Ernest Saves Christmas (1988) - Because You Watched Starcrash

“It’s time for the Three Musketeers to saddle up and ride to glory, KnoWhutImean?”

To save Christmas 2021 from the triple threat of a COVID-19 variant that sounds like a Transformer, a dire shortage of cream cheese, and general malaise, your beloved Distinguished Professors bring you the 1988 Christmas miracle that is Ernest Saves Christmas! Topic covered include an overview of the Ernest cinematic universe, the connection between this film and The Star Wars Holiday Special, a bold claim that this is a perfect Christmas movie, parallels with Die Hard, the potential death of Ernest’s first passenger, Bobby and Marty’s sophomoric schtick, the Hey Vern, It’s Ernest TV show, the omnipresence of Hare Krishnas in 1970s/ 1980s airports in movies, a long reach to connect to Showgirls, the unfortunate manifestation of anti-Semitism in some of the showbiz characters who don’t understand the importance of Christmas, Santa reinforces sexist gender roles, the weirdness of Harmony’s role, Ernest’s occasional ADR rambling, the POV visit to Vern’s place, the childlike wonder of criminals, connections to our time travel season, contrast with The Santa Clause, the absence of Mrs. Claus, a pair of Disney connections, our reluctance to revisit some of the Ernest movies, the only words you need to remember in “Oh Christmas Tree,” Santa as a user of people and the embodiment of capitalism, a digression into talking about merch, Clink will not send you a dollar, Santa as the villain in Wonder Woman 1984 or a djinn, a lie about Michelangelo, and the importance of pursuing your dreams regardless of their legality.