“You have aroused the three snakes!” This week the Distinguished Professors watch Rowdy Roddy Piper as the fertile meathead of the future in Hell Comes to Frogtown! Topics covered include a post-post apocalypse movie, the best action movie hero name ever (Sam Hell), identifying the accurate level of sexism for this movie, the butch hotness of Centinella, the one-note instrument of Mr. Piper, the old guys need to explain that the WWE was once the WWF, the eternal question of where pubic hair actu...
Jul 08, 2021•58 min•Season 3Ep. 5
“I just think it’s a bit much.” The Distinguished Professors celebrate Pride Month by watching The Gay Deceivers, released mere months after Stonewall. Topics covered include Flatrock Distillery, Ted Nugent’s plan to avoid Vietnam, Elliot’s status as a gigolo, Michael Greer’s role in saving this movie, the weird collapsing of cross-dressing and pedophilia into homosexuality, the status of gay marriage at this point, the Woodman article {“Why Don’t Your Take Your Dress Off and Fight Like A Man”),...
Jun 21, 2021•1 hr 11 min
“Feeling a little inadequate?” Join the Distinguished Professors on yet another post-apocalyptic encounter with the riot grrrl version of Mad Max, Tank Girl! Topics discussed include Shirley getting above his station, British sci fiction comics’ tendency to be set in not-Britain, offensive British accents, similarities with Turbo Kid, use of comic art in the movie, Courtney Love’s supervision of the great soundtrack, the Super Mario Bros. problem of imposing plot on a plotless franchise, lovin’ ...
Jun 07, 2021•53 min•Season 3Ep. 7
“I have mastered your god! Accept me! Now!” This week your favorite Distinguished Professors confront the Italian 1984 Sandahl Bergman vehicle and H. Rider Haggard re-envisioning She ! Discussion topics include the distinct lack of Haggard’s version of She in this version, the racism and colonialism of the original, similarity to Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death , the glory days of Skinemax and USA Up All Night , the necessity for more boobs, a quick intervention for Vanderpool, the...
May 23, 2021•1 hr 55 min•Season 3Ep. 6
“The monster is a mirror, and when we look at him, we look into our own hidden faces.” Today the Distinguished Professors do that which all lovers of movies of questionable quality must do: we watched Zardoz, the movie that made the world endure Sean Connery’s excessive hairiness spilling out of a red leather diaper. Topics discussed include the toilet-esque nature of our signature “whoosh,” the highmalarky ratio, comparison with 2001, the pointless floating-head narrator, the androgyny of the E...
May 11, 2021•1 hr 13 min•Season 3Ep. 5
“Everyone, this is Alfred. I work for him.” Welcome back to Because You Watched Starcrash’s extended exploration of Zack Snyder’s really long movie! You demanded it, and fanboys, you’re gonna get it. Topics covered include Vanderpool’s inability to use anything resembling human grammar to open the show, the intense awfulness of Eisenberg’s Lex Luthor, Thanos and Deadpool as Marvel ripping off DC, Luthor’s puppet master role in Batman v. Superman, the weirdness of being a voice actor, Luthor’s or...
Apr 27, 2021•1 hr 12 min
“Oh, you’re good. You almost had me.” The Distinguished Professors share their thoughts on the fanboy-demanded Snyder Cut of Justice League. Topics covered include the awful Justice League of America tvpilot that we covered in Season 2, a very brief reminder of good stuff Joss Whedon created in the past, butt shots for everyone, Berres confuses old movie snobs Robert DeNiro and Martin Scorsese, Frank Miller, Aquaman and the Atlanteans suck,Namor and the Atlanteans suck, the lousy air bubble effe...
Apr 05, 2021•1 hr 1 min
“Whole world’s comin’ to an end, Mal.” The Distinguished Professors give into fate and face off against Oliver Stone’s crazed take on the Bonnie and Clyde story, Natural Born Killers. Topics include the mystery of Owen, the symbolic end of our world and the beginning of a new one, apocalypse as revelation, John Milton’s love of Satan, our inability to say “apocalyptic” or “cinematography,” Woody Harrelson’s heel turn from Cheers, Juliette Lewis getting typecast, Rodney Dangerfield’s even more ho...
Mar 31, 2021•1 hr 14 min•Season 3Ep. 4
Dune (1984) “My name is a killing word.” This week the Distinguished Professors discuss David Lynch’s visionary tour de something, Dune. Topics discussed include josting, Clink’s babyface status, the movie’s ambitious failures, the nature of spice, parallels with The Lion King, Toto’s guitar-heavy soundtrack, information overload, the role of Princess Irulan as the narrator, the awesomeness of Dune: The Storybook, the perils of trying to stick too close to the book, the Shakespearean tone, Dr. B...
Mar 28, 2021•1 hr 3 min•Season 3Ep. 3
Follow us on Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/BecauseYouWatchedStarcrash Turbo Kid – 2015 “This is my weapon! This is my gnome stick!” Fresh off of Mad Max , the Distinguished Professors (and their producer) dive into the totes-80s Quebecois awesomeness of Turbo Kid. It’s the far future of 1997, and everyone is BMX-biking everywhere! Topics include Clink looking as old as the rest of us, the limits of surprising post-apocalyptic plots, Dr. Berres still hasn’t watched Community , parallels with...
Mar 14, 2021•58 min•Season 3Ep. 2
R.I.P. The Emperor, aka Christopher Plummer. We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming to bring you this bonus episode where Dr. Allen Berres, Michael Clink, and Mike Vanderpool discussed the 1987 masterpiece - Dragnet! “We believe bad sex and good drugs are the cornerstones of a great democracy.” In honor of our fallen spiritual spacebrother Christopher Plummer, we decided to veer away from our scheduled programming and watch 1987’s Dragnet! Topics covered include the legendary Onion AV ...
Mar 06, 2021•48 min
Mad Max – 1979 “Larger than life and twice as ugly!” Welcome back to Season 3 of Because You Watched ( woooosh! ) Starcrash! This season, mirroring the collapse of whole damn world, is focused on apocalypse movies! Joining the Distinguished Professors is JC Shirley, our new producer and a podcaster in his own right ( The Stuff Podcast with CJ and JC). We’re starting off by tackling the blueprint for the modern pre-/ post-apocalyptic movie, 1979’s Mad Max! Topics covered include a questionable re...
Mar 01, 2021•52 min•Season 3Ep. 1
Michael Clink recommended this movie whose name is way too long! To conserve oxygen, we'll just call it Buckaroo Banzai! Dr. Allen Berres and Michael Vanderpool join Mr. Clink in exploring the theory that Jeff Goldbloom makes everything better! Mentioned in this podcast: Jean Gray Ms. Marvel Emma Frost W.D. Richter Peter Weller Robocop Doc Savage: The Man of Bronze The Venture Bros. Johnny Quest Jeff Goldblum Brazil Dune The Outsiders H.G. Wells The War of The Worlds Galaxy Lords Johnny Lewis Ba...
Feb 16, 2021•1 hr 5 min•Season 2Ep. 11
What Dr. Allen Berres identifies as a "painful watch," daresay the most horrible film we have watched so far - the TV movie spectacular Justice League of America! Let's see if Michael Vanderpool and Michael Clink agree! Mentioned in this episode: Friday - The Movie Batman Justice League of America (1997) Velocipastor Kitty Pryde X-Men X-Men - Animated Series circa 1990’s Incredible Hulk - Pilot Spiderman - Pilot Pumaman Batwoman The Flash The Santa Clause Picard Band of Brothers Miguel Ferrer Th...
Feb 15, 2021•55 min•Season 2Ep. 10
Dr. Allen Berres subjects us to the Sam Rami "Spider-Man prequel"! He is joined by Michael Vanderpool and Michael Clink into Liam Neeson's foray into superhero stardom! Mentioned in this podcast: Liam Neeson Sigourney Weaver Darkman Sam Raimi Spider-Man Tim Burton Batman Danny Elfman Tobey MacGuire The Phantom of the Opera Quasimodo Hunchback of Notre Dame Frankenstein Deadpool The Simpsons Liam Neeson The Joker Conrad Veidt The Man Who Laughs Metropolis The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari Nicolas Cage ...
Feb 14, 2021•1 hr•Season 2Ep. 8
In this episode, Michael Vanderpool, Michael Clink, and Dr. Allen Berres discuss the 1995 Roger Corman production - Black Scorpion. Join our dynamic trio in the superhero spectacular a person in a mask and a black suit fights crime in a dark and dingy city. And no, it's not Batman! Mentioned in this episode: Black Scorpion Black Scorpion TV Show Roger Corman Supergirl Batman Batman II Back to The Future Three O'Clock High Robin Bougie Catwoman Jane Severance Scarlett Johansson Blake Snyder Save ...
Feb 13, 2021•1 hr 2 min•Season 2Ep. 7
In this episode, we discuss the Staw Wars Holiday Special and Satan Clause Conquers the Martians!
Dec 22, 2020•56 min•Season 2Ep. 11
In this episode, the three amigos discuss Detroit's Dynamic Duo of superhero/revenge films - Robocop and The Crow. Mentioned in this episode: Paul Verhoeven Showgirls Saved By The Bell A Star Is Born Starship Troopers Brandon Lee Rapid Fire Grindhouse Frank Miller Arnold Schwarzenegger Sylvester Stalone Jean-Claude Van Damme Velocipastor Mel Gibson Lethal Weapon Lady in The Lake Hardcore Henry Darkman Jessica Jones Daredevil Luke Cage Superman Batman Ronnie Cox Kurtwood Smith The Incredible Hulk...
Nov 19, 2020•56 min•Season 2Ep. 9
Welcome to Season 2 of Because You Watched (woooosh!) Starcrash! This is the Superhero Season, where the Intrepid Explorers Mike Vanderpool, Allen Berres, and Michael “Clinker” Clink watch some classic and not-so-classic superhero movies. This episode is about the not-so-classic superhero movie Blankman. If you were hoping for a dissection and analysis of this movie, you’ve come to the wrong place! Strap in for a wild ride through one big, giant WTF moment! Mentioned in this episode: Blankman Ti...
Oct 09, 2020•55 min•Season 2Ep. 6
Welcome to Season 2 of Because You Watched (woooosh!) Starcrash ! This is the Superhero Season, where the Intrepid Explorers Mike Vanderpool, Allen Berres, and Michael “Clinker” Clink watch some classic and not-so-classic superhero movies. In this episode, they cover Zorro: The Gay Blade, and discuss if wearing a gold, shiny outfit and having a name like Bunny Wigglesworth are qualifications to be a superhero! This whole movie (and episode) is filled with WTF moments, so strap in, and get ready!...
Oct 09, 2020•52 min•Season 2Ep. 2
"Dinosaurs died out because they forgot how to love each other." Welcome back to another episode of Because You Watched (woooosh!) Starcrash ! This episode focuses on the movie Pumaman, and really shows us the value of a good soundtrack. There were no “WTF” moments in this episode, but never fear, for the Intrepid Explorers Mike Vanderpool, Michael “Clinker” Clink and Allen Berres lead us to the end of the movie and leave us with some very important life lessons. Mentioned in this episode: Wolve...
Oct 04, 2020•43 min•Season 2Ep. 5
Welcome to Because You Watched Starcrash! In today’s episode, the intrepid explorers Mike Vanderpool, Allen Berres and Michael “Clinker” Clink reflect on their experience watching the 1980’s movie Flash Gordon. They summarize the movie, recall their trademark “WTF” moments, favorite quotes, and all the other weirdness. Mentioned in this episode: Community Pulp Fiction Jennifer Connelly VelociPastor Queen Flash Gordon -1980 Flash Gordon Comics Star Wars Saga The Rocky Horror Picture Show X-Men Co...
Oct 04, 2020•56 min•Season 2Ep. 12
"Your suffering will be short. Mine? Forever." Welcome to Season 2 of Because You Watched (woooosh!) Starcrash ! This is the Superhero Season, where the Intrepid Explorers Mike Vanderpool, Allen Berres, and Michael “Clinker” Clink watch some classic and not-so-classic superhero movies. In this season we see the return of some of our favorite segments including their trademark “WTF Moments,” and Allen’s favorite quotes. Join us for each new episode! Mentioned in this episode: Luke Skywalker Darth...
Oct 04, 2020•1 hr 2 min•Season 2Ep. 1
Show Notes
Jun 26, 2020•2 min
“Before you pay for your sins, you’ll watch this!” There’s no escape from Starcrash as the distinguished professors go back for one more helping of sci-fi insanity, subjecting themselves to Starcrash 2 , the completely unauthorized Italian knock-off sequel that, appropriate to type, has absolutely nothing to do with Starcrash except for ripping off some of its space footage in true Battle Beyond the Stars- style. Topics include the tradition of the Italian sequel, the lack of motivation of immor...
Jun 26, 2020•46 min•Season 1Ep. 9
“The village idiot and the two runners-up?” Your favorite village idiot and the two runners-up decide to cover the entire Deathstalker franchise in one sitting, and not even the return of Jim Wynorski’s work can save them. Topics include our new big boy recording setup, a recap of the season so far, Conan rip-offs, that guy being dragged behind the horse and the scrawny gladiator who keep appearing in reused footage, the amazingness of John Lazar, dumb anachronistic humor, the current US ambassa...
Jun 26, 2020•37 min•Season 1Ep. 8
“I’ll see you at the other side of this thing, space brother.” The distinguished Space Brothers face off against their greatest challenge – the pile of galactic excrement called Galaxy Lords . Topics include yet another gratuitous reference to Back to the Future , trying to figure out exactly what GL is paying homage to, Goethe’s rules of criticism, repeated violations of the conventions of filmmaking, contrasts with Spaceballs and Galaxina , making fun of the wrong movies, bad beards, finding t...
Jun 26, 2020•44 min•Season 1Ep. 7
“We never do laundry.” The distinguished professors discuss Space Raiders , another Roger Corman production that rips off space footage (and theme music) from the apparently immortal Battle Beyond the Stars. Topics include the failure of the space sex worker sight gag, the space western as a genre, viewer identification with the kid and this movie’s intended audience, comparisons to Cloak and Dagger , the need for more set-up, the acid-spewing bug gag’s violation of the Prime Directive, the crew...
Jun 26, 2020•35 min•Season 1Ep. 5
“We must have sinned something terrible.” Well, we lost the recording of our episode where we talked about The New Barbarians/ Warriors of the Wasteland, and we didn’t like it enough to re-record it, so now the distinguished professors move on to discuss British stage play-to-film adaption Devil Girl from Mars! Topics include the problems of converting a play to a movie, Dr. Berres’s pledge to play Nyah (PVC outfit and all) should we do a stage version of the movie at our college, the movie’s an...
Jun 26, 2020•35 min•Season 1Ep. 4
“That’s about the stupidest idea I’ve heard all day.” The distinguished professors discuss the Roger Corman-produced Alien-knockoff The Dingwhopper – oops, it’s actually called Forbidden World. Topics include the magic of Jim Wynorski, the dingwhopper’s unfortunate resemblance to Audrey II, competent set design and lighting, the ubiquity of footage from Battle Beyond the Stars, the patience of Alien, the epistemological problems posed by random flashbacks, the lies told by the movie poster, the ...
Jun 26, 2020•41 min•Season 1Ep. 3
