Unstoppable and No Excuses - Journey from Adversity to Leadership and Success - Victoria Pelletier : 137

Despite a tough start in life , Victoria's resilience and determination help her to rise above her circumstances . Victoria has worn many hats . She's an award-winning executive leader , best-selling author , professional public speaker and corporate powerhouse , amongst many other things .

She's an award-winning executive leader , best-selling author , professional public speaker and corporate powerhouse , amongst many other things . She's also known as a turnaround queen and a CEO whisperer . We will explore her perspective on success , leadership , work-life balance and personal branding .

Her journey from a challenging childhood to becoming one of the youngest executives is fascinating , but her real breakthrough comes when she embraces vulnerability and human-centric leadership , finding freedom and even greater success .

I enjoy when she mentioned that she learned from terrible leaders what not to do , and throughout the conversation , I learned that she's a strong , unstoppable , no BS yet human-centric leader who isn't afraid to have difficult conversations , and that is super valuable , because so many people shy away from difficult conversations .

I wonder how it will be to work with her . So let's enjoy Victoria's story . Welcome , Victoria , Victoria , to the show . Thanks for having me . Happy to be here . Yes , I'm very excited for the stories that you're going to share . Yes , tell me why you want to share your story .

She gave me up for adoption and took me back and then , ultimately , when I was around four , I was removed from her care and I was adopted into a loving family , lower socioeconomic . So that's also what sort of propelled me . My adoptive mom said to me I think I was 11 years old she's like Tori , you need to do better than us .

And she meant get an education , get a better job . My dad was a janitor and she was a secretary . But I'll tell you , I don't think , daniela , she had to say that to me because I was determined to be better than biology or the circumstance .

That very much has created this desire in me to succeed and not let anything stop me . I sign a lot of my social media posts with unstoppable . That's because that's my life philosophy and mantra I'm not going to let anything prevent me from achieving the goal or objective I've set for myself .

I mean I said it come from lower socioeconomic conditions so there was no money to like go on , like the school trips . More so , when I was in high school , like even the you know the graduation trips and those kinds of things I didn't get to participate in . The same way , I was ostracized quite a bit , wasn't ?

It didn't sort of stop until I feel like I got into high school . One because I hit my height . I'm only five foot eight , however . I'm only five foot eight , however , I hit this height by the time I was like 11 .

If you look at all my school photos , I was joking with my husband the other day as we were reminiscing like I'm the kid in the middle of the back row , consistently by grade four or five , I was taller than my teacher and I was gifted , which I feel like that's way more like applauded these days , but like I was made fun of for being the teacher's pet ,

and at the time before I skipped grades I kind of just sat to myself beside the teacher doing different work than everyone else Like that way to ostracize and make someone feel like they're very different from anyone .

I usually only had like one or two friends at a time until I kind of got to high school and then again , again , I was younger than everyone but all of a sudden I fit in . I was the same size as everyone , like it was . So from there onward it was better .

But I think I became this like incredible observer of people because I didn't have lots of friends and I've taken that to this day . I use a lot like in business and actually and and and life , quite honestly , and one of my favorite pastimes is like just sitting on a patio , glass of wine , just watching the people around .

After we went to high school , I wasn't taller at all and it was much better to feel that you didn't stand out that way . I love going for coffees and sitting and observing people , so that's something similar . So you did have this emotional intelligence as well as academically , iq as well as EQ .

So I feel like I just advanced quite a bit in my youth , maybe not surprisingly , but I rose , from a work perspective , you know , through the ranks very quickly as well , even though I was so young . I'd had all of this experience that was so much further beyond my young years .

But I thought that's the path I want to go down . But you have to get an undergraduate degree before you go to law school . I worked while I was in university for a bank in their contact center flexible hours , work around my schedule and I got promoted really quickly into a leadership role there .

And so then , near the end of my undergrad , as I was contemplating law school , et cetera , they offered me a relocation across the country and an even greater promotion . I thought , well , you know what , let's take this opportunity . I really was enjoying what I was doing and it was now going to be a promotion .

So what I thought was probably just going to be one year off before I then went to law school has been never Now that I loved the corporate world . I loved leadership and I just kept getting promoted to more senior roles .

After working in banking for about six years , all throughout university , and then for a couple of years afterwards , I got recruited in my first executive role at age 24 .

So think like , although there's like lots of do not solicit lists , now there was telemarketing calls , there was customer service calls and technical support and that's all call center , and now the evolution of chat , of course . But back then it was all call center and they had banking clients .

I was recruited to be the chief operating officer of this private business process , outsourcing BPO for short company , really big stretch role for me . But in their minds I'd run large call center operations in banking and they had banking clients . But there was a lot I had to learn . I had all the functions reporting to me except for finance .

So HR , technology , sales , um , et cetera . So I think I got the competence .

So left banking , although I've always like had banking clients in the in the business to business , like professional services world I've stayed in ever since , you know , moved there and then went to another larger private PO company and then I went into like fortune 500 companies from there , which is predominantly where I've stayed ever since , running like large business

units for some of the largest companies in the world , like American Express , like , most recently , accenture and IBM .

Now I was normally playing a character , so for me I almost had to play this character of the confident Victoria that I was not . The imposter syndrome was real , because I was such a young executive and there were parts of my role I didn't have experience with , but I showed up with it and so that's the you know .

For your listeners I would say that's the only part of the whole fake it till you make it where I think it's important to do it Putting on this brave face of confidence , backed by the fact that I hope I'm not someone who does like self-affirmations and those kinds

of things . That works for many people . I did know inherently that I had great skill and I could . I had a strong propensity to learn , so that in itself gave me the confidence I didn't otherwise naturally have .

I'm almost always people comment on my handshake Like I have a very firm handshake . Now , I've played sports all my life , and so I'm that will be one thing that , immediately , people are like oh , and I do smile and I engage .

What I will say , though , is and this isn't so much related to confidence , but I , I , I feel like there was a , a , a bigger mask that I wore when I was younger , like when I said I played this . You know the confident Victoria .

The reality is , I showed up in a way that I thought I needed to the models of leadership I had , which was probably a little bit more of the command and control , although I think I've always engaged teams relatively well . What I didn't do , because I was afraid to do it , was show any kind of vulnerability and emotion . So , yes , I did have nicknames .

People have called me the B word for sure . What I don't like some of it's some gender language which I don't like . So being you know , men will be called assertive , women will be called aggressive .

Some of it's that dynamic , but some of it was the fact that I was all business all the time Like let's get to it , and it wasn't until years later that I learned that you know what being my vulnerable , authentic self , who's like incredibly an emotional human , actually created like greater trust and relationship with my team .

So I learned later to change some of that .

Otherwise , I probably would have gone to law school at some point , but instead I loved that and leading all parts of the business that changed . So that was helpful . But when I think about mentors , I've had more leaders that I look at , who are , in many cases , horrible leaders . So instead I learn what not to do by carefully observing them .

I've worked for some that were highly unethical and in some cases I've left those organizations as a result of that . Or the way they spoke to people and engaged with people , said one thing in front of them and something behind their back .

Those are things that I observed , going back to like being this observer of people and said , like I am not going to do that , but I am also . I have been a voracious learner and I like to consume content .

Back then it was books predominantly , and now it's podcasts or other , like you know , audio content that I observe , and I've used those as ways to help me become a better leader .

I've become better by the people I've surrounded myself with , even if they're my direct reports or other peers in the organization , always trying to learn from whatever place I can . So no , did I need a formal mentor ? No , I didn't . Could it have helped ?

Absolutely , but I chose to pick and choose and learn from others , in some cases what not to do , and in others just absorb like a sponge what I could from people who knew different things than I did .

They have a position and they want to make sure that anybody under them stay where they are and they never grow , because they want to be better . I mean , what do you think that that's the reason .

I think there's lots of imposter syndrome and people are afraid of being found out . I think that , oh my God , I don't know everything . No one's expecting you to , and so you know .

For people to get comfortable with that and by putting your thumb down on people and holding them down and or not giving people credit , I think ultimately comes down to fear and insecurity in oneself . Thank , you

.

So I needed to be there , and you don't go there for a couple of days , right , You're there for extended periods . I've always been very client facing as well . So I look at when my youngest my kids were six and two , facing as well .

So I look at when my youngest my kids were six and two and I remember that year for tax purposes and I was in , you know , in a US role at the time I'm Canadian Originally I had to remember , like , had to file where I was , and so I spent 220 days on the road that year and I remember my youngest being only two years old , like I would come home on

the weekends . Jordan , my youngest would be speaking in full sentences and it's like I'd I'd miss things during the week . But we had just acquired six companies , I was leading much of the integration , I was seeing clients , so I didn't really feel like I had . I had a choice in that matter .

That said , I do actually believe we all have choice , and I made a choice to prioritize , you know , what was necessary for career . I also had a very supportive partner at home and right around that time we had a nanny who came into the house that helped out , you know , pretty significantly .

However , to counter that , what I will say is that another critical time in my life , when my ex passed away from cancer and I was a single parent , we were divorced but we co parented together , and then I was a single parent , we were divorced but we co-parented together , and then I became a single parent and I was still traveling quite a bit for work .

I made a decision to change jobs to one that took me to less than 10% travel , because it was the right thing for my children to have me grounded . I like to say work-life integration instead of balance . I figured it out . Now it's funny because I've really learned to set really solid boundaries At mid-20s or 30-year-old .

When I was still early in my executive career , I just charged . I worked 80 hours a week . Every week I was on the road all the time . Now I have a lot more demands on my time and say no to a heck of a lot more .

You know the role wasn't quite as big and maybe not quite as exciting , but again , like I said , it was the right thing . So , as much as I follow a path with what I refer to as strategic intentionality , I've always given myself the space to kind of go with the flow as well . So my ex and I should say my ex was an ex-wife .

I came out as a teenager as being bisexual and was with my wife for 11 years .

We were divorced for four before she then passed away from her second round of cancer , and I took my children away at Christmas time to a resort that a friend of mine had referred me to in the Dominican , having never been away during the holidays , but I thought they needed to not be in the same environment because my ex-wife had passed away just only two

months before Christmas . I was pretty resolute that I wasn't going to remain single , because this was the moment I knew I was going to have to change jobs and I did , you know , within a few months later . So my focus was going to be in my kids and I finding a new role for me that didn't have me on the road all the time .

And , wouldn't you know , I met my now husband at that resort . You know . We saw each other in the gym on the beach . He kept getting closer and closer but he was too shy to say hello . So I'm the one who initiated that .

But my youngest at the time was nine and was swimming in the pool as he and my husband , danny and I had started a conversation and Jordan found out that he was by himself at Christmas time and invited him to join us for dinner . So Jordan likes to think that Jordan's the reason why we're together . Not that there was any kind of chemistry and connection .

I let life flow and thought I needed another like corporate executive who understood what I did . When I date men , I generally like taller men . He's my height , but it was like all everything just kind of fell into place and he subsequently adopted my children .

He's an amazing human who gave up his career , for mine to move to be with us , and because I've been relocated several times since , and so we're together 10 and a half years . My children are 24 and my youngest turns 20 in June , and we live a pretty great life . We , with the flexibility of the pandemic , moved from New York to Miami beach and love it .

When we met I said , if we're even going to do this thing , my job was in New York , my house is in Toronto . I'm needing to find a new job . I don't know where it's what it's going to be . And I said , but with my two children , like there's no option , we're moving to Quebec .

He gave up a 25 year career where , like I said , he was , you know , at the top for him . I made significantly more money , like by multiples , was still on a trajectory and path to continue to like really excel from a career perspective . So he did it for love . I think it was an adjustment for him for sure .

I mean , he'd never been married and had no children before . So all of a sudden he steps in my kids were nine and 13 at the time and he adjusted incredibly well and tell people that he's and I think it was me who gave him the language .

I'm like , babe , tell people you're retired , you are , you're retired after 25 years and you're you know , not just the house husband Like he makes my life very , very possible yeah , you know , bringing me lunch or tea when I'm working from home , or he used to be the one who'd take the kids back and forth from school .

So it's a partnership and I will tell particularly women who choose to have children a lot of the childcare duty falls upon them that they need to find partners who are going to recognize that there's an equal partnership in duties . Doesn't all need to sit on the mother and she shouldn't have to give up her career to be able to have it all , as you said .

I did actually think I had another role to go to , but unfortunately the CEO of that company got fired like while I was in the middle of the offer process . So it didn't happen . So I've continued to be in transition , finding like I want to find the right fit for me , preferably that's actually a smaller company .

Having worked for such large companies , I'd like to go smaller . I have to interrupt . So you didn't have a job for a while . Yes , I've been in transition , but I'm not very good at like being idle .

If I had to do it full time I don't think I'd enjoy it as much . But I have been doing a lot of public speaking . I do a ton of media work . I'm invited to be a guest on media talking about some of the things that I'm a subject matter leader in , and I then , like now's the time to write a book . I keep talking about writing another book .

Funny enough , I couldn't decide between the two topics that I really wanted to write on , so I did them both , and so I wrote one book on personal branding , and that one came out in January of this year . And my other book , on leadership and culture , is written . It's recorded for the audio . It'll be released in September .

So I've been doing it for a very , very long time and then , maybe 10 or 12 years ago , I started to get asked to speak just independently . At some point I'm like , why am I not charging for this ? Somewhere between 10 and 12 years ago I started to charge and became a professional public speaker , put up a website .

That was you know very much where people can find me the books and the podcasts that I'm on , but it's very much there about me as a speaker and hiring me for that . So I do love it . I love being in front of audiences

. As I said , I don't want to do it full time and I'm really excited that I was invited to speak at TEDx .

I'm used to delivering 45 to 60 minute keynotes , where I know the content very much , but I'm not scripted , you know . So , yes , there's slides I follow , but I'm reading the audience and I'm thinking of a different story I'm going to tell . So I like that , whereas this pretty much a memorized talk , but I never want it to sound like it's scripted .

This is actually where my acting skills come in , because I , you know , can make it sound much more natural . But yeah , I initially sort of stressed over the fact that I'm like , oh my gosh , like I'm coming in around that 11 minute mark .

Have you taught them to be different ?

How I showed up as a leader , how I was , and so I've learned from my mistakes and this is a part of why I speak . Why I've written this next book on leadership is to share some of that , so hopefully , people won't make some of the same mistakes that I made . But now there's more like in these last couple of years .

The pandemic shook everyone in terms of wanting to work for companies and in jobs , roles specifically , that are about purpose and impact . Well , it's my job as a leader to help sometimes translate that , particularly if you're more junior , like let me understand how what I do contributes to that .

It's also about the development and investment in people , which takes time , and so I , what I see is there continue to be , you know , leaders who talk about that , but when push comes to shove and , by the way , incentives how they are incented , you know , receive their bonuses None of it's actually around these human skills .

It's on sales , revenue , profitability , you know , in the companies , and so I do think incentives need to change if we want to change truly culture , if we want to have more diverse and inclusive , you know , workforces , etc . Some of this is hard stuff . You know my book is called the whole human leader and that's my phrase , but it's .

We show up as a whole human and like we can't park . You can try . You can try and compartmentalize and that doesn't work for too long or not without certainly pain to oneself . So I think there's a healthier level of resilience that we need to have .

But the whole human means that we share our lived experiences , we build like real relationships with the people that we work with . It doesn't mean that you trade performance for being that kind of leader .

I actually think it's worked to my advantage because I've shown trust and care and compassion and a real commitment to employees' development and growth , so that when I actually need to have that tough performance conversation , they know I'm doing it from a place of care and compassion and wanting them to move forward .

It didn't immediately cause me to change , actually , it's just I remember hearing it and I'm like , oh well , it's probably because I was brought in to do I'm usually given really troubled like portfolios or businesses . I have a positive nickname as the turnaround queen because I am able to improve businesses et cetera .

But that often comes with very difficult restructuring or performance management , and so at the time I sort of chalked it up to the fact that I was in a place , in a position where I was having to have a lot of those really tough conversations . But it was a couple months after I heard that nickname .

I was talking to a peer of mine on a Monday morning and I was asking her what she'd done , you know , for her weekend and sharing with her that I'd gone to the movies , telling her that I cried so much in the movie theater like I was bawling , I had only those tiny little popcorn like napkins and she turned and she looked at me and she said , vic , I

thought you'd be the type of person who laughed at people who cried at movies . That was the moment where I'm like oh my God , like and she was a peer , she wasn't a direct report who I would have had to like , and I'm like . That's when I truly realized , like the , you know that perception becomes people's reality and I knew that's not who I am .

You know my nickname is turtle . Tough , resilient exterior shell can handle a lot , but I'm actually really like soft and marshmallowy on the inside . I cry at , like the humane society commercials , like I'm a very emotional being , but I never let anyone see that .

So instead , what they saw was this mask of me being all business all the time , not showing emotion , not showing vulnerability . That was when I had to start to make a change , and it didn't happen overnight at all .

I had to do things that were not natural or comfortable for me , things like being intentional about walking into a meeting and not immediately diving into the agenda . Let's have a human conversation , let me learn a little bit more about you . Then I started to share my story of where I came from , which I hid from many people . I don't want you to know that .

And so it was that . And then I saw how people reacted to me and the type of relationships that I built with people by doing that . Then I realized like , oh my God , this is really good and I also felt better . I felt free .

It took a few years doing it with intention and , by the way , I changed companies at one point so it was easier to start over where they had no history with , to show as the new leader that I was .

She would force me to sit down and be really self aware and self reflective and understand why I had the emotions that I had , why I was acting out in certain ways . Like I said , I hated it then , but it taught me a lot .

It actually taught me to have a healthier way of being resilient , and a big part of that is being like really self-aware and reflecting on things . I was able to use that skill that she'd taught me in that moment to really hear and then internalize just that comment that wasn't even intended to be a piece of feedback , necessarily for me .

You're right , you want to be strong , you want to project strength , but at the same time , I think there is a place for emotion , like I think of , maybe not in the early restructures that I did , but there have been other ones where , you know , I've had to restructure and let many people go , like impacting someone's livelihood .

I don't take that lightly and , no , I don't want to cry in the moment where people are crying because I'm announcing their job loss but at the same time I want are crying because I'm announcing their job loss but at the same time I want to show them I'm human and that it's , it was an emotional decision that , yes , it's driven by the need for , you know ,

for the business . So I think there's moments you know to do it and still project great strength and confidence as a leader . Still project great strength and confidence as a leader

.

I have had my speaking business and I do a little bit of coaching , both for personal brand and some executive coaching . So I will maintain that A lot of people at the end stages of their career move into what they refer to , what they refer to as a portfolio career little bit of this , little bit of that you know .

So , from boards to speaking , consulting , et cetera . I have that now . When I choose to officially retire from corporate , it will already be established and I can choose to expand it if I want , or just keep it at the rate that I do it now .

It's kind of a formula , but it's a combination of the strength of your brand , the network , how you engage with the network . When I started that first executive role and all of a sudden I was leading sales and client management teams , I wasn't calling it personal branding .

Back then I didn't have the vernacular , but what I was essentially doing was trying to build a really strong brand in my teams who were client facing , and myself . How do we differentiate ourselves from others who are doing what we're doing ?

So I've now been building my brand for over 20 years and it's evolved and changed and I've pivoted at certain times and I'm seeing so many people trying to do that . We saw much more of a focus on the digital persona you think of influencers . Personal brand is .

For me , it's not like the TikTok Instagram influencers you know most people think of and having like massive million . You know followers In my context , where I'm talking predominantly , you know , from a business standpoint . People do business with people they like and trust and want to do business with . What I kept seeing is people were showing up online .

The first foundation for your brand is what do you do and who do you do it for or in what industry are you known ? So I'm a finance expert , I'm a data and analytics person , and maybe I'm really well known in the healthcare industry . That could be someone's brand , that's great , but that's just this tiny tiny slice . That's what you do , not .

Why you do it , who you are as a human . What do you want to be known for ? I started to see , too . We saw a lot of people being laid off .

There was a over hiring , I think at some point in the pandemic , particularly in the space I play in , in consulting , in technology and then there was a right sizing , and so I was seeing all these people in transition and all of a sudden now they're trying to build their brand .

First of all , you need to build it , so it's there for you when you need it and you should be building it very early on . I tell my older son coming out of college he needs to be building it . And so for me , there's four elements broadly to your brand . There's the first part , the what you do and be clear around where you've had successes doing it .

And then the next is what makes you human ? What are your stories , lived experience ? What are your values ? What are your stories , lived experience , what are your values , what are your interests and passions ? These are the things that , like , create a connection or a hook with someone to want to start , you know , engage in a conversation with you .

And then the next thing is what makes you different ? There's other people who have this , maybe the same number of years of experience in the same industry as you . But why would someone want to hire you ? You know , to either be a client for a consultant for them or as an employee . What makes you different than those people ?

So , things like me , the fact that I'm extreme , and the two , I should say , overlap a lot , you know . So , for me , I'm extremely values driven , focused on ethics , focused on doing the right thing , and that is both who I am . But it's also what makes me different than others and the fact that I operate with radical candor .

I don't shy away from the difficult conversations . I do it because I care , and in my world of consulting , many times I find consultants tell clients what they want to hear and not what they need to hear . I'm known and I think I'm almost more trusted because they know that I'm coming to them with honesty .

And then the last part is what do you want to be known for ? So when I die , I don't want people talking at my funeral about all the mergers and acquisitions that I've done in my lifetime or about what , like sales and revenue and profitability have driven for the companies I've worked for . I want it to be about the whole . That's one small part .

I'm very focused on social justice , on creating better workplaces , communities in a world at large , through diversity , equity , inclusion and through sharing my story and creating , you know , motivation and inspiration for people .

That's the bigger brand , and so that's why I wrote the book , because I saw people just doing this tiny , tiny bit and falling down around how they showed up , particularly online , but it should be the same in real life as it is digitally , I see these that , yes , you have to build your brand , since you are younger .

If you say , for example , you believe in diversity and you want to be fair with employees , but if you're not working , how can you contribute to that ? Feel that when people retire , then what happened to your brand ? What else can you do to those values ? For example , there's advocacy work .

I was hired as a CEO for a company , for a very conservative , very religious family office , to be the CEO for one of the companies in their portfolio . First of all , they didn't do their homework on me . They let me go in my first week when they found out that I'm queer . And so here's an example .

And I could do this later in life , once I'm retired , in a different way of advocacy . I chose to share that publicly on LinkedIn . I didn't name the company , I didn't name names , but I said this is my experience . It still exists today . You know the discrimination , so I'm sharing it because we all need to do better , we need to do more for one another .

So that was a way . I'm not working right now , but that's a way that I could continue to do it . I have a ton of privilege . I am a white woman , born in North America , and so I have a voice , I have large following .

I have a platform to advocate for others , so I spent a lot of time trying to help my friends , community members , employees that don't have the same privilege , my black and brown colleagues , or , in the community , trying to be the sponsor for people who might not have the same opportunities as me . This goes back to this is my brand . It's who Victoria is .

So can I do it ? When I'm working full time , 100% , because I will be leading large teams and I can create diversity in a more inclusive environment .

But even when I'm not working , I am writing about it , I am sharing , I am helping others , and so that's just who I am , and so I think you can do that regardless of and , to your point , like it's not connected to , any one company you know or job title .

Right , like , understand , like so sometimes people come to me because of the they know my brand or they've been referred to me Many times . They're doing it because they're looking to get more sales for their business . That will come , but that is not coming overnight .

And so let's get really clear on what your brand identity , who you are , all of those facets of who you are , those foundational elements , as I've described . But it also needs to be like what's your audience , what's your goal for doing this From there ? It takes time . So , no , it's never too late .

But I do encourage people to start that as early as possible . But know that it's also okay , it's going to change . You know I wanted to be a lawyer and then I've ended up in the corporate world . You know that happened while I was still in university . I made the decision .

But I think you know my son went my older son went to school for computer engineering . He's now decided he's not ready for the boring desk job . He's doing construction , his choice . He's happy . I mean like , if you're happy , buddy , and you can pay your bills , great . But he might make a decision in a few years from now .

So you can change , you can pivot . What doesn't change is who you are innately , and so there's other elements of your brand that will flourish and grow and you want people to know about . Yes , good .

So the unseen employee and how do you as a leader find and that maybe that's the diverse employee , but it can be trying to uncover that you know , the people , the understanding people's career trajectories and their desires to talking about vulnerability I talk about in the book , and so in each chapter I give examples from my past to help people learn , and in

some cases it's where I had made mistakes and I failed and I will happily share that . So hopefully someone can learn from that so that one will come out in September . I'm excited by that one . It's like I said , I spent a lot of time .

As you and I talked about earlier , there's not enough leaders who are showing up in this heart centered , human centered way . I hope this can help maybe be a little bit of a movement towards that .

This would allow the ordinary magic to go further . Join me next time for another story conversation . Thank you for listening . Hasta pronto . Thank you , thank you .