Remember: God's Blueprint to Wholeness

I'm James , director of projects as well as spiritual coach and a group leader here at Regen . You know an object can only be sought and saved if the creator or owner of that object remembers what that object originally was . Sadly , my wife and I moved recently and we lost my original wedding ring .

I often am wearing one of these silicone rings , so I can not scuff up the metal ring , but I can only seek that ring because I know what it was . I can only save that ring because I had a vision . I can see in my mind's eye what it originally looked like .

So today , for episode four of this Remember series on becoming whole , we're going to talk about how Jesus remembers us . We've said that every single episode .

God remembers you , but specifically how he knows what we were made to be , what we were made to be , the person the glorified the original intent of what he made us to be and in between , you know what we are now , and that kind of glorified vision of who we really are , how he puts together every part of us . We've been doing this play on words .

Remember to remember to put members back together , to reintegrate . We often say it on this channel we want to have sexual integrity , we want to be integrated sexually , we want to become whole . We want the parts of us to come back into alignment to the whole , being led by the Spirit . So let me ask you all do you want to stop sinning sexually ?

Many of you who listen to this are here for that exact reason . Do you want to heal from betrayal ? How about do you want to help your kid through their own sexual struggles ? How about do you want to help your kid through their own sexual struggles ? The A to Z of healing is what Psalm 23 calls the restoring of our souls .

Psalm 23 , I believe it's verse three . It says you restore my soul . Now some of the newer translations use refresh and I think that there's a power to that image as well of God refreshing our souls .

But I like the old translation that Dallas Willard , who I'm going to be referencing a lot today , originally put me onto that God actually is in the business of restoring our souls . So I'm going to reference actually specifically one particular page from Willard's book , incredible book , life-changing book for me , called the Renovation of the Heart .

I recently came out with an anniversary edition but if you're watching on video here you'll see I've got one of the original heart covers . I believe I inherited this from my parents' library and this book was so life-changing , especially some of the pages on what love is and what it isn't , love and lust . He actually goes into that a little bit .

But on page 38 of Renovation of the Heart you're going to have to picture this along with me . I'm going to do my best to paint this picture but since I don't have express permission to use this image , you might have to look it up yourself . You could look up Dallas Willard um , renovation of the heart , human person image or something like that .

But imagine five concentric circle , so like like a target , like uh , something with a bullseye . So the center circle would be the bullseye and then that center circle is surrounded by another circle and that circle another , all the way out to five different circles , the core circle .

I'm going to just give you a quick flyover of each circle and then we're going to get into how God wants to restore all that we are . First circle , the inner circle , the bullseye , the heart , is the heart . He also calls it the spirit or the will .

He believes that and I see this in scripture as well that when the Bible is using the word heart , it's not primarily talking about emotions that's more of our modern English way of using the word heart . Instead , it's talking about the core of who we are , the center , the command center , if you will . That's why the word will is in there as well .

So the spirit , the heart , the will is at the core of who we are . Next layer out in this picture of the human person , this target is the mind . For Dallas , that included thoughts and feelings . I think that's a helpful way to think about the mind , thoughts and feelings . Following circle is the body .

And notice again , because these are concentric circles , the body kind of in some sense contains the mind and contains the spirit , not in a full sense . We know that even when our bodies die , we will still have our spirits and our minds , but the ultimate picture that God gives us of fully restored humanity is a new body as well .

So we have our body as the next circle , circle number three . Circle number four is the social circle . This is our relationships . This is us connecting from body to body , from person to person , and finally , the outer circle is the soul .

What's interesting here is , typically , when we hear the word soul , we grab on to a Greek understanding or perhaps a Platonic understanding of the soul as the non-material thing . So we've got bodies , we've got souls . The soul is like the part that goes to heaven when we die For Dallas and , I believe , for the scriptures , especially in the Hebrew scriptures .

We can see that the soul is kind of this integrating force in our whole life . It integrates the social , the body , the mind , the spirit , and that's why it's the outer circle . So the soul integrates the whole person .

It could also be used the word life could be used here , and actually the word that's often translated , soul , actually can be used , for it's used in scripture , I believe for animals . They don't have the same kind of soul we have because we have this mind and this spirit or heart or will .

That makes us different , but there's something about this overall idea of an integrating life . Okay , so let's get into it . Let's get into how God seeks to renovate us from the inside out , going back to the core , the spirit , the heart , the will . This is the part of us that died .

When Adam and Eve first ate from the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil , it says surely , on the day you eat from that tree . In scripture it says you will die . Now they lived according to scripture , you know hundreds more years , but they died that day spiritually .

There was a spiritual death at the core of who they were and ultimately , yeah , that rippled out and their bodies died and , and you know , their whole person eventually died . But the first core part of renovation of the heart is seeing our heart married , seeing our spirit brought to life by the holy spirit .

The holy spirit marries our spirit and brings us to a new life in christ and part of what he wants to do . In that initial moment of faith we have his spirit come into the core of who we are . But the problem is we're not purely spiritual beings , as I've already said today . We're what Christopher West jokingly calls angel moles .

Right , we're spiritual and physical , we're body and mind . We're these dual nature creatures . So the problem with having a revived spirit is that it's still on this earth before we . We are in the new heavens , a new earth . Having our spirits revived doesn't immediately change our entire soul . It changes our spirit .

And so now we've got this flame inside of us , we've got got the Holy Spirit inside of us , we become the temple of the Holy Spirit .

And so now our wills can be engaged toward the good , toward God , toward things of his design and his desires for us , that we could only ultimately desire or seek that which isn't of God , or we couldn't seek God in a super direct way . In other words , we couldn't agape love God before he came into our hearts and revived us .

But now we need this to work its way out . We need this to change our entire soul . So this is where the mind comes in next . Now , granted , the mind is actually where we first heard the gospel . It says , in this image that I'm referencing from Renovation of the Heart , that the word and the spirit of Christ , first the word of Christ , enters our minds .

We hear the gospel over time when that goes from the mind , just knowing the gospel , knowing that God loves us and that he came to save us and have us enter into fellowship with him . When that goes into spirit . That's when we're regenerated . But it does start with the mind . It comes into the mind first . You could even say it could start with the body .

It comes into your ears first . It starts with the social . It comes from another person , so you can see how these circles again build on each other . It comes from another person , so you can see how these circles again build on each other . But in the mind we have thoughts and feelings .

Thoughts can be restored or renovated primarily through engaging with what is true . Engaging with what is true , if you want to think of it , on a brain level , which I know I'm skipping ahead a little bit to the body circle when I talk about the brain . But on a brain level , this is often our left brain knowledge .

We can't make this everything , but we can't say this is unimportant either . Here's what I mean Learning that pornography is a sin , learning that you've experienced betrayal , learning even that your child is giving in to sexual compulsion or has sexual brokenness , and even learning ways to overcome .

That aren't enough on their own , but they are an important starting point . We really do benefit from the truth that sets us free . I've often said it in my own journey , when I first engaged in Awaken , one of our year-round group for men , awaken 360 , I came across so much that was true that I had never known so much theological truth .

And it wasn't that I was kind of being beaten over the head with it or whatever , but it was like it felt like I was experiencing it , like Jesus said , like the truth that sets us free . We need to know what is true .

We need to know that change in desires are possible , that over time you can go from desiring , for example , hookups or affairs or any number of things that are not what God wills for us , to , over time , being someone who desires God more than anything else . We need that kind of truth and so much else .

We need truth about body and soul and mind and we need truth to a significant degree and we need to feast on it . We need the word of truth , maybe even primarily both Jesus and the scriptures .

But we can't ignore our feelings and if you're a Western listener in the Western world maybe perhaps more than the Eastern world I'm not positive , but we focus so much on truth in our sermons , especially if you're an evangelical Christian or you go to a church that preaches through the Bible .

We can think that the main thing or the primary thing that's going to transform us are new thoughts , correct thoughts , true thoughts , and again , those are really important , but they're not all that there is in transformation . We need to consider our feelings .

When I think about feelings , when I talk , especially right now , we're in Awaken360 , we're in the heart module , which we're not really using the heart . The same way Dallas says , we're using it kind of as an emotional euphemism , like what you feel . We're getting into these painful feelings .

We're getting into things that we've ignored for years and for many men , part of why we've never engaged our feelings , part of why we haven't invited God to bring his renovating power into our feelings , is because we're so afraid of that feeling . Well , first of all , we're just straight up afraid of that feeling . I can just say that with a full stop .

We are afraid of feelings . We're afraid of pain , primarily negative feelings , things that bring pain . But what we're also afraid of is falling into the trap that seems like so many in the world do , which is let your feelings lead your life . Feelings should be the captain of your ship . Feelings should be the core of who you are .

You should do what you feel . If you don't do it , you're not authentic . On the other side , for those of us especially who have grown up in the church , in whatever context , we were often taught that feelings are dangerous . You cannot let feelings be in the driver's seat . I'll share more of this car image in a moment .

We can't let feelings be in the driver's seat . So what do we do with them ? We throw them in the trunk . The problem is , when feelings are thrown in the trunk , they don't just go away . When feelings are thrown in the trunk , they don't just go away the things we feel . I had an old supervisor I think he still works for InterVarsity .

His name's Greg Howe and he told me this feelings are valid data points . What we feel is actually trying to tell us something , something really important , and so if we throw the feeling in the trunk , we're missing out on incredibly important data . The reason you feel angry , the reason you feel shame , the reason you feel anxious . There's a reason .

Is what I'm trying to say . There are reasons that you feel these things , and so if we just throw them in the trunk , we're actually missing out on what they're trying to tell us . So here's how I often articulate it to the men in Awaken .

We're not meant to put the feeling in the driver's seat , the way we've seen be so problematic , but we're also not meant to put it in the trunk . Imagine this Imagine a nice car . You're in the driver's seat , your heart is , so to speak , your new will in Christ . God doesn't actually let anyone else drive your car , not even himself .

In a sense , he calls us to take responsibility for our own thoughts and feelings . So we're driving this car . Ultimately , the feeling . I often want to picture Jesus as our navigator . He's the one telling us where to go . He's sitting right in the passenger seat . I know that might sound demeaning , but no , it's a seat of honor .

He's the passenger prince , he's the passenger king . All right , he's guiding us , we're in conversation with him , we're in relationship with him . The feeling can be right in the middle back seat , sharing what it wants to share , but not allowing that feeling to then dictate everything we do .

So here's an example If I feel pain and my immediate thing is to lash out at my spouse who really hurt me , or if I feel pain and my immediate thing , the immediate thing I go to , is pornography , that would be an example of letting the feeling , kind of drive the car . Instead we can ask questions . We've used this image before .

We can meet our feeling on the porch to kind of switch the metaphor up a little bit .

But again , we can let the feeling , we can give voice to the feeling without going in the direction the feeling typically takes us , because the feeling , without being led on some level by the truth , by the will , can lead us in places that aren't actually good for us , as we well know .

So we need to develop a relationship with feelings and again , I love that idea of it's the feeling in the backseat , but it's Jesus there with us helping this process through them as well . So I'm often telling men I walk with get as honest and as real with God as you possibly can .

Get like the psalmist , get your feelings completely out there , because if they're already in there , god knows . You're not going to surprise him , offend him by externalizing them , but what you are going to do is you're going to get honest , and this is another example of how the truth sets us free .

When we get emotionally honest with God , we're inviting him into those actual places . Instead of saying God , talk to the mask , talk to the mask , talk to the mask . We're saying , god , this is where I'm really at . I'm talking to you directly , face to face .

Okay , so we need God's renovation in our thoughts , we need truth , we need God's renovation in our feelings . We need to direct our feelings , to experience our feelings , to process them with God and save others . But we also need God's renovation in the third circle , the body .

We talk increasingly in this field about how our brains have been wired to go after the unwanted sexual behavior in our lives , that we've learned to medicate pain through incredibly complex neurocircuitry , to go after dopamine in pornography or wherever else your sexual behavior may take you . So we do need time to rewire the brain .

This is part of what we have to contend with in the body . One really confusing point , hopefully , if you've been listening to Becoming Whole for any length of time , one confusing thing in scripture for many people can be the idea of the flesh , but here at Regen we talk about how the flesh is often better translated the sinful nature .

I noticed , though , dallas doesn't just do that translation . He often translates stuff on his own and he keeps the word the flesh . Why ?

Because there is still some measure of the sinful nature , the old nature , being stored in our brains Does not mean our brains are bad , does not mean God doesn't love our bodies , didn't choose to create us bodily , didn't come to redeem us in the body of Jesus .

But what it does mean is that all the old patterns we've developed , all the trauma , all the pain , all the wounds , all the habits of porn and overeating and alcohol or drugs or whatever addictions we may struggle with , have become habituated in our brains . So we do need God to rewire our brains . This looks like healing of trauma in various ways .

We don't have time to get too far into that today , but we talked some about that last week . It looks like engaging in healthier and holy alternatives . We talk about this a lot in Awaken , finding things that bring us incredible joy that God designed us to have joy with . And it also means doing basic bodily engagement , care , bodily refreshment .

We need sleep , guys . We are not unlimited spirits . We never will be . I don't know what it'll look like with our new bodies , but we're not angels . We actually are designed by God to have needs , created by God to need sleep . Created by God to need to eat . We're also created by God to move our bodies , to exercise in one form or another .

We need things like water , we need to breathe . All of these very basic things sleep , eating , exercise , water and breathing can be helpful things to look at . Not everyone thinks about these things .

We think , okay , I'm in this spiritual struggle , I'm struggling with sin , but we don't realize , man , by staying up until 1 am playing video games every night , and then I have to wake up at 7 , that might not actually be doing me any favors , because I have to honor these limits .

God , I need you to refresh and restore my entire soul , and part of that is restore how I even engage my body . Teach me how to care for the temple that you've given me and I think we've .

Often , as Christians , we might look at the culture and say , well , you know , you can go into over-exercising or not eating to a really dangerous extent or whatever , but those twistings don't negate the original good that God designed these things to bring us .

And I do also want to highlight things like breath , one of the best ways to get regulated in a quick moment , even in temptation . Notice your breathing . Take some deep breaths . God designed the breath . The breath was not invented by , you know , eastern religions or something like that . God designed us to breathe and to help our bodies regulate through breathing .

One of my favorite ways to do this is through breath prayers Simply breathing in and , as you breathe in , reminding yourself of a portion of scripture or a short prayer . For example , we're in Psalm 23 .

As you breathe in , the Lord is my shepherd In through the nose , pushing on the diaphragm , which is the part that separates your lungs from your stomach , so you feel your stomach push out Slowly in , the Lord is my shepherd , and then slowly out . I lack nothing . That's what my translation says . That's just Psalm 23.1 .

Meditating on scripture is getting scripture deeper in and it's honoring the fact that , again , our bodies are designed to need breath that God provides . So we need to engage healing of the body . Let's move into the social dimension . This is now the fourth circle out .

We are primarily transformed friends by God's design , through joyful , loving relationships with him and with others . Even though Adam was walking the garden in perfect relationship or whatever way you want to imagine the Garden of Eden looking like , in this incredible intimacy with God , god still said it was not good that Adam was alone . So God is wired into us .

I know a lot of our songs say you know , all I need is you , god . And there's a truth to that , because God supplies all we need and is , in a sense , all we need , because everything we need does stem from him , like the head of a river . I mean every air , like we just talked about water .

But if we only needed God in the shallower sense of the word , like hey , I don't need anything , I just need God , we would quickly die of dehydration , we would suffocate ourselves , we would die of starvation , we would be in mental ruin through isolation , because God designed us again to need things that he provides People so key .

We need loving , joyful relationships

when we're connected and when we can be weak , where another person is strong and we're connected . In that way , it transforms your brain more quickly than almost anything else . So the restoring of the social dimension could look like entering into relationships that God uses to heal past wounds , to build maturity where there's been lacking maturity .

One quote I want to share with you . This is from an author and therapist named Jenna Remersma . Sorry if I pronounced that wrong . She says trauma blocks love , but love heals trauma . Trauma blocks love , but love heals trauma . So part of what might be coming up for you when I begin talking about this social dimension is people have hurt me .

You can't imagine the pain I've been through . Trauma is blocking love . Trauma is blocking your ability to connect , maybe even with God . So many of us have our image of God really tarnished by the sins done to us by our parents or by authority figures . But it doesn't end there . The story doesn't end there with .

Trauma builds into more trauma and then we're destroyed . Love heals trauma , it says in scripture . We're destroyed . Love heals trauma , it says in scripture . Love covers a multitude of sins and so perhaps you didn't receive the care you needed growing up from one of your parents , perhaps you didn't receive affirmation , perhaps you were hurt or abused .

The way that God , primarily , is going to heal those things is through loving connection where we're synced up in joy with him and with others who bring those things . So this is a super important dimension , especially in our individual culture . It's something worth . It's a drum worth beating over and over and over again . We need loving , joyful relationships .

Okay , finally , the soul . Like I said at the beginning , the soul is the thing that integrates all the rest . It's the restoration of all that we are . You restore my soul . You're helping the social , to sync up with the spirit , to sync up with the body and the mind , and it's all working together in harmony .

It's all being orchestrated , you could say , by the Holy Spirit , who's now married to our revived spirit , and that is like the orchestra , the heart , the command center . It's the conductor of all the rest of who we are , and so our soul is being reintegrated . So I want to end today with just a short reflection on one of my favorite passages in scripture .

This is 1 John 3, . 1-3 from the NIV says see what great love the father has lavished on us , that we should be called children of God , and that is what we are . The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him . Dear friends , notice he's speaking to a group . We often individualize these things . He's speaking to a group , dear friends .

Now we are children of God , and what we will be has not yet been made known . But we know that when Christ appears , we shall be like him , for we shall see him as he is . All who have this hope in him purify themselves . So , friends , we believe that we are saved by our faith in a very important way .

But it says here in verse 3 , that we are purified , we're sanctified through hope , hoping in this , seeing Jesus , hoping in everything being made right when he comes back , and you might even say we're glorified in his love . We ultimately enter heaven , which primarily isn't about our personal bliss .

It's about the joy , love and bliss of entering into the triune life , the life of the Trinity itself . So when we see him , when we see him face to face , he'll wipe tears from our eyes and he will make us . We'll be transformed into his likeness , will be transformed into his likeness .

So , friends , we're going to artistically engage some of this kind of broad healing process that our clients go through at our upcoming fundraisers in Baltimore and DC .

We'd love to have you join us and kind of get a taste through some of the art that our clients have made , some art that we've made to reflect on things we do at retreats or in groups in Baltimore , dc . You can find more information on those in the show notes . Let me just say a prayer as I close out today .

Father God , I pray that you would encourage the listeners here , that you would restore all of our souls , that you'd give us the faith that you're doing this , that you'd give us hope in you as you're doing this , as you both remember what you made us to be , and as you're remembering us , as you're putting us back together .

Give us hope in that , in you , in the process you're doing there and , lord , god , most of all , bring us deeper into your love . Bring us deeper to be satisfied in the love of all that you are and loving relationships , god , especially where we need those to undo and to heal some of the places that relationships have really hurt us .

So bless our listeners , lord , whether they're dealing with their own sexual sin or the fallout in their marriage or relationship , or even whether they're trying to walk with , with children who don't really know how to , how to think through and heal in all these sexual ways .

I pray , lord , that you continue this restoration process and all of our listeners and that that would allow them to better love those around them . Pray all of this in the name of the father and of the son and of the Holy Spirit . Amen .