Facing the Storms in Our Sexual Brokenness Like a Buffalo

? Some of you listening right now are in the middle of a storm so fierce that you're not even sure how you're still standing . You're carrying the weight of sexual sin , betrayal , unwanted desires and shame so thick that it feels like you'll never break free . So thick that it feels like you'll never break free .

You didn't ask for this storm yet here you are and the easy thing would be to run , to numb out , to hide , to pretend that everything is fine and , if we're honest , there's probably been plenty of that already throughout your story . But what if the only way to healing is through the very storm you're trying to avoid , to avoid ?

Today's episode is about facing the storms in our sexual recovery like a buffalo , and it's about learning how to stop running , start facing and trust that God is bigger than whatever you're walking through . So let's get honest , let's get brave , let's dive in . So the first thing about weather is that we can't control it . We can't control the weather .

We can't control physical . We can't control the weather . We can't control physical storms

when they happen , whether it's tornadoes in the Midwest and I remember sitting on porches and just watching storms roll in when I used to live back in Michigan and Illinois so , whether tornadoes are rolling into the Midwest or hurricanes along the coast , or blizzards up north , where my in-laws got close to 200 inches of snow this winter , setting records for Michigan

or monsoons overseas , the fact is that every geographic location has its own type of storm , and the same is true in life . Each of us has our own unique storms , different struggles , different triggers , different seasons of pain and temptation .

And just like we can't control the weather outside , we can't control the storms that happen to us or that we go through . So if storms are guaranteed , if they're part of the terrain of both life and recovery , then the question isn't if the storm will come . The question is what are you going to do when it hits ? And see ?

That's where things get real , because in the face of a storm , you and I , we have a choice we can either face it or flee from it . And that's where this powerful metaphor comes in , one that's stuck with me for years now and has completely reframed how I think , about recovery and the difficult things in life that we face .

And this is a story of cows and buffaloes . Now , both are created by God , both live on the same plains , but when a storm shows up , they respond

in radically different ways . So first let's talk about cows ways . So first let's talk about cows . When a cow sees a storm coming , their instinct is to flee . They start moving with the direction of the storm , trying to outrun it . But here's the thing Cows are slow and that storm inevitably catches up with them .

And because they're moving in the same direction as the storm , they actually end up spending more time in the very storm that they're trying to outrun . Fleeing the storm maximizes the pain , the time and the frustration that they experience from that storm , and the same is true for you and me In our sexual brokenness .

Fleeing looks like escaping into problematic sexual behaviors like porn and fantasy instead of confronting difficult emotions or wounds . Hiding in isolation and shame instead of being fully seen and known . Staying in denial by minimizing , rationalizing or spiritualizing our struggle , or blaming or shaming others instead of taking ownership for our behavior .

Fleeing looks like anything that helps us avoid the pain rather than process it . Now , is fleeing always bad ? Absolutely not . In fact , scripture tells us that there are times to flee , and we see it very clearly in Genesis 39 . When Joseph fled

from Potiphar's wife when she tried to seduce him , he did the right thing in trying to leave that situation . As soon as he was aware of where things were heading , he fled . He knew he needed to go . In 1 Corinthians 6.18 , paul commands us to flee from sexual immorality . Similarly , in 2 Timothy 2.22 , we're told to flee youthful lusts .

And so , especially when it comes to some of the things that are sexual in nature , we sometimes need to flee to kind of get our wits about us , to kind of think straight , to just get out of that situation at all costs so that we can think clearly .

And that's one of the things about the patterns of addictions , and when you're in the throes of an addiction you can't think straight , and there's brain science that backs that up , so that fleeing actually creates a little bit of a buffer to be able to begin to think straight . But it's not the end result .

And even David fled from Saul when his life was under threat . So when our lives are under threat or there's a threat to our integrity , it's not necessarily a bad thing to flee . In fact , it may be required . But here's the thing about fleeing Even though it's sometimes necessary , it's a temporary but crucial survival tactic .

Fleeing is not meant to be long-term . It's a short-term solution rather than a permanent strategy . And what happens after all the prolonged running from the storm ?

And what happens after all the prolonged running from the storm , even if we've managed to stay ahead of it for a time , the moment we stop running , we find the storm closer than it was when we started running . So what happens ?

When we spend our lives running like cows , we end up exhausted , discouraged and we remain stuck in the middle of the storm that we were trying to avoid . And that's the trap of sexual sin and brokenness . We flee into isolation , into fantasy , into porn , hookups , emotional entanglements , maybe even just denial , hoping to escape the pain .

But the storm always catches up . The storm always catches up , and that's why I love what God teaches us through buffaloes . They do something radical . When the storm comes , they turn and face it . They turn and face it .

They charge directly into the wind , into the thunder , into the thing every instinct tells them to avoid . Why ? Because buffalo know instinctively that the fastest way through a storm is straight through it and they are built for it . Next time you take a look at a buffalo , I want you to pay attention to how it looks .

They have thick , heavy fur around their chest and shoulders and head which really serves as kind of an armor against the wind and rain . Their bodies are literally designed to handle resistance head on . They don't waste energy running from what's coming . They lean into it . Seriously , take a look at a buffalo . Maybe pause right now .

Look up a buffalo , just get this image in your head . And by running at the storm a buffalo minimizes the amount of time , pain and frustration that they experience from the storm . They go through the storm faster and I'd say that they even come out stronger . And it's exactly what God invites us to do in our recovery to stop running and start facing .

So if we apply that in our sexual recovery , we know that we can't outrun our brokenness , we can't outrun our trauma , we can't outrun our pain or our shame or our patterns of sin . Sure , we can flee for a while and again , sometimes we should , especially in early recovery , when you need safety and space .

But if you want deep healing , lasting healing , at some point we have to turn and face the storm . So what does that look like ? Well , facing the storm might mean having a hard conversation that you've been avoiding .

It might be sitting in the discomfort instead of reaching for an old coping mechanism , allowing ourselves to feel some of the pain , maybe some of the memories from trauma or different things that we've experienced , instead of unhealthy coping mechanisms when those things enter into our minds , possibly seeking answers to the why questions , instead of saying I don't know .

And I remember early in my recovery when my wife would ask me some questions about well , why

this and why that I didn't have the answers and I also didn't have the answers for . So that made me feel worse and my shame kind of took over and I tried to control that situation with anger took over and I tried to control that situation with anger .

And so , instead of you know that coming out sideways towards my wife , a better response would have been , you know , to say something like I don't , I don't know or I don't have the answers to that , that question yet . But I'm going to work towards trying to figure out why , so that I can come back and let you know what I'm discovering .

Facing the storm might look like walking through a spouse's betrayal , maybe doing something like a full disclosure . It might look like owning your relapse instead of hiding it , or grieving the losses instead of numbing them , leaning into the accountability and community and vulnerability . And sure it's harder , it's messier , but it's real and it's lasting .

Because the truth is , you don't get to choose whether you have storms . The only choice you get is how you respond and , even more specifically , when you respond . More specifically , when you respond , will you face the storm now head on and begin moving toward healing , or will you try to outrun it , only to find yourself stuck in it longer than necessary ?

There's a really powerful story in Numbers 21 , 4 through 9 that shows us this truth . The people of israel were traveling through the wilderness , tired , discouraged , angry , and they started to complain against god and moses . They said things why have you brought us out here to die ? There's no food , there's no water .

This is terrible , just this constant grumbling , really even forgetting what they've just been delivered from .

And so , after all these different complaints and there were a number of times , um , where multiple , multiple , um israelites are complaining , so in in response to this , scripture says that god allowed poisonous snakes to come among them , and many were bitten and actually died . But then God made a way for healing .

So he instructs Moses to build this bronze snake and lift it up on a pole and anyone who was bitten could look at it and live Literally having to face it . They had to look at the very thing that had caused their pain , lift it up high

to find their healing . And the same is true in recovery . Healing doesn't come from ignoring pain . It comes from facing it honestly and lifting our eyes to the one who can heal us .

Jesus himself referenced this moment in John 3 , 14-15 , saying that just as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness , so must the Son of man be lifted up that whoever believes in Him may have eternal life . Facing your storm , your sin , your brokenness , and looking to Christ is the pathway to healing .

So I want to ask again how do you respond to the storms in your life ? Which direction are you heading ? Are you like the cow , trying to outrun the inevitable , making the storm last longer ? Are you ready to be like the buffalo , turning , facing and trusting that God will carry you through ? Just like the buffalo , you were made to face the storm .

You've been equipped by the Spirit of God , and he tells us that we are not alone .

Scripture says that he will never leave us or forsake us , and so , no matter how difficult that storm is , I think the most comforting thing to know is that you are not alone , and the clearer skies that you're longing for , and the clearer skies that you're longing for , they're just on the other side of your courage and walking through that storm with Jesus .

Before we close today , I just want to pray over you , god . You see every storm we're walking through . You know every place where we are tempted to flee , to hide , to run away . Abba , father , give us the courage to face the storms in our lives . Strengthen us with your spirit , the storms in our lives . Strengthen us with your spirit .

Armor us with your love and steady our feet to move toward healing . Help us not to fear the pain but to trust that you are with us in it . Lift our eyes to you , the one who brings us true healing and hope . Abba , teach us to be like the buffalo bold , steady and full of trust . We surrender our storms to you , father .

Lead us through with your kindness and your grace . It's in Jesus' name that we pray , amen . Thank you so much for being with me today and until next time . Friends , keep facing the storm . There is freedom on the other side .