#462 The Sacred Romance: Embracing the Sacred in Nature, Love, Beauty and Longing

I was in Anchorage , alaska , and I was doing a parish mission up there . I was and I also was giving a talk on moral relativism and I extended out a little bit because they wanted me to do a two-day women's retreat for the , for the Catholic women in the city of Anchorage , alaska . So I was excited about that .

The retreat house was a large lodge in the mountains , not too far , about an hour and a half or so , I think it was out of Anchorage , alaska . And when we got there it was a really cool looking place with the windows around , big windows looking out into nature , you know , crackling fireplace etc .

And when I got there they said , jack , you know there's room for you here in the lodge where everybody else is staying , or we have a speaker's cabin , a small cabin out on the lake , and I said that sounds interesting , let me take a look at that .

So I took the keys , went down , it was maybe a quarter of a mile away and it went down through the forest and then out on this lake and it was gorgeous . It was just a small one-room cabin but it was perfect for me with desk and you know desk and a table and etc . Etc . Very simple and it was beautiful . It was around .

It was with a snow-capped mountains , very rugged looking mountains , pristine forest , wild animals , moose grizzly up there , wolves , bald eagles , and you know it's just gorgeous . And I'm an old backpacker and a nature guy . And so I come back up to the main lodge and I said , yeah , I'm going to stay there . That's awesome .

And I was going to do a series now as a retreat master .

You're going to do a series of talks and so you have plenty of time to get in some really deep things , to really get people's heart unified with with God , and so I give a talk in the morning and then the afternoon I go down to the cabin and I was going to go inside and I look back and it was just gorgeous .

This lake was gorgeous and it reminded me that small b beauty of nature , like sacramental . All of nature is a sacramental sign . Small b beauty of nature . When you dwell on it , when you meditate it , when you sit in it , it lifts you up . It's just a reflection . God created things to be a reflection of something of himself .

And as I was mesmerized by this beauty , I sat there and it would brought me back to this time when I was in high school . When I was in high school , I was a junior in high school . A little bit of a confusing time . In high school the sexual revolution was in full bloom . I really did like nature Even back then .

I used to take some long walks and stuff on on some trails close to our house . I had done a little backpacking already and by that time , by the time , I was a junior and anyways , I kind of set this up . So , small b beauty of nature , bringing you into big b beauty settles the heart , brings you up into God himself .

I'm at a party and I was there with a beautiful young woman .

Her name was Marlene it might be real main name might not be and while we were there we found a room , an empty room in the house , and so we got pretty passionate and during this passion I realized that this young woman , a virgin , would want to give herself or was willing to give herself to me at that time .

And you know you get caught up in the moment , and so we're kind of passionate and I and I kissed her and at one point I lift back and I open up my eyes and I look at this woman and I see her face . Her face was glowing , it was , it was something it was , it was hard to explain , was just glowing . This beauty was just glowing .

And I look down to the rest of her body and it's just glowing , something mesmerizing almost , and it just stopped me in my tracks what I saw there and the grace that I received there . And it's happened since , you know , just to see the beauty of a woman in general .

It's , you see , this , this , the mystery and beauty of a person , almost of their soul , filled with God inside . You know , you can just see that this is not a body done , not like an object , not body parts . There's something glorious and powerful in that was just glowing off of her .

So , anyways , I stopped , I pulled back , I was , I was in a different world than her at that moment . I just was mesmerized , I was lifted almost into a different place and she was still very passionate and I was not a good communicator in those days .

I didn't have John Paul , I hadn't studied them yet , I didn't have his vocabulary , and she said you know what's wrong ? You know you don't like me , you don't like this , you don't think I'm beautiful , and it was all of those things . It was the opposite . I was mesmerized by her beauty , but I just had a hard time dealing with words .

We almost got into a little , you know , like an argument . You know , like you know you don't care for me , blah , blah , blah , blah . So , anyways , we go back to the , we go back downstairs . There's no way I was going to move ahead here . I mean , I didn't know what was going on , but there was a line that I wasn't going to to cross .

It was too powerful , too beautiful , and I wasn't ready for that . And I knew that . And so , anyways , after , after my junior year in high school , I decided to go out West .

I decided to take an extended trip out West , see what it's like in the Rockies , maybe even make it to the ocean in California , and just see if I could make sense out of this crazy world . And I and I left home for a while , was talk back to to . It was talk back into coming home and back to Illinois and finishing high school probably a good idea .

My senior year , the very day I graduated , I had my car packed up , I was ready to go . I didn't even wait for that evening I got in the car and I left and I moved to Denver , colorado . I knew somebody in Denver and I thought that would be a good start and and I'd stay there for a while , then maybe go to California .

I was doing a lot of backpacking in those days and I just love to be out there .

You know , one time I remember being in the back country of the Rocky Mountains following a steeped animal trail through the trees and the brush , and tell I came to a clearing just above the tree line and as I was there , it was hot and I just remember it was a pretty arduous journey , you know , pretty tough .

You know , if you've got 40 , 50 pounds on your back going up an animal trail which isn't just like a little paved trail , you have to really watch where you're going . Of course there's snakes , different things up there and wildlife up there you gotta watch for . And just getting a little tired and as I was getting tired .

I spotted a short distance away up the mountain . A little clearing came and I spotted a lone tree standing up what I hoped to be the top of the mountain , because it started to thin out . You get above tree line and so I said , wow , that might be the top of this mountain .

So I headed up toward it and once there I just stood in awe and wonder of the scene before me . Across from where I was was a valley dipping down below me and that up on the other side rose a stunning snow cap mountain , even higher than the one I was on , and cascading down from its summit , looking like liquid silver , glistening in the sun .

Just the way the sun was hitting . It was a waterfall dropping thousands of feet below and the songs of birds were everywhere . And as I was listening to the water and then the birds , now it focused my attention and I saw just below me all the bees and the butterflies were moving among the wildflowers and this beauty just in full bloom .

And then , perhaps a thousand feet below them , was a herd of elk and the calves were running and jumping , while the adults grazed nearby . Stunned by all this , I took off my backpack and I sat down against the tree to take it all in . It wasn't long , perhaps a few minutes , when I sensed that the beauty of the scene before me was drawing me in .

I began to experience then , a deep ache within me that moved up and almost seemed to be in my heart , and that ache was this desire to share the beauty before me . And I began to imagine Marlene sitting in front of me , my arms around her .

No loss , no selfishness , no wanting to use , just to have my arms around here , and she's leaning back into me , becoming one with her beauty and the beauty of the scene before me . It lifts your heart up .

My good friend CS Lewis describes it like this we want so much more , something the books on aesthetics take little notice of , but the poets and the mythologies know all about it . We do not want to merely see beauty , though God knows , even that is bounty enough .

We want something else which can hardly be put into words to be united with the beauty we see , to pass into it , to receive it into ourselves , to bathe in it and to become part of it . Today we wanna talk about that desire . You know this is not trivial desire , some superficial want .

This is about the atomic energy of our souls and put into the human soul that universal ache and longing we feel deep in our hearts for something more . And where is this hunger for something more coming from ? Why do we have it ? What are we supposed to do with it ? More important , is there anything to fill it ?

Does that something more that we're looking for even exist in this world ? Is there any hope for finding it ? In short , is there any hope that we can satisfy our deepest desire for happiness and love that brings lasting fulfillment ? Or is this world just a bait and switch ?

When you see so many unhappy marriages or relationships that never feel like they fully fulfilled you , I could tell you story after story about that , but I'm not gonna take the time today . People that come to me after talks and just say you know my husband's not doing it for me , my wife's not doing it for me , but you know what ?

They never were supposed to completely satisfy you , no matter what your situation are , you know human beings have discarded their , pushed away their passions and desires , or pushed away God , the source of those passions and desires .

So we live like cut flowers , disconnected from our roots and our story , but yet something inside of our hearts , this burning , yearning , desire for something more , exists among all the people that I know . The Greek philosopher , plato , called this interior flame Eros . Eros is the Greek God of love and was identified by by the Romans .

Remember the little guy , the angel With the arrow ? We called him . What they called him , I should say Cupid . It's from the Latin word coupier to desire . The human yearning we're exploring today can certainly be experienced as a kind of arrow that wounds that heart , making a bleed in a desperate search for satisfaction and fulfillment .

That's what I was experiencing there , with my back against a tree , be a little bee beauty , lifting me up into big bee beauty , into the infinite , this infinite source of love himself , into God . And then to think about Marlene in front of me , it's like bee plus beauty .

You know , I mean just this transcendent power of union and communion with another person that you care about and you love , and then to share this beauty before you . It's almost too much for your heart to take .

But Eros now in general , the way Plato talked about it , shouldn't be limited merely to romantic love or sexual desire , though it certainly has connotations to that effect . But Plato described Eros as a longing for all . Listen to this True , all that's good , all that's beautiful and of course that includes love .

The sad thing is , most of us don't know where to direct that fire inside , so we end up getting burned and burning others , and when that happens , the temptation is to blame the ache itself . We want to squelch it somehow , to snuff it out . That's what happens in just too many Christian ideas about this is to say I got to push that desire down .

You know , like a married woman who sees another man and feels something within her heart and says , oh , what is that ? Rekindling ? And the opposite . You know , a man that's . You know , I talk about this a lot going down the aisle of Jewel or Costco and you see this woman and , oh , you know , it does something to you .

And so that we have this John Paul would say this perennial call of masculinity to femininity . Well , it all reminds you that we're created a Mongol day in the image and likeness of God himself . If we understand these burning desires , we're , they're not made to squelch it , to squelch down .

And even if you try , there's no escape from the burning desire within us for all that's true , all that's good and all that's beautiful , and each of us lives with this unextinguishable expectation that life is supposed to make sense and supposed to satisfy us deeply .

Even the most jaded atheist feels cheated if he doesn't experience meaning , purpose and peace and a word happiness in this life . But just where does this universal expectation for personal fulfillment come from ? It isn't something we dream up or manufacture on our own . Rather , the burning yearning for what is real is incorporated into our design .

This burning can lead either to the torment of pain or the torrent of love . It will either consume us or it will consummate us . The yearning of heroes that we are incomplete and that we were in search of another to make sense of ourselves .

And and although that yearning originates deep within our souls we talk about it as in our hearts , it's also manifested in our bodies . Our very bodies tell the story of incompleteness , more specifically , those parts of our bodies that distinguish us , distinguish us as male and female . So I take you back to that scene , with my back against a tree , looking out .

My initial reaction to that ache that welled up into my heart had me imagining Marlene , and then moved on to the impulse to get up . Leave the beauty of the scene before me , hike back down the mountain . Maybe I would drive to the city and seek or find someone that my heart was aching for , someone to fill that ache . Isn't this a common reaction ?

We sense beauty , we desire it . Then we go out and grasp for ways to fill the ache . We seek a person or some material object or activity to fill that ache , and if that doesn't work , we numb it by browsing through Instagram or Facebook or the medicine cabinet . This lent . I suggest another way to stay in that ache .

Look for opportunities to enter into silence , then . So find a place to gaze up . Allow your heart to be pierced by beauty . Gaze out at the sunset or up at the stars at night . Take a walk in the woods or imagine the most beautiful place you've ever been . Read scripture , let it touch your heart and be still for 10 minutes .

Then don't look for other ways to fill the ache , but invite him , god , who desires to fill your heart , to enter . As I sat a while longer , my back against that tree , I slowly let go and slowly stopped grasping , taking a deep breath . I closed my eyes , I opened my heart . Into the ache .

He came Love and beauty himself , bringing with him a deep sense of presence and peace . This lent allow yourself to stay in the ache . What I'm suggesting here is something very , very powerful . I work with a number of , or I have worked with a number of , young people who have been addicted to pornography and other things .

Let's take an example of a young guy that's addicted to struggling with pornography . In this two-dimensional world , take out God . Take out what we're describing here as small b beauty , lifting you up to the source of all that beauty , all that's true , good and beautiful , and filling your heart . Let's exclude that . Let's push God out .

This is what's happened to the world today . So we live in a two-dimensional space , then a horizontal space , let's call it . And what happens ? These young guys that hear a talk that I do and they'll open up I talk to priests all the time that hear this in the confessional .

These poor guys are struggling , struggling and they want to get out of this addiction . So what are they trying to do ? Push it down , push it down , push it down . Don't look at that , don't think about that . Well , what happens ? It's called the starvation diet and after a little while , what happens ? You get really hungry .

And these powers , these passions , these arrows that we're talking about . You know you can't just push these down . What happens then ? You know the culture again is there . Hey , come here . I know what you need and it's called the fast food diet .

And the marketers and the psychiatrists and the psychologists and the therapists and everybody they know your feelings and emotions more than you do . You know the professional marketers of the world . They know how to push your buttons , don't they ? The social media people know how to push your buttons , so they pull you into a fast food diet .

So you go from trying to starve yourself , or at least pushing it down , trying to be good , to indulging , trying to be good to indulging , and you go back and forth and into this addiction . So what we're suggesting here is to see it in three dimensions , to say those desires , and 3D .

Those desires have been put there by design to actually lead you to your destiny . Don't be afraid of your yearning , burning desires . God gave those to you . The problem is we're trying to snuff them out and we indulge them instead of opening those great desires to the one who put them there , and are calling you into a larger story , what I'm describing here .

The saints and the mystics knew all about this . There is a book called the Song of Songs , erotic Love Poetry , right in smack in the middle of the Bible and of that small book . The saints and the mystics wrote more commentary on that book than all of the other ones combined . And it's this romance , it's this erotic love between a man and a woman .

But what they understood is it gave them the vocabulary to express how they felt in their relationship with God . There's a part in there , a line in there , that goes like this Song of Songs , chapter 4 , verse 9 , you have ravished my heart , my sister , my bride . You have ravished my heart with one glance of your eyes , my sister , my bride , so powerful .

Why does this man that's just enamored with and in just this eros he could just feel it oozing out and he's pursuing a woman and he calls her my sister , my bride ? Why does he call her sister first ? How would we react to our sister when a boy comes the first time ?

I remember my son has two sisters , one on each side of him , and he was very protective when some boy came over . He wanted to make sure that they knew that if anything happened they'd have to talk to him . We want to protect our sisters .

At the end of the day , what we have to protect the women in our life from so often is ourselves , our own lust , our own selfishness . What he's doing is he's calling her sister first .

He says there's a common heritage , that we have a common father , we come from a common creator and that , first of all , I'm going to call you sister , I'm going to protect you , I'm going to sacrifice for you , I'm going to get to know you as a friend and someone we could laugh with , etc .

And only then , only then , will we enter into being my bride , right where I will take you for my bride Such a beautiful way . Saint Augustine now . Saint Augustine , he was a passionate guy . He was a worldly , worldly young man , very bright , but he was passionate .

He really struggled with lust and selfishness , but especially lust for , for women , and he never did marry the woman that he lived with for 15 years . His only son was born out of wedlock . And so he hears Ambrose , saint Ambrose preaching at one time in a , in a city that he's in , and something touches his heart . So what is that ? What is that ?

He would go back over and over again , and then Saint Ambrose brings him into the church . He finally understands what that yearning , burning desire is all about . And he goes on to write that famous line to fall in love with God as the greatest romance . To seek Him , the greatest adventure , to find Him , the greatest achievement . See , god loves romance .

He created it . Sunsets , flowers , music , a kiss , all his idea . God is a lover who calls you into eternal love . He pursues you to the ends of the earth , seeking an intimacy with you . That seems too good to be true , but that is exactly the church's astounding claim and proposal to the world . It was fascinating when I came back into the church .

I was gone for quite a while and one of the first things I do is I'm reading the first chapter of the Gospel of John , so John , chapter one , and then there are the first words that we hear Jesus . Let me just take you into the story a little bit and talk about the first words . We hear Jesus when he comes into his ministry .

So John the Baptist is baptizing , and he's baptizing in a place called Bethany and , as it's described in the Bible , it's just beyond the Jordan and he's baptizing there with a couple of his own disciples . One day he saw Jesus coming toward him and he said Behold the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world , and this is with an exclamation mark .

This is he who , of whom I said , after me comes a man who ranks before me , for he was before me . I Myself did not know him , but for this I came baptizing with water that he might be revealed to Israel , and John bore witness . I saw the Spirit descend on him . So this is , this is when John . So Jesus comes and he has to be baptized .

And John's Born witness . I saw the Spirit , the Holy Spirit , descend as a dove from heaven and remain on him . I myself did not know him , but he who sent me to baptize with water said to me he , on the one whom you see in the Spirit capital S to send and remain . This is he who baptized with the Holy Spirit .

And John says and I have seen and born witness that this is the Son of God . Again , he's baptizing in Bethany , near the Jordan , and he looks up and he sees Jesus and he says I do not know him . Well , he was , jesus , was a cousin of his , so if he course he knew him personally , he didn't know who he was as the Messiah until then .

And it dawns on him and he sees this and he says the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world .

The next day , john was standing with two of his disciples , who we've come to know as John the evangelist , the one it actually wrote the book of John , the letters of John , and we have Andrew , who is Peter's brother , and so these are John the Baptist disciples first . And so , anyways , he looks up and he sees Jesus coming down toward the Jordan .

Again , he says the Lamb of God , who takes away the sins of the world . And what happens is the two disciples that were with John the Baptist they stay . They heard John say this and they follow Jesus . Jesus turned and saw them following and said to them listen to this , listen to this . What do you seek , what do you seek ?

And they said to him rabbi , which means teacher , where are you staying ? And he said to them come and see , come and see . And we hear it . A little bit later John writes down and it was about the 10 o'clock hour , it was about 4 o'clock in the afternoon . He's an eyewitness to this . He puts those details in . So , again , what is ? What is Jesus saying ?

What do you seek ? Why are you ? Why are you following ? What is your heart burning for ? You seek what's true , what's good and beautiful . It's innate in you , so Jesus knows this . This is why Jesus is so confident when he turns to them . He knows our hearts . You know why ? Because you flow from his heart .

Created in the amalgam day , created in the image and likeness of God , this is God's heart , god who pursues you to the ends of the earth , seeking an intimacy with With you .

It sounds too good to be true , but this is , this is the very logic of our faith A man born of a woman who steps into the story , the eternal bridegroom , to come search for you , to bring you back into this story . This isn't our DNA .

This is why I told you the story of when I was a junior in high school and a little beyond that , because I knew this already within me that I was searching for what's true , what's good , what's beautiful . How do I make sense out of this and asking those big questions already ? And you know who am I what is the meaning of purpose of my life ?

Why were we created male and female ? How do I find happiness and joy and peace here on earth ? How do I find love that satisfies forever . These are questions that are perennial . You know , it's st Augustine felt like this . St Teresa of Avila , st John of the cross .

You know , all through history we have people , these , these , these powerful Forces moving the human heart up , up , up . Somehow we've silenced that today , haven't we ? Somehow we've rejected God as it through technology and and noise all the time .

And you know this , the so-called modern world that gives you these little dopamine fixes all the time and we stopped searching for these Deeper answers . So , this lent , open your heart . Open your heart and allow him in , allow him to bring answers , because he is the answer . What do you seek ? Come and see , come and see what , come and see me .

Jesus says All right , that's enough for today , that we could go on and on with this , and I will . Actually . The next session I'm going to pick up next Monday , I'm going to pick up on this . It's just so beautiful and powerful , and I'll talk to you about some of the saints and the mystics that are bringing this deeper into the story .

But for now , let me leave you with those three things that I that I speak about often . It's so important for lent . First of all , before you look at those phones in the morning . Just drop to your knees and say what ? Say let it be done to me according to your will , let it be done to me according to your word .

Picture yourself at the annunciation , kneeling there with our blessed mother , who didn't know exactly what was going on . I have not been with a man . She said how , how am I going to carry the son of of god ? And she said you know ? He said the holy spirit will come over you . And she said let it be done to me according to your word .

So , so , this is what we're doing . We're just opening our hearts up . You know , mary's yes was so profound , so open , so pure , that she was literally impregnated with God .

This is what we're called to do to to get to this point where we open ourselves up and allow God just to come in and impregnate us with God , you know , in a spiritual impregnation , of course , but we are filled with the holy spirit . We become temples of the holy spirit . Second thing is you're going to be tempted , and temptations not a sin .

Jesus himself was tempted 40 days in the desert , right when he came into his ministry . So here's , here's the whole thing . When you feel a temptation , use it as an invitation to prayer . If you do that , if you allow , if you're not afraid , don't try to push it down and don't indulge . Open those up . This is what we're talking about . Open those up .

Understand in three dimensions that those great desires have been put there by design . It to our hearts to lead us to Our destiny , what we live in ? A fallen world . It's not all your fault . You know the image of us . You were looking at pornography and the images are coming up . It's going to be very hard to clear your head .

Open those up , don't be afraid to open those up to God . God knows they're there . You know they're there . You're just going to have to continue to open up . But you may be praying a hundred times a day and that's okay . It's lifting you . So when you , when you see the beauty outside , you're lifting and say thank you .

When you have the Temptations and the distortions , you're also lifting them up and saying redeem me , save me , bring me into your heart . So that's number two . I'm going to add to that number two . I'm going to add fasting now on mortification . This is what the saints and the mystics always talk about Detaching .

Detaching so that we can just be filled with this grace . This is what lent is all about . You're gonna hear a lot about fasting , for you can fast from food . Also , mortifications you can fast from . You know , say , say , social media , anything that's that's . You become addicted to that .

You need to get out of the way Anything that's a barrier between you and this . This power of this grace that's gonna come in . You know , jesus didn't come in just to manage your sins . He came in with power .

But in order to receive that power , that grace , to become one with that power , you're gonna have to push other things aside and open up the time for that . So beautiful , though very , very important to do . Okay , number three . So we've received now that grace . We , you know , at number one , with the prayer We've , we've opened this up to God .

We say , yes , come into my heart . You know , if you ask him , ask , seek , knock , and then Temptations are gonna come . You know Satan doesn't want you to do this . Temptations are gonna come . You're gonna offer those up to to God and not be afraid of them . Open them up and over time it's gonna take time , it's gonna be a battle .

It took you a while to get here . Probably you're gonna take your while to get out , fasting and mortification . So now we're filled , even that , but not perfectly filled . Don't wait till you're perfectly filled , because this , this third step , is going to be part of this whole process to get you into healing . And what is that third step ?

That third step Is to go out . Now I receive , now I go out , I have to become that person of love . I have to be , I have to proclaim the gospel . I have to go out and be kind to the next person . I see , you know , I have to go out and and and . When I walk down , say , the stairs my studio is upstairs I walk downstairs and I see my wife .

I want to say something kind to her . Honey , you're beautiful , you know , speak from the heart , do good things out in the world and then , you know , give some money away . This is a time for alms to give away . Alms detach from money . You know . You know God will . He knows what you need .

You know , it's in scripture , over and over again , your , your heavenly father , jesus , says he knows what you need and he will provide those things for you . Last thing I'll just say and it all this all hooks together is St John of the cross would say you know , we have wisdom , we were seeking wisdom in this time to live .

And so you become a person of love that's what we're describing here to be filled with with God himself , who is love . And they go out and become a loving person number one for John of the cross . And then silence , and that gets back to prayer again .

In order to get to this point , you're gonna have to be a prayerful person and sitting silence , because this is that connection between you and God . He's gonna fill you up and again he would say mortification is the third thing .

You have to fast , you have to go , you know you have to put yourself through where you detach from all of the craziness in this world that always wants to take your time . Take your time and Drag your your head someplace else .

When you go outside and you see the stars and and you allow your heart to go up , you know if you are walking around with that phone and all you do is connect to all your messages and stuff , actually missing this Opportunity to connect with God himself and find that joy and joy and peace and meaning that we're all looking for and that Experience of God

himself . Hey , god bless you Talk to you soon , everybody , bye , bye you .