#570 Exploring Courage with Father Brian Gannon: Dedicated to our brothers and sisters who experience same-sex attraction and those who love them.

Spent time teaching in various Catholic schools in Connecticut and New York . He's a professor of Moral Theology at the Major Seminary in New York and pastor of St Teresa in Trumbull , connecticut . Fr Gannon previously assisted Father Cech with the local Courage chapter in Bridgeport and also gave the Nihil Obstat , which is an official approval .

We can talk about that if you want to tell people what that is . Sometimes they don't know , but anyways , it just shows that the book , the 40th anniversary edition of the Courage Handbook , was released in 2020 . Father gave the Nile Obstat to that , which just says that it's nothing in conflict with our faith and morals , basically , and he remains pastor .

It was just before we came on , father , just saying I don't know how you do it . You remain pastor of St Teresa while taking on the responsibility of the executive director of Courage International . Father , there's a lot there and I know we could talk about a lot more about your background . It's amazing , so welcome . Thank you so much for joining us today .

Hey thank you , jack , it's great to be here with you . Well , there's no more confusion out there , Father . You know , with the John Paul II Renewal Center we're presenting in churches all over the country , really on theology of the body and other things Identity , meaning and purpose , why we're created male and female .

There's no more confusion out there , especially to our young people coming into the church , on gender , same-sex , attraction , things like that . So , Father , tell us a little bit about courage , Encourage for people that don't know and the kind of work that you do there .

But officially the Archbishop at that time of New York City , cardinal Terence Cook , actually spoke with the well-known Father Benedict Grishel and asked I really want to do a pastoral outreach to those who have same-sex attraction , because I think a lot of this is coming especially in the forefront of the public mindset , especially in the 60s and 70s with the

so-called sexual revolution and the libertinism that really followed from that in the media culture . And so Benedict Creschel recommended Father John Harvey and you know , talk about the Holy Spirit is in charge and Father John Harvey was the right man at the right time .

And so they started putting things together , a program , and so in 1980 , they found it in one church in Manhattan , the very first Courage chapter . Then they moved it to another church shortly thereafter , but then it just simply began to grow and grow and then moved to Toronto .

That was the first international Courage chapter and then moved to actually to the point today where we're at over 280 chapters worldwide .

So Father Harvey , himself a very holy man trying to push his cause for sainthood , and I think rightfully so , a man who was staunchly committed to all that the Catholic Church teaches , which , ironically , you know , the secular world thinks well , it's rough . No , it's actually .

It's always rooted in charity and , by all accounts , of everybody who knew Father Harvey , one of the most loving and most compassionate people he could meet and at the same time , a very , very dedicated church man , and so was Father Groeschel and Cardinal Cook .

If I'm you know , if I've got some same-sex attraction , or I know somebody that is , you know what is courage ? What does it actually do , father ? What can it do for people ?

So it operates under the Bishop Caggiano , who's the Bishop .

Bridgeport is actually also the chairman of the Episcopal Board for Courage , which seats about seven bishops who are kind of like the overseers of the executive board , and then , of course , the staff , and then the Courage chapters worldwide , and then of course the staff and then the Courage chapters worldwide .

So at the local level , maybe one way to begin this is the beautiful line of St Augustine our hearts are restless , o Lord , until they rest in thee . And what people discover all over their lives , no matter what challenges , sinful inclinations , weaknesses that we may face , the restlessness , I just want to be at peace with myself .

I just want to have happiness in life . And so , especially with those who experience same-sex attraction , they realize that there's something more , there's something greater , and where do I go ? And so courage is . The chapter is a way in which we surrender to our Lord and Savior , jesus Christ , with we always .

The road to spiritual union with Christ always begins with humility . Right , blessed are the poor in spirit , for theirs is the kingdom of heaven . So we recognize all right , the world is wrong about this . Jesus Christ is right about this .

It's going to be challenging , it's going to be difficult , but nevertheless I know that this is where the answer to to the healing that I seek and to the love that I seek is in the cross and the resurrection of Jesus Christ , our Lord , who gives us the greatest hope of all . So at the Courage . So I recommend to people right off the bat .

You know , go to our Courage International website and in therein I can't remember the exact , but you would go to look for the local Courage chapter .

You could fill in like your zip code , your address , and then that will point you to a proper person to contact , and then you would contact an individual and then that individual would reach out and then eventually you could join the local Courage chapter and so- Will those fathers usually fall underneath the diocese or not necessarily ?

So the clergy , so it's either a priest or a deacon who is the moderator for the group , and so they're the ones who are playing spiritual director and also kind of the fatherly person in the group , obviously as a Catholic .

So is it kind of , you know , I'm going to come into a group setting , I'm going to meet other people . Is that what this is like ?

It's just like walking into a regular Catholic church you know everybody in the pew is very different , but nevertheless they in this case everybody has experienced that same-sex attraction .

So in a group meeting , what we would do is the very first thing you do is read off the five goals of courage , and then each man will share his challenges and his joys over the last week or the last several weeks since they last met . And so there's also spiritual direction involved .

There's a particular theme for that , and then guys can offer suggestion to other guys as well from their own personal experience , as well as the priest moderator offering his counsel as well , as well as the priest moderator offering his counsel as well , and of course there's always availability for confession .

But then so a key part of this is which goes with our Catholic faith is the teaching of the church , but also the fellowship and spiritual friendship . Spiritual friendship is so essential to this whole thing and the whole nature of . I always think . Actually Cicero was neither Jewish nor Christian , but when he wrote a wonderful book on friendship .

He said you know , friendship has been granted by nature as an aid to virtue , not as a companion to vice , and so the pagan philosophers recognize this , you know , in Greece and in Rome .

And so this is coupled with God's grace , with the wisdom of the church , we achieve authentic friendship , authentic love and affection for one another , which is not fundamentally expressed sexually , but it's fundamentally expressed through subordination to our Lord and to his love and compassion .

And then I think the best thing to do if people are just really not sure , call Courage Internationally go to the website and just call them if you're just not sure about contacting or unsure about even using the website , and someone will pick up the phone who will be very , very helpful .

The whole staff wants nothing more than to help people reach their goal .

So the Encourage , of course , is for parents , family members who have a family member who has same-sex attraction , and that family member who has the same-sex attraction may not actually be a member of Courage and may be actually someone who is not interested , but obviously the parents suffer and so they go to a group called Courage where they have that fellowship

with other parents who are struggling and they also have a priest moderator as well or a deacon moderator who really gives them the support and the compassion of Holy Mother Church as well .

Look , we're products in a way of our culture , aren't we ? And you know , a lot of it depends on how we were formed , et cetera , et cetera . But the erroneous part of it and I try to get this over to them is that , yes , you know , jesus always sat down with everybody , you know everybody for dinner , right , come on in , tax collectors , prostitutes .

If you've got same-sex , it doesn't matter , right ? We're all beautiful human beings , brothers and sisters . But he would always heal you physically if you needed to , and then he would say go out and sin no more . He was going to free you . We want to be free , father , don't we ? We want to be free .

And I think sometimes , in our want to be empathetic , to be compassionate , we forget about that second part , that people want to transcend their weaknesses , and I'm not talking about just same-sex , I mean all of our weaknesses . We all have something . Unfortunately , with sex , it seems . Our culture , father , with sex , is the only one we don't want to heal .

We're just normal , everything's normal , right ? So if I drink too much , or I gamble too much , or I'm infidel , you know I'm cheating on my wife , well , there's a sin . But when it comes to just plain sex , especially with these gender ideologies , now , everything's perfectly normal .

And this is very important , father , this conversation , because we work with schools , we work with the national sex ed standards that are being pushed in states like we're in Illinois . I call it the belly of the beast , father , and so this confusion really is there . So Christ always came in to free us , so maybe you could talk a little bit about that .

Right , we want to invite everybody in to the church , but Jesus loves us too much to leave us in our weaknesses and our sins , doesn't he ?

And as you said , our Lord's concluding words to the woman caught in adultery he rescues her from being stoned to death , but he says to her go and sin no more , and of course we're going to fall into sin .

That's why God gives us not one sacrament but seven sacraments , because he's very patient with us and he knows that we need the sacraments , especially of healing and confession , and the sacrament of nourishment in the Most Holy Eucharist . And so , but nevertheless and John Paul II so beautifully has written extensively on freedom right .

But you were enslaved there , you were treated beneath your dignity there , and that's a metaphor for sin . Let me go back to my sin , because it was just easier . It was just easier . And then I guess maybe a kind of an atomic bomb that went off in our culture back in the 1960s was the whole issue of birth control .

John , excuse me , paul VI , humanae Vitae , and he , just what all Paul VI did was simply reassert what the church had taught for fundamentally for 2,000 years . But also , what's critical about it is is that what are the goals of human sexuality ? And this is another thing .

That was so why the election of John Paul II was so timely , because he wrote so articulately about this relationship between man and woman , genesis and just the beauty of conjugal love , and so the unitive and the procreative , and so the goal that's clearly stated out in Holy Scripture , in Genesis . So if you deviate from those goals .

If you redefine what human sexuality is all about and ultimately it's about pleasure then now you've just broken down , you've attacked the family , you've attacked matrimony and even , actually , as we see , gender . And so then , therefore , sexuality is simply a social construct .

And so then , therefore , if I drink a glass of water in this circumstances or that circumstance , if I engage in sexual relations , it's no different , but it's hardwired into our soul . And so the only way that human sexuality can be fully expressed is in holy matrimony , sanctified by God , between a husband and a wife , to fulfill the goals .

Anything outside of that , it's really like fire . Fire is an extraordinary useful element in the world . It can warm us and it can cook for us , but if the fire gets out of control , it will destroy us , and the same thing goes for the remarkable power of human sexuality .

Thomas Aquinas would say that the sexual drive in the human person is the second most powerful drive , after the will to survive . And so then , therefore , we're dealing with something of enormous power , enormous power , but it's like driving . It's like driving a stagecoach with 20 horses .

You've got to have them under control or you're going right over the cliff and off the road .

And then somebody said you know , well , you know , we got away from marriage and so this got confused . And then now we have the trans issues and I said well , you can go back one more step if you really want to get to the baseline . And it's really the contraceptive mentality that you just brought up .

Once we got away from babies and bonding and that beautiful sacrament of marriage , then all hell basically broke loose and the beauty of that we can condemn . There's plenty of passages , right , father , in Scripture that condemn homosexuality . But much more productive and Father Harvey was on to that is what you brought up .

You know , the model of this is love , this authentic Trinitarian love , and when you start to think about marriage and the family as being this little reflection of Trinitarian love in the world , where again , just the two , my wife and I can become one and become three .

There's like a love bomb explosion that goes off , right Called a zygote , a baby , and there's literally , father , a moment in time where the two , my wife and I , become one , become three . There's three persons in one , a little creative , sacramental reflection of Trinitarian love in the world .

That's why it's so powerful , father , if I take that Thomas Aquinas is right , as a man , I know this Once you release lust and selfishness , especially our sexuality , ooh man , the genie got out of the bottle , father , didn't it ?

So the passions and the instincts of the physical body were completely in union and harmony and governed by the instincts of the soul , which is self-giving love to god after the original sin , the great divide and the war between the flesh and the spirit .

And so then , therefore , that's what we have to put , you know , that's where grace , but also the exercise of human virtue , is critical , where we're getting back to that mastery over the passions . Because , as you said , you know the world is going to encourage just sexual libertinism , and so , but what we ? You've got to be really .

I don't want to say academic about this , but we've got to be very thoughtful and reflective about this , actually , I should say metaphysical about it . What is the fundamental purpose of human sexuality ? Because it's such an extraordinary power . It destroys people , right ?

Adultery destroys Children born out of wedlock , really hurts the poor child who's born out of wedlock . And , of course , the rampant social diseases as well . All of these are the products of the so-called sexual revolution , and it shows the enormous kind of I always like to half joke about . God is the most practical of them all .

If we just listen to him and follow him , we wouldn't have half the problems in the world that we have today And- .

And I remember one time , father , you know , struggling early on in my own marriage and I remember kneeling down at the foot of the cross , you know , and our intimacy was not good . You know , we're arguing all the time and as a man , I'm thinking man . You know , I need to be fulfilled .

You know , I got all this stuff going on in my body and I'm mad because my wife's pushing me away . And I start to pray and I look up in this chapel , father , and had a crucifix with Jesus , of course , on it , and then our Blessed Mother and St Joseph and I'm complaining about sex to three virgins .

And I look up at St Joseph and I realized that he never was able to , you know , was never given the chance to consummate this right . I mean , our Blessed Mother is impregnated with Jesus himself and yet I look up at him and I go ooh , how did you do that right ? How did you do that ? Honest to goodness , father ?

I got up , and the reason I'm telling you this is I got up and within a day or two , I realized that I opened my heart to St Joseph , of course , to Jesus , to his immaculate heart of his mother , mary there . And that selfishness , that twisting of that lust was untwisted and I opened that to Jesus .

And this is what we're calling these people with same you know all our brothers and sisters with same-sex attractions . Right To come into the church . Open your heart up , don't push it down . Right , we're not telling you to stop these desires , to let Jesus untwist them . He did it for me . He did it .

I have a brother that was sexually abused , father , got into a homosexual lifestyle , brought me back into the church . I won't go into it now . On his deathbed he had come back into the church , he had received the sacraments , he had been free and he brought me back into the Catholic church and the rest of my brothers . So there's a real power there , father .

I know I went on a little bit , but that's the power and the beauty of what we're inviting people into , isn't it ?

So all of my love then somehow has to be . If it's going to be truly authentic , love has to be connected to the cross . So I have to be willing to surrender all of myself to Almighty God , and that agape right . And so the expression of sexual you know , sexuality is meant to be an expression of love .

But first you've got to get the definition of love and love . That's why the commandments , the first three commandments , are relationship with God . The next seven are relationship with our neighbor . So we've got to get our loving relationship with God in order and then we're able to love our neighbor much more fully and much more authentically .

And that's it Because in the end , our religion is a faith of excuse me , yeah , it's a faith of a great . The theological virtue of hope , it's about being freed from the unbridled freedom and do whatever you want leads to slavery . But the sacrifice and putting myself in that ordered love towards God .

As Augustine defines , virtue is ordered love , and God is order right . He places things in order , but only because it benefits us , and he's actually explaining to us what our supernatural DNA is , where we're really going to find true happiness .

And the reflection on St Joseph is so apropos because here's a man who , right , enters into marriage but will never experience conjugal intimacy , but at the same time is the greatest of all human fathers who ever lived , and to say the very very least .

And so his surrender to God and then his absolute , really mutual surrender to the Blessed Mother , their surrender to each other but for their love of Christ first , brings about the most extraordinary holiness of any family that ever walked the face of the earth . So it becomes a model for all men .

If I get my , it's not about repressing sexual urges , it's because that's like for the celebrated priesthood , for the consecrated religious sister , it's rechanneling it towards an expression of love , the natural maternalism I always like to have . Joke about Mother Teresa . Would anybody really dare to say Mother Teresa was not a real mother ?

You know , she was an extraordinary mother , and that goes for all the saints and so , and that's what we're striving to , be true fathers and true mothers , even though we live a celibate life . But it's rechanneling that paternalism the way our Lord will channel it . I kind of joke with my . I remember teaching kids 20 years ago .

I said if you never eat , what's going to happen ? They say , say you'll die . I said , yeah , if you never drink any water , you'll die . If you stop sleeping , what will happen ? You'll die . I said if you never ever have sex again , I promise you you will not die and um yeah but that's not to understate the power of sexuality and sexual drive .

It's extraordinarily powerful , but but the point is , is that it's not fundamental to survival , but what it is is it's fundamental , but what we want to do is get a reflective hold on it and channel that sexual drive into a healthy direction that is only going to be guided by the wisdom of God , only the wisdom of God .

You know , one of the most beautiful things in the world is when that selfishness , even let's call it lust . John Paul would say the opposite of love is not hate , the opposite of love is lust right , because love is pouring yourself out for the good of another . This is what Jesus does on the cross . The opposite is grasping right , taking for myself .

So the opposite of love is grasping . Taking . That beautiful virtue of chastity that we're calling people into is for single people , same-sex attracted people , heterosexual attracted people . That beauty of chastity stops us right . And it opens up and says , nope , I have to will the good of another person , you know , and that's what it does .

Of course we're called to be to continence , of course , you know , in same-sex attraction , which means just take a pause , come back and see if you can't be , like you said , you know , re-channeled , open that sexual energy up and let Christ untwist it , because you don't want to push it down , father , and I don't want to indulge it .

I work with guys that are addicted to pornography . These young guys , by accident , you know that , get drawn into it by accident and they push it down , push it down , then they get hungry , right Starvation diet , and then they indulge , and they push it down and they indulge . And this is the same thing a lot of times with our sexual attractions .

We know the third way , father , don't we ? You know that three-dimensional way that those sexual desires have been put into our heart by design to lead us to our destiny . To open those up . It's the most freeing thing in the world , father . And John Paul would say freedom is always for something , freedom is for something . So what am I choosing , right ?

I got to choose authentic love don't I ?

I don't mind being a warrior , I just want to know why I'm fighting the battle you know , and we're not always telling them .

It leads to a wholeness , because actually the root word of integrity is wholeness right , an integer is a whole number , right , and so wholeness .

So if you want to be a man or woman of true integrity , you want to master your sexual drive absolutely and then just understanding that the only way it could ever be expressed in a holy , sanctified way is in holy matrimony . And so then , therefore , by doing that , I'm actually going to accomplish a wholeness within myself .

It's not repression , but actually it's a mastery that's going to give me a real sense of peace , because the ironic thing is that we're actually taught in so many other avenues to master our passions .

I feel like somebody bumps into me in the street and I want to punch him , or somebody puts me off and I want to chase after him in my car and hold on the horn . Our passions are wild , but they're like wild horses , but we want to as one .

They're like giant lions , right , and you have the lion tamer , and if the lions are not tamed , they'll rip the lion tamer . He had no chance . But if he tames them he can put them to great power for himself . And that's the same thing with the sexual drive .

We're getting so crazy , but maybe just in a couple of minutes to talk about identity , because sometimes we're too accepting . In fact , we're taught as kids now , in elementary schools , to accept the label . I'm an LGBTQIA++ , you know . And then the problem with that , father , isn't it that I start to live out the label ?

That's a danger , but that's not my identity . And so this is what you know , what courage does so ? Well , what is my identity , father ? It's not a label , is it ? No , it's not a label , right , the most fundamental identity it's like what is my identity , father ?

So my definition is made in the image and likeness of God . What gives you a greater , higher value ? What gives you a greater self-worth ? What should give you the most incredible self-esteem ? I'm made in the image and likeness of God and , though the fact that I'm a sinner and God knows all my sins , he still died for me and rose from the dead .

And that's what I'll tell parents . You know , in general situations like , the greatest thing you want for your kids is to have that relationship with Christ , but to build their self-esteem on Christ .

It'll make them stronger against their peers , stronger against the bombardment of the absolute lies and deceptions of this world , especially when they go off into college and they're going to be bombarded with all sorts of craziness . But to know who I am in terms of my relationship with God , that's the greatest anchor that we could ever have .

And so then , no , I was just going to say what's so interesting , especially in the past 50 , 60 years , is that the so-called sexual revolution , step by step , is just you start to see the demonic behind it .

Right , because it's a rebellion against marriage , it's a rebellion against family , it's a rebellion against the whole purpose of human intimacy , and then it even becomes a rebellion , as we see in recent years , against sexual gender , against male and female . It's so remarkable how it's all like a big missile aimed at Genesis .

You know , Sister Lucia wrote a letter to who became Cardinal Cofara you know , when he was working with John Paul II and he was tasked with putting up the Pontifical Institute for Marriage and Family in Rome , right To push you know , not to push but to teach this theology of what would become theology of the body , talking about everything we're talking about here

but he felt the demonic . Basically he really felt the evil oppressing this institution as he was trying to put it together . From inside the church , where the smoke of Satan was inside the church too , we know that , but also from the outside right . So we know all this .

Unfortunately , the church , just like our government institutions and all the other institutions , are made up of men and women , right , made up of people that need to be redeemed . We know that .

But at the end of the day , sister Lucia writes this long letter , but within that she said the last great battle between our Lord and Satan is going to be over marriage and the family . And Father , you're right on . Maybe you could talk a little bit about what you're seeing out there today , just because you're a pastor of a congregation here .

You're not just the head of this organization . You're seeing this and I'm sure you're hearing it in the confessional . There's a real attack and people need to be aware that when they were born , we didn't come into a neutral ground , did we ? Father , you know our freedom .

If we're not careful , our freedom will be taken away , and we do , we destroy our own lives , don't we ?

Well , the most real world of all is the one that lasts forever , and that's the supernatural world from whence we came , and we're supernatural beings with physical bodies that , ultimately , were destined to have a glorified body .

So we're always meant to be embodied , which is something another whole discussion , right , we're always meant to be embodied , which is something another whole discussion , right .

But nevertheless , as you're saying , what I see as a pastor is , again , the fallen human nature is always there and weakness and people make mistakes in relationships and what you want to do . When I sit down with an engaged couple and have the first substantive conversation , I said let me take a wild guess .

This is just a wild guess , but you want to have an incredibly great marriage . Oh , yes , we do , we do . I said , all right , what are the ingredients to a great marriage ?

And then we just kind of go from there , but understanding always that if you put Christ first and understand that , you are going to have ups and downs , and so how do I anticipate them and how do I prepare them for them ? You prepare them most with that surrender to Christ and that's what's going to enable us . Because , in the end , what the old classic ?

The world of flesh and the devil . So I have my own selfishness that I'm struggling with all my life . Number one . Number two that the world will tell you at a moment of difficulty in a relationship , it's so easy to get a divorce . And guess what ? Look at those TV shows . And the children are doing fine after the divorce , which is a lie .

Children are traumatized .

If you don't want to believe me , then just believe . Unfortunately , the consequences , the sociology Since the 60s abortion has skyrocketed , Divorce has skyrocketed , Social diseases , children being born , Contraception was supposed to solve those problems . It exacerbated them , it metastasized those problems .

And it shows you that when we rebel against God , it's not that God is afflicting us , it's that God was trying to protect us from the consequences , because we need no further proof of God's infinite love but his death on the cross and his resurrection , his willingness to forgive us a thousand times over . Right and so .

But yeah , so the key is helping people to understand what real relationship , first and foremost , begins with God and your relationship with God . Putting him first constantly . That's the greatest gift you can give your children and know that you have a target on your back .

The more and more you wanna be faithful to Christ , the bigger the target is on your back and hell wants to bring you down .

Father , you know , as we get into our last five , 10 minutes here , can you speak to those wounds ? Because I want to make a point with people that you didn't choose this and we know that . We know that most of these young people did not choose my brother did not choose to be attracted to same-sex attraction . He said to me one time .

He said , jack , you think I would choose this , right , so we know that . But there's usually a wound , it's usually for a man , it's a father wound , right , it's some separation , it's emotional or physical separation , or even abuse , you know .

So there could be a lot of things going on there , but at the end of the day , I think that's really important to bring up , because sometimes then we use our emotions , we get away from our reason , natural law , right . We get away from our reason , our intellect , and we use our free will , we think , because I'm feeling like I need to feel that .

So I detach from my father , say in a way , right , it's a defensive mechanism , maybe , or as a way to protect myself from being hurt , but now I want to feel that right , I want that relationship . The problem is , father , when it gets twisted , we think it's a sexualization . I speak to people about this all the time because they ask me .

They say , jack , after your talk today , maybe I'm not gay . You know what I mean . It's the first time they heard maybe they're not gay . So can you talk in our last few minutes here , father , about that ? We have some wounds , but what we're talking about here is not to sexualize them .

That's where the problem comes in Actually get a chance to heal , to really heal .

He goes , lord , make me chase , but not yet . And so he wanted to indulge , but he knew it was wrong , he knew it was a dead end , but he didn't want to give it up . And that's the struggle of every single human being . There's something in me that I don't want to give up , but I know I really should .

And then freedom awaits me , although I have to pass through that kind of that mourning stage of detaching myself from that sin or that selfish inclination , and so , yeah , so the deep , you know the original wound , of course , is the original sin , and then there's a subjectivity that goes with that right . So we'll all suffer from some kind of you know .

That's why our Lord says you know , don't judge . In the sense that a mom and dad judges the actions of their children . They have to correct them . That's legitimate and actually morally demanding .

But we can't judge the inner sanctum of the human art because we don't know that exact position of that person with Almighty God , and when people and this is where modern psychology , as long as it subordinates itself to God , can be very effective , and that is that people have compulsions , people have difficulties , and so the culpability of the person can be very ,

very different , even though someone may commit the same action . The church has nothing but great compassion . The fundamental drive is the salvation of souls , and God number one loves everyone , absolutely no matter who they are . There's no one God loves less . There's no one God forsakes .

There's no one God rejects in this life whatsoever , and there's no one God didn't die for's . No one God forsakes . There's no one God rejects in this life whatsoever , and there's no one God didn't die for on the cross and wants to heal , and there's no one that God holds any kind of people we hold grudges . God doesn't hold a grudge .

He will wash away your sins , and so the one person you can always count on keeping their promises is Jesus Christ , our Lord . Your friends may abandon you , but then they weren't your friends in the first place . True spiritual friendship is one who's looking out for your salvation and wants to be there for you , no matter what .

I always remember one story of Benedict Groeschel when he talks about how a young man , probably in his 20s , just kind of closed himself off in conversation to him and he was going to just descend into the same-sex culture in New York . So this is probably back in the 80s . And Benedict Cushel just told him look , you're not hearing me .

I can tell he goes , but I love you very much and that door is open . I want you to come back and continue to talk to me , but what you're doing is not going to make you happy . And so he was very firm about the truth , but he was also very firm about his unconditional love for that young man . And that's holy mother church .

You know that there is no . So don't be afraid and and beware of the caricatures that the secular society tries to cast on the church . The church wants to deny you pleasure . It wants to deny you happiness . Nothing could be further from the truth . You know , because we know in the end there's pleasure and joy .

Thomas aquinas does a beautiful job with this but there's the immediate pleasure of an instant which could be fine , like I'm celebrating a birthday , I'm celebrating Easter Sunday , we have a banquet , that's great . But then joy is something far more deeper and actually I find a joy in fasting for the Lord .

I find the mother and father don't want to get out of bed at 3 am and hold the crying baby . I just want one good night's sleep . Get up and it's a sacrifice and it's not pleasurable , but it's something of great joy and I want to bring comfort to my child . So , in sacrifice for God , you're going and the devil doesn't want .

It's like you've mined and mined , you crummy rock and then you hit the mother load and you hit the gold and I suddenly find a joy in self-sacrificing and self-giving to God and that's what the devil does not want you to discover and that's what our Lord is ready to unleash with you in spades .

But you know , and always remember , that our emotions deceive us , but God will never deceive us . And so we go through difficult times and we get depressed . Some people even suffer from depression , but that's not anyway an indicator of your relationship with God whatsoever .

The indicator of our relationship with God is the words of Christ I am with you always , until the end of the world .

He wants to twist and distort who we are , our sexuality , any way he can to distort it . And we have to realize that , don't we , father ? Because when we try to stand up , we need prayer , the sacraments , and like courage , and a parish , a good parish . We need community . We need prayer , the sacraments and like courage .

In a parish , a good parish , we need community . We need community because this battle's not going to be easy , but if we understand it , then we can fight it , father , can't we ? If we understand that we're in a battle , I think we can fight it .

Yes , I have to say yes .

So now during my day , I will be tempted if I'm trying to be good , right to do the good . But now every temptation is an invitation to prayer . If you remember that , you'll be praying all day , father . And the last thing I tell people just go love the next person . You see , that's all Go love the next person .

The church is not going to like you , but no , that's where you're going to find the most authentic and most supportive love of all . So self-loathing is just a sign that we're going down the wrong way , but that Christ's love is the answer to that and not the path of the world , because that'll just make us more angry at ourselves .

Actually , through his Son , jesus Christ , I can be filled with the Holy Spirit , filled with God's love , right of the very Father , my Creator himself . And it's true , I know it in my heart and I can tell the way you're speaking right now , father . You know that yourself too , don't you ?