yeah, I will, well, sorry.

Get my mother a present.

Thanks Justin fucking brilliant. Kelsey's uh, have you you have better hair products than me? Oh?

Yeah for sure. Yeah that was live. I jumped on and You're like just totally going, well, you know, then Kennedy's in the background. I don't even get that stuff. Your daughter doesn't get the hair products that you do, and the ladies hair products like fucking good, get off my I'm not on it, nor near it. It was just kind of a shocking. It's like I just assumed men used men's hair care products. I guess you know what I.

Mean, women have really nice just like women will use men's yodorant. They do all the time. I like to use women's body wash.

Or use Are you on the women's side of that too? You know you use ladies for menopause? Use this MAT's like I'm hot, hotter.

Hotter, four pound crappie anyone yet? No?

No, yeah, might as well go the hell bartender Yeah, that was kind of a shock, like I just assumed, you know. I mean, for the longest time I used old spice, like three in one it was like shampoo, conditioner and body wash, and then I was like TikTok reels and whatever else were like the worst ever you can And that's like, well, maybe that's why my hair is.

Thinning, Kelsey says metrosexual. Cody says, so are you and my sister Kay best friends? No? Yes, yes, they are hard pass. Yeah.

They talk about hair care products all the time together. That's how we found out his new formula.

The almond butter. The almond butter, almond butter.

My skin soft in my hands, I mean outside of the fact that you, dude, do you ever tell like I want you to call one are your firemen buddies right now and be like, do you use almond butter on your skin to keep it?

Uh? Oh, text Cody right now soft and rejuvenized?

Do you use anything on your beard?

I actually have my own product for that, not my own.

You made your own, Yes, I'm sure you did. Don't get the black like that'll probably glow to sick bastard, do you women's And maybe I'm the only male that doesn't use women's hair care products. I imagine i'm not, because there's like a lot of like, you know, just for men, and Matt's.

Like, fuck threw that.

But I mean, I just there's always these commercials out there with like the old spice that's for men that have almond butter in them. You say no, you say no. Have you tried?

Yeah, I don't like him.

You did try, yeah, because they had almond butter in it.

Yeah no, No, just didn't work.

Why did you try it? Then?

I just like it because I want to. I brought a I bought one on the road for a dollar. A dollar. JE know it once, I feel like I made me. I feel like it made me smell dirtier. I assume the old spice.

Yeah, you're you're alive today because your grandpa wore old spice. It's one of the best jokes.

Can I please have your attention. I've just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story, and I need all of you to stop what you're doing and listen.

Ten pounds, ten pounds, ten pounds, Oh fuck, yeah, good job.

Would you get crappy? I know I didn't look ooh, ten pounds catfish, grayfish?

Don't you worry about a baby catfish?

Congrat Thank you, thank you, You're welcome.

Umm suck that.

So anyway'm breaking news that I have. I just asked one of my best friends, Cody, my former firefighter also a deputy sheriff.

I so badass.

Yeah, So I asked him, like, do you women's hair products? He said no? Lol? All right, well there you go.

God damn it, your firefighter men are now going to be making fun of you.

What else is fucking new?

If there's ever a picture of you up at any hall, it's gonna have lady parts on it now, or like you know, like you're gonna get like a Tier era.

Liz uh text me said, oh my god, you have you are more girlier than me. I like certain things. Fuck I touch masks.

That's not her, that is is it?

I'm pretty sure it is.

I don't know.

I wouldn't know or anything.

I've only seen like uh, I like Josh Gad do it and stuff like that on lip syncing. Oh I see, but who cares. We're not here for music.

Here, We're here.

We're here to talk about Matt's hair care products. Later do you do you use the almond butter all the way down?

Well, I usually start out with the hair, then the beard, and then we'll kind of go from there, just like.

The soap and whatever. Just right now, you don't scrub down at all.

I already done that already. What do you mean? Well, when I get a shower, I'll to do this as well. I brush my teeth in the shower.

Me too, easier.

You killow two birds one so on, right, and I might be singing the shower too.

Yeah, do you sound better?

Obviously? The cusics in the fucking.

Fantastic and there's nobody around. It's like in your car when you don't think anybody's listening. But so you don't you don't like grub like you don't take like a bar of soap. You just let the soap. I don't.

I don't. I don't have a loofah, I don't have our a little like thing on a stick on things use a hand, he's a hand.

They're so buttery soft, got it's gotta be abrasive. I have my bar of soap has like a cover that's you know, and then it's it's it's supposed to exfoliate your skin. Yeah, just learned that like three months ago when Jada got me a new borrow soap, A man soap. I gotta say that after I said exfoliate, it's a man soap. It's a man soap. I can't remember if it's uh sasquatch or whatever the hell that one is, but yes, she buys it for me.

But yeah, oh this is a good one. Bruce, you totally. You are totally the Jason Kelsey of the show. Only reason why I listen.

Thank you. That's good. He's far more athletic than me and a better talker. But I think you've got better hair too. But I bet we would look about the same in the speedo when he busted out the American flag speedo.

Find out whip it out?

Stop it?

Stop it?

Because I didn't they stop it? You still stop it? All right? That's been the weird far.

Oh yeah, Matthew's a lady tear leader.

All right. Next one, Oh well, this one isn't super bad. His team stinks worse than a two day old Gasse role.

Here's the mean. You saw what a pile.

I don't really called him a pile, but after that fucking performance.

Not terrible.

They could have done better.

Nine to six and went five to two and one of them was an empty netter. Uh the while, they've kind of been all class. I mean, Bret Burns kicked Crow Caprice off in the dick, all right, that was And I asked, is that a penalty in hockey? I guess maybe I don't know the rules, but the puck was there and he's trying to kick it out. But I think with skates on, you should be able to try to kick towards somebody's groin.

Uh.

You know, Brent Burns and them are doing a great job of getting inside her.

Head wild and uh yeah, and UH love that.

I don't want to sound like a beaten you know, we beat the beaten person here, but uh, not having jewel erics and that Brodine, Oh.

Uh, Cody said twenty five. Dude just learned how to stay single with Matt's hair. Yeah, well, good, stay single? Do it then? Do it?

Just get just get caught from across the bar staring at jugs happened one time.

One time I got caught and there at early twenties, early twenties, staring at jugs and falls early twenties. Yeah, and that happens, right, that might be if you get caught lurking with your eyes, that will, you know, help.

That's why he developed periphiles peris.

That's that's when. Right then and there, young Matthew was like, I can't stare anymore. And much like the Wild, it takes.

What it takes one time, like Spider Man always his everybody's one. That what he said, That's what he said. Okay, I don't know if that's for sure what he says, but that's what I've always said.

But I think the Wall to say Paul will make an appearance again on Saturday, which is I think good for the while that it was a three day.

Break needed it. Uh, the Wall was getting his ass fucking it just more exhaustion. I think, well, he's doing it over time. And then all those like.

Citi's never played seven in a row in his NHL career and whatever, I mean, it can't be just on him. I mean some of them were right that I.

Wish Scott was here because Scott would fucking well, just.

The speed of the avalanche versus the speed of the stars is far different. So I mean, I just we don't know if we're prepared. We lost two in a row to the Stars, came back in one, four to two, back.

At home, back at almost Saturday.

Yeah Saturday, and we just got to put up a better performance. We weren't totally out of either of these games. No, just the end scores. I mean, I don't think we were in that game at all, because I mean when crill tidends like one to one, I'm like, here we go. And then they got a two to one, and then it was three to one, but four to one, and then I went to the bathroom and it was like forty two, Like, well, what the hell just happened? I don't even know scored that other.

Goal the first the first goal the other night was like it's a bang, bang, like they got a goal. And then Caprizov set right away.

We did Steve win would.

Love for.

Prefer we we put some shots on him. He did, he did a good job. I don't know what else to say. We got out classed in Colorado. So hope we can come back. I think we can. I said I think the Wild can win it this year, and I hope I'm right, and I'll stick I stand by that you stand by that. I stick by that. Stand by them, bar stand on that. Do you want to shot?

Then it goes at least game It's now time and for another Peter Beley sports to.

Game seven at least.

Okay, so a game seven, game.

Seven, even if the Avalanche win, I bet it goes at least to game seven.

Okay, check?

Got it?

All right? Cool? Got it? So you want to go to a game seven?

And if I think that's the only way, that's that's It's gotta be a long series. We're not gonna win the next four in a row. It's not gonna be game six. So we gotta win three out of them, you know, four out of the next you know, God damn, you got it up. It's an uphill battle. It's an uphill battle. McKinnon's a monster, I mean, but I mean he was being aggressively. I mean, I'm pretty sure that was boarding on Quinn hughes.

Oh he got his teeth kicked in there.

They're getting used to the Quinn spin. You know, he doesn't he spins. It's like they were pretty on that hoping they get a little cocky maybe, you know, and let off the gas. But because most of the time, the President's cover whatever. The team with the best record in the NHL normally loses in the first or second round, and I think they're they're trying to put that one to rest with Steve Winwood and hate.

His name's Wedgewood, but it's Windwood to us.

Yeah, he's he's a higher love.

Hey, fucking banger song it is.

It's a good song, but it's unfortunate, especially being and jewel lyrics and X scated today and then was sitting on the bench, so it's not looking good for him to start tomorrow. They moved a year off up to the line Two's a guy that I was, you know this year is hoping was going to be better. He's been doing, you know, a lot better, and you just we can't give up these I mean, Gustuson kind of started off soft, so I guess I don't know.

Well, we need him to show up in his fucking snowmobiler again because last time when you called his ass out, yeah he called the show. It's on his fuck of snowmobile and he reamed you reamed his ass out.

Yeah right, Well, I need the wall of Saint Paul, I need, I need yesper Walstead to stand the fuck up, be better.

Be better, do better.

I mean, although he was a rookie and he got us out of the first round. Since twenty fifteen, maybe maybe we celebrated a little too much. I mean, most of those guys, I don't think any of those guys were on the same on that team. So let's say eleven years ago. Nope, not a chance. I didn't even think we have any coaches.

Probably not.

Andrew Burnett finally got fired. He must have had, like I don't know how many coaches he went through and was still the assistant coach. But oh boy, Minnesota sports for you, Yeah, it's a good time. Well, hey, they're they're playing Lisa there, they're there. You can't win a championship without being in the playoffs. They write that down. It's like put that down with Wayne Gretzky's you missed

Boom, that's a great meme.

Yeah, there it is.

That's great.

And I just came up with that on my own. Somebody else might have said it. But I said it now I don't know. Nope, I just can't wear that my own straight ahead. All right, it's move on from the wild depression. Oh yeah, they're gonna winning Game seven though.

Alright, Oh, it looks like the Minnesota Vikings have added another receiver. Why did they add another receiver, Bruce?

Oh, well, we needed one because we lost Jalen Naylor, so we needed to add a receiver. And Juwan Jennings he's got a lot of touchdowns in his career. Like even his first year he only got was it twenty four catches and he had five touchdowns, and last year he had fifty five catches and nine touchdowns. So he's kind of like a red zone target. And if everybody forgets I know the forty nine ers lost in that Super Bowl, he made that sick catch like you bounced off.

Racy Harvin still yes, but he's got you got headaches, migrant ship.

He's probably probably just as fast as anybody in the NFL.

Still run him deep, run him deep fucking nine out here.

Thanks Davis.

Deep.

Matt's like draft Tremarcus Russell too. You throw the ball seventy five knees, throw over at the stadium.

You know what?

We needed another live this year. I mean ty Felton. We drafted ahead of camp Scataboo last year, which kind of.

I do.

He doesn't believe in c T CTE. You shouldn't tell it too late.

Probably has it.

We don't know that.

What he's Yeah, dude runs like a fucking angry man.

That's that's good. Good, Yeah, John Riggins, I don't think he had c T Maybe he did, I guess. I don't know. But you know who knows. He's a young running back. So he's just a bro man, and that's why everybody thinks he's got ct He's a dude, he's a bro he's a dude, he's a bro. You're not a dude. He's like a bro. He like he talks like the youngsters do, which, like you know, anytime I watch a video with him talking, I don't understand most of it, Like.

Anything like Aiden talks to me, I'm like, slow down.

So what if he wasn't wearing a hat? I don't get it.

A text me like, it's incorrect spelling, and I thought I was bad. Oh yeah, and it's incorrect spelling. I'm like, I think I know what he means.

Yeah, fuck it, it's ironic. There's something coming on in the news about that.

What spelling something along those lines. Interesting. It's interesting is that for later? Is that a later Bruce is picking up on the yeah, the old on the old T stuff.

Yeah, finally forty four years my name is Bruce, but uh yeah. And the Vikings also have a GM search going on now after the draft, which I thought is very, very weird. But here are some names.

Do you want music?

Not really, it doesn't really matter. We'll put some music on it.

Okay, hold on, now I fucking left it.

Because Rob Razinski was their acting GM and now they're uh he said, fuck, they're so far, the Vikings have interviewed UH the Bill's assistant GM, Terrence Gray, and here are some other hot names. Dave Ziggler of the Titans, John McKay of the Rams, Okay Nolan Teasley of the Seahawks, and Chad Alexander of the Chargers, all very kind of up and coming teams. So we'll see. Hopefully none of those guys use Pro Football Focus for their draft boards. That would be phenomenal. I don't have a horse in

I like their draft to be honest, I totally forgot that they had an assistant GM for the draft and interim in. Yeah, same church, different right.

Right, Zamboni, Ambony whatever you know, kind of the same. No, No, I'm not never zamboning. I'm not a monster Jesus uncultured swine.

I'm not.

Yes, yes you are, but so I don't know. It's just kind of weird to me that they're picking the GM after the draft and after free agencies already started their team's already set, and now you're going to pick a GM to guide your team with what like, what trades during the year, I mean in the upcoming years? Sure you know, don't you know? Don't go crazy and then take your team from cap Hell. We're all like, sweet, we're out of cap Hell and then put it right a cap hill.

So I remember how much you guys really loved him. I like the idea of him. Nah, don't fucking back out of him. What do you mean all about it?

Tell me how it was all about.

I didn't go back and find you find that, you find that, you tell me that.

I was like, oh, qusy, don't foments. I knew nothing about him. Again, I'd be like, I don't have a horse in this race. I don't know nothing about him. But he wasn't gonna be Zimmer. And then it's like, okay, he's not gonna be Zimmer. He's more analytically based. Zimmer was like, you know, more of the feel of the game and whatever else. First draft, what's to do? He trades backs like, oh my god, we have Spielman again. That's not Zimmer, but Spielman. We got Spielman again. And

What kind of pie?

What do you think banana cream pie and hair pie? You understand what you picking it up wh I'm putting.

Down, piet I just took over banana cream strawberry shirt, rubar.

Ubar French Ti Median over there close to guy.

But that is pretty much it for the first half.

We uh hold on, I don't get to the music.

Motor through this. Just Matt does not he owns the sports Card podcast and does not does not care for sports, talk too much about sports.

You lose him.

You start look at him. He's on his phone and all he does then is just randomly hit button bars. Like a woman in your room, chambermaid.

Explain what a chamber Uh a chambermaid is?

I think that's just like what the like, you know, like a maid, you know, like basically like back in the day, like you know, like clean up the castle, chambermaid.

It's a woman in your room.

Yes, it's a woman in your room.

That bit from Seinfeld George Castanza.

He screwed a uh house, not the house cleaning, but the cleaning lady at his job.

Yeah, and he got fired.

That's such a funny bit. So, uh, you had sex with the cleaning lady? Yeah, I know I didn't. Who told you that she did?

Oh?

Well, I mean is that at my other job?

That was that?

You're not supposed to do that here? No? No, and he lost to Rachel Green.

Yep, that sucks, idiots. No, it's fine.

Nipples, man, it's all a choke.

That happen.

Greatest character in television history, one of them, and a set of nipples.

Said fuck you all right, be back a little bit. We have misconnections we have. We're gonna find the ware the Kevin's been lately, he's been he's been slumbering. He has he's been out doing something for sure. Of course we have miss connections, and then news are the weird. We finally, what hell's Kevin doing? Be back on instead of beer by Sports. You're the semi pro of sports radio. Beer Belly Sports.

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Welcome back to be Sports, where we continue to be the semi pro sports talk. My name's mc geffrey. To my immedia left is.

Bruce leg Oh. We have a bit of breaking news.

Do you want the button?

Go ahead? Yeah?

All right, hold on that one off that one?

All right, gentlemen, can I please have your attention. I've just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. It's not super breaking all of you stop what you're doing and listen.

Not super breaking, but we've got to cover in the first half. The w NBA kicks off tonight, the Liberty versus the Sun.

We didn't know. Ah, it's all right, thank god, thank god, we have more basketball. I was so worried.

That means the links are starting up soon. A championship squad, champions from around here.

I heard they're good. Not quite sure how good, but I heard they're good.

That's it, that's it. I just popped up on my phone and my little bit report. I was like, oh, yes, it can be funny.

All right. I thought it was a lot more than that.

But you're not podcasting WNBA.

Yeah. Later. I'm so happy that I'm evolved in it so much right now you are, Yeah.

Well you should be with all your lady haircare products, you know, maybe some of the stuff that you like, they promote.

You know, what I do, what I can do, what I can, oh.

Do have an awkward encounter with the supermarkets and don't know where else to turn searching for love on the internet. It's time for missed connections with Matt Jeffrey.

All right, So if you know what miss connections is I try to find miss connections all around this land. And some of them are good, some of them are bad, some of them are just okay. Sounds like my love life in general. It sounds like my baseball career. That's why he's not that good for a lot of different things. Anyways, Oh too much a rimshot. That not work the way I wanted to do.

Is that what she said? Yeah, that's what she said.

Can you hear me? Because I can't hear myself, I can hear you. Okay, now just turned that down? All right? Here we go, new ones, this one. This one is in Eugene. I assume Oregon.

I'm assuming who knows?

Who knows? Uh? Misconnection and Starlight Lounge Me small dude with a wooden stick for a cane and a book as a and a book as big as my face. You nice dude with the confidence to get on stage. Just turned the just turned the Douglas Adams number.

I don't know.

Fuck that means? Uh? You you were suggesting an author to me, but my friend who wanted to dip out while you were in the bathroom. That fucking sucks. Wabashaw who is the author? Also? You were fun to talk to.

When you said when you started saying what, I was like, where the hell is this going?

Would? So that's it for that one.

So was that guy to GIRLERU.

I did not mention which one.

The wooden stick.

That could be a lot of different with a book as big as his head, that's what it says, lucky, lucky. Next one, this is bully City misconnection. Me average looking bought chipper guy in a red Corvette all my way to pick up some transmission fluid at the car dealership on fifteen five oh one. You middle aged lady in a gray blue recent model Hondai hatchback, driving ten to fifteen miles p hour slower wileys, suggesting with your hand

That's a that's a real weird one.

That's interesting.

Yeah, that's interesting.

He's got a corvette from from Yeah, a little red corvette like like Prince.

Is that the the chicken National Lampoons.

Did you like she had a red Corvette? Yeah, and he's trying to be all cool about it.

And then he ends up underneath the semi.

No, that was you make you're making two movies together, but same person though Litter doesn't.

He has to swerve though, because he's like paying attention to her.

Yeah, but am I I don't think I'm wrong? No, because they were two semis together and he was like talking about something and then gently just went to underneath the semi in a Christmas van Christmas vacation.

So when was he talking to the girl in the red corp?

That was either Vegas vacation or it was a vacation or National lampoon one of the first ones.

If vacation was the first one, and that it was like Christmas vacation, and then there was Veguus vacation.

Yeah.

Oh yeah for the European one too, don't forget about that one.

Yeah.

Anyways, next one, CTC misconnection. If anyone at CTC, sorry, start over Take two. If anyone at CTC has an idea which co worker this would be? Please DM me. White male, mid thirties or forties, bald, with dark facial hair, drives a black grand Cherokee l probably an altitude package, gets into work around seven to twenty am. That's fucking weird.

Did you stay in the same office? Yeah, yes, good god man, go down the floor, make your way across the roind Yeah. You know what he looks like, obviously stuck his ass, find out or just getting his way. You'll middle finger you for thirty seconds.

Middle finger.

Oh, I suppose that's what she's hoping for.

It's probably like it could be a finger somewhere else. Yeah, could be a finger in your room, little finger? All right? Next one magic con vegas, Yeah, all right, We spoke in front of the Winter Bloom tent at the Area fifteen party. Your friend Brandon was with you. You wore a white cap and plant pattern shirt. You love love all capitalized by the way you love Slay the Spire convinced me to start playing it when I get at home. I enjoy talking with you, and I would love to

You gotta see now that one's like you you know the game, and you know those guys gonna be at the Magic Con next year. I've never heard of that game Slay the Spire. I want it? Is that like a Dungeons and Dragons type deal?

Or who knows it's gonna happen?

That's that was very I was hoping there's gonna be like I loved your wand.

You had thick wand wow, whoa my bad? All right? Next one? This is now we're into Minnesota. Finally, these are the ones I love the most and for the people are North Branch. Hope you can find these people for me. Do you do your job all right? Hive woman in Marshall, We I flirted while you were getting food. We playful greet at each other for a couple of days, but I haven't seen you since and miss set what what does Michael Scott saying you.

Gotta be in the playoffs to win a championship.

Sailed it?

You missed one hundred percent of the shots you don't.

Shoot, quoting Wayne Gretski and Michael Scott.

Think I think Michael Scott said it better.

I think so too. Guy on a Harley this is the South Bloomington, was over at the cub in Bloomington and saw you on your motorcycle. Thought you saw me too? You look you look good on your on your bike. If you did see that, if you did see me too, drop a line. Let's chat.

Don't all dudes like good on bikes?

You know?

It's that like the that's why they do them. They're like all studeley manly, not having.

All right for the women here for the ladies. Do you guys like men on bikes? Motorcycles not not bikes?

Scream?

D you eyes.

Scream not today?

Hey? You never know, No, there might be you know what, he's probably really health conscious, Maybe he doesn't have a d Maybe he's riding his bike to be in better shape and live longer. Okay, it's like the runners I see on my way to work in the morning. I'm like, oh, ambitious bastard. The ones on my way home from work like good for you? You know what morning once it's like six in the morning, Like you, bastard. I hate you so much. Motivated of a bitch, I can't force

Away motorcycles at at least three points. See so you, Jada says you need to get a motcycle.

Looks like that's not kid friendly.

You know that pads are almost out of the house.

Yeah, no, they're not. Jeckson's eleven.

Oh shit, maybe so you got six seven years lest I could?

I could rock a moped? Does moped add points? Is that negative?

All I think about is saving Silverman. It's on a fucking moped.

See badass, you got the girl kind of See he did need two of them. It's a two fer mopeds mopeds all right?

Mopeds is going on the list.

Oh that is something. When I was a younger person, I used to rock around good old motive.

Your wife says, Bruce is already a ten.

Thank you.

Oh what a fuck up? It stop still the goose beautiful? All right? This one's up at Gonvic. So this is up here for us.

Are they on a moped? Because I'd be sick.

We're gonna find out heresly, Gonvic, Sunday, April nineteen, four thirty pm. Up in Godwow, I saw you behind the counter when I stopped to buy a coffee on a long drive. Waited all my life to see you for one minute and jo in your ball black, in your black sweatshirt and jeans. It was a blessing.

She knows where to find him.

Yeah, no shit, it's a different job. It's in Gonvic. There's not many fucking places to go, true.

But he could get a different job, maybe somewhere else. Maybe he goes to the bar. It could be a bartender there.

I mean it could be.

Or you can go there and be like, hey, this dude a black sold me coffee, Like where's it? Yeah, they're like, oh, John, two blocks over.

That got there, Kelsey says. Matt owns a tricycle and picks up the girls that way. I would too, Would I pull it?

Yeah?

You would? I pull it off?

What's that thing? The kids ride the big wheels had a big wheel obviously.

Hold up, well we'll say, we'll say because I got I got one more, they will do one more. Matthew, all right. Last one. This is the coon rapids barista at Starbucks near the theater on Sunday. I think I know what this is Asian barista. Second time we chatted at the drive through. I owe you and your co worker is a big tip? Where can I say.

Ulterior meaning yes?

I want to say yes. I wanna say yes.

Or maybe you just didn't have money that day?

Okay, but no, a fucking big ass guy. Damn coffee?

Was it from a Starbucks?

Yes? The Starbucks dollars at least mine's eight from Cariboo?

Oh fuck, humble umble, So you're not You're not a Starbucks guy.

You're no, I'm a Caribou guy for sure. Why I don't like Starbucks? I support local? Well I shouldn't say that because as a go for a I can't.

Is Cariboo from Minnesota? Yes? You didn't know that you Why would I know that?

Idiot?

Anyways, was a first cab. So the first one was is there anyone outside of Minnesota?

I think in Wisconsin probably drunken Scott, drunken Scani's over.

There stealing our cariboo coffee.

Stealing our women is stealing a kabou coffee.

Isn't there like a drink cariboo loo or something like that that one of the rappers used to sing about. Right, I think I'm mistaken. I probably mistaken.

Okay.

The Book of Matthew We're Get Free tells stories from his past. Let's open up to the next chapter in the Book of Matthew. Suddenly it smells musty in here.

How many pages are on this book?

Uh?

Not quite sure. It's a lot, a lot of chapters.

Uh, you should start writing these down and then put out your own little book and see how many people on the Beer Belly Sports Network five like the brocode from How I Met Your Mother. Oh, but go on, continue about your big wheel then you picked up chicks with or whatever.

And some of the comments kel said, only and coon rapids because the Asian barista Justin said big pimping in the power wheels. Hell, yeah, big pimpin And that was that was that was motorized. I'd have I'd have motorized, yeah, Kelsey says, South Dakota North North Kota. South Dkota has Cariboo as well. Yes, Bruce, there is. There was a song, yes right, see, thank you all right. My my story for this week for the Book of Matthew is big wheels.

So and the way parents this one, you had two big wheels. Dad's not listening. I hope he is, Gene, I hope you're listening.

For the love, I hope he's listening to this one. If not, I already got trouble once for telling a story about my dad on actual radio. He was fucking pissed.

What did you say?

Can't say it?

Not nice? Drive? Damn it.

Let's see if I get a text suit or even worse a comment.

I know, God, that'd be great. So God, my son, what did he do?

Now?

What the big wheel?

Oh no, my mom was present for this one. So Mitch and I we had We had big wheels. And Mitch and I have fifteen months apart. So in peer if you know or can't pu, South Dakota is peer, not peer, of course. Idiots. In the park we had, Uh, it's a big long park. It's a big long driveway and the house we lived over by the park. So Mitch and I both got our big wheels in our diapers and took off down ago. Yes, nailed it. Uh

You you're like the bikers, man, basically like they roll next to each other.

I have no idea.

How do you have any idea? Like the bicycle symbols, like how to turn right? How to you with the hands?

And we're probably two to this day though right now?

Do you know?

Right? Left?

Right? Obviously right right?

Fucking idiots I look like you were doing.

Why, oh my god, So you guys are rolling and keeping traffic going. You guys have no idea? Both in diapers.

Who's older? I am by fifteen months.

And you're still the diapers? So older brother? Uh? Next pulled the rolling with your bottles?

Yeah? So I text my mom like, how old her are we when this happened? So we'll find out what she says.

But what's the rest of the story? Just did you held the traffic?

Held the traffic? Like? That's sorry, it's a random story.

Right, Did you guys have any clothes on her? Just diapers?

As far as I know, Mom said, we just had fucking diapers on.

A boy rolling out there, the shirts off, Yeah, catching some raids, big wheel in it, fuck big wheeling it. I imagine knowing you as well, you were probably trying to pop like a wheelie in that sucker.

I probably who knows, big old stain coming out the backside.

Of that diaper. It's a fucking story or it's up your back?

Oh, oh my god, what a story? Mark?

So did what eventually you pulled off? Or you just kept rolling and cars started passing you? Is there any end of this particular story? Or just you held up traffic?

We just held the traffic? Really know big my mom was, I don't know she was.

I imagine the people in the cars were like, what the hell are these kids? And then there's somebody that's like one car or maybe two cars, maybe the car right behind you going the.

Damn Jeffreys parking at it again.

They're gonna destroy that poor man.

Juice box in hands. Oh yeah, jas and juice box in hands. Tody says, Uh, when you talk to my sister, ask her about about how I was the best little brother. Ask her about the flag pole and the other candlestick lights. Intriguing. Uh, that's from Cody to his sister Kelsey.

Oh okay, intriguing, intriguing.

I will ask her they have a big wheel, must have who.

Knows with a can with a candlestick too? That's god. I hope you guys had like some of those fake tattoos onto you.

Yeah, speaking of that, dude, they have Now I saw.

How you had like a farmer's tand going on with that, with that all in butter, how does that work?

Don't worry about it. I saw on the old Tickety Talk Shop that you can get sleeves. Is how you do it? Like like tattoos, and your kids have like watered ones. Yeah, like you just press on and just give you like sleeves.

Getting get one? I think, I mean outside of the tramp staff one you already own, that, says open.

Kelsey says, no, I hate him, oh allegedly. Yeah, all right, should we get into your do you want to do? Yeah, let's do it. Yeah.

It's Kevin first, Kevin first, Kevin black hair, and he's where oh where over there?

All right?

Well, Kevin is woke up and he's hungry, son of a bitch. Kevin attempted a bakery breaking and caught in a camera and Tennessee. A security camera outside a Tennessee bakery captured video of an attempted breaking by a hungry bear in search of some cinnamon rolls. Hell yeah, Kevin just out. He didn't get to you didn't actually get the break in though, so he was thwarted by their security systems.

Uh. Cody says, they're about to take some shots. Cheers, boys, I'll get hell yeah, hell yeah, no, no, no, And where else has Kevin Ben? That Ben?

Kevin got caught napping in a window? Well, probably after on his way to now he's in Colorado. That a bit, but you know, after the break in fell a party he had to try to go to Colorado get stoned.

Uh, let me clarify for people do not know who Kevin the Bear is. Uh, every story that we find on the old Internet about a bear, it's always going to be Kevin. Yes, so Kevin could be. He's a chain smoke in some bit Virginia Slims is what we found out. He has a really deep and uh yeah it's uh, it's it's intriguing. But he had him on the show a few times. Yeah, he's been in pregating people left and right. Yes, not people, sorry, bears.

Yeah, thank god, he's not into beast reality. Who knows respect the name.

He's also been a school, yes, uh, studying.

He's been to college.

Good teas, good teas, all right, go ahead.

Colorado Parks and Wildlife officers were called to a Falcon home where a black bear settled down for a nap in the basement window well. On social media, the officers were called to the home to report a bear in the window well. They arrived to find the male bear or male brewin fastly asleep. I am good one. Finally Kevin, he's off his way, you know, and he made it from Tennessee to Colorado. Well, he got tranquilized in Los Angeles.

Son of a bitch.

Tranquilized Kevin passes out atop a brick wall in Los Angeles. Got tired, Fuck Kevin, that prompted the bear to be closed, an elementary school to be put on lockdown, was tranquilized and wound up asleep up a brick wall. Look at this photo. Fuck yeah, he's so big. I don't even know how he stays on that wall.

Walls like.

The bare cause authorities is shut down. handsOn Damn Park in Lakeview, Terrence area of Los Angeles on Sunday after being spotted and at least three different trees once are jumper. God damn Kevin. Coast to coast Kevin trying to get cinnamon rolls, taking naps, and then finally getting tranquilized. You really can't tell where that guy's gonna go. I imagine Virginia.

Phenomena.

Do you like word jumbles?

Map word jumbles?

Yes. Scientists explain why humans are so good at reading scrambled letters what you were talking about earlier, like the misspelling of words.

That pretty good, and how people.

Know what you're saying. It's like people in the text message group that we're in.

Yeah, Bryce, Yeah no, that's.

Just you spell like my name wrong. You've probably seen it a paragraph that looks totally mangled, yet somehow you're able to read it correctly. Can you read this? And they put the word scrambled in this, those scrambled letters that shouldn't make sense, but your brain doesn't notice. The oddly satisfying phenomenon is called typoglycemia, a viral sensation online where jumbled letters are still coherent and according to science, they're a real reason humans can process them.

That is Dustin reading our text message.

By the way, oh yeah, that's yeah. Like when Scott first got in the text message Chane like he was like, what did Bruce say? And then Dustin just texted out like properly and he goes, I can I fully under, I can read.

Bruce, and he does me.

I don't give According to research at Cambridge University, it does matter what order the letters, It doesn't matter what to say. How they're doing this to me now what order the letters are in? It only impromptu? That is that the first and the last letter.

So that's it.

All your brain really needs is the first and last letters and see some of the other letters and it'll put it together for you.

Thank you brain, Yeah, thank you brain.

Now this one, man, I got to ask you a question. How much do you think your hair could lift my hair? Your hair?

I do pretty thick hair. I do take pretty good care of it. Yeah, bbby, bbby, Okay.

A Mexican performer lifts one hundred and sixty six point with her hair.

What the fuck?

A Mexican circus performer showed off the strength of her scalp by lifting one hundred and sixty six weight with her hair. Diana Elizabeth Patrice of Hermoso, who has been performing the circus feats for twenty six years, took on the Guinness World Record for the heaviest weightlift. I wonder what the one was before that? One hundred and sixty six pounds. I bet it takes three pounds.

People about my ket board.

Dude, people are wild wow, think about that. I bet I can lift that.

With my hair. I bet you could. Jada says, I think it says, the first and last letter of the of the word needs to be right. Yeah, that's the rest doesn't matter. Yeah, my bad, thank you, thank.

You, it says in there, like the other letters kind of matter. But the first and last letter Matt, Yes again. Do you think you could pull a police car with your penis? Never tried it, but man uses his penis to pull police car down the street to raise awareness for prostate trae j I don't understand how that goes with that? Jesus, a wacky strong man believes that he has become the first person in the world to pull a car with his penis. Oh, hold on, there's more

Nice?

That gets you in jail in America using his manhood after being set a blaze? Does he need to be on fire too? Well, that's like that blaze of glory? Was fire needed?

Ask them? Oh? That's so all right?

Here we go a surprising sunscreen booster, maybe hiding at your favorite bar. Something exciting and brewing brewing in the skincare world. A new study suggests that a byproduct of beer production could make sunscreen more effect That's why I never get burnt. I'm always drunk when I'm outside.

Checks out. JADEB wants to know. I wonder how we figure out to do that? I figured with the Yeah, right now, that's a lot of practice.

What did you pull first? You know, there's got to be like a always like how did he start with? It's like with his own car, with his big wheel with a child and a diaper on it. That would be really and when and then when was he like I need to be on fire.

You know what? Just like AI propate stuff. Man.

Yeah, but yeah, the byproduct of beer production could make sunscreen more effective at blocking harmful ultraviolet B rays, which are responsible for sunburns.

Wow.

The fighting could be significant, as studies have shown that many products on store shelves don't deliver the level of protection they claim. So have a couple of beers with your sunscreen and guess what sun You're blocked out?

Fuck them?

Who the sun? Oh?

It not them? How many sons do you think we have in our.

Just one? It's it'd be like it not them. How many suns I have one? Yeah, thank you, but that is it for the news. We were and we were helpful today with trying to keep you from sunburns. Yeah, what you can do with your penis will side of blaze and baby baby puts your brain is better than you think it is.

I like a little recap she did more often.

Yeah. And Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, he's all over the place, especially now that the higher nation period's over.

I'm gonna get wait and see Kevin here at the house.

He's probably coming back.

He's already ripped up my fucking bird feeder a couple of years ago.

Shouldn't have put it there. Should have been fucking standing there.

Yeah, Kennedy says that to you. She's like, should have been standing there, shouldn't have been that's my that's my ten year old.

Well obviously learned it somewhere. I don't think she read that in a book. And Dylan, that's good. I don't think they have the wedding singer.

That's what that's from, right, No, it's a happy Gilmore.

Oh, that's right. Yeah, when he got hit with the golf. Adam Sandler so.

The same whatever, SHELI knows the me ass Sonny from Big Daddy.

Oh yeah, it's a good one. Do you wipe your own ass? I wipe my own as so sad, God, that's such a sad uh.

Justin said, I try, I try to write. I tried writing more with a dick.

I bet I bet you did.

But those those are kind of the wheels over the steerwhell doesn't really turn to well not not a lot of play in that steering.

Wheel depends on your uh, your girth or with do.

You think wraps it around it? Maybe?

Probably can't Zamboni. With something like that goes everywhere, goes every We can't just pull it down and just wipe itself. Sick o.

What I'm just talking about?

Yes you do?

No, I don't, Yes you do.

I learned that term before the show. But you know exactly what no, no, no, no, that is the news of the wheel.

Time to eat some peanut butter or something.

Yeah, you sound like a dog with peanut butter roof of your mouth.

Anyways, Well there's that, there's that. Oh hey, did we did did the do you get the voting up for the last?

Oh?

Fuck god, you're terrible.

I'm sorry.

He's not gonna good. He's not that good, So we have to wait again. I was looking for it. I didn't see the chance to be able to vote. I mean, we both know it's going to be the ninety eight. It's to the finals, rights, we both know it's going to be the ninety eight vikings. Is that why you're just waiting on it? No?

I don't spend fucking forget?

No, sure, sure, sure?

I'm sorry? Are you though? Yeah?

I am. I feel like that without repercussion, you should get you should have to do a shot for that.

No, I'm hunger. I don't I want to eat hung shots. I didn't eat yet.

You just ate when you pick me, doll?

That was it?

Ill you are?

I haven't eaten today, like trying to get those suck my millions and millions of people. Yeah, feeling bad for you, venmo is.

At me?

What did you learn today?

What I learned today is that Kevin fall asleeps on the wall in the wall actually got tranquilized. Oh that happens, that's it. You've been drankilized. No, I've been taste.

Have you been tasted?

Yes? I have a couple of times on purpose?

Yeah, like by the cops.

Not by the cops.

Oh that ha been a way cooler story. I suppose you had you for the fire. No, you just got taste to get taste. God, you're a sick freak. What is women's hair products and just getting taste to get made? And you're interesting, my friend.

I'm sorry it wasn't this book. Man from the line.

So another chapter of book of Matthew is. Uh. We were seniors in high school. We were out in Rapid City and there was a basketball tournament. It was a state basketball turn and one of my friends stole a taser from a mall. So it's not a fucking like a please taser, but still a taser none less.

Uh.

We were in this hotel room. It was probably ten of us, ten boys, and we were tasering each other, like actually like to each other. One of my friends he.

I've watched.

His name is Mac. He got tased right like he fell and they tasered him. He said, he got my balls. We got him like in the inner thigh. Calm funcked out. YEA, why are you trying to taste them because we're fucking bored.

Would you want to get tasted?

I did not hear about That's what I'm saying. I got tased in the side the hip and you didn't drop though. No, after a while, it's more of the sound that gets to.

That very It was fun. It was fun.

It was fun a good time.

It was fun.

It was fun getting Jada says that was an app that was an appetizer for the McDonald's.

Oh sorry, go get your ship straight it is. I told you earlier it was straight.

It was.

It was a straight line.

Prove it.

I hit it in the hoop.

That's a good one. That was a great TikTok. You said me, Uh, how he spends his saturdays is his business. Yeah, I was putting my seat with my business. Fuck off, Dale, God, you can't get my name right. I got shocked by a cattle proud It sucked ass, that's what Justin said.

Oh my god, I could imagine that's supposed to take down a large animal that you're a little taser. Anyways, and where do they steal it from in the mall?

I don't know. I didn't ask those questions. I don't know. I know, it's like it's from a store. Okay, So all of a sudden we had a fucking taste.

Like you said you didn't know, but then you're like, oh no, it's from a store, Like how do you know that?

I didn't know that he did it? Like all of a sudden he had got rob some.

Young kids, like a dumb and dumber. I didn't even see it coming common.

All right, what did you learn today, sir?

I learned that you're a badass rolling down in your big wheel and you're diaper.

Thank you.

Yeah, we don't know the age, but we know that you're fifteen months older than your brother.

I'm pretty sure.

I up.

Okay, that's up.

All right. Tay Show's being brought to you by.

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Awesome being brought to you. Bye Jad outpost Rodeo Rodeo in Salway June nineteenth and twentieth. Bruce and I are gonna be there for sure. Don't know what the rest of the guys h June nineteenth. We're gonna do a live from there and it's gonna be a fucking blast and I can't wait. You guys join us. It's in Solway, support some great action, great local writers.

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Yeah, and that is it for us, all right, A baseball season right around the corner. First game is gonna be May twentieth on a Wednesday. Hope you can join us on the Berberlly Sports Radio Network. I will be there for sure, Bruce, we'll find out wednesday.

Probably all right, Well.

That's gonna do it. Frustrated to the writers, producers on site oft Gen Arizon with all of us, and the words are red green, keep you sick on the ace, goodbye.

That's what you call a wire actor on this show.

Everything's a wire actor.

No.

Sure, you keep asking why are they doing that? Oh?

Thanks for listening to beer Belly Sports. This has been a Jeffrey Productions show, so now you just know it's gotta be quality