#432 I Believe In Love...A Letter to Danny

She said I just read Jack Rigert's latest article on the destruction of the family and I read his bio where he says that he had a dramatic encounter with Jesus Christ at his brother's bedside and then again at his funeral . It's a possible to send me info or an article detailing these encounters he had ?

I tried to look it up on YouTube but I couldn't find it . I'd love to read about his encounters , thank you . Well , I actually sat down and I wrote a letter to Danny . I believe in love . That encapsulates just the highlights of this encounter . You know , so much happened during this encounter with God .

It's amazing , and God wants to encounter all of us in this life . I'm nothing special , that's for sure , and so these encounters are something we can expect . You know , god wants to break into our lives and he has a plan for us , and so I sat down and I wrote this letter out today .

I'm going to read it and again , thank you , lisa , for pushing me to do this . I realized that I've told this story many , many times at parish missions and other venues , usually winding it into other stories .

But this time I'm going to do it as a standalone project and maybe I'll continue this later on , because this really led into a way and it really an adventure , an adventure with God . So God bless you . Thanks , lisa , buckle up and get ready for today's episode . I believe in love . A letter to Danny .

Dear Danny , I found a picture of you and I from Christmas Day 1971 . I was 14 year old , his brother . Out of five of us , you were number four and at that time you were only five years old . In it we're sitting on the floor playing what looks like a new game , with our Christmas tree Stunning , as it always was , all lit up behind us .

I remember the year really well because my arm is in the sling in the picture . I had had surgery from a sports injury . In the picture I was looking down at the game , but you were looking up at me and your eyes and your smile at me . And again , when I look at this picture . I just see this .

You're revealing your heart , as you always did so , full of affection and joy , looking at your older brother , huh . That picture somehow has become etched in my memory . My own heart aches as I try to recapture that moment and time , but I can't remember anything else about it , you know . Did we talk ? Did we laugh ? Did I return your affection and smile ?

I hope I did . You were a beautiful child , and as the years went by , you're a good looks , thick head of dark brown here . You're intelligent . You're eager , warm smile . Those became your trademarks .

Your best feature , though , was your huge , trusting heart that was open to everyone , especially if they were a bit down or needed a friend , you were always ready to listen . Do you remember how excited you were to be an altar boy at our parish Then ?

Then came the sexual abuse that you would experience at the hands of our pastor there , unbeknownst to the rest of us , he gained your trust and affection . He groomed you for many months , and then he robbed you of your innocence . We would not learn of this very dark period of your life until you were in drug rehab and it contracted HIV AIDS .

I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you . Perhaps if I had taken more time to look down and see into your eyes , to see that they weren't as bright as they once had been , or your smile was not as quick or as often as before . But by the time you were being abused , I had already moved away Just four years from that picture , at 18 , I was gone .

You were just nine , going on , 10 years old . I guess we get too busy with our own lives , I guess For that my stomach still feels ill to today . I have since met many young men and women who were sexually abused as children .

You know , danny , today in our nation there are 60 million adults One in four girls , one in six boys who were sexually abused as children . A staggering number of the walking wounded . Many , I mean , are almost too ashamed to share their stories . How many of them carry this burden alone , like you did for so long ? Today , I look at faces .

Sometimes I could see it in their eyes . As fate would have it , though , through drug rehab and your HIV diagnosis , you came back into the church that seemed to portray you .

This time you found a faithful priest and a community that would be there for you as you grew too weak to attend mass , this humble priest from your parish in Orlando , florida , would come and bring the Eucharist and hear your confession .

Leaving your room one day after such a visit , the priest turned to Mom , who was there helping you as you got sicker and sicker . And he said to Mom there's a little saint in the making in that room . You had found your way back and soon you would lead me back too . You know , I never told you about the time .

That same time that priest left your room , I was kneeling in prayer , about 1200 miles away . You see how we were struggling in our marriage , jeannie and I , and it seemed like there was no hope to save this crumbling marriage . And with three young children in my back against the wall , I knelt in prayer for the first time in 20 years .

I said God , do you have a plan for my life ? You know , looking back at this , I think God must have smiled at me and said yes , jack , I have a plan for your life , only you're not following it very well . When I got up from my knees , the phone was ringing .

It was Mom calling from Orlando to tell us that you were no longer responsive and your organs were shutting down Miraculously . All four of your brothers made it to the airport and boarded the plane to Orlando with seconds to spare .

I was the first one through your door when we got to your house and I passed two hospice people on my right in the kitchen who said thank goodness , his brothers are here . Danny's still alive . They told us that you were unresponsive but we could go see you and that you were on the couch in the next room .

Then the unexpected Only minutes after you heard our voices , I looked down and I saw the tendons in your neck began to strain and what seemed like a tremendous internal battle going on within you , one eyelid opened , just ever so slightly . I touched your arm and I said Danny , you can hear us , can't you ? We're all here .

Then , both of your eyes open , your head came up slightly and we helped you sit up just a little bit and you seemed to be looking past me at someone or something in the corner of the room behind me and then you said let's pray together . Your mouth was really dry and I wanted to make sure I said . What , danny , did you say ? Let's pray together ?

Yes , yes . You replied very clearly Pray to God . You laid back down and closing your eyes and no longer straining for breath like you did before , became very peaceful . You didn't attempt to pray with us , you laid back and I understood that this moment was for our sakes and that you were the messenger . What had you seen ? What had you experienced ?

Something between this temporal space and the kingdom of heaven . But anyways , you strained to make your way back . Didn't you Visit us one more time ?

So , with you laying back , I fell back on my knees and , with my brothers , with our brothers , a cousin , a handful of your friends looking on , I tried to pray , but nothing would come out and , awkwardly , I tried again Nothing .

Then the words of a prayer that I had learned as a child began to flow out and we all prayed together in that room Our Father , who art in heaven , hallowed be thy name . Thy kingdom come . Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven .

Give us this day our daily bread , and forgive us our trespasses , as we forgive those who trespass against us , and lead us not into temptation , but deliver us from evil . Amen , of course , the prayer that Jesus himself taught us to pray , this is the prayer that you came back .

Huh , the Holy Spirit wasn't going to allow us to say any prayer , he's going to say the prayer . Huh , danny , your eyes , which had been opening and closing just slightly while we prayed , let us know that you were still with us .

And then I felt that whatever you were looking at in the corner of the room was pressing in on us , pressing in on my back , especially A presence that , while there , it was an encounter with a thickness almost palpable . But this presence was consoling , it was bringing peace .

I was thinking to myself wow , whatever that was , that presence that worked when another prayer came to mind . But would I remember the words I started Hail Mary , full of grace . The Lord is with thee . Blessed art thou among women , and blessed is the fruit of thy womb , jesus .

Holy Mary , mother of God , pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death , amen . It was during those final words pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death , amen . That I knew that that presence in the room was God . That evening before you passed away , on September 20th 1995 , I sat in your kitchen with a pad and a pen .

I was going to try to put into words what had happened only hours before . Among many other things , I wrote this . Daniel lay very still while we prayed , his eyes opening and closing just slightly as a sign that he was with us . Danny asked us to pray . What a parting gift and what is a divine mystery .

Of course , I believe that the Holy Spirit was asked by Danny , while he was departing this temporal world , to arrange one last visit with his brothers so that he could leave us a simple and profound message let's pray to God .

This led to an encounter with Christ that would put me on a path where he would answer my initial question from days before Huh , god , do you have a plan for my life ? You wanted to be cremated , didn't you ? And so mom went over to the church and a memorial mass was scheduled in the chapel of your parish . That was in 1995 .

Well before cell phones and social media , and since we were operating on short notice before we had to fly back to Chicago , your brothers and I , we assumed that the hundred seats in the chapel would be plenty . It was not . Over 200 people came that morning .

Your coworkers , neighbors , your friends poured in , and then came the doctor and the nurses and this whole staff of 20 . They had been treating you . Many others came , so many of them , strangers to us , shared stories about the impact you had on their lives . You had touched so many .

I was allowed to speak at the memorial mass to people I had never met and relate a couple of stories and express our gratitude for them being there . The grace of God and the love in that chapel was palpable .

And then another unexpected gift when I came close to the priest and he was extending his hand for me to receive the Eucharist , the same presence that was in your room pushed up against me again . Only , this encounter was even more intense and I felt a rush through my body . My knees became weak and I immediately began to cry .

The tears just flowed freely and I heard receive the body of Christ . He was there in the bread given to me . Later , I was trying to find the words to describe this encounter and I picked up a book . I don't remember even where I got it from . It was called Beginning to Pray , a beautiful book by Archbishop Anthony Bloom , published in 1970 .

Anthony writes this of his own encounter with Christ . He writes that up until my middle teens I was an unbeliever and very aggressively anti-church . I knew no God , I wasn't interested and I hated everything that connected with the idea of God .

As I began to look for meaning in my life , though , I came to a time when I felt something intensely dramatic happening within myself , and everything around me seemed small and meaningless . I heard a priest speak during this time . I didn't intend to listen , but my ears pricked up . I became more and more indignant .

While he was speaking , I saw a vision of Christ and Christianity that was profoundly repulsive to me . Yet I hurried home to check the truth or falsity of what he had been saying . I picked up the book of Mark , because that was the shortest gospel I figured .

I suddenly became aware as I was reading it , that on the other side of my desk there was a presence , and the certainty was so strong that it was Christ standing there that it has never left me . This was the turning point , because Christ was alive and I had been in His presence .

I could say with certainty that what the gospel said about the crucifixion of the prophet of the Galilean was true , and the Centurion was right when he said Truly , this is the Son of God . Well , it's getting late , brother . I have much more I could write , but I'm going to save it for another time . Thank you again for your parting gift .

Thanks for keeping me in your prayers and all of your brothers . Huh , time is flying and , god willing , I am going to see you soon . Life happens in the blink of an eye , doesn't it , brother ? I'm going to sign off with one of my favorite quotes from Benedict XVI .

He said being Christian is not the result of an ethical choice or some lofty philosophical idea . It's an encounter with an event , it's an encounter with a person , and that encounter with that person will give your life a new horizon and a decisive direction . Lobby Danny .