Episode 1: Swipe Right

The setup episode one.

Swipe right, this is only your second week in therapy one. It takes time.

Yeah.

Yeah, So how did creating the dating profile make you feel?

Oh?

Good? Yeah? Fine, I mean good good. It felt it felt good so good.

That's encouraging any matches?

No, not not not technically, I'm not sure I understand.

Well, the thing is that I didn't actually use the app.

Hmmm, I see.

Well, I mean it's not like I didn't try to use it. I did.

I did try, but well, every time I opened it, I got hit with this wave of nausea and and then my heart started beating like so fast, and it felt like I was kind of stuck in and it's never ending, like time loop, you know. So I opened the app, closey app, opened the app, close the app, open the app, close the app, open the app.

I've got it.

Yeah, right, of course you got it. But it's just it's proper for the best. Anyway. I'm too busy to be dating right now, you know, with a museum exhibit and the ATOMAL exhibit.

Yeah, in my mind has been all over the place, you know, finalizing the layout, curating the paintings, making sure that all the guests have RCP. We've finally got that amazing new painting by Margaret de Lano.

Yes, Vietry soon, Mari.

Oh did I did I mention that last session?

You are a little scatter brained right now?

See what I mean.

There's just no way, no no way I could handle a date right now. I'd self implode.

But there has to be some effort on your part to reach out and connect with other people.

I connect with other people.

Do you outside of the museum? Well, Juan, I say this with the utmost of care. You cannot keep living your life in one dimension. At some point you've got to step out of the canvass and into the real world. I say you give the dating app another shot before the big exhibit. When is it again?

Five days?

Perfect?

Your next assignment is to wipe right at least once, just once. Sometimes once is all it takes.

Please see you guys, neus you a local for today until your visit steady right, You gotta be careful with that, yeah, I get no, stop stop stop please no no sorry, sorry, I'm sorry.

But this piece needs to be just a little more to the left so it catches the light.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, a little more.

No no no, no no no no no too far so far no.

Back to the right, back to the right, back to the right.

Wait wait wait wait no no, no, no, no no no, the other right, the other right, the other.

Right, guys, I said, to the right. Wait there. Oh, perfect, Actually.

That's that's totally right. No, bring it back to the light. Yeah, that's great, thank you.

Guys.

Oh you know, what do you mind grabbing those paintings, the ones in the back, the ones that got delivered today.

Astonishing brushwork.

I can almost feel the breeze here, the waves.

This painting. It's transcendent, it's it's what is that?

Okay, let's do another one, but make sure you get my good any last time square download. I love it. Actually get low work.

Work for it.

This looks so then pan out to a fish eye so we could get the paintings in. Okay, I need this supposed to be giving dark Academia Parisian and food service.

Stephanie are joining the clock right now. And who is that? Oh my god, does he even have a visit respect one.

This is my cameraman, Ducks, Ducks, this is my boss.

On souping us up bro, I'll be over here. Stephanie up.

You're supposed to be helping me set up the exhibit, not not Fielming tiktoks.

I'm curating our social presence.

Yeah, but well I need you to help me curate and exhibit where all the paintings are level.

Stop trying to ass curator just because Williams out of town.

No, I'm not trying to. This exhibit is incredibly special to me. Okay, did you even realize how lucky you are to be experiencing these paintings up close? The transcendent power of standing in this room? Do you know what I'm talking about?

I touched strooms out of Harry Styles concert Ones and fully come in with God, that.

Is not, that's not, that's not, that's not the same thing, That's not the same thing.

Art is subjective.

One.

If I say Harry Styles is a piece of art, he is a piece of art.

What is art? Is this painting by Margaret Delano?

And No, the seventeenth century European cannon is so boring. I mean, so it's like another pretty landscape some random beach in Italy, so basic, there's like no point of view at all.

It's it's anything but basic. Okay.

Margaret Dono was one of the most revered impressionists of the seventeenth century.

I must have tuned out that lecture.

But I am here for a strong female artist in a male dominated time period.

Okay, you know what I can work with that. Okay. So this is one of Margaret Delano's very first.

Paintings, a stunning depiction of the beaches of Vetri Sulmare in southern Italy. She painted it entirely from the window of the tiny room she was subjugated to by her overbearing husband.

She never actually experienced the beaches in but.

If I look at her painting, really look at it, it's almost like I can actually hear the waves roaring against the shoreline, like I can feel the ocean spray against my face. And now and now I'm walking walking along the beach.

The world is full of an almost intoxicating promise, unfamiliar faces and possibilities waiting for me at every corner.

Oh my god, this is TikTok gold. Are you feeling no, No, try that on.

Oh my god, chill, I'll delete it.

Steffanie Stiffee, I was I was actually trying to connect with you.

This exhibit is really important to me, and I thought that I could just Oh my.

Gosh, crop William just text me, and I need to make sure that all the paintings are even and leveled.

Yeah, that's what I've just such no timeline. I gotta find it, take measure. Oh come on, what I what?

No, absolutely not, Indy, There's no way I'm swiping right for a guy in turtleneck.

Oh ok yeah, six.

One, But nothing I was. I was just a teaching Indy to fetch.

With your cell phone.

Okay, okay, fine, fine, I downloaded a dating now yeah, I mean more.

Finally, did I see us? Wait a second? Okay, well hold on, no no, no.

No, no, no, no no wait hold on. We are doing this tonight. We don't make an old woman repeat herself.

Okay, fine, but I am definitely not swiping right on anybody tonight.

Okay.

Oh look at him, Jared thirty seven, a firefighter.

Swipe right, swipe right, one no way.

Look at his photos. He's shirtless and literally every one of them. I can I can just imagine the date right now.

What's up?

Man, I'm Jared.

I love staring at myself in the mirror and lathering my body in baby oil.

I will definitely break up with you using the three word tex and a thumbs up emoji.

Fine, fine Left.

I meet up Emilio twenty seven, a poet. He looks very respectable and he's wearing a shirt.

No, he's way too young. Plus he's dressed like a pretentious hipster. Okay, hipster, yeah, a hipster. Trust me. If we went on a date, it would be a total disaster.

Hi, I'm a Milio.

I'm only really interested in hearing the sound on my own voice and talking about.

My extremely niche underground music taste, which you definitely I haven't heard of.

Oh ghosha.

After a second date, why not boys? No hipsters left?

Oh wow.

Fernando thirty nine, owns his own bookstore.

I enjoy quiet mornings and in the early nights. I'm an art enthusiast, a dog lover, and I'm looking for a real, meaningful connection with someone who's satisfied spending a quiet Saturday evening inside just being together.

He's perfect Colla.

There's no way a guy like that would go out for a guy like me.

I want this.

Fernando would be lucky to have a sensitive, intelligent, maybe too skinny, and she would eat more young man.

Like you in his life.

And you never know, he could be sitting alone on his couch. You just waiting for you too, all right, all right.

Okay, okay, fine, fine, fine, I'm swiping right. Okay, Holy crap, it's a match.

Okay, Okay, he's asking if I want to go grab dinner with him tonight.

I want to say yes. No, no, I can't say yes. I can't ditch you for dinner.

Well, I don't know what this ditch, but I will save you some leftovers. You are going on that date? End of this question?

Okay, what It's just a date. Breathe I'm not gonna be nervous about things we nervous about.

Stephanie, Why are you texting me at eight pm?

Okay? What do you want?

May have accidentally posted your weird art video going viral, so sorry, not sorry.

Now I'm walking walking along than me.

This is not good.

Okay, okay, okay, breathe on, you're walk down.

I told you it was, you told me you deleted. How many people have seen it?

It?

Wn'll be such a drama. Queen one, if only like one hundred thousand. What Honestly, my mom's cat gets more engagement. Just think of it as free brand marketing for the It's a huge wind.

Weirdly, there are a ton of us in the comments asking for your Instagram.

Oh my god, no, no, no, no, what if Fernando saw this? Oh I'm so sorry. No, I have to go CHESSI chessy. Oh thank god, Oh, thank god.

One Fernando, it's great to meet you.

I have to leave. I have to leave.

I got claustrophobic, and I spilled somebody's drinkle over my shirt and the stain it's it's not gonna come out unless I put the turgeon on it.

And my always says that the first four hours are critical for removing stains.

And if I don't go home right now, then then then there's a chance that the shirt will be ruined. And I can't ruin the shirt because I don't have that mean next year.

Hey what, just breathe, just breathe. Good forget the bar. How about a walk. The cold air will help, I promise.

Okay, I'm honestly shocked that you didn't go sprinting in the other direction as soon as you saw me. I'm pretty sure I looked insane. I think I might still look insane. Oh actually, oh my god, I look in sane right now, don't I don't.

I you look great. I used to get panic attacks too. How are you feeling?

Honestly a little better? Things?

Brisk walk and fresh air works wonders on the net.

Yeah, right, nerves, I think actually being to be honest, I was nervous to meet you.

It was a big part of it.

Yeah, it's it's been it's been a while, you know, since I've been out on a date to what really, Oh, come on, I don't I don't believe that for a second.

I mean it's partially by choice.

Wait, what do you mean?

Well, it's hard to find someone who's just satisfied with a quiet Saturday evening and you know, one of those nights where you can just sit and read a book together and my piece of art just just let it wash over you.

Wow, I exactly what you mean.

I guess. I guess some people would call that picky.

Yeah.

I'm kind of picky about certain things too, you know, I'm always I always felt like my exes they never really got it, you know, or were like annoyed by it. You know, maybe the way I organize my room or make my bag.

You know, your space is your sanctuary.

Thank you exactly. Yes.

Wow, oh, hey, we're at the museum. I oh, that's funny. I didn't even realize that we had walked this far. I'm the curator here.

Oh, I know. You know I might have seen a TikTok of you earlier today, the one with the Delano painting. It was, Oh, it was refreshing. I haven't seen anything so genuine online a long time.

It's just sometimes I lose myself in a painting. It's like I don't even realize it until it's already happening.

I feel the same way when I lose myself in a great book. You know, I'm not surprised that you're the head museum curator. I mean you must be in heaven surrounded by all those pieces of art.

Yeah, well it's yeah, it's also a lot of work.

Oh it must be. I mean you must stay after hours all the time just to experience the paintings without the hustle and bustle of the crowds, no responsibilities, no distractions, just you and the art.

Yeah, yeah, I absolutely, I am. I am the head carriator, and can I can do that. I can do that whenever I do you want to do you want to sneak in and take a quick peek right now? I mean we're just finalizing the I don't know exhibit, So what if you want?

I can really yeah.

No way, I've never been in a museum after hours, that's yeah.

I could totally wait. So sorry, I'm so sorry for a second. Hello, what wait? Right now?

Is she?

Okay?

Wall?

Where where is she? Okay, I'll be right there. I'll be right there. I'll be right there.

Everything all right?

No, no, it's not I have I have to go. I have to leave right now. I'm so sorry, I have to go.

What's going on?

It's my grandmother. She she said that. They said that she had a heart attack and she's she's at the hospital right now. Oh my god, Oh my god. I should never have left her alone.

Okay, let's tail a cap.

No no, no, no, no, no, no, you don't have to do that. You don't have to do that.

Okay, this probably isn't what you're expecting on our first date, right, So I totally get it.

If you just want to go it won't.

Yeah, yes, I'm not going anywhere. Think you.

I'm just I'm sorry.

It's just I just i's a little overwhelmed, you know, and I'm scared.

It's okay, it's okay to be scared. Is there anyone else you can call?

No?

No, boy, that's what I happened. I never I never really met my folks, So I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah, my dad he kind of jumped ship when.

I was born.

And your mom, well she left me with when I was a little over a year old.

And what doesn't what doesn't been the one who's raised me home by yourself.

Well, you're incredibly lucky to have her. I mean, families can be complicated.

Yeah, hi there, I'm so sorry to interrupt.

Are you here from Malagro, Costio?

Yes?

Yes, she okay, she is. She's ready for visitors.

Now can you go one, I'm gonna grab some coffee.

I'm sure you know, I'm sure you have better things to do if you want to go. I told you I'm.

Not going anywhere.

Okay, thank you.

I told the hospital not to bother you.

One you had a heart attack, oh.

Yes, the little one. I've had worse heartburn.

You almost gave me one. Luckily Fernando was there and he and.

The beautiful bookstore man is he here? Don't this that I want to meet?

Okay, well that's settled down before you have another heart attack please, And yes, Fernando's here.

He even paid for the taxi.

Why the gentleman.

Yeah, he's a pretty great.

You like him, I can see it in your eyes.

I do.

Then go to him.

Don't stick around here moping. Take Fernando back to the apartment. You'll have the place all yourselves the whole night. Oh my god, what I promise I'll be Okay. The doctor told me I'd be out of here in no time at all.

I am not leaving you here alone.

Are You're really going to deny an old woman's dying wish?

Okay, okay, you are not dying, and I am staying and of discussion.

Fine, but I want to hear every detail.

Hey, how was your willa?

Hey? Somehow more energeneric?

Well that's great. Here is your coffee. I don't know how you like it, so I just made it how I make mine?

Oh okay, cream one sugar, Yeah, wow, that's actually perfect. Well, Hey, look I think I'm going to spend the night here, and I know that you came all the way and our date was definitely not how you probably plan it, and I actually don't.

Expect you to ever talk to me ever again, So I totally get it. You just want to completely Yeah.

Tonight did kind of take an unexpected turn.

Yeah, but.

I would really love to see you again, if that's okay?

Why? Sorry? Why?

Well, I guess I'm saying I like you. Yeah, yes, I am saying that I like you and I would like to get to know you better.

You like me, it's that surprised. Well, I know, I don't. I don't know, I think so next.

Time, I'm taking you up on the offer to sneak me into the museum.

After our Yes, totally absolutely sounds like fun next time for sure?

Yes, Well I I should, I should go, right, I should?

Okay? But on the wait, well did you will meet? Sorry?

You're sorry?

No, I was just I just I really wanted to do that.

You have no reason to be sorry.

I'm really glad that you did. Great, I see you sound it's a date. The day, it's a day, sir. You are in a hospital, right right, right right? Oh my gosh, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, I'm so sorry, but you did you see? Literally perfect, literally handsomed like what they? So kind and gentle?

Dg what the hell are you doing here?

Open the door, so craggy say out too late on your face, date, Fernando, Open the door right now, Hey, little cuz, long time, no see did you miss me?

Let me in?

Oh, come on, I haven't seen you since Operation Eric. Shouldn't I get a hug or something.

I'm giving you three seconds, taging one to you know.

Prison wasn't too bad, and I had a bunch of time to think, found God or whatever.

I always figured you'd burst into flames if you step foot in the church. Where's my father?

I'm right here, Fernando. Did you acquire the painting?

A tough night because.

I made contact with the mark, but things got complicated.

I need more time or a bigger brain, better skills tech.

I swear to.

God enough both of you, Fernando. I'm preparing to step down as head of the family business. I'm ready to hand the reins over to somebody who can handle the responsibility of running an international gun empire.

I'm ready, Toad. I've been preparing my entire life watching the way you handle the business, the way you keep the authorities in line. I mean, what is so funny?

I'm just picturing you dealing with the authorities.

I swear to God, Gigi every time, Fernando, my boy, I respect your enthusiasm, but I am wary of your tactics. They're fallible at best, emotional erratic. And I've been awakened to another possibility, another possibility for what exactly Your cousin has come to me with the proposal. She believes she can run the business better than you can, that she's the stronger.

Gone, stronger, better, and more stylish.

Are you kidding me? She is a literal red flag in that bright red coat, leaving a disaster in her wake. After every goddamn.

Job you say potato, I say you're reckless, and I say your spinals.

Enough bakery for Christ's sake. Yes, Gigi may have eccentricities, Fernando, but she also gets resolved eccentricity.

She's a maniac.

To move an empire into the future, we need to think out of the box, which is why I am giving you one more opportunity, my son, one more chance to prove yourself worthy of shepherding our family's legacy into the next era.

Get me that painting and if I fail, if I don't secure the painting, if I can't.

Well, then the business is mine, bitch.

The setup was produced by Sonro in partnership with Iheart'smichael Dura podcast Network. Created and written by Ivy Marie and Philippe Baujan, directed by Bettina Lopez, Produced by Luis Elado Castillo, developed by Bettina Lopez, story editing by Nick Milanz. Executive produced by Harvey Gillen and Christian Navarro. Connel Byrne and Giselle Bances for iHeart and Camilla Victoriano and Joshua Weinstein

Voices recorded at the.

Invisible Studios in Los Angeles, The Relic Room in New York, and Cabby Sound Studios in Albuquerque, New Mexico, with engineering by Lester Danglar, Brett Tubin, and Colin Ungerlier. If you're enjoying the setup, please subscribe, rate, and review our show wherever you're listening