Sex: Back to Basics

Josh  0:03  
If I were Screwtape, I had one shot at bringing humanity down in the area of sexuality, what would I do? Screwtape Of course, for those of you don't know, is a fictional demon, depicted in CS Lewis's great book, The Screwtape Letters. Screwtape is a senior demon who is teaching his nephew Wormwood the ways of a great demon. And the book is an account of the fictional account of screw tapes, series of letters to his nephew, trying to destroy his nephew subject, a human being who he's trying to take down. And so I'm thinking in the area of sexuality, if I was Screwtape, or maybe more pointedly, if I was a demon, trying to take down human sexuality, what's the shot I take? Now, before I answer that question for you, I want you to think for a moment about ecosystems. Now, I'm, I'm not a great biologist. So I don't know a ton about ecosystems, but I know enough to know they are incredibly complex. And they are incredibly interconnected. So you mess with one part of an ecosystem, just one part. And the ripple effects down the line can be huge, just devastating. I think the same thing can be true in the area of human sexuality, you mess with just one small part. And the implications down the line can be likewise devastating. So that's what I mean by if, if you were a demon, or if I was a demon, and I had one shot, to mess with human sexuality, what's the shot that you take? So what about you? What's the one place that you would attack? Here, here's what I think the one place I would attack would be humanity's kind of collective consciousness around the link between sex and procreation, sex and pregnancy, I would do all I could, if I just had one shot, I would do all I could to disconnect people's collective consciousness, to the reality that sex and pregnancy go together. So let me pause there for a minute and just state the obvious. It is God's design, that sex and pregnancy go together. Now, we live in a fallen world. And we are not in a perfect paradise anymore. And so we know that sex and pregnancy don't always go together. We know that there are things like infertility, we know that other other factors play into the mix for us, but by God's design, pregnancy, the creation of new babies is actually connected always has been. And it's always meant to connect with sex. That the the traditional understanding is marriage than sex than baby's marriage than sex than babies. This is God's design. This is God's heart. And it actually does us well to remember it because we live in a culture that doesn't follow that anymore. That doesn't make those connections anymore. But I think we have to ask, if God designed it this way, if God's heart is marriage, sex babies, why? Why did you design it that way? He didn't have to. He did not have to. There didn't have to be a link between marriage and sex. There didn't have to be a link between sex and babies. Why did God design it that way? He could, he could have made it so that if you want a new baby, to create a new baby, you just you plant a little seed in the ground and you wait nine months, and then up pops a baby. He could have had it so that people have a conversation and a baby comes about could help people you know, connect their their pinkies he could have had people snap their fingers and the baby comes about. It wasn't like he was trying to figure out how to I got to okay, like I figure out how to make new people. Okay, so I guess I guess I could just put it with sex. I guess that's really the only way to do it. He wasn't limited like that he could he could have made it any way you wanted. And he chose to connect sex and pregnancy, marriage, sex and pregnancy. Okay, Nuff said there. So let's then now talk about kind of the ecosystem of human sexuality. What happens if you disconnect those what happens if our human or kind of collective consciousness no longer connects sex and pregnancy? Well, first, then people begin to not anticipate pregnancy with sex they, there's no longer an expectation that sex is going to bring about pregnancy. I was reading about some, I think was a reality show contestant who said something recently like why I couldn't be pregnant with so and so's baby because we only had sex once. Which is just evidence of this kind of concept that there is there has been this disconnect now. Sex or pregnancy after sex is a surprise. So we start with surprise, right which is Maybe even can even have a positive connotation to it like, you know, surprise birthday party. But then then it begins to move into unplanned so not just surprise but unplanned, which is maybe more neutral. And then eventually we move from unplanned to unwanted. So now we have unwanted pregnancies. And so because we have disconnected sex from pregnancy, when we get pregnant, it's unwanted. Now, this might sound innocuous to you to some degree, because we've lived with this for so long. But just notice here the difference between God's designed for pregnancy and our current cultural concept or heart, about pregnancy. Now Pregnancy is a risk, even a threat, even a danger, right? I mean, we view it that way, this is a risky thing. As opposed to this is just a natural thing. And that word unwanted is a powerful word. I mean, what happens to a cultural psyche, when we think of children as unwanted, or even some children as unwanted, what happens to to a cultural psyche about what it means to be to exist to have been created when when we have a sense that some of us are unwanted. Just muse on that for a little bit. But I would suggest to you that that actually is the fruit of a demonic move against humanity, that we would believe that anybody is unwanted. I bet that is just has demonic all over it. On an anecdotal level, I can tell you, I've walked with at least one person in my years in ministry, who was actually aware that their, their parents did not want them. Not just that they were unexpected pregnancy, but they were unwanted. And they went through and had the child anyway, praise God. But the wait for that specific person of knowing that he had not been wanted was very painful for him. His parents told him not because they wanted to hurt him, but just it was kind of a matter of fact thing again, because of the cultural consciousness. But for him, it was very personal, it was very personal. So that's one branch, right? One branch of the ecosystem, it's impacted the other branches as people lose kind of their cultural consciousness to the reality that, that marriage and sex and pregnancy all go together, that sex and pregnancy go together specifically, then we also begin to lose our collective consciousness of the male female difference. You follow? If, if pregnancy does not come about, as a result of sex, if we don't kind of connect those things, then then the male female difference begins to lose its its clarity in our culture as well, in our collective consciousness,

let's back up you might think about it this way. Every part of a person's biology works within that person itself. It's it's self contained it it's interconnected within the individual person. But But it all works on an individual person is kind of this miraculous, like self contained thing, right? So let's just take for example, the human eye, and it's interconnectedness with the human brain and the central nervous system in the human being. And so, a person's eye takes in light and recognizes that something's flying fast at that person. The brain helps to make all those computations, the central nervous system is alerted, and the person without even thinking about it, ducks out of the way of the thing that's flying towards the person's head. It's all interconnected, self contained. But there's one part of a person's biology that is not self contained, it does not work within the person itself. The heart does the lungs do the bladder does the brain does all those things. Except the sexual genitalia of man and woman they do not work alone. Matter of fact, the sexual genitalia does not make sense in a man without a woman, a woman. A woman's genitalia does not make sense apart from a man, I'm borrowing this from Christopher West, he speaks beautifully about this. You need a woman's biology to fully understand a male's biology when it comes to genitalia when it comes to the sexual difference between man and woman. Are you tracking with me make sense here. So if we if we cut away we kind of sever the line in our cultural consciousness about the connection between sex and pregnancy, then these lines also get blurred because now we're we're the sexual difference does not make as much difference or it doesn't seem to for us, because we're not thinking about pregnancy. And so a man's body ceases to make as much sense or maybe said differently or said as crisper West says it a man's body. His sexual organs have less meaning now and a woman's sexual organs have less meaning. Now, because we've we've kind of cut pregnancy out of the picture. And if the if the male female difference had becomes blurry for us, then what happens to what sex is about now, it's not a big jump to go from there to sex is just about pleasure, maybe about union and pleasure, maybe about kind of a connection and pleasure. But even that connection begins to get fuzzy. Because because the connection is no longer has the same depth of meaning. The man and woman's sexual connection no longer produces the meaning of a child no longer brings about new life. And so now, there's this, this, they're connecting, but the organs don't have the meaning in the same way. And so what if we were to find some other place that could connect quote, unquote, connect with the genitalia of a man or another place that would connect quote, unquote, with the female genitalia, we get closer and closer to just being about pleasure. And the even the definition of what, what the connection is about is just about pleasure. And so if we move from there, it's just a step to Well, it's a shared pleasure, that's the connection. And we and it's not a big leap to go from shared pleasure just to individual pleasure, whether persons by themselves or with another person, now we don't need relationship anymore, we can actually just use each other for pleasure. So it's not really a shared pleasure anymore. It's an individual pleasure with another person or by oneself. And of course, we're talking about any body will do. Because it could be a male, it could be a female, it could be more than one person, it could be nobody. So So now, because our our bodies have lost their meaning it doesn't make any difference, what we're who we're engaging sexually with, because it's just about pleasure. And if we keep following that ecosystem, the impact on the ecosystem of our human sexuality and human kind of collective consciousness. Now, it doesn't matter if there's any commitment in the relationship now, doesn't matter if we actually know each other anymore. And if that doesn't matter, then marriages can be dissolved just like that, why not divorce, why not move on to somebody else, people become commodities, just like pornography, we just kind of swipe right from relationship to relationship, or we don't into relationship, we just move to pornography, we move to the fantasies in our own brain, because the other person doesn't matter as much anymore. And I'd suggest to you this is exactly the kind of cultural ecosystem that we've that we are living in. People have have come to mean less and less. And so now we try to because people mean less and less, and people are getting hurt by this. We tried to introduce some kind of legislation on top of it, or, or kind of new social norms like, well, let's make sure that we have consent, because there's we because we've removed care, and commitment and covenant, let's just make sure that we have consent, you know, do I do you give me permission to do this to your body, because I think it will feel good. This is such a different perspective about sex than God's heart, God's design. And I can also tell you just personally, that I know, personally and professionally, how this kind of collective consciousness leads to addiction, it leads to compulsive sexual behavior. Because there's no longer that that cultural consciousness that that sex and pregnancy are related. Not only have we lost the meaning and beauty of that connection, but we've also created a culture that is just looking to sex to bring pleasure upon pleasure upon pleasure. Some more fallout from this, as we've kind of looked at the ecosystem fallout. Just some, you know, let me just make some comments about what we see in our culture. Did any of you notice as Roe v. Wade was overturned that in all the conversations about what this could mean for women, and what this could mean for for families? And I won't get into that in this in this podcast. But in all that was discussed, did you notice that, that the assumption was that people will have sex, that they can't refrain? That that is not an option? Of course, there's so much more involved in that decision and so much more that we're kind of working through culturally and that Christians need to press into, but just I just noticed in the conversations, no one brought that up as a as a possible move, you know, that this could actually be a helpful thing for us. Secondly, sexual orientation. We have conversations around sexual orientation. The conversations are all about feelings. What brings you pleasure, what are you attracted to? What are you drawn to? What kind of body are you drawn to? No one is having the conversation. that sexual orientation is also something that is written into our bodies, that our bodies themselves physically have a sexual orientation. This is what I was speaking to before. A man's body his sexual biology is oriented towards woman otherwise it doesn't make sense. A woman his sexual biology is oriented towards man. Otherwise, it doesn't make sense it loses its meaning. So we see it in the way that we talk about sexual orientation. Thirdly, marriage becomes all about personal happiness, personal pleasure, personal satisfaction. It's no longer about raising a family and the responsibility and the self sacrifice that belongs with raising a family. And I'm not saying that people don't raise families. But I'm saying our collective cultural consciousness doesn't talk about marriage. That way we think about it as I found the one who makes me happy. And when they cease to make me happy, I'll move on to another one hopefully will make me happier, I'll be single again. And similarly, within marriage, there's not necessarily the assumption that we're that we have children. Again, we live in a fallen world. So I know that there are couples who wrestle with things like infertility. But, but that doesn't explain how we live in a culture that thinks adults have a right to children. But children don't have a de facto God given right to a mother and a father. Even children become just a source of happiness for the adults. Marriage is about my personal happiness, children's about my personal happiness. And a family is about my personal happiness. It's not about me, sacrificing for another, giving myself to another. And I'd suggest all of this is kind of follows flows from the tributary of the ecosystem that has lost the connection between sex and pregnancy. And we live in that kind of culture. Well, if as I've kind of, you know, posited in this podcast, if this is really has been a move of the enemy, to bring about the kind of devastation he has, he's brought about in sexuality in our culture. How did he do it? How did he do it? And I'd like to suggest to you, I think the genesis of it in our culture, in our cultural context, was the legalization of contraception, the legalization and the widespread acceptance of contraception. That has radically shifted over time, we didn't realize it at first, it seemed like a small adjustment to the ecosystem wouldn't make a big difference. But over time, it has had a ripple effect that has impacted so much the ecosystem ecosystem of human sexuality relationships.

And if you don't, if you don't believe me, then you might consider listening to the voices of good men and women, men and women of good character prior to the legalization and the widespread acceptance of contraception. Did you know that it used to be that every major Christian denomination was unified in its opposition to contraception, on the grounds that they understood that sex and pregnancy were meant to go together. And they believe that if you were to if you were to create a schism between sex and pregnancy, that all sorts of sexual immorality would follow. Their view, then was that you could not disrupt the natural God given good of the link between sex and pregnancy without doing damage down the line. And beginning in the year that that contraception was legalized the United States, the Episcopal Church was the first church to say okay, well, we'll make a concession here. And other denominations followed all except I believe the Roman Catholic Church, I'm not sure if there are other denominations that didn't. The Roman Catholic church stood firm on this. And I think they were right to do so. Some deem them as old fashioned and putting their heads in the sand and, and science negative. But I think they understood that every ecosystem, including humanity, can be deeply impacted by by what on the surface may seem like a small adjustment, the small concession and where today, we struggled to make that connection, we struggle to, to recognize that anything significant has happened in the way that we see the world could it be that that something more significant to all of us has happened? But we don't recognize it? Because we are so far down the line, we don't remember the way things used to be. Could it be that we're like the Pharisees who came to Jesus around the topic of divorce and said, Hey, Moses allowed us to divorce? What do you say? And he's like, Well, look, Moses allowed that because of the hardness of your heart. But in the beginning, it was not. So could it be that God's response to us is, you don't see these connections. But in the beginning, it wasn't this way. People did connect these things. And so where does where does that leave us? I'm not trying to be a doom and gloom guy. I'm not trying to point a finger at anybody. What I am saying, though is is I want to challenge you as I'm challenging myself. We need to pray that God will reconnect for us, not in our heads, but in our hearts in our bodies. How important that connection is between between sex and pregnancy between marriage sex and pregnancy. Once Should we have this part of our lives recovered adequately? I believe it will change the way that we see people. I believe that it'll change our sense of dignity and worth, that is embedded in each individual person. I believe it'll change our perspective on pornography, it'll change our perspective on divorce. It'll change our perspective on sex outside of marriage, it will change our perspective on homosexuality. It'll change our perspective on transgenderism. It will change our perspective on family, and the value and importance of family. It'll change our perspective on marriage and what it means to marry another, it will increase the gravity with which we see these things. It'll change our perspective on the dignity of man and the dignity of woman. I mean, for goodness sake, like we are so disconnected from the procreative meaning of our bodies, that that we typically think of sexual organs as purely about sexual arousal. They elicit a sexual desire in someone else, as opposed to they actually have deep profound meaning. That means something into eternity. So let me just close with this thought, again, I'm not sure. Let me clarify, too. This is not a panacea. I'm not suggesting you know, hey, like, everything would be restored to normal. You know, before contraception, there was sexual brokenness and sexual sin. There, there there is still today, I'm just suggesting that there's a linkage here that's been broken. That's very, very important. If we want to regain God's heart, and God's vision for human sexuality, he relationships, marriage, children. So let me end with this. When my wife and I got pregnant, I think was probably the for the first time I was speaking to a priest friend of mine, and he smiled, and he said, Josh, do you realize what's just happened? I was like, We got pregnant. He's like, No, Josh, it's more meaningful than that. Said, you have just been a part of bring a new, eternal soul into the universe. You've just been a part of bringing a new eternal soul into the universe. He was connected to a deeper meaning of what was going on than even I was. And could it be that God wants to take us deeper friends? I think he does. So if you wrestle in any way, with sexual desire, sexual behavior, your view of yourself as a man or woman, I want to encourage you to press into what I'm describing here a little bit more deeply. You might even pick up some some Roman Catholic literature about this, not just the moral part of it, but the vision behind it. Christopher West is a great person to read around these things. Because there's such meaning and such glory, to your manhood and your womanhood. Jesus, if I'm just spouting off stuff that doesn't matter, then let it be like chaff in the wind. That just blows away. But if there's something important here that you want to communicate to those listening today, Lord, I pray that you give them ears to hear in a heart to understand and Lord, I pray for all of us, all of us. That we would live with a deep, deep abiding sense in our brains, our hearts and our bodies. That's that marriage and sex and pregnancy go together, and that it's very good. I asked this Lord in Jesus name, Amen.