Show #299 BFYTW Does TaskMaster 300 LIVE

Hello, everyone, Welcome to bfytw does Task Master, Episode three hundred. I'm the Task Mistress's assistant, Aaron Randolph, and you may be wondering what that ridiculous thing is on my head. They're called glasses. They help me see. So this is the first of a two night event. What you're going to see tonight is not the same show you're going to see tomorrow, so bear that in mind. Exits are that way, bathroom is that way. Please make sure that your phones have been set too silent and all the

Welcome to Taskmaster. A wonderfully enjoyable night.

I cannot wait to see all the ridiculous things that these people are up to.

So let's give it up for our contestants. We have got we have got, I forgot the order already, we've got together.

Yeah, all it once once.

Fair enough as you like it?

Amazing you ready to start the show. Okay, can we talk about this? Can we talk about the wig?

What?

People, it's not a wig? I had my hair dyed.

I know how much work you have put into this, preparing all these tasks people flew here. Are you taking this seriously? Thank you? Okay, this is an incredibly serious show. You ready to get started?

Yes, mistress, let's start the show. I hate you.

Doesn't want to let you know.

I hate you.

Oh god, Ah, Okay, I'm gonna finish last in this task.

I fucking know it.

Bibb, I need an Oscar winning performance here and becomes a thing.

Oopsie, poopsie, that's happened for me.

Yes, it's our podcast three hundredth episode, and we thought how better to celebrated than to play task Master with people who have had a profound impact on our show and Jen Reagan Oggie stepped in on our show when Jorge passed away. Caroline changed my whole life for the better and is one of our favorite guests. Dave improved our audio quality by leaps and bounds. Matt and Audra produced our sister show, The Gate Leapers, and constantly work with us. Cool Do Cool Stuff.

Was on once I was on the show.

Little Scamp.

Amazing. For those who don't know the premise of task Master, my loyal assistant here has prepared a series of silly and creative challenges for our contestants. They have completed these talents, these challenges in absolute isolation. They have an idea of how they have done, but they have no idea how anybody else on the panel has done in these challenges. Not anybody knows, not even our sound engineer Stevie. Not even Stevie knows how they have done. And we are going to see that.

Yes, I'm the only person who knows what's coming. Based on their skill and or the task Masters's swift and terrible judgment, the contestants will be awarded one to five points per TSK.

Contestant with the most points will win each night's selection of prizes, but the contestant with the highest score after both nights will win our beautiful Jorge Memorial Taskmaster Trophy, this glorious gold painted microphone. Who is the highest honor by man, God or country. Speaking of prizes, that's our first task, isn't it.

The first task of every task Master show is the prize task. Our contestants have each brought in a prize for the prize hall, and since this is our first episode, we figured we do a prize task that would introduce them, so to speak, isn't that right, Mommy new choice?

A new choice, anti, new choice, niece, new choice, Daddy.

Let's go with daddy.

Thank you daddy. So, as we wanted this to be an introductory task, we asked each of them to bring in the thing that most matches who they are if it weren't for one thing wrong with it. The player who brought in the best prize that almost represents them will get five points, and the player with the most points at the end of tonight's show will go home with prices that will mostly remind them of their fellow contestants.

Incredible, I want to see these. Let's let's do this first one in this same order. So we'll start with Aggie, sir, what is the prize that you have brought that most describes you minus one thing?

Oh well, the prize that I brought was a old nautical compass. Oh yeah, that's the one right there. Yeah, so it's an old leather bomb compass. On the side, there's like words of wisdom written on the bottom. It has like a nice scientific explanation of how a compass works.

And yeah, as you can see it's quite quite old. But there's a.

Problem with it.

It's fucked. It doesn't work. I try. How is that different from you?

No good point, But you know, I think I'm a pretty good navigator.

I haven't gotten lost yet, but yeah, I wouldn't bring that on a camping trip.

Unless you plan on getting lost like quickly.

Sometimes I do want to get lost. We'll find out now, Caroline, what have you brought for the prize pot today? Yes, hello, everybody.

I brought a little figurine of the Scarlet Witch that is modeled after after Elizabeth Olsen. So so many things to discuss. I have red hair, so basically twins.

The other fun.

Thing that I just am honored to have gotten to do is my very first big voiceover role. I got to play the Scarlet Witch in a Marvel project, which was so.

Literally cried on the zoom call. I was like, okay, Dad, oh my god. But here's the thing that's wrong with it. Look at me.

I'm not Elizabeth Olson, but that is look at her, that's Elizabeth Olson. So it would be fucking perfect if it wasn't Elizabeth Olson. Just kidding.

She's a great Scarlet Witch.

But it's yeah, that's what's wrong with it.

This this is a contender. I'm loving that. Let's take a look at Dave's prize.

Hi, I'm Dave, and like Caroline, I worked professionally in voiceover, and so my prize that I brought is an app g one audio interface. I feel this, this represents I pride myself on doing like on my technical expertise, and so this is a high end device, so the very very best audio quality recording. And the thing that's wrong with it is that it is like me. It is broken inside in a way that I'm still figuring out.

So like me in so many ways.

Incredible, incredible, And thank you for explaining kind of the what it is, because I'm someone who definitely does audio things and definitely knew what that was before. So thank you.

You have the look I can tell, Yes, Jen.

What have you brought in today? Yes? So I am a fiber artist.

I made this so I figured, you know, let's bring a little bit I craft into it.

So I made this bean or two, depending on what part of the world you're from. This is made with your from the independent yarn dire that I worked for, so I got to pick it out when I was at work.

It's very autumnal. It's got oranges and greens, which is my color palette. But there is one thing wrong with it, and it's made impeccably.

However, if we go to the next picture, sports propaganda. My partner, what is one thing that's not mean? He just goes sports. Yeah, you're right, so knit it onto. This is football and somehow, as he said, I still made a cute football at disgraceful to myself.

And to prove that this is all one hat. It is reversible. It's two different hats.

So you can you can hide your shame like I would, or take it to sports or something else. Oh I hope that whoever wins it takes it to a sport. This is a real contender because it is so you, except for that one piece, fundamentally not you. I'm loving this. These are great, Matt. What have you got for us?

I've brought in a bottle of Matt white paint.

Okay, okay, it's it's got an E on it, and I don't. I am the other things listed on the bottle, I am those things got it.

I love words.

Wow, it's almost like they're married.

An advantage. I think.

I wouldn't be.

So sure because there is a lot of things going on here, like Caroline's career, Jen knit a whole hack. You did just buy a bottle of white paint that I cannot be sure was not already in my craft club.

It may have been your bottle of white.

As much as I love the wordplay, how would you like to score? This is so phenomenal I am for the effort that was put in. I'm going to give Gen five points. I am going to give Caroline four points who and here I'm going to give Dave three whoa and I'm going to give This is tough because I do like the wordplay, but as you, as Aggie's friend pointed out, there might not be as much difference between the compass and the person in for your joke of it. So I am going to have to go with ma to Oggie.

One okay and starts off with five big points. All right, are you ready for our first pre recorded task?

I am so ready.

Our first task is a lot like a dream that I enjoy having, and that our contestants are about to spend a few minutes with a German stranger.

Hello, how are you good?

There?

She is.

Hell? Hi, Hi Caroline, This is my friend pyne Ja.

Hello, cal Nice to meet you.

Uh, Matt, this is a param jade or pirene.

Piran or piren.

I prefer pirate because I like pie more than p.

All Right, Dave, here's your first task. Would you mind reading it out loud for me?

Wait?

Are we rolling?

Uh?

Yeah, we're rolling right now, Doddy, Caroline, here is your first There is your first task. Go ahead and read it out loud for me.

All right, Learn as much as you can about this German person.

Okay, learn as much as you can about this German person. She understands English. Hello, she understands.

She understands English. But we'll only respond to you in German.

You have five minutes.

Your time starts now.

Okay, okay, okay.

Question one?

What was her first peten?

Oh Man, I did French in school and not German, so this is already off to a great start.

I'm so sorry, Oh my gosh. Obviously this task would be dead simple if anybody understood German. But I'll spoil it right now. Nobody did.

So this is a panel of incredibly talented, creative lateral thinkers, and I am sure we are going to see a lot of varied approaches. And we're not just gonna like ask a bunch of questions in rapid succession, right.

Sure, that would be stupid. Anyway, here are the boys, David.

Matt Yeah, yeah, okay, close enough.

Happen?

I mean that sounds like two words to me, But like so often, Germany is like, oh oh, I'm getting.

Confirmation two words.

Oh my gosh, you shouldn't have happened.

Well, then I'm trying to think of pets that are two words, like guinea pig or house cat.

I mean the house cat.

I'm really reaching for it.

Now, did you say that again?

Mongoolish?

Tren Hatton?

All right, interesting, See I talk French in college. So I screwed up early on.

I should have learned instead.

Nine it Well, it can't be a Mongolian hen that can't be. That can't be the right thing. What sound does did your first pet make? Was it a bird?

Nine?

Is it?

Was it a cat?

Nine?

Some height of small chicken. That's a bud.

I'm going to move on through the questions and then we'll see if any coming up as like a yes. This is making some kind of linguistic connection. What's your favorite flower?

I guess, Minie, I guess, mine, I guess.

I don't.

I genuinely don't know.

Your favorite flower?

Uh, sunflower?

Is it an orchid?

Nine?

Is it a daffodil?

Oh?

Is it a ficus? That's a plant.

Flower, daffodil?

Nine? Rose?

N lily?

N Oh.

Now I've run out of flowers.

Okay, I'm going to come.

Back to that and give myself a chance to think of some more flowers, and I'm gonna.

Hit up question three.

What did she study in college? Heis listen, shaft.

Highbus and shaft, yeah, yeah, yeah, shoft.

Oh my goodness.

I wish I was asking you more normal questions so that I didn't seem like such a dick asking you this.

Accounting.

I'm guessing no, yeah, okay, hi, high subfuse shaft.

Well, that's clearly got to be the study of walking sticks nine nine. Wow, Okay, I don't know how I'm blowing this this badly and shoft listen shift.

Like shot.

Oh oh, it's it's a different kind of vision shaft I should have.

What's your hidden talent?

I am not fun.

You can you can run very far, you can sing.

Honestly, Yeah, I means one yeah yeah yeah. So so your hidden talent is is one one good time, one night only.

One singular sensation step she takes.

You're a musical theater major.

What was the loudest gift you received as a child.

As far and slipper?

Fliper?

Okay, okay, so like maybe like a loud a loud pair of shoes.

Horn, like a trumpet, clipper, flipper, slipper, Yeah yeah, flipper, I'm flipper one one dolphin.

The anomous flipper high speed about high slipper? What is loud? That goes high speed? Flipper that goes high speed.

Like a fan a that circulates air.

Those can be loud.

For those watching in the theater. This is the first task of the day. Is eight in the morning, three.

Minutes because it's five minutes.

Yeah, that'd be why I'm not good at math either, not good at other languages.

Is math and your time is up? Well, thank you very much.

It's a pleasure.

I like a true British person, I have let you rip down.

I do have to check. Are you still friends with this woman?

Yes? Yes, she's a good friend of mine. She's actually an old boss. She is the stream team leader for gog dot com.

Incredible, wonderful, and no one figured out anything about her.

Well, I mean, Matt said Mongolian.

I do have note of that. So this does get us a little bit of somewhere. David, do have the question what this and shoft were you thinking?

I mean it could have been one of many visit shops.

Right there was a Heiser Visions vision shop, so like, how do I know which vision shops it is?

I'm pronunciation is so good, yours, like, you know what it's because I one time sang like a German opera I think, like in high school.

And because of that, I thought I was going to do so good at this.

It's such confidence. I did French operas. I just didn't know Germany.

I did love that both of you did study French and it was zero help to you.

We know, help I remember French. Either. Languages are a waste of time.

Amazing interesting. I loved Day's ability to properly mimic back, what was saying, your voice acting work coming in incredibly Well, Matt knows very few flowers like four and that's it.

He tapped out.

And the first thing I wrote down was just Aggie going interesting, and she said the flipper, the flipper, and the audience made a collective sound of oh, as though you knew what the fuck she was saying. They're gonna get shipped, but you're gonna get shipped for that incredible I've got notes, I've got some ideas on ranking here.

So yeah, so it wasn't incredibly obvious. None of them got a single one right, But like I said, Matt said, Mongolian, I'll leave it up to you. In the meanwhile, let's see how Caroline Engender.

Phenominal.

All right, hello friend, how are you? It's so nice to meet you.

Hi.

I'm just gonna do my own thing. I five minutes.

Could you describe with your hands how you interact with your favorite pet?

It's all very.

Sweet, So can you show me with your.

Hands, like what shape of ears your first pet had?

Okay, I'm gonna go with cat.

Dog, dog.

Kindd Is this like a typical household pet?

Nine?

Okay, okay, I think it was.

A rats or a guinea pig.

Rabbit?

Nine nine nine?

Okay? Does it have hooks? Is it a mammal? Does it eat meat? Does it have two like buck teeth in the front? Some kind of rodent mouse?

Yes? Oh?

Sweet? Sort of rat?

Yeah?

Similar mouse is close?

Yeah. Gurbil?

Oh my god?

Is it bigger or smaller?

Specific it's oh gosh, there are kinds of gerbils.

It gets my nake.

Grows in the garden. Yeah, okay.

Does it look like it has a face on it like.

Pansies kind of have like a face.

I don't know.

No, no, okay, could.

You again mine with your hands?

How your favorite flower blooms very.

Very small bloom?

Yeah?

I guess small like daisy?

Nor not?

Line up?

This is just testing my knowledge of flower.

What is its color?

Usually blown?

Bloue blue?

Yeah?

Who let?

Okay? Okay? What are blue flowers high ranges? No, definitely not that bluebells? Okay. I don't really know flowers very well.

So I'm gonna move on to question three, which is, uh, what did you study in college? He hates this and chuffed, great, Okay, so it's nice.

Was it something to do with like writing commutations, literature, Yeah, and vits.

Enough there, I'm gonna.

Say, uh maybe history.

Is this a pretty common major?

Yeah?

Yeah, okay? Business? Nice communication?

Nine?

Where did you go to school?

The minds to does?

Okay?

Okay? Nice?

What is your hidden talent?

I'm not fam if your hidden talent has any uh hand gestures or physicality?

Would you be able to do that with? How you describe your hidden talent? Hidden talent?

Dancing?

Oh no, okay, okay, So now I'm gonna move on to question or.

And what was the loudest gift you received as a child?

Slipper? High speed flipper.

Like a high speed car, like a car of some kind.

I'm dancing dancing around guy, amazing.

That was an attempt for sure.

So there's a specific face that Caroline made.

Oh, I mean when she learned there are different kinds of Gerbils.

Yes, yes, yeah, you knew the face. I think I think Caroline was all of us. Oh god, there's so many types of Gerbils. This is phenomenal. Caroline and Jen did go more lateral approach involving physicality. Caroline got that it was a gerbil, which is technically anybody else love it? Oh, this is phenomenal. Is there anything I want to make you defend in this public manner? Flower flowers with faces?

Okay, this is about to get like very wholesome for this environment. But my grandmother had a flower garden and her favorites were pansies because pansies have their little face.

They have a little faces, and I feel like people who know flowers know about the little faces calling me out for not No, I do appreciate your knowledge, and you did get the most, so I have to give you five points.

Yeah.

Matt got Mongolian, and so I do have to give him four.

Yeah.

Together we have one whole answer.

Oh yeah.

Now we get into some some gray areas from those who didn't necessarily get as many, and by as many, I mean many. I'm gonna go for three points. I shouldn't do this, but I'm going to do. Jen and Dave, I'm gonna give three points each. I loved your later you continued the gestures. I had one bit and it was can you be physical on the zoom call? Can you get up and dance for me? I loved the accurate representation of the words because I can hear someone speak to me in an English sentence and not be

Amazing, amazing, that gets four points.

I've bucked out that massively. Would you like the current score breakdown? I would love to think. I'm still waiting to get my.

Power points breakdown.

Okay, so currently out in the lead is Caroline with nine points, by Jen with eight, Dave and Matter tied on six and all he's sitting pretty at three. I would love to Okay, our next few recorded task, this is for real bargain hunters. Let's move on to your next task. This one's going to be a little bit easier.

Okay, Uh, this time I'll just say uh, it's you know, something like it's uh. And now for your next task, go ahead and start reading.

No more fingers.

Stuff that's just weird.

No more fingering, no more fingering. Okay, Dave, your next task is ready for you. Go ahead and read it out loud for me. Okay, here we go.

Get the most interesting item on Craigslist for free.

You have until the live shows in five months. That's fair.

You must provide screenshots of the original listing and.

Any correspondence between yourself and the lister.

Or you will be disqualified your time stoughts. Now, all right, I guess I got five months.

My first thought must have just like a cat, like.

An actual like.

An entertainment center for free.

I don't even know how.

A zebo.

Oh oh, that's not far from here.

Well, okay, First of all, interesting is such a subjective term.

So I think I'm gonna go on on Craigslist and find something because I think that is going to be the most interesting is I'm going in with no idea what I'm looking for, truthfully, But.

I think what I find interesting isn't necessarily the same as what everyone finds interesting. So I've got to make it broadly interesting. I'm to look for a broadly interesting thing.

Okay, Okay, I think I'm probably looking for something that will be the most absolutely impractical and useless in my everyday life, something that uh oh, maybe a little embarrassing that someone would want to pursue. Of course, then if you're putting it on Craigslist giving it away for free, how embarrassing.

Could it be? How embarrassing indeed.

Okay, so everyone has found a thing on Craigslist for free. Let's see these interesting items. Let's start with Carolyn. Is it because we've been hyping.

It up all week?

Sarah?

Okay, HAPs do I pull it out? Oh my god, oh god.

This was my wife, Sarah's carry on item on our plane from Philadelphia. This, my friends, is the canjo all right, And as a little demonstration, and Sarah has made has developed a very intimate relationship with the candle.

They have traveled far and wide together.

Oh my gosh. I am surprised and delighted by this. And I'm surprised, and I did buy your musical interlude A Joy, A Joy from top to bottom. Let's now, let's see Dave's Craigslist acquisition.

Well, first, we're gonna start with the correspondence.

Oh yes, the proof to me.

So, David, if you'd explain what it is you picked up.

I acquired a set of cardboard standis featured in the lobby of a movie theater upon the theatrical release of the movie Bay.

That's great. Well, the reason I wanted this to go first is because the lady who sent it to you said it was the only thing they found in the finished basement of the house they bought. I'm like, did you.

Buy George Miller's house? You said they were the original owners and they were left there.

That's great bas knowledge. By the way, just knowing that joke, that's fantastic. That's the one thing you know about it.

Incredible.

Here is a Dave returning home with said, standish, God, here's a lot of in their full glory.

Oh.

The fact that there's a photo shoot attached. I know you kept those they're.

Still in.

Was like, why are we greeted by the cast of.

Where's her sense of whimsay?

Oh?

This is so beautiful.

I looked down at my notes and then I looked back up about it, and it was just so wonderful. Oh a joy, this this is so exciting. Let's see what Jen has for us to add to this beautiful collage so far.

So in my perusal, I picked Facebook Marketplace as my uh free online marketplace service that we licensed to do either.

They were allowed to use any online marketplace as long as they could prove it was gotten for free.

Yes, cool, cool, cool. So I drop about Aurora and picked up these bases full of sand that were used in someone's actual wedding as unity sand. If you picture two people pouring sand into a jar. From all accounts, they look to still be married. They didn't want to. I was like, why why were not more? Iification ceremony anymore?

Is it?

Do we not like the colors? Are we not vibing with the decor? Its just a precursor to a rocky divorce?

Yeah?

Like is she like, I'm here and this is from a man that She's like, I don't want this sand anymore? Also turquoise and brown, which dates the wedding. Yes, so they're having like circa two six eight.

Yeah, and it's proper hated blue and brown back turquoise and brown specific era. And because they were in glass and I couldn't bring them from home, I brought the sand in the back. Yes, I had someone's potentially rocky marriage.

Oh my god, a loose bag of powder has been brought. That's my addition to this wonderful It's just sand. It's pretty decent sand. Cute, but yeah, high quality sand. Yeah, it's very intimate and personal. You just have it. Let's see Augie's next.

Okay, all right, So what I found on Craiglist.

After much search I mean procrastination, I mean search, I.

Found a nice little pe tray, a cactus ice tray where your cubes are cactuses, but the tray is also as.

The double cactus element. I will say, does something for me. I am excited about the double cactus situation.

I did have one question. Now I saw the correspondence, and if you read toward the bottom, there's a bunch of other items that she was giving away, including something that starts three D horse pillar.

GV fair That was originally what I was going for. Apparently she gets cleared out on a daily basis, because it was really hard just to get this.

It took three.

Days and like an hour long back and forth text message Sash to even get this.

I don't know what she was doing, clearing house or trying to hide stuff from her husband, who she specifically told me when I arrived to be as quiet as a mouse.

So it's oh my god, it was her husband's favorite cactus.

Try to come to Colorado to get it?

So all right, okay.

Now let's see that.

Yeah.

I also use Facebook marketplace as well, and you find some pretty incredible things on that people are giving some incredible things away for free, and i'd go.

A brand new PlayStation poltal?

What what retail value of two hundred dollars for free?

Task Mistress. Before you judge any of these, you should know they were all required to submit their correspondence to me, and out of everyone's Matt's correspondence seemed a little fishy. Now this seems like a golden opportunity. We have two talented and professional voice actors in Carolina Day. Can you guys act out this correspondent? Would you mind coming over here and if you give them your if we bust on stage, just just my position where you can read

Hey do you still have the free PlayStation portal?

Very interested? If so?

Yeah, my great grandfather.

I'm a little sentiment. I'm not sure if you're wthy.

Correction, that's totally fair. I promise to take good care of it. I have over four platinum trophies.

If that makes me worthy depends on the gate.

The three Spiral of the Dragon games and gt A V.

Hell granted, you are powerful?

Okay? Oh okay?

What shage on your head?

I was the high school baseball team's catcher.

Which I think says enough.

First needed to be sure? Is a handheld device?

You know your family lives well.

This particular device carries a heavy price.

Oh but it says free on the listing.

Alright, free in as.

Long as no money changes hands. That works for my needs.

She's not in talent comes with the family cash.

It's you what kind of course?

Still interested?

B t W?

Whosoever is the holder of the PlayStation?

That's also Jay? What comes weed? Which is hell? Wow?

I'll take them both. Where is it convenient to meat to collect these free items?

If you look behind you already there? I like Thursday perfect.

I can't wait to play g t V.

You don't have a PlayStation, don't actually do anything by itself?

Scene? I mean, I think I was pretty convincing.

I think so obviously not.

That's how everyone else's interactions went.

Yes, this this sounds like a violation of the rules, unbelieve. So obviously it was bullshit when it was a PlayStation portal. It was bullshit for the entire conversation. Also, I know that dog that Ethan's dog, So Melo is adorable. You're getting no point?

Okay, full full disclosure, that was fake? Why Yeah, and I just for a second. The thing that I love the most is that expression seems to be saying, could you leave me out of this? Yeah?

Could not want to be a part of this.

Last Yeah, I kind of left it to the last minute and then contacted two people who ghosted me, and I was like, fuck this, I'm buying myself a PlayStation poll and calling it a prize.

So you have a PlayStation portal and no points for this time?

Oh, how would you like to screw the others?

Okay, for the fact if it was just the standy cutouts, I might not say this, But the fact that there's a photo shoot in the company, Yeah, we're going for five points, so I do think next. I love the whole concept. I appreciate the gumption, but you interrupted me, and so four points is going to go to someone's marriage on Craig's list. We're going three points to the kanjo just because I see I see the look in

Final wins that particular task.

I left that. All right, Shall we move on to our next task?

I would love to This next.

Pre recorded task is show and tell and show. You should have your next task. Go ahead and read it out loud for me.

Go get your three favorite objects.

From anyway in your.

Home and bring them back here.

You have five minutes.

Your time starts now, okay, five minutes, five minutes.

I'll be right back.

All right, be right back, all right.

Three favorite objects from your home, bring them back.

Here, Okay, okay, okay, easy, easy.

So I have so many favorite objects?

Is the thing? Okay? All set, aw set, okay, I'm gonna.

Say you still have three minutes to go, and no I don't need three minutes.

I'll start with my oldest one, which is this little Pewter wizard. The next favorite object I have, and I think this counts, is this.

Character sheet from a three point five Dad.

My final favorite objects.

Is this deck.

This deck with pink sleeves.

This is what magic the gathering nerds would know as a Hiromancer ascension deck.

A professional wrestling championship. It's a custom professional wrestling championship. This framed letter object number three is just my favorite album. It's Worried by Jeff Rosenstock. Everyone should listen to it. Go listen to it now, stop watching the show and go.

This is Optimus Prime.

This is specifically, this is earth Rise Optimist Prime. That it's right up here, it's already kind of in the shot. This is my Sennheiser MKH four sixteen shotgun microphone. And then my final object that I love in my house came from mister Aaron Randolph himself.

It's nice steen Dad.

Gosh.

I hope my wife and children aren't mad at me for not selecting like the kid's baby albums or like our wedding pictures.

This really made you build a bear that I've had since I was like probably like twelve.

The second thing is this felted sheep.

Last thing is my favorite sweater I've ever made.

Here we go.

Next task, reenact your favorite movie scene using all three of the items selected.

Okay, reenact your favorite movie scene using all three of the items you selected.

You have twenty minutes to plan your scene and one minute to reenact it.

Best to reenactment wins.

Your time starts. Now you know the fucking hilarious thing? I think I have one, So give me, like, give me the twenty minutes.

I got this twenty minutes.

Okay. First question one, super excited to see the task? And do you want to validate that? In you big question? We did not see Caroline.

Yeah, there's a reason for that, which will soon become evident. I'm just gonna jump straight to it. Here you are Caroline's three favorite objects and her movie scene.

Go get your three favorite objects.

I'll be right back.

He is.

Oh, oh all right, hold on, okay, can you please explain what your objects are?

Yes, Sarah, could you help me by handing me them one at a time.

Please.

My least favorite favorite object this is Willow. She is my Gremlin, Baba Duke child Object number is my favorite little boy. He's a professional podcaster in contact theater. We have this beautiful, perfect angel, baby Olive. Look at this baby, Look at her, Look at her.

She's perfect.

I'm gonna go ahead and say this has the potential to be either amazing or an absolute train.

Oh.

Go ahead and read the second part.

Of the.

Reenact your favorite movie scene using all three of the items you select It best reenactment.

Wins your time starts now.

Okay, guys, listen up. I need an Oscar winning performance here. All right, guys, Because you all are my children and I know that.

You're so talented and gifted, we're just gonna go for it.

Are you ready?

Eric?

Oh, I'm the beehive beehive bah, And since I'm a cad and I want to leave, I'm gonna leave now, and we're just gonna pretend that the beehive is rhady.

Oh hey, ladies, I'm Igy Threadgood and I am a little lesbian.

I also know how to charm these Oh in my eyeballs, I can charm them so good.

But I'm just gonna go over to the beehive.

Really slowly, okay, and I'm gonna get honey from the beehive.

And none of the bees sing me because I'm magical.

My gosh, I love.

Look at this beautiful woman getting all that honey without being stung by a bee.

That is absolutely amazing. That was beautiful.

You're a beech charmer, gee threadgood, You're a bee charmer.

That's what you are.

Here's your honey, my love.

Fuck you found this jar of honey inside the tree. And no, I actually did it without getting stung.

By a fee.

Where did the jar come from?

Now Bee's lovingly into each other's eyes, but not kissed, because this is nineteen ninety eight.

Incredible work. Okay, I don't know how things are going to follow that, but my notes say that things must. So oh, let's take a look at Jen and Augie's attempts.

Yep, you've heard of gen Z and Jen Alpha. Now it's time for Jen.

And now I shall perform to you my favorite scene in one of my favorite movie, Lord of the Rings.

May I begin.

A bell rock, A demon of the ancient world.

You cannot pass.

I am a servant of the sacred fire usor dark fire will not availue flame balldon, you shall not pass.

Got three?

Is that enough?

A man.

Being lowered down into a room head first, I'm somewhere outside in a van.

He's rolling to you.

He's at the voice recorder.

Going straight down. The guy played by the sheep not in the frame, trying really hard.

He's going down.

Uh oh, they'd also buy the sheep.

The guy comes back in. I know he's working at this desk.

What.

Oh, his tummy is upset.

Oh, now he's taking beds being dropped down.

But don't know.

Guy in the an event there's.

A rat and he goes flat.

He's laying there. He's laying there.

What does he to do?

I drop his sweat? What he catches it? He puts the dissk in. It's copying one bread.

Be careful, Ethan, get moving.

Don't worry. The guy comes back in and he gets pulled up. And then at the last second they're in the event after being pulled up, and he's excited.

But then next drops The guy comes back in looking and he sees an innocuous knife stuck.

Into the computer.

As they all celebrate that they got the knocklist out of the computer.

But also this guy gets fired or this one thing, but the knife is kept eight movies later and a thing so good. I'm loving the suspense, I'm loving the referencing, uh and the creative use of those things in one of my favorite films of all time. That will play well for you.

Ooh, this is so good.

Let's see Dave and Matt's entries.

Finally, there are two of the most entertaining men I know with the most boring white guy ass names. It's Da Matt.

Obviously, the time continue has been disrupted squence, resulting in this alternate reality English doc Let me illustrate.

Imagine that this line represents time.

Here's the present nineteen eighty five, the future, and the past prior to this point in time. Somewhere in the past, the timeline skewed into this tangent, creating an alternate nineteen eighty five alternate to you, Me, and Einstein, but reality for everyone else, recognize this. It's the bag the sports book came in. I know because the receipt was still inside. I found them in the time machine. Along with this, It's a time of bibskne I mean all from the future.

Correct.

It was in the time machine because bif was in the time machine with the sports Hopmanac.

Holy shit.

You see, when we were in the future, Beff got the sports book, stole the time machine, went back in time, and gave the.

Book to himself at some point in the past book. He says right here that Biff made his first million betting on a horse race in nineteen fifty eight. He wasn't just lucky, he knew because he had all the race results in the sportsmenach.

That's how he made his entire hordrone. Look at his pocket with a magnifying glass the almanac so.

A bit still, he must have been listening when I follow. The whole thing is my fault, the damn put none of this would have rap. And where it's all in the past, you mean the future?

Whatever it can be misused, and why the time machine must be destroyed after we straighten all this out right, So we gotta go.

Back to the future and stop it from stealing the time machine.

We can't because if we travel into the future from this point in time, it will be the future of this reality in which Biff is corrupt, powerful and married to your mother, and in which this has happened to me.

No, No, our only chance to repair. The present is in the past at the point where the timeline skewed into this tangent. In order to fact, we have to find out the exact die in specific circumstances of how, when, and where young Biff got his hands on that sports almanac.

I'll ask him.

You enjoy the creative way he brought his third item in there?

Yes, Oh my goodness, incredible.

I don't know how you're gonna sure these everything else.

I've had a pretty solid idea of how I wanted to do it, and this I'm going to decide that I have a solid idea of how I want to do it for the sake of time. I loved Aggie's creative use of his props and him playing to my favorite movie. So I'm gonna give Oggie five points.

WHOA.

I cannot deny the fact that Caroline had the toughest job here of three cats moving, and so I'm going to give her four points. I am loving. I just loved the suspense that Jen's story brought in, and then also the referencing to the wider lore. I had just watched all of the Mission Impossible movies from one to like whatever the one came out this year.

I'm so sorry.

It's his And if I could take points away from him for subjecting that you to that, I would, but I can't. But what I can do is give you those three points. I this is this is very tough. All of this has been tough. I am going to give Matt two points here. I liked the creativity. I liked the camera work in here. I liked the use of the third prop, and Dave, I am penalizing you for your incredible voice act, but just in that I felt like it overshadowed the three props that you brought in.

Yes, all right, Yeah they were always as.

I would see any of them in theaters, and honestly I just did, and I see it again, wonderful.

Each of us identify with one of the Golden Girls. I'm Sophia, Aaron is Dorothy, Kristen is sweet Rose. And each week we'll have a guest sit in the Blanche spot the naughty seat. Come join us on the Lani Vers of Cheesecake, part of the PUDs Media Network.

Hey, Jeff, what are we doing?

Why are you whispering?

Because all of our devices are constantly listening to us. Unless we take massive efforts to protect our online privacy, all the details of our lives will be in the hands of mega corporations.

Okay, sure, but this is the promo for our podcast. We need people to be able to hear us this time. Why do we need a promo? Oh funny you should ask. We're not members of the Odd Pods media network.

Are they one of those global conglomerates.

No, they're just a really awesome podcast network full of great shows like ours.

Well, is there anything specific we need to say?

We should probably tell them what our podcast is about.

Oh, it's about how the algorithm shapes our lives and how tech companies profit off our personal information. We dabble in tech conspiracy theories and talk about how billionaires are all buttholes.

I don't think we should say buttholes.

In the promo, but we already did twice.

Join us every other Monday for new episodes of suggested articles a podcast.

Okay, task Mistress. To start the next task, could you yell out your favorite word fuck? All right, Matt, if you're ready, for your next task. Go ahead and read it out loud for me.

Yes, write down six words.

Write down six words.

You have one minute.

Your time starts now, all right?

Why do I have a feeling I am going to be in trouble no matter what six words I write?

Done?

Oh, that was quick.

You still got forty seconds.

How's your date?

Eric?

That was quick?

All right?

If you're all done, you still got thirty seconds.

I'm done.

You're done? All right? Six words perfect timing? Your time just ran out?

Okay?

Yes, my six words are beefy, twelve horses, examine, jump and lemons.

Tuna, sailor, the I sleep, Sarah, girl.

Pants, knit, mouse, collage.

Mine, paprikas, flop house, energy, hoodwinked, sausage, and.

Communal six words.

And then I stopped being a smart ass and said seven, eight, nine, and ten.

Read out the second part of your task whenever you're ready, all right.

Write a poem about Jen Reagan, using each of your chosen words to end a line.

Sorry, Jen.

Write a poem about Matt Watson.

Write a poem about August Daniels buck Uh.

Write a poem about David Ottovino, using each of your chosen words.

Okay, I'm gonna open my eyes and read the second part of the task, and I'm there might be some tears.

I'm gonna cry a little bit.

Here we go, all right.

Second part of the task is.

Write a poem about Carolinula, using each of your chosen words to end end a line, which must then be rhymed with on the following line.

The resulting poem should be twelve lines.

Long, funniest poem.

Whens.

Do you have twenty minutes to time starts now?

Okay, okay, okay, twenty minutes.

That's generous, all right, twenty minutes so okay, okay, all right.

All right, sweet, let's get to work on some poetry.

Okay.

And if it wasn't clear, August is Augie, oh I love.

You were not ready for the slam poetry against one Matt waited for.

It is about to happen.

The task is pretty simple. I gave them a minute to write down whatever six words they wanted and told them that they had to write a poem using each word at the end of the line, and it must then be rhymed with on the following line. Some of the contestants took some liberties with that, but regardless, So I'm going to see some poems wrong, wrong, and I'm so disappointed in you. You should never be heroes. Instead, we're going to dive into the first team task of

Read the passage I send you to your teammates without either of you or your teammates smiling or laughing.

Each of you will have to read one passage.

After all passages have been read. The team that broke the you wist average times per team member wits Your time starts now.

Okay, just keeping my just keeping my mouth very tightly closed.

Yes, Individually, I set them to write the funniest poem they could about people who they did not know at the time were their teammates. And then I made them read those poems to their teammates and penalize them for smiling or laughing. It's the old taskmaster one two punch.

You asshole.

This is why I hired you. Now you may have caught onto this. As it happens, nobody laughed during the task, so I was brutal about counting smiles. If it was a half smile or a beginning of one. I counted it. The only rule in the contestants favor was that if they smiled but don't return to neutral, it only counts as one. You'll see a couple of smiles. I don't count for that reason. Okay, Audrew? Would you like to see Augie, Caroline and Dave read poems to each other?

I would like nothing more in this life.

That's a shame. Here's Matt and Jane, so.

I'm to begin my reading. Is that correct?

Jen?

Your diet leans toward beefy, whereas mine over here is a little more leafy. You believed in Jesus when you were twelve, but his Western philosophies you decided to shelve. You moved too much to ever own horses because your father was in the armed forces. Which state are you from? Let's examine Missouri, Hawaii, Colorado, but not Alabama. But sincerely, friend, with joy, you make me jump. Your presence makes it worth enduring President Trump. I love your husband, Chris, though

Wow, Matt, what an aspiring display of affection and random details about my life.

Yes, That's what I could remember and felt was important.

He's just a boy, and I'm just a girl. He has the attention span of a squirrel. Adre wears the pants. He just rants and rants. I helped to teach Adra to knit. He appreciates a good bit. He likes to pretend that he's quiet as a mouse, but try to challenge him.

And he's a party house.

If I gathered all of our for wonderful moments, I'd have a collage. His games show Persona.

Is just a mirage.

In a different life, he'd be a great mime. Speaking of bits, I meant to curdle the butter and mine.

They just stayed silent for like five seconds.

A bit of lored. There was a challenge we had at our house playing games where we had to make people eat weird things and then guess what it was.

And there was an oreo.

The gin made me eat full of butter and lime, and it did curdle. We've been wanting her to confirm it was on purpose.

Four months.

Incredible work.

Would you like to hear some stats.

I would love to hear some stats.

Jen smiled only once and Matt smiled seven times, for a total of eight smiles and an average of four smiles per person. Happy, guys, you.

Live a joyous life, and I love that you had to control your emotions.

Smiling.

It's not handy.

Let's see more now of Oggi, Caroline and Dave. We have two talented and trained actors and one professional stoner who could possibly be the weak link here.

What am I doing here?

Says I on a discord call with all these guys, but one stood out as the big tuna and had me instantly saying, booh yeah, it's dearest Augie, swearing like a sailor, even cooler than swift Comma Taylor careson.

So fine.

They call him the man of the app.

Or just look and see.

Sadly, he's never left met darling Sarah. Now do we get them to meet and wear a well? Now it's time for Aggie to sleep.

I miss him so much I could just Weeper's.

Poem I've ever received.

It's the only poem I've ever received.

I have a friend who's energy is max a perfect ten or g to think of Caroline's raw bossage.

She's as spicy as a sausage. In speech or song, She'll craft a tunal make us raise a cheer communal. Unlest you think I've been hoodwinked, my tatue artist went and inked expensive picture of her cheek, a color not unlike paprika.

Upon my skin.

And here here's my hot grouse. Now I live in this here flop house.

That was very good.

I enjoyed that immensely.

David Otrovino, six to ten, the accumulated time we've known each other in years feels like six. Fix is what you did for our podcast of words. Herds of fans flocked to your voice in rows of seven heaven nearly there.

Being trapped by your stairs if being eight.

Wait, that came out wrong.

Let me try that again using nine.

Fine is how I feel about you.

We're friends.

We definitely did not know each other for six years, but it feels like ten.

You should say that. After they finished, they all broke out in the laughter. So you have two tasks to score here. First it's the funniest poem, and then it's the two teams individually. I can give you a little help with the teams with some stats you like. By my count, Caroline smiled once at the very beginning and never again. Dave has apparently never experienced joy at all, and Augie smiled eight times from a total of nine and an average of three per person.

Oh okay, very interesting. So we will four teams. The points will be as thus in that the team of three will get how do they typically do that? Five points.

For the team of three, and how many for the team of two who came close?

They did come close. I'm gonna go four.

Now, which of these poems did you think was the funniest.

Ooh, this is tough because as the task mistress, I forgot two tasks were occurring simultaneously.

That's on me for not reminding you. Please punish me.

Later later if you asked Daddy nicely. I'm gonna go because it took a couple I think it took a couple of shots at my husband. I'm gonna go Jen five points and then let's go. Let's go Caroline.

I Oh, this is tough.

This is tough. You guys did a really great job and this is very difficult, and I would like you to acknowledge that it's probably more difficult for me though. If anyone's had a really hard time, it's me. Let's go three points, David, David, and let's give two points each to Matt and Augie.

That sounds good, amazing.

You have these down. Thank you so much for writing. Then you're an incredible assistant.

Thank you. All right, Well that's all the pre recorded test for tonight's episode. I think it's time for the live task incredible, Okay, you excuse us for a few minutes. We have to set up.

From that.

I'll have Caroline reading out for her and understanding. Thank you.

Everyone ready, Yes, all right? Write a number on each base of your die. Each base of your die must have a unique number on it before time expires, or you will be disqualified. You have one hundred seconds. Time starts when the task mistress shall die?

Has ever been to understand?

You want me to read it one more time. Yes, write a number on each face of your die.

Each face of your die must have a unique number on it before time expires, or you will be disqualified. You have one hundred seconds. Your time starts when the task Mistress shouts die. So I understand they're trying not to match numbers with any other contestant.

No, they can, but they cannot match a number on two different bases of the same die. There must be six different numbers.

Phenomenal. Okay, Die, if.

Numbers, I'm just gonna wing the timekeeping because I forgot to bring into the timekeeping advice. If I'm just watching that, I should have put some music up show tomorrow. Okay, sounds good?

Yeah, no, okay, okay, raise your day about you if you are completed so far?

Okay, dedicated to her craft as always. This is how a scarlet witch.

Okay, every's done, and yeah, about twenty seconds. Well done. Okay, you would you mind reading out your numbers? Yeah?

I got thirty seven sixty seven.

Four twenty thirteen. Did they say one time? Yeah? Okay, I think I was a lot of them. All right, Caroline, you have written multiple Yeah, so is that one hundred and twenty three thousand, four hundred fifty six?

No, it's one, two, three, four, five six. And then on this side we have four with seventy eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve. This could be amazing or an absolutelyeen seventy eighteen, nineteen, twenty twenty one, twenty two twenty four, twenty five, twenty six, twenty seven, twenty eight, twenty nine, A right two.

Have been made.

One two, three, four, five, eleven thousand, two hundred thirty seven point four, then one.

Three eight six seventeen twenty and.

Finally that zero, one, six, seven, sixty nine and one hundred Andre, Who would you like to read the second part of the task Let's go with day. Don't touch it like don't.

Just did you.

Survive? The color?

Every round, the task mistress will declare a category and the players will individually throw their dice. The player who's die most it's the task mistresses category that round wid the last player standing wins. Bottom of page the word taskmaster. That's okay, doesn't know I didn't this information distractions?

Yeah?

That give you.

Think about that all right, Test mistriss, What is our first category?

The first category? The number that is the most fun to say?

Whoever number that is the most fun to say is eliminated? Roll your dice. There we go. Your number is.

Carol seven or eight or nine or ten or eleven or twelve?

Dave five?

Okay, no seven, which is the most fun to say? Mm hmm, I think five even the most oh, and so I will think.

It was well, then you're eliminated. Maating players, please replaying your dice. Next category, the sexiest. Okay, here's a big here, you play. Roll your dice.

Off your.

Allright? Thirty seven.

Caroline thirteen fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen.

Ten twenty seven.

Yeah, I'm going to go thirty seven. It's the sexiest them eurero to me.

Next category, This is the number that.

Is closest to Aaron's favorite.

Number, which is ironically thirty seven.

Eliminated, All right, roll your dice.

All Carolina, Caroline, would you roll twice? Hold on.

Two million, hundred twenty you your staff if they were.

Twenty? Okay? Mat sixty nine.

By technicality is Carol?

All right? Caroline, you're up to take your seat. It is just Jen and Matt left. And the final category the.

Number that is closest to my favorite cover, which as my husband and my best friend you either of you know, I had to decide.

That my favorite number was all right?

Roll oh that you got seven? Seven?

Again?

Jan?

What'd you get? What means? Jen's a winner?

Numbers?

Yes, the basket of prizes.

Gosh, it's incredible. Eric could you give me a quick recap of the live task scoring?

Okay, so the live task, David at first gets one point, well by Augi who gets two, Caroline who gets three. Matt was flashed out with four, who me with five.

Before we discover who won the episode? Ogie, What are you doing? Where can people find the creative projects you're working on?

Oh?

Yeah, I'm a part of a podcast. I podcast.

Show here where we do British style comedy shows and we ourselves on a regular basis. Check me out there, ladies.

Hell yeah, where can people find you? I'm Caroline.

I am a voice actor and podcaster. I have a podcast with my two best friends from middle school called Ultra Hope Girls, a Dog and Rompa podcast if you know what that is. I'm also a voice actor. You can find what I'm working on at www dot Caroline O R E j U E l a dot com. Amazing Dave, what you got going on?

I am David Auto Vino Auto as in car Veno as in wine, Drink and Drive, and you can google that name and find me all over the internet. I'm an actor and professional voiceover artist. You can find me at my website on Instagram, Blue Sky and YouTube.

Uh not a professional voice actor, but I do as a host. I've made it my personality and Nick Crochet spin and do other fiber related arts and you can find those at half double Docent on Instagram.

I'm Matt Watson. I make a podcast called Gates Leapers. It's a fandom game show. We play silly games. We get comedians to compete against each other with different themed fandoms each time order and I make that together with the help of lovely, wonderful guests and funny people. You can find us on Instagram at Gates Leaper's Pod, Gate Leaper's Pod I need to learn how to say my teas and find us on Spotify and all that good stuff.

Yeah, and Aaron Randolph, can you please reveal the final scurse?

I can, but first om kidding last place with eighteen points, it's Matt.

Yeah.

Just a step above with nineteen points, it's Aggie in third place, a reputable twenty one points. David. So, our two ladies are on the top and they're separated by just one. Think it's you. The twenty eight points it's Caroline and the twenty nine is.

Jen Incredible phenomenal Congratulations Jen, please collect your prizes that are kind of like your competitors, but not quite like you're the competitors.

She said it, Sarah, you want your payback, I can put it at your house. Yes please, I'm actually really excited about this. It's a little drinking.

It won't work, I don't know.

Amazing.

So what have we learned today? We have learned that pansies have little faces on them. We've learned my husband is a liar, and we've learned that Jen has one taskmaster. Night one Jo.

Please come back tomorrow to see even more tasks and the thrilling conclusion find out who's going home with that trophy above. For now, that's it for us. Good night. I'm gonna get shop.